04x13 - Kaerb Ym Traeh!

[bunniefuu]

[Phantom Stranger] We had
dispersed Child's Pillar of Fire

and quieted her volcano...

But the Earth had been shattered

by the Witch Girl's Chaos, and so...

There is work to do.

[Phantom Stranger] What began
with a stranger calling upon a savage,

would now come to a head

with the Savage summoning the Stranger.

Yet one way or another...

the conflict would end.

[theme music playing]

[horn honking]

[Thirteen, Khalid and Mary groan]

[Klarion] Hey, goody-ten-shoes!
Been looking for you everywhen!

- Klarion?
- [Klarion] Well, duh!

[children screaming, yelling]

[groans] Thank God we're off that bus.

[grunts]

[screaming]

That's Doctor Fate.

I saw a photo of him once.

He was in the Justice Society!

Justice League.

[Klarion] Hey!

Dumb heroes, pay attention!

We thought Child k*lled you.

[Klarion] She k*lled Teekl.

So I lost my familiar,

my anchor...

[voice trembling] and my best friend.

[Doctor Fate] Klarion
now uses that vehicle

to anchor himself to the mortal plane.

[Klarion] Brilliant deduction, genius.

This is perfect.
Now you two can team up.

[Doctor Fate] Out of the question.

The Witch Boy cannot be trusted.

Ugh, agreed. But right now
you need each other.

[Klarion] Look, I don't like it
any better than you, Naboobie,

but Child has the backing
of the Chaos Lords,

so we don't got a lot of choice here!

Nabu, you know it's true.

[Doctor Fate sighs]

If we must.

[Klarion] Great! Everyone on the bus!

First stop: wherever they keep
my new cat.

Since when did Doctor Fate
join the Justice League?

- [elevator dings, opens]
- Yeah, that's not going away anytime soon.

[footsteps approaching]

Garfield!

Hey, Perdita...

Happy to see me?

Surprised.

I mean, surprised and happy.

Why are you in town? Shopping spree?

Economic conference?

No, silly. I'm here to see you.

I brought you vegan-Thai-Chinese fusion.

Your favorite. [giggles]

Thanks, but I just ate.

Can we fridge it for later?

Of course.

[Doctor Fate] Are we clear on the plan?

[Klarion] Plan-schman.

None of it'll work
if I don't feline-up first!

And this magical hoo-ha

will really get us where we wanna go?

Yeah, Fate's good at giving directions.

So, uh,

you really been bouncing around
time and space for ten years?

Feels more like a couple of hours,

but I guess so?

I really have to pee.

When this is over,

we will get you back
to your proper time.

- I promise.
- Mmm.

After Klarion did this to these kids,

are we seriously gonna trust
him not to s*ab us in the back?

[Klarion] Uh, I can hear you.

Not even a little bit.

But right now, we have no choice.

[Klarion] I can still hear you.

Which doesn't mean we shouldn't
be ready for whatever he might do.

[Klarion] You're inside me.
I can hear everything!

Good.

- [children screaming]
- [tires screeching]

[child groaning]

Where are we?

[Klarion] Oh, sorry.

[Phantom Stranger] The Stranger summoned

the Lords of Order
and the Lords of Chaos

to hear the Savage's plea...

[Vandal] Here me, Lords.

You govern the balance in all things,

from the largest galaxy
to the tiniest quark.

But upon the planet Earth,

I have partnered with your Lord of Chaos

and begotten your Lord of Order.

It is I, Vandal Savage,

who has maintained the balance there.

Child has upset that balance,

threatening the destruction
of the planet.

And the true tragedy...
it is all so unnecessary.

If there is tragedy, Savage,
you are to blame.

Your alliance with Darkseid
has evolved Earth

into a significant front

in the w*r between Order and Chaos.

If Child has upset
Earth's delicate sensibilities,

this Savage has no one to blame
but himself.

[thunder crackling]

[cat meowing]

[meows]

[Klarion] No.

- [hisses]
- [Klarion] Ugh.

- [cat growling]
- [Klarion] You can't be serious.

- [cat growling]
- [Klarion] What, are you guys even trying?

Ugh, what are you looking for exactly?

[Klarion] I'm not looking!

The cat's supposed to look for me!

[kitten meows]

- [kitten purring]
- [Klarion] There! That's it! That's the one!

What was the point
of coming to an animal shelter

if he was gonna pick a stray
off the street?

It's magic, baby.

Remind me to tell you how I found Leroy.

[Klarion giggles] Now
all it needs is a name!

- Um... "She." All she needs is a name.
- [kitten meowing]

- I guess you could name her after your old cat.
- [kitten purring]

[Klarion] Please,
you have no imagination.

New cat. New name.

Something totally original.

[gasps] I've got it!

I'll call her...

Teekl!

[echoing] Teekl! Teekl!

- But that was...
- Don't.

[Doctor Fate] Now that
the Witch Boy and his familiar

have shared the bond of naming,

the animal has truly become his anchor.

Gimme!

Lovely to meet you, Teekl.

We're gonna have such fun.

[Doctor Fate] Come.
Child continues her rampage.

You and the kids stay with the bus.

We'll be back to send you home.

Assuming the world survives at all.

[Doctor Fate grunts]

[casting spell]

[Doctor Fate] All is ready.
Begin, Witch Boy.

- Take it, Teekl!
- [Teekl meows]

[Doctor Fate growls]

That is not sufficient.

She's a little kitty, you big bully.

She just needs a boost.

[meows]

[meow echoing]

[sighs]

What a stubborn little boy,

willing to partner with Fate
to get your way.

But that only proves my point.

You're a tool of Order,
unworthy of Chaos.

[blows]

Huh.

[chuckles nervously]

Well, um...

I've missed you, Garfield.

We haven't been in the same room

since you returned from Mars.

I know it must be
very hard losing Conner.

I have some... experience
with losing family members,

and I want to help you through this...

if you'll let me.

Too perfect.

We'll use their own power
to destroy them.

[both groaning]

[Doctor Fate] This can
only end one way, Child.

Yeah, with me laughing my ass on!

That's it, Mary. Take it in.

- [Zatanna] Slow but steady.
- [straining]

[gasps] Well, that's not right.

Now, Khalid! While she's distracted.

[casting spell]

[screaming]

[laughing maniacally]

You're sure she isn't human?
I'm a doctor, I took an oath!

Not even vaguely human. Keep it up!

Huh. An effective technique.

If I were truly organic.

And if I were in this fight alone.

But I have friends in high places.

So... sorry, not sorry.

Peek-a-boo.

[Child giggles, laughs maliciously]

- [Zatanna] Dleihs!
- [all yell, groan]

[laughing maniacally]

[both yell]

[laughing maniacally]

[Phantom Stranger] Fortunately,

the Savage never learned to surrender.

[Vandal] You referenced
my alliance with Darkseid.

But you ignore how that
alliance is fated to end.

With a final conflict
between Apokolips and Earth,

wherein if Earth falls,

the Anti-Life Equation reigns supreme.

Chaos will virtually cease to exist,

rendering Order moot.

For what is Order without Chaos?

It is as light without shadow.

If Darkseid's will comes to pass,

the balance will be forever lost.

Remember, Lords.
Victory was never the point.

It is the balance that is all.

Rather than fight over
one embryonic world,

we should join forces

with an eye toward long-term goals.

In the name of the Holy Balance,

I charge you to honor your true purpose.

What say you all?

[Phantom Stranger] The Lords of Order

agree to your proposal.

Chaos also agrees.

The Child will no longer
have our support.

But we shall not withdraw her.

Let the scales balance themselves.

[Vandal] It will suffice.

[groans]

- [Teekl meows]
- [all groaning]

- [Teekl meows]
- Yeah, I feel it.

The little witch
lost her edge. [chuckles]

[Teekl meows]

I still have more
than enough power stored up

to eliminate the likes of all of you.

[giggles]

Burn.

[thunder rumbling]

Dleihs!

[Child] Burn, burn,
burn, burn, burn! Hmm.

Take care of the mortals, Flaw.

I need to maintain the shield!

No worries. Power of Zeus!

[Doctor Fate] The tide
has turned, Child.

Has it?

Ha! Pathetic!

- [yells]
- [Teekl meows]

I'm okay, I'm okay!

Long as kitty's safe.

The kitty is not safe!

None of you are safe!

[straining]

[straining] I need more power!

[Khalid, Zatanna and Thirteen groaning]

Mary, stop!

You're draining the life-force
from us, from everything!

- [Khalid groans]
- [Mary straining]

Ooh, my kind of girl.

Yeah! I like her.

- Zatanna, you have to stop her.
- [Mary straining]

[grunts] Right, right.

- [Mary straining, yelling]
- [gasps]

[straining]

[groans] Ah!

[cell phone beeps]

You walked off the set of Space Trek?

I needed a break.

[Perdita] And the Outsiders?

You know, I worry about you,

so I get an alert
every time they go into action.

And I see they're in action now.

Are you on a break from them, too?

I am, actually.

So, you know, you don't
have to worry anymore.

And what about us?

Are we... on a break?

A break you neglected to tell me about?

I came , kilometers to see you!

I didn't ask you to.

Why not? I've been calling and texting.

All you had to do was
pick up your phone and...

[box clatters]

What are these?

[Garfield] Nothing!

It's just something to help me sleep.

[Perdita] Something to help you
checkout, you mean.

The show, the Outsiders,

you're pushing everyone away.

Garfield, you're pushing me away.

You need help.

Let me get you help.

I don't need help.

Garfield, I love you.

But I don't do "breaks."

If you won't let me help you,
and if you won't help yourself,

I won't stand by
and watch you self-destruct.

Noted.

There's the door... Your Majesty.

[door closes]

[Zatanna grunting, straining]

[both straining]

Let's finish this, shall we?

[both screaming]

Flaw, do your worst.

- [groans]
- [Thirteen] Hey!

You're pretty powerful, aren't you?

With only the tiniest of flaws.

Be a real bummer

if that one tiny, little cr*ck
were to spread.

Real bad luck!

[casting spell]

[cracks spreading]

What just... No, wait!

I can fix... [whispers] Dang it.

Ha! Bye-bye, Child!

Good riddance to bad robots.

- [Teekl meows]
- Rubbish. Rubbish.

She knew I meant rubbish.

[groans, exhales]

Wow. That left a mark.

- Still, I kind of like it.
- [Teekl meows]

[chuckles] I feel all warm
and fuzzy inside.

Well, it's been fun...

not!

You're welcome, and I'm out of here!

See ya later, avocados.

[grunts]

- Great job, Traci.
- You totally saved us.

[Doctor Fate] That is a truth.

Your students surprised me this day.

Each demonstrating great potential.

I thought so, too.

Mary, you did great.

[inhales] But there's
something we need to discuss.

- Wow.
- [whispering] Very wow!

[Mary] You cannot be serious!

We all fought side-by-side!

Why are they getting rewarded,
and I'm not?

It's not a reward.

It's more like a curse. [inhales]

And in any case, you're just not ready.

You're too much like him.

He needs hosts

who can balance out
his less humane impulses.

I'm not humane?

I didn't mean that.

But the fact is
you're attracted to power,

and you're not careful about
where that power comes from

or whom it hurts
when you take it or use it.

I did what needed to be done,

and all without saying you-know-what.

[inhales sharply] The cost
was worth the result!

That's how he thinks, Mary.

He doesn't need another him.

The world doesn't need another him!

[Doctor Fate] Of whom
do you speak? Of what?

Maybe now's not the time.

No. Go ahead. Tell him.
See what he thinks.

[Doctor Fate] Indeed, Sorceress. Speak.

[sighs]

Okay, fine.

[inhales deeply]

I propose that Nabu
alternate host bodies,

between my father, Khalid,
Traci and myself.

Each wears the Helmet for a week,

before handing it off
to the next in line,

keeping Fate's hosts fresh
and healthy at all times.

[in a low voice] And
with the added benefit

that three weeks out of four,
the host gets a life.

[Doctor Fate] Not this one?
She is powerful.

No.

Perhaps if I work with her more...

Wait, you're agreeing to this?

[Doctor Fate] The notion
has logic and potential.

And we have learned to trust
your mentor's judgment.

Mary, please, try to understand...

Send me home! Fawcett City. Now!

So, it's all settled then?

Nabu has agreed.

But one other must yet be convinced.

- Oh, Dad...
- No.

Absolutely not!

I put on the Helmet
to save you from this curse.

Do you honestly believe
I'd let you take it on now?

[Zatara] Absurd!

You put on the Helmet
to save -year-old me.

But I'm now, Dad,

and you are missing my entire life.

Not to mention your own.

You've sacrificed enough.

I can take this on
one week in four. Please!

[sighs wearily]

I never could say no to my girl.

Excuse us a minute.

[sighs] I'm sorry.

I didn't even have a chance
to ask if you...

I think you know I'm on board.

My Uncle Kent was always my hero.

I feel like my whole life

has been building to this moment.

It would be an honor
to don the Helmet of Fate.

But I have real questions.

You let Mary do what she did,

only to penalize her for it after.

And Traci?

As I understand it,
when you put on the Helmet,

you effectively become its prisoner,

surrendering your body,
your agency, your life to Nabu.

For you and me,

this sacrifice is necessary
in the name of family.

But will Traci's sacrifice

balance against her
altruistic desire to help?

I need to know.
Was this your plan all along?

Did you take on proteges
with the express purpose

of using us to liberate your father?

[sighs]

I want to be clear.
You do not have to do this.

But you're .

You can make your own decisions.

I'm in.

Good. Thank you.

So...

Father and daughter
deserve time together.

And you and your father
should at least discuss this.

So I will go first.

Bismillah.

[Phantom Stranger] And thus
balance is restored.

[Nabu] Why do you tell us
what we already know?

I tell you what you need to know.

[Nabu] Save your musings.

We have no intention
of thanking Vandal Savage

for cleaning up his own mess.

Admittedly, this chaos
did begin with one mortal.

But not with Savage.

The inciting incident

was no act of Chaos or even of Order.

[Zatanna] Come on now,

don't let a little constructive
criticism get you down.

You are all doing great!

In fact... In fact...

[Phantom Stranger] It was
the mere contemplation

of an act of love.

[Zatanna] I made my father
disappear ten years ago.

My greatest act of prestidigitation...

was bringing him back.

I know you've all been through a lot.

Remember, there's no shame
in admitting you need help.

S'hanid drac.

Make sure everyone has this number

and doesn't hesitate to use it.

She can help, I promise.

[Doctor Fate] We have
a tower to rebuild.

Let us be done with this.

Wait. I wanna know
what they went through.

Wohs em rieht yenruoj!

[car honks]

[children screaming]

[Klarion laughing]

[gasps]

- [children cheering]
- They did it!

They sent us home!

[Penny] Now, can I go to the bathroom?

- [children cheering]
- [Penny groaning]

[Doctor Fate] Farewell, Sorceress.

Until your turn comes around.

[groans]

Zatanna? Are you all right?

[Conner] Help me! Please!

I'm... not sure.

But I think I saw
Conner's spirit... his ghost.

And he wasn't at rest.

He needs help.

[Black Canary] Well, I've been
counseling a lot of them,

on and off, for the last ten years.

When they first told me their story,

I could hardly believe it.

But somehow they had my private number

and a mystic reference from,

what was then, an impossibly
adult version of your daughter.

Plus they told me things,
gave me foreknowledge,

which I couldn't possibly share...

until now.

Penny graduates college next week.

She's an engineer,
wants to build safer bridges.

And Charlie, he moved to Atlanta,

but he still drives a school bus.

Frankly, he might just be
the bravest man I ever met.

But we're here to talk
about your ten years, Giovanni,

not mine.

[Zatara] Oh, there isn't much to say.

My faith in God
and my love for my daughter

got me through the...

through the...

[Canary] The long night?

[Zatara's breath trembling]
The long night.

[Zatara crying]

[Granny Goodness sighs]

I understand your grief.

These so-called heroes,
your so-called friends,

are jealous of your strength and grace.

Twice they've denied you power.

The power that is your birthright.

You owe them nothing, my dear,

for they only seek to turn you
into nothing.

Into a nobody.

[sighing in frustration] Why
listen to these petty fools

who wish to keep you down?

To force you to be unimpressive

only that they might seem
more impressive

in the absence of your true glory.

You must see there is no longer any need

to obey their rules, their strictures.

Advice they claimed
to offer for your sake

was always just a ploy
to minimize you...

to keep you small.

[whispering] Say it, child.

Say the word.

You know you want to.

[whispers] Shazam.

[thunder cracking]