01x07 - And Yet One of You is a Devil

Episode transcripts for the TV show "The Righteous Gemstones". Aired: August 18, 2019 –; present.*
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Series follows a famous yet dysfunctional family of televangelists.
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01x07 - And Yet One of You is a Devil

Post by bunniefuu »

We have outmaneuvered those
who wish to cause us ruin.

Mission accomplished.
Our secrets are safe.

And nothing bad happened.

Well, I got sh*t.

But you weren't k*lled, so not that bad.

[COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYS]

GIDEON GEMSTONE:
They process the money Sunday.

On holidays, like Easter,
three million dollars.

SCOTTY: We're gonna rob that vault.

I have been asked by our
dear uncle to perform

because he recognized talent in me.

He's using you.

BABY BILLY FREEMAN: Tonight,
we got a special guest.

Judy-Leigh!

JESSE GEMSTONE:
We've been through some rough patches,

but look at us now, huh?

Together.

Gideon, there's somebody
at the front gate for you.

Scotty. Says he's your buddy.

- Should I let him in?
- [FAMILY CHEERS]

Okay.

[MUSIC CONCLUDES]

[TV STATIC DRONES]

[BRIGHT TONE]

[FUNKY MUSIC]

[MEN CHANTING] Chad! Chad! Chad! Chad!

Chad! Chad! Chad! Chad!

Chad! Chad! Chad! Chad!

Chad! Chad! Chad! Chad!

- [CAN CLATTERS]
- [ALL LAUGHING]

I'm ready to get f*cked up tonight!

g*dd*mn!

Oh, sh*t.

You totally ditched our dinner.

The waiter said you went to the bar.

[TOGETHER] Ooooooh.

You in trouble.

You ain't trying to hang
out with me and my friends.

That's why I got you your own room.

Normal kid would like that.

You got your freedom. Go, have fun.

Don't do that;
don't pretend like this is about me.

This is about you trying
to be Mr. Big sh*t

in front of your stupid friends.

For your information,
I am a big sh*t, Gideon.

- - Psh.
- You wanna laugh in my face?

Why don't you keep poppin'
off with that 'tude?

See if that internship of
yours doesn't disappear.

You can kiss them little

California dreams of yours good-bye.

I'll go anyways. You can't stop me.

You think you're gonna be in
that entertainment industry?

- Y...
- News flash!

People in Los Angeles
hate Christians, Gideon!

Good luck. [CHUCKLES]

Why don't you start your new
life of independence tonight?

Pack your sh*t. You're in room .

[UNINTELLIGIBLE CHATTER]

Yeah, dude. Whoo!

[HITTMAN'S "PARTNERS IN CRIME" PLAYING]

[LAUGHING]

I'm gonna get naked tonight.

- Yeah!
- Yeah, I'm...

I'm trying to cut f*ckin' loose tonight.

[LAUGHTER] My man!

Hey, sorry, Gideon.

- Sorry, man.
- He'll be all right.

Don't worry about him. He's leaving.

What time our friends
say they're comin' up?

- Should be any time now.
- Ooh!

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

[CHATTER, LAUGHTER]

ALL: Ohhhh!

Yeah, sexy man!

♪♪

[LAUGHTER]

["PARTNERS IN CRIME" FADES IN]

Hope you guys have fun tonight.

We will.

♪ Crime ♪

♪♪

Let's do cocaine!

Oh, there it is! Bam.

Thank you, bruh.
Now let's start with me.

♪ Every time I find a new relation ♪

♪ I get so scared and try to run ♪

- [KNOCKING AT DOOR]
- ♪ To be free again ♪

♪ Lord knows you want to be free ♪

♪♪

[BRIGHT CHOIR MUSIC]

So, Scotty, what brings you
all the way from Los Angeles?

Well, I actually came east to do a job,

but I got a little banged up,

so I had to bail on
that gig until I heal.

Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.

Mm, don't be.

You know, as the saying goes,

when one door closes,
another one kicks wide open.

- Hm.
- Oh, yeah? What door opened?

Well, I'm actually up
for a much bigger job

- with a lot bigger payday.
- Oh.

It is a dangerous line of work

that you and Gideon are in.

You would not be wrong, ma'am.

I have been sh*t, stabbed, trampled...

Hell, I've even been run over by a car.

Okay, wow. They get it, Scotty.

Yeah, it's a tough racket.

Lotta injuries.
How do you deal with the pain?

Well, I used to deal with the pain
by consorting with prostitutes

and snorting mils of Oxy a day.

f*ckin' awesome.

No, not awesome at all, little man.

I was in a very dark place...

Staring at the ceiling,

chasing shadows, the whole thing.

That is until Boy Wonder over here

introduced me to a guy by
the name of Jesus Christ.

Gideon. I'm so proud of you.

Gideon, you out there ministering in LA?

I guess so.

That's the Gemstone way right there.

Like father, like son.

Mm. Where are you staying
while you're here?

Well, I'm... I'm at the Budgetel Hotel

'cause I'm on a budget,
and it's a hotel.

So, seems to fit.

No, no. That will not do.

No, you're gonna go ahead
and stay here with us.

No, Dad, I... he's fine.
He's fine there.

Whoa, whoa, Gideon, but truth be told,

I left the Do Not Disturb
thing on the handle,

so those sheets are not gonna
be clean when I get there.

Scotty, I do the same thing
every time I stay at a hotel

because I'm afraid them
people gonna steal.

They will steal, sweetheart.

That's why no friend of my son

is gonna spend one single
night in a Budgetel Hotel.

- That's right.
- You are staying with us.

[SOFTLY] Thank you. [CHUCKLES]

God dang.

There is something so
familiar about you...

in your voice or...

have I seen you in something before?

No. No, Dad.

He just does stunts,
so you wouldn't have.

No, no. He's right.

[TENSE MUSIC BUILDING]

You have seen me.

I'm just impressed you remember.

♪♪

I had a recurring role as
a r*pist on "CSI: Miami."

[MUSIC FADES]

No, I don't think that's it.

I don't like watching TV shows
where people solve stuff.

It's something else.

Hm.

Ah, it'll come to me. [LAUGHS]

Welcome to our home.

- [TRANQUIL MUSIC]
- It's happenin', Mama.

Took me a while to find
my place in this world,

but I think I finally found it.

I am to follow in your footsteps...

To share my gifts of story
and song with the world.

♪♪

I was always so much like you,
you know, Mama?

Like, pretty much exactly the same...

Two strong women who refused
to be hidden figures.

Hidden figures no more.

[BLOWS RASPBERRY]

[LAUGHING]

What the hell are you doin'?

Yeah, are you talkin' to Mama?

- Maybe.
- 'Bout what?

'Bout how you're Baby
Billy's boyfriend now?

Kelvin, shut your mouth
or I'll shut it for you.

Nobody's shuttin' anybody's mouth.

Hey, Daddy.

Aw, man, you're looking good.
You been working out?

God. Stop trying
to kiss his ass, Kelvin.

J-Judes, why don't you stop trying
to pick fights with everybody?

Thinking you're a damn famous
figure skater... you're not.

I don't think I'm a
famous figure skater,

Jesse, so shut up.

Oh, really...
then why are you dressed like that?

Because she is stepping
into the public eye.

It's important to think about
how she presents herself.

See? Thank you, Daddy.

Yeah. Swing and a miss.

Easter is Sunday.

Our biggest service of the year.
Lots of eyeballs.

Lots of folk comin' in from outta town.

I want all four of us to
be featured this year.

All four of us?

Including me, Judy?

I was wrong telling
Judy I wouldn't support

what her and Baby Billy
were trying to do.

He gave you a chance when I wouldn't.

I was stubborn,
and I see how I've hurt you.

Okay, well, good for you.

I want you and Baby Billy to perform

at the Easter service.

Do a little dance number
while we're passing the plate.

[TENDER MUSIC]

[BREATHING RAPIDLY]
Like a collection song?

Like Mama used to do?

Oh, my God, Daddy. Thank you.

- Baby.
- Yeah, cool, congrats.

So, what are we gonna do?

Kelvin, you shall lead our youth

in a performance of some sort.

- [SCOFFS]
- Like I do every year.

- [SOBS]
- Jesse?

Opening prayer like every year?

No, sir.

This year,
I want you to give the main sermon.

You're my oldest.

Time for you to shine.

[VOICE BREAKING] Main
sermon on Easter Sunday?

♪♪

Damn, Daddy.

I won't let you down.

g*dd*mn. Yes.

Cool. Yeah, that's awesome.

We all got stuff.

Although the thing I got
I was already doing, so...

[CRYING] Me and Jesse
got really good stuff.

Yeah, you guys did.

Main sermon on Easter, Mama.

[CRYING] Collection song, Mama.

The thing I do every year, Mama.

[SLURRING] Collection song
on Easter Sunday, Mama.

[ROCK MUSIC]

♪♪

What's up, dude?

You give any more thought
to that stunt work?

Well, you know, I...
I did play four years of football

in college as a walk-on.

I guess I'd get hit pretty good.

If you ever get out to LA,
I'll hook you up with an agent.

Gotta gimme some headshots, though.

Shirt on, shirt off.

Fight face, O face.

We're gonna make you a superstar.

Your friend's crazy, Gideon.

I know. He's from California.

[ENGINE RUMBLES]

So once the cash is counted
and loaded into carts,

Martin and I will wheel the carts

from the accounting room to the vault

using the back access hallway.

Now, before we get to the vault,

there's a service elevator located here.

You bring Martin's ass
down that elevator,

I'll be waiting with my f*ckin' mask on,

ready to strike.

Okay, but you won't actually
be striking anybody.

As soon as the elevator door opens,
I'm gonna be rock hard.

And I'm more than likely
gonna p*stol-whip you.

Nothing too big.

I don't want this getting out of hand.

Just make it quick.

Well, if your boy Martin makes moves,

I'm not making any promises, okay?

Probably gonna have to tie you up here,

sell some more v*olence.

So anticipate a few kicks,
maybe another P whip.

Definitely not. No more P whips.

Okay, f*ck it. I'll improvise.

Oh, dude, I have something for you.

I was gonna save it as a surprise,

but I might as well show you now.

It's your dad's sex tape.

I took it to Geek Squad
and had some incel fix it.

- Wow.
- Yeah, wow is right.

This is for you if you're a good boy.

This is what you always wanted...

Teach your pops a lesson.

Now you still can.

Na-ta-ta-ta-ta-dah.

[CHUCKLING] No.

No sweets till we eat the broccoli.

First, we get the cash.

Then we destroy your old man.

[FOREBODING MUSIC]

♪♪

I got big news, Uncle Baby Billy.

Real big.

Daddy asked us to be part
of the Easter broadcast.

The collection number.

Well, it's time to start rehearsin'.

Come on, now.

We gonna learn a new move today.

Shuffle backstep.

Shuffle backstep.

Okay, yeah,
but didn't you hear what I said?

Yes, bitch, I heard you.

I'm pretending like I didn't.

Don't bitch-talk me, bitch.

I-I thought this was what we wanted.

Not from Eli Gemstone it ain't.

What, Judy?

He gonna be all helpful, wonderful?

Swoop in, give us a little doggy bone?

Uh-uh. That's too little, too late.

Now, he don't get to have you, Judy.

Now, you belong to Uncle Baby Billy now.

Get your shoes on.

We got work we got to do now.

No, it's just that, Uncle Baby,

I was thinkin' what if we did
"Jesus on the Dirt Road"

or something?

That would be broadcast into TVs

across the whole world. [LAUGHS]

Mr. Baby Billy,
Judy makes a great point.

- It could be great exposure.
- I-I'm sorry.

Somebody trying to talk
to me while I'm working?

Yes, Baby Billy. It was the boy.

Boy?

Listen here, TJ.

You don't speak to me during rehearsal

unless you're spoken to.
You understand?

My name is BJ. You know that.

Go outside, nerd!

Get out! Go!

I ain't got time to be distracted

by your worthless chime-ins. Go on!

Judy, you better tell this sumbitch

to walk the f*ck out right now,

or we done for the day.

Go on.

It's your choice, now. Make it.

Just walk the f*ck outside, BJ.

Judy, I'm just here
trying to support you.

Just go, BJ.

You're making me look like an idiot.

Go outside.

[SOMBER MUSIC]

What? Go!

♪♪

I'm gonna tell you something
that even your mama knew.

Your daddy, he is a fame whore...

A Look-At-Me Larry.

He'd suck a man's cock in
the middle of town square

if he thought it'd make
him famous forever.

He'd suck ten men's cocks.

Well, not today. Uh-uh.

Now, we will not perform for
him on Easter Sunday, Judy.

We will perform right here, for us.

♪♪

What was that move you were showing me?

♪ You don't have to be alone ♪

♪ When we're having so much fun ♪

♪ Don't be alone ♪

I have an announcement to make.

What is it, baby?

Well, it would appear

that Daddy has asked for me...

to headline the Easter service.

- Are you kiddin' me?
- I am not.

He's got Kelvin doing some dancin'
youth bullshit,

but he's got me doing the main sermon.

- Mm!
- I can't believe it.

Hey, is the main sermon,
like, a big deal?

It's the most gigantic-est of deals.

That'd be the equivalent of
you being cast as the lead

in a major motion
picture action franchise.

Congrats, Mr. G.

Congrats, Dad.

He just knows what
I've known for so long.

You are ready.

I am ready.

And I owe it all to the man upstairs.

No, I'm not perfect, dear Lord.

I have made my fair share of mistakes.

But underneath it all,
I really am destined

to lead this church.

Baby, I knew this day would come.

My beautiful queen.

You shall rule by my side.

Gideon, I'm really glad you're home

to witness this fine accomplishment.

Abraham, you too.

Pontius, I know you don't give a sh*t.

You guys are so lucky
to have each other.

Lots of dudes and dads
don't get to share

special moments like this.

My dad's in prison.

[VOICE BREAKING] You guys are so lucky.

[GLUGS]

We are.

- We're very lucky.
- Very.

Scotty, I am so sorry to hear
of your father's incarceration.

But if you need a daddy...

I'm here for you.

Oh.

Oh.

Use my strength.

[MOUTHING WORDS]

Yes. You are loved in His light.

Praise be to He.

- Amen.
- Giving us everything we need.

Family, friends, oysters,

caviar, charcuterie,
and a f*ckin' yacht.

Easter f*ckin' Sunday.

[PEACEFUL ORGAN MUSIC]

- _
- Today is gonna be big.

Biggest daytime service of the year.

, sets of live eyes
staring straight back at us.

million worldwide.

[SIGHS SOFTLY]

Dear God,

enlighten us and remind us

that this service is not about us.

It is about your son, Jesus Christ.

Through Him our sins are forgiven.

Give us the strength that is
needed to spread your word.

Give us your guidance to
achieve what we must do.

♪♪

In your name, Amen.

ALL: Amen.

♪♪

Daddy! [GIGGLES] Daddy.

Hey, um, can we talk?

I'm so excited to see you perform today.

I'm surprised Baby Billy
didn't make sunrise prayer.

Well, actually, um,

I have conferenced with
my creative partner,

and we will not be performing

at your Easter service, unfortunately.

This is a fine time to
be hearing about it,

two hours before the service.

I shoulda known better than
to think I could count on you.

Well, it's too little, too late, Daddy.

'Cause you know what they say:

you can't gobble the pie
if you didn't help bake it.

Judy, what in the world has that man

been puttin' into your head?

Nothin', Daddy, okay?

Nothin' that wasn't already in there,
'cause guess what?

I'm not a little girl anymore.
I'm a woman.

Yeah, I know.
You're almost years old.

Yeah, no duh, Daddy.

That's called not a little girl anymore.

I have regular woman panties

where the string goes up my cr*ck.

I have tits. I do sex.

I'm carvin' my own path.

- Judy.
- That's my name.

Don't wear it out, son.

Happy Easter, Daddy.

[ELECTRONIC ROCK MUSIC]

♪♪

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

[TOGETHER] ♪ Praise the Lord ♪

♪ His righteousness at hand ♪

♪ Lord, Lord, Lord ♪

♪ Take us to the promised land ♪

♪ Holy w*r ♪

♪ The battle has begun ♪

♪ So praise the Lord ♪

♪ His righteous Lord has come ♪

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

Thank you all so much
for that warm welcome.

- And from my family to yours...
- Camera four. Push in on Eli.

God bless each and every one of you

on this glorious Easter morning.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

And not just those here in the building,

but those joining us
by cable television,

satellite, radio, and the internet.

Our friends watching in foreign lands,

God's love speaks all
languages and knows no borders.

- Amen?
- ALL: Amen.


[LAUGHING] Amen.

[APPLAUSE]

However you're with us, you are welcome

and know that you are loved.

[RETCHING]

[HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING]

♪♪

On the third day, Jesus rose again.

But today, I need you
to rise up out your seats.

Come on now. Come on now.

Everybody, get up.

Get up, get up, come on!

♪♪

Whoo!

♪♪

[MUFFLED MUSIC POUNDING]

Do you wish you were there?

BJ, stop trying to get into my head.

g*dd*mn.

Can't you be supportive

and stop trying to make
me second-guess my sh*t?

Judy, I'm not trying to make
you second-guess anything.

'Kay. Then why'd you go...

[MOCKING] "Do you wish you were there?"

I've done nothing but support you, Judy.

I'm not even religious,
and I'm here with you,

trying to be a part of your family.

Well, try harder. 'Cause guess what?

My whole family hates you,
and it's embarrassing as hell.

[SOFT MUSIC]

♪♪

I've had it. I'm leaving.

Stop, BJ.

Come on,
I've had a m*therf*cker of an Easter.

You're gonna make it worse?

Move aside, Judy.


Benjamin Jason!

If you leave like this, it's over.

That's that. We're done.

Fine.

Singing and dancing at
church has changed you, Judy.

I have to stand up for myself.

I have to be a man.

Oh, God. Is that what this is?

Yes.

[CRYING] Damn it.

[MELANCHOLY MUSIC]

You'll have to find your
own transportation home.

BJ!

♪♪

[RING CLINKS]

[MELLOW ROCK MUSIC]

f*ck you.

[TOGETHER] ♪ He gave His love,
He gave His life ♪

♪ He gave His blood ♪

♪ He paid the price ♪

♪ Praise Him, Praise Christ ♪

♪ Praise love and sacrifice ♪

[MUSIC CONTINUES FAINTLY]

Hey, hey, hey!
There's my number one son.

You okay, buddy?

You don't look so hot, man.

Everything all right?

Dad, there's something I
need to come clean about.

Something I should have
told you a long time ago.

I just want you to know
this isn't how I wanted for it to go.

It's just...

things have gotten really complicated.

Is this about you and Scotty?

Yeah.

Hm.

I knew it.

Ever since you came back home,

I've been slowly puttin' the pieces

of the puzzle together.

I guess I was just in denial.

Is this why you left home?

Yes, sir.

Hm.

[SIGHS DEEPLY]

Gideon, I love you...

no matter who you are or
what you do or who you do.

I could care less that you're gay.

Dad, what?

Are you the main guy or...
are you the one who gets it?

- Dad...
- You know what?

Actually, don't answer that question.

Doesn't even matter.

I don't even know why I asked
you that stupid question.

Gideon, time to punch in.

The money is rolling our way. [LAUGHS]

Buddy, I'm proud of you.

Thank you for sharing that with me.

Can't get nothing past me.

[GUITAR SOLO]

♪♪

CHOIR: ♪ Praise Him, Praise Christ ♪

♪ Praise love and sacrifice ♪

Good morning!

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

Welcome, one and all,
on this blessed Easter Sunday.

Praise be to He.

ALL: Praise be.

Now, when I say Easter,
a lotta images come to mind.

The bunny.

Easter egg hunts.

Them marshmallow Peeps that taste better

when they're stale.

[LAUGHTER]

But the strongest image
of all has got to be...

Jesus Christ nailed on the cross,

dying for our sins.

ALL: Amen.

Now, it is natural to think of
Jesus's suffering on this day.

But what about the suffering
of another man...

Somebody you might not think of?

[CASH COUNTERS WHIRRING]

What about the suffering of Judas,

the man that betrayed Jesus?

The very name is
synonymous with treachery.

To most, Judas is driven by evil,

perhaps guided by the devil himself.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

But try, if you will,
to imagine Judas's suffering...

The agony he must have felt
facing those other disciples,

hearing of Christ's t*rture

and knowing it was all because of him.

♪♪

He soiled that which was holy...

Betrayed his friends,

micturated upon his
good name and for what?

pieces of silver.

It wasn't about the money. Oh, no.

A betrayal such as
Judas's cuts much deeper.

♪♪

You see,
a foe can plan your destruction,

but only a loved one
can break your heart.

♪♪

f*ck. Where's the money?

It's over. I'm not doing it.

You're not gonna do it?

What, did you go chickenshit on me, huh?

Do you know how much I
can sell this for, huh?

Do you know every tabloid
in the world wants this?

- Do you get th...
- [GRUNTING]

[BOTH PANTING, GRUNTING]

Go to sleep, you little cute cocksucker.

Go to sleep.

[GRUNTS]

[SCREAMING]

I'm sick!

- Of you!
- [GROANS]

You mother! Fucker!

[GROANS, GROANS]

Okay, hey! Preacher boy.

[GROWLS]

What are you gonna do, sh**t me?

[g*n CLICKS]

Give me...

the LaCie Rugged Drive.

You know, you talk a big game, Scotty.

You're just another wannabe actor.

A f*ckin' fraud.

You think I'm a fraud?

[SCOFFS]

Look at you and your shitbag family.

The Gemstones are the
biggest frauds in the world.

They may not be perfect,

but they're my family.

Despite the betrayal,

despite the doubt, despite the pain,

on that third day,

Jesus Christ performed a miracle

unlike the world had ever seen!

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

[DOORS SLAM]

f*ck!

The sun had come out, and He had risen!

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

[TRIUMPHANT MUSIC]

♪♪

Go on, tell me what
else were they saying.

They were just saying
how much they loved it,

and they loved that sermon.

They felt close to Christ
and how confident you seemed.

- I heard people saying that too.
- Mm-hmm.

I heard some people saying
that I was as good as Daddy.

Might even have heard
a few say I was better.

- Mmm. Oh, I believe it.
- [CHUCKLES]

You know how people like
to kiss a minister's ass.

I do. I do know that.

- Hey, guys.
- Hey, baby.

- Where's Scotty?
- Um, Scotty had to split.

I guess the job he was
waiting on is a go.

Oh. Sorry we missed him.

Hey. You're a good man

for helping a dude like that out...

A guy who's down on his luck.

I'm proud of you.

I didn't tell your mom anything
we talked about earlier.

That's your special news to share, son.

Special news?

Yeah, Dad, I'm not in love with Scotty,

if that's what you thought.

In love with Scotty?

No, Mama, I'm not.

I'm just your son... regular.

[SOFTLY] Okay.

Well, there's a lotta
handsome fish in the sea.

I'm sure you'll find
the right one, buddy.

Right, thanks, but I'm...

I'm looking for just
female fishes exclusively.

- It was just a...
- So you're bi?

No, Dad. I'm not, I'm not.

I'm not bi, Mom.

- That's okay.
- You know that.

- I love you.
- I...

I know, but I...

I feel we can just move
on from this conversation.

Doesn't matter. I love my bi son.

[MUSIC PLAYING SOFTLY ON STEREO]

[VAN APPROACHING]

[SOMBER MUSIC]

♪♪

[ENGINE SQUEALING]

Car brakes.

[CHIMES TINKLING]

[g*n CLICKS]

[TENSE MUSIC]

Hey, party boy.

♪♪

- It was you.
- Yeah.

But it wasn't just me.

It was your son, too.

We're gonna take a
little ride to church,

and you're gonna open
that f*ckin' vault for me.

- The vault?
- Yeah, numbnuts.

The vault.

Gideon's a part of this?

It was his f*cking idea.

♪♪

Now, let's go for a ride.

What do I do with my drink?

Put it down.

♪♪

[ENGINE GRINDING DISTANTLY]

♪♪

[GRINDING CONTINUES]

[GRINDING]

f*ck!

You make one move or sound,

and I plug your whole g*dd*mn family.

You broke my f*ckin' door.

[KEYPAD BEEPS]

You know, you're wasting your time.

I can't get you into that vault.

My Daddy doesn't give me access to it.

Scotty!

Let my Dad go. Now.

How ya doin' there, slugger? Huh?

You still think I'm all talk?

'Cause I'm about to show
you some real v*olence,

and it's all your fault.

See how f*ckin' fake I am now.

[g*n CLICKS]

Don't do it!

Hey! Please don't do it.

That's a good dude.

Now get in the van.

We gon' go see Grandpa.

[TELEVISION DRONING] A local
[INDISTINCT] was hit


in downtown Charleston.

A woman pled guilty to driving
under the influence


and driving away from the
scene of that accident.


- She was ordered to pay a...
- [DOORBELL CHIMES]


... $ damage, and then was...

[DOORS RATTLING]

sh*t! [PANTING]

[TENSE MUSIC]

Oh, f*ck.

Gideon.

Don't be a tough guy. Inside.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no.

[RATTLES DOORS] f*ck!

[GRUNTS]

Nice and easy.

Yeah.

Whoo, yeah! Huh?

Tie his ass up, bitch.

[EXHALES] Eli Gemstone.

You run some racket, huh?

You got a lotta sh*t.

[GOBLETS CLATTERING]

Whoops.

I mean, come on.

It's a lotta meaningless sh*t.

- I mean, look at this.
- [GLASS SHATTERS]

[LAUGHS]

♪♪

- [GRUNTS]
- m*therf*cker!

Slap me with those
big, meaty, dad hands.

Enough! Enough! Let's just do this.

[GROANS]

I need your key card, Grandpa.

I'm sorry.

Please just do as he says.

It's in my office.

In the drawer... top... top drawer.

The... desk.

I'm sorry.

[ENGINE RATTLING]

[TIRES SCREECH]

[DARK MUSIC]

♪♪

f*ck my ass.

[EXHALES SHARPLY]

How we doin'? Hm?

We comfy?

[THUD]

f*ck!

That's for all the bullshit.

[THUD]

And that's for the hell of it.

We could've been a k*ller team, Gideon.

p*ssy brothers of Thailand,

coordinating low budget
kung-fu pics by day,

slammin' ass at night.

Vegetarian options in
every f*ckin' restaurant.

Thailand is f*cking bananas.

You made your choice.

And you broke my f*ckin' heart.

♪♪

[DOOR SLAMS]

[SIGHS]
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