04x02 - Happy New Year!

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Phineas and Ferb". Aired: August 2007 to November 2015.*
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Stepbrothers adventures during their summer vacation.
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04x02 - Happy New Year!

Post by bunniefuu »

Have fun at the party.

Thanks for having the
boys over tonight, Vivian.

Oh, no problem, Linda. I have
all the neighborhood kids tonight.

Come on, come on. I don't wanna be
late for my first grown-up party.

Heh. Okay, hon.
Bye, everyone! Happy New Year!

- Bye, guys!
- Goodbye.

All: Happy New Year!

But we can have still much fun.
We've got noisemakers, balloons, confetti.

And of course, we'll
all stay up till midnight

and watch the New Year's Eve ball drop.

Baljeet's already out.
Wake up, will you?

[groans] You're
drooling all over my arm.

You know, saliva is % water,

and the other % is made up of
very beneficial electrolytes.

It is gross, but it is science.

You're lucky the gross factor
outweighs the science factor,

or you'd have a one-way
ticket to wedgie town.

Well, it'll be fun to
finally see the ball drop.

Oh, it's a wonderful tradition.

And of course, there's
the other tradition

of kissing someone special at midnight.

Well, then, I know what
we're gonna do tonight.

- Really?
- Yeah. We're gonna make

our own New Year's ball and
drop it from outer space!

Your mother is right, Phineas. You
have such an active imagination.

[giggles]
Not active enough.

I'm going to make some hot chocolate.

You kids come on in
when you want to warm up.

Hey, where's your platypus?

Good morning, Agent P. Sorry about
the cold climate inside your lair.


See, the heating system is on the fritz,
and we had to call a guy in from Aruba.


But I can assure you that we
are all in the same boat here.


You're... you're not alone in this.
We are all sharing the pain.


[clears throat]
Awkward.


Race you to the Wet Ski!

Um, uh, Doof's doing
something at City Hall.


Put a stop to whatever it is.
Hey, Carl!


I get the blue one!
[groans]


Okay, Phineas!
We're good to go!


Great. Bring her down.

How's the soldering going up there?

- Ferb is almost done.
- How are you doing, Buford?

Why do I have to paint? Painting
is for babies and beatniks.

That's no ordinary paint.
It's a super-sealer that'll

protect us from the cold,
dark vacuum of space.

- Beatnik talk!
- Hey, Phineas. Mind if we see the inside?

No at all. Check it out.

A multi-level New Year's ball
with punch bowl sailing...


- Ahoy!
- Phineas: ...balloon room,

the bed of a thousand
coats, an Infinity Slide,


and through here, the Grand Ballroom.

In other words, a ball within a ball!

- [Irving yells] Irving?
- How do I get out of here?

Chorus: # Doofenshmirtz
Evil Incorporated! #


Norm: Happy New Year!

Norm, I told you, you don't
celebrate till midnight, not all day.

What if midnight never comes? Then
you've squandered a whole day celebrating.

You ever think of that,
tough guy? [glass breaks]

Doofenshmirtz: Perry the Platypus!

[laughs] It's a bottle of sparkling
cider trap, and you're the cork.

Which makes you Perry the Corkapus!

Ha ha, you got a funny name.
Anyway, it's New Year's themed.

- Happy New Year!
- Not yet, Norm.

Now what was my plan?
I recently learned

that in most of the world,
there is a tradition where people

decide to change something about
their lives in the coming year.

And they call it,
a New Year's resolution.

I had no idea. You see,
back in Drusselstein,

change was frowned upon.
Any change.

Uh, you couldn't change
the channel on your TV,


you couldn't change your underwear.

And forget about changing your hairstyle.
You'd... you'd end up in jail.


But here in the New World,
we embrace change!

Apparently. And that's why I came up
with the Resolution-Changer-Inator!

Cleverly disguised as a bow tie.

When I turn it on at
the stroke of midnight,

it will make everyone change their
resolution from whatever it was,

like, uh, you know, "I'm gonna lose
weight," or "Gain a limb" or whatever,

to "I'm going to make Heinz
Doofenshmirtz my leader...

and obey his every command!"

That will be their new resolution.

- All right, Norm, how do I look?
- Like a pharmacist in a bow tie!

Eh, good enough.
Time to go.

Doofenshmirtz: You're squandering, Norm.

Ready to get your party on, dear?

Do one-legged ducks swim in circles?

- Wow! First year with the adults!
- Yep. We're all grown up now.

No more pig tails, dollies,
or obsessing over boys.

From now on, we obsess
over men. [both giggle]

- And no more busting!
- Atta girl!

Yep, I'm sticking to my resolution
and turning over a new leaf.

Fifteen whole minutes, and I
haven't thought of Phineas and Ferb.

How they make those
things. You know, those

big, like, dangerous things they make...
[tense sound]

- Candace.
- Sorry! I'm back, I'm back.

Resolution kicking in.

- Oh, look, here come the boys!
- You mean men?

Ladies.
[both giggle]


That's us. We're ladies.

Norm: Carbonation is fun!

[party music playing]

Hello, Danville! Hey, you there.

What's your New Year's resolution?

- To update my mustache.
- That's what you think! [laughs]

I don't know, it seemed achievable.

This is so great,
being here as an adult.

[chuckles] Not like my
brothers, who are kids,

who are, who are probably
building something...

- Candace.
- ...something big.

- Candace.
- Big and bustable.

- Gotta go!
- Oh, no, you don't.

This is gonna be a New Year
with a new Candace, remember?

Gotta bust... [stutters]
gotta... gotta... bust...

It's okay, it's just a
temporary relapse. [mumbles]

Candace, Stacy told me about
your New Year's resolution.

I... I need a time out.
I'll be right back.

- Relapse?
- Relapse.

That's what you think.
[laughing]

Ah, it never stops being...
[gasps]

- Chorus: # Perry! #
- Perry the Platypus!

You can't come in here,
this is a black tie affair.

Chorus: # Perry again! #
[chattering]


Actually, I guess it... it doesn't
really specify pants anywhere,

so I guess you're okay.

Oh, another little tidbit
about the ancient Egyptians

is that both men
and women wore make up.

Just like the ' s.

[sputters] Hold it together, girl.
You can do this.

Hey, I thought your
New Year's resolution

was to stop eating
sandwiches in the bathroom.

But it's not midnight yet,
so I can still enjoy this.

"Not midnight yet?"
That's it!

I've actually got an hour
left to bust my brothers!

I've gotta find out what
they're doing. I'll get video.

[yells]

[screaming]

[grunts] Huh. That Parkour
training actually paid off.

All right, let's start
this bash in a ball!

All: Yay!

[panting]

Oh, no. I missed it!
And how am I gonna show mom?

No worries. I'm live blogging
the whole event on my podcast.

- We're trending right now.
- Right now?

Hey all of you in the internet land.

Watch closely, because I'm
gonna bust Phineas and Ferb.


[chuckles]

Uh, she never busts them.

And "internet land" is not a real place.

What is this, the coat room?

All right, Perry the Platypus, if
you really wanna fight, here I...


Ooh, cashmere. Nice.

[panting] Hey, Candace.
I got you a glass of sparkling cider.

Rain check! This is
my last time to bust!

- Serious relapse.
- Come on, Irving.

Yes! Everyone, can I have
your attention please?

My brothers and their friends
will be dropping from outer space

in that giant New Year's ball.

- That's fantastic!
- No, that's not fantastic.


It... Okay, well, I admit it's
impressive, but it's still bustable.

Mom!

If those were my boys,
they'd be so busted.

Please! Adopt me now!
[screams] Mom!

Okay, it's almost midnight.
Let's go!


[whooping]

[laughs] You'll never get
out of that straightjacket.

But why would anyone wear
that to a New Year's Eve party?

I guess maybe if you
were a magician, maybe...

One minute to midnight!

Time to launch my plan.

[chuckles wickedly]

[gasps]

Crowd: Ten!

Nine!

- Eight!
- Mom. Mom.


Seven!

Six!

Five!

Almost done!

Mom, it's New Year's!
This is no time for kissing!

Crowd: Three!
Two!


One!

Crowd: Happy New Year!

Now watch this. What is
everyone's New Year's resolution?

All: To follow you, Heinz
Doofenshmirtz, our new leader.


Mmm. So how does it feel to
be a loser, Perry the Platypus?

I mean, that's a rhetorical question.

Of course, if anyone should know
how it feels, it should be me, right?

Alright, everyone! Follow me!
We're taking over City Hall!

[crowd cheering]

Hello? What are you doing?

- Obey me!
- Crowd: No!

Hey, but what about your resolution?

Everyone knows that no one ever
keeps their New Year's resolution.

But that even doesn't make any sense!

Why would you make resolutions
if you're not ever gonna follow...

Did you know about this?
[music starts playing]

You did! You knew about this,

and you still punched
and kicked and pinched me.

Oh, I guess you're right.
That, that is what we do.

[buzzing]

Aw. Thank you, Perry the Platypus.

Happy New Year.

♪ You know it hasn't been glad ♪

♪ Or happy and sad
But I tell you I'm glad ♪


♪ When I think about
starting all over again ♪


♪ Yeah, I know where we've been ♪

♪ But I don't think about that ♪

♪ There was a moment,
but this is another ♪


♪ So we're not gonna cry
when we say goodbye ♪


♪ To the year that is quickly receding ♪

♪ We're not gonna look back ♪

♪ We know we're on the right track ♪

♪ And we all know that
time is fleeting ♪


♪ Time is fleeting ♪

♪ Time is fleeting ♪

♪ 'Cause you know it's a New Year ♪

♪ It's a brand new beginnig that ♪

♪ Another three-sixty-five
And the world keeps spinning ♪


♪ It's a New Year ♪

♪ It's a time for celebration ♪
♪ The fun has just begun ♪


♪ Yeah, it's gonna be a happy New Year ♪

♪ Gonna be a happy New Year ♪

♪ Gonna be a happy New Year ♪

♪ Gonna be a happy New Year ♪

♪ Gonna have a happy New Year ♪

♪ 'Cause you know it's a New Year... ♪

- Baljeet: What is happening?
- Is this your doing, bro?

"Auld Lang Syne" literally
means "old long ago."

But I'd rather think of New
Year's as an unspoiled universe.


I sure hope Candace
can see the fireworks.

You know, I don't know if I'm gonna
be able to keep this resolution.

That's okay. I like you
just the way you are.

- Happy New Year, Candace.
- Happy New Year, Jeremy.

♪ 'Cause you know it's a New Year ♪

♪ It's a brand new beginnig ♪

♪ Another three-sixty-five
And the world keeps spinning ♪


♪ It's a New Year ♪

♪ It's a time for celebration
The fun has just begun ♪


♪ Yeah, it's gonna be a happy New Year ♪

♪ Gonna be a happy New Year ♪

♪ Gonna be a happy New Year ♪

♪ Gonna be a happy new year ♪
- Norm: Happy New Year!


[kisses]
# Gonna have a happy New Year #
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