03x13 - You Don't Own Me

[bunniefuu]

[music]

You stand accused
for the crime of theft,

for which
you have been convicted,

as well as fleeing Kree justice,

- and now attacking a Kree vessel.
- Incorrect.

The one who forced our ship
to att*ck is right behind you.

[whirring]
The Collector's ship?

He was telling the truth?
Hala... my home world.

No.
[crying]

Nooo!

[grunts]

[gasps]

- Where's my Quantum Sword?
- Easy, Phyla.

We're sort of using it
to power our ship right now.

You what?!
I need my Quantum Sword.

The Collector must answer for the
destruction of my planet, Hala!

I am Groot.

Good point, bud.
Today is her lucky day,

'cause we're headed
right for the Collector's ship.

[yells]

To investigate, Rocket,

not charge in with no plan
and start fighting.

- But those are my two finest skills.
- Quill's right, Drax.

We don't know the Collector
destroyed Hala.

Exactly, Gamora.
Look, he's called the Collector,

not the Blower-Upper.

That's why we're heading in cloaked
and sneaking aboard his ship.

Truth before vengeance.

It's the difference between being
a Guardian and being an Accuser.

[trilling]

I know the truth.

I saw the Collector
destroy my planet,

which means I'm going
to end him... slowly.

Hey!
I get you're angry, Phyla,

but something about this
just doesn't add up.

So if you want our help getting the
Collector, you're doing it our way.

I will do it the way
that best serves my vengeance.

- [Gamora] You lost her at "hey."
- And we just lost our cloak!

[whirs up]
[music]

Okay, new plan.
We're making this up as we go.

[Rocket] Uh-huh.
As per flargin' usual!

[Quill] We've got just enough
power left from Phyla's sword

to make it to the main hangar.
I'm going in.

Would that not require
the door to be open?

He's got a point, Quill.
[sneers]

[engine revving]

[Quill] Whoo-hoo! Yeah!

Can't find a door?
Make a door!

[whimpering]

[screeching metal]

- Toughest ship in the galaxy!
- [Rocket] It was!

I'd say the Collector's warm
little welcome proves his guilt.

Now, let's move.

Can you just hold the revenge
for a krutackin' second?

We don't have a krutackin'
second. [whirring]

You'll have a lot more to mourn

if you don't get out of there now!

Greetings, Guardians.
How may we destroy you today?

Don't worry. I've dealt
with these gronkahs before.

[grunts]

They do not appear intimidated.

[Quill] They should be.
On my signal... [Phyla yells]

[grunting]

[yells]

[yelling]

[sighs] Okay.
Points for enthusiasm.

But now we need to find the
Collector and get some answers.

He destroyed my planet!
What answers do I need?

How about... why would a guy
who devoted his entire life

to collecting stuff... wanna blow
up a whole planet full of stuff?

To make the Kree items he
already possesses more valuable.

Not... helping.

Maybe the Collector used that Kree
thing he framed us for stealing

- to hide your planet... somehow.
- I am Groot?

How should I know how
you hide a whole planet?

- Ask the genius.
- Well, don't know "how,"

but I got a sneaking suspicion
on "why."

Any good thief knows
the best way to steal something

is to make people think
it doesn't exist.

The device you stole from the Kree
was used to destroy Hala.

[Gamora] How can you be so sure?

Because that's what
it was designed to do.

It's a black hole generator.

But... that tech is illegal.

Which is why we kept it secret.

Fine. Even if the Collector
did blow up Hala,

you're with the Guardians now,

and Guardians don't
execute people on sight!

Hm. You're right.
I need to make him suffer first.

By destroying the only thing
he loves... his collection.

This ship and everything on it
officially stands accused.

- Well, that's kind of a win.
- Not if she blows up the whole ship.

You guys find
another way outta here.

I'll try to talk some sense into her.

[whirring]
[music]

Aah! Will you watch
where you're throwing

the priceless artifacts?!
[clattering]

[clattering continues]
[electricity arcing]

Worthless trinkets, and
likely stolen to begin with!

Look, I get it.
Vengeance feels good.

But it doesn't help us find
out what happened to Hala.

I know what happened to Hala! [grunts]

You should be more concerned
about what will happen to you

if you don't stay out of my way!
[yells]

[grunts]

[groans]
Seriously?

The Collector collects snow
globes? [clattering resumes]

Wait...
That's not a snow globe. Phyla!

[clattering continues]
I... I think this is Hala.

The real Hala.
It's just... really little.

[panting]

If you want to stop me
with a lie, Quill, pick a better one.

No, Phyla, this is real!

No, it isn't!
My home world is gone.

That's just another shiny trinket the
Collector won't get to keep! [yells]

[grunts]

- I'm trying to help you!
- Then give me the globe.

Not until you promise
not to smash your own planet.

Hey, what's that?
[whimpers]

- That is not my planet!
- Is too!

Let us keep this in
mint condition, shall we?

[Phyla] You monster!

Phyla, wait!
[grunts]

Your planet is perfectly safe,
Phyla-Vell.

But I advise you not to tempt me.

- Then... that's really Hala?
- Oh, so him you believe!

- How? How did you even do this?
- Quite easily.

I converted
your black hole generator

into a molecular
compression engine.

Because certain simpletons
kept destroying my collection,

I needed a faster method
of replacement.

With my new compressor,

I can now collect entire planets
in one fell swoop.

[Quill] Huh. Well, that is a
pretty good plan, Collector.

After all, it's gotta be hard
to replace things like...

I don't know...
like this? [clatter]

No, no!
[stammers]

[huffs]
It does not matter.

I own the entire
Kree civilization now,

- and soon the entire galaxy.
- Exactly.

So, I mean, one piece of
art doesn't matter. I mean...

- Please don't... [groans]
- Whoops. [chuckles]

Oh, stepped on it with
my foot. [clatters]

Or two, or...
[object shatters]

Ooh! Did you hear
the sound that made?

It was like a tinkle-crinkle
kind of thing.

[object shatters]
Oh, there's the third one! My bad.

[grunts]
[Groot grunts]

I am Groot!

[grunts]

[Quill] Yeah, that's
enough stalling for now.

Flarg, Quill!
If you wanted a souvenir,

you could've picked
something nicer.

[Phyla] It's Hala,
thank you very much.

The Collector shrunk it. And
now he'll pay for those crimes.

Whoa, Phyla! Why don't we figure
out how to restore your world

before you slice up the guy
who shrank it?

We're Guardians, remember?

Fine! But first let me show you
how an Accuser handles things.

Where's the generator?!

[whirring]
[grunts]

Weapons vault.
Two lefts and a right.

It's true, I swear!
[groaning]

- Ouch...
- Thank you for your cooperation.

- She is very effective at her job.
- Maybe Quill should take notes.

[music]

[excited gasp] This room
holds the deadliest weapons

in the entire galaxy.
Groot, we're home.

Don't touch anything.

Thanos spoke
of many of these weapons.

They're as dangerous to their
masters as they are to their victims.

You ever think he just wanted to
keep the fun stuff

- for himself? Huh?
- [Phyla] Over here!

[music]

[Rocket] Hey, if I don't
get to blast things,

you don't get to primp in front
of some weird-looking mirror.

Move it!

- There's the generator.
- Well, then,

let's flip the reverse switch
and get Hala all big again.

I mean, how hard can that be?
Am I right?

So, which is the reverse switch?

The generator's definitely being routed
through a stabilizing matrix here.

- If we reverse its magnetic...
- Pfft! That ain't no stabilizing matrix.

Don't you know a souped-up
compression relay when you see one?

You reverse anything on that,
the whole thing will explode.

Not that there's anything
wrong with explosions,

but the one thing
you wanna avoid above all

is electrocution.
[beeps]

[ascending whirring]
[yelling]

[groans] What is it
with you and buttons?

- Didn't you grow out of this yet?
- I am... Groot.

Well, you mostly just flarged us.

[buttons beeping]
[growls, yells]

You overloaded the relay!

- The matrix.
- Whatever!

The point is,
your planet's getting bigger

inside a very
less-than-planet-sized spaceship.

And thanks to Groot,
I can't shrink it back!

[sighs] I am Groot.

We have to get this thing
off the ship, fast!

[grunts, pants] Then stop
your yammering and lift.

[grunting] Who would've thought
a planet would be so heavy?

[Collector] Me, for a start.

Now put my planet down...
carefully.

[Phyla] It's my planet!

And you should know better
than to bring a glove

to a sword fight! [yells]

[all grunt]

That's not a glove.
It's the Tactigon!

It creates the perfect w*apon
to defeat any opponent.

Drax is a perfect w*apon.

[yells]

[grunts]

[grunting]

I am Groot!
[grunts]

[crying out]

It is the perfect defense...
and offense.

[yells] Okay, anyone who knows
how to counter the perfect w*apon,

- now's the time to speak up.
- Simple. Find a better one.

[Gamora grunts]

Oh, now she wants us
to touch 'em.

[grunts]

I am Groot, I am Groot,
I am Groot! [thud]

I am Groot!

[grunts]

[yells, groans]

What the flarg kind of
element blaster is this?

[grunts]
An Element of Surprise Blaster.

Yeah? Well, surprise this!

[boink]

You really think a toy
could defeat the Tactigon?

[grunting]

[cries out]

Guess the Tactigon
thought it was a toy too.

No one escapes Kree justice.

You want justice?
Here is my justice.

Computer, self-destruct
activation... Taneleer .

Ha! Yeah, right.

We know you'd never destroy
your priceless collection.

You mean the collection that you
have already destroyed?

The only priceless thing now
is knowing none of you

will make it out of here alive.
[beeps]

[computer]
Self-destruct initiated.

[alarm blaring]
Commencing countdown.

Self-destruct initiated.
Commencing countdown.

[alarm blaring]
[computer] Self-destruct initiated.

Commencing countdown.

Okay, I know I said it before,

but we need to get Hala
off this ship, fast.

Anybody seen it? Tiny planet,
excessive justice system?

[alarm continues blaring]

Yeah.
But it ain't so tiny no more.

- I am Groot!
- Everyone grab a side.

We have to get this to the hangar
before it expands even further.

- Watch it.
- New plan.

- I saw a loading door that way.
- Which way?

- I can't see anything.
- I am Groot.

I am Groot.

[Rocket grunts]
He said, "Go right."

- I am Groot!
- Then say, "My right"!

- [sighs] I am Groot!
- Hey, you wanna switch?

[strained] Be my guest!

Don't worry.
We're almost there.

It's right there...
Oh, it's just another... [sighs]

[all sighing]

The hangar seemed much closer
when we were not carrying a planet.

Self-destruct in nine minutes.

- You trust me, right?
- Not even a little.

Well, time to start.
[whirring]

As we say on Earth,
let's roll!

[grunts] We still won't get
Hala through that door in time.

Heh! What door?
[whirring up]

Self-destruct in seven minutes.

Flarg! We won't get Hala away
from the blast radius in time.

[Quill] Then we'll have to get
the blast radius away from Hala.

Phyla, push your planet outta here.

We'll lock the ship's course
in the other direction and run.

Agreed.
Thank you...

for showing this Accuser
what it means to be a Guardian.

[Quill] Wait. She could've done
that the whole time?

[Rocket] You wanna blow up?!
Don't just stand there.

Get to the bridge!

[music]

[trilling]

Self-destruct in six minutes.

Controls are locked.
I can't change course!

I got this.

Flarg! The resistor
relay's overloaded.

The only way to get this
tub moving without shorting out

the engine is to
regulate the power manually

till I get
the auxiliary relay back up.

It means do what I say,

and we might... might...
make it out of this.

Groot, reroute steering controls and get
this thing pointed in the right direction.

- I am Groot.
- You two, dump any power spikes

into non-primary systems.

- Um, not that I don't know...
- If a light turns red, pull its cord

and move it to a green light.

Drax, throw the primary
override and hold it there.

As with buttons,
so too will Drax defeat...

[grunts] all levers!
[whirring]

Let's just hope I ain't defeated
by the Collector's shoddy wiring.

[grunting]

Guardians, I don't see any escape pods.
Lock controls and evacuate.

[grunting]

Evacuate?
Huh! Why would I do that

when I can just stay here
and explode?!

[alarm beeping]

Rocket, I'm all for a
dramatic exit, but hurry up!

[grunts, winces]

[sighs, grunts]

[grunts]
[descending whirring]

Huh?

- What happened?
- The d'ast thing overloaded!

Yeah, we saw that part, but how
do you fix it in four minutes?

Self-destruct in three minutes.

Three minutes.

We... We don't.

We either leave now
and maybe make it,

- or stay and make sure Hala does.
- You are sure of this?

No, I just felt like adding drama
to the situation. Of course I'm sure!

The Kree better name, like, seven
high schools after me for this.

"After us," you mean.

- Then we stay.
- I am Groot.

[sighs] On the bright side,
I owe a lot of jerks units

that I won't have to
pay back no more.

Self-destruct in two minutes.

[ 's pop rock mousc]

[music]
[alarm beeping]

[engine whirring]

[beeping intensifies]

[yells, grunts]

[distant clattering]

[gasps]

No...

[muffled music continues play]