02x10 - S'mores, Elvis and a Cubano

[bunniefuu]

Previously on B Positive...

How is she?

She's gone.

So, this van girl?

- Hannah.
- Hannah.

Yeah.

What's the deal with Hannah?

I told you.

You know, we spent the night together,

and then she ripped me off.

Wow, that's crazy.

[CHUCKLES FORCEFULLY]

She cute?

Why do you care?

Well, why wouldn't I, you know?

- You're my friend.
- Interesting.

What's interesting?

Nothing's interesting.

You don't like the way I look?

No. Yeah.

Maybe it's too festive
for the Red Lobster.

Great, then you can go alone.

As you lie alone in bed
tonight, consider this,

I'm not wearing any panties.

[YAWNS SOFTLY]

Morning.

What are you doing?

Going on the road with you.

Get out of my bed.

Look at you. You're doing real good.

Yeah.

We're just gonna go out
to the pickleball court

and then loop back around to your room.

I don't think so.

Wait, what are you doing?
Where are you going?

I'm going to sit on my titanium ass.

Norma, the only way
your hip is gonna heal

is if you do a lot of walking.

I don't care if it heals.

Let me just sit here
and die a slow death.

Okay.

Hey, I am not gonna let you quit.

We are gonna get through this.

You always have such
a positive attitude.

- I'm doing my best.
- Yeah.

Well, it's starting to piss me off.

Hey, what are you doing?

Oh, just cutting the umbilical
cord, if you will.

Thanks for letting me mooch your juice.

That's van life talk for "electricity."

Where are you going?

The Florida Keys.

Oh, and FYI, Harry's coming with me.

What?

Yeah, he says he needs a break.

Too many memories here.

Ugh. Poor guy.

Well, at least he has memories.

Most of the jokers around
here can't remember yesterday.

I think the road will
be a nice distraction.

Plus, I wouldn't mind
getting to know the man.

We have a lot in common.

Name one thing.

We're both men of few words.

Laconic, one might say.

Taciturn. Introspective.

Hey, maybe Harry can be your wingman.

Help you pick you another van chick.

I'm referring to the
deceitful seductress Hannah.

It's interesting you
keep bringing her up.

- It's not interesting.
- Oh, it's interesting.

Hey, take care of Harry.

I will.

I'll text you from the road.

Pics, GIFs, the occasional emoji.

Just let me know if it gets annoying.

I can tell you now.

Bye.

- Bye, Norma.
- Yeah.

Be safe.

So, what's the deal with you two?

There's no deal.

[CHUCKLES] Interesting.

It's not interesting!

- ♪ The more you give ♪
- ♪ The more you give ♪

- ♪ The more you live ♪
- ♪ The more you live ♪

♪ Your happiness is relative ♪

♪ And if you're feeling like crap ♪

♪ It's time to face the fact ♪

♪ It's your prerogative

♪ Your prerogative ♪

♪ To be positive

♪ If we become ♪

♪ What we believe ♪

♪ Then as ye think ye shall receive ♪

♪ So just let go of the past ♪

♪ Pull your head from your ass ♪

♪ It's your prerogative ♪

♪ Your prerogative ♪

♪ To be positive ♪

Look at us. Out on the open road.

Seeing the beautiful sights

- of this great land of ours.
- Yeah.

That's a lovely Costco.

- All right, you need to take I- .
- Uh, no.

Actually, we're gonna
take the I- south

to the Florida Keys.

You know, I've always wanted
to see Hemingway's house

and eat an authentic Cubano.

BT dubs, that's a ham sandwich...

I know what it is.

With cheese and pickles.

Then we'll head up the Gulf Coast

and make our way west
to the Grand Tetons.

- I need to make a small detour.
- Sure. Where?

Wisconsin.

Wisconsin? That's, like,
a thousand miles that way.

I want to go that way.

I want to spread Meredith's ashes

at the spot we got engaged,

which is that way.

Okay. Right. Sorry, I-I didn't know.

Do you think we could head
that way after we hit the Keys?

No.

Come on, we're not on any schedule.

You know, we're
footloose and fancy-free.

I'm footloose, you're fancy-free.

"They're cops, but
they're also best friends."

[CHUCKLES]

Okay, Wisconsin, here we come.

That way.

Oysh.

- What's the matter?
- Let's just say

that everything I've eaten
for the last five days

is still in me.

That's the painkillers you're on.

So that's the choice I have?

To be in agony or to
be backed up like Elvis?

[PHONE VIBRATES]

[GASPS SOFTLY] Oh, boy.

- What?
- [GROANS]

It's my big sister. She's
in town and wants to see me.

- And that's bad?
- Yes,

it is. She's kind of a scam artist.

She only shows up when
she wants my money,

my dr*gs or my boyfriend.

Oh, we have the same sister.

[SIGHS] Couple of years ago,

I was dating a rich drug dealer,

so she hit the trifecta.

Does she know you're
a wealthy woman now?

You know, I may have
forgotten to mention that

to every member of my family.

So, how are you gonna handle this one?

I'll show you. [CLEARS THROAT]

"New phone. Who dis?"

Here's your laxative, Norma.

Oh, could you say it a little louder?

- I don't think everybody heard you.
- Sorry.

It's very powerful.
Drink it in your room.

- Okay, I get it.
- I'm serious.

In the bathroom.

So, I'm thinking our
next book club selection

will be Madame Bovary. There's sex.

There's su1c1de.

And good news for you:

it's very short.

Sounds like you got to
be a madame with bovaries

to enjoy it.

Here's your turkey bacon, Professor.

Ah, thank you, Bert.

It's not as good as pork,

but at least no animals were k*lled.

- Actually, it...
- Let it go.

Hey, while I got you here,

my dad's birthday's coming up.

Any suggestions?

Why are you asking us?

BERT: Not to be disrespectful,

but he's on the homestretch
like you guys.

How about one of them weighted blankets?

Nah. My mom's on the heavy side,

so he kind of already has one.

What about a nice robe?

He's got a robe. What he needs is a belt

so we don't see his nuts at dinner.

Well, bon appétit.

Something really bad
happened to him as a kid.

- May I join you?
- Please.

You look very pretty this morning.

Thank you.

S-Since I got you here, uh...

I was thinking maybe you and I could...

try going out to dinner sometime?

Again? To dinner?

Is he seriously asking me out again?

It would appear so.

How should I handle it?

PETER: Depends.

Are you a merciful woman?

Not generally.

You guys know I can hear you.

BETTE: Excuse me,

- I am talking to Peter.
- Give him a chance.

His brains are nowhere to be found,

but his heart is in the right place.

Thank you. I would like
to go for dinner with you.

Great. I was thinking Papa John's.

They put the cheese right in the crust.

It'll blow your freakin' mind.

This is where the mercy comes in.

Okay, remember the
plan. I just work here.

- I am not the boss.
- Right.

- I'm the boss.
- No, the boss is someone else.

- Who?
- It doesn't matter.

It matters to me.

- Natalie!
- Gina! [SCREAMS]

Oh, my God!

Oh, you look great!

You, too.

Welcome to Valley Hills.

This is my coworker Gabby.

[CHUCKLES]: Coworker?
Please, I'm your boss.

Nice to meet you.

- You, too.
- So, what brings you to town?

I am singing at a little club.

You should come and see me.

Uh, I'd love to.

You're working the night shift.

Can't you cover for me, Gabby?

[CHUCKLES]: You want your
boss to cover for you?

I do. I really do.

Come on, I'll show you around.

If you need me, I'll be in my office

smoking a bowl.

Ah. [CHUCKLES]

If you're thinking you
didn't hear a flush,

you would be correct.

You see, that's the number
one rule around here.

Get it? Number one? No flushing?

Pardon me.

Oh, forgot my book.

[BOTH GRUNT]

Guess I should've bought you
dinner first, huh? [CHUCKLES]

Uh, tomorrow...

there is

an authentic frontier
fort just off the highway.

We could stop,

maybe take a photo
dressed up as fur trappers.

Now, why would we do that, hmm?

Rhetorical question.
'Cause it's awesome.

- I don't think so.
- Come on.

We got to have some fun along the way.

And this is educational
fun, the best kind.

I need to get to Wisconsin.

Fine.

I need my phone.

Oh, how about that? I can feel yours.

Ooh, someone's texting you. [CHUCKLES]

And this is our day room,

where our residents
hang out and socialize.

Everyone seems so happy.

What do you got 'em on, lithium?

Just love.

And edibles.

Hi, Jerry.

Hi, um... Jennifer? Jenny.

- Gina.
- [CHUCKLES]: Oh, Gina.

Right. Sorry, I'm new here,

and I don't know the
names of all the orderlies.

- Disorderlies. [LAUGHING]
- [LAUGHING]

Oh, Jenny.

Oh, hey, Norma.

This is my sister Natalie.

Nice to meet you.

Gina, I don't want to embarrass you,

but you have to pay me back that $ .

I get paid a week from Friday.

You'll get your money.

I better.

All right, can I show you the game room?

[MOUTHS]

So, how long you gonna keep up this act?

Act? What do you mean?

Where you pretend

you didn't just inherit
millions of dollars.

Oh, can I explain?

- Go ahead.
- Uh...

I was trying to trick you.

All right, look, it was a tough day.

We bickered.

Some feelings were hurt. Mostly mine.

But I know

what'll make it all better.

It's time to break out
the s'mores kit, baby.

[CHUCKLES] Thank you, Williams Sonoma.

- Pass.
- What?

How can you turn down s'mores?

Because I'm not eight years old.

Oh, come on. Everybody loves s'mores.

They're so good, you
always want s'more. Huh?

No one ever says, "No, thanks,
I've had s'nough." [CHUCKLES]

I'm sorry. Did I hurt
your feelings again?

Yeah.

Look, I know we're on a mission,

but can't we have
a little fun along the way?

Wh-What does that mean?
We're gonna stop

at every lamebrain tourist trap?

Not all of 'em. Just some. Or one.

[SIGHS]

Why'd you even want to come with me?

I've asked myself the same question.

[SIGHS] Okay. I get it.

You're having a tough time.

But I honestly thought

this trip would help
take your mind off things.

If all you wanted to do

was get to Wisconsin
as fast as possible,

you should've flown.

I'm going to bed.

And there's nothing lamebrained

about the Orville Redenbacher Museum.

Guy was basically
the Steve Jobs of popcorn.

Hey.

What do you want?

I came to hear you sing.

- Really?
- Yeah.

Did you pay the
five-dollar cover charge,

or is that too much for
a minimum-wage orderly?

Natalie, come on.

I'm a hot girl. I don't pay covers.

Just so you know, I didn't come to town

to ask you for a handout.
I came because I have some news.

That you couldn't
tell me over the phone?

No.

Okay, go ahead.

I have to have surgery
on my vocal cords.

- Why?
- I have polyps.

Oh, Nat.

I'm so sorry.

When is the surgery?

As soon as I can save up the money.

And there it is.

There's what?
I didn't ask you for a penny.

You are telling me
that your singing career

- is dependent on my money.
- No.

My singing career is dependent
on this very expensive surgery

that my insurance won't cover.

Now, if you'll excuse me,

I have to get back to work.

You are so full of it.
There is no surgery.

There are no polyps.
This is just another scam

trying to get in my pocket.

Do you hear yourself?

Money has made you an awful person.

Hi, everybody.

Thanks for coming out tonight.

I'm Natalie Dabrowski,
and this is a song

by Minnie Riperton.

♪ Lovin' you ♪

♪ Is easy 'cause you're ♪

[CLEARS THROAT] ♪ Beautiful ♪

♪ Do, do, do, do, do, ooh ♪

[CLEARS THROAT, WHEEZES]

♪ La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. ♪

[PHONE RINGS]

Hello, Professor Dabrowski.

Senator Dunbar, how are you?

Good. Good. Greetings
from the Hoosier State.

Hoosier daddy? [CHUCKLES]

That's on a lot of T-shirts out here.

Don't get me one.

Too late.

Hey, how's it going with Harry?

Uh, we had a bit of a fight last night,

and now I'm getting
the silent treatment,

which, honestly, I'm grateful for.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

You just got to be patient with him.

- Hang on.
- What?

He, uh, he left me a note.

"Drew, you were right.
This was a bad idea.

"I'm taking a cab to the airport,

and I'll fly to Wisconsin.
Enjoy Florida."

He dumped me.

Did he rob you like that Hannah girl?

Very funny.

You know, it's interesting
you keep bringing her up.

It's not interesting.

Oh, it's very interesting.

And then when she sang,

I started thinking that
she was telling the truth.

[CHUCKLES]

So, what's the plan?

[SIGHS] I guess I give her
the money for the operation.

Well, that would be the
Christian thing to do.

- You think?
- I don't know. It's what I've heard.

Gina, in ten or years,

how important is that money gonna be?

Not at all.

I just don't want to feel like
I'm being taken advantage of.

Oh, sweetie, that's
what families are for.

I had a lovely evening.

But for future reference, I'm not a fan

of the napkin tucked into the collar.

I didn't want to get
marinara all over my tie.

It's a Christmas
present from my grandson.

I'm not a fan.

Got it.

Well,

thank you.

You bet.

Jiminy Christmas.

Something wrong?

No. No, "Jiminy Christmas" is good.

It's real good.

Well, you can come in if you want.

Yeah? Uh, all right.

I think maybe I...

I should pro... I...
Probably I should...

I-I think maybe I'm... I-I got to go.

Great. I waxed for nothing.

[SIGHS] Hey. It's me again.

Really?

You came back to see
me embarrass myself?

I came back to give you this.

I think that should cover the surgery.

I don't know what to say.

You don't have to say anything.

You're my sister. I love you.

I want you to be happy and healthy.

Thank you.

Yeah.

[GASPS]

Do you want to sing one with me?

No, I'll just listen.

Come on. We'll do your favorite,
like when we were kids.

♪ Ain't no mountain high enough ♪

♪ Ain't no valley low enough ♪

♪ Ain't no river wide enough ♪

♪ To keep me away from you now ♪

♪ Ain't no mountain high enough ♪

♪ Ain't no valley low enough ♪

♪ Ain't no river wide
enough to keep me from you ♪

What happened to the polyps?

It's a miracle.

♪ Ain't no mountain high enough ♪

♪ Ain't no valley low ♪

♪ Ain't no river wide enough. ♪

Mind some company?

What the hell?

You make a wrong turn
heading to the Keys?

I didn't want you to
have to do this alone.

Thank you.

So, this is the spot where
you popped the question.

Yep.

- It's pretty.
- Yeah.

I knew I wanted to marry
Meredith on our first date.

Took me a year

before I work up the courage to ask her.

And another two months to
get her father's permission.

He didn't approve?

No. No, he...

He thought she could
do a lot better than me.

And he was right.

Spent the rest of my life
trying to deserve her.

Well...

[GRUNTS]

[SNIFFLES, GRUNTS]

[CLEARS THROAT]

Goodbye, my beautiful girl.

[VOICE BREAKS]: I love you.

Thanks again for coming.

All right.

I'm ready to go.

I'm also ready for you to
take your hand off my shoulder.

Right. Sorry. [CHUCKLES]

You know, we're not far
from a Bavarian village

with a giant glockenspiel clock.

Maybe we can go tomorrow.

- Don't toy with me.
- No, I-I'm-I'm serious.

[BAVARIAN ACCENT]: Oh, Papa,
that would be wunderbar.