02x14 - Adventure Buddies & Ride Along Little Doggie

[bunniefuu]

♪ Look at that sun
Look at that sky ♪

♪ Look at my sweater vest
I look so fly ♪

♪ Look at that mailbox
Look at that tree ♪

♪ It's about as beautiful as it can be ♪

♪ Whoa

♪ Today is gonna be exceptional ♪

♪ Never boring even for a minute ♪

♪ It's my world
And we're all livin' in it ♪

♪ Whoa, whoa ♪

♪ Never boring even for a minute ♪

♪ It's my world
And we're all livin' in it ♪

♪ Doofenshmirtz' shed in the backyard ♪

[Doofenshmirtz] Ow.

And thanks for
helping me, Vanessa. Ow.

You know I really...
Ow. I learned something today.

Sometimes people
on construction sites

really don't... Ow.
They don't want your advice.

Almost got it, Dad.

Oh, thanks.

You know, Dad, I think you're spending
too much time alone.

You're right. I need a friend.
An adventure buddy.

Like this guy.

[Vanessa] When adventure calls,
don't let it go to voicemail.

Now where did I put
Norm's head?

No dad not a robot.

Look, Perry
sent you a card.

[Doofenshmirtz reading]

[Vanessa] What about Perry?
He was your adventure buddy, right?

Yeah, was.
Past tense.

Ugh. Middle-aged drama.

Just call him, Dad.

No, no. He's gotta
call me first.

He sent you a card!
He reached out first!

No. He...
He needs to call.

Like physically call.
From, like a landline.

Whatever. You know
he doesn't talk right?

In the meantime, maybe you'll find
a new adventure buddy.

Gotta go. Later, Dad!

Oh, good morning Heinz.
Vanessa.

Hi, Mrs. Murphy!

Milo's letter made
Disaster Magazine this month

so I'm gonna go pick up copies
for all the grandparents.

Would you keep an eye
on Diogee while I'm gone?

You got it. I'll be completely aware of
Diogee's location at all times.

%.

That you can
depend on...

Diogee!

Here, Diogee!

Wow, you look away for to minutes,
and suddenly... Ugh.

Diogee!

Yeah and he hit the rail so hard
that his...

Oh, hey. You wanna
try little guy?

[Diogee barks]

Yeah! Yeah!

Better call the vet dog,
'cause that move was sick!

[panting] Diogee!

Can I borrow your skateboard?

Can you do an ollie kick flip
like that?

I could,
I just choose not to.

"...and I know from
personal experience

that your description of the sound
a tornado makes

smashing a piano into a pie factory
was right on the money.

Your fan, Milo Murphy."

Wow, Milo,
you're a published author.

-Thanks, Zack.
-[Diogee barking]

Diogee?

[Diogee barking]

Diogee!

Hang on, boy!

[Milo] Diogee!

Hmm. You know, I don't think
I've ever been down here.

Really? Feels like
we're always down here.

[Scott] Greetings,
surface dwellers!

You're just in time for lunch!

Oh, hey, Scott.

May I interest you
in some mystery meat?

[flies buzzing]

I politely decline.

Not me. I decline
with no politeness.

You have arrived on the eve of my
farewell dinner.

Behold! My new
adventure boat!

Wait a minute.

My adventure buddy.

Er, uh, Scott, do you happen to have room
for another adventurer?

But of course.
Here, we'll be hat twins.

Welcome aboard.

Oh, this is great.

We're gonna go
live on the river like

Huck Finn and
Tom Whats-his-face.

[camera clicks]

But we must leave now.

For the Great Flood is coming.

Oh, a great flood.

How do you know?
Was there like an ancient prophecy?

No. The water main's
about to blow.

Uh, yeah we'll
catch you later Dr. D.

Tell Vanessa I found
my Adventure Buddy!

[Milo] Okay, if we see her.

[Diogee whimpers]

So... Tetanus sh*t?

[banjo music playing]

Wow, this is fun.

[Scott] And you get to meet all sorts of
interesting people.

Good day,
virtuous school marm

and your book-learnin'
young'uns.

But uh, that's just um...

Bully for you, strangely-attired
circus bear.

[honks]

[continues honking]

That's not a bear.
How long have you been down here?

No, it's a bear.
Look.

Hmm, maybe if I squint...

[gasps]

All I have to do is squint my eyes and
then everything looks old-timey.

♪ All I gotta do is squint my eyes ♪

♪ Squint my eyes
Squint my eyes ♪

♪ All I gotta do is squint my eyes ♪

♪ And everything looks old-timey ♪

♪ Whenever I feel nostalgic
For a time I never knew ♪

♪ I limit the light coming in my eyes ♪

♪ And it's ♪

♪ Rollin' down the river
At a leisurely pace ♪

♪ Where we hang our hats is our home ♪

♪ Like Huck Finn
And Tom Whats-his-face ♪

♪ We were to roam ♪

♪ All I gotta do is squint my eyes ♪

♪ Squint my eyes
Squint my eyes ♪

♪ All I gotta do
Is squint my eyes ♪

♪ And everything looks old-timey ♪

♪ All I gotta do is squint my eyes ♪

♪ Squint my eyes
Squint my eyes ♪

♪ All I gotta do is squint my eyes ♪

♪ And everything looks old-timey ♪

[bats screeching]

[Scott playing harmonica]

Ah. Well, if this isn't
the spirit of adventure.

Just two hat twins with no conflicts,
rivalries or mind-games,

unlike a certain
platypus I know,

who shall remain nameless...

But his name
is Perry the Platypus.

Oh. [sing song] I think someone's waking
up from her afternoon nap.

Mildred?

So, uh, why are you talking
to a paper bag?

That's ridiculous.
Who would talk to a bag?

What's that, Mildred?

Who's this fellow
with the pointy nose?

Why, he's my new buddy!

Oh, don't worry, Mildred,
you'll always be my favorite.

You uh, uh...

Oh, my goodness.

You know that's
a milk carton, right?

-You know you're my favorite.
-Right?

Don't you act
sassy with me.

I guess he can't hear me
'cause he's talking to a milk carton.

But that's okay. I mean,
I'm just sitting here talking to myself,

so I get it, that's cool.

No, you are.

That's cool as long as we can stay best
adventure buddies, life is perfect.

I've never looked at another carton.

So, uh, when's my turn?

Hey, uh, adventure buddy.

I made a little
something to share.

Um, hey, er, listen.

Er, I'm sorry, I forgot your name.
But, anyway,

can't we have
a dude's night out,

but just me and you,
like we did before?

I'm so sorry. We're kind of in the middle
of something right now.

-So...
-Oh, yes, of course.

What was I thinking?
Sorry, I...

We're still good, right?
Right? Right?

Ah!

Hey, guys? Allow me to introduce
Stephanie, my girlfriend.

We have so much
in common, it's ridiculous.

I mean, seriously we're like,
we're both skinny

and we have clumps of hair,
and we both,

like buckets and, er...

Well, I guess that's about it. Skinny.
Clumps of hair. And we both like buckets.

That's enough to build
a relationship on, right?

You, you realize
that's a mop, right?

And she's a milk carton!

Your girlfriend is a milk carton that
someone has drawn a smilie face on.

I can only assume
it was you.

Mildred says go sit
in the dinghy!

Where does Mildred get off
telling me what to do?

Doesn't she know
who I'm not yet?

I'm Professor Time,
that's who I'm not yet.

Miss Cardboard
No Spill Spout.

-[crashing]
-What...

[screaming]

Whoa! Whoa!

[screaming]

Mildred!

No!

No! Mildred!

Uh-oh.

[gasps] Mildred!

Mildred, where are you?

Mildred! You're safe!

You've been saved!

Yeah. You're welcome.

Mildred says
she wants you to stay.

Well, that's nice of you,
Mildred, and I'd like to,

'cause you know,
this was fun.

But uh, the truth is,

I've been feeling a little bit
like a third wheel.

But you're not
a third wheel.

-I'm not?
-No.

You're like some
other vehicle altogether.

It's like we're
a bicycle over here,

and then somewhere over there,
you're a unicycle

just going
'round in circles.

And juggling, in a frantic grab
for attention.

But we don't even notice you,
unless you drop something.

And then it's just an annoyance.

What I mean to say is...

We want you to stay.

Well, as much as I love
meandering speeches,

the truth is,
it's time for me to go.

Tell Stephanie it never would have
worked out between us.

I'm a rolling stone.

I gather no mops!

Oh, well. You can always
stay here, Stephanie.

What?

Oh, who needs
adventure?

That's just asking for drama.

What I need is a place
where people accept me for who I am.

You know a place where they don't mind if
I spread out and do my experiments.

And then, you know maybe a place where
there's a strong parental presence,

and maybe some children
to lighten the mood.

And a young boy who shares
my penchant for disaster.

But, ugh.

But where on Earth
would I find such a place?

Ah!

I'm home.

Hey look,
I found the dog.

[rock music playing]

[Christmas theme instrumental
music playing]

It's so great of the school to put on this
winter break awards show

just to honor students.

It's like something that would only
happen on a TV show.

You know, late in the season
when the writers are tired.

I am not nominated
for anything this year.

But it is an honor just to hang out with
the people who are nominated.

The real honor is you

getting to see the
interpretive dance

Lydia and I
are gonna be doing.

Wait. Where's Lydia?

I'm nominated for
"Most Tolerant Friend."

Is that a joke?

Don't push me, lady.

Aren't you nominated
for something too, Milo?

Yeah, but
I don't know for what.

A turkey vulture swooped in
and stole the invite

before I could read
the category.

Hi, honey. We want to get a picture
of the big star.

Are you on the list?

Seriously?

Are you on the list?

We just wanted
to take a pic...

This area is for students
and faculty only.

You can take pictures in the Mom
and Pop-arrazzi Zone.

-Can't we just...
-Hey. I don't make the rules man.

Who makes the rules?

Okay, I make the rules.

I will save you seats down front so you
can take lots of pictures.

Thanks, Amanda.

See you guys
after the show.

I've got my eye
on you, Murphy.

Diogee, go home.

You're not supposed
to be at the awards show.

♪ It's a sad dog's life ♪

[Captain] All right officers,
the night shift is beginning.

As you know,

our canine officer, Officer Rex, was
dognapped a few weeks ago

by this individual:

Zippy, the world's
fastest Koala.

♪ Zippy the world's fastest Koala ♪

We received another
letter this morning.

He's now demanding
a ransom of pounds

of eucalyptus leaves
for the return of Rex.

But we're gonna
stand by police policy.

We will not negotiate
with marsupials.

If you come upon him,
consider him armed,

in that he has two arms,
and dangerous.

Fuller, Hastings, would you like to say a
few words about your partner?

If any of you
spot the perp,

please make sure
Rex gets back unharmed.

He's so much more than our K- .

He's a K- .
Maybe even a K- .

Heck, I'd even
go up to K- .

That's how much
he means to us.

Now, everyone
get out there

and bring me that ridiculously fast
dog-jacking marsupial.

And please, let's be
careful out there.

[hissing]

[cat screeching]

[Diogee barking]

[Elliot] Everyone, step lively.

No horseplay, dilly-dallying, tom-foolery,
antics, buffoonery, or pranks.

You sure you've got
all that covered Elliot?

Wait. And no hijinks!

I knew there
was one more.

Whoops! Don't want any broken glass
in the auditorium.

Um, guys?

Well, this is an unexpected
obstacle to my goal.

But a catalyst to adventure...

Who am I talking to?

-[barks]
-[both gasp]

It's a dog!

Dispatch didn't tell us
we got a new K- .

Does he have an I.D.?

Doesn't have a collar.

Well, I guess we'll
call you Rex Two.

Welcome aboard, Officer.

[police dispatch]
Attention all units,

Zippy the Koala has been spotted on a
stolen motorcycle in the Garment District.

Approach with caution.

Remember he is
the world's fastest Koala.

♪ He's the fastest Koala in the world ♪

If we find him, we find Rex.

Let's make some noise!

-[howling]
-[siren blaring]

Actually I was talking
about the siren,

but I like your
enthusiasm, Rex Two.

[Principal Milder] Our next award
is for greenest thumb!

I hope I don't miss
my category.

And the winner
for greenest thumb is,

Chad Van Coff.

Come on up, Chad.

Woo-hoo!

Really, people?

I'm literally
part plant here.

[cowboy music playing]

[sci-fi themed music playing]

[jazz music playing]

All right. Keep your eyes peeled.

Yeah, that's the problem.

This koala is so fast,

he's always one step
ahead of us.

-We can never...
-[bike engine revving]

♪ Zippy ♪

♪ The world's fastest koala ♪

♪ He's the fastest koala in the world ♪

♪ He's always floating around ♪

Okay, now he's just
taunting us.

-After them!
-[tires screeching]

[siren blaring]

Darn it! We lost him!

Well we didn't lose them.
We know where they went.

Our car just couldn't
fit in the pipe.

Do you always
have to be so literal?

Congratulations to Wendy Hillman for
winning Best Teacher's Pet!

Hey, Zack.

-Ah!
-I'm here. I made it.

Lydia? Are you okay?
You look terrible!

Oh, uh, just
a little food poisoning.

But it's not gonna stop
me from performing tonight.

But you can
barely stand.

We didn't train for
three weeks on this routine

so I can let down the
audience and you tonight.

I'm not going
to let a little fever,

chills, dizziness,

temporary blindness,

uncontrollable body spasms,

forgetfulness, mood swings,

and forgetfulness

stop us from
getting out there.

Where are we?

Wow. I had a splinter
and I almost stayed home.

Okay. You guys are going on right after
this next category.

Okay. I'm ready.

Let's do this.

[Principal Milder]
The nominees are...

Oh, no, Lydia!

Lydia! Stay away
from the light!

...Dave Wong and Milo Murphy!

And the winner is...

Milo Murphy!

Yay, Milo! Booyah!

Booyah!

Milo?

-[Principal Milder] Hello?
-I'm coming! I'm coming!

I'm coming...

Hold that award,
I'll be right there.

I can hear him,
but I can't see him.

Ha, kids today!

I'm vamping.

[softly] Murphy's Law got Milo.

He's fallen into
the basement.

Stall for time!

[softly] Are you kidding me?

We have a basement?

Uh, so, uh,

while we're waiting for Milo,

uh, anyone here like comedy?

Great! Me too.

So, so there's
this horse, right?

I hope Milo's okay.

Milder's dying out there.

You guys need to get out there early
and distract the audience.

Zack, this award show needs us.

Lydia can you honestly say you could go
out there like this?

Mind over matter, Zack.

Mind over...

I smell french toast.

And the horse said,

"Why the long face?"

Oh, wait, wait,
it's the podiatrist.

Imagine the podiatrist said...

[Milo] I'll be up there in one sec.

And the winner
is Milo Murphy!

[grunts]

Nope I was wrong.
Gonna be longer than a sec.

Oh, no! Here! Here!

Just get out there.

Wait, why do I need
to wear this helmet?

Well, you all heard that,

he's almost here,
so, uh...

[laughs] What do you call
a fake noodle?

An impasta!

Thank you! Thank you!
I got a million of 'em!

So, these three horses
walk into an Italian restaurant...

That's my boy.
Slinking off the stage in shame.

Where are you, Milo?

[creaks]

There's more than one way
to climb a staircase.

And the horse looked
at the elephant and said,

"Why the long nose?"

[laughing sarcastically]

Well, I thought I had a million of 'em,
but I guess I only have two.

Well...
[laughs nervously]

We'll give Milo
his award tomorrow.

Thanks for a great night,
ladies and germs.

Please drive safely.

That went pretty well.

[Lydia] We're here.

We're gonna perform.

-We're coming. I'm fine, I'm fine.
-Lydia. Lydia. No.

-I'm totally fine. I'm ready.
-The nice men from the hospital are here.

-The nice men...
-No Santa. I can do it Santa.

Leave me alone.

I know how
to dance fight.

[mimics karate sounds]

Okay.

-That was the best WiBa's yet!
-Sure was.

I was kinda hoping to see Milo

actually get to the stage
this year though.

I will pick up his award and look
for him back stage.

Okay, we'll look
for him outside.

I can't believe
we lost 'em.

-Donut?
-Seriously?

Cops eating donuts?

Don't be such a cliche!

[Fuller] So now you speak French?

[barking]

What is it, Rex Two?
What do you see?

Wait, isn't that the stolen motorcycle
the koala was driving?

[metal whirring]

-[squeaking]
-IT'S A RAID!!!

Paws up, ya dog stealing
freak of nature!

Great work,
Officer Rex Two!

You found Officer Rex One!

[groans]

We couldn't have done any of this
without you, Rex Two.

You're one of the smartest,
most talented K-infinity officers

we've had the honor
to work with.

But the thing is,

Rex One is our partner

and we only just met you.

We know how much it must
hurt being let go like this and all,

but...

Hey! Where's he going?

You bored him to death.

[whines]

I'm sorry. That was harsh.
Come on. Bring it in.

-[engine starts]
-♪ Zippy ♪

[tires screeching]

[siren blaring]

That koala just stole
our car, didn't he?

He is the world's fastest koala.

[screams]

Amanda?

There's an elevator
right over there.

[elevator bell dings]

I picked up your award.

You did?
That was so nice.

Um, what was
the award for?

And the winner for
Greatest Perseverance is...

Milo Murphy!

[all cheering]

Yay, Milo!

Booyah.

♪ It's my world
And we're all livin' in it ♪

♪ Go, Milo Go, Milo, go ♪

♪ Oh, thanks, everybody
That is so motivational ♪

♪ Go, Milo
Go, Milo, go ♪

♪ Whoa ♪

♪ I'm not sitting here
Watching the world turn ♪

♪ You know I'd rather spin it ♪

♪ Go, Milo
Go, Milo, go ♪

♪ It's my world
And we're all livin' in it ♪