01x48 - Designated Heroes

[bunniefuu]

Grrr!

Breaking news!

An epidemic is spreading
across the globe.

Beaver Fever!

I'm not talking about
an actual disease, of course.

I'm colourfully describing
the mania

surrounding teen
singing sensation Justin Beaver.

Girls everywhere are going gaga
for this teen heart-throb.

They can't get enough of him.

And suddenly Dad the anchor-bird
isn't cool any more.

Maybe Justin Beaver will
foot the bill for private school

instead of buying
those golf clubs he wanted.

Just what this world needs.

Another cookie-cutter pop star
force-fed to us by the man.

You're right,
this Beaver Fever thing

is clearly a marketing ploy

to sell sub-standard music
to gullible teenage girls.

Who could possibly fall for it?

Isn't Justin great?

When I heard his first song,
"Girl, I Like You",

I wasn't sure if Justin was
actually talking about me.

But then
his next song was titled

"Yes, I'm Actually
Talking About You"

and I totally freaked out!

How can you allow yourself

to become a pawn
of the corporate fat cats?

Before you judge,
just listen to one track.

I don't want to over-hype it,

but he's the greatest
entertainer who ever lived!

♪ Girl, it's time I told you
'bout my serious condition ♪

[groans]

♪ I can't stop thinking about you,
I had to call a physician ♪

[music off]

Ugh! That was terrible.

I finally have a soundtrack
for my nightmares.

I... love it!

I knew I could rely on Sticks
to be the voice of reason.

We're through
the looking glass here.

White is black
and black is white.

Wait till you hear the rest!

[both giggle]

Sticks, we still on
for rock climbing?

Uh, sure, whatever.

[giggling]

Hello? Sticks? You ready to go?

What happened in here?

I turned my burrow into a
totes adorbs tribute to Justin.

Oh, is that
what's going on here?

Sticks! Sticks! Sticks!

You are not gonna believe it.

Justin Beaver is in town

and he's doing a signing
at the music shop right now!

[shrieks]

And he's performing a concert
at Village Centre this weekend!

[both shriek]

You really need
to stop doing that.

What should we wear?

I'm thinking of wearing
the one outfit I own.

- Me too.
- [both shriek]

I can understand Amy
fan-girling out, but Sticks?

There's something fishy
about this Beaver Fever.

We need to investigate.

I hope you ladies are ready,
because here he is.

The boy
who'd sweep you off your feet

if he didn't have
such tiny little arms.

Your favourite global pop
phenomenon, Justin Beaver!

[all shriek]

You're the only fan
I care about.

You're the only fan
I care about.

You're the only fan
I care about.

Be my baby! Ohh!

Just step over her.

We're not selling
enough merch. Turn it up.

- [sighs]
- ♪ Yo, yo ♪

♪ My doc warns me
you're like cholesterol ♪

♪ But, baby, I know
that you're the best of all ♪

♪ Take heed of my jingle,
you make my left arm tingle... ♪

Whatever's going on,
that guy's behind it.

Music industry professionals
only.

Don't worry, I got this.

[blows tunelessly]

How are we gonna convince
this guy we're in the music biz?

I know just what to do...

...we'll form
our very own boy band.

Did you have to bring us down
here to finish that sentence?

A boy band?
We'll lose our street cred.

What about our machismo?

Mmm... cheese-mo.

I know, but to find out
what's going on with the girls

we're going to have to man up.

And by "man up" you mean

rehearse a choreographed dance
routine in sequined outfits?

Exactly. It'll take a lot of
work so we'd better get started.

[funky dance music]

- Easier than I thought.
- We just have to pick a name.

We've still got
a little montage time left.

Knuckles! Stop tearing pages
off that calendar.

- OK, fine.
- We need to think of names.

I was saving this name
for if I ever formed a band,

but how about... Dude-itude?

Too awesome-sounding. It needs
to be soft and inoffensive.

- Something like...
- Dreamboat Express?

- [all] Eww!
- It's perfect.

Music industry professionals
only.

We are
music industry professionals.

We're Justin's opening act.

♪ Ba ba-ba-ba-da-ba-ba ♪

♪ Ba ba-ba-ba-da-ba-ba ♪

Mm-mm.

I guess this is the end
of Dreamboat Express.

Dreamboat Express?

With a name like that, you must
be professionals. Come on in.

There he is. Now
to find out his evil scheme.

Your p.m. got moved to p.m.,
your p.m. got moved to p.m.

I guess it makes sense
he wouldn't reveal his evil scheme

the exact moment
we happened to be listening.

Shifting gears, how's
our evil scheme coming along?

Looking good.

Tonight
Justin will debut his new single

which has % more mind control.

Perfect!

Any female
within a five-mile radius

will be turned into
a mindless consumer zombie,

and I'll be reaping the profits.

[laughs]

Mind control. That explains it.

Intruders! Get them!

Mind control?
That's preposterous.

Justin would never do that.
He and I have a special bond.

Us too. He even
wrote a song only about me.

It's called "Every Single Girl
I've Ever Met".

But it's true!

Justin's producer conveniently
revealed the whole scheme

right in front of us.

Talk about lazy writing!

Trust us, guys,
we're not under mind control.

Let's get to that concert

and spend our life savings
on Justin Beaver merchandise.

[both shriek]

Don't worry,
I know just what to do...

...since the mind control
is embedded in the music track,

there must be an opposite
sound frequency to counter it.

We just need to find it.
Thus, the Measure-ometer!

It's fun to bring people
a long way to finish a sentence.

It really is.

And now here he is,

the nocturnal, semi-aquatic
rodent of your dreams,

Justin Beaver!

For me to calibrate
the Measure-ometer,

we need to get on that stage
without being seen.

- Hey, you there!
- [all] Huh!

The show's starting.

The opening act needs to be
up on that stage.

[all whistle]

Man, I'm good at my job.
What would they do without me?

Has it discovered
the counter-frequency?

Not yet.
We have to stall Justin.

[cheering]

- Who are you?
- Dreamboat Express!

Ugh, I hate that name.

And we challenge you
to a sing-off.

What are they doing here?

♪ You should expect the expected
and nothing more ♪

♪ Cos you've all heard
this song and dance before ♪

♪ Our moves are stale,
our harmonies bland ♪

♪ Cos we're just another...
whoo... generic boy band ♪

Wow, they're pretty good.

I'd love to meet those guys
some day.

♪ I've got a bold confession ♪

♪ And I think it's time you knew ♪

♪ I'm into you specifically,
girl ♪

♪ And no other girl will do ♪

[both] He's talking about me!
In your face!

♪ Yo, yo, yo, we're bringing it
weak and we're bringing it lame ♪

♪ Whatever we can do
to keep it all the same ♪

♪ We're focus-tested
and radio friendly ♪

♪ The only thing that matters
is we stay trendy ♪

♪ You're unique, you're complex
and interesting, girl ♪

♪ And I'm not being hyperbolic ♪

♪ Let's carve our name
into a tree ♪

♪ It's vandalism, but symbolic ♪

♪ You should expect the expected
and nothing more ♪

♪ Cos you've all heard
this song and dance before ♪

♪ Our phoney baloney image
is planned ♪

♪ Cos we're just another...
huh... generic boy band ♪

♪ Won't you please
be my special girl? ♪

♪ We'll do the things
you want to do ♪

♪ And take a trip
to that place you like ♪

♪ And be home before curfew ♪

♪ Ooh-ooh ♪

[shrieking]

[Tails] The counter-frequency!

Of course.
I should have known all along.

- [rock guitar]
- Drop that generic fat b*at!

Not rock and roll!

Ladies and... uh... ladies,

prepare for the bad boy musical
stylings of... Dude-itude!

♪ You thought
we'd never b*at the Beaver ♪

♪ But now we're here
to make you believers ♪

♪ Sonic and crew,
rocking with the chemistry ♪

♪ Crummy boy band music
is the enemy ♪

- Ugh!
- [all sigh]

What happened? Where are we?

I don't know, but listen
to that sweet guitar solo.

[all sigh]

Your power rock has freed me
from the evil of mind control.

I can move into an industry

where I won't be exploited
by unscrupulous producers.

Hello, humiliating
reality TV series!

I'm ruined! I'm ruined!

- We're here!
- [all] We're Dude-itude!

♪ And though you may find us
crude and rude ♪

♪ We have to conclude
you'll come unglued ♪

♪ Now that you've heard us ♪

♪ Dude-itude! ♪