♪ Here's the story ♪
♪ Of a lovely lady ♪
♪ Who was bringing up ♪
♪ Three very lovely girls ♪
♪ All of them had hair of gold ♪
♪ Like their mother ♪
♪ The youngest one in curls ♪
♪ It's the story of a
man named Brady ♪
♪ Who was busy with
three boys of his own ♪
♪ They were four
men living all together ♪
♪ Yet they were all alone ♪
♪ Till the one day when
the lady met this fellow ♪
♪ And they knew that it was
much more than a hunch ♪
♪ That this group must
somehow form a family ♪
♪ That's the way we all
became the Brady Bunch ♪
♪ The Brady Bunch ♪
♪ The Brady Bunch ♪
♪ That's the way we
became the Brady Bunch. ♪
( vacuum whirring loudly)
Alice!
Alice!
( humming)
Alice! ( yelps)
I'm sorry, did I scare
you? ( turns off vacuum)
No, no, I always jump like that
when I vacuum the living room.
Listen, Alice, Mom and Dad
must have told you something
about the surprise.
All they said was, they were
bringing home a big surprise,
and we'd all get to see
it when they get here.
Alice, Alice.
Listen, if you give
me a little hint,
I'll tell you a big secret.
Honey, I really don't know
what it is. Honest.
Look... please do me a favor,
go tell your
brothers and sisters
not to bother to try pumping me.
The well is dry.
Alice?
( humming)
Alice.
Uh... oh.
Sorry, Alice.
That's all right.
I've just got to learn
to be more touchable.
We finally got home.
And just in the
nick of time, too.
Something wrong?
Yes, there certainly is.
You have got six children
and one housekeeper
dying of a disease
called curiosity.
Well, I got just
the cure for that.
Hey, kids, come on down!
Marcia, Greg?
Care to give me a little hint?
Not particularly.
BOBBY: Here we come.
What is it, Dad?
( kids all talking excitedly)
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
Yes, it's for all of you.
The surprise is for
the whole family,
and if you'll hold it
down to a little roar,
I'm going to show you.
Come on. Come on, over here.
All of you, look out
the window there.
Alice, you, too.
We're going to
see the big surprise.
Voilà... the surprise.
( all exclaim)
JAN: It's a trailer!
PETER: It's the big,
folding-down kind.
( all talking at once)
Hey, hey.
We're all going to
go on a great, big trip
to Grand Canyon.
( kids squeal and shout)
MIKE: Uh, Greg, listen.
I want you to open
all these bags up
and make sure they're
in good condition, okay?
Okay, Dad.
Gee, I can't wait
to get started.
Grand Canyon, wow!
Well, it's not just
the canyon, Bob.
We can learn all about
the Indian tribes
that live there...
Like the Havasupai, the
Hopi, Hualapai, Navajo.
How'd they get
such strange names?
Well, each name
means something, Pete.
Like "Havasupai" for instance,
means "Great people of
blue-green running water."
How about my name, Dad,
does "Bobby" mean anything?
Yeah.
It means "Little man
with great, big, running mouth."
Hey, hey, come on, come on.
Hey, hey, come on.
Let's get a little
work done "hyar."
Gee, I can't wait to get there.
Yeah. It must
really be beautiful.
I want to meet the Indians
and see the cabooses.
That's "papooses."
A caboose is the
back end of a train.
Oh. I thought it was the
back end of an Indian.
( laughing)
How's it going, girls?
Fine. We're just
finishing packing.
Good... now, mostly
sweaters and jeans.
And remember, we leave
bright and early in the morning.
Can we go down to the
bottom of the canyon, too, Mom?
Sure, that's the most
exciting part of the trip.
One mile, straight down.
Wow.
How will we get down there?
Well, that's what
makes it exciting.
We ride down by mule train.
Oh, good!
( chuckling): Boy.
What's so funny?
Can you see Alice on a mule?
She won't even ride on
the merry-go-round with me.
Listen, girls, uh, I
think we better wait
for the best
psychological moment
to tell Alice about the mule.
When is that?
When she's sitting on it.
Okay, kids, you all set?
Come on, load up.
Everybody in.
( all giggling and chatting)
Uh... hey, hey!
Listen, one last check.
Now, are you sure
that you've taken care
of every detail that
you're supposed to?
KIDS: Yes!
Are you positive that you
haven't forgotten anything?
( all talking at once)
Okay.
Grand Canyon, here we come.
♪ Row, row, row your boat
gently down the stream ♪
♪ Merrily, merrily,
merrily, merrily ♪
♪ Merrily, merrily,
merrily, merrily ♪
♪ Life is but a dream ♪
♪ Merrily, merrily, merrily ♪
♪ Merrily, merrily,
merrily, merrily ♪
♪ Merrily, merrily,
merrily, merrily ♪
♪ Life is but a dream ♪
♪ Row, row, row your boat
gently down the stream... ♪
Kids, listen, no dallying,
'cause I want to make
that trailer camp by nightfall.
Howdy. Want to fill 'er up, sir?
Yeah, we got a long
way to go, thanks. Good.
Hey, mister, where is the...?
It's right up the stairs
there, little buddy.
Hey, mister... Got one
up there for you, too.
Where are y'all
folks headed for?
Grand Canyon.
Boy, that place
sure gets crowded
this time of year. Yeah.
Even the squirrels
need reservations.
( laughing)
Don't you get it?
Even the squirrels...
Yeah, we get it.
But we'll be camping out. I see.
Listen, is there
anything interesting
to see around this area?
No, not too much,
outside of Cactus Creek.
Cactus Creek?
Yeah, used to be a
big gold boom there.
Ain't nothing but an
old ghost town now.
Been deserted for years.
Ghost town! Hey Dad,
why don't we stop by...?
( kids all talking excitedly)
How far is this Cactus Creek?
Well, see, straight
down the highway,
first dirt road
turnoff, make a left,
go about miles.
Oh, gee, we'd never make
the trailer camp by nightfall.
Why don't we camp out
at the ghost town instead?
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
Yeah, may we?
What do you think, honey?
Well, if that's what
everybody wants,
it's okay with me. Oh, good.
Okay, ghost town it is.
Come on, pile in.
In you go.
Don't spill that.
Come on.
Well, let's see.
With the drinks,
that'll be $ . , sir.
Okay.
Cash money, if you don't mind.
Let's see, six... Six... right.
Um, fifty. There we go.
Thank you. Thank you.
I appreciate the business.
All right, you kids,
now, don't let
old ghost get you.
( laughs)
So long now.
Bye-bye. Have a good time.
( tires squeal)
Alice!
( Alice shouts)
I thought I heard you drive off.
♪ Hail, hail, the
g*ng's all here ♪
♪ What the heck do we care? ♪
♪ What the heck do we care? ♪
♪ Hail, hail, the
g*ng's all here ♪
♪ What the heck
do we care now? ♪
♪ Hail, hail the g*ng's all... ♪
( wind whistling)
Wow, what a neat place!
BOBBY: Boy, this
is going to be fun.
MARCIA: Yeah.
CINDY: Can we go
look around, Daddy?
No, first we have
to set up camp.
Come on, on the double,
everybody pitches in.
Sure is a neat old ghost town.
I don't like that
word, "ghost town."
I bet we're the only ones
that ever camped
out in a ghost town.
Hey, look!
Stand by it, and I'll
take a picture of you.
I got a better idea.
We'll make a movie...
The Great Stagecoach Robbery.
Who's gonna be the crook?
You.
You got shifty eyes.
Marcia, Jan, Cindy!
Yeah?
You want to be in a movie?
The Great Stagecoach Robbery.
GIRLS: Yeah,
sure, that'd be fun!
I want to be the
stagecoach driver.
Okay, Bobby, climb up.
Peter, you're the
crook, right? Right.
That's 'cause he
got shifty eyes.
You're going to be
the first guy I sh**t.
Come on, you guys,
let's start the robbery.
Okay. Marcia, can
I borrow your scarf?
Sure.
Marcia, so you be
the new schoolmarm
that's coming in to town.
And Jan and Cindy...
two dance hall girls
coming to work in the saloon.
Okay. Okay.
( singing a tune)
GREG: All right, all right.
Come on, get up
into the stagecoach.
Come on. Come on, Cindy.
Everybody up.
Listen, stick your
heads out the window.
We just get up
here and sit in, right?
Yeah, right. CINDY: Oh, neato.
( girls giggling)
Listen, when I
say "action," Peter,
you run in on your
horse and stick them up.
Okay? Okay.
All right, everybody?
Action.
Whoa. Stick 'em up.
Hands high!
Whoa!
Bobby, you're supposed
to protect the gold
and your passengers. Protest.
You can't hold us up!
Pow, pow! Pow, pow, pow!
You sh**t me again,
and I'm going to get mad.
Bobby, you're sh*t. Die.
I don't want to die yet.
I just started acting.
I said to die.
Okay.
Pow! Pow!
( groaning)
( gasping and
crying in distress)
( groaning dramatically)
Will you die already?
( grunts)
Okay, everyone out...
And make it quick.
( giggling)
Get their jewelry, Peter.
Give me all your jewelry!
Everything, see?
Dance hall girls, flirt with him
so he won't take your jewelry.
Hello, big boy.
You're kind of cute.
ALICE: Okay, kids...
Greg, Marcia, everybody!
( whistles)
( metallic rattling)
Chow time!
Come and get it!
( whistles)
Boy, that ought to raise
a few ghosts around here.
( chuckles)
We can finish the
robbery after we eat.
This is really great
chicken, Alice.
( all agreeing)
Anybody want seconds?
There's plenty of
fried chicken here.
ALL: Thanks!
It's all in my teeth.
Either my eyes are
playing tricks on me,
or that chicken leg got
up and walked away.
From the looks
of their equipment,
they plan to stay awhile.
Yes, sir, I wonder
how they heard
about my strike, huh?
Well, it won't happen again.
No, sir, I know just how
to outslick them slickers.
Put a big smile on
your face, Bessie...
And don't do nothing suspicious.
There you go.
( brays)
If this is a ghost town,
when do we get
to see the ghosts?
There aren't really
any ghosts, Cindy.
Absolutely. No ghosts.
No, they call it a ghost town
because that's
all that's left...
Just the memory
of what used to be.
Howdy, folks!
( surprised exclamations)
Well, now, I didn't
mean to frighten you.
I just wanted to welcome you.
Brown's my name... Zaccariah T.
Me and Bessie
want to welcome you
to Cactus Creek.
Thank you, Mr. Brown.
Brady's the name.
This is my wife
and family and Alice.
Hi. Hi. Hi.
GREG: Hi, Mr. Brown.
Yeah, smells like
you got a way with
chicken, ma'am.
I ain't eaten in three days.
There are crumbs
in your whiskers.
I ain't washed in
three days either.
Would you care to join us
in a bite, Mr. Brown?
Oh, yes... just to be friendly.
What do you do in these parts?
We don't often see strangers.
Well, we're just passing through
on our way to the Grand Canyon.
We're going to find some gold.
Kind of figured that, young man.
Were you here during the
big gold boom, Mr. Brown?
Well, my granddaddy,
he made the first strike,
and then he built this town.
I tell you, the
stories I could tell you
that would keep you bug-eyed.
ALL: Tell us, please!
We really would love
to hear some, Mr. Brown.
Well, I might be able to
if I had the right kind
of encouragement.
Alice, do we have any
encouragement left there?
He's got a choice.
Would you like to be
encouraged by the neck
or the part that goes
over the fence last?
Never could make decisions.
I'll take both kinds.
This whole thing belonged
to my granddaddy.
Now, this here this is
the blacksmith shop.
Smithy named Murphy.
Strongest man I ever saw.
He used to pick up a
horse under one arm
and he would shoe
it with the other.
You wouldn't kid a man,
would you, Mr. Brown?
Oh, no, no, no.
Terrible thing about Murphy.
He got k*lled
holding up a train.
Did he get sh*t?
No, he held it up
as long as he could,
and it fell on him.
He landed on his caboose!
How do you like that?
Let's go on over here.
Now, this here is
what you might call
the business center.
I tell you, uh, fancy
people in carriages.
Oh, it was really something
back in the old days.
ALICE: Is this the saloon
where you used to whoop it up?
What, the saloon?
Oh, yeah, we had some
real window-rattlers in there.
I tell you, the boys
would come down from
the hills with a bag of gold
drinking, sh**ting and gambling.
Drinking, sh**ting and gambling.
Except on Sunday... no gambling.
Oh, that's really very
touching, Mr. Brown.
I'll tell you something
very few folks know.
Kind of a crooked
poker game in there...
Jesse James went to jail
for the first time in his life.
Jesse James?!
Yes, sir, the one and
only Jesse James.
I didn't know Jesse James
was ever in this
part of the country.
Mr. Brady, you
going to believe me
or those phony history books?
I can prove it.
You just follow me,
and I'll show you.
Come on, follow me, let's go.
Yes, sir, you can't
believe everything you read
in them history books.
Learn the Old West
from one who knows it.
I knew a girl
who lived in there.
Yes, sir, Jesse James.
And I'll tell you
something: I can prove it.
Absolutely.
Jesse James carved his initials
right in the wall
of this here jail.
Can we see it?
Course you can see it.
Here's your proof...
here you are,
right in here, yeah.
Over in that cell, that's
where you'll see the proof.
You think I don't know
what I'm talking about.
Right in the cell
there, that's right.
Oh, go look on the wall.
Go right over there to the cot.
We don't see anything.
No, of course, it's over
in the lower left corner.
Now, all of you,
move the cot, that's it.
( cackles)
Hey, what are you doing?
What am I doing?
I'm stopping you slickers
from stealing my claim,
that's what I'm doing!
What claim?
What claim? Gold claim.
We don't want any gold.
Sure we do, Dad.
Bobby.
I'll take his word for it.
Look, Mr. Brown,
I can assure you
we have no interest...
Figured you can put one over
on Zaccariah T. Brown, did you?
Well, you got
another think coming.
You have to get up early
in the morning every...
( cackles): I got you
there; you better believe it.
( exclaiming)
Hey, he's taking the
car and the trailer!
MIKE: Hey!
Mike, do something!
It's all right, honey.
I'm sure we can
break out of here.
These bars must be
rusted halfway through.
Okay, all right, just watch.
Watch out, kids.
Careful.
Wow, that's pretty strong rust.
Honey, what are we going to do?
There must be a way out.
Hey, Dad, think we
could use the key?
What key?
The one hanging on the post.
I just noticed it.
I thought that nutty old
prospector took the key.
MIKE: He did; I saw him take it.
There's two of 'em...
One for the sheriff
and one for the deputy.
Oh?
Sure, that's the way
it always is in Westerns.
Well, that's it, then.
All we have to do
is get... the key.
I've seen a lot of
cowboy movies.
All we have to do
is wait for our g*ng
to ride into town
and bust us out.
Oh, Bob. We don't have
a g*ng, dumb-dumb.
Hey, wait a second.
I once saw a Western
where a guy was in jail.
He went over to the window
and whistled for his horse.
( whistling)
He's off again.
He took the rope off the saddle
and made a great big lasso.
He went over to the bars,
and he tied it on.
Hey, wait a minute! What?
I think I got it!
What? Who's got a belt?
Well, I do, but what
do you want a belt for?
To make a rope.
If you can rope a
steer or a horse,
why not a key, huh?
Come on, Dad. Higher.
( disappointed groans)
Okay.
( disappointed groans)
All right, I-I think I've
got a way this time.
CAROL: Yeah, that's...
Okay.
( exclaiming)
( chattering excitedly)
( disappointed groans)
Well, we'll have
to go to plan "B."
What's plan "B"?
CAROL: Aw!
CAROL: Oh!
( exclaiming)
Okay, now for the big g*ns.
Wow!
CAROL: Keep
your fingers crossed.
Oh, please.
( groaning)
( cheering)
Okay, okay!
Now we're going to
put those socks to use.
CAROL: Boy, it's a good
thing I had my purse with me.
Hon, take your time.
MIKE: Hey!
That's good, right there.
Okay...
Come on.
Easy. That's it, that's it.
Easy, easy.
Come on, come on.
MIKE: Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
That's it, come on.
( cheering)
Hey, kids, come here. Hey, kids.
We're free,
but we're still stranded
here, remember?
Honey, I'm going to try to
walk down to the main road
to see if I can't flag
somebody down.
Mike, that's miles from here.
Well, I can't think
of any other way.
Besides, if it gets too
hot, I'll rest during the day
and walk at night.
Well, I don't
like the idea of it.
I guess you're right.
Can I go with you, Dad?
You always say nobody
should hike alone.
Greg, I need a
man to stay behind
to watch out for the others,
and I'm kind of counting on
you to do that for me, okay?
Yeah, all right.
Then can I go, Dad?
You think you're up to it?
I sure am.
Okay.
I'll get you some
canteens of water.
We'll be waiting,
and you be careful.
I wonder if they've
reached the highway yet.
How long have they
been gone, anyway?
minutes.
My, how time flies
when you're having fun.
CAROL: No water, no food.
What if Mike and Peter
can't make it to the highway?
What's going to
happen to them...
To all of us?
ANNOUNCER: Don't miss
Part Two of the exciting
Brady Bunch Grand
Canyon adventure
next week at this same time.