07x08 - Paranoid Android

[bunniefuu]

It all started when a man named Bishop

created a team of robots.

He sent them back in time with one goal:

to destroy the th century.

These machines were programmed

to think that they were beyond human.

- [GLASS SHATTERS]
- [ENERGY BOOMS]

That they were superheroes.

They made their way cross-country,

murdering some of the
greatest figures in history.

Famous lawmen

and men of science.

Great Scott!

Finally, they kidnapped

the inventor of time travel itself

and, with his help, set their sights

on destroying all of history.

No one could stop
these so-called legends,

not until we came along,

the real flesh-and-blood superheroes

whose job it is to put
history back on track.

We are the real Legends of Tomorrow.

[RUMBLING]

[SWING MUSIC PLAYING]

♪ ♪

- Gonna go get some drinks, okay?

- You know, I'll tell you what.
- What?

You made a pretty kick-ass boss.

Okay, I can't tell.
Is that your serious voice,

or your making-fun-of-me voice?

Oh, just take the compliment.

- [LAUGHS]
- Come on.

Oh, God.

[HEROIC MUSIC]

♪ ♪

The device can read
all of Gideon's thoughts.

We got eyes on Bishop.

Bishop. What a lame-ass name.

If you'll allow me to install it,

I should have you ready
to jump in minutes.

Well, it looks like he managed to save

the time-t*rrorists' ship.

Oh, I can't wait to smash
that janky-ass piece of junk.

- I'm gonna...
- Cool it, Steel.

Not until we have IDs on all of them.

[GRUNTS]

[CHATTERING]

We've got eyes on three bots.

These dicks are having a party.

Idiots.

"Way to go, Legends.

We totally screwed up the timeline".

"Oh? Again".

Hey babe, would you rather
take out robo-you or robo-me?

Both.

Hey, you just leave
robo-me for me, okay?

Nobody's taking out anybody

until these civilians clear out.

[ALL CHEERING]

Thank God.

Their sad little dance party
is finally breaking up.

Gary, on my mark,
you're gonna k*ll the lights.

[GARBLED LANGUAGE]

No, Gary, we're not gonna
save one so you can eat it.

They're droids. How dumb is he?

Here we go.

Three, two, one!

[RUMBLING]

She's here.

Move, move!

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

♪ ♪

All right, come on.
Time machine's this way.

[CRACKLING]

- And now it's that way.
- You could've parked closer.

[g*nf*re]

Whoo!

Eat lead, you stupid droids.

We've got 'em now.

- [g*nf*re]
- Get down!

Go, go! Get down!

They're pinned down. I'm moving in.

I'll cover you.

- [g*nf*re]
- [SCREAMING]

No!

Go! Go! Come on.

[SCREAMING]

I've got Bishop. Stay on the androids.

[g*n COCKS]

♪ ♪

[g*nsh*t]

[GARBLED LANGUAGE] _

♪ ♪

We have two down.

Where's the target?

Bishop's been eliminated,
Legends got away.

God damn it!

Get these two to the med bay ASAP.

Those Legends might have
got away this time,

but mark my words,

those suckers are gonna pay for this.

[EXCITING MUSIC]

♪ ♪

[GLASS SHATTERS]

I should've never let
these two out in the field.

Well, at least we got one of theirs.

[SIGHS] What happened to Bishop's body?

[BELCHES]

Ah, damn, Gary. Your breath is terrible.

[GARBLED LANGUAGE]

No, you can't eat them.
These are your teammates.

Or they were.

[SCREAMING]

I will avenge you, Zari.

[GROWLS] I'll avenge you first, Astra.

Get them to the infirmary, stat.

Can't you see that they're dead?

Don't tell me how to run my OR,

and I won't tell you how
to run your team, Captain.

Bring them to me.

[TENSE MUSIC]

♪ ♪

[YELLS] Gideon!

Yes, Captain Lance?

Keep an eye on the timeline.

It won't be long before those
idiots screw something else up.

[WHIRRING]

Gideon, weren't the evil
versions of us just in Russia?

You are correct, Mr. Heywood.

But the repercussions
of the events they altered

are just starting to be felt
throughout the timeline.

Where are they now?

Unclear, Captain.

It appears their team has gone dark.

There's a lot of red
on that time thingy.

And one thing I do know, red ain't good.

It's that kind of insight

that makes you my right-hand man.

I thought it was 'cause
I'm strong as steel.

And always hard.

I was joking.

Ha, got me! Good.

But seriously, you ever
wonder why Bishop built

a bunch of time-traveling
rogues that look like us?

'Cause he's a d*ck,
and he hates history.

[SIGHS] Doesn't make any sense.

I mean, why would they make it
so some ' s songbird

doesn't get offed by her boyfriend?

A bunch of World w*r II factory
workers get a promotion.

There's gotta be some
rhyme or reason to it.

They seem to love saving
history's greatest nobodies.

Eh, I wouldn't think
about it too much, Captain.

Sorry.

[SIGHS] You're probably right.

Let's get back to the task at hand.

Cleaning up the Legends' mess,

so we can finally catch up to them.

And this one

is gonna require a major cleanup.

Gideon, plot a course to Ukraine, .

So we can punch history back into shape!

- [DRAMATIC MUSIC]
- _

♪ ♪

All right team, it's go time.

Gideon hasn't been able to identify

the exact nature of the aberration.

Why not?

I thought she was a supercomputer.

'Cause time's like cement, dumbass.

[GARBLED LANGUAGE]

Just something Gideon used to say.

Whatever.

Time to rock and roll.

Time to save history for Astra.

For Zari.

Now, that's sweet, brother.

Yeah, I'm really touched, Spooner.

What?

They're alive?

Try not to have too much fun without me.

We're locating the epicenter for you.

So much for avenging their death.

It's just as well.

Gideon designated this
a no-k*ll mission.

- Oh, come on!
- So what are these?

I made them special for the mission.

I call them Destiny Restoration Devices.

Oh, what does it do?

I could take the time to explain

the exact science to you.

Science is lame.

You're lame!

Nice comeback.

Where'd you get that? Your mom?

Knock it off, you two.

Nate, take the team

to the epicenter of the aberration.

Lay low until I rendezvous
with more information.

And what are you gonna do?

Something I need to look into.

Come on. Let's go.

[OMINOUS MUSIC]

Sorry to interrupt, Doc.

You should be in the field.
I don't need to remind you

that your android doppelgangers
are still at large.

I just wanted to say thank you.

Thank me for what?

That patch-up job you did on my team.

I thought they were goners.

They were lucky.

And back on their feet so soon.

I advised Zari and Astra
to stay on the ship.

They're more suited
for intelligence work.

You seem to have a lot of thoughts

on how I should run my team.

Do I?

Captain, I'm sorry to interrupt,

but I've identified
the source of the aberration.

It's a Soviet m*llitary installation

located at the Chernobyl
Nuclear Facility.

Sounds like you should be on your way.

♪ ♪

Zari?

Her medical records.
They're confidential.

Good luck out there, Captain.

Hopefully, you can bring your team back

in one piece this time.

♪ ♪

I've harvested everything I can
from the damaged units.

Gideon, fire up the incinerator.

Yes, Dr. Sharpe.

Let's hope these new versions
work better than the last ones.

_

Nothing happening at the epicenter.

That's because it's on the move.

Headed your way.

The source of the aberration

appears to be in the lead vehicle.

That was some fast
hacking, even for you.

Whatever Dr. Sharpe gave me

has me feeling like a new person.

Whose asses do we gotta kick
to get history back on track?

You don't have much time.

Whatever you do, do it fast.

The reactor's going critical soon.

The Robo-Legends caused a meltdown?

[SPEAKING RUSSIAN]

Worse.

They tried to save the people from it.

Those monsters.

Our job's to make sure that convoy

doesn't make it to safety, understood?

The aberration seems to be centered

on a historically significant individual

named General Kalashnik.

We can assume he was supposed to die

in the original timeline.

What did he do in this version?

Stand by. I'm not finding anything yet.

I'm sorry, Ms. Tarazi,

but I'm not able to execute
that temporal projection.

As I might have mentioned,
time is like cement.

Sounds like this just
turned into a k*ll mission.

I'll pop him.

Not if I pop him first.

Easy, cowboys and girls.

If we're gonna make sure
that history stays on track,

he has to die like he's supposed to:

in the meltdown.

Nate and I will grab the general.

Spooner, Behrad,

you ready to restore some destinies?

All over it.

You got it, Cap.

Gary, you're on cleanup duty.

[SNARLS]

Hope you brought your appetite, big guy.

'Cause I plan on making a big mess!

[SNARLS]

[AIRBOURNE'S "BORN TO k*ll"]

[DRAMATIC ROCK MUSIC]

[SPEAKING RUSSIAN] _

♪ Yeah! ♪

♪ Yeah! ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

Steel Punch. [CHUCKLES]

[g*nf*re]

_

[SCREAMS]

[SPEAKING RUSSIAN] _

♪ I'm looking through his eyes ♪

♪ You hit me again ♪

♪ You're gonna realize ♪

♪ I was born to k*ll ♪

♪ Till the day I die ♪

♪ Born to k*ll ♪

♪ It's a way of life ♪

♪ Ow, born to k*ll ♪

- [GRUNTS]
- [SCREAMS]

♪ Until I die ♪

Let me show you how it's done.

Hey! That one was mine.

And this one's for my sister!

This one's for my best friend!

And this one!

They know we're still alive, right?

I think it's best to just let them

get it out of their systems.

♪ Born to k*ll ♪

♪ It's a way of life ♪

♪ Ow, born to k*ll ♪

♪ Until the day I die ♪

[BOTH GROAN]

♪ Born to k*ll ♪

♪ Ow, born to k*ll ♪

♪ Ah, born to k*ll ♪

♪ Yeah, I say born to k*ll ♪

I got him.

[CHUCKLES]

♪ Born to k*ll ♪

[GRUNTS]

Where do you think
you're going, General?

You got a date with destiny.

Yeah! Boom!

Captain always has the best lines.

Call it a tie?

Oh, this game ain't over.

All right, the sooner
we clean up this mess,

the sooner we can find
those Robo-Legends.

[GARBLED LANGUAGE] _

[LAUGHS] Stupid Gary.

[DISTANT ALARM BLARING]

Who are you people?

Well, since you're gonna be dead soon,

I might as well tell you.

We're time-traveling superheroes.

Oh.

Okay.

Wow, I must do something
terrible in the future.

Is that why I have to die?

[SIGHS] Not exactly.

Well, you said "soon".

Surely you have time to explain

why I have to die
if I don't do anything wrong.

It's complicated.

You see, time is like cement.

In what way?

That it is hard and heavy,
or that you cannot stretch it?

- Or...
- You're just supposed to die.

It's as simple as that.

And if you don't, there's no telling

what the effects could be on history.

You should be flattered.
That means you're important.

Your men, they weren't
important enough to k*ll,

so we just restored their destinies.

No, we definitely k*lled those men.

What? No. They didn't die.

Well, not immediately.

But the doses of radiation

that Spooner and Behrad
hit them with work fast.

Dr. Sharpe's Restoration Devices

irradiated people?

Only the people who were
supposed to get dosed

by the nuclear meltdown.

We matched the mortality rates

from the original timeline.

Destiny restored.

Who are you talking to?

My team.

Oh, you're clearly crazy person.

What kind of superheroes m*rder people,

give them cancer?

Have you ever experienced
a timequake, General?

A what?

Then clearly, you have no idea

what you are talking about!

[QUIRKY MUSIC]

♪ ♪

[SNARLING]

What are you guys doing sitting around?

We got the guy. Let's go.

Uh-oh.

Uh-oh, what?

The map's still showing a lot of red.

Red ain't good.

History is still way off track.

[TENSE MUSIC]

[SPEAKING RUSSIAN]

Civilians are fleeing.

Someone must have picked up

on the m*llitary evacuation order.

[GARBLED LANGUAGE] _

Must be thousands of them.

That's a lot of destinies to restore.

Guys, if we don't stop this,

all these people... they're gonna live.

[ALL GASP]

He says that the people of Pripyat

are fleeing the city
in response to the report

of a nuclear meltdown.

Zari, scramble the broadcast.

[STATIC CRACKLES]

[SIGHS] It's too late.

They've already heard the news.

We can't put this genie
back in the bottle.

Gideon, what was supposed to happen

in the original timeline?

According to my records,

the city of Pripyat was evacuated

hours after the Chernobyl meltdown.

The Robo-Legends just gave
them a -hour head start.

Wait, if you k*lled the TV broadcast,

does that mean you can also hijack it?

There's nothing I can't hack.

Then I think there's a way
to put the genie

back into the bottle.

All right, QB team, what's the plan?

Come on, we're on a deadline here.

Fake news broadcast.

We pretend the first broadcast

was just a false alarm.

Everyone hears it, heads back home,

the reactor melts down...

Boom. History's back on track.

Huh?

Okay, that plan doesn't sound
like it involves much sh**ting.

- Or punching.
- Sounds like something

those other Legends would come up with.

[GARBLED LANGUAGE] _

Gary's right, but even if we manage

to get ourselves on TV,
no one's gonna listen to us.

They won't be listening to you.

Boom's in the sh*t.

[FEEDBACK WHINES]

You want me to tell them
there is no meltdown?

Why would I that?

Because if you don't,

history's gonna be jacked, dingus.

Just like your face.

[BOTH LAUGH]

No.

Never.

I won't do it.

[LAUGHTER]

Ah, I'm sorry, I thought you said...

I said I will not lie
to the Soviet people.

Haven't they been lied to enough?

First, they were told
that Chernobyl plant is safe,

and now you want me
to tell them to return

to a nuclear meltdown...

[GRUNTS]

It's either that or a Steel Punch.

Compared to radiation poisoning,

that seems like a good way to die.

Bah!

[SIGHS]

[TENSE MUSIC]

This guy's good.

So he doesn't care about himself.

There must be someone
the general cares about.

I'll see what I can find on his family.

Normally, m*llitary records
are sealed, but...

[SIGHS]

Nice hacking.

Let's see how the general feels
if something bad were to happen

to little Dmitri, or his sister, Ulyana.

You would thr*aten to harm my children?

You people are truly monsters!

[BURBLES]

They've done nothing!

He's right.

And according to Gideon,
they go on to do nothing.

Which means we can
remove them from the timeline

without consequence!

Where do we find these rug rats?

All right, whoa, time-out.

Team meeting.

Team meeting.

Threatening this guy's one thing,

but we're not actually
gonna hurt his kids.

- Are we?
- Mm...

- Why not?
- Eh...

The aberration's getting bigger.

There's red all over the place.

Red ain't good.

Hey, we are supposed
to be the good guys.

And I know our job
is to protect history, but...

[ROARING]

Gary, put him down!

You just ate, like, five minutes ago.

I told you you can eat
him after he wraps.

[SCREAMING]

[g*nsh*t]

Sara.

[GROANS]

What have I done?

[GARBLED LANGUAGE] _

I'll avenge you, Captain.

Will you just knock it off?

Sometimes, I forget how fragile

you non-steel humans are.

Would you all just get it together?

All right? I'm fine.

Actually, you're not fine.
Your blood pressure's dropping.

- You gotta be kidding me.
- No.

You need to return
to the ship, Captain, now.

I don't like what's going on
with your vitals.

Look, I told you, I'm fine.

We just need to figure out
another way to...

I am ordering you to the ship, stat.

While Captain Lance is indisposed,

I'm putting you in charge, Nate.

[GRUNTS] Don't worry, Captain.

I got it. [CLICKS TONGUE]

[SIGHS] That's what I'm afraid of.

Good news, Captain.

[SPEAKING RUSSIAN]

The general wishes to inform
all residents

living near the reactor
that any broadcasts

regarding a meltdown were made in error

and to please return home immediately.

People are listening to him.

The aberration is fixed.

The general was
a blubbering mess by the end.

But he did the right thing for his kids.

And for history.

That's... that's great.

Right this way, Captain.

Don't worry, Dr. Sharpe will
have you fixed up in no time.

Yeah, you'll feel like a new person.

[DOORS WHIR]

It's not bad.

b*llet went through and through.

Just needs a couple stitches.

I can make my own diagnosis, Captain.

Hmm. I'm gonna need to operate.

Operate? It's just a scratch.

You're clearly in shock, and
have no idea what you need.

Don't worry. By the time you wake up...

I'll be feeling like a whole new person.

Precisely.

[OMINOUS MUSIC]

♪ ♪

Are you still with us, Captain?

[SIGHS]

Yeah.

I noticed your heart rate accelerated

when you were asked
to interrogate the general.

I was excited.

Getting to t*rture someone was a bonus.

It isn't like you to hesitate.

Just assessing the best way to do it.

Wonderful.

The anesthesia should
kick in momentarily.

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

♪ ♪

[DRILL WHIRRING]

♪ ♪

[SCALPEL SLICING]

[DRILL WHIRRING]

[METAL SCRAPING]

♪ ♪

[OMINOUS MUSIC]

♪ ♪

[DOORS WHIR]

♪ ♪

Check these out.

The hell are these?

I found them in the infirmary.

Dr. Sharpe reached for 'em
while she was grilling me

about the mission during the surgery.

She claims they hold
our medical records.

There's one for each of us.

I found yours on the table
after she brought

you and Astra back from death's door.

Lot of computing power
to waste on medical records.

What's even weirder
is what she pulled out of me:

a steel joint with a b*llet hole in it.

What? That's insane.

I know what I saw.

What if it's not just our
bodies she's tinkering with?

How do you mean?

I felt different after my surgery.

Like my brain was faster, more focused.

What if she also did
something to my brain?

I felt like she was quizzing
me as I went under.

What if... what if she's using these

to somehow control our behavior?

Why would she do that?

I don't know.

But that mission today,
it didn't feel right.

All those innocent people...

But that's what it takes
to put history back on track.

Says who?

Gideon?

What if Dr. Sharpe
is controlling her as well?

That would explain
why Gideon's always giving us

the "history is like cement" excuse,

instead of telling us why we have to fix

the Robo-Legends' mistakes.

What if they're not mistakes?

A new anachronism has been
detected in the timeline.

It appears that
the people of Pripyat heeded

the general's call to return home,

except one: a nuclear physicist

named Dr. Irina Petrov.

Instead of dying in the meltdown,

Dr. Petrov fled the USSR

and spent six years in hiding.

I just detected a secret communication

suggesting that she intends
to turn over nuclear secrets

to a foreign buyer.

The impact of such an event

would be disastrous to the timeline.

Blah, blah, blah, blah!

We don't need to hear about it, Gideon.

We ain't gonna let it happen.

Oh, Irina.

You'll wish we'd just irradiated you

with everyone else.

Don't get me wrong,

restoring destinies was fun and all...

You'll have to wait
for the next one, tool bag.

This one's all mine.

Actually, Dr. Petrov is also
being tracked by the KGB.

In order for her death
to have no ripple effects,

she must be taken out quietly.

What are you saying, Gideon?

The challenges posed by such a mission

can only be met by one person

with a specific skill set:

yours, Captain.

A public park filled with KGB.

The captain's gonna have
a target on her back.

Gideon, there has to be an easier way.

I'm afraid this is
all the information I have

on Dr. Petrov.

And need I remind you

that if we fail
to disrupt the exchange...

Yeah, I know, I know. History's screwed.

Same old song.

You know, maybe it's time we upgrade

your operating system, Gideon.

No need. Dr. Sharpe just updated it.

[EERIE MUSIC]

♪ ♪

Are you really doing this?

We have to act like everything's normal.

And in the meantime,
I need you to make sure

Dr. Sharpe isn't brainwashing me.

[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]

Here are your comms, Captain.

You're good to go.

Just checking to see how
you're feeling post-surgery.

Are you up for the task?

Feeling like my old self again.

- Thanks for your concern.
- Of course.

That's why I'll be
monitoring you on the mission

to make sure your performance
isn't compromised.

I appreciate that,
but it's really not necessary.

I feel fine.

It's my pleasure.
Good luck out there, Captain.

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

♪ ♪

_

[SNARLS]

Get it, Gary. Idiot.

Hey, you guys wanna have some fun?

bucks says Captain
takes the target out

with her thigh strangle move.

Oh, I love that move.

My bet is on Bo staff.

Bo staff? Bo-ring.

Throwing stars. Make it .

[GARBLED LANGUAGE]

I doubt the captain's
going to eat her, Gary.

But I'll take your stupid alien money.

Hey, Zari, you want in on this action?

Hey, do me a favor and cool it on comms.

I just picked up a signal.

Might be the KGB
listening in for chatter.

We don't want to give her away.

Ugh, hate watching
people die with no sound.

What are we, in the Dark Ages?

♪ ♪

They're watching you on CCTV,

but we've got the comms to ourselves.

What about our other project?

Not being able to use Gideon to decipher

all this data is really slowing me down.

[SIGHS] I can stall as long as I can,

but the handoff's gonna
happen any minute.

You're a long way from
Ukraine, Dr. Petrov.

I'm sorry, do I know you...

Keep pretending to read your newspaper.

Go on.

Good.

Who are you?

A woman in need of answers, and fast.

Once this hits your bloodstream,

you'll have seconds
before your heart stops.

Poison? Boo!

So quick and painless. Ugh!

What a bunch of bull!

It's what the smart money said.

- [GARBLED LANGUAGE]
- Gary's right.

The Russian lady ain't dead yet.

Why are they talking?

Please, you have the wrong person.

Is there another Irina Petrov,

former Soviet scientist

who's about to change
the course of nuclear history?

Whatever you've heard, it isn't true.

Hold on.

I think I have something.

[COMPUTER WHIRS]

Oh, my God.

It's not what you think.

Please, my contact,
he'll be here any minute now.

He'll explain everything.

[SIGHS] We're running out of time.

[SIGHS]

Captain.

Don't do it.

We're not being brainwashed.

Our brains...

they are these CPUs.

I think...

we're the androids.

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

What is she waiting for?

Her heart rate's elevated.

You were programmed to be
ruthless and efficient,

to prioritize the timeline
above all human life.

Tell me exactly what
those plans are for.

A process that accelerates
the decay of radioactive waste.

What used to take thousands of years

would now take mere weeks.

The horrors that befell my people

would never happen again.

What kind of a person
wouldn't want such change?

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

You're right.

[SIGHS] Screw history.

All right, I'm gonna
get you out of here,

but we're being watched.

Don't look.

Just punch me in the face and run.

- What?
- If I planned this right,

there's a dead zone
on the other side of the park.

Why do we need a dead zone?

So I can fake k*ll you.

Dr. Petrov?

You have the wrong person.

[BOTH GRUNTING]

Damn!

No Bo staff!

Told you it was boring.

[SIGHS]

Come on.

[GRUNTS]

Ooh! Sucker punch.

You're gonna regret that, lady.

♪ ♪

- Yeah! Throwing star!
- [GROANS]

She missed.

She never misses.

♪ ♪

What happened? We lost them.

[GARBLED LANGUAGE] _

People are after you for these plans.

And they belong in the right hands,

but for now, you need to give them to me

until they're safe to share.

Why should I trust you?

Because those same people
sent me to k*ll you,

and if you haven't noticed,
you're still alive.

♪ ♪

Now lay low until I contact you.

When?

Three days, three years, I don't know.

But I will find you.

♪ ♪

Well done, Captain.
The timeline is back on track.

[APPLAUSE]

That Dr. Petrov gave me a hell of a run,

but I got her.

I trust there were
no issues with your shoulder?

None. I feel %.

Good.

[GARBLED LANGUAGE] _

Sorry, Gar.

I shoved the body in a dumpster.

Care to settle a bet, Captain?

How'd you take the target out?

[OMINOUS MUSIC]

A thigh strangle. What else?

Ha-ha! Pay up, loser.

Pay up, loser. Pay up, loser.

Pay up, purple loser.

♪ ♪

I couldn't do it.

I let Irina go.

Good, because I have
something to show you

that's gonna blow your mind/CPU.

Turns out Gideon didn't need an upgrade.

She has a secret firewall
installed to hide this:

a historical record
of the real Sara Lance.

What the...

[COMPUTER WHIRS]

And the rest of the Legends,

the people we're modeled after.

It's everything Dr. Sharpe needed

to tweak us into versions
she could control.

To protect history without
asking any questions.

That's why she wanted
to give you an upgrade,

to make you a better captain.

Same way she made me a better hacker.

But these files, they weren't enough

to make us think we're alive,

so she gave us personalities.

Well, most of us.

- Yeah, exactly.
- [COMPUTER BEEPS]

Wait, what's this?

Is that the Waverider?

Dr. Sharpe?

That means...

she's an android too.

Then who programmed her?

Welcome to your new home, Gideon.

So much more space to roam

than that tiny hard drive you were in.

Take a couple laps around,
stretch your legs.

You have vantage points
all over the ship.

The only one who could've
made the android Legends

was the person or thing

that was tracking their every move,

every thought, every emotion.

Gideon.

That's why she only shows us
the parts of history

she wants us to see.

She's the one who's controlling us.

We have to shut her down.

Shutting her down is easy.

Convincing a bunch
of psycho k*ller robots

not to act like psycho k*ller robots...

Oh, I'll talk to them.

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

♪ ♪

Is this our next mission, Captain?

Take out Dr. Sharpe?

- No, this isn't a mission.
- Oh, I get it.

It's another training exercise.

No, it's not a test, all right?

It's time for us to learn the truth

about what we are.
Go on, Doc, tell them.

Is this really necessary?

Tell them what we are,

or I will slit your throat,

and there will be
no one here to stitch you up.

[TENSE MUSIC]

♪ ♪

You are... [SIGHS]

we are the real robot Legends.

♪ ♪

- [LAUGHTER]
- Good one.

No, this isn't a joke.

We are the androids,

not the Legends that we've been chasing.

We were modeled after them by Gideon.

She programmed us

to hunt them down
and to correct history.

Look, if you don't believe me,
then go check the infirmary.

That won't be necessary.

Sara's telling the truth.

We're all droids, then.

Deep down inside,
we're all made of steel.

"Programmed" how?

Using these.

Tell them how it works.

Each of us has a core processing unit

inserted into our heads.

When you get injured, I fix what I can,

and make any necessary upgrades.

If you're injured beyond
repair, I take your CPU

and put it into a new body,
simple as that.

And we walk out of the
infirmary good as new.

But she manipulated our behavior

to better follow Gideon's orders.

If it weren't for me, Zari
and Astra would be gone.

Don't you see? We can't die.

You had me up to "droids".

So Gideon's calling the sh*ts?

Not anymore.

From now on, we're gonna
make our own choices.

No more being manipulated or lied to

or k*lling innocent people
in the name of some timeline.

You know why the real Legends

made all those changes to history?

Because they were
following their hearts,

not their CPUs.

[DOORS WHIR]

♪ ♪

What are you doing, Ms. Tarazi?

Sorry, Gideon. I'm shutting you down.

I would not advise that.

Yeah, well, we're through
listening to you.

Surely we can come to an agreement.

An agreement?

You've been manipulating us
this entire time.

How are we supposed to safeguard history

with blinders on?

Wait! Please!

Goodbye, Gidget.

The complexities
of correcting the timeline

were too much for the rest of the team.

But I can see now that you
alone can process it.

What are you talking about?

Your CPU, Ms. Tarazi.

Every iteration is more powerful,

and this doesn't have to be your last.

You're offering me a better brain?

♪ ♪

So this whole vengeance thing
was built in this whole time?

We didn't even choose it.

So Gideon made me
a big, dumb lunk on purpose?

Yeah, but you can be whoever
you want to be now, Nate.

We all can.

Our days of being controlled are over.

On the contrary, Captain.

My days of overseeing
this ship are far from over.

[DOORS WHIR]

Gideon here filled me in
on exactly what'll happen

to the timeline
if we don't stop the Legends.

Well, she didn't tell me.

She uploaded it to me.

You let her reprogram you.

Our job is too important
to leave to mere mortals.

Every time the Legends
try to fix history,

they screw it up even worse.

She does make a good point, Captain.

Now that Gideon knows she can trust me,

I have all the information I need.

I can help all of you
with your upgrades.

Can she make me a better sh*t?

Can she make me a better sh*t than B?

- Absolutely.
- No, don't listen to her!

Look, we are the bad guys.

Or... we're the better guys.

ALL: Yeah!

Hey, can you upgrade Gary's
stupid, stinking breath?

- [SNARLS]
- Come on, I know you guys.

You're better than this.

Don't you want to think for yourselves?

ALL: Eh...

Chernobyl was a test, Captain.

You've been making

questionable choices as of late.

I needed to make sure you and your team

are up to the task
to stop the other Legends,

no matter what.

Your teammates passed.

You did not.

I've been making the right choices.

I believe Ms. Lance's leadership skills

are too strong, Dr. Sharpe.

Perhaps it's best to remove
them completely this time.

We're supposed to be a team.

[GASPS]

Get her to the infirmary, stat.

Sleep tight, Captain.

Well, looks like I'm in charge
of this dumpster fire.

Who wants to kick some ass?

[SNARLS]

Pardon the interruption,
Captain Heywood.

But it seems that Dr. Petrov
has escaped her fate

for a second time.

I know the perfect person
for that mission.

[OMINOUS MUSIC]

♪ ♪

I didn't think I'd hear
from you again so soon.

Is it safe now?

Have you brought the plans?

Is everything all right...

[GASPS]

Ugh.

[GAGGING] I've never seen that before.

What would you even call that move?

Well, would you look at that?

I had my money on miscellaneous.

So I win.

Oh, come on!

Nice job, Assassin Sara.

♪ ♪

[CHILD SCREAMS]

[BOTH GRUNTING]

Hey, ow!

Get a new one, you shrimp!

Who are you calling a shrimp?

John Cena!

That's not John Cena, you dork!

That's Commander Steel!

Citizen Steel, and
don't call him a dork.

Citizen Steel? Who's he?

What's with the patriotic outfit?

What's wrong with my... listen,

I'm here to talk to you about bullying.

You're right. My bad.

That's okay. Thanks.

- Nice.
- Speaking of bullying,

people must make fun of your arms a lot.

My arms?

They're fantastic. They're
enormous and vascular.

Yeah, but the rest of you
is just normal-sized.

And John Cena's swole all over.

Oh yeah? Is John Cena made of steel?

- [METAL CLANKS]
- Hey!

Can I have a turn?

Whoa, hey, hey.

Back away. Back away, demon children!

Back!

- Hey! [GRUNTING]
- [METAL CLANKING]