01x34 - Just a Guy

[bunniefuu]

Grrr!

[knock at door]

Telegram for Amy Rose.
You won the Most Selfless Award.

Mine!

Amy, what is it?

I submitted myself
for this year's Most Selfless Award

and I just found out that I won.

You submitted yourself?
Can you do that?

In this life, you got
to look out for number one.

I deserve this.

While you're gone you're
gonna need a house-sitter, huh?

Last time I left you two here,

I came back to find a family
of skunks in the crawl space.

You should be flattered.
Skunks are very picky.

[groans]

Come on, Amy, let us stay here.
I need a change of scenery.

It gets boring
watching a majestic sunset

over a sea of blue outside
my beach-front paradise every day.

And I want to watch cable.

Please, please, please.

- Can we stay?
- Be a guy.

Oh, fine! But only
because I am extremely selfless.

If you two do anything foolish,
you will face my wrath.

Ta-ta!

[both] Yeah!

- Want to do something foolish?
- You even have to ask?

- Stuck it.
- Thinking what I'm thinking?

[both] Nacho break!

It's OK, it's just a small stain.
We can fix this.

I heard seltzer
can get out stains.

No seltzer.
But there's grape soda.

It has bubbles
so it should work.

Oh, you soaked it.

We'd better take it outside
to dry in the sun.

[both grunt]

- [rip]
- Whoa! You're ripping it.

You're ripping it!

[both sigh]

Amy's gonna k*ll us.
What do we do?

Do you and your bro
have what it takes

to throw down
on "Bro-down Showdown",

where bros compete to show
how well they know their bro?

"Bro-down Showdown" is taping
at the Village Centre this weekend.

How's that gonna help us?
Stupid TV.

Your chance to win
a brand-new couch.

- Still don't get it.
- You heard right.

A brand-new couch.

Nope. Nothing.

Do I need to express aloud
that spying on Sonic

has given me
a plan to destroy him,

or is that obvious?

Is what obvious?

[all chatting]

I can't believe how many people
came to this audition.

Out of the way! Move it or lose it!
Total bros coming through.

Eggman, what are you doing here?

Oh, nothing, just
auditioning with my bro-bot.

Ain't that right, Orby?

Yes, sir,
it would seem I'm your... bro.

[producer]
All right, who's next?

Too old. Too ugly. Too out
of touch with the common man.

Uh... next!

Hey, you barely looked at us.

Sorry, kid. I'm just not
getting enough of a bro vibe.

Ha-ha! Stinks to be you.

Can it, Egghead!

Think he'll prefer your unruly
moustache and your lame-bot?

[sighs]

I'll show you unruly,
you spiny-haired rodent!

I'll have none of that bickering
at my audition.

Save it for the show.
You two are bros now.

Huh? No, no, we're not bros,
we're enemies.

That hedgehog is no bro of mine.

Then again, I'm not complaining
if it gets us on the show.

Come on, Sonic, play ball.

[sighs] I guess you're right.

Sorry. If we want to win that
couch for Amy, I got to do this.

But I thought this was gonna be
a Sonic and Knuckles episode.

Life's full of disappointments,
Knurples.

I always wanted
to be a traffic cop.

Move along,
you're in the fire lane.

Look, Sonic.
I got a new partner. Jealous much?

Great idea. We have double
the chances of winning that couch.

Way to take the wind
out of my sails.

Live from Village Centre,
it's "Bro-down Showdown".

Today's bros...

Sonic the Hedgehog
and Dr Eggman,

Knuckles the Echidna
and Mike the Ox,

a pair of stunt bears

and Dave the Intern
and Lady Walrus.

Seriously, Dave, she's your bro?

We don't like to put labels
on our bro-lationship.

Thank you.

Welcome to "Bro-down Showdown",
where bros go toe-to-toe

in hopes of winning
a narratively convenient prize.

[audience] Ooh!

So let's get started.

Dr Eggman,
what is Sonic's favourite movie?

No way he'll know this.
It's "Croctopotamus".

Hmm... I believe one time,

while he was pummelling me
with my robot drone's severed arm,

he mumbled something
about "Space Pigeons".

So I'm gonna go
with "Space Pigeons II".

Everyone knows
it's the best of the trilogy.

Correct! "Space Pigeons II".

Sonic and Eggman
off to an early lead.

Now Dave and Lady Walrus.

I can't believe you knew that.

Hey, you got to know your enemy.

Especially when he's your bro.

Ow!

That's right for ten points.

Now, Stunt Bear , how did
Stunt Bear say you first met?

[growls]

[growls]

Ooh. That's a disqualification.

The bro-code clearly dictates

there must be no fighting
between bros.

Now, Knuckles, we asked Mike
the following question.

A bro would never do what
to another bro?

Hmm...
I'm gonna have to go with...

ditch him to appear on a game
show with his arch nemesis.

[sighs]

I said a bro would never eat
the last cheese ball without asking.

But your answer was good too.

Sonic, if your bro were a food,
what kind of food would he be?

Uh... I don't know... An egg?

Oh, I said herb-crusted tilapia,

but then I changed my answer
to egg.

Knuckles, we asked Mike
what colour you are.

Ah, that's easy. I'm red.

Aww. I said green.
I'm colour-blind.

Ohh. Was that the green light?

No. Lady Walrus, what is
Dave the Intern's occupation?

He works
in the fast food industry.

I said evil villain
bent on destroying the world.

Judges?
We can accept that answer!

Sonic, if you went out of town,

what's the first thing
your bro said he would do

while you were gone?

Oh, I know this one!
It's got to be destroy the village.

He's right!
I said I'd destroy the village.

I'd reduce you all
to a smouldering pile of ash.

[cheering]

[both laugh]

Well, that ends round one.

Knuckles and Mike,
you have the lowest score.

Audience,
what happens to them now?

[audience] You're bro-liminated!

We're down
to the final two teams.

Which one will go home
with that snazzy new couch?

[heavy footsteps]

[screaming]

An Eggman robot. Let's turn
this bag of bolts into a scrap heap.

Hang on, did you say
that's an Eggman robot? Judges?

If you fight that robot,
you're fighting with your bro.

You got to be kidding.

[laughs]
I knew my plan would work.

If you fight my robot
we'll be disqualified

and you'll never win that couch
for your whiny girlfriend.

She's not my girlfriend!

Or you could just stand back

and watch the town
get blown to smithereens.

Either way, you lose.
On live TV.

Don't worry, "bro", I got this.

Maybe combat will fill

the Sonic-shaped void
you left in my heart.

[all] Aww!

The producers are telling me

I don't get paid
if we don't finish the show,

so let's move on to round two.

Sonic, what does Dr Eggman
have in his pockets right now?

Phew!

Oh, his pockets... Right...

I don't know... a hippopotamus
riding on a skateboard?

Lady Walrus.

Now, Dr Eggman,
fill in the blanks.

Whenever Sonic does blank,
I blank myself.

Hmm...

Huh? Aargh!

- Ugh!
- Knuckles?

Dr Eggman, we need your answer.

Hmm... Got to think
about this one for a minute, CC.

Uggh!

So those cushions are polyfoam,
right?

Oh, to heck with it.
I'm coming, bro!

You ready
to do something stupid, bro?

Do you even have to ask?

Aaargh!

Well, that's a disqualification.

Today's winners are
Dave the Intern and Lady Walrus.

[both] Ohh!

So, what are we gonna do
about Amy's couch?

Amy! No!

Oh, man, Amy!
Eggman totally destroyed your couch.

Yeah, and after
we didn't spill nachos on it.

Oh, that's a shame.

Yeah, real shame.

Come on, Knuckles,
let's get out of here.

Ohh!

I hope someone's
been feeding my cat.