04x37 - It's No Picnic

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Phineas and Ferb". Aired: August 2007 to November 2015.*
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Stepbrothers adventures during their summer vacation.
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04x37 - It's No Picnic

Post by bunniefuu »

♪ There's a hundred and
four days of summer vacation ♪


♪ and school comes
along just to end it ♪


♪ So the annual problem
for our generation ♪


♪ is finding a good way to spend it ♪

♪ Like maybe ♪

♪ Building a rocket,
or fighting a mummy ♪


♪ or climbing up the Eiffel Tower ♪

♪ Discovering something
that doesn't exist ♪


Hey!

♪ Or giving a monkey a shower ♪

♪ Surfing tidal waves ♪

♪ Creating nano-bots or
locating Frankenstein's brain ♪


It's over here!

♪ Finding a dodo bird,
painting a continent ♪


♪ Or driving our sister insane ♪

Phineas!

♪ As you can see, there's
a whole lot of stuff to do ♪


♪ before school starts this fall ♪

Come on, Perry.

♪ So stick with us, 'cause
Phineas and Ferb are gonna do it all! ♪


♪ So stick with us, 'cause Phineas
and Ferb are gonna do it all! ♪


Mom, Phineas and Ferb
are making a title sequence!

Come on g*ng. Let's get started
on building our mega-mondo...

Ah! No can do, dinner bell.
It's family day,

and the Van Stomms
from the low countries are visiting.

- Buford is outtie, G.
- Well, that's a bummer,

but we can come up
with some workarounds.

- So if you two...
- No can do, Phineas.

I am taking an East
Indian cooking class.

We are going to make goat vindaloo.

If we can ever find a goat.
[GOAT BLEATING]

Oh, there is one now!
Got to run!

Well, good luck!

Well, the plans will still
work with just three of us.

I'm afraid your plans will have to wait

until after Ferb's dental appointment.

- Come on, honey. Time to go.
- All right.

Wow, I've never seen Ferb so nervous.

Hmm... Well, I guess it's
just the two of us, huh?

[SQUEALING]
Isabella, are you all right?

Oh. Oh, yeah. We could
spend the day together.

- That would be fun. Whatever.
- Let's see, with only two of us,

we'd have to reallocate
some weight in order to...

Hmm. Well, maybe if we
just reduce the amount of...

[SIGHS]
Nope, that won't fly either.

You know, this is a lot
harder without Ferb around.

But he never says anything.

It's not what he doesn't say,
it's how he doesn't say it.

Well, I could get the Fireside
Girl Manual for inspiration.

That sounds great! Thanks!

Wow, even Perry's gone.
But that's pretty normal.

CHORUS: # Dooby, dooby doo, bah
Dooby, dooby, doo, bah #


♪ Perry! ♪

I see you've taken our new
breakfast-themed lair entrance.


It's the most important
lair entrance of the day.


Anyhoo, OWCA has surveillance footage

of Doofenshmirtz raiding
thrift store dollar bins.

We're not sure if it's evil, but it's...
well, it's just kind of pathetic.

Get to the bottom of this
and stop Doof's potential

poverty-driven
criminal freak-out!

And, uh, how about you pick up a cup
of coffee for him on your way over?

It's on me. Use some petty cash.

I feel bad for the poor guy.

[RINGING] [GASPING]
The Fireside Phone!

Gretchen at the ready, ma'am.
Commence debriefing.

Gretchen, we have a Code Pink!

Romeo is alone!
Repeat, Romeo is alone!

Roger that. Don't
panic, we're on our way.

Reporting for duty, ma'am.

The troop is establishing the mobile
tactical headquarters as we speak.

Nice hustle.

I know, right? With Phineas
and Ferb split up for the day,

it's practically a vacation!

Yes, I know we're already
on summer vacation, Stace.

I was just... What?
A Fireside Girls Mobile Tactical Unit?

Sorry, Stace! Gotta go!
[CELL PHONE BEEPS]

Okay, what are you doing and what
does it have to do with my brothers?

Um, it's something of a delicate matter.

- Romeo is all go!
- Delicate?

Well, you might not know,

but I have a little bit
of a crush on Phineas.

GINGER: "Little" being subjective.

- Stand down, Fireside Girl.
- Totally get the crush thing.

You know, I don't quite
get the Phineas thing.

I mean, you do realize
his head is a triangle?

- [SIGHS] Yeah. It's so acute.
- Whatever. I have got your back, sister.

I will stay out of the yard and
keep Mom out of the way, too.

Like that should be difficult.

[DOORBELL PLAYING
DOOFENSHMIRTZ EVIL INC THEME]

Oh, it's you, Perry the Platypus.

What, for me? Oh!
That's a nice gesture, thanks.

And you even used the doorbell,

instead of just crashing
through like you usually do.

I really appreciate
this, Perry the Platypus,

'cause, you know, money's
a little tight lately.

I can't even rub two nickels together.

Although, if I had two nickels,

I don't think I would
sit and rub them together.

It's...
Oh, oh, yeah, you're...


you're trapped, Perry the Platypus.

It's quick-hardening,
non-dairy creamer.

Like I said, I'm on a budget.

I know what you're
thinking, Perry the Platypus.

How could this happen to such a
with-it guy like Heinz Doofenshmirtz?

Well, my ex-wife Charlene
is out of the country

on one of those extreme
eco-cultural exploration vacations.

I don't know what
they do on those trips,

but I imagine it's very expensive.

Oh, she's got some nerve!

That's my alimony she's throwing away.

And the worst is, she
keeps texting me these pics.

[CELL PHONE VIBRATING]
Oh, come on, really?

Anyway, the problem is, I've

already spent this month's alimony
on my new inator.


And now I don't have enough
money left to send Vanessa

to the Grievance Movie
Marathon she wants to see.

They're playing all the
Grievance movies in order.

They got The Grievance,
they've got Grievance : The Gripe,

Grievance : Bone to Pick,

and Grievance : The
Revenge of the Italian Jug Band.

Yeah, I don't think
that last one is canon.

Oh, what kind of father am I?

Oh! Oh, the shame is overwhelming.

I can't even enjoy using
my new Teleport-inator.

[OMINOUS DRUMS PLAYING]

Nah, nah. I'm just not in
the mood. Maybe tomorrow.

[DRUMMING STOPS]

And it was such a stellar plan, too.

I was gonna use it to send City Hall,

and consequently my brother, Roger,

back to Drusselstein and out
of his mayoral jurisdiction.

No fuss, no muss. Just "bzzt"
and he's gone instantly.

[SIGHS]
If only it were that easy


to get Vanessa to the movie theater.

Wait... Wait a second!

I could just add another
setting to my Teleport-inator

and send Vanessa directly
to the theater and completely

bypass those ridiculously
inflated movie ticket prices.

Oh, man, am I good!
That deserves a victory sip!

[SLURPING] Ugh! Wait,
what is this? Decaf?

It's like you don't even know me!

All right, Fireside Girls,
initiating Operation Perfect Picnic.

Roger that!

Well, looks like the
operation is in Phase Two,

and I am gonna make myself scarce.

Cadet Flynn is out.
Peace!

Here we go. Well, let's
just take a look...

- You know, I'm kind of hungry.
- Well, then why not just have a picnic?

Wow! What a great idea!

And I just happen to have
a picnic basket right here!

Ooh, she's good.

Wow!
Way to be prepared, Isabella!

Just doing my Fireside Girl thang.

I packed it with some
Mexican-Jewish delicacies, like...

Gefilte-flan!
It wobbles!

BOTH: Ew!
[LAUGHING]


That looks ridiculous.

[ALARM BEEPING] Oh, no,
we've got a Code Irving!

Strike team, deploy!

Let's see what else I've got.
[GASPING]


[THUDDING]
Did you hear something?

Nope.

Mission accomplished.

Hello, ladies!
[GROWLS]

The fox hops over the log, the
rabbit crawls under the log...

Okay, got it!
Now, to send...

[THUDDING]
[CLEARS THROAT]

And now, to send my
daughter to the movies!

[TRIUMPHANT DRUMS PLAYING]

No, see, it just doesn't
work in this instance.

You know what, you guys just
take the rest of the day off.

- You wanna go see a movie?
- Yeah, sure.

How about Grievance ?

Hey, Vanessa, pumpkin pants, can
you come in here for a second?

Good news, sweetie. I can send
you to the movies after all!

Really, Dad, it's no big deal.

♪ Ducky Mo, Ducky Momo! ♪

♪ Ducky Mo, Ducky Momo! ♪

I did it! And now that my
Super Dad status is intact,

it's time to take care of business!

And by "business," I mean evil!

It's time to set my
sights on city... [GROANS]


- Hmm...
- Oh, now I get it.

Huh. I didn't count on
an oscillate function.

Somehow, I don't think
this bodes well for my plan.

That one's one of my own creations.
I call it the enchillatke.


It was delicious.

Now, here we are.
Gladys, we have a runner.

[YAWNING]

[GASPS]
Hey, Ferb! You're back!

Brilliant!
See what I mean, Isabella?

Yeah, it's how he doesn't say it.

Let's get to work. This will
be the biggest picnic ever!

I'll get the tools.

All right, girls, Union Jack is back.

Operation Perfect Picnic
is now Operation Ginormous,

Nonromantic, Overblown Picnic.

Al flabahem abla flapabla.

It's all right, big guy.
You guys just do what you do.

Looks like we're gonna
need a change of venue.

How about the park?

What do you know, no
more Perry the Platypus.

Transported to some
random location somewhere.

Ow!

Ahhh! Ow!

[CHUCKLING]
Thanks for introducing me

to the ironic enjoyment
of Ducky Momo, Candace.

Ironic, yeah!
[CHUCKLING]

So, your dad was really
raised by wild ocelots?

OMG, I wish that was the
weirdest thing about my family.

Candace? Oh. You know,
amusement parks really

aren't my thing, but
knock yourself out, girl!

♪ Ducky Mo, Ducky Momo ♪

♪ He's your very best friend ♪

Okay. I said I'd give them
space for a romantic picnic.

That is not a romantic picnic!

That is bust-town, USA.

♪ Here's where I'll make my final stand ♪

♪ I'm gonna bust my
brothers down in picnic land ♪


♪ In picnic land ♪

♪ It'll be
a pic-a-nic-a-nic-a-nic bust! ♪


♪ A pic-a-nic-a-nic-a-nic bust! ♪

♪ A pic-a-nic-a-nic-a-nic
bust! ♪


♪ A pic-a-nic-a-nic-a-nic bust! ♪

♪ I can bust them at the grill
or the hot dog on the hill ♪


♪ A pic-a-nic-a-nic-a-nic
bust! ♪


♪ I can take 'em at the waffle
tram with a side of double ham ♪


♪ A pic-a-nic-a-nic-a-nic bust! ♪

♪ This is gonna be my finest hour ♪

♪ 'Cause now I'm gonna bust
the boys with picnic power ♪


♪ It'll be a
pic-a-nic-a-nic-a-nic bust! ♪


♪ A pic-a-nic-a-nic-a-nic bust! ♪

♪ A pic-a-nic-a-nic-a-nic bust! ♪
[ALL WHOOPING]


♪ A pic-a-nic-a-nic ♪

I am so gonna relish this bust! Ma!

Honey, it'll have to wait.

I've got to go pick up
Ferb from the dentist.

Ma! Ferb's here.
At the park.

Oh, well, he must've gotten out early.
I'm on my way.

Try our famous Tjinder family vindaloo.

No, no, try our Van
Stomm family bitterballen.

- Try the vindaloo!
- Bitterballen!

- Vindaloo!
- Bitterballen!

[BOTH GRUNTING] Hey, you got
your bitterballen in my vindaloo.

And you got your vindaloo
all over my bitterballen.

I wonder if these two great
tastes will taste great together?

- Nah, we should k*ll this with fire.
- Agreed.

Ahh!

Help! Ow!

[SHRIEKS] What happened?

Something just happened!
I smell bitterballen!

Where are we?
Hey, not bad!

I could totally go for a
mid-afternoon nosh. What are you doing?

Curse you, Perry the...

- Over here! You gotta see this!
- Oh, Candace, you're right.

- I am?
- That is just adorable.

- What?
- Wow, I don't know where it all went.

It's a good thing we
brought our own basket, huh?

[ISABELLA SQUEALING]

[SLAPPING HERSELF]
Yes. Yes, it is.


Come on, Candace. Let's go home.

But-but-but, a whole park!

- Yep, and just the two of them.
- CANDACE: I get it. But, ew.
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