05x16 - The Fallout

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Arrested Debelopment". Aired: November 2, 2003 - March 15, 2019.
Michael finds himself forced to stay in Orange County and run the family real estate business after his father, George is sent to prison for committing white-collar crime.
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05x16 - The Fallout

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[upbeat music playing]

[Ron] The courtroom
at Buster Bluth's m*rder trial...

- Because that child is mine.
- [Ron] ...had been electrified

after seeing a dramatic spin

- off of the Bluths' family history.
- [Lottie] Buster Bluth has k*lled before

in the exact same manner
he k*lled Lucille Austero!

Mistrial! Mistrial!

Yes, yes, I missed your trial!

[Ron] But while emotions were high...

- She can be your mother!
- ...Michael noticed a subtle exchange.

I need you to find some videotapes.
They're back... [whispers] ...in a box...

[continues indistinctly]

You do that, and we'll see

- about you calling me Mother.
- Right.

[Ron] And so,
he decided to dig a little deeper.

[Michael] So, you thought

Mimi was talking about you.

That... That you were her child,
and that she was gonna take you away.

Well, had I known
that she was talking about Lindsay,

I would have been, like,
"Goodbye, Felicia."

I didn't even really get close to her
until we made soup that one time.

Is it true?
Did you push Mimi down the stairs?

I did, but nothing's gonna happen to me
'cause I'm just a boy.

How come you never said anything?

- How come Mom never told...
- You leave Mother out of this.

- She knows nothing.
- Why are you protecting her?

What are you not telling me?

I did it,
but nothing's gonna happen to me

because I'm just a boy.

I heard that already, pal.
Do not protect Mother.

This looks very, very bad.
You know, Lottie is gonna make it look

like you're one of those guys
that pushes old ladies down stairs.

Lottie. She's so mean.
I wish I could shove her down the st...

Hey! Shh! No more talking
about shoving, pushing...

- [guard] No touching!
- Or touching.

- Yeah, feel it. It's a rental.
- Let's focus on your defense.

Oh, I feel good about that.

- You do?
- What I saw today in court...

blew me away.

What you saw in court today
is gonna put you away.

after that body-dumping footage.

I mean, what the hell was that?

[Ron] Buster had been caught on tape,

dumping a person-shaped thing into the sea
that only moments before he'd received...

[Gob] I need your help with a, uh...

- [Ron] ...from Gob.
- ...body-shaped thing.

It's from a magician.

of his final farewell disappearing act.

[Ron] Gob had last seen
his friend Tony Wonder

- during a sex-pref-swap illusion...
- [crowd cheering]

[Ron] ...that he'd hoped would cement
their relationship.

- Which, in an unexpected way, it did...
- [crowd gasps]

...leaving Gob with the necessity
of pretending he was a gay man.

- [man] He's gonna have to stay gay.
- [Ron] Gob assumed he'd been ghosted.

But after he was thr*at by a group

that somewhat tongue-in-cheek
called itself the Gay Mafia...

We know you're as straight
as an Oklahoma highway.

...his assumptions were cruelly confirmed.

And we're the ones doing the hurting.

[Ron] In fact,
it was a brutal organization that was led

by Lucille 2's brother, Argyle...

So... I have to stay gay?

Just for seven years.
Then we'll let you age out.

It's a lot more generous than what I did
to that last guy who faked being gay,

- your pal Tony Wonder.
- [Ron] ...who thr*at

that, since he's so good at magic,
maybe he should make something disappear.

- [thuds]
- [Gob] Is that what I think it is?

[Ron] Gob kept this part from Buster,
but told him it was a mannequin

and swore him to secrecy nonetheless.

[Buster] Um, it was given to me,
but I can't tell you by whom.

But Dusty thinks we're
better off just ignoring it.

[Michael] Yeah, I think that's a bad idea.
And I'm a little concerned about Dusty.

His inexperience could hurt you.
And, I'm sorry,

I cannot let that happen. Not on my watch.

[Buster] Mm-hmm.
Yeah, I saw A Few Good Men, too.

But Dusty's the real deal.
Sorry, Michael. Game recognizes game.

Mom is hiding something.

She even asked Dusty
to find some secret videotapes.

You wouldn't have any idea
where something like that would be,

- would you?
- You don't have to save everyone, Michael.

[Ron] Michael knew there was only one way
to get Buster to turn on his mother.

[Michael] Okay. Don't tell me.
Dusty sure won't.

Not after Mom told him
he could call her "Mother."

Oh, they went to the cottage.
I'd check the cottage.

[Ron] Now, the story of a wealthy family

who lost everything,
and the one son who had no choice

but to keep them all together.

[theme music playing]

It's Arrested Development.

[Ron] Michael arrived
at the family's beach cottage

to discover
that his brother's hunch was correct.

[Michael] What are you doing?
Research on the case?

Hey, Mi... Michael. Maybe you can help me.
I, uh...

I don't know what I'm lookin' for.

Believe it or not,
I don't have that much trial experience.

Yeah, sure. What are you trying to find?

Your mom told me to get rid of a bunch
of these family tapes,

but I can't imagine she'd want
to throw out all these memories.

She asked you
to get rid of family memories?

- Why? Is that weird?
- [Michael] It's just that, typically,

the drinking does that.

Oh, that's good,
because she called it "evidence."

But I don't think you're supposed to admit
to destroying evidence in court.

- Sure.
- [Dusty] Again, I...

don't have that much trial experience.

- Yeah. Hey, why don't we see...
- Yeah.

- ...what's in this box?
- Oh, well, my mom...

your mom said that I'm supposed to be
the only one who looks in there,

- but, um...
- I'm sure she wasn't talking about me.

Uh, well, actually, she said exactly you.

She even said the rules
were posted to be specific.

I'm pretty sure that towel thing
is a sh*t at me, but...

Well, we don't need to do everything
my mother asks us to do, right?

Well, that's true. You're right.
Mother said don't open the box,

but I don't see her around here anywhere.

Mother, I'm going to open the box!

Mom's not here, so it turns out

she's not as all-powerful
as I think she is.

[Ron] Getting to call Lucille "Mother"
had changed Dusty.

So, which ones do you wanna watch?

"George Bluth, Affair: Caught in Act"

or "George Bluth, Another Affair:
Caught in Act, Hi-Res"?

I know which one I would watch
with a g*n to my head.[chuckles]

Not the hi-res.

[chuckles] Oh.

"Buster, Age Eight, Under Hypnosis: 1982."

This... This is the year
that they tried to get him to wean.

Hang on, that was... that was '83.

Uh, 1982 was, uh...


[dramatic piano music plays]

Awesome. '82 was awesome. Good year.

- You haven't watched any of these?
- These are three-quarter-inch, Michael.

This is not a TV station in the '70s.

[Ron] But, fortunately,
Michael knew someone

at a news station in his 70s.

Tell you what, uh,
let me take care of this, Dusty.

I don't want to be too sentimental here,

but these are my precious family evidence,

so I should be the one
that gets to destroy them.

- [door closes]
- [sighs]

[Ron] After talking to Michael,
Buster had grown even more nervous

about keeping Gob's secret.

[Gob] ...the body you dumped
was Tony Wonder's magic dummy,

because no one wants
to get put away for m*rder. I get it.

[Buster] It is their main evidence
against me,

and it does look
like I'm disposing Lucille 2's body.

[Gob] Not, no...
Very different body types,

I can assure you, just...
Even in the dark,

you wouldn't make that, uh, mistake.

Anyway, I'm concerned that, uh...
you, uh...

Could you really enjoy your freedom,
knowing that you hurt my career?

And don't forget, Buster,
when you were a boy,

- magic saved your life.
- Uh...

Uh, look, we don't have to say
that it was a Tony Wonder dummy.

We could tell them
it's a random dummy.

And violate magician-assistant privilege?
Not an option!

If you help me with this illusion,

then you can be my assistant
for the rest of my magic career.

- Every show, every city...
- Oh.

...pending availability
and parole conditions,

- of course.
- Yeah.

- [indistinct radio chatter]
- But what if I'm convicted, Gob?

I don't know. I'll use Adhir.

- Hmm.
- [Gob] But if you are acquitted,

we can start as soon as next week,
'cause I got a big illusion planned.

- You know that wall we're building?
- No. I'm kind of out of the loop.

- Who's Adhir?
- Doesn't matter.

[Ron] But the Gay Mafia
wasn't out of the loop.

Which is what had led
to two of Argyle's cronies

recently showing up in Gob's office.

[man] Argyle heard about the wall project.

And he's a little insulted
you didn't ask him

for a sit-down first.

Because had you done the right thing
and talked to Argyle,

you would have remembered
we're Newport Beach's

premier cement provider.

Something you already knew
from the trick you did at the parade.

The one you did with your friend.
Tony Wonder. Well... [laughs]

- ...he certainly knows about it.
- [chuckles weakly]

It... It's just a prototype wall.
You know, I thought it was too small

to bother Argyle with.

[man 2] Really? Even though you got
Congresswoman Sally Sitwell

to call for it?

Because, I tell you what,
you get a federal contract,

that's a lot of cement.

So why don't you let Argyle decide
whether or not he's bothered.

Because if Argyle isn't happy,
the wall isn't gonna be the only thing

covered in cement.

[Ron] They were two tough guys

right out of Guys and Dolls,
a play they were in the middle

of a very successful four-week run of
at a local community theater.

Reminds me of how Hanks walked around

- like Jim Lovell for a year.
- Argyle will be watching.

And if he's happy, he just might be okay
with letting you go back

to being straight.

[Ron] And while their affect
may have been over the top,

their thr*at were very real.

- Nice guys.
- [Ron] Of course, it would take Gob

another hour to realize that.

So here's the illusion:
I'm gonna go into the wall

- a gay man, which I am.
- [Buster] Wow.

If anyone from the Gay Mafia asks.

And then, when I come out the other side,

I will be magically straightened out.

Well, cis male, high butch.

[Ron] Gob had learned a lot
in the short time he'd been magically gay.

Buster, you do this for me...

one day...

I'll come to you for a favor.


[continues groaning]

[Ron] And so, the next day,

Michael sought out
a highly respected journalist...

Lean Cuisine? I think I got a Lean Pocket
around here somewhere.

[Ron] ...who was going
through a bitter divorce.

...nothing, thank you.

You know, you look familiar to me.
Have... Have we met before?

Well, John, you used our house
for To Entrap a Local Predator.

- That's it.
- Yeah.

- [John] You were one of our super creeps.
- Yeah, yeah. Uh, no.

- Oh, man, you were so out of it.
- [Michael] Yeah.

- [John] I have it here.
- [Ron] And that's when Michael saw footage

from a night

- of which he had no recollection.
- [Michael] That's me!

What am I doing in a Banana Stand shirt?

Can you go back before all this?

[Ron] A night in which Michael arrived
somewhat battered and bruised

to the model home,
and ran into a brother...

I'm just not into Cuatro this year.

[Ron] ...with whom he shared
some very cryptic information.

I did something
that I wish I could forget.

You've got no idea how I feel.

[Ron] Before being surprised
by a guest of his brother's.

What is he doing there?

[Ron] And Michael watched Gob give him
a pill

that he used
to preserve the secret of the trick.

- What... What was that?
- [Gob and Michael grunting on tape]

- [Michael coughing on tape]
- Whatever it was, it knocked you out

- for two days.
- [Gob] ...forgetful...

[Ron] At that very moment,
the man who gave it to him

- was being questioned by Dusty.
- You and I are friends, don't you think?

Objection. Is this going somewhere?

Yeah, that's what I wanted to find out.

So do you think we'll hang out together
after this?

- I'll allow it.
- Ah...

Hang out, like go to the beach
or something?

[Stanley] How does that pertain?

I just want to know
if he'll let me see his fort, because...

- I'll allow it.
- Oh. [chuckles]

- I won't allow that.
- That's... Sustained. That's...

That's fine. That's fair. That's... Yeah.

Mr. Bluth, you are a magician by trade.
Is that correct?

- Illusionist.
- [Dusty] Oh.

- I'm sorry.
- [Gob] Oh, please.

Sustained. I'll allow it.

And you've worked
with the defendant before.

This assistant...
This was your assistant, is that correct?

Yes, he was my assistant.

[Ron] Gob realized that Buster
had gotten him under oath,

not just as a character witness...

Didn't you say he is the best assistant
you ever had?

[Ron] ...but to compel him
to take moral responsibility

for the dumping of the body.

- Yes, I did.
- [Dusty] And what exactly

was it that made him the best?

[Ron] So Gob put
the moral responsibility...

He would never reveal a secret.

[Ron] ...back on Buster.

He would just act all dumb, like,

- "I don't know what's happening, either."
- Mm.

You know, he just... he was just so good
at acting like, "Where'd she go?

What happened to her?
She just... She vanished."

And he could take any object,
no matter its size, and make it disappear.

Gone forever, like it never existed.

- You'd never find a trace of it.
- Ladies and gentlemen of the jury...

And he had nerves of steel,
I tell you that much.

Even if he was cutting a woman
in half... with that steel.

And then he'd make the steel disappear
as well.

- So cool.
- He was just a very...

dumb-acting but...

secretly sneaky guy.

[Ron] And a rift had opened up
between the brothers.

But Michael had discovered
that Gob was pretty sneaky himself.

So... Gob forget-me-nowed me
because of Tony.

And that would be news on any other day,
but I've gotta save my brother.

Can you play this tape for me?

Yeah, sure.
Did anyone tell you about the...?

Yes. Yep. Twenty-dollar tape deck rental.

All right, let's plop her in

- and see how she plays.
- Thank you.

[Tobias on TV] Doctor-to-be, Tobias Fünke.

Subject [bleep, bleep], who is now
in a deep hypnotic state,

and this is my doctoral research material
on memory suppression.

- [laughs]
- [young Buster] Memory suppression?

[Tobias] No. Not that, no.
Give him some juice, please.

- Juice, please.
- [audio distorts]

[Tobias] ...where we left off yesterday.
What happened to Mimi?

[young Buster]
I pushed her down the stairs.

[Tobias] No. You didn't do anything.
You're a good boy.

Juice, please! What really happened
is your mother pushed Mimi

down the stairs.
But what do we tell the police?

[young Buster] Mother pushed Mimi
down the stairs.

[Tobias] No, no, no, no.
Please remove the juice, please!

We tell the police
that you pushed Mimi down the stairs.

[young Buster] I pushed Mimi
down the...

[Tobias] No! No, your mother did!

Watch me drink the juice, please.
Juice, please!

[Lucille] You're confusing him.
Honey, even though we all know

that I pushed Mimi down the stairs,
if you tell anyone that, I'll go to jail.

[young Buster] I don't want you to.

- What a bitch.
- [Lucille] That's right,

so you have to save me
by saying you did it.

But nothing is going to happen to you,
because you're just a boy.

[young Buster] I did it,
but nothing's gonna happen to me

- 'cause I'm just a boy.
- [Lucille] Can you say it again?

[young Buster, distorted] ...but nothing's
gonna happen to me 'cause I'm a boy.

I wish I hadn't finished that juice.

- That's where it ends.
- Can you transfer that onto something

less obsolete? I got to save my brother.

I think it's time to find out
if Mother can handle the truth.

A Few Good Men. Great movie.

- But first, I got to wash the pile...
- Sure. Take your time.

[woman on phone]
Orange County Courthouse.

- Is the Bluth case still in session?
- [Ron] It was.

As, after Gob had outsmarted
a dumb lawyer,

the question was,
could he out-dumb a smart lawyer?

These objects that Buster could hide...

were they as big as a human body?

Oh, God, yeah, yeah.

Just, I mean, the...

often, the exact same dimension
of a human body,

of an average human male or female body.

Often a female body.

- Any female body, really.
- [Lottie] This list

of skills you mentioned, were they helpful
for, say, covering up a crime?

[sighs] I see what you're doing.
[chuckles softly]

Yes, it would.

[Lottie] No more questions. [chuckles]

Interesting, huh?
Hers were a lot easier than his.

- [indistinct chatter]
- [door opens]

Permission to interrupt the case.

- Could you identify yourself?
- [Gob] You missed it.

- I k*lled up there.
- I am Michael Bluth.

I am the brother of the defendant
and... and cocounsel to Dusty.

Permission to join the defense?

Oh, that'll be great timing,

because I've been drinking
this free court water.

Does the prosecution have any objections?

- [Dusty] I need a break.
- Oh, let him go.

- Oh, he worked through recess.
- [indistinct chatter]

All right.
Mr. Bluth, call your next witness.

I would like to call Lucille Bluth,
the accused mother.

I think you mean "the accused's mother."

Oh, what did I say?

Mrs. Bluth, would you please state
your relationship

- to the defendant?
- [Lucille] Look at you,

milking this for every moment.

Isn't this classic Michael?

We make fun of him all the time.
Right, Gob?

[Ron] The rift
between the brothers had been repaired.

- Please just answer the question.
- I'm his mother.

The district attorney has provided
some very provocative information

about the defendant. She has claimed

that he was responsible,
at a very young age,

for pushing our grandmother, Mimi,

down the stairs.
Thus, that he k*lled before.

What are you doing, Michael?

Trying to prove
the prosecution's theories?

Stop showing off and get to the point.

What if Buster did not push Mimi
down the stairs?

- What are you talking about?
- [Michael] The question is,

do you recall the night
in 1982 when Mimi died?

Where are you going with this, Michael?

- I just want the truth.
- Oh, God,

are you going for one
of your Few Good Men moments?

You remember the night your mother died.

- Of course I do. Terrible, what happened.
- [Michael] Tell me, what did happen?

Because the prosecution
would have us believe

that Buster Bluth, your son,
my brother, was responsible

- for that death.
- Well, he did confess to it.

So it seems
that even Buster believes the story

that happened in 1982.

It was an accident. He was very young.
He didn't understand the consequences.

So you are stating, as a fact,

that Buster pushed your mother
down the stairs?

Buster says Buster pushed my mother.

And I think you pushed your mother.

I think that Mimi might not have been

the only person that took a fall
that night.

I think you let Buster take a fall
for you.

[Lucille] Oh, I see.

So if I pushed my mother
down the stairs, maybe I did this, too?

- [Michael] Maybe you did.
- I... I thought this was about my mother.

- It's about family, all of it.
- Stay on topic, Michael.

[Michael] Okay, let's do that.

Where were you the night
that Lucille Austero disappeared?

I don't know where I was.
I don't know who was where!

Where were you?

So it seems that I came home
from somewhere.

The point is
that we're talking about you, not me.

Well, maybe we should talk about you.

You were there. You owed her money!

- [Lucille 2] I need that money.
- [Michael] Sure.

[Lucille] You borrowed it,
didn't you, Michael?

Yes, I did, because I care
about the family, which I thought...

Oh, stay on topic.
You bounce like a beach ball.

[Michael] I'm answering the question.

I'm saying, when you care
about a family or a business,

you do things people might not understand.

- [Lucille] Michael!
- ...what I might do.

Are you thr*at... [screams]

And... sometimes you do bad things
that you don't remember...

- or I don't want to remember.
- [man] Objection.

- [Lucille] Michael's out of control.
- [Michael] So maybe I was

out of control that night, but at least

- I can admit it.
- [Lucille] Admit what?

You're talking
like you k*lled Lucille Austero!

- You're g*dd*mn right I did!
- [gallery gasps, murmuring]

[Ron] And that's how Michael
A Few Good Men-ed himself.

I think.

I, uh...

I... I, uh... I was there.
I was there, and, uh...

Hey, Michael,
I need that money I lent you.

I think that I went there
to see Lucille 2. I was mad at her.

I... I had borrowed money...

Does bad news count?

- [Michael] I'm ashamed.
- What are you doing?

I offered to sleep with her

so that she would forget
my $700,000 debt.

Nice humblebrag.

- Then we fought...
- I cannot be held responsible...

...and I must have done something to her

- and gotten my shirt bloody.
- [Lucille 2 screams]

Why else would I change it
in the Banana Stand...

You don't know what you're talking about.

But I definitely drove the stair car home,
and that's why it was next to the house.

And, uh, the pill. Gob gave me that pill.

That's what I saw
on that video at... at John Beard's,

which is why I had forgotten
that I was at Cinco.

Okay, Michael, that's enough.

[Michael] Even I was starting to believe
that Buster... but, uh...

- I think that I'm the k*ller.
- [Ron] And perhaps, it was at that moment

- that Lottie realized...
- I object.

[Ron] ...she had no chance of winning.

The opposing counsel... is confessing.

[indistinct chatter]

No further confessions, Your Honor.

[Ron] It was a stunningly dramatic twist,

a real Making of a Monster-type moment.

- Michael, honest to God...
- Yeah?

What the hell was that?
You had me on the stand.

- You were making me look like a m*rder!
- [Michael] I'm sorry. I found the tapes

where you were making Buster think
he pushed Mimi down the stairs.

[Lucille] Exactly. Those are the tapes
I wanted you to find.

I couldn't have laid it out
any more clearly for you.

All you had to do was get me on the stand
and make me look like a liar.

How do you screw that up?

Screw that up?

What, you wanted me to accuse you
of pushing Mimi down the stairs?

We couldn't have the jury
thinking Buster did it,

because they'd be totally convinced

he did the same thing to Lucille 2,

and I couldn't exactly accuse myself
of k*lling Mimi.

I would just look like a loving mother
lying to protect her son.

But I didn't push Mimi
down the stairs. Buster did.

Mom, you're on tape
admitting that you did it

and telling Buster to confess
to being a m*rder.

He thought he was saying that
to save his mother.

We were implanting a memory.

We didn't want him growing up
thinking he was a k*ller.

Instead, he thinks he's a hero.

Meanwhile, I grow up thinking I'm a hero,

and I turn out to be a k*ller.

- You didn't k*ll anyone.
- [Michael] No, no.

I think I did. They're probably
on their way to come lock me up right now.

Lottie's not going to reopen the case.

Mom, I just confessed in there.

That you were drugged
and don't fully remember.

[Michael] Why did I change shirts?

- Why did I say I lost control?
- Michael,

they've got nothing.
No body. It's a mistrial.

It's over. Dusty told me.

Two brothers can't be charged
for the same crime.

[Michael] Well, I hate to say it,
but you may have been getting

better advice from Barry.

But I should talk. I mean, I thought...
I was better than this family,

but I've made a mess of everything.

I... I couldn't keep Lindsay around.

My son will likely be ruined
at the wall unveiling

for not having the software.
That's my fault. [sighs]

Turns out, I'm the worst.
I'm the worst Bluth.

Never say that!

Gob is the worst.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

[protesters chanting]

[Ron] On the day of both the wall
and the Fakeblock software unveiling,

the Bluth family was growing anxious.

- You think Michael's gonna show?
- And miss a chance to save the day?

We need this part to go well.

Sally Sitwell can't shut this down
before the presentation.

I'm actually more worried
about the Chinese.

I don't think they're happy
with the protesters.

If this doesn't work,
they'll never stop coming after us

for the debt.
Oh, God, I just got an amiable nod.

- Are you sure it was amiable?
- Yeah, it was pretty amiable.

Okay, look away.
I wouldn't want our congresswoman

- to think we're colluding.
- [Sally] Hello, Lucille.

- [chuckling] Oh, Sally.
- Colluding with who?

Oh, the protesters.

I don't know who let these libtards
in here.

- I beg your pardon?
- People with liberal-tardation.

Well, they're not making it easier for me
to sign off on this prototype.

- I can't believe you'd let them in.
- We didn't let them in.

I... I don't know how they got
past the guard gate.

You know, maybe we should think
about hiring a guard.

God, I see the problem.

- Frosty the Snowflake over there.
- [Tobias] What do we want?

- [protesters chanting] No wall!
- [Tobias] When do we want it?

- [protester] We don't?
- [Tobias] That doesn't...

- [Lucille] Tobias!
- Go limp! Go limp!

Go... No, no, no, no. You...

You look like you're
at a Walking d*ad convention.

- No, limp, like, uh, flaccid. Unerect.
- Um, George?

[George Sr.] Hmm?

[Lucille] You should welcome
some of your friends over there.

I can't believe my dry cleaners came.

[scoffs, clears throat]
What are you doing?

- Are you not a member of this family?
- Uh, he wants to be,

but this is going to guarantee
it'll never happen.

I'm sorry, but I'm doing this
for ethical reasons.

- I need the money.
- [Sally] Money?

- These are paid protesters?
- Who's paying you?

[Maeby] I am.

And, Dad, I made you a chant follower,
not a chant leader.

- Chant follower?
- I'm not paying you for that.

Anyway, yes, we're protesting.

This family can make George Michael
into a fully-blown Bluth,

but they're not gonna do the same to me.

No, it's turning you into your mother.

Well, maybe this will bring her
back to this family.

Lucille, I am sorry, I cannot authorize
this wall in front of these protesters,

especially when it is your family
that's doing the protesting.

I'll look ridiculous. I...
Channel 52 is here.

- What is she paying you?
- Three dollars an hour

and a copy of the news footage
for my reel.

How'd you like to be a Bluth?

- Fully-blown?
- No.

And not your creepy girlfriend
or your imbecilic son.

[chuckles] Funny story, that.

They left me.

- Oh.
- [Tobias inhales]

I wear the horns of a cuckold.
That's why you don't put your girlfriend

in the same sleeping bag with your son.

But I'm not gonna let him share mine.
I like to spread my legs.

- Apparently, so does DeBrie.
- [Tobias] Okay, don't worry about it.

These people will follow me anywhere.
Hmm? Okay, folks, change of plans!

Now, you guys got through, but let's keep
the rest of your family members away.

I say we do put up the wall, huh?
Yes? What's happening?

What? What? Oh, no! Go limp! Go limp!

- [protesters clamoring]
- [Sally] Okay. That might buy us time.

[Ron] Which is what George
was doing with the Chinese investors.

[George Sr.] Good. I think you're gonna be

very, very impressed by the wall.
It's gonna, you know, keep everything out.

We are much more concerned

with the software portion
of the demonstration.

We are very eager to see
how it interfere with the broadcast.

We need something like this
in China.

'Cause your game shows
are the worst. [laughs]

And, of course, this will be very helpful
in avoiding the spread of democracy.

[Ron] And soon,
Buster caught up with his mother.

Hello, Mother.

- Didn't expect to see you here.
- Why the hell wouldn't I be here?

No, you would be. I wouldn't.
You didn't invite me.

But, fortunately, Gob invited me.

Hey, Gob.
I bet you think you're seeing me here.

- Yeah, you're part of the illusion.
- Okay, I'll meet you backstage.

Yeah, I expect to see you there.

- Why are you...?
- [Buster stammers]

I bet you didn't expect him
to expect to see me back there.

Wh... What did he mean?
He's not using you in his show, is he?

Yes, because I'm a good assistant,

and unlike you,
I know how to keep a secret.

I can't believe you told Warden Gentles
about our family secrets.

[sighs] Look,

you wanted to get out for the parade,

- but I drank too much, okay?
- [Buster whines]

This is why you don't go to rehab.
I lost all my tolerance.

But I tried to fix it.

That's why I wanted Michael
to expose that I was to blame.

How was I to know he'd point the finger
at himself?

- But it worked.
- Mother, I know the truth now.

I always thought you pushed
Mimi down the stairs,

and you made me take the blame.
I got it backwards.

I pushed Mimi down the stairs.

And you made me take the blame.
That's the same.

But I want to thank you for that.
You were just trying to protect me.

Can you imagine how weird
I would have turned out

if I thought I did it? [laughs]

I really can't.

[Ron] And soon, it was time
for the presentation to begin.

[Gob over speaker]
...the president of Fakeblock,

Mr. Gob Bluth!

"Gob"? Who said Gob?

- [panting] Gob, Gob! Who did?
- [crowd applauds]

Thank you. Oh, and my...

As many of you know,
for thousands of years,

the U.S.-Mexico border
has been woefully unfenced.

- [crowd murmurs]
- But today, that changes.

Not literally today.
Today, we're just here

for approval on a small piece of...

Why am I being so serious?
We're gonna be rich.

With this wall...

Buster, would you get out of the...

Today, in these plywood forms,

10,000 pounds of wet, gay,
QuickHard cement

will be poured, because if we build it,
they won't come!

Oh, that's clever. All right,
get ready to storm the wall.

[Gob] But before I demonstrate
to you the software that will...

I don't know, I guess just stop tweeting
from sh*thole countries,

I'd like to make a special demonstration
of my own. As many of you know,

I performed a trick a couple months ago

where I turned from straight,
uh-huh, to gay.


[woman] Now?

[Maeby] No,
let's see how this pans out first.

While my friend Tony Wonder
was encased in cement

and never heard from again...

♪ The first time ever ♪

♪ I saw ♪

- ♪ Your... ♪
- Face.

Well, now it's my turn to transform back,
which I will do by starting

on the other side of the wall
a gay man

and turning straight as I walk

- through it.
- [crowd grunts and chatters]

[Tobias] Hey, no, no,
take five from the beating.

You can get back to it.
I want to see this trick.

[Gob] And to help me do that,
my assistant,

direct from his mistrial,

please welcome to the stage
Byron Buster Bluth.


- ♪ I'm free ♪
- ♪ Free ♪

♪ Free at last ♪

♪ Free at last... ♪

[Buster] Mm.

How does it feel
to be accused of m*rder?

[laughs] It was a lot of work,
but I didn't do it!

They found me not guilty.

Well, it was a mistrial,
so they found you not not guilty.

There was no body.
They will never find the body.

Maybe I shouldn't have smoked
during his pregnancy.

Well, to be fair, you...
you hate to drink without a cigarette.

Speaking of magic,
you ought to get on with yours.

- [man] m*rder!
- [Buster] Not proven!

- [Gob] It didn't stick, assh*le!
- [crowd murmuring]

- ["The Final Countdown" playing]
- ♪ It's the final countdown... ♪

[Gob] Now for the easy part.

Back off. Get the...

Climbing over the wall
so I can begin the illusion. Get away!

On the other side.

[George Sr.] Well, it is a bit of a flaw

that anybody can get
over our wall by using a rope ladder.

[Ron] And while Gob was shredding
what little dignity he had left,

George Michael was showing respect
to the family's Chinese benefactors.

How long until the clown's done
with the clown show?

Uh, well, he's... technically,
he's not a clown. He's, um...


Five minutes. Maybe six, if he has
a hard time getting his shirt off,

but, you know, I have to let him do this.
He's my uncle.

We have a word for this in Chinese.

It means a combination
of embarrassment and obligation.

- We need a word like that.
- [Ron] And after descending

to the other side of the wall,
Gob was ready for his transformation.

I am now behind the wall,
still fully gay.

[on speakers] But in a moment,
I'll be on the other side.

So, ladies, prepare to be objectified.

- Ooh, mommy!
- [Buster laughs]

Seal me in.

Not you. Get out!

Okay, now, I still need
to somehow get through this plywood form,

but I'm still gay...

...so I'm not very good with tools.

- So I have to use magic.
- [gasps] He's inside the wall!

[Gob] I'm making it!
I'm through the plywood!

Oh, I'm craving a beer.

My references are becoming more basic.

I think Billy Eichner is mean.

Buster, prepare the other side
for my emergence.

[Ron] And Michael showed up
just in time...

[Gob] Gay masons, begin the pour.

[Ron] ...for the cement to be dropped
on his brother...

[Gob] ♪ Ah... ♪

...while his son was ramping up business

about a software product his father
had been told did not work.

And you are confident
the software is effective?

Because we could make you very wealthy.

Oh, we can't sell you Fakeblock
for the wall.

We're doing the software
on a licensing basis,

as we're on the verge
of selling the company

to a major commercial actress.
I'm sorry, a commercial enterprise.

I have the contract for them to sign here,

for after the presentation,
to sell Fakeblock.

Hey, hey, hey, hey.
What's that? Are you...

You're selling Fakeblock? To who?

- No, Dad, it doesn't matter. Please...
- Hey.

Hold on. Is it... Is it Rebel?

Are you selling the software
to the Howards?

- Do not get in the middle of this.
- You said you would not sell to her

because it didn't work,
but it does work, doesn't it?

You don't want me to know.
Is that why you're trying to sell it

before the demonstration?

- Uh, this is not the time.
- You cannot do this.

You cannot do this
because you're not the president.

You're just the founder.
Gob is the president.

- Can't sign without his signature.
- [George Michael] No?

- No.
- Read the contract.

As long as the president is incapacitated,
it's mine to sell.

Incapacitated? What are you talking about?
Where's Gob?

Oh, well, let's just say he's,
uh, in between things

at the moment, okay?
He's plastered, all right?

He's doing that Tony Wonder trick
where they pour cement on him.

Last I heard,
he didn't know how to do it.

You might want to check on that.

I don't get it.
I... I don't get why you would do this.

What happened to family first?

I am putting my family first.

- My new family.
- [hard hat clatters]

- Howard you like me now, Dad?
- [investors chattering]

- Howard you like me now?
- [Michael] Of course you're choosing them,

because you never forgave me
for Rebel, did you?

After everything that I've done
for you, you're still trying

to teach me a lesson?
Well, I got news for you,

you can't sell
because I am still part owner in stock,

- and I'm not incapacitated.
- No, not yet.

Know what you have
in common with my new dad?

[Ron] And that's when, in my opinion,
George Michael went too far.

You could both use a hit.

- I'm sorry.
- [Ron] As did Michael.

And an animosity that had been building
was finally acted out.

[both grunting]

[Ron] And while the father and son fought
next to the quickly hard-drying wall...

Gob could be heard trying
to fight his way through it.

[Gob] ...more cement than I anticipated.

He's supposed to say,
"Remove the plywood now."

- I don't know why he's not saying it. Gob?
- [crowd muttering]

You want me to remove the plywood now?

This is quick-drying cement,
so the sooner you can answer...


[panting] Okay,
I'm so, so sorry about that.

We really wanna be
in business with you guys.

We don't act like this all the time.

And I can assure you that I am
in complete authority of both

the Bluth Company and Fakeblock,
and we'd love to do this deal with you.

- They told me you were fired.
- [Michael] No,

I'm on the board. Third in succession
if the other two are incapacitated.

[Ron] Only feet away,
one of those incapacitations

was on display.

As with no response from his brother...

[Buster] But I would rather have
a brother who's alive

and maybe bisexual
than d*ad and straight!

- I declare a mistrick! Remove the forms!
- [Ron] ...Buster appeared to panic.

That's how Gob, years before anyone else,

ended up with an immovable position
supporting a wall.

- [Gob muttering]
- [crowd gasps]

- [Gob continues muttering]
- [Buster] Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

- He's mad.
- [Ron] As were the Chinese.

[investor] We can't be in business
with a family like this.

We look forward to your
repayment of our generosity.

[stammering] I can't... I can't do that.

We... We have nothing
that... that we can give you.

We need to build the wall
so we can end our debt to you.

Well, we might be happy
with just the software component.

You want to...

You want to buy Fakeblock?
Well, we should... let's...

we should wait
until after the demonstration.

I... I don't want you
to take on too much risk.

And I wouldn't know
what to charge you, sir.

You will just sign it over,
and your debt will be forgiven.

But this has to happen quickly,
before the young clown comes to,

or they pull the d*ad clown
out of the wall.

- We will agree to take this risk.
- [man] Go, go, go!

And I guess we should do this quickly.

[Ron] And while these
no longer amiable businessmen

signed their okay to taking over a company

from a family that had fallen apart,

a father and son signed their okay...

knowing they hadn't.

I hope this allows you
to save face for your family.

- Well, thank you.
- [investor] Let's go. Well done.

[Ron] But onstage, it was Gob's face
that was at risk.

- [Buster] Don't use the sledgehammer.
- [man 2] Get him out of there.

- Did somebody say... Wonder?
- [crowd cheers]

I wonder if Gob is... still alive!

[Ron] He was, and as straight
as he'd ever been.

[Buster] And I missed my cue.
And I missed my cue.

[Ron] And Gob and Tony
finally reconnected.

- Sorry about jumping my line.
- [Gob] I don't think anyone noticed.

They were probably
just so surprised to see me still alive.

Like you were blown away
to see me alive?

You disappeared during that closet bit.
I thought that you were ghosting me.

- To make me feel like a fool.
- [Tony] No, look.

I had to switch out
with a mannequin in the closet

and pretend I was in the cement.

Oh, no. Yeah, no,
I figured that out to do the...

But when the Gay Mafia
dumped that body on me,

you know, I... I just, uh... I don't know,

- I thought maybe it wasn't a trick.
- [Tony] Oh, so they wanted to scare you.

My God,
they're such a bunch of drama thugs.

Well, I might not have been d*ad,
but my career was.

I was doing three shows a day
in Branson in the, uh,

- Yakov Smirnoff Theater.
- What's he like?

Disappointing. Disa... Uh, disappointing.

Yeah, he treats you
like an audience member.

But you freed me from that.
I still don't know

how you got those Mafia guys
to cancel my contract.

Well, I offered them a better contract.

♪ Hot cops
We'll clean up the town ♪

♪ We'll turn that old frown
Upside down ♪

So I guess we're just a couple
of straight guys, huh?

- What a relief, huh?
- Same. Big-time, same.

I guess I can go back to Joni Beard now.

And I might make it official
with Sally Sitwell.

- So...
- [Sally] Tony!

- Tony!
- Hey. Yes, I see you.

Cool out. One second. She's, um...

Since her dad went missing,
she needs somebody

to run Sitwell Construction, so...

- I guess that would make us competitors.
- [Tony sighs]

I guess, uh,
friendship is out of the question, then.

But, I mean, we could do other stuff.

Yeah. Like with our hands.

Just hands.

I'd like that.

Me, too.

[both] Just hands!

♪ I get up, I get down... ♪

And with the Chinese delegation gone,

Michael and his son celebrated.


Great idea to have me lose that tooth
when I hit the ground. It worked great.

[Michael] And we printed that
in less than two hours.

It was really good.
Hey, hey, hey, perfect timing.

Chinese impressed? Or not?
They didn't see the big finish.

- Maybe they...
- Well, no.

They got a sense of you. Very accurate.

Yes, well,
we have Buster to thank for that.

I gave him the mask
and asked him to throw down a mannequin

to put in the wall.

God knows where he dug that up.

A good assistant never tells. [chuckles]

[Gob] And I see you ruined another shirt.

I thought you'd chicken out
and crack at the finish.

If that's...

[Ron] And perhaps it was those words

that helped Michael remember
what it was that happened

on the night of Cinco...

- You're too chicken for that.
- You're the chicken, and not a spring one.

- [Ron] ...after talking to Lucille 2...
- How dare you say that to me!

...that he was so ashamed of.


Chick-chick-chick. [clucks]

- [Lucille 2 and Michael scream]
- [Michael grunts]

[Ron] It was an impression
that not only cost him

- his last shirt...
- Are you all right?

[Ron] ...but that he chose to keep
to himself.

Well, I didn't chicken out. I mean,
people even say I stole the show.

You know, I'm thinking about doing,
like, a solo show.

Maybe do some close-up magic.

- A little sleight of...
- Foot.

- Oh. Is it that obvious?
- Yeah.

- Did you get that from my office?
- [Buster] Yeah, I Ali-Baba-ed a hand,

- but at least they sent me a lefty.
- [Lucille] Just talked to Sally.

She's never going to approve the wall.
Called it a debacle.

And the Chinese got stuck
with the software.

- [both] Yep.
- [Gob] Wait. But isn't it really valuable?

Uh, didn't Murphybrown fix it?

- [Ron] Briefly.
- You made Fakeblock.

You wanna see Ben Affleck's peen?

[Ron] Because after installing
his homemade software

into George Michael's computer...

[Tobias] Yep. What? Where is it?
It's all scrambled now.

- It's gone.
- [Murphybrown] Yep, and forever.

I fixed it so there's no way
to actually see the movie now.

- So, um, um...
- So, basically,

you came up
with a way to destroy content?

- [Murphybrown] Yep.
- [Tobias] Damn it.

All right. Well, we're back to poor.

Looks like you two will be sharing
a sleeping bag tonight.

[Gob] It's just sad
because we also don't have the wall.

It would have been so nice to be
super rich again, you know?

Oh, nobody's gonna build a wall.

to the succeeding New York Times,

Donald Trump doesn't even have
a... a chance of winning that election.

Oh, I don't know,
don't count out his likability.

Oh, I suppose someone should let
toe-quotes "Rebel" know

- that the deal is off, right?
- Yeah... gotta... gotta say thanks to her.

[Ron] But, of course,
Rebel wasn't in on the con.

Maeby was.

- Hey, Michael.
- [George Sr.] Uh, how about that?

- I guess they really did save the day.
- Shh. They'll hear you.

Then they'll want something
for being heroes.

Well, too late. I already did hear you.

They're here for their paychecks.

But I'll settle for a bedroom
with half bath.

Nice try, but it wasn't exactly
your idea to protest.

It was your daughter's.

Where is that rebel?

[Ron] She was celebrating with her cousin.

Wow. Someone thinks his cousin
is his mom.

Uh, ex... excuse me, it wasn't her idea
to have paid protesters.

It was mine.

I was hoping it would bring out
Lucille Austero.

But the trial is done!
[chuckling] I mean, why do we care?

You don't really think
I had anything to do

with her missing, do you?

Do you?

- Oh, no, Buster!
- Personally, I have nothing...

- No.
- Of course not.

- Oh, honestly!
- Remember who's in your corner.

- Why is everybody so scared?
- Oh, hi, Uncle Buster.

We were just speculating
as to where Lucille 2 ended up.

Uh, we assumed she'd be here to protest.

Well, maybe there's a surprise
under one of these burqas.

[Lucille] You have got to be kidding.

it's about time you showed your face,

after what you've done
to our family, you...


[Tobias] Wait, so, at the... Protester...

That was you kicking me...

- [Tobias and Lindsay] In the balls.
- [laughs]

Yeah, your mother was kicking me
in the balls.

I thought you left
to find your real mother.

She's d*ad.
Buster pushed her down some stairs.

Oh, my God. Lucille 2 is your mother?

Mimi. Not Lucille 2.

Oh, right.
That is who I pushed down the stairs.

- Hey, hey, hey.
- Well, I just... I just put my... [grunts]

How often do you get to do that
when you're holding one of these?

I showed her the rest
of the Ron Howard series.

I knew this day was too good to be true.

Let me have it.
I'm a liar and a terrible mother

- for keeping it from you.
- [Lindsay] Yeah.

That's kind of true.

Your anger spread to me,
made me a horrible partner to Tobias.

And I will say you weren't
the most loving mommy yourself.

But to be fair,
you barely knew Murphybrown, so...

Oh, what the [bleep]?

Oh, yes. And you were a horrible mother
to Maeby, too.

[Lindsay] Okay, but on the other hand,

you hid this ugly secret from me
so I wouldn't know my mother deserted me.

So, you were a critical, difficult mother,

but I gotta be honest, Lucy,
you're an amazing sister!

[chuckles] Half-sister.

[Tobias] I'm wondering
if this means that you will, uh,

perhaps be willing to... take me back.

- We're a family.
- [chuckles]

Maeby really wanted to roll her eyes,

but not as much as she wanted the hug.

- [George Sr.] Wow. Family of the year.
- The mother[bleep] year!

Huh? Nothing breaks us apart.

What happened to Michael
and George Michael?

It's like they never showed up.

[George Sr.]
Where the hell are they going?

[Lucille] Probably pulling the car around.

I think they might be ready to move on.

[chuckles] Right.
Michael always comes back.

He thinks he has to "bring us together."

[chuckles] Oh, Michael is such a zero.

- Oh, he'll be back. [chuckles]
- Michael always comes back.

[Gob] Oh, he'll be back.

after something goes horribly wrong,

based on something stupid we did.

I mean, this... [chuckles]
He'll be... God, Michael.

No, no. I don't think anything's
gonna go horribly wrong

for a long, long ti...

[Ron] On the next Arrested Development...

We're taking down the wall.
What do you want us to do about this part?

[Ron] The family deals
with some fallout from the wall.

Oh, no, that's nothing. Just take it down.

No, I don't think we should do that.
It'll give away the trick.

- We don't wanna reveal the trick.
- [Gob] What are you talking...

It doesn't matter.
Everybody knows that's not me.

You put in a mannequin. That's the trick.

[Lucille] Yeah. It's creepy.
It looks like a person.

- Get it out of here.
- Plus, I wanna get my mask back.

[grunts softly]

[all gasp]

Hey, g*ng,
does Buster's mannequin look like...

Judy Garland.

[Lucille] Is it Lucille 2?

Why is she smiling?

[indistinct radio chatter]

This isn't a mannequin.

This is...

the happiest corpse I've ever seen.

[clicks tongue] Okay, I did it. So...

But doesn't she remind you of Mom?

[brass version of "Cabaret" playing]

[upbeat music playing]
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