04x39 & 04x40 - Operation Crumb Cake; Mandace

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Phineas and Ferb". Aired: August 2007 to November 2015.*
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Stepbrothers adventures during their summer vacation.
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04x39 & 04x40 - Operation Crumb Cake; Mandace

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♪ There's a hundred and
four days of summer vacation ♪


♪ and school comes
along just to end it ♪


♪ So the annual problem
for our generation ♪


♪ is finding a good way to spend it ♪

♪ Like maybe ♪

♪ Building a rocket,
or fighting a mummy ♪


♪ or climbing up the Eiffel Tower ♪

♪ Discovering something
that doesn't exist ♪


Hey!

♪ Or giving a monkey a shower ♪

♪ Surfing tidal waves ♪

♪ Creating nano-bots or
locating Frankenstein's brain ♪


It's over here!

♪ Finding a dodo bird
Painting a continent ♪


♪ Or driving our sister insane ♪

Phineas!

♪ As you can see, there's
a whole lot of stuff to do ♪


♪ before school starts this fall ♪

Come on, Perry.

♪ So stick with us, 'cause
Phineas and Ferb are gonna do it all! ♪


♪ So stick with us, 'cause Phineas
and Ferb are gonna do it all! ♪


Mom, Phineas and Ferb
are making a title sequence!

Isabella: Thanks for showing
me the old scrap books, nana.


I love hearing about the old days.
Tell me a thing about string-yard {*}

and what it was like to get up
and change the channel on the TV.

Oh, that's so cute, honey.
Look at how old-fashioned I still am.

I'm writing letter. By hand!

Why don't you just text or call them?

[chuckles] You kids know nothing
of the lost art of letter writing.

Back when we were young,

we expressed our truest
feelings in letters.

Yes! You could tell someone
how much they meant to you

without worrying about getting
interrupted, or losing your nerve.

Or hiccupping.
That was my problem.

When I was young, I had
a crush on a certain boy

and I wrote a letter
telling him how I truly felt.

That boy ended up
being your grandfather.

Wow, I've been wanting to tell
someone how I feel for a long time now.

Really?
I've got an extra pen and paper.

Now take your time, deeply search
your feelings, express yours...

I've been scripting this
thing out in my head for years.

Perfect timing!
The postman's here.

Add this to your bag, my good sir.

So nana, what he did
when he got your letter?

Did he come running to you
and sweep you into his arms?

What? Oh, no, I never mailed it!
I'm not brave like you.

I mean, what if he had
laughed at me or shown the


letter to his friends? Can
you imagine the embarrassment?


Oh, boy.

Hon, why do you have all these
boxes of take-out food thingies?

It's such a waste to get rid of them.

See?
Look, chopsticks and ponzu sauce.

That's Japanese, but look, there's
also a Chinese fortune cookie.

- That's what's known as "fusion."
- Okay, I'm hungry.

Oh, let's go get some food.
Would you kids like to come along?

No thanks, dad. We had
fusion for breakfast.

Alright then! I'll clear all these
drawers and boxes out later, darling.

- See you, boys! [door closing]
- Hey, Ferb, let's do dad a favor

and clear these drawers
and boxes out for him.

Oh, look at this.
It's like a spoon and a fork together.

What would you even called that?

- In the U.K., they call that a "foon."
- They do not.

It's a perfect fusion of
aesthetics and utility.

- It's like a little work of art. Ferb...
- What are you doing?

- Helping dad by clearing out this stuff.
- You're doing a chore?

[chuckles] No way are you getting
all the parent points.

I've got chores to do, too.
Carry on.

You know, the drawer in our kitchen
is full of honey and ketchup.

Yeah, and ours has red pepper flakes
and little tubs of grated cheese.

Well, go home and grab it, guys.
We're gonna make some art.

Hey, where's Perry?

[chattering]

Agent P, it seems that
Doofenshmirtz is into astrology now,


and that makes him very dangerous to us.
I know what you're thinking.


I was like you. I always thought
horoscopes were a bunch of hooey.


But then I read my own horoscope.
I'm a sagittarius.


It said, "it's a bad
day to get a haircut."


How spooky is that?
I had my hair cut yesterday!


Today would be a bad
day to get a haircut.


How do they know that stuff?

If Doof figured out the
astrological signs of our agents,


he could predict our every move!

Excuse me, sir, I believe
horoscopes are meant


for entertainment rather
than to be taken as fact.


Of course you'd think that, Carl.
You're a capricorn!


You know what to do, Agent P!

Thinking: Oh, come on, Isabella.

What's so bad about writing a
letter and expressing my feelings?


Feelings are natural.
Phineas is natural.


We are both natural beings in the world...

with feelings.

Oh...

Did I really refer to him as "my
little crumb cake"? Who does that?


- [beeps] Come in, Fireside Girls!
- Go ahead, chief.

I just mailed a letter stating
my true feelings to Phineas,

and we need to stop
it before he reads it.

This mission is top priority.
I call it "operation Crumb Cake."

Crumb cake?
Is that what you called him?

[all giggling]

Oh, boy, it's worse than I thought.

- Wow! Artsy!
- Yeah, we're really getting into it.

Who knew that making an art piece

out of old take-out
stuff would be so fun?

It is almost like Tadeshi Kawamata's

massive chair sculpture in Abu Dhabi.

Or the sub lyric pile Killabuster
with onion on marble

- in Salzburg, Austria.
- Really?

Actually, I think he
just made that one up.

Chorus: [singing]
Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated!


Doofenshmirtz: Oh,
hello, Perry the platypus.


Could you be a sport and shut the door?

It gets really drafty in here.
Give it a good slam,

sometimes it sticks.
[thud] [laughs]


Bet you never dreamt you'd
get caught in a dream catcher.

Actually, Norm made that this morning.
Who knew he was so crafty?

Anyway, my astrologer
believes that when mercury is

in retrograde anything can
go wrong and usually does.

And you know she's always right.

She has dark hair and
bangs, and you know.

As it turns out, mercury has
been in retrograde all summer!

No wonder my evil schemes keep failing.

And that is why I invented
the Un-retrograde-inator!

You know, to reverse my bad luck.

You know, I know that un-retrograde
is sort of a double negative.

It sounds like I'm making
mercury go forwards,

but I'm actually sending
it backwards from going

bachwards, which happens to
look forward, but it isn't.

You know what? Basically
it's a reverse-inator,

but un-retrograde-inator,
it sounded more astrology-y.

Look, you know, I'll just
show you how it works.

Oh, Norm, could you come
over here for a moment?

I'm almost finished cleaning
up your mid-morning pinata, sir.

Yeah, yeah, que bueno, Norm.

- Now just stand right there.
- Okey-dokey.

Oh my! I have the sudden urge to dump

- your pinata pieces back on the floor.
- It works!

Now I am going to push the
giblets back into the chicken.

Isabella singing: # Postmaster
general, please help me out #


♪ I wrote a boy a letter
now I'm filled with doubt ♪


♪ it was a sentimental notion ♪

♪ to spell out my emotion that way ♪

♪ before I have a heart
att*ck I need my letter back ♪


♪ I need a retraction ♪

♪ a full-scale rejection ♪

♪ at least if I could
edit it and soften the tone ♪


♪ please, just believe
it I have to retrieve it ♪


♪ don't say my opportunity
has already flown ♪


Backup singers: # already flown #

♪ oh, why did I ever sign my name? ♪

♪ I don't want to be
forever stamped in shame ♪


♪ I'd have to move to Belgium
and wear a really bad toupee ♪


♪ so before I have a heart att*ck ♪

♪ she needs her letter back ♪

♪ it could be in this very stash ♪

♪ she needs her letter back ♪

♪ it's hard to overstate this fact ♪

♪ I need my letter back ♪

We'll never catch them this way.

But we will get that letter back!

No matter how nicely or
politely we have to ask.

We'll cut them off at
Phineas's house. Let's go!

Now I'm going to put food
waste back on the dishes.

Yes, yes, thank you, Norm.
Does this make sense to you? Listen:

"Someone is secretly
speaking on your behalf."

Norm: Time to unmake the coffee.

It sounds positive for me and I like
that, but who is speaking nicely of me?

Wait, was it you, Perry the platypus?

Next, I'll un-make my dream catcher.

No, no, don't do that!

You never let me finish my sentences.

Hey, look! Looks like we're
here before the mail's come.

Okay, girls, let's seal up this area.

Holly, you go take up
a scanning position one

half-click to the North.
Ginger, you got the South.

The rest of you, fan out.
We've got to intercept that letter.

I'm going in back to
keep Phineas distracted.

- Any questions?
- Yeah!

How long has this mailbox been here?

Oy!

Now to un-brush my teeth.

What am I doing?

Sir, the effect of
your ray has worn off.

I'm so happy for you.

Listen, could you get
this platypus off me?

Wow, is he hard to catch!

You're just noticing
this, huh? Go get him!

Heya! [laughs nervously]
So what you doin'?

What do you think?
The world's largest art piece

made entirely of takeout
food packets and utensils!


- Oh, wow. Artsy.
- Right? Can I show you around?

Sure!

Here, Baljeet has thoughtfully recreated

Gainsborough's the Blue boy

completely in red pepper flakes.

I wish I would have thoughtfully
created an eye-wash station.

Sheesh!

Watch your step up the chopstick ladder.

From here you can see
the whole neighborhood!

Phineas! Uh...
Look! Let's change places!

The light catches the foons
so beautifully from this angle.

[Ferb whistling]

Awesome. The mail's here.

Wonder if that comic
book I ordered arrived?

No, no! Wait!

Hey! This doesn't look
like a chore to me!

It looks like a bust!

The stamp is on the envelope.

Excuse me, but do you
have a letter in your bag

addressed to Danville
resident Phineas Flynn?

Hmm, looks like I do.

We demand that you hand it
over to us immediately. Please.

I'm sorry, it is unlawful
for a postal carrier

to deliver any envelope or parcel

into hands of anyone except
the intended recipient,

as indicated in the address
column of said envelope or parcel.

What about afterwards? Can
we jump him and wrestle it

- out of his hands?
- Honey, what you do with your afternoon

- is none of my business.
- Phineas: Hey, Mrs. Ferguson!

- Did my comic book arrive today?
- No, just this letter.

[gasps]
Oh, look! It's from you, Isabella!

Thinking: Well, Isabella, here it is.

He's finally going to
know how you really feel.


There's no turning back now.

Come back here.
Now I've got...

rhythm?

At least you told the truth
and you spoke from your heart.


I can accept this.

Phineas: "Dear Phineas..."

Aw, and there's a little heart!

Oh, no, I just realized

I may have put the
giblets in the hamster.

Ha! Gotcha!
See, I began to think,

"if only I had a nickel for every time

"you pushed my inator's
self-destruct button."

Then it hit me, you wouldn't
have a nickel either,

because you don't have any pockets!

Wait, what are you...
Oh, I forgot about your hat.


Curse you, Perry the pla...

See? You never let me
finish my sentences.


Aw!

- Of course.
- Phineas: Why did I do that?

There was, like, a whole bunch of
stuff the boys were clearing out.

Speaking of stuff,
what's up with your room?

Yep. I'm on it.

Well, I guess, we'll never
know what was in that letter.

No, I guess not.
And neither will your little Crumb Cake.

Millie! [whistling]

Phineas: An almost perfect day to
build another one of our inventions.


[beeping]

Buford: Hey, dinner bell.
Where do you want this crate


- of hoojimagawas?
- Phineas: Right there is good, Buford.


Baljeet: How about
these helicopter blades?


Phineas: Just lean them up
against the tree for now.


- Baljeet: - , buddy.
- Buford: Why do you sound


like you're in a s road comedy?

- There was a cable marathon on last night.
- Buford: Oh, I missed it!


Isabella: Heads up! More
random construction equipment


for an as-yet- unidentified
project coming in.


[chattering]

[footsteps approaching]

At this rate, I'll be late
for my creative writing class.


Agent P! No need to walk
all the way down here!


I'll just give you your
mission on the staircase!


Doofenshmirtz has been
experimenting with image technology.


It's very suspicious.
We need you to go check it out.


Good luck, Agent P.

[footsteps retreating]

Idea for TV spinoff,
"Platypus in a staircase."


Stace, the thing with boys is, I
just don't get them. You think they're

saying one thing, but then you don't
know if they really mean something else.

They're like those egyptian
drawings that no one understands.

You mean, like, hieroglyphics?
Those were deciphered

in the early s after
they found the rosetta stone.

Fine! They're like something
else no one understands.

- Like, how do you know that?
- I dunno.

Okay, take the conversation
I just had with Jeremy.

I suggested we go to the movies later,
and he said, "cool."

And what does that mean?
I mean, did he mean,

like, "cool, I totally
wanna hang out with you"?

Or, "cool, I really
wanna see that movie"?

Or, "cool, like I think
you're being cold and distant"?

Not that one.

Chorus: [singing]
Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated!


Doofenshmirtz: Over
here, Perry the platypus!


So, you fell for the old "hat rack
disguised as you nemesis" ploy, huh?


Well, anyway, that was a
very efficient use of my time.

I demonstrated my latest inator
and trapped you all in one!

"Trap Perry the platypus." Check.

"Demonstrate inator." Check!

Uh, now that just leaves
backstory, light lunch,

take over the tri-state
area, and schedule painters.

Only % of my list left,
I am on fire today!

All right, so let's
get down to business.

Ever since I switched pizza places...

you remember that whole
pizza day debacle, right?

Well, okay, anyway, my orders
now are all showing up cold.

Nothing I could do to
change that because, you

know, I'm a lousy tipper.
So I invented this,

the Impersonator-inator!

An inator so nice, I
had to name it twice!

Rather than move or shell
out extra cash, I can use

this device to create a
holographic field around myself,

impersonate the pizza delivery boy,

and pick up my own pizza.
It will still be warm.

But then I said, "Heinz, Heinz,
you're thinking too small.

"Why not be the pizza boy's boss?"

But then I said, "Heinz, Heinz..."

and then I said, "what? I'm
right here, stop saying my name!"

And then I said, "why
be the pizza boy's boss


"when you can be the
pizza franchise owner!"

- Uh-oh.
- Computer: Database image transferring.


Oops. One pizza delivery boy, comin' up!
I don't who that was for,

It was just such a good line, it would've
been a shame to hold it back. It's, uh...

Oh, hush.

Seriously, Stacy!
The boys are mystery.

I mean, what do they talk
about when we're not around?


- Do you think they talk about us?
- [scoffs] I got no clue.

[sighing] I guess I'll never know the
real deal as long as I'm not a boy.

Stacy, there's a pizza
delivery boy in my room!

- Is that code for something?
- Get back! [grunting]

Huh? There's no one there.

But he's in the mirror!
But... But...

[gasps] Oh no.

No, no, no, no, no, no!
This cannot be happening!

Aha! Oh!

Oh! Oh!

Stacy!
Phineas and Ferb have turned me

into a holographic image of a pizza boy!

Cool, can I have a veggie
special with non-dairy cheese?

- Stacy!
- Hey, too bad Jeremy didn't order a pizza,

then you could hang out with him and

- find out what guys talk about.
- Brilliant!

[gasps]

Just kidding, Candace.
Candace!

Oh, boy. I gotta work on my delivery.
It's way too deadpan.

"Knowing what we're
gonna do today." Check.

"Wondering where Perry is?"
Check.

We're on fire today!

[giggling]

- Did you order a pizza?
- Nope.

Maybe he delivered a pizza

before you even thought
about ordering it.

Ferb, make a note for later.
Time travel pizzeria.

And then I thought, "why
be a brigadier general


"when I could be a major general?"

I mean, why not, right?
I'm a modern guy.

And then I thought, "maybe
I'm still sh**ting too low.

"Why be a major general when I
could be a lieutenant general?"

And then I thought, "why be a..."
ahh!

What, do you have a blowtorch
under your tail or something?

Ow! [yelps]

Jeremy: - - ...
Hike! Hike!


Hey! Hey! I'm open!

- I'm open!
- [in deep voice] Pizza delivery.

Huh? [grunts]

That didn't count. Pizza interference.

Candace: Pizza for Jeremy Johnson!

Uh, sorry, dude, but we
didn't order any pizza.

You didn't.
But your girlfriend did.

Yeah, that's some
girlfriend you've got there!

I'd say you're probably
the luckiest man alive

to have a girlfriend like that.

Wait a minute.
You look familiar.

- Do I know you?
- No.

[chuckles] You really look
familiar. Aren't you...

No, just an average hamburger-eating,

football-playing, punchin', gamin' boy.

[hawking]

[spits]

- Boys spit. That's why I did that.
- Wait! You're Gary Frank!

You were the popular
senior two years in a row!

Dude, you gotta join
us for a pizza break.

It'll be fun to catch up and talk.

Talk? Yeah!
Talk!

[chomping]

[belches]
[all laughing]

[faking laughter]

That was funny. Belching!

[continues fake laughter]

It's so, uh, male.
Right, bros?

But, you know, maybe we should talk

about something like, I dunno.

Does anyone have any deep
thoughts they'd like to share?

- Nope.
- What?

- Well, I think this pizza's really good!
- Oh, I'm so glad!

Yeah. I figured you guys would like
the supreme meat lover's choice.

Though I wasn't sure
about the prosciutto.

Sometimes it can be rather
tough, and when it gets in

between your teeth, it can be
really embarrassing, like...

- Um, that's how I feel about it.
- What?

- I have a feeling.
- Great, let's hear it.

I have a feeling if Jeremy
doesn't wash that shirt soon,

it's gonna be reported
as a health hazard.

[chuckling]
Jeremy: Oh, yeah?


Well, your face is a health hazard!

Your breath is a health
hazard! [belching]

I have really been underestimating
Stacy's conversational skills.

Okay, I can tell by the
way you're looking at me

that I'm suddenly the th president

of the United States, Teddy Roosevelt.

The downside is, I'll be
succeeded by William Taft.

Blech!
The opposite, Perry the platypus is

that the hero of San Juan
Hill was a heck of a pugilist!

Put up your dukes! Come on!

Hmm, I guess the animal
setting wasn't such a hot... Ow!

Well, how did you punch me?
The hologram is so much taller than...

[groaning]

Empathize: Logic.

Jeremy: Yeah, well, my fantasy
league is killin' it this year.


Thomas got me two touchdowns,
[sighing]


points last week, and yards.

I'm in first place in my keeper league.

You're lucky because I drafted Kimball,

- but he's out for two more weeks.
- What?

So, uh, what else can we talk about?

Hmm, let me think. Uh...
Oh, I know.

- Anyone here have a girlfriend?
- What?

I do. Her name's Stacy.
She's absolutely the best...

- Not you. I'm asking Jeremy.
- Duh. Remember the whole

"your girlfriend
ordered the pizza" thing?

Oh, right!
Yeah, your girlfriend ordered pizzas!

[clearing throat] So, yeah,
what do you think of her?

- She's cool.
- What do you mean, "cool"?

- Like cool how?
- I just mean she's cool.

So, cool, like, you like her cool?

Like, she's totally
cool to be around cool,

or cool, like, she's cold and distant?

Uh, those first two.
Not that last one.

- She's cool. She's sweet.
- You mean, sweet like thoughtful,

or sweet like so sugary
you're gonna be sick?

No, I just mean she's sweet.
She's nice.

Nice like she's nice or...
what do you mean by that?

Just what I said.
She's nice. She's cool.

So what you're telling
me is that what you say is

exactly what you mean? Like,
nothing more, nothing less?

You say it, you mean it. That's it?

Well, yeah. What else would I mean?

Nothing, I guess, 'cause
we're, like, dudes.

- What?
- Okay!

So, you know, um, I'm gonna go.

- Great hanging with you!
- Yeah, unlikely...

Wow, he is not like he was
in high school. [belches]

[all laughing]

Oh, come on!

Oh, I get it. Pigskin.

Oh, great.
My inator has a sense of...

[screeching]

Velociraptor power att*ck!

Oh, great. Where am I supposed
to find a paleo-orthodontist?

Okay, Ferb, fire it up!

Ah! Congratulations, guys!

We're the first humans
ever to taste blueberry air!

Eh. I'm more of a
lingonberry kind of guy.

Hey, you're back! I'll take a large pie

with andouille sausage
and chocolate chips.

First of all, ew!
Why would you eat that?

And second, I'm not a pizza boy.

Oh, my gosh! It's Candace!

With what appears to be a holographic

field projection knitted to under her. {*}

Why are you surprised?
Didn't you guys do this?

Nope.
We were just making blueberry air.

Why blueberry?
Why not lingonberry?

Exactly! What's that all about?

[groaning]
Well, how can I get this off?

Buford is, like, the eighth
person to order pizza from me!

- And that's not even how you order pizza!
- Well, we didn't do it,

but we'll be glad to undo it.
Side project, g*ng!

No! No! Not the inator!
I totally need that!

Who's this nincompoop?

Oh, right. Curse you,
Perry the platypus!

And that football player,

the gorilla, and Lolo Jones,

and Blanca Dechan,
and Director Diphthong.


Everybody! Curse you all!

Okay, we have everything we need

for a holographic field disrupter.

We'll build it, and you'll be totally...
back to normal!

Cool! Thanks, guys.
Bust ya later!

I guess my pizza order isn't going in.

[shouting] Won't someone
think of the Buford?!

[phone ringing]
[beeps]

- Hello?
- Jeremy: Hey, Candace.


I just wanted to thank you
for sending over the pizzas.

- That was really cool.
- Cool! You liked it?

It was awesome. So, we still
on for the movies tonight?

- Cool!
- Cool!

- Cool!
- Cool!

- # Cool! #
- # Cool! #


- # Cool! #
- # Cool! #


- # Cool! #
- # Cool! C-C-Cool! #


- # Cool! #
- # Cool! #


- # C-C-C... #
- # Cool! #


- # Cool! Cool! #
- # Cool! #


♪ Arctic ♪

- What do you mean by that?
- Exactly what I said.
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