06x01 - Kate Fosters

[bunniefuu]

NATHAN: Previously, on "Workin' Moms:"

Nathan Foster lives here, right?

Oh. Oh, you know Nathan?

I... think he's my dad.

♪♪♪

(UTENSILS CLINK)

♪♪♪

KATE: (READS) "Dear Nathan,

"if you're reading this letter,
it means I'm already gone.

"And I can only imagine finding out

"about our son like this

has come as a complete shock."

What the f*ck, Nathan,
what does this mean?

I think it means I have...

I have a teenage son. Maybe.

Why, because some random
ex of yours says so?

I mean, who is this woman?
She could be psychotic.

Marlene wasn't psychotic.

She named him Nathan, Nathan!

Honey...

Why are you so calm right now,
Jesus Christ!

I-I'm not, I'm processing.

Well, maybe you can process
what we're supposed to do here,

and let me know,
because what, is he just...

Is he supposed to move in?

Because he is a stranger and
we only have three bedrooms,

- and where is he gonna go?
- Kate, slow down.

I'm sure we can figure
out the bedroom situation.

First things first, we do a DNA test.

Confirm he and I are even related.

Right, right.

(IN UNISON) Can you pass the cheese?

- Jesus Christ.
- You can...

- No, please, after you.
- Okay.

Here you go. (SMALL LAUGH)

(GRINDING)

(UTENSILS CLINK)

(SLURPING IN UNISON)

KATE: "I'm sorry I didn't
tell you about him sooner,

"but years ago when
you broke up with me,

"you made it crystal clear

"you didn't want a kid in your life.

"But now that he is in your life,

"I need you to look after him,

"which shouldn't be too hard,

"because he's just like you,

life of the party..."
Has this woman met you?

- I keep telling you, I am fun.
- Oh my God.

"By the way,
I may have embellished a few details

"about your life.

Sorry about that."

Hey Dad, is it true that
you were a boxing champion?

Well, I, took a few boxercise classes.

I was pretty decent, actually.

That's so cool.

Is it also true that you're
a master saxophone player?

Mom said you were the
best she ever heard.

(SCOFFS) The best?
You've never touched a saxophone.

(LAUGHS) Can you imagine!

I have enjoyed listening to one.

It's a great sound.
You're actually the reason

I took up the sax.

Well...

Very cool, my man!

Didn't your mom also
say that your dad d*ed

when the plane he was piloting, was it,

crashed into the Pacific?

That's where she was wrong. He survived.

(LAUGHS)

Mm-hmm.

- Let's make a toast. To Nate!
- Mm!

Actually, it's Nathan.

My mom was really adamant about that.

She would say, "everyone loves a Nathan,

but they hate a Nate."

Well, I have to interject there,
nobody hates a Nate.

I think it was out of
respect for my dad.

Well, your dad's right here,
and he's fine with Nate.

- I'm great with Nate.
- He's great with Nate.

Maybe you should be Nate.

Yeah, but then we're Nate and Kate,
and um...

that's super weird. So...

I-I feel strongly about this.

- To Nathan Jr., then.
- Hmm?

- Okay, sure.
- (LAUGHS)

- Cheers.
- Here we...

- (GLASSES CLINK)
- Go!

And listen, I know
you've only been here a few days,

but this is your place now,
so make yourself at home,

okay, you don't need to
stay cooped up in that room.

Spread out! (LAUGHS)

- Right, Kate?
- Hmm? Yes.

Yes. Yes.

It's important that uh,

you should feel comfortable here.

It's actually important
that we should all

feel comfortable here,
if you think about it.

Thanks, Dad.

You're welcome, Son.

♪♪♪

(JARS RATTLE)

(YAWNS)

(SIGHS)

Oh! What the... hell?

NATHAN JR.: Dad told me to spread out.

Don't my mom and dad look happy there?

Yeah, yeah.

♪♪♪

(GROANS) He's f*cking with me,

you know that, right?

No way, he's not f*cking with you.

He is, and it makes perfect sense.

He had his mom all to
himself for years,

and now he wants you all to himself.

I think you might be
reading a little too much

- into this photo.
- Am I? Look at it.

He couldn't have chosen
something less erotic?

What do you mean?

Like how you're grabbing her ass?

Yeah, no, I see it.

Look, we can talk about this later.

I have to get to work.

You're gonna pick up the kids today?

No, hey, you said you were going to.

Sloane's still pissed at me,
and I've got a pitch later.

g*dd*mn it, I'm behind on everything.

- You said you were going to get them!
- I can pick them up.

- Oh no...
- Oh, that'd be great!

Oh, sorry, it's just um,
it's-it's a big responsibility,

- right, little guys.
- Yeah, I wanna help out.

Well, if he wants to pitch in,
we should let him.

Yeah, all right, all right.
I'll-I'll let the school know.

You don't mind me putting
Coltrane in the fridge, do you?

- Sorry, who?
- My pet frog.

It's a way to induce hibernation.

- Mom taught me how to do it.
- What was she,

- a marine biologist?
- Yes.

Cool, that's cool.

Marine biologist and a uh, supermodel.

She wasn't a supermodel.

I mean, she could've been.

It's okay if I put him in there, right?

- Yeah, sure. Yeah.
- Yes, yeah, why not?

(JARS RATTLE)

Sleep well, Coltrane.

Oh, look at that, saxophone,
you weren't kidding.

We've got a little Kenny G in the house.

Kenny G's a smooth jazz guy.
I'm into free jazz.

It's like jazz, but...
without the rules.

My mom and I had this
Friday night tradition.

She would make moussaka,
and we'd listen to jazz.

The only thing missing was you.

Right.

♪♪♪

(PHONE VIBRATES)

- Hi.
- ROSIE: Kate!

Look, I don't know how much
longer I'm gonna be here,

Sloane is um... punishing me.

Okay, well, um,
the clients are already here.

- What do you want me to do?
- sh*t.

Uh, uh, uh, stall them.
I'll be there soon as I can...

Oh! I think I might have some movement.

- I might have some movement.
- No-no-no-no-no, no. Kate!

Hi.

Ms. Mitchell offers her apologies,

but it seems her
meeting is running long.

Is it? Is her meeting running long?

Yes. She asked that you go

through these manuscripts and develop

some PR angles by tomorrow.

It's just that she's so busy.

- Slammed.
- Slammed, is she?

♪♪♪

(SCOFFS)

So yeah, that's when I realized

I wanted to switch my
major to public relations.

Okay, look, I'm really sorry,

but we've been waiting for over an hour,

and I thought my meeting
was with Kate Foster.

Yeah, and she is nearly here.

- Oh my God.
- Wait! Pastry?

Store-bought, I presume?

You know what's in those things?

BHA, BHT, sodium benzoate.

Basically poison.

Hey! Oh!
Thank you for waiting, I am so sorry!

I'm Kate Foster,
I see you've met Rosie, here.

Please, help yourself to some pastries.

No!

- She doesn't like the pastries.
- Yeah, obviously.

Well, it's a pleasure to meet you,

I'm sorry you missed our meeting.

Wait, hold on, please.
I've-I've had this meeting

circled in my books
for a very long time.

Your company is so impressive. Please.

Well, the only reason I'm even here

is because Ginnie thinks we need PR.

And she's not wrong.

Any company that's growing
at the rate yours is,

needs a strategy.

In the trash, how about that,
would you sit?

(LAUGHS) All right, okay.
All right, all right,

I'm sitting. Jesus H., oh my God.

Great, because I would love to hear

how Goldie's Goodness came about.

Well, it all began
when my granddaughter,

Ginnie here's little girl,

got into some window cleaner,

and drank a half a
liter of the damn stuff.

- Jesus.
- Nearly k*lled her.

Doctors had to pump her stomach,

it was the worst day of my life.

Yeah, but it did inspire
some of the best days.

Because me and Ginnie
started developing our line

of all-natural cleaning products.

Safe enough to swallow. (SPRITZES)

- Oh! Okay.
- Oh!

Because if it's toxic enough to k*ll ya,

it shouldn't be in your house, right?

Uh, I say that all the time.

We always thought this would be more

of a neighbourhood venture,
but the brand sorta took off.

And now is the time to
capitalize off that buzz.

I mean, that personal story,

ah, that's your hook.

I mean, people eat that stuff up,
that's your angle.

Yeah, well, we're not
really a "hooks" and "angle"

kinda company.

I've literally never heard
her use those words before.

Now, hold on, if you want PR,
this is part of it.

Hooks, angles,

that's how you break
through the clutter.

Well, interesting, because it sounds

kind of manipulative to me.

You say manipulative, I say effective.

Well, call me old-fashioned,

but when someone is two hours late,

and they're telling me to
exploit my family's history,

that's my cue to leave.

Hang on, let me just... please.

Ginnie. Ladies.

Honestly,
if I could just get one more...

Okay. Okay.

(SIGHS)

Well, that-that was
just a miscommunication.

I'm pretty sure we can fix this.

Rosie, I appreciate your positivity,

but you saw how quickly
they ran outta here.

It's just their products are so good.

I have their all-purpose spray,
and it smells like happiness.

Sorry to interrupt.

Foster, I need you to sign
this contract I just closed.

You locked the, the cranberry people?

- Wow. Huh.
- You know,

while we're doing this,
maybe you can sign this one, too?

Atlas? Jesus, you're on fire.

Oh, I'm also gonna need you
to sign off on another one

I just landed...

God, what's the name? (SNAPS FINGERS)

Just so many.

- What is wrong with me?
- Early onset dementia?

Too many clients, Rosie.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but you just

- lost a client, right?
- Is that what

people are saying? Because Goldie's...
I mean, she just...

she had to leave, but..

I wouldn't say we lost them.

Gotta get back to keeping
Kate Foster PR afloat.

Guess we saved each other, huh, boss?

(HISSES)

- Did you just hiss at me?
- No.

It sounded like a hiss.

He's not wrong, I did hiss.

- But I'm not proud of it.
- (WEARY SIGH)

Hey, no sorry, I'm running late.

I just had to grab something at home

that I picked up for you,
it's sort of like a little

housewarming sort of...

thing.

(HORROR MOVIE MUSIC STING)

♪♪♪

Oh my God.

♪♪♪

Ohhh! Yikes.

- Psychotic, right?
- Well...

Oh God, that kid is coming for me.

He is coming for me hard. I'm not crazy.

No, you're not crazy,

but remember when your dad d*ed?

You weren't exactly yourself.

Yeah, I started wearing beanies.

I didn't turn my living room
into a true-crime documentary!

I mean, I mean, every face of mine,
covered with this.

Covered with the same pic. The same pic.

Me, her. Her, me.
I'm goin' f*ckin' nuts, Anne!

Uh, I remember you doing some weird,
self-destructive stuff.

And you're an adult.
He's a -year-old kid.

- So?
- So step up, show a little compassion

- for what he's going through.
- (RELUCTANT GROAN)

Fine! But I'm still
sleeping with a baseball bat

under my mattress.

Well, you want back pain, be my guest.

So? What do you think of my downgrade?

Will you shut up?
This house is gorgeous.

Yeah, well, I should've gone
with the g*n-girl cover.

- What?!
- At least my book would've stood out,

maybe sold enough copies
to keep my old house.

- (SIGHS)
- I know, I'm sorry,

I shouldn'tve said that.
I love the cover.

You better. Because I'm still
paying the price for it.

Ugh, Sloane.

- You okay?
- Yeah,

I think I just need
some semblance of normalcy.

You know, new house,
Lionel's still stuck in Cochrane.

Okay, well,
he is going to get outta there.

- Eventually.
- Yes.

- And until then...
- (BOX THUDS)

- I got you something!
- What is this?

A little housewarming present.

Hey, this is really classy
coming from you.

What can I say? I'm an elegant bitch.

Wow!

What the f*ck?! Is this a d*ck?

(LAUGHS) Great, right?

I have kids, you clown!

Then only take it out at night.

Mommy's special blanket. I gotta go.

Ugh! I'm gonna go show some compassion

to that sweet, sweet stepson of mine.

- Bye!
- Bye!

Enjoy your new house!

(UNENTHUSIASTIC GRUNT, DOOR SHUTS)

(BIRDS CHIRP)

"If you're looking for a dish
to impress the whole family,

look no further than moussaka."

- ("ZORBA THE GREEK" PLAYS)
- Yeah.

Okay.

(Kn*fe THUDS)

(MUTTERING) Don't have time for that...

Several at a time. Several at a time.

(WHIRRING)

♪♪♪

Oh! Don't be a bitch!

Don't be a f*cking bitch!

g*dd*mn assh*le bitch!

(BOTTLES CLINK)

(SIGHS HEAVILY)

♪♪♪

Gently add two pounds of ground beef.

(PHONE VIBRATES)

- Hey Rosie, what's up?
- I did it!

I got you another meeting with Goldie!

What? How?

Well, she called the office
to officially pass,

and we got to talking.

Well, mostly I talked about
how much I love her brand.

- That's amazing.
- And she is willing

to hear you out one more time.

- Seriously?
- But she's making

her decision tonight,

- so you've gotta go meet her now.
- Now?

- And you have to go to her.
- (EXHALES) Jesus Christ.

But I think it's worth it, Kate.

This company is on the verge
of seriously blowing up!

- (expl*si*n, SPLAT)
- (MUSIC STOPS)

Kate? Hello? You there?

- (LID CLATTERS, GASPS)
- Kate?

Oh no, no, don't be a frog.

Don't be a frog.

Kate?

Ohhh!

- Aaaah!
- You there?

Hey, you think we could reschedule

this meeting for tomorrow,
I might have a situation on my han...

No, Kate, you don't understand,
you have to go now!

She's expecting you, and we need this!

Okay. Okay. It's important, yeah?

Okay, uh...
I'll just um, let me clean up,

and I'll be right over.

(CALMING EXHALE)

(CAR RUMBLES)

(KNOCKING)

Where is she?

(KNOCKING)

f*ckin' missed her.

(GROANS)

- (DOORS OPENS, SHUTS)
- All right.

(EXHALES)

- (SEATBELT CLICKS)
- Okay.

- (ENGINE TURNS)
- All right. Oh!

It took you long enough,

- might as well just pull right in.
- Okay, thank you.

Well, I'm all ears.

Look, I know I screwed up.

And I know you're a family-run business,

and then letting someone
new in can be hard.

So I'll tell you what.

(SIGHS) You're in the driver's seat.

Your terms, no hooks, no angle, no spin.

I'll just be there to
guide you if you need me.

Well, it takes guts
to admit when you're wrong.

Well, thank you.

I actually hate
admitting when I'm wrong.

It like, hurts me, you know.

I usually secretly think I'm right,
but you're right,

it takes guts. (CHUCKLES)

This time, I am wrong though,
and you are right, so.

Well, what I was trying to say

was that I may have
been wrong about you.

Oh, so you got the guts.

You know, I sat through one
slick PR pitch after another

all week, and I hated every one of them.

But you're the only one
who seems to have listened.

I'd like to give you a chance.

R... that's fantastic.

You will not be disappointed.

- I'd better not be.
- You won't be.

- Better not.
- You won't.

Better not.

Great, then, let's make it official.

Great, I'll have you
into the office tomorrow,

- we'll go through the paperwork, and...
- Oh, nonsense,

my handshake is
as good as my John Hancock.

Oh, even better. (LAUGHS)

Hmm. You're blood now.

Welcome to the family, Kate Foster.

Thank you.

(HAPPY EXHALE)

- (PHONE VIBRATES)
- Oh.

(SMALL LAUGH) Hey,
I just had the most k*ller meeting.

Where's Nathan Jr.?

Oh, he should be home with
Charlie and Ella by now.

Oh, Charlie and Ella are home,

but there's no sign of Nathan Jr.

- Charlie and Ella were alone?
- I know, but they're fine.

- The kids are fine.
- Okay.

I know we haven't known him long,

but this just doesn't seem like him,

to take off without a word.

I mean, he literally called
me when he got to school

to say he arrived safely.

I mean, what could've set him off?

I think I might know.

Is that Coltrane?

It all happened so fast.

Now, when you discovered
that you had um...

blown up the frog.

Oh, well, um, I uh, you know, whoops.

You know, and I saw it,

and honestly it was such
an easy mistake to make

because it was a tupperware.

So I just sort of
gathered all the stuff.

I could tell he was at peace,
though, just from the...

sort of... and put it in the garbage.

The garbage, huh?

Yeah, I didn't know what to do.

What you should've done
is put it in the compost.

My mistake.

Does he have any friends
he may have gone to?

Honestly, we haven't heard
of a single friend.

Except for the frog.

Most runaways come home
within an hour or two,

if he's not back within hours,
give us a call.

- Thanks.
- Thank you, officer.

(FOOTSTEPS RECEDE)

(SIGHS)

(LIGHT CLICKS ON)

(APOLOGETIC EXHALE)

Sorry, buddy.

(SIGHS)

NATHAN JR.: Hey,
you've reached Nathan Podeski,

please leave a message,
and I'll get back...

- (CALL ENDS)
- (SIGHS)

(WEAK BLOW)

- (SQUEAKS)
- Kid's talented.

- Um, what are you doing?
- Hey! Hi.

You-you're okay, thank God.

I'll text your dad,
he's out there looking for you.

Um, I'm sorry about Coltrane.

Did you boil him from the inside

- because I ruined your photos?
- What? No!

It was a horrible accident, truly.

Listen, I'm uh...

I'm on unchartered
territory here, and uh,

I'm gonna make some mistakes,

maybe even...
some grave ones for which I am deeply,

deeply sorry.

I hope you can forgive me
and be patient with me,

because I just, I want
to make you feel welcome here,

I really do.

I'm sorry I left Charlie and Ella alone,

- I shouldn't have done that.
- No, you shouldn't have.

I know it must be weird
having to care for someone

- that you barely even know.
- No!

But you're now a part
of my family as much

as I'm a part of yours.

I like that.

(CHAIN RATTLES)

You got me a necklace? That's so nice.

- Thank you.
- It was my mom's.

It's your mother's necklace.

It would mean a lot to me
if you'd wear it.

Huh? You want me to wear this?

I do.

I think it's nice.

Yeah, it's a real statement piece.

The way it knocks into my collar bones,

I'm pretty sure I'm gonna bruise. Oy!

I mean, I like it on you.

Yeah? You like this?

Hmm? How about this?

You like this staring back
at you from around my neck?

Does that feel normal to you?

This is like the picture on
the fridge all over again.

He is messing with me.
He's trying to push us apart,

and get you all to himself,
and make me crazy!

Or he's trying to keep her memory alive.

(KNOCKING)

Oh, hey, buddy.

I um, I can't shake the image
of Coltrane in the microwave.

- (SIGHS)
- Poor guy.

Yeah, I'm sorry again
about that, I, um...

Which is why I'd really like
to sleep here with you, Dad.

Oh. Of course.

Wait, what?

- He's mourning.
- Right.

Oh, I'm-I'm sure we can
all squeeze in here, Kate.

Or you can sleep in my room.

Your room?

Sure.

Okay.

You guys look pretty cute. (CHUCKLES)

Okay.

♪ Throw it on the fire ♪

- Sleep tight.
- (NECKLACE CHAIN RATTLES)

♪ Let's throw it on the fire ♪

♪ Let's throw it on the fire ♪

♪ Let's throw it on the fire ♪