Hey, Stace, feel like coming over
for some pre-bust strategizing?
No can do. Gotta babysit.
Why don't you call Jeremy?
Oh, he's doing some sports thingy.
Candace: Meh, it's not my thing.
Ooh. A whole day without Jeremy
and you're not obsessing about it?
Who are you and what have
you done with Candace?
Silly BFF, Jeremy likes me for who I am.
It's like we're one.
When I breathe in, he breathes out.
His heart says, "knock, knock,"
and my heart says, "who's there?"
And the answer is "us."
[Candace giggles]
Remember those days when
I was always panicking
about what he thought or what
he would or wouldn't like?
- Ancient history.
- That was yesterday.
Candace, I'm going to the store.
- Do you need anything?
- Nah, I'm good.
- Okay.
- Oh wait, I am out of toothpaste.
- All right. Got it.
- And deodorant.
Oh, and pimple cream, loofah
pads, body tape, hair dye,
cucumber slices, fungal cream...
You know what? Why
don't you just come along
so I don't spend the whole
day in the teen hygiene aisle?
Someone has to be around
to bust Phineas and Ferb!
Candace, they're playing baseball.
It's not exactly a punishable offense.
Oh, but it will be! It will be!
Think of it this way, Candace,
the faster I shop, the sooner
I come home to bust the boys!
What are we waiting for?
Come on, come on! Chop-chop!
Hello? Hello?
Hello?
Okay, Isabella, eep
your eye on the ball!
- Whoa! Great hit!
- Power hitter patch, check!
Your analysis of the pitch's angle
and trajectory was most impressive.
Only you can nerdify a
great sport like baseball.
Buford, hitting a baseball
involves the basic principles
of velocity, force and geometry.
Buford: You're visualizing numbers
in the air again, aren't ya?
Ferb, I know whate we're gonna do today.
We can use geometric algorithms
to build the ultimate batting challenge.
- Well?
- It's not as bad when he does it.
[sighs] I cannot argue.
So, where is Perry?
Oh, he's at home.
[chattering]
He's not doing much.
What's over here?
Morning, Agent P.
As you can see, I, uh,
I've had a little shaving mishap
with this defective electric razor.
Just not comfortable with my eyebrows
moving independently of each other.
Carl: But you are rockin'
the reverse mohawk, sir.
Get with it, Carl.
The hip kids refer to it as a "hawkmo."
Anyhow, Agent P, retail stores
all across the Tri-State area
are reporting a huge influx of returned
faulty items and coincidentally,
Doofenshmirtz has been spotted
at customer service counters.
I have a hunch that these two
unrelated things may just be related!
Now go find out if Doofenshmirtz
has anything to do with this.
Also, find out if anyone is
actually calling it a "hawkmo."
And if not, please get that started.
Candace: Ugh, this is taking forever!
We'll never get home in
time to bust the boys!
I'll tell you what. How about
you shop for your own things
- and then meet me at the register?
- Ooh, great idea!
Hygiene! Here we are.
Okay, lip wax, pimple
cream, fungal cream.
Wow! Running out of
all my most embarrassing
personal hygiene
products on the same day.
Ooh, right, deodorant!
Oh, now, which Ducky Momo
deadorant I use?
Hmm. Well, there's
only one way to be sure.
[sniffs]
Jeremy: Hey, Candace!
What you doing?
Uh... [nervous giggle]
Hey, Jeremy.
Um, yeah, I'm just trying
to reach the top shelf.
Allow me. Here we go.
One nose-hair clipper.
Do you want me to put it in your basket?
No! I mean... [giggles]
that's not my stuff.
That's my Mom's!
I was shopping for my Mom.
Yeah, my Mom has really
unruly , uh... nose hair.
Yeah, really bad, okay?
Uh, yeah, I... was on my way to the
[clicks tongue]
- the water sports section.
- I didn't know you did water sports.
'Cause I'm going to the
extreme water park today.
- Why don't you come?
- Yeah, cool!
You know, 'cause I'm so down
with the ten hanging and whatnot.
[giggling] Yeah.
Chorus: [singing]
Doofenshmirtz evil incorporated!
A-ha!
Consider yourself marked down!
Handy little shopping device, isn't it?
Anyway, you're gonna love
this segue, Perry the platypus.
All of my broken inator parts were
messing up the Feng Shui of my apartment.
Thanks, Larry.
My Feng Shui consultant.
To keep my Chi in balance,
I came up with this.
Behold!
The Back-to-the-store-inator!
Now instead of waiting in
those ridiculously long lines
at the return counter,
I scan each item...
and presto! It's transported back
to the store where I bought it!
Ow.
And here's the best
part, Perry the platypus.
I get a cash refund deposited
directly into my pockets.
No banking necessary.
[cash register dings]
The only flaw is that the
refund comes in pennies.
You know, sometimes I
don't really think through
the functionality of these things.
Jeremy: Wow, this place is intense!
- You ready, Candace?
- [stammering] Totally!
[giggles nervously]
Who in the world designed this?
Couple kids, actually.
One had a triangle head.
Wait, what? Whoo-hoo!
Phineas: [over speaker]
Welcome, sports fans!
We have a great game for you today!
It's the most extreme
batting experience ever!
The game is simple.
Each level is worth points.
The higher the level,
the harder it gets!
The first one to hit the
target at the top wins!
It's survival of the fittest,
a test of wills!
Only one contestant will survive!
No, no, no, everyone will survive.
You're going down, dweeb!
I will b*at you.
It is a mathematical certainty.
It's extreme! It's extreme!
I don't know how extreme it is.
It's, you know, big, but it
is still just a batting cage.
Let's not oversell it.
Gentlemen, start your engines!
No, no, they, they don't have engines.
Oh, oh, I guess Ferb...
Ferb has an engine.
Forgot about that.
♪ It ain't mild or morate,
safe or secure ♪
♪ it ain'meek or mellow,
docile or demure ♪
♪ it ain't peaceful or placid,
sedate or serene ♪
[whooping]
[screaming]
# what it is is ex, ex, ex #
♪ extremely extreme ♪
♪ conclusively, decidedly,
exactly, for sure ♪
♪ precisely, emphatically and definitely ♪
♪ unconventionally
and unambiguously ♪
♪ ex, ex, ex
extremely extreme ♪
♪ extremely extreme ♪
[Candace groans]
[cell phone ringing]
- Uh, hello?
- Candace, I've been
waiting at the checkout
line for a half hour!
- Where are you?
- I'm at the extreme water park with Jeremy.
What? And it never occurred
to you to let me know?
- Candace: Sorry, Mom.
- Well, I expect you to be home
by the time I get back to
help put everything away.
Yes, Mom. [groans]
- Wanna go again?
- I gotta go home.
Ah! Very resourceful,
Perry the platypus!
Using coupons to cut prices!
[stammering] Wait!
Not my baseball card collection! Oh!
Yes! I told you genies
were real, Sheila!
Wherever you are.
Aw, man. You have no idea
how much that was worth!
[cash register dings]
Although judging by the jingle... Ow.
[bell ringing]
Buford and Baljeet are tied!
And Buford steps up
to the batter's box!
Folks, you can cut the tension
with a child-safe Kn*fe!
Phineas: Here comes the pitch.
Yes!
Looking good! Looking
great! Looking fantastic!
Isabella: Denied!
Ugh.
Baljeet eyes up the target
as he steps to the plate.
Ready himself for the pitch.
And... Wow!
- What a trajectory!
- Isabella: But not enough power!
Phineas: A disappointed
Baljeet walks away.
Oh, it looks like this game
could go into sudden death.
- It could just be a tie.
- No! Sudden death!
[beam zapping] Aw, man!
Not my new flat screen!
Hey, no way!
I paid way more for that TV!
[pennies jingling]
Ow! Ow!
Carl: I would like to
return this electric razor.
Are you sure you read
the instructions, Carl?
And you're showing me
boring math equations why?
Buford, these equations show
that if we combine your brawn
with my brains we can conquer
the final target together!
Do my ears deceive me? Are you
saying we should work together?
I know! My ears cannot
believe it either.
Jeremy: Looks like we made
it back before your mom.
Yeah, sorry to have to rush...
[gasps]
I knew Phineas and Ferb
were up to something!
[car honking]
Mom's here!
Just in time to bust the boys!
- Mom!
- Don't poke the bear, Candace.
- You're in enough trouble as it is.
- But, Mom...
Now let's take these inside
before the frozens turn into...
Oh, sh**t, I must've left
the other bag at the store.
Mom! Just turn your head and
look up! [car driving away]
But... But... But...
But it's right there...
- Are those batting cages?
- Come on, Jeremy.
There's still a chance to bust them.
- This better work, dweeb.
- Just follow the trajectory I plotted out
and I promise we will
hit the final target!
- We can do this!
- Optimism makes my angry.
- Baljeet: Use it!
- Phineas: Here comes the pitch!
Isabella: Whoa, it's coming at the big one!
Folks, it's the power hit of
the evening! But is it good?
[all bells ringing]
- Phineas: It's good!
- Isabella: Whoo! Yeah!
[all cheering]
Both: Ah!
- Ooh!
- Both: Aw.
[growling] Aw, you'll
bust 'em next time, tiger.
Doofenshmirtz: You know,
chasing's not much of an option
with my pants full of pennies!
Ah, well, live and learn.
At least, you hit my clothes and not me.
I wonder what happens if a person...
Drusselstein! Hmm.
Curse you, Perry the platypus
and my wretched, wretched life.
Wow! Way to go, guys.
I guess we can work together after all.
- I hate to say you're right. So I won't.
- Fair enough.
[chattering]
Oh, there you are, Perry!
Safe at home.
[chattering]
- And what a waste.
- Hey, the day's not a total loss.
We had a great time at the water park.
- Wanna go back tomorrow?
- Uh, I have a confession to make.
The only reason I said
I liked extreme sports
was because I was embarrassed
that you caught me buying
all that hygiene stuff for myself.
Aw, nothing you do could
be that embarrassing.
Oh, Jeremy.
[farts]
Candace? Was that you?
It's a normal bodily function, Jeremy.
Get over it.
Wait, wait, I thought it was cute!
♪ It ain't peaceful or placid,
sedate or serene ♪
♪ what it is is ex, ex, ex ♪
♪ extremely extreme ♪
♪ conclusively, decidedly,
exactly, for sure ♪
♪ precisely,
emphatically and definitely ♪
♪ unconventionally
and unambiguously ♪
♪ ex, ex, ex
extremely extreme ♪
♪ extremely extreme ♪