08x22 - Give Me The Blame

[bunniefuu]

Previously on
"desperate Housewives"...

Susan made a decision.

I'm gonna sell this house and
move back up there with you

and help raise the baby.

Karen's health took a turn
for the worse.

Looks like the cancer's spreading
faster than anyone thought.

Ben was summoned
before the court.

You're on a witness list
for Bree's trial?

Bree's friends cautioned her.

You have a crush on your lawyer.

You're on trial for m*rder, Bree.
You gotta keep a clear head.

And so does he.

Lynette ended her relationship
with Tom's boss.

She dumped me. Apparently she's
hung up on some other guy.

And this led...

You really suck
at this gay friend thing.

I can't take you seriously
in that dress.

To an unfortunate
misunderstanding.

Karen McCluskey
had never been sure

what her neighbors thought
of her.

Did they see her
as merely a babysitter...

An entertaining source
for gossip...

Or just the mean old lady
who lived down the street?

But for the first time
in her life,

she found herself thinking
about such things...

Because she knew that her life

was coming to an end.

Roy, it's time to go!

What's going on, Karen?

I'm, uh,
starting hospice care.

I thought you told the doctors
that you wanted to...

Croak at home? Yeah, I did.

But the oncologist is convinced
this is for the best.

What does he know?

Young quack thinks
I can't take care of wife.

He's worried about you, Roy.

You've got
high blood pressure, angina.

I'm racing you to the grave
as it is.

I don't want to push you in.

This was supposed to have been
my time with you,

and those bastards
are robbing me of it.

Would you prefer
to die at home?

- Well, sure, but...
- Then...

- We'll take care of you.
- Yeah. We can do it.

We'll take shifts.
It won't be hard.

Whoa, Nelly.
No, this is sweet,

but you gals have troubles of your own.
Bree's got her trial.

Lynette's marriage
is falling apart.

Gaby, those kids of yours are turning
into serial K*llers before our very eyes.

Okay, I'm not gonna argue
with you because you're sick...

And totally correct.

But I'm with the girls on this.
Let us take care of you.

I'm gonna require a lot of care,
you know.

We know, and we're gonna
be there for you.

Hey, boy nurses!

Bring the stuff back
in the house! She's staying.

- Come on. Let's go help.
- Okay.

I'm... actually speechless.

I don't know why
you're all doing this.

Don't you?

Yes, Mrs. McCluskey
had wondered

what her neighbors thought
of her.

She was pleased to discover
after all these years,

they thought of her
as a friend.

Desperate Housewives
Season , Episode

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The town of Fairview
had been rocked by scandal.

A housewife had been accused
of m*rder,

and her trial was growing
more sensational each day.

It truly was
all anyone was talking about...

Which is exactly
what another housewife

was worried about.

Gaby!

Ah, there you are.

Yep, just sitting here on the porch,
reading the ol'...

Sports section.

You hate sports...

And reading.

But I love you,
and you love sports,

so I've... started
to really get into it.

Really?

What's your... favorite
basketball team?

The... "Turtles".

- What the hell is this?
- It's nothing.

- You said the trial was going well.
- It was. It is! This is just a setback.

Damn it! How... Gaby, how many
setbacks is it gonna take

before Bree goes to prison
for something I did?!

Hey, Lee! Sports talk.

Gettin' a little heated
over here!

I can't do this anymore, Gaby.
I have got to step up.

Are you crazy? No!

How do you not feel
guilty about this?

I do, every second
of every day.

We just have to hold on
a little longer.

Bree says Trip knows what he's doing,
so we've just gotta give him a chance.

Yeah, I-I don't know.
I mean...

Turning yourself in now
would just be foolish.

You'd be throwing your whole life away,
abandoning our family. And for what?

To prove a point about
what an honorable guy you are?

Please, let's just see
how this plays out.

Okay.

But if things get any worse,
I'll have no choice.

- Lee! No!
- What?

- Stop!
- Don't tell me you've changed your mind.

Oh! No. I still wanna sell.

Thank God, 'cause I've already
spent my commission.

- On what?
- Isn't it obvious?

I had some
personal renovations done.

Ahh.

My ass!
I had my ass lifted.

Oh!
Um... of course.

How did I not notice?

That is one...

Perky Fanny.

I'm sorry. I've never been good
with ass compliments.

- So why don't you want the sign up?
- Well...

I haven't told the girls
I'm moving yet.

- Why not?
- I don't know.

Maybe because I can't even
believe I'm doing it myself.

- It's always hard to move.
- Yeah.

Putting my house on the market
in the middle of Bree's trial?

I mean, I just feel like
a bad person.

Okay, the fact that you're
worried about your friend

shows that you're not
a bad person.

By the way, if Bree gets convicted, do you
think she'll put her place on the market?

- Lee!
- And if Lynette gets divorced,

that house is gonna be
way too big for her.

Wow! I...

It kinda smacked me back.

- Hello?
- She's gone.

Hey, Penny! What's going on?
Where are ya?

Dad's. Did you hear me?
Jane's gone.

Whoa. Whoa. She's "gone" meaning...
She's not there right now?

Or... or she's gone gone?

Her stuff is moved out.

Even her toothbrush, mom!

- They broke up!
- Oh, my...

- Hang on.
- Your dad's on the other line!

Call me back!
Okay! Stay calm!

- I am.
- I was talking to me!

- Hey, Tom. What's up?
- Hey, are you gonna be around tonight?

Uh... I don't know.
Maybe. Probably.

Yeah. Why?

Um, I need to talk to you about something,
and I'd... I'd like to do it face-to-face.

- Oh, okay. What time?
- How about : ?

: ?
: is my favorite time.

- What? Why?
- I don't know. It just... always has been.

You know, eight is great.

- You okay?
- Uh, me? Oh, yeah. I'm just...

Cleaning the oven and...

The fumes are getting to me,

and I'm drunk... a little.

So I'll see you tonight?

O-okay. Bye.

Okay. Bye!

Yeah!

Thank you.

Yeah, mm. Don't
thank me just yet.

Mm. Bree...
I don't know exactly.

what Ben is gonna testify about,
but if it's as damning

as the prosecution seems
to think it is...

You don't have to
worry about Ben.

If his testimony is damaging
in any way,

- I'm gonna have to put Gaby back on the stand.
- No.

The dead guy
was her stepfather.

She has some connection
to this.

Absolutely not.

I'm the client.
You're the lawyer.

- You have to do what I say.
- It's your call.

But I've gotta tell you,
you're forcing me

to try this thing with one hand
tied behind my back.

Well, luckily, you have
more talent in that one hand

than most lawyers have
in their whole body.

You can do this.

I know you can.

Mr. Faulkner,
I am ordering you to answer.

Ms. Stone, repeat your question.

During your phone conversation
with the defendant,

she thanked you
for protecting her.

What was she referring to?

I'm sorry. I really don't
remember the conversation.

Maybe this will refresh
your memory.

- Your honor?
- Go ahead.

Mm.

I know, but even when
suspicion moved on to you,

you still protected me,
and that's very honorable.

- Really, it was no big deal.
- Maybe not to you.

You're not the one
who put a body in the ground.

You have to understand,
a day doesn't go by

when that does not
weigh heavily on my conscience.

So...

What were you protecting her from?

Again, sir, I'm ordering you to answer
the prosecutor's questions.

All right. I've had enough.
You're in contempt.

Bailiff, take Mr. Faulkner into custody.
Perhaps a night in jail

will help him to see things
differently.

- Can I at least make a call?
- One call. We're in recess.

So they're arresting him?

- What happens now?
- They'll bring him back tomorrow.

The D.A. will ask
the same question again.

And what if
he still doesn't answer?

Frankly, Bree,
I'm more worried if he does.

Oh!

Oh, my goodness, Renee.
You startled me.

- Is everything all right?
- No, it's not.

I just got a phone call
from Ben. He's in jail.

I know. I am deeply sorry
for this whole mess.

Do you wanna come inside?

I'm really not in the mood
for tea and biscuits.

Ben and I are
getting married next week,

and "correctional facility"
isn't exactly my dream venue.

I wish there was something
I could do.

There is. Ben is sitting
in that jail cell right now,

and I don't even know why,
and he won't tell me.

So you have to fix this.

Just release him from
whatever promise he made you.

Believe me, I wish I could
do that, but I can't.

Why not?

- I just can't...
- Bree...

Did you... k*ll that man?

Of course not. How could you
even think that?

I'll apologize when someone
starts telling me the truth.

Okay, let's get those lips
a little more glossy.

All right, enough, enough.
I'm meeting with Tom,

not prepping for a shift
at a bordello.

Yeah, but you're finally getting
back together. You've gotta look perfect.

Oh! And we still have time
for that Brazilian bikini wax.

If you mention that again,
I will strike you.

What the hell?

It's Tom!

- You said : !
- He said : !

I need to be alone with him.
You have to hide!

- Hide?!
- Yes!

What if you guys start
doing it right here?

I can't listen to that!
Well, maybe I could.

Hide! Hide! Put your fingers
in your ears! Go on!

Oh!

Hey.
You're early.

- Yeah. Sorry.
- You... you going somewhere?

No. No, I was just...
No.

It's fine, Lynette.
I understand. Y-you...

- You got a life.
- No. No, I really don't.

Come on in. You want a drink
or something?

No, thanks.
I'll just be a minute.

Come in.

Tom?

I'm filing the divorce papers
tomorrow.

You're... what?

We just gotta get out
of this gray area

that we've been stuck in.

It's... time

for both of us
to move to the next phase.

I just wanted
to tell you in person.

That's all
I really have to say.

Aren't you going after him?

Why not?

Because now I know.

Jane wasn't the problem.
It's me.

He doesn't want
to be married to me.

I guess we can both agree...

Orange is not my color.

Look...

I'm sorry I missed
the cake tasting, sweetheart.

Uh... I mean, did you maybe
bring one of them with you?

Mm, preferably
with a file in it.

Really? You're making jokes?

Hang in there, darling.
The trial can't last forever.

They gotta let me
out of here some time.

Or you could answer
their questions and get out now.

Yeah.
That's not how I'm built.

Ben, you have no idea
how long this could go on.

Am I gonna need
to cancel our wedding?

No! They got no motive,
no w*apon.

And Bree's alibi is solid.
She was with all of you

at that...
that progressive dinner party.

Wait. That was the night
of the m*rder?

Yeah. Why?

- Oh, my God.
- Renee, what is it?

Um...

I remember something
about that night.

I was looking out my
window, and it was late.

And I saw Bree
getting out of her car.

Enjoy your visit,
Ms. Perry?

- I'm sorry. Do I know you?
- Emily Stone.

I'm the prosecutor
in Bree Van De Kamp's case.

- I don't have anything to say to you.
- Oh, I think you do.

You have something to say
about the night of the m*rder.

Back there, when you were
talking to your fiancé,

- ...we heard every word.
- You can't do that.

There's no expectation
of privacy in jail.

So... let's talk.

I'm not gonna help you try
to convict my friend.

That's a shame,
because if you don't,

I call Immigration,

and Mr. Faulkner's on
a one-way flight back to Sydney.

Ready to talk now?

Mr. Faulkner, how are you today?

Oh, good.
Yeah, refreshed.

I asked you yesterday
if you were willing to discuss

your telephone conversation
with the defendant.

I remember.
Still won't answer.

Uh, can we just save everyone some
time and send me back to jail?

Bailiff, remove Mr. Faulkner.

We'll see you back here
tomorrow.

Your Honor, the prosecution
calls Renee Perry to the stand.

Renee?

Renee, what are you doing?

Renee!

I was lying in bed

when a noise from the street
woke me up.

It was about...
: A.M.

So I got up and I went
to the window.

And what did you see?

I saw Bree.

Her clothes were
kinda muddy, um...

Leaves in her hair.

She was...

Walking up her driveway.

Was she carrying anything?

Yes.

What was she carrying?

A shovel.

No further questions.

Renee, what did you just do?

I did what I had to do.
I told the truth.

What you said in there
could really hurt Bree.

Do you not understand
what's at stake here?

Friends aren't supposed
to turn on each other.

Oh, so I'm one of
the "friends" now?

What is that
supposed to mean?

All year long, you've been
keeping a secret from me.

Hey, just so we're clear,

I didn't want
to testify against Bree.

The D.A. was gonna
have Ben deported.

Oh, so, yeah, I picked
the man I love over you.

And judging by the way
you guys have treated me,

I made the right choice.

Trip. Trip!

That was bad?

Not out here.

I need the room.

- Uh, but the judge asked me to...
- Get out.

Okay.

- Did you see their faces?
- Whose faces?

The jurors.

I've been watching them.

After Renee's little story,

no one on that jury is buying
what you're selling.

What about you?

I don't know, Bree.

You haven't told me the truth yet.
Twice I've been blindsided

because I don't know
what the hell is going on.

You need to tell me
what happened that night.

I made a promise
to my friends.

You're gonna lose.

Do you understand that?
You are going to go to prison.

- You're scaring me.
- Good. You should be scared.

You're throwing your life away,
and it... and it pisses me off,

- ...'cause this affects more than just you.
- I don't understand.

Look, I-I-I'm saying
that you were wrong before.

You're not just my client,
and I'm not just your lawyer.

I'm also somebody who...

Really...

Oh, to hell with it.

Mmm.

It was Carlos.

Mmm.

You have to promise me
not to use this against him...

Or anyone else.

Tell me everything.

It was self-defense.

Alejandro
broke into her house,

and when Gaby came home,
he att*cked her.

This gem
just came on the market,

and as you can see,
it's a warm, cozy, homey place.

And don't worry,
they're taking the furniture.

- I just love your kitchen.
- Oh, thank you.

I can't tell you how many
mornings I've sat here,

looking out on the Lane,
having a cup of... Gaby.

- Gaby? - Gaby... who I haven't told
I'm moving yet.

Okay, Mr. and Mrs. Newman,
let me show you the upstairs.

- Uh, we're not done looking down here.
- Oh, but the upstairs is way better!

It's... that much closer
to heaven.

Come on, go, go!

- Hey.
- Hi! How's it going?

Great. It's my turn
to take care

of Mrs. McCluskey, so obviously,
I've been drinking.

- Can you take me to the courthouse?
- Sure.

Someone upstairs?

- Nope.
- Look at this closet space!

Just some old friends
from high school.

Are these low-flow toilets?

Who are very eco-friendly.
So I should get back to them.

I'll pick you up at noon.

Hey, great place
you have here.

Um... Gaby, uh,
these are my good friends

Fred and Jean.

Hello.

What year did you graduate?

Mr. Weston,
if the defense rests,

we can move on
to closing arguments.

Actually,
I have another witness.

A new witness at this point?

She's not new.

The defense recalls...

Gabrielle Solis.

- You promised.
- I also promised to keep you out of jail.

- What is he doing?
- I-I don't know.

You understand that you are
still under oath?

Ms. Solis,

I'd like to show you
a picture of the victim.

Do you recognize this man
as Ramon Sanchez?

No.

Your honor, I want a recess.

Only your lawyer can ask
for a recess, Ms. Van De Kamp.

Please sit down.

Do you know this man
by another name?

His name is Alejandro Perez.

And how do you know
Mr. Perez?

He was...

He was my stepfather.

Your Honor,

I insist on another recess,
please.

I'm... feeling a little...

Bree!

Order! Order!

We're in recess until tomorrow,
at which time we will see

if Ms. Van De Kamp
is able to continue.

Bree?

Don't touch me.

Jeez! You scared
the crap out of me!

They know it's Alejandro,
and you don't tell me?

Shh!

She just fell asleep.

Okay, this has
gone far enough.

First thing tomorrow,
I am telling the D.A. the truth.

No, you're not!
You're not doing anything.

- You got a better idea?
- Yes!

I'm gonna
tell them it was me.

Are you out of your mind?!

No! Look, listen to me.

I am a victim of abuse.
The jury's gonna side with me.

Who they're not gonna side with
is you, a -time felon.

- Gaby, you're crazy.
- No, I'm not.

Since the first moment we met,
you've protected me.

And I've been happy
to let you do it

because I've been
this selfish, spoiled brat.

Well, I don't want to be
that person anymore.

I'm tired
of taking from you.

So, please, this time,
just let me protect you.

You really think
that a jury is gonna believe

that you dragged a dead body
through the woods yourself?

Adrenaline. Fear.

You'd be surprised
what people can do.

I don't think that story's
gonna be enough, Gaby.

Well, I'll tell them exactly
what happened that night.

He came over,
he started attacking me,

and instead of saying you
k*lled him with a candlestick,

I'll say it was me.

Honey, it's : in the morning.
Are you okay?

I was just thinking
how proud I am of you.

Really?

You were just saying...
How much you wanna change, but...

You already have.

Five years ago, you never would
have offered to sacrifice yourself for me.

Thank you.

But there is no way I'm letting
you take the fall for this.

What?

But you just said you were proud
of how much I've changed.

Exactly. You've become this amazing
role model for our daughters.

They need you now
more than ever.

Wait.
But they need you, too.

No, they need a father who accepts
responsibility for his actions.

It has taken me a year, but I'm
finally going to be that guy.

Now I am going down to the court
first thing in the morning

and confess everything.

Carlos! Wait a minute!

I love you very much, Gabrielle, but there
is nothing that you can do to stop me.

Why would I put you
on the stand?

I was at
that progressive dinner party.

I can testify that Renee was
so stinking drunk

she couldn't tell her ass
from her elbow.

Okay.

That could be helpful.

I think I can, uh...

Fit you in next Monday.

Look at me.

I'm wearing a wig
and toting an oxygen t*nk.

Do I look like I'm gonna
make it to Monday?

Put me on the stand.

You'll be glad you did.

Gaby's running late.

What the hell?
Why don't you take a seat?

Listen, if they take me
into custody right away,

I won't get a chance
to talk to the girls.

Let's not talk
about that right now.

I don't want them seeing this
on the news.

You need to tell them that I love them

and that
you're in charge now.

Honey, I've always been
in charge.

I don't know why you made me
wear this thing.

No, it's, uh, it's freezing
in the courtroom.

You'll thank me later.

So handsome.

I'm gonna miss this face.

I love you.

Ladies first.

G-Gaby? A little rude.

You snooze, you lose.

Gaby, wait!

Hold on.

That's weird.

Remove your coat, please.

Okay.

Sir...

Sir, you wanna explain this?

I swear, I have no idea
how that...

Bye, Carlos.

Gaby, get back here!

We need backup!

- Gaby!
- Love you!

And, Mrs. McCluskey, you are a resident
of Wisteria Lane. Is that correct?

I've lived in that neighborhood
for years.

Wow. That's a long time.
Now Renee Perry has testified...

Let me tell you something
about a neighborhood.

Okay.

It's not just a bunch of houses
in the same place.

It's a community.

It's lives
that are connected,

people who care
about each other.

That's beautiful.
Now back to Ms. Perry...

I know it sounds sappy,
but damn it, it's true.

And these wonderful people
I'd lived beside...

Well, they're my family.

Your honor, I'm... I'm not sure
what we're getting from this.

Well, you will in a minute,
honey.

When you're in a family,
like me and the girls,

you protect each other.

That's just the way
it has to be.

So when, uh,
Gaby's stepfather came back...

Uh...

After everything
he'd done to her...

W-w-what do you mean?

It's no secret he abused her
when she was a kid.

- Objection.
- Overruled.

So that night,

when I saw him
creeping around the house,

I followed him in,
I picked up the candlestick,

and I k*lled
that son of a bitch.

Order!

Order!

Order in this courtroom!
Quiet down,

or I will clear
the courtroom!

Stop the trial!
I have something to say.

McCluskey just confessed.

Mine can wait.

Your honor,
this is preposterous.

There's no way that frail woman
could've committed this crime.

Adrenaline.

Fear.

You'd be surprised
what people can do.

Counselors...

My chamber now.

What the hell was that?

Your honor, I had no idea.

She begged me to put her on the stand.

I thought she was gonna
discredit Renee Perry.

Obviously, she needed to
get this off her conscience.

Oh, you are such a liar!

This is a stunt, a last-ditch
effort to save his client...

- And I want him sanctioned.
- Enough.

Mr. Weston, where do you plan
on going with this?

Well, now that the issue of
sexual abuse has been introduced,

I'll need to bring Ms. Solis
back on the stand.

Of course, she'll talk about what
a monster her stepfather was,

and as I recall,
most of our jurors are parents.

After I've taken them
through the sordid details

of what your victim did...

You can't possibly allow this.

Given the testimony
of the last witness, I have to.

Okay, Ms. Stone,
what do you want to do?

Ms. Stone?

Your honor, at this time,

we move to dismiss all charges
against Bree Van De Kamp.

Ms. Stone,
is there anyone else

that you would like to file
charges against at this time?

Given her advanced age
and declining health,

the people have decided not to press
charges against Karen McCluskey.

All right, in that case,

Ms. Van De Kamp, Mrs. McCluskey,
you are both free to go.

- Case dismissed.
- Aah!

Congratulations.

Thank you.

Hey! Oh!

- Oh, God! Oh, God.
- Oh, thank you.

Roy?

Why aren't you
at Bree's big victory party?

Uh, thought I'd
sit this one out.

Filed divorce papers today,
so I'm not really, uh,

up to bumping into Lynette.

Anyway, I, uh...

I wanted to come over
and see how Karen's doing.

Incredible thing
she did today.

Yeah, I'm proud as hell.

But it took
a lot out of her.

I brought her home, put her
right in bed.

Still, she is
one tough broad.

Ah.

What you got there?

Karen's pot roast recipe.

Best one I ever tasted.

She swore I'd never
get it out of her.

So how'd you convince her?

I...

Told her
we have this gift.

We know these are
our last days together.

So what's the point
of holding back?

I didn't want anything
to be left unsaid.

So...

We finally had that talk.

Yes, sir.

She told me...

She was the one

that lost our passports
on the way to Mexico that time.

I told her the truth
about my time in the service,

how I wasn't some tough guy
but scared to death.

She thanked me for always
being able to make her laugh.

And I...

I told her...

She was
the love of my life.

Tom...

It's so important
to say these things

when you can,

because when it's over,
it's over.

I hear ya.

Do you?

Yay.

- Somebody make a toast.
- Uh... oh, to Bree,

Um, who put her life on the line
to protect us,

and we will never forget
what you did.

- Aw.
- Hear, hear.

And... to Karen McCluskey,

the bravest woman
I have ever known.

Aw.

And to you ladies, who could've
abandoned me during my hour of need.

Okay, okay.
Less thanking, more drinking.

- Cheers.
- Hey!

- Hi!
- Congratulations, Bree.

I cannot tell you how relieved
I am that you weren't convicted.

Oh, that is so sweet.

Seriously,
do you have any idea how

living across from a m*rder*r
can affect housing prices?

Ah.

- Do you have a sec?
- What's up?

Have you told the girls
you're moving?

Um, not yet.

Well, I thought it'd be easier
after the trial,

but now
everybody's so happy.

- I just haven't found the right time.
- Well, you're gonna have to find one.

I got an offer
on your house.

Oh, hey,
you're out of ice.

- Oh, do you have any at your house?
- Ye...

- I think I've got a bag.
- I'll be right back.

What are you doing here?

You left so quickly, I-I didn't
get a chance to m...

I'm sorry,

a private party
for my neighbors and friends.

You're mad. I-I get that.

But...
Please let me explain.

There's nothing to explain.

You swore to me you wouldn't
put Gaby on the stand,

and then you did.
You lied to me.

To win this case...
For you.

And... and... and also for me.

Bree, there was no way I was
gonna let you go to jail.

Plus there's
this thing between us and...

Oh, please. You're just pretending
there's something between us

so you could get information
from me.

I-I wasn't trying to get...

Bree...

I probably shouldn't even
be here.

I had to tell you...

I'm so sorry.

Renee,

you I can forgive.

And, Ben, you're my hero.

Come on in.

And you are not welcome
in my home.

Can I talk to you?

They're kinda waiting for me at Bree's.

I'm in charge
of the ice, so...

Lynette!

Lynette, please.

Look...

At the end, before I left,

our problems looked

this big...

So I went away.

But now...

I realized they...
they only seem that way

because we were
so close up against them,

and... and... and they were
blocking me from seeing

how much I love you,

which is...

I see that now,

and I need
to tell you that...

Because you have to
say these things

while you still can.

Tom, my...

Ice is melting,

and I'm not exactly sure
what you're saying.

I'm saying...

That I know
you've moved on,

and I hope
that you'll be happy.

Because you, Lynette...

You will...

Always be
the love of my life.

That's all.

What do you mean
I've moved on?

Gregg told me
that you broke up with him

because you're in love
with someone else, so...

Yeah, I am.

You.

Me?

You.

You.

You.

You.