01x09 - B Negative

[bunniefuu]

Did I ever tell you
about my high school crush?

Donna Johnson--
she dumped you at the prom.

After you caught her making out
with Scott Sanderson.

And years later, he came to you
with an impacted molar.

And you "ran out" of Novocaine.

You could've just said yes.

But did I ever tell you what I
told him after the surgery?

"I bet you wish you had
Donna Johnson's tongue

in your mouth to make
your tooth feel better."

Okay, I guess I did.

Hello?

Yes, this is he.

Sure, patient I.D. number

47324.

Are you serious?

Of course I can, yes.

No, thank you!

I'm getting my kidney.

What?
No way!

Son of a bitch!

Sor-- I'm sorry.

So sorry.
I'm so happy for you,

you son of a bitch.

So the donor list
really came through?

Yeah, it's happening tomorrow.

I'm getting a kidney.

I'm getting a kidney.
Me, a kidney.

It just happened
and you've already

told the story
three times.

What I think Samantha
means to say is

that we're all really happy
for you, Jerry.

I've never actually seen
someone get the call.

It's...

I might actually tear up.

Hold it together,
Gideon, you can...

Oh.

It passed.

♪ The more you give ♪ The more you give♪

♪ The more you live ♪ The more you live♪

♪ Your happiness is relative ♪ Happiness♪

♪ But if you're feeling
like crap ♪

♪ It's time to face the fact

♪ It's your prerogative

♪ Your prerogative♪

♪ To be positive.

Congratulations, Jerry, this
kidney couldn't have happened

to a more
deserving person.

Young ambitious woman with
her whole life ahead of her?

But, yeah, sure, okay.

I'd also like to take a moment

to honor the man
whose untimely death

led me to getting this kidney.

And thank him for checking
that box on his license.

And thank him for having
his license suspended,

so he had to bike to work
next to a canyon.

I can't believe I'm gonna be
able to go anywhere I want,

eat and drink whatever I want,

and actually make plans
for the future.

Hmm, such as?

One word.
Tinder.

Ooh, when you're ready
to take your profile pic,

I know a guy with a tiger.

Wait, is his name Randall?

Yeah, I used to date him.

So did I.

As soon as I get my kidney,
I'm gonna cash in

on my fame and start
a whole new career.

Salad dressing.

Eli Russell's
Creamy Vinaigrette.

Turn your salad bowl
into a Super Bowl.

Wow.

I am not in.

When I get out of dialysis,
I'm gonna use all

that extra time to undermine
my colleagues and make partner.

Wouldn't you rather
just enjoy life?

Uh... I-I believe
that's what I said.

Drew, what are you gonna do?

Uh, well, I've always wanted
to take my daughter

on her dream trip to Iceland.

Mm.
It'd be amazing.

I didn't know
you wanted to do that.

Yeah, well, I just figured

if I said it out loud,
I would jinx it.

Mm-hmm.
So...

-consider it jinxed.
-Oh, please.

If you want something,
put it out in the universe.

It's science.

You really should be thinking
about what's next.

You and Gina.

You know, your surgery's gonna
be here before you know it.

Yeah, maybe
you're right.

Maybe I should start planning
for after the transplant.

I'll tell you what. When
this is done, I will go home

and I will apply for
-my TSA pre-check.
-Ooh.

Your kidney is completely
wasted on him.

You do know that, right?

You guys are so lucky.

You have this big
life-changing event,

and it's like you get a do-over.
You can do anything.

Well, you're giving
Drew your kidney.

That's a life-changing event.

You're allowed
a new chapter, too.

Reach for the stars.

You know, I am getting tired

of driving around old people
in a van.

Oh, crap. I left them waiting
outside in the van.

Welcome to our first
pie-baking class.

And just so you know,

the joint-rolling class
is still awaiting approval.

Mr. Knudsen, I didn't know
you liked to cook.

Well, it shows the ladies
I have a sensitive side.

Okay, first,

you're gonna pour
the blueberries

into your mixing bowl,

along with your sugar

and your cornstarch.

Then you're gonna add
your lemon juice

and a scootch of cinnamon.

A scootch? What the hell
is a scootch?

It's a smidge
plus a pinch.

Now, why don't you show the
ladies you have a quiet side?

And mix it all together

while your partner
rolls out the pie crust.

Okay, so back
to last night.

Oh, right. Okay.

So Drew kept talking

about what he's gonna do
after his transplant.

And it got me thinking,

what am I gonna do after
the kidney transplant?

That's easy. We'll drink until
you need a liver transplant.

Once you save a guy's life,

you kind of want to do
more with your own.

What more do
you have to do?

You're doing
very important work here.

Oh, I love the people here,
but this is the kind of job

you get after you're fired
from a car wash.

I wasn't fired.
It was mutual.

I just feel like
I have more to offer.

I've been waiting for something
amazing to happen to me,

and maybe I need to stop waiting
and do it myself.

Well, I'm sorry you think we're
holding you back. Look at this.

We're keeping her
from being an astronaut.

They don't let ladies
be astronauts.

Well, maybe not
an astronaut, but

I'd love to see the world. Maybe
there's something with that.

Ooh, you could be
a travel writer.

Yeah. Oh, I'd get paid to
travel to foreign countries,

and I wouldn't even have
to swallow a balloon

filled with anything.

Seriously?

We're going to Iceland?!
That's, like, my dream.

I know.

Northern lights,
-Blue Lagoon.
-And...

their national dish
is rotted shark meat.

Yes, it is.

And hopefully,
we can find a place

that serves it that's
near a McDonald's.

So, how are we doing this?

You know, with your kidney?

Well, we can't
go just yet,

but we can still
plan for it.

We can even put
a deposit down.

This is weirdly
spontaneous for you.

Did your doctor
give you new dr*gs?

No, honey. I'm just excited.

I mean, Game of Thrones
was filmed there.

We can pretend
we're White Walkers.

Winter is coming.
King of the north!

I got to go call Charlotte.

Her parents are
taking her to Hawaii.

Lame.

Yeah. Come on, Charlotte.
Hawaii? Please.

-Hey.
-Hey.

You got a second? I need
some help with my résumé.

Did you get fired because you
left those seniors in the van?

No. Half of them
didn't remember,

and the rest thought we were
stopped at a very long light.

I'm just getting this ready

for when I start my new journey.

Oh, you're really taking
this thing seriously.

Yeah, I don't know what

I want to do
after the transplant,

but I want
to hit the ground running,

so would you mind taking a look?

Yeah, sure.

Seven years
of pharmaceutical sales?

Selling weed.

And I see you've also been
a mechanical engineer?

That beer distiller
in your garage was made

from a bunch of stuff
I found around your house,

so I totally MacGyver'ed
that bitch.

Well,

I got to say, I'm impressed.

Not with this clearly
fabricated résumé,

but the fact that you
are thinking about this.

I mean,

the Gina I met six months ago
was selling fake IDs to kids.

No, I was...

"mentoring troubled youths on
their transition to adulthood."

Yeah?

Carol Schurmer made
the best blueberry pie.

I told her that she couldn't
eat it because she has diabetes.

Carol Schurmer has diabetes?

No, but she is very trusting.

Nice. I have a little something
for you.

Ooh.
Yeah, if you want
to chase your dreams,

I think it behooves me to write
you a letter of recommendation.

Thank you.
That is so sweet.

Perhaps I should
read it to you,

make sure it sounds all right?

I would love to,
but I have to go...

"To whom it may concern..."Okay, I've got a minute.

"Gina Dabrowski

"is a wonderful young woman

who would be an asset
to your organization."

-Aw.
-You're interrupting my flow.

"Over the past two years
at Valley Hills Assisted Living,

"I've come to think of us
as mother and daughter.

"Which has been
a godsend because

"my own daughter never visits.

"Apparently, being a dog mom
takes up too much of her time.

"As you get older
and your world gets smaller,

"it's wonderful to know there
are people you can count on.

"But I guess even

"those people move on someday,
because they want a better job.

And you didn't really mean as
much to them as you thought."

Really?"But I suppose

"a bigger paycheck is more
valuable than cherished moments

with a person you thought you
had a deep connection with."

I'm starting to think
this letter is not real.

"But who am I to judge?

"Just the lonely old woman
she's leaving behind

to die alone in her loneliness."

Okay, Norma, I get the gist.

The next part's hard to read

because of the tear stains.

-Drew?
-Hey.

The other guy's
not here yet?

Oh, okay. Well, uh,
the nurses asked me

to bring in
these flowers.

They're from your ex-wife.

Yeah, I'm allergic,

and she knows it.

So,

did it happen?
Is it over?

Yeah, sure is. Even got
the scar to prove it.

Now you get to tell
all those Tinder dates

that you got slashed by the
tiger in your profile picture.

I like that.

I also like this morphine.

Thanks for being here.

I really appreciate
what you guys have done.

Of course.

We got to support each other.

We're all in
the same boat.

Yeah, I got to say, before this,

I was afraid to even think
about the future,

but now I'm excited
for what comes next.

You've inspired me, Jerry.

Thank you.

Boy, you are really going
to town on that morphine button.

Daddy like.

Mr. Platt, good,
you're awake.

H-How'd it go?

Are you family?

No, no, I can wait outside.

Uh, stay.

Uh, you can talk
in front of him.

The surgery went fine,

but your latest creatinine
levels are trending up.

What? They're supposed
to go down after the surgery.

I'm sure it's nothing.

Yes, they're supposed
to go down.

We're looking into it.

I'm ordering
a stat renal ultrasound.

The nurse will be
right in to prep you.

Oh, God.

Don't worry,

it's going to be okay.

Yeah.

I-19!

Best you've ever seen!

Bingo!

Uh, that was the
first number, Mr. Knudsen.

I'm just trying to get
into people's heads.

-You know I'm upset with you.
-Me?

Yeah, what you did to me
was really crappy.

-What did I do?
-You know what you did.

B-7!

On your way to heaven.

Sorry, probably a little close
to home there.

You wrote that letter
to make me feel guilty.

Guilty?

It took me all day long
to write that letter,

and with my arthritis.

I'm trying to better myself
and give my life some meaning.

You really think I want to spend
the rest of my life here?

I am.

Oh, great, more guilt.

You are unbelievable.

G-55!

Better hope you're still alive.

See, I made it better.

You know what?

You say that you love me,

but why would you try
to hold me back?

I'm sorry, I didn't know
that caring for you

was holding you back.

Ugh, if you guilt-trip
your daughter like this,

I'm not surprised
she never visits.

I don't have to sit
here and take this.

N-44!

Norma's walking
out the door.

And that's why you get
into their heads early.

Where's Jerry?

Why won't they tell us anything?

Do you always crunch
that loudly,

or just when you're trying
to wake up coma patents?

I'm sorry, I'm stress-eating.

I just can't be
my usual chill self right now.

Yes, Samantha, I would totally
describe you as "chill."

You know what, Drew?

Keep talking, you'll be glad
we're already in a hospital.

I'm sorry.

I'm just on edge.

I know.

Me, too.

What?

I bought Jerry some scratchers
for after the surgery.

I'll let him scratch the rest.

Yes, two bucks.

What's the,
what's the word?

Not good.

Jerry's going to be okay,

but his body rejected
the kidney.

What?
Oh, God.

Well, hang on,
can't they give him

some medication or something?

It was an acute rejection.

The donor kidney isn't viable.

I can't believe it.

Man, he waited for seven years.

They can't fix this?

There's nothing
they can do.

He has to go back on dialysis

and back on the donor list.

Son of a bitch.

The guy got his hopes up,
thought he got his life back,

and now it's just taken away
from him?

I don't know
how you deal with that.

He wanted me to take him
to the bar after the surgery

to help him find
some "fly honeys."

I'm gonna go to the chapel.

Someone needs
to answer for this.

Sorry.

"To whom it may
concern, Gina Dabrowski

"is a wonderful
young woman

who would be an asset
to your organization."

Yeah, I've heard this one
before.

Just wait.

"Time and time again,

"she's demonstrated patience
with old people like me

"who are afraid
of change

"and not always
their best selves

"when it comes
to people moving on.

"But Gina deserves

"to move on
because this amazing woman

is going to make the world
a better place..."

Norma.

You really insist
on ruining my flow.

"...just like she's made me
a better person.

"So...

"you should hire her, but make
sure she has Saturdays off

so she can come visit me."

Thank you.

I love you, kiddo.

I love you, too.

You really are like
a grandmother to me.

Oh, I said "mother," but okay.

So sorry, Jerry.

You deserve so much better.

Don't give up, man,
you're still in the game.

Plus, they give you morphine.

I feel like such a failure.

I wasted a perfectly good
dead man's kidney.

There he is! Whoo!

New kidney boy. Hey!
Hey! New kidney!

-New kidney!
-Uh, Gina, can I talk
to you a second?

-Ah-ah, new kidney! Yeah?
-Real quick.

Hey, his body rejected
the kidney.

Oh, my God. Why didn't you
text me?
I did!

I didn't get it!

So... you've been on
quite the roller coaster.

I'm so sorry, Jerry.

This probably doesn't help,
but you got, like,

36 bucks' worth
of winners in here.

You scratched all of 'em?

We were in the waiting room
for two hours.

Don't give 'em to me,
I'm not worth it.

Jerry, stop.

Come on.

Yes, the kidney
was rejected.

Yes, it is a
terrible setback.

But it's how you deal
with setbacks

that define you as a person.

So you're gonna get

back on dialysis.

You're gonna get back
on the waiting list.

You're gonna meet fly honeys.

Yes. The flyest of honeys.

And, Jerry, you're not
gonna be alone,

because you are stuck
with each and every one of us.

And if you are ever

lonely or happy or worried,

we are gonna be here
to help you be

the strong and resilient man
we know that you are.

Thank you.

I really appreciate you guys.

You've seen me
on the best day

and the worst day of my life.

I've been there before.

I was on this cruise

and I saw this couple
get married,

and then, later, the guy
threw the wife overboard.

It's probably

a story for a different day.

Drew, you were
really inspiring.

Not only did you uplift Jerry's
spirits, but I kind of ..., come on.

Do you really think
-I meant any of that?
-What?

I was just trying
to make the guy feel better

because he's right back
to where he started.

He's probably gonna spend
the rest of his short life

in that dialysis chair.

Whoa, that is grim.

Yeah, well, I guess that's
-just who I am, Gina.
-Don't get mad at me.

I'm not.
I'm mad at me

for letting myself hope.

Because I should know better.

You can make all these plans,
and in the end,

some acute rejection comes along
and you're done.

That's not gonna happen to you,
Drew, you've got a donor.

So did Jerry.

You know what...
I'm gonna take the stairs.

Well, hang in there, Jerry.
We love you, brother.

How come men can only say
"I love you"

to each other
if they add "brother"?

The same reason
they can't hug without

the little handshake
in the middle.

-How's he doing?
-He's good.

Set up a Tinder profile
and already met a fly honey.

Really? Good for him.

Yeah. Unfortunately,
I'm the fly honey.

I made a fake account
to help build his confidence.

What could go wrong?

Hey, where's Drew?
He's never this late.

Two empty chairs in one session.

Gideon cannot have that.

Ooh, Drew's in trouble.

-Hello?
-Oh, you are alive.

Why is your butt not
in this dialysis chair?

-I'm not coming in today.
-What are you talking about?

You haven't had treatment
since Wednesday.

You've built up
way too many toxins.

Yeah, I'll take my chances.

Attention, Delta passengers.

Flight 2317 to Miami...

Drew, are you at the airport?

I have to go.

I got some snacks
for the flight.

You are going
to love Iceland.