♪ Here's the story
of a lovely lady ♪
♪ Who was bringing up
three very lovely girls ♪
♪ All of them had hair of gold ♪
♪ Like their mother ♪
♪ The youngest one in curls. ♪
♪ It's the story of a
man named Brady ♪
♪ Who was busy with
three boys of his own ♪
♪ They were four
men living all together ♪
♪ Yet they were all alone. ♪
♪ Till the one day when
the lady met this fellow ♪
♪ And they knew that it was
much more than a hunch ♪
♪ That this group ♪
♪ Must somehow form a family ♪
♪ That's the way we all became ♪
♪ The Brady Bunch ♪
♪ The Brady Bunch,
the Brady Bunch ♪
♪ That's the way we
became the Brady Bunch. ♪
Now, higher. Higher.
Mike, I think
that's high enough.
I got a close-up, honey. Smile.
Hi, everybody.
CAROL: Hi, Greg.
How's it going?
Hey, Mom, we've
got a history teacher
like you wouldn't believe.
Is that bad or good?
She wants us to be creative.
We're supposed to
study the early colonies,
and then think up
some interesting way
to tell about it.
A kind of report?
Yeah, sort of. One kid's going
to write a play about Salem,
and another's going to build a
model of Plymouth Settlement,
and another's going
to paint a picture.
Say, that is groovy. She
sounds like a good teacher.
She is, Mom.
What are you going to do, Greg?
I don't know yet.
Say, your camera.
Suppose I could use your camera?
For your report? Well,
if you be careful with it.
Yeah, I'll make a
movie about the Pilgrims.
Now, that'll
really be different.
A movie!
Say, Mike, that's a great idea.
I bet I get an "A" for it.
An "A" movie? Does that mean
kids can see it
without their parents?
Mike?
Hmm?
Did you know that Plymouth
wasn't actually the first stop
the Mayflower made
in the New World?
Yeah. They stopped
at the tip of Cape Cod
for fresh water.
Greg told me, too.
Good night, honey.
Mike?
Mm-hmm.
You know, Greg is
simply devouring history.
I think it's wonderful.
Mmm.
Well, I wish there were more.
Hmm?
Teachers like that.
Mm-hmm.
Writing plays, painting,
making movies.
Kids are bound to learn more.
Mmm.
Good night, dear.
( softly groans)
( typewriter keys clacking)
( whispering): Mike!
Honey, now what?
I hear something.
( carriage return
sliding, roller moving)
That sounds like a typewriter.
At this hour?
( typewriter keys clacking)
( typewriter keys
clacking loudly)
Greg.
Oh!
What are you doing up?
Oh, I'm working
on the screenplay
for my movie.
What, now?
Well, I'm too excited to sleep.
Besides, my mind works best
at this time of night.
Oh, good. When
you get a little older,
I'll send you to night school.
Hit the sack, huh?
Okay. I'm stuck here anyway.
Hey, wait a minute.
What?
I got an idea for that.
How's that?
What's going on here?
Greg's writing his screenplay.
Greg is?
What do you think of that?
Well... No, no, no. Uh-uh. No.
No, I think the Indian chief
should definitely
say, "I come in peace."
MIKE: Aw, that's
not the way they talk
in the movies.
You've got to have
a lot of "ughs" and "hows."
Oh, that's corny, dear.
ALICE: Hey, how about this?
A bush noiselessly parts,
and the painted face of
a red man peers stealthily
through the leaves.
Indians are always
doing that in movies.
Yeah, Alice, that isn't bad.
Hey, hey, that's a great way
to start the whole thing!
Dad, I... Excuse
me, would you, Greg?
I'll just type it right in here.
Dad...
Well, if nobody minds,
I think I'll go to bed.
Hey, Mike, will you
put that in How's that?
About "I come in peace"?
"Samoset says...
That's my line, Alice: "I come
in peace." I come in peace."
You've got to paint
the lines straight.
CINDY: Is mine good?
GREG: Looks fine,
but make it look real.
Wow, you sure are a
bunch of busy little beavers.
Hey, what's this?
That's the stock.
We put criminals in it.
They get nothing
but bread and water.
And splinters.
I borrowed it from school
along with some other props.
Say, this looks
like the real thing.
Is this how it was
in the olden times?
Exactly.
Like when you
were a little girl?
Bobby, your mother
wasn't born then.
Well, Alice?
Neither was I!
Jan, did you wash your hands?
Yeah, see? Told you.
Say, what's taking
Bobby so long?
I don't know. I didn't see him.
Well, go call your brother.
( shouts): Bobby!
I said go call him,
not scream for him.
I could have done that.
BOBBY: Help!
Hey, that's Bobby!
BOBBY: Help! Help!
( screaming)
Mom!
Coming!
Mom, help me!
Let me out!
Let me out!
Here, I'll get it.
Here, Greg, do it the other way.
Just a minute, honey.
We'll get you out.
How did you get stuck in there?
I don't know.
If I knew, I wouldn't have.
Hold still, sweetheart.
I'm holding, Mom.
Mom, I tell you, that's
the wrong costume.
Well, dear, why don't
you let me finish it
before you reject it?
They didn't wear stuff like that
in Pilgrim days...
Only black and white.
Oh, but it's a shame to dress
the girls in black and white
when you're using color film.
Hi, everyone.
Hi, dear.
Oh, careful! The pins!
Wow, don't want to get stuck.
Hey, that's one of the
Pilgrim costumes. Very nice!
It's nice, but
not for a Pilgrim!
They only wore black and white.
That must have been
the origin of "basic black."
Yeah, and let's
leave it that way.
Yeah, well, I think
you can stretch a point
in a movie.
I, for one, don't believe all the
things Charlton Heston does.
( knock at door)
We're busy.
Well, I just wanted to give you
your parts in the movie.
Oh, I want to be Priscilla!
Sorry, Jan. I'm
going to be Priscilla.
I said it first.
I'm Priscilla.
I want to be a Priscilla, too.
Now, wait a minute.
I'm the director, and...
( all arguing)
Knock it off, everyone!
Now, then, the
part of Priscilla...
Greg, you might as well
know: if I'm not Priscilla,
I'm not going to be in
your dumb old movie!
Me, either.
Me, either, either.
Oh, come on.
Well, am I in or am I out?!
Well, look at me, too!
Oh, boy!
( arguing)
( whooping)
Hey, you guys, would you
come here for a minute?
Gotcha!
Finished?
Yeah, I guess so.
Good. I want to give you
your parts in the movie.
Good. I want to be
an Indian. Me, too.
You're gonna be John Alden,
and you're Myles Standish.
Was he an Indian?
He was a Pilgrim.
I want to be an Indian!
You listen to me...
I'm the director,
and I say you're both
gonna be Pilgrims.
Indians! Indians!
( whooping)
I can't wait to tell
Greg's history teacher
what a wonderful idea
her assignment was.
I don't know how
she'd react to that.
Right. Teachers
are used to getting
nothing but knocks these days.
Here comes Mr. DeMille now.
Hey, Greg, listen.
I got a great idea
for that "hard winter" part.
Yeah. Me, too.
Hey, look. I wrote mine down.
Later.
Greg?
Yes?
Something bothering you, son?
Yeah, I'll tell you
what's bothering me.
It's Priscilla and the Indians.
All the girls want
to be Priscilla,
and all the boys
want to be Indians.
Well, you're the director.
Who do you want to be Priscilla?
Jan. But Marcia
won't be in the movie
if she's not Priscilla.
Jan?
Do you think she's ready
for a romantic role?
Well, I think Marcia...
I was thinking about myself.
You?
Sure. Speak for yourself, Alice.
After all, I played the part
at Pilgrim Festival
at P.S. In ' .
Or was that P.S. In ' ?
Why don't you solve the problem?
Let your mother play Priscilla.
With Bobby as Myles Standish?
( chuckles)
Well, your father was
only trying to help, Greg.
I don't want any more help.
I'm getting helped right out
of everything I want to do.
I want to write my
own screenplay,
design my own sets,
choose my costumes
and pick the actors.
Don't you see? It's my project.
It has to be my work.
I'm the only one
who gets graded on it.
And if I can't do it,
then the movie's off.
And that's what it is... off.
Greg... we're sorry.
We were just trying to help.
I know, Dad.
I'm sorry I popped
off like that.
You have every right to pop off.
Even at your pop.
It's your project,
and you should make
your own decisions.
You handle it any way you want,
and we'll do whatever you say.
Thanks, but the other guys
don't want to do it my way, so...
Not anymore,
'cause I'll pass the
word that you're the boss.
And you'll all do
whatever I say?
Our mouths will be closed.
Right.
GREG: Now, don't forget...
when I say "action," you start.
When I say "cut,"
you stop. You got it?
Okay, everybody in their places
ready to start. PETER: Ready.
Priscilla, how do you...
Peter, Peter, not yet.
You said start.
Didn't he say start?
You said start.
But you don't start
till I say "action." You got it?
Okay, everybody?
Ready and... action!
Priscilla, how do you
like the New World
and living in the...
New settlement.
In the new settlement
with spacious skies
and amber waves of grain,
purple mountains,
majesties and fruited...
above the fruited plains?
Greg, Greg... Cut.
Come on, Dad, and I thought
I was supposed to do
this for myself. Listen, Mike,
why don't you let
Greg do it for himself?
Yeah, Dad. Come on, Dad.
Dad, that's not fair.
Yeah, come on. Yeah, Dad.
This time I insist.
This time you have
got to do as I say
or no movie.
All right, Dad, let's hear it.
Son, if you are going
to make a movie,
before you sh**t the scene
you have to take
the cover off the lens.
( cracking up)
Dumb, dumb.
Action.
John Carver.
Cut!
That was great, Alice.
That was really great.
Now, listen, in our next scene,
we'll first see the Indians.
Indians?
Do you guys know what
you're supposed to do?
We att*ck the fort.
Yeah. att*ck the fort.
No. You're friendly Indians.
You come in peace.
We don't att*ck?
No. Now, Alice...
Couldn't we att*ck the fort
and then make friends?
Greg does not want an att*ck.
Then what do you
need Indians for?
Dad?
Bobby, the Indians
were friendly at first.
They didn't start fighting
until their land was taken away.
You mean, the Pilgrims took
away all the Indians' land?
That's right.
At first, they didn't
take much of it.
Then how about not
much of an att*ck?
There's no att*ck!
Alice... when they
first come over
you don't know
they're friendly or not
until they hold up
the "friendly" sign.
Check, check. And then I
duck out and make my change
while the rest of the
Pilgrims greet them.
That's it. Great!
Okay, places, everyone!
Mom, mom, over here.
Yeah, the butter, right?
You'll be with
the butter, right...
Up and down, churning it...
And, Dad, you're
chopping the wood,
and try not to look conspicuous.
Okay, everybody ready?
And... action!
Now you see the Indians.
Now you see they're friendly.
Come on, Indians, come on.
How!
Me Samoset!
Me Squanto!
Oh, I say, I'm awfully
glad to see you.
Governor John
Carver here... Pilgrim.
I say, everyone,
they're friendly Indians.
Bring them beads and trinkets.
CAROL: How, friendly Indians!
( all saying "How.")
CAROL: Oh, nice feathers!
( all talking at once)
Oh, I say, look at all
the friendly Indians!
Cut!
( laughing)
What did I do wrong?
Oh!
That's what I did wrong.
Okay, now, this is
the hard winter
scene, with the snow.
Peter, stop the snow.
Don't start the
snow till I say "snow."
PETER: I was just
showing them. Isn't it neat?
( all agree)
Now, everybody pay attention.
Will you pay
attention to me? Sure.
JAN: We are, Greg!
Now, come on, really.
Now, when this thing starts...
Say! What are these?
BOBBY: They're corn flakes.
White corn flakes?
We sprayed white paint on them.
A dozen boxes.
And a couple of bags
of mashed potato flakes.
Corn flakes and
mashed potato flakes?
That's an expensive snowstorm.
Pretty fattening, too.
Come on, everybody,
pay attention!
All right, now, it
snows, and... Not yet!
You said "snow"!
But I didn't mean "snow." I...
All right, look...
All right, now, when this starts
the Pilgrims are standing
around the stockade.
Yeah. Right.
Now, you're all unhappy.
You're wondering
why you ever came
to this new world. Yeah.
Oh, and, Dad,
you're in the stocks.
Me in the stocks?
What'd I do to deserve
to be in the stocks?
You stole food. Shamey, shamey,
shamey! All right, come on now,
The rest of you...
You're all going to look cold
and miserable and hungry.
Why don't we just
eat the snowflakes?
Dad, this is supposed
to be serious.
That reminds me. I've
got lunch in the oven.
Oh, good.
What's for lunch, Alice?
Spaghetti and
meatballs. Let's start here.
Oh, boy! Yummy!
KIDS: Mmm!
Come on, everybody,
let's get on with the show!
GREG: Peter!
Will you stop the snow?
Didn't you say "snow"?
I said "show."
Oh, boy!
Greg, calm down.
What's wrong?
I'm trying to make a movie, Dad.
Everybody wants
lunch, except this guy.
He wants snow.
I said it. I shouldn't
have said it!
I knew it, but I did.
Peter!
Hold the snow!
But Greg said...
Never mind. Hold it!
Um...
look, Greg, this has
been a long morning,
so couldn't we
just do this scene
and then maybe break for lunch?
Everybody take
their places, all right?
Dad, you're in the stocks.
Mom, help him in
there, would you, please?
Sure. Okay.
Now remember, I want you
to be cold and miserable...
Yeah, we know. Cold,
miserable and hungry.
And don't start
till I say, "action."
Okay, now, get
ready, here we go.
And action!
( shivering)
Oh, I'm miserable.
( shivering)
( moaning and groaning)
GREG: All right, snow!
Peter... snow!
( shivering)
GREG: Snow!
It's stuck.
Well, fix it!
( groaning)
MIKE: Well, it's
really finished.
You know, I never thought
I'd see this day arrive.
CAROL: Oh, I
think this is great.
Greg made titles, and
even put his voice on tape.
Okay, are we ready?
ALL: Yes.
Peter, get the lights.
CAROL: Hurry up. And, kids,
please don't get in
front of the screen.
Hold everything!
You can't have a
movie without popcorn.
CAROL: Oh, Alice,
you think of everything.
MIKE: Did you salt it?
Watch it! Hey!
GREG: Bobby, sit down.
CAROL: Yeah,
stay in your chairs.
Bobby!
I'm sorry.
Here we go.
GREG: Wait till you hear
the narration and
music I recorded.
( dramatic music playing)
( cheering and applause)
GREG ( on film): It was
September the th, in the year
that the Pilgrims set sail
from England for Virginia.
MIKE: Say, that
looks pretty good.
ALICE: That looks real!
GREG ( on film):
They missed Virginia
because, in the middle of the
Atlantic, they ran into storms.
CAROL: Aah!
MIKE: Quite a
mishap for the Pilgrims!
GREG ( on film): But they
persevered and sailed on,
and finally they made
it to the New World.
And, on a stormy day, they
first set foot on Plymouth Rock.
( laughing)
December came,
and it was very cold.
Why are we walking so funny?
It's slow motion.
That's very effective,
you know that?
GREG: I put in
some special effects
like in those real arty movies.
GREG ( on film): And they didn't
have much shelter, so they got sick.
( no audio)
CAROL ( chuckling):
Oh, would you say
I overacted a little?
Oh, well! Yeah!
MIKE: Honey, you're
my favorite ham.
And then came a
terrible snowstorm.
MIKE: Just call
me "quiver lips."
ALICE: I'm quivering
right back at you.
( laughing)
They got even sicker...
and sicker... and
sicker... and sicker...
and sicker.
( laughing)
Finally spring came,
and so did the Indians...
and so did the Indians.
Squanto and Samoset.
CAROL: Yup. How! How!
The Indians amazed the
Pilgrims by speaking some English.
And the Pilgrims made
friends with the Indians,
and invited them to a feast.
Alice, you know what?
I think I like you
better as Alice.
Thank you.
First they gave thanks for
safely reaching the New World.
Then they ate...
and ate, and ate, and
ate, and ate and ate.
You look like Henry VIII.
I ate enough turkey.
( laughter)
Then, one day,
it was time for the Mayflower
to sail back to England.
Captain Jones asked the
Pilgrims who had survived
if any wanted to
go back with him.
Not one of them did.
He reminded them of
the storms and the Indians.
( no audio)
But they wouldn't
go, so he split.
Sails into the sunset.
GREG ( on film): And
the Mayflower sailed,
leaving the Pilgrims
to build a new country...
which they did.
( "Yankee Doodle" playing)
Hooray!
( cheering)
Hooray!
Good. That's very good.
That was great.
Yay! Yay!
Mom? Dad?
What is it, Greg?
What's going on?
That groovy history teacher
gave me an "A" for the movie.
Congratulations. That's great.
She must have liked it, huh?
Well, she didn't think
it was a great movie,
but she sure thought
I showed how tough
it was to be a Pilgrim.
( laughing)
Hi, Mom, Dad.
Hi, honey. Hi, Gregory.
Dad? Something
on your mind, son?
We're studying the
American Revolution now.
Hey, that's a very
interesting time.
Yeah. Hey, listen,
I was thinking...
Now, if we hung a
lantern on top of the roof,
it could look like the
Old North Church.
You mean a movie
about Paul Revere?
And the backyard... it could
become the Green at Concord.
Wait a minute, Greg.
And the front porch would
make a great Boston Harbor,
and I could put a
lighthouse in it...
Well, honey, I guess
if he could film the
Pilgrims at Plymouth,
certainly he can film
the ride of Paul Revere.
I know, but what
happens next term?
What?
When we have to stage
the whole Civil w*r.
Oh, bite your tongue.