04x03 - Closure

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Survivor's Remorse". Aired: October 2014 to October 2017.*
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"Survivor's Remorse" revolves around a young basketball player and his family as he experiences the rewards and pitfalls of sudden stardom when he signs with a pro team in Atlanta.
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04x03 - Closure

Post by bunniefuu »

I wrote a few times early on.

Did you save any of them?

I mean, have you forgotten
about where we come from?

We got evicted in the
middle of a f*cking blizzard.

I think this is what you came here for.

- Holy sh*t.
- I am not interested

in you telling me that you're sorry

for all the stuff you once
did, not once, but many times.

Can't believe how much
this neighborhood's changed.

Gentrification, dude.

I wish I would have bought
some apartments back in the day.

We had no money back in the day.

Ah, now you do. You do the
investing, I do the flipping.

I didn't tell him I called
you, so he might not be pleased.

- The f*ck did I tell you?
- Reggie, the hospital called me.

What? You'll stay with us tonight.

I gotta know how my
uncle had my dads k*lled.

There were three of them,
two brothers, their cousin.

I wonder if when Uncle Julius
called those g*ons on you,

you said, "Sorry."

I thought it would feel better.

- Pook?
- Yeah?

This might sound kinda messed
up, but I think I'm hungry.

- Makes sense.
- No. [EXHALES SHARPLY]

It's disturbing. I'm in a cemetery.

I just told three dead
teenage rapists to f*ck off.

Now I'm hungry? It don't make sense.

"Sense" don't gotta be
in play. Hungry's hungry.

Guess it's its own thing unto itself.

Don't gotta make sense
juxtaposed with something else.

Nope.

Probably not a lot of test
cases for this situation like,

you know, "likelihood
of appetite spiking

after visiting r*pe dads' graves."

Probably not written down and
available for comparative purposes.

Maybe since all I've been thinking about

before I showed up at your door

was tracking down what
we just tracked down,

my mind forgot about food,

but now that it's done, I'm hungry. You?

- I could eat.
- I don't want to force you.

Don't gotta. I eat
with no encouragement.

Just been trying not to eat
after sundown or standing up.

We'd be sitting down. You
could eat something light.

Just makes it worse. Sitting
down to eat and not really eating?

How'd Uncle J have them k*lled?

"How" don't matter. "Why" does.

Man, I hope one day I got
a secret I need you to keep.

All right, uh, bathroom's to the right.

Linens should be clean.

Been a while since we had a guest.

- It's all good.
- T-shirt and shorts for sleeping.

- Thank you.
- And, uh,

toothpaste and brush
both from Missy, new.

- Thank her for me.
- Oh, she'll be thanking you.

She stocks this sh*t
for occasions like this.

Not occasions like this, exactly, but...

- I get it.
- You wake up early,

there's coffee and a bunch
of other sh*t in the kitchen.

Have at it. I'm sleeping in.

- How's your head?
- It f*cking hurts.

Hurts bad. Like a bottle
was f*cking smashed on it.

Good night.

[PHONE CHIMES]

[PHONE TRILLING]

- Hey.
- Sorry, go back to bed.

I'm in bed. You mean go back to sleep?

Yes, go back to sleep.

ALLISON: You texted, I
called, and now that I'm awake,

you want me to go back to sleep?

And I will as soon as you
tell me why you texted.

Or at least after you ask
me to show you a body part.

CAM: Sorry I woke you back up.

I just wanted to read you another
one if you want to hear it.

I want to hear whatever
you want to share.

I don't have to read
it, I just, you know,

my head's spinning right now.

ALLISON: No, no. What did he write?

This, that. He was sorry that he
was in the situation he was in.

You know, sorry he didn't
write me more when I was younger

or send me Christmas presents or

have his mom come by and
try to get to know me.

That he was trying not to be a cliché,

even though he was in so many ways,

all of which he took
responsibility for being.

That he loved me even
though he didn't know me.

These letters are him
trying to get to know me.

Or at least have me get to know him.

You know, it's like a mid-life
reversal of my entire life.

You know what? I don't blame my mother.

I get why she didn't... like,
I get why she hid them away.

I blame the f*cking
landlord who evicted us

in the middle of a f*cking blizzard

so she couldn't even get up on
a ladder to get these letters.

Like God damn, it's all
so f*cking unnecessary.

It's all so f*cking sad.

I feel so bad that I never
got these and knew this,

or that I had this impression
of him that was not accurate.

Nobody told you, and
you're not a psychic.

Still.

ALLISON: Yeah, babe, it's f*cked up.

Yeah, that's exactly what
it is. It's f*cked up.

He's just sitting in there,
years rolling by, life in ruin.

My blood, my flesh and blood.

And all this time, I could
have been, you know, connecting.

Do you want me to fly up there?

I've got frequent flyer miles
saved for this kind of emergency.

You're not cashing in
frequent flyer miles.

If I need you here,
I'll buy you a ticket.

I don't want you to worry about me.

Pretty much the only person
I'm not worried about is you.

I ju... I gotta just...

I'm gonna go back to the
prison in the morning.

I gotta just try and
get through tomorrow.

I don't know if he even
want to see me again.

He will.

I wish I was there to hug you.

- Me too.
- And then I'd give you some head.

Hey. [LAUGHING]

There's a non sequitur!

ALLISON: Are you smiling?

No, I'm not smiling.

Actually I'm more sad now

'cause you're not actually
here to give me head.

Damn, now I'm all distracted.

Good. Well, get some rest.

I don't even know what to say
to him tomorrow about all this.

Start with, "Thanks for writing,"

and then go from there.

- I love you.
- I love you, too.

[SIGHS]

I could teach you how to swim.

I'm fine being a stereotype.
Too old to learn now.

If you didn't want to learn,
you wouldn't have brought it up.

- I didn't bring it up.
- You did.

You asked me if I knew how to swim.

- Don't change the subject.
- I'm not a water person.

'Cause you're afraid of drowning.

Who's not afraid of drowning?

Drowning is a horrible way to go.

But you know who don't drown?

People who stay out of the water.

You know who do? People
who go in the water.

You're sitting there eating a salad.

You forced me to.

Got nothing to do with swimming.

Does so. You keep eating
healthy, you're gonna live longer.

The longer you live,
the more the oceans rise.

The more the oceans rise, the
more we're surrounded by water.

- Jury's still out.
- Pook, the permafrost is melting.

When something that's defined

as permanently frosted
is rapidly defrosting,

- pay heed.
- It's degrees in May.

And you can see your breath outside.

At least learn how to tread water.

How you doing?

Thought I'd feel better.

Thought if I went there
and put eyes on it,

in the same physical
space as the dead bodies

and told them to f*ck off,
it would be like some kind of,

I don't know, some kind of ritual

that would bring more of a resolution.

- More closure.
- It will eventually.

You know the best part about
being here with you right now?

I don't want to have sex with you.

I have that effect on lesbians.

I'm just saying one of the things
I've been working on in therapy,

or what I'm trying to work on and
haven't consistently succeeded at,

is whenever I'm faced
with any kind of stress,

I look to release it with sex.

Something about the
endorphins engaged via sex

is the drug I rely on
for mental peace of mind.

- That's normal.
- No.

Deep breaths, counting
to ten, going for a run,

chanting, smoking a
joint, that's normal.

Not getting on Tinder when
you feel discombobulated

looking for a random chick whose
face you can bury in your crotch.

I mean, sure it works temporarily,

but it's not a constructive
solve for the long term.

Being here with you, a friend
who's just allowing me to...

just process stress...

is unusual, but good.

It's grounding me,

so I don't just feel like
escaping stress with distraction.

That's a virgin experience for me.

Thanks.

[SIGHS]

Maybe once I get closure, I won't
even have these random sex urges.

Maybe it'll be like a
big giant wound closing.

Maybe that's why they call it closure.

Maybe deep down I don't even
want closure. Anguish fuels me.

Even if it does,

maybe anguish just begets more anguish.

Maybe unhappiness is just a disease.

There you go.

We need to be heading out of here

if I'm gonna get us home in one piece.

Cool, but I'm paying.

You ate nothing. I get to treat.

I'ma hit the bathroom.

- Pook?
- POOKIE: Yeah?

I gave him the toothbrush.

He sends his thanks.

How you doing?

It was a bad night, Missy.

It was a very bad night. [SIGHS]

And it was all my fault.

Why don't we just do what you
said earlier and sleep it off?

See how we feel tomorrow.

Missy, I never should
have gotten in the car.

I never should have drove to that diner.

You never would have gone to see him

if I hadn't put the
photo on the punching bag.

Yeah, you know, you
just... you were concerned.

[SIGHS]

You didn't want to talk about him,

I chose to ignore that. I meddled.

Yeah, but you're my wife, are you not?

It ain't meddling if you're the wife.

It's just... it's just living.

- It's a fine line.
- Yeah, well...

I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I
said I was just going on a drive

when I knew where I was
going. That was a lie.

I understand why you said that.

I... pushed you to open up.

Oh, I opened up. Oh, I opened up.

I opened up on him, and then I
had my head opened up by Trenay.

- Trenay?
- Yes, Trenay. She was a girl at the fight.

Trenay was very vocal, and
she was very rambunctious.

Listen, Missy...

this was all my fault.

Okay?

And I knew better.

Maybe I, uh, you know,
I may not be made of or...

I may be incapable of...

all that you deserve.

You're everything I want.

And you're everything I need.

And it may not be true.

It is. I was meant to be your wife.

And you were meant to be my husband.

We... we are a... a pair, a twosome,

an example of all the good
in the world right here.

You are, despite whatever
trauma you have been through,

the man you are, and I love...

I love who you are. All of you.

All that's tried to undo you,

and all that you have
accomplished since.

That's just it, see? 'Cause
things happened to me.

The man downstairs
with the nice comforter

that you bought at
Restoration Hardware...

- Uh, Pottery Barn.
- This...

Okay, the man with the... the
comforter from Pottery Barn,

see, was of no comfort.

Even tonight, even after
everything that's happened,

when I lay my head on the pillow,

a small part of me will be
thinking that Trent Vaughn

is under my roof, and, Missy,

I ain't absolutely certain

that I won't be woke up
at : in the morning

by a punch to the face and
a taste of my own blood,

and open my eyes to some, you know,

drunk and enraged man
trying to b*at up his son.

Even now, you want to know
what I'm asking myself?

Where in this house is the liquor?

And why didn't I lock it up?

So what I am saying to you,

or what I'm trying to say to you,

is that I may be, uh,

what's the... what's
the word I'm looking for?

Overcompensating...

for that lack of comfort.

I may be trying to make this life

a life that I ain't built for.

It's one you deserve, but it may be one

that I am incapable
of providing for you.

He is not you,

and you are not him.

Missy, I got a lot of unresolved sh*t.

And you can resolve it.

You are... you are starting
to resolve it right now.

All right, listen.

What if I am simply incapable

of delivering to you a happy life?

Like, what if I'm so damaged and
I'm so wound tight due to that damage

that at the end of the day,
I can't be who I want to be?

The fact that you can sit
here and admit your fear

- proves that you are more than your doubts.
- Missy...

You are capable of being
the man you want to be.

We all have doubts and questions, okay?

But living... living is
about building a life that...

that might deliver the answers we want.

And we can search for
those answers together.

- Ow.
- Sorry.

[URINATING]

I hope you feel this in hell.

This is the kind of control that occurs

when a girl does her Kegels.

I don't know what those are.

Vaginal strengthening exercises.

Kinda like Crossfit for the vag*na.

That's good to know.

- Almost done.
- Almost? You're like a camel.

I drank a lot of coffee.

[GRUNTS]

[URINATING]

[GRUNTS]

I think I'm gonna need
that handkerchief again.

Copy that.

[EXHALES SHARPLY]

My sphincter control
could use some work.

Maybe it was just the diner food.

Either way.

Closure.

[DISCO MUSIC PLAYING]

♪ Baby, please ♪

♪ Baby, please ♪

♪ Please don't take your love from me ♪

♪ Please don't take your love from me ♪

♪ I am yours forever more ♪

♪ Ever more ♪

♪ Till eternity ♪

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

♪ Silently ♪

♪ So silently ♪

♪ Listen to the words I say ♪

♪ Listen to the words I say ♪

♪ I'm not talking just for play ♪

♪ Just for play ♪

♪ Listen to me, please ♪

- POOKIE: ♪ Won't you listen to me ♪
- Do it, Pookie.

♪ Heaven knows ♪

BOTH: ♪ It's not the way it should be ♪

♪ Heaven knows ♪

♪ It's not the way it could be ♪

♪ And don't you know ♪

♪ There's no need to leave ♪

♪ Heaven knows ♪

♪ It's not the way it should be ♪

♪ And Heaven knows ♪

♪ It's not the way it could be ♪

♪ Don't you know ♪

♪ There's no need to leave ♪

♪ Heaven knows ♪

♪ I never want to leave you ♪

♪ Heaven knows ♪

[PHONE VIBRATING]

Yo, fuckie, you ready to start
your real estate mogul journey?

Or are you still curled up in a ball
reading the prison daddy diaries?

[CHUCKLES] Yo, why are you
Facetiming me like you my girl?

Be happy I waste data on your bitch ass.

Now get me a chocolate
croissant and get your ass on.

About to start this house flipping sh*t.

Moguls, baby.

REGGIE: Hey, Allison, everything okay?

Hey, Reg, sorry to bother you.

No, not at all. What's going on?

- Is this a good time?
- REGGIE: Yeah.

- You sure?
- Hey, when I pick up, it's a good time.

When I don't pick up, ain't a good time.

Have you spoke to Cam
since he went to Boston?

I didn't know Cam went up to Boston.

ALLISON: Why wouldn't he tell you?

Well, either he didn't want me to know

or he didn't think I would care.

Allison, why is Cam in Boston?

- He went to visit his father.
- REGGIE: What?

- In prison.
- No, yeah, no.

That was more of a "what
the f*ck" kinda "what"

than a, you know, a regular "what."

He went yesterday. It didn't go great.

All this stuff about letters
sent and not received.

Don't tell him I told you.

Mm, yeah, sh*t.

And I don't want to overstep,
but I thought I should,

- so I did.
- Well, I appreciate it.

And thank you, Allison.

And you can tell him I called you.

You don't have to not
tell him. I just...

I want him to know that he's loved

and that people are there for him.

I'll tell him, and he knows,

but I will keep you posted.

Thank you, Allison. Yeah.

Did your father leave?

- Yeah, it seems so.
- You see this note?

- I did.
- What's it supposed to mean?

Well, it's not a cryptogram, Missy.

It's pretty straightforward stuff.

"Thanks, sorry. Headed north."

Polite and informative.

"I'd like to connect again.

- Reach out if you feel up to it."
- Ball's in my court.

How I like it. How it was
and how it should have stayed.

What about his hand?

Healthy enough to write
an abrupt thank you note.

You gonna call him?

Not right now. I got stuff going on.


Cam is in Boston going to
see his father in prison.

- What?
- Allison called. It's a whole thing.

I gotta pack. I gotta get up there
before sh*t goes off the rails.

f*cking fathers.

So we doing this or we doing it?

[CHUCKLES] I mean, is
that really a choice?

"We doing this or we doing it,"

that's like choosing one
thing over the same thing.

Yeah, by design. Always be closing.

I don't know anything about this.

- Come again?
- I see how it could work.

- There you go.
- But I have no idea where to start.

- Now, the beginning.
- No, I mean the steps.

Like, well, how do you do the steps?

- Dude.
- Yes, dude.

Look, there's a sign
that says "for sale."

- Right.
- Right? We buy the house.

We fix it up. We sell it
for more than we bought it.

Enjoy the money. Do the sh*t again.

[CHUCKLES] Ah-ha, okay.

Look, it's like the letters
from your pops in prison.

You called me asking if I knew
of anyone that knew the people

that had anything to do with
gentrifying the old apartment.

When you called me, you
called with hope and faith

that it would end in a
positive result, and it did.

- Am I right?
- I don't know anything about mortgages.

That's the beauty of being rich.

You don't need to know
sh*t about mortgages

when you buying something
outright in cash.

Dude, when you come to
things with hope and faith,

sometimes they work out.

All right, call 'em.

Yeah? You ain't playing, are you?

If you playing, that would be a
real kick in the d*ck right now.

Been through too many trials
and tribulations as of late

to be hit with mockery.

Look, call 'em.

You don't gotta ask Reggie?

No, I don't gotta ask Reggie, all right?

We're just starting
the steps and exploring.

I'll call Reggie when it's
time to bring Reggie in.

Right now, I need to get
to this prison, all right?

Visiting hours start in two hours.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Hey,
good luck with that, man.

- Don't get locked up in there.
- All right.

- Hey.
- Hey.

What time is it?

It's almost noon.

Wow.

Coffee?

With a sh*t of bourbon.

Yeah, I never thought I'd
dig therapy, but it helped.

I seen a documentary on Carl Jung.

Dude was smart. Individuation and sh*t.

Well, it helped me
see where my sh*t was.

Uncovered some stuff.

Stuff I didn't expect to uncover.

Wish I could afford it. Sounds
like everyone could use it.

It's like going to
the gym for your mind.

I'm actually feeling mentally fit

despite the public
defecation you just witnessed.

Can't witness something
when your head's turned away.

I could set you up with a good
mental trainer if you want.

Thanks, but nah.

Just saying people helped me.

My friend, Jimmy, let
me use his private plane

to come up here and do all this.

I could help you if you ever need it.

If I'm in a crisis, I'll let you know.

I know you got the Jesus
statue on the dashboard.

Just letting you know some things
you don't just gotta pray off.

I hear you.

Thinking about taking some
psychology courses next semester.

I'll check out Jung. And
some humanities courses.

I sorta gotta get straight with the
human mind. Get my head straight.

Your head is fine. Your
heart might need a little TLC.

Couldn't everyone's?

A lot of things happen in life,

unexpected things, unexpected sh*t.

Day-to-day human stuff has
a way of tripping people up,

even if they do therapy.

Mothers get r*ped.
Uncles get hit by cars.

Details of your fathers emerge.

Permafrost melts. Oceans rise.

Can't stop the oceans from
rising and rain from falling.

Hurricanes and earthquakes,
that's just the way things go.

Unfortunately.

But you can stop deciding
to define your life

through the filter of the things

that other people did to
result in you being here.

I've been trying to figure
things out a lot myself.

And have the faith that
things that I can't control

being controlled by a God who loves.

This an actual real God?

Yeah, I did some sh*t kept me in here

longer than I should have been here.

- It's all right. Things are looking up.
- Hmm.

Parole is always hanging
out there as a possibility.

- That's cool.
- I know, we'll see.

Hmm, I think of it sometimes
as an opportunity for the state

to get a man's hopes all up
so they can just dash them

with some ceremonial humiliation.

But thinking like that leads to despair.

I ain't trying to let despair
get a tighter grip on me

than it's already got.

Had a rough go in here
my first years in here.

Last few years been better.

Better as can go in here.

Actually the last few years
don't even feel like years.

Just felt like time.

Mm.

They gonna snatch me
back up in a few minutes.

Yeah.

Thank you for writing those letters.

I coulda wrote sooner.

I get why your mama didn't
want to show them to you.

She said that she felt
like I would commit a crime

so I could be in here with you.

She probably saw my genes at work.

- What's it like in here?
- It's f*cking horrible.

f*cking horrible.

- I'm sorry.
- [CHUCKLES]

All right, man.

Till next time.

Hope it won't be years from now.

[CHUCKLES]

How about tomorrow?

It's off-season.

Um, I'll be here.

[PHONE RINGING]

- CASSIE: Hey, Mary Charles.
- Hey, Ma.

Ah, I was just thinking about you.

Pookie give you what
you was looking for?

M-CHUCK: He did.

Mm. Do you need anything else from me?

Nah. Not right now.

I love you, Ma.

You know I love you.

I hope you know that now more than ever.

I do.

- Mary Charles?
- Yeah, Ma?

Well, uh, look, we all...

we all do what we gotta do.

And sometimes we don't
know if how we went about

what we did was correct.

You know, secrets and sh*t.

Things you admit, things you omit.

But you're a miracle,

and now you know just how much
of a miracle you really are.

So don't you take nothing else
away from this other than that.

The world is around the
corner, Mary Charles,

and when you get back to Atlanta,

turn that corner, baby.

All right, I... I gotta go.

I'll, um, I'll talk to you soon.

M-CHUCK: Okay, bye, Ma. Thanks.

REGGIE: Yo!

- What are you doing here?
- I'm just checking in.

- How... how did you...
- A little bird.

Gorgeous bird, smoky
voice, named Allison?

Maybe.

You all right?

I will be. It's a long story.

- I got time.
- [CHUCKLES]

Damn, what happened to you?

Ah, it's a long story.

- How'd you fly up?
- Called Chen, took Air Bao Two.

- Said I needed a favor.
- Mm, you owe him a favor now.

It's worth it.

[CHUCKLES] You hungry, man?

- Always.
- All right. Did you Uber up or you got a car?

I got a car.

Let me tip my driver.
I'll just ride with you.

- All right.
- [PHONE RINGING]

Hey, Mary Charles?

Hey, ain't Chen in Shanghai with Ma?

REGGIE: He is. His plane is in Boston.

I know. Uh, how do you know?

'Cause I'm looking right at one of 'em.

You in Boston?

Flaherty let me use his plane.

- What? Why?
- Long story.

We got too many rich friends.
Come, eat with me and your brother.

- M-CHUCK: Where?
- Boston.

- What the f*ck?
- Long story.

[HIP-HOP MUSIC]

♪ I'm on my grind shawty ♪

♪ Don't block my shine shawty ♪

♪ Hold up, hold up guess
who just showed up ♪

♪ Rolled up, rolls cut
drop with the doors up ♪

♪ I'm on my grind shawty ♪

♪ Don't block my shine shawty ♪

♪ Wait a minute wait a minute ♪

♪ Chill a little sit a minute ♪

♪ I can't close my safe no more ♪

♪ 'Cause I got too much money in it. ♪

♪ They put Gucci in a cell
then Madea went to jail ♪

♪ I make music, I make movies
I need Tyler Perry sales ♪

♪ Loud smell coming out the
Lamb', f*ck it what the hell ♪

♪ Gucci Mane, so I'm Guccied
down, she got on Chanel ♪

♪ In the cut rolling stupid
kush like I'm in a rush ♪

♪ In the club with half
a pound, blunts ♪

♪ Zone , East Atlanta's
own f*ck with Nia Long ♪

♪ So I shine like it's
showtime, all my jewelry on ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, ye... yeah ♪

A-town represent.

♪ Ho... hold up ♪

East Point, College Park.

Decatur.

Yeah.
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