02x13 - The Goulash Legacy & The Dog Who Knew Too Much

[bunniefuu]

[theme music playing]

♪ Look at that sun
Look at that sky ♪

♪ Look at my sweater vest
I look so fly ♪

♪ Look at that mailbox
Look at that tree ♪

♪ It's about as beautiful as it can be ♪

♪ Whoa

♪ Today is gonna be exceptional ♪

♪ Never boring even for a minute ♪

♪ It's my world
And we're all livin' in it ♪

♪ Whoa, whoa ♪

♪ Never boring even for a minute ♪

♪ It's my world
And we're all livin' in it ♪

[Grandpa] Feast your eyes, Toby!

This robotic pot of goulash

was the hero of the Great Screech
Owl w*r of Millennia II.

A w*r that was a turning point
for the entire human race.

You see, thousands of
owl-shaped drones

were accidentally programmed
to destroy humans.

[owls screeching]

For years,

the owls battled mankind for
dominion over planet Earth.

But at its darkest hour,

humanity was
miraculously saved.

Out of nowhere,
the legendary figure appeared.

And it was this
sentient crockpot of goulash

that single-handedly defeated
the robotic avian aggressors,

and was the salvation
of all mankind.

So always remember, Grandson,

none of us would be here,
were it not for...

That brave bowl of goulash!

[sobbing]

[laughing]

What? Hey.

No, I'm...
I'm serious!

Oh, come on, Grandpa!

So some Hungarian meat dish

just walks out
from behind a hill...

It was goulash!

-And blows up some toy owls?
-Those were screech owls

-and he was...
-Hey, look!

I got a slow cooker
for a head and I...

Yeah, go ahead and make fun
of your grandfather.

What did he do?
Just before he took off,

did he say, "paprika!"

-You don't believe me?
-Ah, come on, Grandpa,

how is any part
of that story possible?

Well, lad, it all started
innocently enough...

In a small town
called Danville

in an age when humans and machines
had a friendly relationship.

[Zack] That goulash smells delish,
Mrs. Murphy.

Thanks, Zack.

It's for the World's Greatest
Goulash contest.

-That's a thing?
-Oh, it is.

I'm actually surprised
you get any cooking done

with all the Murphy's Law
around here.

Well, Milo helped out a lot.

By taking Diogee for a walk.

[Milo] Mom! Are you done?

Can I come in now?

All clear, Milo.
Come on in!

Mmm. Smells great, Mom.

From the aroma alone,
I bet you'll win First Prize!

[barks]

[shattering]

[panting]

[bell dinging]

Guess I didn't take
a long enough walk.

Not to worry, Milo,
I made extra just in case,

so I have a spare.

[snapping]

Okay, I guess that ceiling microwave
was a bad idea

-but I've got another spare right over...
-[crashing]

Okay, I have
this one hidden in the...

[crashing]

-Don't worry, I've got another!
-[crashing]

Don't worry,
I've got another!

Well, this one is
my actual last spare.

I'm going to let it simmer over here
where it should be safe.

Oh, right.

Let's go outside and see what
Dr. D is up to.

Now you've got
a fighting chance.

♪ Houston we've got a situation ♪

♪ Better stay by the phone ♪

Hey Dr. D!
What'cha you up to?

Oh, just going through
some of my old inventions

that have survived the,
the old building collapse.

I'm hoping that this body
will work with Norm's head.

Who are these people?

Oh, sorry, Norm.
This is a whole new series...

Of events that
have transpired. Long story.

[Norm] There I go
losing my head again.

[electricity buzzing]

Rejected.

I ain't got no body.

I joke to hide my pain.

Hey Dr. D,
what's all this stuff?

Oh, just a box of
old handheld inators.

Cool. What's this gizmo?

Well, Milo's friend,

this one's
a Hand-to-Foot-Inator.

It changes a hand into a foot.

I used it to get revenge on
my stuck-up cousin Wolfgang

who was a, a hand-model...

And now he's a foot-model.
Very successful.

So, you know that didn't work.

Ah, see what else we got here.

Dust-Devill-Inator, the...

Oh, and this one's
a Chicken-Replace-Inator.

You sh**t something, it switches places
with the nearest chicken.

[clucking]

-[clucking]
-In case you were wondering,

the goulash is
now a chicken.

[clucking]

You turned the goulash
into a chicken?

No I didn't turn
the goulash into a chicken.

It's not magic.

It just switched places
with the nearest chicken.

-Science!
-[Milo] Um, quick question?

When we catch it,
do you know how to turn it back?

Again, I did not
turn it into anything.

It's a simple
chicken-matter transfer.

Find the nearest
chicken coop,

you'll find
your goulash.

Now, how do we turn that
back into goulash?

[Doofenshmirtz]
Is nobody listening?

Hey, Milo, I found this
in my chicken coop.

The goulash!

Um, and you haven't seen
a chicken, have ya?

See! See!
Now that guy gets it!

Uh, you mean this one?

-[clucks]
-Lemon! Come to Papa!

Mwah!

Thanks, Milo's friend!

[clucks]

Did that man just
kiss his chicken?

Oh, I get it. Lemon chicken. I get it.

Hey, where's Zack?

Driven by a perverse curiosity,

Zack went back to the box of mystery
and picked out...

The Hand-to-Foot-Inator!

Meanwhile,
from his perch,

the lonely robot head
watched with trepidation.

Dude, don't narrate
over my narration.

I'm gonna put this
back in the kitchen

far away from Murphy's Law
and Doof's inators.

[Zack] Hey, Dr. D.

Does this thing have a reverse switch
on it or something?

[both] Zack!

Look's like Wolfgang is gonna
have a little competition

in the foot modeling business.

Can you fix it, Dr. D?

Yeah, no sweat.

I can rewire the output back
through the input

but I'll need a transformer,
some soldering wire,

and a whole lotta gauze.

I'll be right back.

I'll also need
some apple juice.

Oh, this is
an interesting footnote

to our chicken goulash adventure.

Toe-tally.

Oh, ha-ha-ha.
It wasn't my fault.

See, all I did was
push this little...

Okay, quick survey.

Everyone who got zapped by the ray, uh,
raise your... Feet.

Yeah, I was afraid of that.

[barks]

I can probably strip
some of the parts I need

out of these
other inators and I...

Oh, hey, you all have
feet hands! Cool!

[electrical buzzing]

Ah, that's my, uh...
My Dust-Devil-Inator,

apparently
functioning properly.

Oh, no! The goulash!

[all] Whoa!

[vocalizing]

♪ We're caught up in a spin
Got to keep the goulash in ♪

♪ This pot so we could win the
Greatest Goulash contest ♪

♪ We got feet for hands
So it complicates our plans ♪

♪ And it doesn't quite make sense ♪

♪ When you take it out of context ♪

♪ Goulash ♪

♪ Goulash ♪

♪ It's up to me and you ♪

♪ Goulash ♪

[clucking]

♪ Goulash ♪

♪ We got to say that's goulash ♪

♪ Goulash ♪

I got it!

♪ Goulash ♪

Hey! My hands are back!

Mine too!
Nice work Dr. D!

All in a day's work for Dr. D!

[crashing]

And look, what we have here is
contest-ready goulash.

♪ Seen him before
You're gonna see him soon ♪

♪ He's recurring raccoon ♪

[Diogee barking]

[Diogee barking]

[rays zapping]

[rays zapping]

So Milo, uh,
have you seen my goulash?

Yeah, it's in the shed being sh*t by all
of Dr. D's inators.

Huh.

[Doofenshmirtz] Uh. I have absolutely no
idea how this is going to turn out.

[electrical buzzing]

[goulash] What is this place?
Where am I?

Who are you?

Wait a minute.

A Hungarian meat dish?

Give me a second.

What is our mission?

Paprika?

What is paprika?

Goulash? Now we're talking.

I taste good,
therefore I am.

Aw, some guys get
all the bodies.

[thumping]

Fear not friends.
For I am the greatest sentient robot

according to kids to
in this time slot

and I must go forth
and save the world!

Paprika!

-Was that my goulash?
-I'm afraid so.

-Sorry, Mom.
-Are you kidding?

My goulash is
a flying sentient robot.

In your face,
Margaret Bellasazi!

[Margaret Bellasazi]
Oh, whatever, Brigette.

She always wins the contest.

Citizens of Danville.

We are here to dedicate
this time capsule

which will only be opened
eons from now

in the event of a w*r
with robotic screech owls.

I don't know why that's a stipulation,
but uh, it is.

And to help us celebrate,

here to perform their oddly specific,
new hit single, "Goulash".

Love-Handel!

[crowd cheering]

♪ Round and round ♪

♪ It's soup from Hungary
That's as hearty as can be ♪

♪ Though it's windy you can see ♪

♪ That we're not allowed to spill it ♪

♪ That's a delicious recipe
It's a hyperbole ♪

♪ To say it's got a destiny ♪

♪ And it really should fulfill it! ♪

Say. Is that Love-Handel?

[grunting]

[Goulash] Oh, no!
My one weakness is sky banners!

[crashing]

[Grandpa] And luckily,
that time capsule was unsealed

just when we needed him.

Oh, come on!

I don't buy it, Grandpa.

There's no way that happened!
Heh, no way!

Hey kid, don't sass your elders.

Paprika!

Looks like I owe you
an apology.

♪ It's my world
And we're all livin' in it ♪

Wow, crab fishing is a lot harder than
they make it look on TV.

-[bell dinging]
-Now, listen! You kids will be fine.

And you'll be getting
your school extra credit.

I got the forms right here!

That's all right!

I have a spare copy
right here!

Never mind about that!

I downloaded the forms
to my cellphone...

Look, I promise
when we get back to port,

I'll phone the school myself!

[bell dinging]

Yeah, I don't think
we're getting that extra credit.

[barking]

Diogee! Go home!

You're not supposed to be
on a crab boat.

[whimpering]

[pulleys squeaking]

[horn tooting]

[sniffs]

♪ I wanna puppy and a kitten too ♪

♪ I wanna bunny and a kangaroo ♪

[crowd applauding]

Aw, thank you, Mazie, honey,

for that amazing rendition
of something or other.

Go find Mommy. Anywho, for those of you
just joining us, welcome to

the Museum of Sharp Objects'

First Annual Toddler Talent Show.

Thank you!

We'd had, uh,
some difficulty,

uh, attracting
families with toddlers

to our museum
for some reason,

so we came up
with this contest.

Well, maybe it all goes back
to when my brother said,

buy real estate, and I said no.

I said "small, family-operated museums
are where the money is."

And now my brother owns
a plane, casinos,

and an island off Italy.
But no museum! Heh.

Who's laughing now, Jeffery?

[crickets chirping]

Ahem. Our next talented toddler is Chloe,
my other daughter,

who will juggle teddy bears!

[sobbing]

[ominous music]

Ugh! Look at this mess.

Sara, is that your sweater
on the chair?

There are clothes everywhere!

They aren't all mine.

And most of them
are lab coats that are dirty.

Except for this one.
It's burnt.

Hey, I can take a hint.

That was a hint, right?
It sounded hinty.

If by "hint" you meant
was I referring to you

being the dirty clothes
culprit, then yes.

Mom! Sara's being mean to me!

I'm not your mom.

And Sara, stop being mean
to your brother.

-He's not my...
-Whatever. I'm going out.

Everyone please pick up their clothes by
the time I get back! Thank you!

-All right, I suppose I should...
-Yes!

Wait! Why should I
pick up clothes

when I could invent something that will
come and pick up everything for us.

-Be right back.
-Why does he live here again?

[guitar music playing]

[beeping]

Agent P, sorry about your disguise.

I know that
particular shade of pink

isn't really your color.

I would have gone with salmon.
Turquoise is Spring.

He's a summer, Carl.

I'm not going to have the season color
chart argument with you again!

This is enemy agent Igor.

He will be
handing over a jump drive

to this man, Vlad.

Igor will be
disguised as a child

and the jump drive
will be disguised as a cookie.

Vlad will be disguised
as a stage mom.

I know that seems like a lot of theater,
but, life is a stage.

You must intercept the drive
and convey it across town

to your liaison at Harry Hamster's
Restaurant and Playground...

[Carl] Ooh, I always loved
Harry Hamster's!

-You're not going, Carl.
-Oh...

[suspenseful music playing]

[sobbing]

Blue Ducky stole my cookie!

Creep.

[guitar music continues]

[suspenseful music playing]

[grunting]

[barks]

[grunts]

Ta-da! This is my
Robotic-Hamper-Helper-Inator.

I, I'm, I'm still
working on the name.

Anyway, it should
pick up all the clothes

and take them to
the laundry room for us!

Okay, but did you have to
dump all your clean clothes

down here too?

I just wanted to
give it a challenge.

[beeping]

And it has a tongue? Wow.

[burps]

Oh, my bad.
I had it on "Belch."

This, this should get it working.
Here you go.

[slurps and belches]

Hey! Rude!

No, bad. Bad
Hamper-Helper-Inator thing.

Hey, I was reading those!

[continues burping]

-Ow!
-All right, hold still...

I got you now. Settle down.

I just gotta
reprogram you and...

[grunts]

[muffled] You just,
I'm just gonna turn...

[loud belching]

[beeping]

There! Now off
to the laundry room!

[beeping]

Oh, you, you know what,

it's probably going to the laundry room
in my old apartment.

Which is just a big sinkhole now.

Come back, clothes!

All right, but it seems like
a lot of effort.

Come back, doggy!
I'm not going to hurt you.

I just want to pet you...

Using this spear.

[grunts]

[both grunting]

[suspenseful music playing]

Hey, hamper! Stop. Come on.

Do something, Dr. D!

Okay! Um, I guess
if I had another two hours

I could build a Hamper-Chase-Inator
that would...

That's not helping!

[in Russian accent] Who is small teal man
in fedora with dog?

Who cares?
Just get dog!

[both grunting]

[trumpeting]

[man] And then my truck starts sliding
on this spilled molasses,

next thing you know,
I look down the street

I see his elephant truck
coming right at me.

And we collided.

What are the odds of two trucks carrying
circus elephants

-crashing into each other?
-Yeah. What are the odds?

I smell a Murphy.

-Murphy!
-[gasps] I just wanted a latte!

[sobbing] I'm sorry!

[trumpeting]

[Igor] Strange teal man
is getting away.

[Vlad in Russian accent] Elephants!
Why is it always elephants?

[ominous music]

He went around this corner.

Huh?

[grunts]

[groans]

Argh!

[groaning]

Good dog, Diogee!

And whoever you are.

Oh, that's Perry the Platypus.

Good Platypus,
Perry the Platypus.

Wait a minute.
No, no, I'm still mad at you!

I take that back!

Hurry!

On second thought,
this is your fault

and you don't deserve
that high-five.

Give it back!

Oh, that's harsh, bro.

[motor whirring]

Mine! Mine!

Mine!

[both grunting]

[Igor] Wait. What are you...

Babushka.

[digital beeping]

Let's see...

Ow! Sorry, I hit the self-destruct button
with my nose.

Your hamper
has a self-destruct?

-Yours doesn't?
-Oh, no!

What have you two done?

[chuckling]
Uh, she did it?

[growls]

I'll show myself out.

♪ We're Harry Hamster's
Domesticated rodent band ♪

♪ You'll either like our music
Or you'll hate it ♪

♪ But you can search
From east to west across this land ♪

♪ And you'll never find a rodent band
That's so domesticated ♪

♪ I'm Harry the hamster
This is Guinea Pig Greg ♪

♪ He can only plays the drums
'Cause he's not verbal ♪

[Greg] I can't talk.

♪ Then there's Chester Chinchilla
He can harmonize ♪

♪ And the familiar face
On the bass of Jerry the gerbil ♪

♪ Jerry the gerbil
Jerry the gerbil ♪

♪ We're Harry Hamster's
Domesticated rodent band ♪

♪ And you'll never find
A rodent band that's so domesticated ♪

[suspenseful music playing]

[suspenseful music playing]

[grunts]

[music playing]

This was my favorite ride as a kid.

You must be Agent P.
Where's the package?

[chattering]

The dog ate it?
How in the world do we get it back...

Oh, right. Of course.

I'm just gonna
let you handle it.

[barks]

So, why were we
on a crab boat?

Good news kids!
I got your forms back!

♪ It's my world
And we're all livin' in it ♪

♪ Go, Milo
Go, Milo, go ♪

♪ Oh, thanks, everybody
That is so motivational ♪

♪ Go, Milo
Go, Milo, go ♪

♪ Whoa ♪

♪ Whoa ♪

♪ I'm not sitting here
Watching the world turn ♪

♪ You know I'd rather spin it ♪

♪ Go, Milo
Go, Milo, go ♪

♪ It's my world
And we're all livin' in it ♪