01x13 - Inflammatory Response

[bunniefuu]

Come in.

Hey, the movie's
about to star...

Whoa! It's, like,

a thousand degrees in here.

It feels like when me
and my friends hotboxed a sauna.

You young people make dr*gs
so complicated.

Just light up a blunt,
sit back, enjoy the ride.

Norma, is that a space heater?

You're not supposed
to have that.

I'm also not supposed
to freeze to death.

I bought it at a thrift store
for four bucks.

It only shocks you
when you plug it in.

Why don't you just turn up
the thermostat?

Management disabled them.

Apparently we're not able
to take care of ourselves.

I wish they would start
treating us like adults.

Have a little faith.

♪ The more you give ♪ The more you give♪

♪ The more you live ♪ The more you live♪

♪ Your happiness is relative ♪ Happiness♪

♪ But if you're feeling
like crap ♪

♪ It's time to face the fact

♪ It's your prerogative

♪ Your prerogative♪

♪ To be positive.

Okay, you're all set.

Robot Drew.

Powering up.

I can pinch this tube

and it's domo arigato,
Mr. Roboto.

It's all right,
I'm just joshing.

Oh, you mean
you're not really a robot?

Hey, what you
doing tonight?

Well, I was planning on reading
over the terms and conditions

after the new iPhone update,
but I could be swayed.

I've been invited
to this cigar lounge opening.

And they gave me a plus-one.

-Seriously?
-Mm-hmm.

Drew Dunbar, plus-one.

It does have a nice ring to it.

Keep it on the D.L. I don't
want to hurt anybody's feelings.

Oh.

Information encrypted.

And keep Robot Drew's ass
at home.

I promise,
with my brains and your brawn,

we could totally win
The Amazing Race.

Jerry, I love you,
but I would strangle you

before we were
out of the first country.

What's going on?

What?
Me? Nothing.

Nothing, nothing

at all,
everything here is

totally normal,
just hanging out.

Dunbar,
are you hiding something?

Because I will get it
out of you.

Hey, Sam, you met Robot Drew?
Power up.

I'm gonna ask you
a few questions and I will know

if you're lying. Question one...

Eli invited me
to a cigar lounge tonight.

Dinner's at 6:00.

Gina says you guys
eat late around here.

Norma.

Hello.

Why?

She accidentally
set her room on fire.

But don't worry.

No one was hurt and most

of the residents thought
it was s'mores night.

I see.

A word please?

What do you
want from me?

Her daughter is useless
and she had nowhere to go.

So you brought home an arsonist,

and put her in front
of an open flame?

I couldn't drop her off
at the fire station.

They're pretty mad at her
right now.

Well, she can't stay here.
There's no room.

You know where else
they didn't have room, Drew?

All the inns in Bethlehem.

Okay, fine.

But this is it.
You've brought home cats, dogs

and now a senior citizen--
no more!

I'll get it!

It's probably my Amazon package.

You're getting
deliveries here?

Terrific.

Oh, well.

It's not what I ordered,
but I'll keep it.

Hey, guys.

Uh, Norma, this is
my friend Eli.

We are in dialysis
together.

Oh, you need a new kidney, too?

Yeah.
Geez.

The life expectancy around here

is worse than the home.

Hey, are you guys going out?

Yes, VIP cigar lounge opening.

Just two cool guys
out on the town.

Lock up your wives, am I right?

Oh, no.

I don't really mean
"lock them up."

That's just me doing a character
from another time.

How come you're not dressed?

I am.

Not.

Be right back.

Hey, I got to say...

you clean up nice.

Oh, this is nothing.

No, no, come on.
Do a little spin.

Hey, hey.

Yes, okay.

Eli Russell, I see you.

-All right.
-Oh, wait, hold on.

Your collar's popped.

Wouldn't want your
fans to think you're

setting a fashion trend
or something.

Actually,
it's that way on purpose.

If I look too good,
I'm not approachable.

Okay.

Popped it is.

Okay, all set.

Is the chain too much?

It's too much, okay.

Um, would you put this

back in Maddie's jewelry box?

Wow, couple of VIPs.

You know, I always

considered myself
a man of the people,

but it turns out I don't
really like the people.

Just so you know,
everything here?

On the house.

Wow. Seriously?

Yeah.

Okay.

Whoa! A guy could
really caramelize

a crème brûlée
with this thing.

Smooth.

I know this is bad for
me, but how do I look?

You look dope, man.

Here, let's get a pic
for my gram.

Aw, that's sweet of you.

You're a good grandson.

My Instagram.

Right, yes, duh.

The gram.

But you should still sent
one to your grandmother.

Smile.

Not that big.

Just a normal smile.

Relax your mouth.

Okay, maybe this one's
just for my personal account.

♪ I fall in love...

I love this song.

Oh, you know Chet Baker?

The "Prince of Cool"?
Yes, I know him.

Oh, nice. I grew up listening
to my dad's jazz collection.

Oh, I grew up listening to
my dad scream four-letter words.

But I played jazz
to drown him out.

Well, look what
the cat dragged in.

Oh, hey, Nina.

Good to see you.

Who's your friend?

Oh, this is my boy,
Drew.

Very important psychologist.

And recently divorced.

Welcome back to the fun side.

I like your jacket.

Oh, thank you. Um, question.

Would you have liked it better
if it had a chain over it?

You're funny.

Bye, Eli.

Bye, Nina.

Wait, so you two...?

Ah, nah, we just
hook up sometimes.

Okay, Eli. Oh.

The girl I hooked up with,
I married.

Man, I cannot believe
this is your life.

Mm, it's all right.

Sometimes I feel like
dating is just

a revolving door
of superficial women.

Oh, yeah, and I bet having
all that money sucks, too.

Come on, man-- you've got
a great kid, cozy house,

you spent years
with a woman that you loved.

That's what I want.

Okay, so what's stopping you?

I don't know if women are into
me or the fame and the riches.

Well, I hope you don't think
that's all you have to offer.

I don't know.

Maybe.

Eli, you're a great guy.

The right woman's
gonna see that.

Thanks, man.

From one Prince of Cool
to the other.

Ah!

This is nice.

I haven't cooked in a real
kitchen for such a long time.

The only spices they give us
at Valley Hills are salt.

Well, this kitchen
is all yours. Oh.

And don't worry,

Drew has plenty
of fire insurance.

Thank you.

Where do you keep your cinnamon?

Oh, um, it's in the cabinet.

I'll get it.
Oh, wait.

I can get it, stop it!

Okay, just trying to help.

I'm sorry.

Just a little sensitive
about people

treating me like
I'm helpless.

People like my daughter.

Amy.

She pushed me
into Valley Hills.

She thinks I'm old

and feeble like those
other geezers.

Okay, that-that's a peach,
not Amy.

What's wonderful though is...

if you hadn't been there,
then...

we never would've met.

You're the best thing
to come out of it.

That and you reprogrammed

my Life Alert
to call the deli.

Good evening,
lovely ladies.

Your VIPs have returned.

Hmm.

Drew Dunbar,
do I detect a swagger?

Oh, you should have seen him.

This guy's got game.

He even learned a
new move. Show her.

Sup?

Whoa!

Give a lady some warning.

It was great--
three different women

asked me if I was somebody.

I'm not, but still.

Hey, what's going down in here?

Oh, Norma's making

her very famous
peach cobbler.

I've been making
this recipe

-for 50 years.
-Oh, I would

check your math, because
you don't look a day over 40.

Oh, I like this one.

Oh, and they gave us
some free wine and cigars.

So shall we adjourn
to the backyard

and continue the party?

Well, that sounds good.

I haven't had a cigar

since I was pregnant
with my daughter.

It was a different time.

Ten years ago wasn't
a different time.

Hey, less is more, big guy.

I'm telling you, women were
all over this guy.

And it wasn't
just the Super Bowl ring,

because he let me wear it,
and nothing.

It's not hard
at these events.

Women love
the fame thing.

Otherwise I'd have to rely
on my charm and good looks.

Well, you're not falling back
on your modesty.

What's your opener?

Uh, "I'm famous"?

That's not the opener.

That's the closer.

Well, in my face.

I guess.

Ah, don't listen to her,
you've got the whole package.

Charm, brains...

and that shayna punim. Oh!

Thanks.

Wasn't always like this.

Back in high school before
I started playing football,

I used to get teased
for being the fat kid.

-No way. Really?
-Yeah.

Ate a lot of chips so they
used to call me Eli Ruffles.

You out of shape?
Yeah.

I never would've
guessed that.

I used to get teased

for being the skinny kid.

And the nerdy kid.

And the kid who almost d*ed

from being trapped
under his own tuba.

That I would have guessed.

Anyway, it's getting late.

I'm off to bed.

And who knows?

Maybe I might post
a few pics on my gram.

That's Instagram, not grandma.

I can't believe some idiots
make that mistake.

Ah...

Norma, I think
the cobbler's done.

Oh, crap.

Well, I am dying

to hear some of these famous
Eli Russell pickup lines.

Wait, wait, wait,
let me guess.

"Hey, baby,

"are you a parking ticket?

'Cause you've got 'fine'
written all over you."

Come on, the only line I need
is, "Hi, I'm Eli Russell."

Oh. And...?

And what? I won a Super Bowl.

Oof. No, no, no, no.
That would not work on me.

Oh, yeah?

What's your best line, hotshot?

Oh, I don't need any lines.

-I've got a move.
-Oh, okay.

What is it,
tossing your hair back?

Licking your lips?

Accidentally backing into
me on the dance floor?

You're so funny.

-You think so?
-And that's the move.

Oh...

Okay, you got me.

Course anything you do
is pretty damn hard to resist.

Oh, you got a little
cigar ash on your cheek.

Is this a move?

I don't know. Is it?

Sorry I'm late. Things got
a little wild last night.

Ugh. If these loafers
could talk.

Oh, they would say, "Put us
on someone more interesting."

So you guys had fun?

You could say that.

Smoked a few 'gars
with my main man here,

-and got a lady's phone number.
-Ooh.

I was supposed to pass that
along to you, Eli,

but I'm calling her anyway.

How many times did you pretend
you didn't know him?

Drew? Not at all.
Robot Drew, twice.

But we had a good time.

Speaking of good time...

He's back.

Esperanza Spalding

is playing at The Blue Note
Saturday,

if you want to join me
for a little J-A-Z-Z.

Oh, I actually got a thing
on Saturday.

I thought Gina
would've told you.

Gina? Why?

My plans are with her.

My Gina? Like, a date?

Oh, boy.

Dialysis drama.

No, no, no drama. I'm...

-I'm glad you guys hit it off.
-We really did.

And I don't kiss and tell ...ll, then, don't.

It's a dialysis center,
not a locker room.

You don't hear Jerry bragging
about his erotic escapades.

Course not. Like a gentleman,
I save it for my podcast.

Wow. You learn something new

you don't want to know
every day.

Tough break, Drew.

Oh, guys, look,

Gina and I
are not a thing.

No, I mean,

boy gets donor, donor falls
in love with other patient,

other patient gets kidney,
boy gets screwed.

Oldest story
in the dialysis room.

Come on, I couldn't
do that to you.

I could.

Is Gina sexually curious?

Hey. How was dialysis?

Fine.

I have come
to understand that you

are going on a date with Eli.

Oh, yeah,
he's cooking me dinner.

Oh, I like Eli.

Get it, girl.

Yes. "Get it."

I'm just surprised
you didn't tell me.

Uh, I'm supposed to tell you

every time that I go out
with someone?

No, just when you're going out
with one of my friends.

I've seen your Instagram.
It's not gonna be a big problem.

Don't you have a house
to burn down?

Eli and I are connected.

We like the same music,

we're gonna work out together.

He calls me his boy.
No one's ever called me that.

Not even my dad.

What does that have
to do with me?

I don't have many friends.

I never have.

You know that.
You saw me in high school.

-You see me now.
-Drew,

I am not trying
to steal your friends.

If you guys go out
and things go well,

I'm a third wheel.

And if they don't,

I have to choose a side.

It's just a date.
We're not picking out names

for our kids or anything.

There are millions of guys
out there.

You could date any one of them.
This guy's mine.

And I don't care
how that sounds.

Eli and Drew forever.

We're boys!

Oh, my God. What is his problem?

Well, isn't it obvious?
He's jealous.

What? Ugh, no way.

Drew and I are just friends.

Oh, please. You're beautiful,
you're smart, you're funny,

and you're saving his life.

The poor schlemiel
never had a chance.

Hello.
Hey.

Oh, my God.

I love your place.

It's like if Martha Stewart
went to Foot Locker.

Thanks.

Here. I got you these.

-Aw.
-And these.

Oh.

And these.
Please stop.

I didn't know
which ones you'd like.

classic or cliché?

cute or too young?

too smelly
or just smelly enough?

Do you buy three bouquets
for every girl you date?

Normally I buy them
an Uber home, but...

...you're not every girl.

Well, you're not
every guy I date.

Unless this is your mom's house

and you live in the basement.

No.

That was really,

really, really sweet.

Wow.

I never thought I'd be grateful

for having renal failure.

What do you mean?

Well, that's how I met Drew

and that's how I met you.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

Uh, um, are we sure
this is a good idea?

Uh, I was until
about two seconds ago.

Well, it's just that,

Drew and I are close,
and I'm giving him my kidney.

And you two are
friends, and it just,

it just...
it just feels tangled.

Tangled?
Well,

Drew thinks that you
are the coolest,

and I don't want
to mess with that.

It won't. We won't.

Yeah, but...

You know Drew.

He's...
Yeah.

It was kind of awkward when
I told him we were going out.

So, maybe it's better
if we stop before we start?

Yeah, I can see that.

I don't want to hurt Drew.
That's my boy.

So I've heard.

Ugh. So I guess I
should just get going.

Um, thank you
for having me over.

We're just friends?

With no benefits.

Oh...

Mmm.

Oh, my God.

Goodbye, Eli.

Goodbye, Eli's pecs.

See you later.

Oh.

Hello. What's going on?

This nice officer
just brought me home, son.

And what exactly
is the problem, Mother?

She was driving your car
and blew through a stop sign.

My car?

You took my car?

She had no license
and seemed very confused,

so I brought her home.

Thank you for that, Officer.

I can take it from here.

Come on in, Mom.

I will mash up your pills
in your pudding,

just like how you like it.

Good acting.

Richard Gere, watch out.

You took my car?

I know, I should have asked.

But you were out of basil and
the keys were just sitting here.

You don't have a license, Norma.

I know, but I love the feeling

of being independent again.

I can cook here,

I can come and go
without signing a stupid log.

Feels so wonderful to remember

what my life was like
before Valley Hills.

Well, I'm sure
that was quite the adjustment.

This isn't exactly how
I thought I'd end up, you know.

My plan for my golden years

was to watch the sunset
from an Italian villa.

So, what happened?

My nest egg went poof
in the housing crash,

my husband d*ed way too soon

and my daughter thought
that I couldn't live alone,

so... here I am.

Yeah. That's, uh,
that's really tough.

I'm sorry.

Hmm. If I'm being honest,
it's probably for the best.

I didn't see that stop sign.

Well, that's not
necessarily age.

We all miss stuff.

There's a 50/50 chance
I have two different shoes on.

Nope. All good.

It's not just tonight.

It's everything.

I don't hear so well anymore.

I try to think of words
and they're not there.

I feel like
I'm losing myself...

a little at a time.

Well, I don't know
about that, Mom.

You still seem

pretty sharp to me.

Thank you, Derek.

Uh, it's...

I know it's Drew.
I'm not gone yet.

I'll tell you what.

If you ever need a kitchen

or just need to get away,

you're always welcome here.

You can consider this
your own personal Italian villa.

Oh, thank you.

You're a good man.

And with enough Chianti,
I think I can make it work.

Mm. So glad
you forgot your keys.

Me, too.

We don't have to tell Drew
about this right away, right?

Absolutely not.
I watched enough Real Housewives

to know that you always lie
to a friend.

Especially since
I already texted him

and said we broke it off.

Maybe we tell him
after the surgery,

when it's less complicated.

-Okay. Good idea.
-Yeah.

By the way, it's daisies.

What?

They're my favorite.

Good to know.