01x11 - The Time Travelers Council/Future Danny and the Scourge of the Plierates/Bug's Very Important Job

[bunniefuu]

NARRATOR: One boy...

Yeah!

NARRATOR: One worm.

You know it.

(GROANS)

(BEEPS)

NARRATOR: These are their adventures.

(ROARS)

(WHOOPING)

Sweet!

(BOTH LAUGHING)

Whoo!

All right, yeah.
Pretty fun. Future-Worm.

Why on Earth did you
hook the dishwasher up to the ocean?

It's not my fault!

I love decapod
crustaceans, but...

Ow! Not in the house!

You don't understand.

I was just rerouting
some pipes under the house.

It's the city's fault
one leads to the ocean.

You should really
be thanking him.

Sittin' on
a seafood gold mine.

Yeah! This is fresh Uni.

You know what sushi places
charge for this?

Danny, if you can't take responsibility
for what you did,

then you can go
straight to your room!

-What?
-And until sunset tomorrow,

no TV...

-Oh, no!
-...no video games...

Ahh!

...and no more Captain Cakerz

No!

Locking me in a cage,
forcing me to starve!

-(STOMACH GROANS)
-This is inhumane, man!

(GRUNTS) Welcome to prison life, D.

(GRUNTING)

Nothing to do but ride it out

-and get ripped.
-What?

I don't wanna get ripped.
I wanna eat cereal and watch TV!

-(LAUGHS)
-(SIGHS) Lame.

But hey, what good's
a Time Machine Lunch Box

if you can't use it to skip
being grounded, right? Come on!

Skipping punishment
is way better

than going back
to fix your mistakes.

-Let's do it!
-Yeah!

-Huh! Where are we?
-Aw, crud.

Somehow we ended up
at the headquarters

of the Time Travel Council.

(BELLS TOLLING)

Sweet! I wanna meet
more time travelers, man!

(BOTH SCREAMING)

Not like this, D.

They're the Supreme Court
of Time Crimes

and my record isn't
exactly... clean.

Council is now
in session!

FUTURE-WORM: That is
Sandrew Chronon.

Grouchy Time Wizard
who runs the show.

Please, help me!

There's been
a terrible misunderstanding.

They think I'm a time traveler

just because
I have a clock face.

Mr. Clock Face,
for the last time, sit down!

(EXCLAIMS) Dude's fired up.
Are we in trouble?

Don't know. You better let me
do all the lyin'.

(CHUCKLES) I mean,
you know, talking.

Don't worry, I know
what I'm doing here.

(CLEARS THROAT)
Ladies and gentlemen of the Council...

it was Barl!
It was all Barl, you hear me!

He masterminded
the whole operation, whatever it was.

'Kay.

The Barl defense
won't help you this time.

You're being charged
with a first degree time violation!

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Roll your scroll, homie.
Fyootch is innocent.

Yeah, Amelia Earhart.
Go hop in your plane again and disappear.

Not him.
You, Danny Douglas.

Me? I didn't do anything!

You're violating
my habeas corpus

and you don't even
quid pro know me!

Ipso facto!
This whole thing is whack, yo!

(COUNCIL MEMBERS GASP)

You just gotta accept
the consequences, Danny.

Owning up is part
of grown-ing up!

Indeed, Mr. Douglas.

And the punishment
for your crime is...

Wait! I kidnapped Danny

and brainwashed him
to do the whole temporal,

lateral... Crime skip thing.

(MUMBLING)

I should've known.

The boy's punishment
would have been mild.

But given the worm's record,

he's done for.

Barl!

The sentence is...

Wow! It's... Wow, yeah.

I can't even... You know? Oof.

Wow-wow-wow.

Stop saying wow
and just read the dang thing!

The punishment is... (GARGLING)

(COUGHING)

Something caught in my pipe.
I need my inhaler.

(GROANS) Give me that.

De-evolution.
You'll be turned back into

a beardless, abless, mouthless...

No!

(SIGHS) Worm.

You can't do that!

Of course I can't.

That's what the giant
de-evolution ray g*n is for.

(CUCKOO CHIMES)

(SCREAMING)

Why did you take
the rap for me, Fyootch?

It's my fault, D,
I shoulda warned you about Time Crimes,

but also,
anarchy rules!

(SCREAMING)

Fyootch! No!

Actually, I think... I think I'm okay.

"Actually," the de-evolution
is a gradual process

that allows ample time
to regret your horrific crime.

Dang.

There's gotta be a way
to skip out on this punishment.

-Council adjourned.
-Wait!

Aren't you forgetting about... the thing?

-What thing?
-Mm-hmm.

That rule that would,
you know, undo all this.

The... (MUMBLES) defense?

-Did he say Mutu Mutu?
-(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)

Blast, stupid Mutu Mutu!

Yeah, that!

I'm callin' Mutu Mutu on you suckas!

(ALL MURMURING)

Hey, whoa, wait!

Why's everybody
getting all wound up? Get it?

Clocks? Gears? Wind?

No? Anyway, what's Mutu Mutu?

By defeating seven
of the council members

in competitive trials,

a champion may free
a condemned criminal.

Sweet! I mean...
Duh, Clock Face!

But if you fail,
you must spend eternity

in a timeless limbo. (CACKLES)

Don't do it, Danny. It's too risky.

Your cape!
It's already happening.

There's no way
I'm losing you, man.

Let's moo-shoo, moo-fu it up!

NARRATOR: Mutu Mutu Challenge!

Round one.

(GRUNTING)

I'm out of arrows.
We're done for, man.

You'll never win
seven matches, Daniel.

Yeah? Well, you'll never not be...

Dang! I'm already
losing my sick comebacks.

But you still got your abs.

(GRUNTS)

(GRUNTS)

Foolio! Ba-bam!

NARRATOR: Round two.

FUTURE-WORM: You got this, D.

(GRUNTS)

Oh, well, tried your best.

Yeah! Never doubted you for a second.

NARRATOR: Round three.

(YELLING)

Aw, Science.
You know I'd never use

karate powers on you!
I surrender.

This is a piece of cake.
We're killin' it, Fyootch!

(SCREAMS) My symbol of male dominance!

NARRATOR: Round four.

(GRUNTING)

-Oh, come on!
-(HUMMING)

NARRATOR: Round five.

What's your deal?

(CACKLING)

(SCREAMS) I hate monkeys!

NARRATOR: Round six.

-(GRUNTS)
-(TIRES SCREECH)

(PHONE RINGS)

-Hello?
-Yo, it's tea time, you twit.

Crackers! You're right.

(SCREAMS)

Yeah!

Ha! Kiss these abs, sucka!

What! Not my titanium abs!

I earned those with crunches
and future-science!

-Fyootch!
-(GROANING)

NARRATOR: Round seven.

(PLAYING GUITAR RIFF)

-(DISTORTION PLAYS)
-(SCREAMS)

(PLAYING GUITAR RIFF)

We're on a roll, man!
One more win. You ready for this?

Whatever.

Oh, no! Your thirst
for adventure, it's gone!

I guess.

NARRATOR: Round eight.

Danny, I challenge you to a game...

of basketball!

Oh, yeah! You done goofed,
old man. I rule at hoops.

Listen, I'm not pitching this because

I want to go home
to my wife and watches,

but, you know,
since I'm not really a basketball player

or a time traveler...

What time is it?

Ah! Oh, gosh,
let me see.

Does anyone have a mirror?
Does anyone have a mirror?

It's game time, son!

It's uh... (GROANS)
This is just a bad dream.

This is just a bad dream.

(YELLS)

Uh-oh!

(GRUNTING)

(BUZZER RINGS)

Boom-shakalaka!

Danny, what happened?
I can't see. Did you win?

I'm sorry, Fyootch.
If I lose the next one, we're done.

This is it.

The final showdown!

That's it.
You're going down, Amelia Earhart.

(GRUNTING)

(THUNDER CRACKS)

(CACKLES)

You bureaucratic buzz-K*llers
crossed the line.

Turning Fyootch back into a regular worm
'cause I skipped ahead a day?

So, it was you
who skipped ahead!

No, it... wasn't me.

Oh, no, you don't!

(DANNY YELLS)

Danny, as long as
I still have a mouth,

I just wanna say, I love...

(YELLS) No!

(GRUNTS)

(SOBBING) This is all my fault.

I should've just apologized
to Mom and Dad

and this never would've happened.

I'd do anything
for a second chance.

You want a second chance?

Then defeat me.

(SHOUTS)

(SCREAMING)

Yes! We won!

NARRATOR: Danny wins!

Fire the un-de-evolution ray.

(CUCKOO CHIMES)

Fyootch!

(SCREAMS) Where am I?

You fought bravely, son.

But your jump sh*t is pathetic!

Meeting adjourned.

-Proud of you, kid.
-Thanks, Fyootch.

But we've got some
unfinished business.

Mom? Dad?

I'm,...

I'm sorry about
the whole ocean thing.

It's my fault.

Sweetie. We know
you didn't mean any harm.

We were just frustrated

you wouldn't take
responsibility for it.

Forget about the dishwasher disaster.

And celebrate with a nice
bowl of Captain Cakerz.

(SCREAMING)

NARRATOR: Future-Worm!

NARRATOR: Previously on Future-Danny...

Any last words?

As a matter of fact, I do.

ROBO-CARP: Robo-Carp .

-(ALL GASP)
-Beautiful.

A fish made out
of shimmer stone that shines like a pearl.

ROBO-CARP: (CHUCKLES)
How kind of you to notice.

Oh, brother.

-So shiny.
-(GROUND RUMBLING)

(SCREAMING)

(LAUGHS)

Peace out, suckas.

(HORN HONKING)

Whoo-hoo!

-(WOMAN SCREAMING)
-(GASPS)

Oh, a beautiful maiden in distress.

Let us proceed.

(WOMAN WHIMPERING)

I'm here to rescue you and... Yowzah!

You're even prettier up close.

Oh. (GIGGLES)

And with this sacrifice,

we shall gain unlimited power.

(ALL GASP)

After them, my plierate children!

(GIBBERING)

To their ship.

(GROWLS)

Well, you're more
than a pretty face, my dear.

You've got moxie!

Future-karate!

Oh. (GIGGLES)

-Halt!
-(GASPS)

There is no escape now.

No human hands can pilot
our ship's controls.

Pfft! Like that was
ever the plan.

Stay close. This electro-magnet's

about to get jacked up.

(ELECTRO-MAGNET BUZZING)

(PLIERATES SCREAM)

(SHIP POWERING UP)

(GUFFAWS)

You got future-science, son.

Past, present, or future,

the next time you touch pliers,

it will be your last!

Plierate curse!

Oh, no! Regular-Danny.

That boy's handy.

He loves to pick up
a pair of pliers.

(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)

Perhaps someday, my dear,

but not today.

Aw.

Adieu.

Oh, spicy.

(SOBBING)

NARRATOR: Next time
on Future-Danny...

(YELLS)

(GRUNTING)

NARRATOR: Future-Danny!

-(LINE RINGING)
-What's up, Bug?

Hey, D. It's that time again!

You ready for your eyeballs
to get dominated

by the new Mad Nunchukery?

You know it. I'm on my way.

Ya-yeah!

(ACTION MUSIC PLAYING)

Tidying up now. See you soon.

Dang, boy,
that was quick!

Don't let Danny touch the pliers!

(YELLS)

Who are you?
And what've you done with Danny?

Are you some kinda Time-Hobo

who stole his clothes and ate him?

Time-Hobos don't eat people!
Only other Time-Hobos.

I am Danny, Future-Danny.

Regular-Danny is coming
to watch that film.

When he does, he'll try to adjust that.

And?

If he touches those pliers,

he shall suffer terrible consequences.

Well, we'll see what
the real Danny has to say about this.

No! You mustn't tell him
of my interference!

Time travel law.

I can't be hauled in front
of the Time Travelers Council again.

Future-Danny!

You've been found guilty
of first degree time crimes.

Do you have any last words?

Just a few from my lawyer.

ROBO-CARP: Robo-Carp .

I request a mistrial.

No!

Can we have a five-minute recess?

No!

Is a settlement off the table?

No... Yes.

My client is innocent.

He's dropped the moon into the sun!

Oh, wow. That's pretty bad.

-ROBO-CARP: Objection.
-Overruled!

The defense rests.

Actually, just kidding.

-SANDREW: What?
-I request a mistrial.

Whoo-hoo!

Why don't you
just take the pliers?

No Danny can touch them.

Plier-pirate magic! Very dangerous.

If you are "Future-Danny," prove it.

If I weren't him,

how would I know
about the infamous head-swap incident?

Or is that next week?

Real Danny would take me to next week

so we could
head-swap it up.

You and I both know he would not.

Touche.

(SNIFFS) You do look like him.

(GROANS AND GRUNTS)

A melty-earwax version, anyway.

I'm this close to being convinced.

I'll keep Danny away from the pliers

if you grant me one wish.

Wish? I'm not some blasted genie!

Oh, fine! What do you want?

Since you're messin'
with Madison Nunchucks day,

which, as you should know,

is a sacred Bug-Danny tradition,

you gotta ramp it up.

I wanna meet Madison.

(GRUMBLES)

She's making a movie now.

(GASPS) What!

They're doing a sequel to Nunchuks ?

Dude, get me there.
Get me there!

It's quite some distance.

But, if you promise
to keep him away from the pliers...

-Yeah, yeah!
-Not supposed to do this, but...

Come on. In and out, okay?

There's hardly any time.

In and out.

-(MAN SCREAMS)
-(GRUNTING)

You cut when I say cut!

Oh, yeah! Madison, go!

-(GRUNTS)
-(SCREAMS)

-(ALARM BLARING)
-Take five! Take five!

And it's four parts chai
in my soy chai tea latte!

-Not three!
-(MAN GROANS)

(GRUNTS)

There. You saw her.

-Shall we go?
-Oh, no.

I want the full
meet-n-greetment treatment.

(GROANS)

Ahem.

Might I trouble you for...

-(GROWLS)
-(YELPS)

Mercy! Regular-Danny
must almost be there.

Hey, Madison.
Come show your biggest fan some love.

That's not my biggest fan.

This is.

(GASPS)

(FUTURE-DANNY GRUNTING)

FUTURE-DANNY: Go easy.
I got bursitis in that elbow.

It's like having my own
personal Mad Nunchukery!

Co-starring...

What'd you do to me?

Would anything help with the pain?

Ice? Heat? Captain Cakerz?

Just hold up your end of the bargain.

Gracias, Bug.

See you in the future.

Wait a second.

(GASPS)

(YELLS AND GRUNTS)

What are you doing?

You thought you had it all figured out.

It was perfect!

Except it wasn't,

'cause you forgot one little detail...

Regular-Danny gives thumbs up
with his right hand!

(YELLS)

(GRUNTS)

Oh! (GRUNTS) Hey...

Now let's see what really happens

when you touch these pliers, liar!

(STRAINING) Let me explain.

(GRUNTS)

Please listen.

I lost my right hand a decade ago.

This one is...

Whoa!

But even the most advanced
future-technology

can't replicate a legit thumbs up.

I had to switch hands.

You see, I'm simply

rather protective of myself.

I must shield Danny from
the dark evils of the universe

which pursue him relentlessly.

Why don't you pick on a me
who can swing an energy sword?

(YELLS)

(ENERGY SWORD SWISHING)

(FUTURE-DANNY SCREAMS)

So he can stay the cheerful lad
we know and love.

Regular-Danny can never learn of this.

I'm sorry I was impatient today.

You're a great friend
to Regular-Danny, young lady.

And, from this day forward, to me, too.

Okay. I got your back,
Future-Danny.

-Ya-yay.
-Ya-yay.

Hey!

Whoa!

Huh. Who dropped pliers?

(YELLS) No!

Aw, it's cool.

Nothing "Plier Picker-Upper Man"
can't deal with.

Yep, that's my new nickname.

(SCREAMING)

(YELLS) No!

Whoa. Was that Future-Danny?

(STAMMERS) Who, him? No.

Dude's always getting sucked
out of roofs by tractor beams.

Did he want anything?

(STAMMERS) He said
to give you this.

(COOING)

Good old Future-D!

Always comin' correct with the hugs.

Thanks, Bug.

Now, let's get down
with the Mad Nunchukery, son!

Ya-yay.

NARRATOR: Future-Worm!

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)