01x41 - Bro Down Showdown

[bunniefuu]

Grrr!

[all screaming]

Fools, scurrying like ants.
I should treat 'em like ants.

You mean you're taking us
on a picnic?

What? No.

Obliterator Bot, magnify!

[all scream]

[Sonic] Incoming heroes!

Can't a guy test out a deadly
w*apon on innocent civilians

without being interrupted?

What's this world coming to?

See? That's exactly
what I'm talking about.

Grrr!

[cheering]

Toot-toot!

Yay!

Congratulations, Sonic.

This is the millionth time
you have all saved the village.

You'll receive a Greatest
Role Models of All Time Award

as soon as I punch the final
hole in your hero rewards card.

Toot-toot!

Thank you all.

We promise to live up
to this fine award

and set a good example.

[crazy laughter]

Starting now.

Nothing but net.

I bet I can sink one
without looking.

[all cheer]

- [all] Huh?
- [gurgles]

A restaurant is no place
for such behaviour.

In fairness, Meh Burger's
barely a restaurant.

How can you call yourselves
role models

when you exhibit
such bad judgment?

Come on, sweetie,

let's go find a precarious ledge
for you to play on.

She's right. We shouldn't
be horsing around in here.

We should be horsing around
out here.

Nothing but net.

- Huh?
- I'll take that.

Hey. What's the big idea?

We're trying to sh**t her out
of a cannon into a trash can.

Oh, no, you're not.

DB Platypus, image specialist.

The mayor hired me because
there have been complaints

that you role models haven't
been very... role modelly.

What?
We're awesome role models.

Aargh!

Role models seldom
sh**t each other out of cannons.

From now on you must be
exemplary in every way.

Sounds like you want us
to become soulless drones.

Finally someone's
paying attention. Ahem.

Remember, you're not people
any more, you're role models.

So let the training begin.

Rule one.
Never question me.

- Why not?
- Role model infraction!

Ha-ha! Sticks is in trouble!

Ha-ha! Knuckles is in trouble!
Oh.

I can't believe
that ridiculous mayor

gave an award to Sonic
and his do-gooder friends.

He might have saved the village
a million times

but only because I've endangered
the village a million times.

And where's your award?

The only award I ever get
is a butt-whooping.

And the occasional
Grammy nomination.

It's not right, sir. You're the
greatest genius who ever lived.

The most powerful villain
in the world...

With the most styling stache
in the universe.

Thrice snubbed.

Well, today we're gonna
do something about it.

- After you, Tails.
- No, after you.

No, no, no, no, no, no.
I insist. After you.

Will one of you
just order already?

[blows nose]

What delightful roll-modelling!

And you're not
doing so bad yourselves.

Why am I always second to bread?

I'll tell you why. Because
you shouldn't eat out so often.

A true role model knows
the value of a home-cooked meal.

I have a home
where we can cook meals.

Wonderful role-modelling.

You could learn a thing or two
from her.

I'd really like to help you out,

but municipalities don't
give out trophies for villainy.

I'm good
at lots of other things.

For example,
I have a lovely singing voice.

♪ Beautiful dreamer,
wake unto me ♪

♪ Starlight and dewdrops
are waiting for thee ♪

I'm sorry, fourth place isn't
a trophy. It's a certificate.

Grrr!

- Ames, dinner ready yet?
- [whistle]

Why is it
that the female has to cook?

As role models, you must avoid
falling into gender stereotypes.

While I agree with you
in principle,

the simple fact is I'm the only
one who knows how to cook.

And I enjoy it.

What you like is unimportant.
You're a role model now.

I have this pole-vaulting trophy
I pulled out of the garbage.

Oww!

Finally you're setting
a good example.

But... nobody else is here.

No questioning
the image specialist!

I am sick of that whistle,

I'm sick of being a role model

and I am sick of this trophy!

No! That's very bad
role-modelling.

[knock at door]

That must be Sticks
coming back to apologise.

Superbly role-modellish of her,
I do say.

- Sonic! It's an emergency!
- What?

- Eggman is...
- [whistle]

Just a moment, old chap.
Running into a room is bad form.

Sonic, I'm looking at you.

Let's try that again.

[knock at door]

I beg your pardon,
but it's come to my attention

that a Dr Eggman is laying waste
to the entire village.

Anywho, Bob's your uncle,
and enjoy your meal.

You heard him, team.
Let's get moving.

Not so fast.

If people in the village
are going to be watching you,

you need to...

[all] Set a good example.

What? What did we do now?

Nothing.
That was my praise whistle.

If you're going into battle,
you have to follow a few rules.

Amy Rose, if you're going
to swing your hammer,

you'll need protective eye wear.

Sonic, when you race about,

you will need to wear reflective
clothing and honk this horn.

Tails, no driving.
You don't have a licence.

And, Knuckles,
don't break anything.

One step ahead of you.

Got it. Let's go, team!

Do I even need to say it?

If I can't win a trophy,
I'll steal one. Ha!

- Guys, it's time to get busy.
- [whistle]

Ahem.
Impressionable children here.

[sighs]
Put on your stupid stuff.

Your stuff.

Your awesomely cool protective
gear that all kids should wear.

Hey, Sonic, maybe you should put
soft foam caps on your spikes.

- Sonic?
- Yeah, yeah, I'm on it.

Now, let's see, where was I?
Oh, yes, on a rampage.

Let's crush Eggman
once and for all.

Oh, come on!

Use your words.

Let's model conflict resolution
through talking things out.

- But he's a villain.
- Greatest villain ever.

Stealing a trophy
isn't the same as winning one.

If the award is for villainy,
I'd say it's better to steal it.

Uh... Well, yeah.
You got me there.

Score one for Eggman.
I like this battling with words.

You know what else I like?

I-statements.
Use your I-statements.

Eggman, when you sh**t lasers
at me, I feel sad.

I need you
to be less destructive.

Offer to meet Dr Eggman halfway.

Eggman, I'd like to meet you...

Meet this!

[Knuckles] Whoa... ugh!

See, kids?
They're being role models.

- They're getting crushed.
- Like role models.

Brrr!

- [whistle]
- Role model infraction!

We don't want
these impressionable children

to think
this is how you resolve things.

Come on, guys.
I can't do this alone.

No! Keep using your words.

You're starting
to get through to me.

Sticks, instead
of throwing your boomerang,

why don't you offer to,
I don't know, share it?

Oh, I'll share it all right.

Hey! Who likes chilli dogs?

Chilli dogs all around!

And don't let anybody tell you
to use a napkin.

Coast is clear. No kids around,
no consultants watching.

Let's scramble that egg!

Wait. Hold on. What happened
to the I-statements?

When you act like a jerk,
I start pounding you.

Being a role model is overrated.

I'd much rather be
hilariously edgy.

Sonic, when you say
things like that,

I feel like throwing up
in my mouth.