01x08 - Revenge of the Anchovy Monster/Food Goggles/Steak Starbolt Spooktacular

[bunniefuu]

NARRATOR: One boy...

Yeah!

NARRATOR: One worm.

You know it.

(GROANS)

(BEEPS)

NARRATOR: These are their adventures.

(ROARS)

(ALL WHOOPING)

Sweet!

(BOTH LAUGHING)

-Whoo!
-All right, yeah. Pretty fun. Future-Worm.

FUTURE-WORM: Welcome to Second Abs.

You ready?

-You know it.
-Begin!

(BOTH GRUNTING)

I'm so hungry, man.

I'm orderin' a pizza.

Excellent!
But no anchovies...

I hate anchovies.

-(BEEPS)
-Hey Danny, the usual?

Yeah, but no anchovies.

It'll be there in minutes. Peace out!

What? Twenty minutes?

I'm starving.
I can't wait that long.

C'mon, we're goin' minutes
into the future for our pizza!

FUTURE-WORM: Come on, let's go.

(SCREAMING)

(BOTH GRUNT)

Uh, I think we took a wrong turn.

Man!
This place rules!

And look! Our pizza!

Woo! Let's grab it and get outta here!

Let's go eat some pizza!

(ROARING)

Whoa!
A monster anchovy.

(ROARS)

I told ya...

I hate anchovies!

I'm gonna show this punk who's boss.

Yo! Check these suckers out!

(GRUNTS)

Huh? (GIBBERING)

Huh?

(GRUNTING)

Give him an autograph
and I'll go grab the pizza.

So, who am I making this out to?

(GIBBERING)

All right. Okay.

Woo, I got it!
Let's go! Let's go!

Rawr!

(SOBBING)

(ROARING)

(SOBBING)

(GROWLS)

(SOBBING)

(ROARS)

(ROARS)

Yes. Yeah! All right!
Woo-hoo!

Let's eat!

Uh... What the...

We told that pizza guy no anchovies!

Dude, I'll just take 'em off.

I got a better idea.

Lousy anchovies!

Aww, man.
I coulda eaten that.

(SNIFFS)

(GULPING)

(ROARS)

See?
Paco likes anchovies.

Why you beefin' so hard with them?

I don't like the taste.

Yeah, but you like hate them.

It can't just be that.

I said I don't like the taste!

Not like there's some
secret reason I hate 'em...

PRIVATE SAWCHUCK:
Commander Future-Worm! We're surrounded!

(SCREAMING)

They taste bad.
End of story.

-Huh. Okay.
-Come on, let's order some more pizza!

(NARRATOR SPEAKS)

You're my first customer of the day.

It's me, Barl.

I love driving for my rideshare app.

Pretty soon I'll have enough
future-money to buy a car horn

that says Barl when you honk it.

-(HONKS HORN)
-Like that, but "Barl!"

-Get it? "Barl!"
-(HONKS HORN)

-Barl!
-(HORN HONKING)

It's a honk.

-(HORN HONKS)
-Barl!

Here we are!

Use my app anytime you need
a ride through time, Mister.

-(HORN HONKS)
-Barl!

-(HORN HONKS)
-Barl!

(GROWLS)

Oh, man.
This is taking forever.

I know, right?

Dude!
Where's our new pizza?

Please help me.
He took everything!

They took every delivery boy.
It's terrible! Oh!

-Uh, what'd they say?
-I don't know.

All the pizza delivery boys
have gone missing.

That stinks.

Hmm. I know!

This looks like a job for...

Robo-Carp!

Fetch us that pizza!

Yes, master...

Oh, hello, boys.

I've been craving a 'za myself.

Pick me up a kid-size,
no cheese, no sauce?

Affirmative!

Pizza acquired!

-BOTH: Yes!
-Pizza acquired! I did it!

I did it. I did it...

Aw, weak.

Well, boys, maybe it's time
to learn how to make your own pizza.

FUTURE-WORM: That pizza done yet?

Enjoy, fellas!

Whoo! Thanks, Dad!

You want something done right, you gotta
make Doug do it yourself. (CHUCKLES)

Finally, the perfect pizza.

Mmm...

-What the...
-Huh?

(BOTH SHOUTING)

DANNY: It's raining anchovies.

No!

Hang on...
Something familiar about all this...

(GASPS)

And here we are.

FUTURE-WORM: Welcome to Second Revenge!

You ready?
You know it.

Is some jerk being mean to you?

Get revenge with black magic!

Oh, yeah, this rings a bell...

For example, let's say your enemy
hates anchovies like I do!

I hate 'em!

Use a magic spell
to make it rain anchovies on his house!

(GASPS) Fyootch!

The Anchovy Monster is using
your own revenge tape against you!

Huh? Anchovy Monster?

Remember?
Like an hour ago?

I think you hurt his feelings.

Oh. Right.

But anchovies don't have feelings.

They don't even have brains, I think.

They definitely don't have amazing beards!

-(DOORBELL RINGS)
-(GASPS)

Our pizza?

Aw, man.

It's just a trail that leads
to a final revenge battle.

Uh, really, how do you know that?

Last but not least, create a trail
that leads to a final revenge battle.

Winner take all.
Loser take none.

Uh, how did you know?

Oh, I watch all your three second videos.

Three second Kung Fu.
Three second Re-Fi.

Three second brain surgery.
Three second divorce.

-You watched all those?
-Yeah, man.

And it only took, like, seconds.

Oh, cool.

Well, before we go...

I'm sick of this fish rain, so let me just
grab something and be right back.

Woah! Where'd you get that cool hat?

Honey, have you seen
my super-special-lucky- umbrella-rain hat?

It's not in the safe.

Uh, it was a gift.

Rad! Let's go!

(THUNDERCLAP)

MAN: Help us.
Oh, gosh!

(ALL CRYING FOR HELP)

Hey, you! Help me!

(ALL SHOUTING FOR HELP)

DANNY: It's full of pizza boys.

What kind of monster locks up
innocent pizza boys?

I'm beginning
to hate anchovies too, Fyootch.

You can hate 'em for this if you want.

But for me, it's just the taste, really.
Nothing but the taste.

(PEOPLE SHOUTING)

No! No! No!

I'm calling you out, Anchovy Monster!

This little revenge plot ends here!

It's dinner time.

Yeah. (SPITS)

Time to sleep with the humans.

Uh, let's go with,
"It's dinner time." I like that one.

Yeah, yours was better.

(STOMPING)

(ROARS)

That's it.

(PANTING)

NARRATOR: Spring-tail Smackdown!

(BOTH SCREAMING)

-Whoa!
-NARRATOR: Combo-Breaker!

(BOTH GRUNTING)

Paco?

As defender of all monsters,

please, I beg you!

Do not hurt this poor creature anymore.

(MUMBLING ANGRILY)

(GIBBERING)

He says he only seeks revenge

because you have broken his heart.

He loved you like a father.

Really?

(WHINES)

Aw, dude. Just apologize, Fyootch,
so we can get our pizza.

Fine.
I'm sorry...

Mmm...

...that you taste so gross, suckah!

(GRUNTING)

Fyootch!

No...

Why couldn't you just like the taste...

Danny, it wasn't just the taste.

Whoa, and astral projection
across spacetime of Neil deGrasse Tyson?

Years ago, in the future Mecha-Muck Wars,

Future Scientists
created a clone army of anchovies.

They ambushed Future-Worm's platoon,

three million light years
behind enemy lines.

MAN: Future-Worm! We're surrounded!

Future-Worm was already
strapped into a jumpship,

programmed to take off automatically...

Don't leave us, Sarge!

NEIL: He couldn't stop the countdown.

As his ship took off,
Future-Worm had to watch

as his friends were overrun
by Anchovy Clone troopers.

He took the million
light year flight back all alone.

(GASPS) That's incredible.

It is incredible

that we know the galaxy
was million light years away.

Henrietta Swan Leavitt's study
of Cepheid variable stars

paved the way for measuring
intergalactic distances with science.

Whoa, that's pretty cool.

But, uh, yeah, my friend
is totally getting digested right now,

so can you help me save him?

Uh-oh. (IMITATES STATIC)

My astral projection connection...

...is breaking up!

Tyson out!

I'm sorry, Fyootch, I had no idea.

(RUMBLING)

Fyootch! Yes!
You're alive!

Ugh! I'm covered in anchovies, Danny.

(GIBBERING)

He says the worm tastes disgusting.

Oh, I taste disgusting? (GRUNTS)

I've never been
so insulted in all my life!

How'd you like it if I spit you out
and called you disgusting!

I bet it'd make you mad, wouldn't it!

I bet you'd want, well, revenge,

'cause I guess you have feelings, too?

Yeah, wow,
I get it, I get it. I'm in a mirror.

(GROWLS)

Uh, look, um, I know you like
my three second tapes,

so how about this?

I'm really sorry I judged you.

(LAUGHS)

Three second apology
with my real signature this time.

(LAUGHS) Whoa!

Yep. (CHUCKLES)

Okay, pretty stellar
revenge plot, by the way. You rule.

(CAR HORN BLARES) Barl!

Barl!

Hey, Squirmy!
Hey, Science! It's you!

It's me, Barl.

Barl!

Oh, Barl.

Man, Barl, it's been a long time.

Whoo, cool spoilers.

What are those, twenties?

Yeah, man.
I bought 'em from a farmer.

Yeah, yeah, okay,
all right, well, one more. That's it.

(CAR HORN BLARES) Barl!

Whew, glad that's over.

And to think, it all started

because you don't like the taste.

Yep, told ya it's all about the taste.

I know, buddy.
I know.

NARRATOR: Future-Worm!

Dang! Why does fighting fizzle forbs

make me so hungry?

'Cause they're shaped
like chicken drumsticks.

Man, I hope Dad's cooking some...

(SNIFFS) Ugh, saltwater eel gumbo!

Ugh, I hate when he makes this!

Eels? Ugh.
That's disgusting!

I mean... (RETCHES)

They're like underwater worms!

We're practically brothers!

Smells great, right?

Thanks to a five-for-a-dollar special,

our friend the rutabaga
will be diving into this gumbo party!

(CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY) Uh, yeah, smells...

Uh, great!

Listen here,
you sick twisted... (MUFFLED SPEAKING)

Yup! Fyootch is so hungry

he's eating my hand, we're psyched!

Aw, thanks, boys.

It's my specialty and my favorite.

Doug's gumbo is yummy to the tummy.

Uh, what's the deal, D?

You think it's gross, too.

You shoulda let me
break Doug off somethin' proper!

Look Fyootch, you don't have to eat it

You're about as closely
related to eels as I am.

In fact, I'm closer
to an eel because we're both vertebrates.

What? (BLUBBERS)

Come on, eels, worms, pasta!

We all stick together, spine or no spine!

So why aren't you telling Doug what's up?

If I tell Dad the truth, he'll be crushed!

He loves that stank gumbo.

So you lie and suffer through it?

You need to get your truth on, son.

Feels awesome.

Watch, your eel theory
is wrong and stupid!

(GRUNTS)

Man that felt good!

Maybe you're right.
I wouldn't have to lie...

If it actually tasted good!

With the help
of these food goggles.

Goggles? Pfft.

What's wrong with
a good old fashioned future visor?

A visor can't do this!

(GRUNTING)

Whoa, all right, okay.

These goggles synthesize
a catabolic reaction,

breaking down
and rearranging molecular components

to make anything edible,
and taste like Captain Cakerz!

(YELLS)

Dang! You okay, Danny?

(RUMBLING)

I'm fine!
I'm just hungry.

Seems like
a lotta work just to avoid telling Doug

that his favorite food
tastes like dog butt.

-(GRUNTING)
-(GASPS)

Wow, seconds,
that's a first!

Very nice.

My culinary skills
must really be on point, right guys?

(GULPING AUDIBLY)

Don't push
your luck, Doug.

This gumbo
is so delicious,

I can't stop eating it!

Oh, dear.

Oh! My crock pot!

-What's going on?
-(RUMBLING)

Does this have
something to do with those goggles?

These? No!

They, uh, analyze
the nutritional content of food!

I definitely didn't
invent them to make the gumbo taste better

because, I mean, wow,
it's already so good!

Did you develop
that condition

that makes you
eat bicycles and light bulbs?

I heard a story about it on the radio

and it's actually
really remarkable that...

-(GASPS)
-(CRACKLING)

-Oh, my.
-(RUMBLING)

(MUNCHING)

Whoa, that
ain't good.

What's happening?

My mother gave us
that table!

Sorry. Gumbo really
lit the hunger fires!

We gotta get you
out of those goggles, kid.

Ah! Get 'em off me!

Get 'em off,
get 'em off, Future-Worm!

Dang! What're these,
screwed in?

(SCREAMING)

Argh! The goggles
over-metabolized my brain

-and it's fritzing out.
-(RUMBLING)

They're super stuck!

FUTURE-WORM: Oh, wow,
eating the couch, huh?

Yeah, whole springs
and all.

Oh, table, too.

The hunger's taking
over, man!

Whoa! Look out!

Ah! Don't eat
my golf clubs!

(GULPING AUDIBLY)

No!

That's scientifically
and biologically impressive,

but, no!

Tough break,
Mrs. D,

but that's what you get
for playing golf. (CHUCKLES)

Just don't
eat the TV, kid.

Mmm! TV! I want TV!

No!

(GRUNTING)
But I'm so hungry!

It looks like
he eats things you tell him not to eat.

With that logic,

please eat my mint condition
collectible Golden Guy action figures.

(GASPS) Oh!

(GULPS AUDIBLY)

No! No! It was
still in the box!

It was still in the box!
(SHRIEKING)

Sweetie!

(GROANS) We gotta
get you outta here!

(GRUNTS)
Hang tight,

I'm taking us to a place
where the food is so terrible,

you'll snap right outta
that hunger spell. Oh!

Eat away, kid.
Not much here.

The year, .

The Cactus Age.

Also, the Bionic Cow
Monster Age,

but whatever,
they don't run the place.

Ow! Ow! Ow!
This hurts! (MUNCHING)

Yeah, that's the point!

Stop eating!
You can do it!

(SIZZLING)
But I can't!

(UNEARTHLY MOOING)
Ow!

(ROARING)

-(GASPS)
-But I got this.

(RUMBLING)

Ow!

Come on,
just you and me! Cow-o y wormo!

Yeah, that sounds
cool, right?

(MUNCHING) Ow!

(NARRATOR READING)

(FUTURE-WORM YELLING)

(BLOWS)

Danny! Oh!

Fyootch!

(ROARING)

Aw man! If I only had
told Dad how much I hate eel gumbo,

I'd be onto dessert
by now...

Huh?

(GRUNTING)

Keep telling the truth.

Fyootch!
You're still alive!

All that junk you ate...
Stored up energy.

The truth feels awesome!

And maybe you're right
all that insincerity's bottled up in me,

and the truth
needs to come out!

I hate my dad's
saltwater eel gumbo!

Get your truth on, son!

(GRUNTING AND GROANING)

You like steppin
on things, huh?

Time to step on!

(ROARING)

(GRUNTS) Uppercut!

(CHUCKLES) That's right,
truth hurts, huh?

(YELLS)

(METALLIC THUD)

(DANNY YELLS)

You can do it!

Yeah! Put some
pow on that cow!

(GRUNTS)
Jumpkick Danny!

-(ROARING)
-This is gonna hurt you.

(GRUNTING)

(GROANING)

Yeah!

(GRUNTING)

(CHUCKLING)
Good job, kid. You did it.

You're right, Fyootch,
tellin' the truth kicks butt.

Yeah, told you.

Peace out, cow peeps!

Thank you, thank you.

Mom, Dad, I'm sorry
about all of this.

And Dad, I know you love
that gumbo and all but...

I gotta be honest,
I really just don't like the taste.

(CLEARING THROAT) And I find your use
of eel to be morally sick!

Oh, why didn't
you say so earlier?

Just because I like it
doesn't mean you have to.

New family rule.

I won't make it again!

Yes! Yes! Yes!

Um, hmm. I mean, aww!

NARRATOR: Future-Worm!

(ZOMBIES GROANING)

Come on, let's go. Hurry.

I can't believe
the whole crew has turned into zombies.

Don't you worry,
Mira Faye.

As long as you're
with your pal Steak Starbolt

and do exactly as I say,
you'll be safe.

Ugh. It's like a nightmare.

But I trust
and believe in you, Steak.

That's right,
I know what I'm doing!

Just follow my orders
and we'll be fine.

Oh!

Okay, press
the blue button.

Oh. What just happened?

Steak!

Now fight the zombies.

(SCREAMS)

You didn't follow
my orders!

Ugh. You set me up.

I'll get my revenge,
Steak Starbolt!

You'll be sorry.

And scene.

(BELL RINGING)

Hi, I'm superstar
action hero Steak Starbolt.

This is a public
service message about following orders.

Remember, kids,
do exactly what your parents say

or you might just be
dragged away by flesh eating zombies,

like foolish Mira Faye.

-(WHINES)
-Down. Down, boy.

-(GROWLING)
-The more you know...

(SCREAMING)

Hi, I'm Steak Starbolt.

This is a public
service announcement

about keeping
dangerous animals on leashes.

Chumby Chubos!
There's my boy!

I love you so much.

See, look how safe this is.

Come on
Chumby Chubos... Come on.

Come on, now.
Come on! Come on!

You're making me
look bad here.

Uh, this is live here,
come on, we talked about this.

Come on. Oh.

-(RUMBLING)
-Oh! Oh! (SCREAMING)

Ooh! Ooh!

NARRATOR: The Steak Starbolt
Halloween Special

will be right back after
these stupid messages.

(GRUNTING) Oh!

Come on!

I'm such a chump.

There's got to be
an easier way.

ANNOUNCER: Tired of hammering
your own nails like a chump?

Yes. This hammer
is no good.

-(ROARING)
-Whoa!

Whoa! What?

Help! Can you
hear me?

Someone help me!

I'm trapped!
I'm trapped in the TV!

This is all real!
It's all real!

No, that hammer
is no good...

Well it looks
pretty good to me.

-(GRUNTING)
-(HAMMER SQUEAKING)

I did it! Ha-ha!

(HISSING)

(EXCLAIMING)

(GASPING)

(CACKLING)

(GRUNTS) Ha-ha!

Mira Faye?

I told you I'd have
my revenge on you, Steak.

(CHOKING)

Mira Faye.

(CACKLING)

True terror lies
in the unknown.

Never sure if you're alive,
trapped in a dream,

or worse yet...
Lost in a nightmare!

(CACKLING)

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)