01x07 - Phantom Limb

[bunniefuu]

GIDEON:
Drew? You okay?

Talk to Gideon.

Oh, thank God.

[all exhaling]

What happened?

You fainted. You scared
the hell out of these guys.

Oh, like you weren't scared?

I was only scared that I haven't
been nice enough to Gina

to get her kidney in case
this one doesn't make it.

I'm here for you, too.

It's just that Gideon
just hasn't unhooked me yet.

Because Gideon's busy.

Just sit still
for a few minutes.

Your blood pressure's
pretty low.

[exhales] This happened to me
yesterday, too.

Oh, then you need to get
to your doctor immediately.

Oh, no, I can't.
I got a lot of clients.

No.
You need to get your skinny,

low-blood-pressure-having ass
there now.

Come here.What are you doing?

You can't drive.
I'll take you.

Whoa...
Hey, excuse me. Hey...

Put me down.
I'm not a child.

You're lighter than one.Well, I skipped breakfast.

Aw, don't worry, I got you.

[laughs]
Hey, Drew. Look up.

The Internet wants to see
the fear in your eyes.

Ladies and gentlemen,
for the first time,

Mr. and Mrs. Eli Russell.

And I'm all achy.

And I get
these cramps sometimes.

[hisses]

You've been in
dialysis how long now?

Uh, couple months.

[hisses]

C-Could you not

suck in air like that?

It's making me very anxious.

So you're also
suffering from anxiety.

Only from this.
[hissing]

I-I just want to know
why I passed out.

Other than low blood pressure,
there are lots of factors.

What's your diet like?
Are you getting any exercise?

I bought an exercise bike.

Okay, and, uh, how
often do you use it?

Oh, it's still in the box,

but it was quite the workout

dragging it into the garage.

Uh-huh. And, uh, have you
made any changes to your diet?

[hisses]

Drew, you are in renal failure.
You have to take that seriously.

I am.

It's all I think about.

You got to look
at yourself

like an athlete
who's in training

for his transplant.

You got to eat
the right foods,

you got to exercise,

avoid stress.[scoffs]

My kidneys are failing.
I'm going through a divorce,

I have a daughter
who I'm not even sure likes me

and a donor who might not
show up to the surgery.

Show me the door that doesn't
have stress behind it.

I know it's not easy.

But I'm not being harsh
when I say

if you don't make some
major lifestyle changes,

you might not
make it to the transplant.

That's the not-harsh version?

[hisses]

♪ The more you give ♪ The more you give♪

♪ The more you live ♪ The more you live♪

♪ Your happiness is relative ♪ Happiness♪

♪ But if you're feeling
like crap ♪

♪ It's time to face the fact

♪ It's your prerogative

♪ Your prerogative♪

♪ To be positive.

Hey.Hey.

Hmm. Chickpea pasta?

That's not...

I've never even...

Why?

Well, I just saw my doctor,
and he thought...

Oh, which one? The air sucker
or the guy that goes, "Oh, boy"?

Air sucker.

Yeah, he thought

I should be on a
healthy kidney diet.

What does that mean?

Well, no dairy, no red meat,

no salt, no potatoes, no sugar.
I call it

the "stay away from everything
that tastes good diet."

Well, at least we can still
eat my favorite vegetable,

caramel corn.

No, actually,
that's the junk food pile.

I'm throwing all that away.

Oh. Okay, cool.

Well, I'll just
keep this and this

and this and all of this.

Yeah, you know what?

Just because I'm doing this
doesn't mean you have to.

Have at it.

Hey, we're in this together.

You eat healthy, I eat healthy.

Thank you.

Right after this.

So, how serious is this?

Well, the doctor says I might
not even make it to the surgery

if I don't start eating better
and exercising.

You mean, like,
make it make it?

Oh, okay,

we are not gonna
talk about that.

I did not give up ecstasy
to watch you die.

Much appreciated.

Oh, and I can be
your personal trainer.

Are you a personal trainer?

Uh, how hard can it be?

Yeah!

That's all you got?!

Come on, give me more!

Just do it!
Boom!

That'll be a hundred bucks.

I remember now why I never
had a personal trainer.

Hey, uh, maybe you can help me
unpack the exercise bike.

No problem. But you still
owe me a hundred bucks.

[door closes]MADDIE: Dad!

In the kitchen.

So, how'd it go? You win?

Kicked their butts.

Yes.
That's my girl.

Way to go, Mads.

You step on some feet

when the ref wasn't looking?

Yeah, thanks for the tip.

Sorry I keep missing
these games, kiddo.

That's okay.
I understand.

But you know what I won't miss?

What?

You going to nationals.

You can come?

But it's in Ohio.

Well, I'll just find
a dialysis place in Columbus.

That's great.
Thank you.

Yeah.
Hey, look-- Proud Girl Dad.

Hashtag.
[chuckles]

Oh, my God.

I'll talk to him.

Thank you.

"Hashtag" goes on the end,
right?

Is that true-- you can
go to any city and get dialysis?

I have no idea.

I was just lying to my daughter
to make her feel better.

You are such a good dad.

[panting] Oh, God.
How long's it been?

Three minutes.

What?
Okay, what's my target time?

30 minutes.

No, no, that can't be right.

You're weak, Dunbar!

Suck it up, buttercup!

That's my personal
training voice.

[phone ringing]

Oh, can you check that for me?Yeah.

Uh, it says "Columbus
dialysis center."

Ooh, I've been waiting
for them. Hang on.

Wh... Oh.

[grunts] My left foot's stu...
stuck in the back.

Okay, I'll get it.

No, do not...[deep voice]: Uh, yes.

Drew Dunbar speaking.

Hey, just put it on speaker.

That's literally
why they invented speaker.

Yes, I need to be in Columbus
on Tuesday,

so you need to find me time

for a dialysis treatment,

and I am not a morning person.

Gina, give me the...I don't care.

Bounce one of your old,
weak patients

who aren't gonna make it anyway.

Oh, please, you know which ones
are gonna kick the bucket.

Hey. Hey, hey, hey.
Give me the phone.

That's right.
Drew Dunbar.

Make it happen.

Okay? Great.

You've got my digits.

You got me in?

[regular pitch]:
No, not even close.

[knocking on door]

I got it.

Hey.Oh. I thought
you were the UPS guy.

You sound disappointed.

No, just, my wine-of-the-month
club's out for delivery.

Not that I tracked it.

Or ran to the door.

Okay, well, they don't leave it

if you don't sign for it, so...

Come in.

Oh, um,

by the way,
I didn't tell her anything.

Thank you.Mm-hmm.

Hey, you.

Hey.

What are you doing here?

Well, I got you a
little something.

An iPad? What for?

To congratulate you.

Why? My-my grades suck.

Yes, they do.

But this is because you
made it to Nationals.

Awesome! Thank you.

My first endorsement.

[chuckles]
Yes.

Uh... also, I-I can't
make it to the game.

Really?

Yeah. I called
every dialysis place

within three hours of Columbus.

Oh.

I'm sorry, Maddie.

That sucks, but I get it.

Hey, look, maybe, uh, maybe
your mom can record the game

and I can watch it afterwards.

Yeah. Absolutely, sweetie.
I'd be happy to do that.

Also, I only tracked it
because it's rosé month.

Can I get a hug?

You're not gonna cry, are you?

Oh, come on.
Me?

Oh, boy.

Keep it together, Dunbar.

[doorbell rings]

Yes!

Well, Mama needs
her happy juice.

Hey, you're up late.

Oh, and don't worry if my breath
smells like whiskey.

I wasn't drinking,
I took an UberPool home

and made out with a drunk guy.

Cool story.

Hey, Cannoli.

We're wearing matching coats.

Okay, I need my spot.

Um, what are you doing?

Didn't the doctor say
that stuff would k*ll you?

Hasn't yet.

What is the matter with you?

I know you're upset
about Maddie's game,

but you got to
take this seriously.

Stick to the plan.

Mm. Right now, the plan
is to finish this bag

of caramel corn
and then blow up Grubhub.

What about diet,
exercise and living right?

I'm really not in the mood
for a lecture.

Really?

'Cause all you do is lecture me

about taking care
of your precious kidney.

Gina, you gave up partying.

I can't pee,
I can't sleep,

I spend 15 hours
a week in dialysis.

And now a bag of caramel corn
is gonna k*ll me.

Well, tonight,
let's risk it, huh?

Would you stop it?

You really think
all I gave up was partying?

Oh, sorry.
Also vaping.

Oh, you are such
a selfish jerk.

How am I being selfish?

I am giving up precious moments
with my family

that I will never get back.

Join the club!

My sister doesn't even
talk to me anymore

because of you.What?

She's been ghosting me
ever since I told her

that I'm giving you my kidney.

Okay?
But you don't know that,

because it's always
the Drew Show around here.

Well, maybe that's because
Drew is the one that's dying.

You need to stop using death
to win an argument.

[scoffs]

And I quit as your fake trainer.

All done. Take a look.Mm. Oh, well,

hello, 70.

What's the occasion, anyway?

I'm FaceTiming
with an old friend.

I'm his rebound
every time he outlives a wife.

Honey, give me my purse,
I want to tip you,

and don't say no.

I haven't said no
since I was 17.

Hello.

How did you get past the desk?

There's no one at the desk.

Oh, sh**t.
That's me.

You got a lot of guts
showing your face here.

Hello to you, too.

Don't ask, she's not here.

[sighs]
Okay.

What the hell
did you say to her?

We had a little disagreement

as to who's sacrificing more.She is.

No, I mean, when it comes
to the kidneyShe is.

What... No, my daughter
has a soccer game...

Yeah, she is.
We can do this all day.

Listen,

I know your kidney's
crapping out on you,

but you don't have
a choice.

Gina signed up for this out
of the goodness of her heart.

This girl is special.

I know.

Well, do you know
where she's at?

She's at her friend Paul's.

Oh, that skeezy guy?

If by "skeezy,"
you mean "super hot," yes.

No, I mean "skeezy."

Look, do you-do you happen
to have the address?

You know what Gina would like
even better than an apology?

Sending her and her bestie
on a trip to Turks and Caicos.

Oh, Gina and I would love that.

I meant Gina and me.

Oh, well,
we'll see who she takes.

I'd drop it if I were you.

She can do this all day.

Paulie, you down there?

Go away, Ma!

I got company.

There's a guy wants to see you.

Hey, I'm looking for Gina.

Tell him I'm not here.

Gina says she's not here.

I-I'm-I'm just looking to talk.

And, uh, your mom wanted you
to put a load of colors in.

[groans]
It never ends.

Gina?

Are you high?

I'm high and drunk.

Come on, are you kidding me?

Yeah, well, I'm doing great.

I'm smoking pot and drinking
with a 35-year-old

who lives in his mom's basement.

Hey, I'm 33.

Uh... look,
it doesn't matter, I...

I came over here to say that

I know

you're going through
a lot for me.

And I was a real jerk
not to acknowledge it.

You were.

But this isn't about you.

All right. What's going on?

I called my sister today.

Guessing it didn't go well?

She's a malevolent shrew.

Thanks, sweetie.

Instead of talking it out,
she went through her usual list

of everything that's wrong
with me-- I'm self-destructive,

I make rash decisions,

I never take responsibility
for anything.

Well, that's not
entirely untrue.

Yeah, I know!

You and I get in an argument--
what do I do?

I come here.
That was rash.

Then what do I do?
I party.

That was
self-destructive.

Then I sleep with Paul.

Well, that was amazing.

But... then she said...

...the only reason that I'm
giving my kidney to a stranger

is to give my empty life
some meaning.

Whoa, she said that?

Gina,

I'm sorry.
Look, that is not true.

And you should know that...Wait.

I can see your lips moving,

but I cannot hear you talking.

Uh... [laughs]

Why don't we table this
for later?

Stop.

I am too high
to ride my motorcycle.

I need you to take me home.

Unless we are already home.

In which case,

thanks.

Sure, uh, come on.

Bye, Paul.Bye, Paul.

Bye, Gina.

Bye, Gina's Dad.

[scoffs]

You awake?

[line ringing]

Hey, it's Carla,
leave a message.

[beeps]

Carla.

Hello.

My name is Drew Dunbar.
I'm the guy that

your sister is giving
her kidney to.

I hear that you're
not too happy about that.

And I just want to say that

it is totally normal
to be suspicious

of this little arrangement.

Um, but you should know

that Gina's actions
are a lot more thought out

than you think.

In fact...

...you should be proud of her.

She's saving my life.

Because of her I'm gonna be
able to watch my daughter...

[beeps]

[line ringing]

Hey, it's Carla,
leave a message.

[beeps]Walk down the aisle.

And, yes,

Gina can be impulsive, but

that's because
she leads with her heart.

And maybe if you started
accepting her

instead of judging her
and shaming her,

you would realize
that she's a frigging angel.

In fact,

you should be thanking God every
day for having her in your life,

because this stupid little world

would be a whole lot better

if there were a lot more people
like her and a lot less...

[beeps]

[line ringing]

Hey, it's Carla,
leave a message.

Malevolent shrews like you!

Good morning.

Hey.

Do you want a kale
and broccoli smoothie?

It's got yeast probiotic.

That's not...

I've never even...

Why?

Trying to be healthy.
Give me a break.

So, uh...

guess who called me.

My sister.

Oh, that's interesting.

You two patch things up?

Oh, no.

She said my crazy kidney guy
left her

a snarky-ass message
about how great I am

that really got
under her skin.

I've never heard her
so pissed off.

I was trying to bring you
closer together,

but I think
I got a little carried away.

Are you kidding?
It was awesome.

Drew Dunbar, you are my hero.

Well... well,
I don't know about hero.

Maybe "knight in shining armor."

I wouldn't say no to "messiah."

I'm just really grateful.

I've never had someone
fight for me.

Hey, I'm glad.

And sorry, again,
about the other night.

I was in a dark place
and I took it out on you.

I'm sorry, too.
I should have talked to you

instead of going out
and partying with Paul.

Let's just say
we both had a cheat day.

[gulps, grunts]

Ooh, hey,

I got you a
hangover cure.

Bacon, egg and cheese?

Oh, my God, thank you.

[sniffs]
Mmm.

Hey, um, if you do feel

like your decision
to give me your kidney

is coming from an
unhealthy place,

I want you to know
you don't have to do it.

Are you kidding?
My sister is wrong.

About what?

I'm not making
a reckless decision.

I am giving my kidney to exactly

who it's supposed to go to.

Thank you.

Oh, boy.

Keep it together, Dunbar.