01x12 - Bug vs. the Babysitter/Doug Race: 3939/The Panama Bananama

[bunniefuu]

-NARRATOR: One boy...
-Yeah!

NARRATOR: One worm.

You know it.

NARRATOR: These are
their adventures.

(ROARS)

(WHOOPING)

Sweet!

-NARRATOR: Future-Worm!
-(BOTH LAUGHING)

-(HORN HONKING)
-(TIRES SCREECHING)

Whoo! Bug's here!

(GASPS) Bug?
Bug's coming over tonight?

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

Yeah!

(CHUCKLES) Yes, silly.
Did you forget?

Bug's staying here
while we go out with her parents.

Bug is staying here...

unsupervised?

Don't worry, Doug,
I'll keep an eye on her.

I'm only gonna encourage her
tendencies for destruction

and delinquency anyways,
so maybe ya should worry.

I don't know, up to you.
Kid's got spirit!

(BELCHES)

Slam!
Smash!

-Good to see you!
-(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)

Hey, Bug! What's up?

"What's up? What's up?"

I get an entire night of doing
whatever I want with nobody to stop me!

Whoo!

Hmm...

What should I destroy first?

(LAUGHING NERVOUSLY)
She's just adorable.

Um...

(COUGHS) I'm not feeling well.

I should stay home,

or better yet,
we should call off the entire evening!

(ALL LAUGHING)

We're aware that Bug leaves a path
of destruction wherever she goes.

(CHUCKLES) Yeah, you know what they say,
like fathers like daughter!

(ALL LAUGHING)

So we hired a babysitter.

A babysitter?

-What?
-Why?

No! You can't do this to me!

Sitters are evil tyrants
out to destroy my fun,

and replace it with boredom!

-(CACKLING)
-(SCREAMS)

Death to fun!

Long live boredom!

(CACKLING)

No!

Now, now, Bug.

Behave for Zoe,
and try to make sure

the walls are still standing
when the Douglas' get back tonight.

-You have home owner's insurance, right?
-(WHIMPERING)

Aw, man! Fine!

Zoe should be here shortly.

Now...

You two ready
for a hardcore night of mayhem?

-Yes!
-Make room for me.

-Mayhem?
-(WHOOPING AND CHEERING)

We're not taking the monster truck,
are we?

How about I drive?

Not on your life, mister!

We're truckin' it!

-Whoo-hoo!
-(BOTH LAUGHING)

An entire night of doing whatever I want!

-Get up on in there.
-Let's get crazy!

-Oh, boy.
-(ENGINE STARTS)

Have fun, guys!

(DOUG SCREAMING)

So, what do you wanna do?

First, we booby-trap
this boob babysitter so hard,

she runs away screaming, "Ahhh!"

Then...

Sweet freedom.

Hmm.
Take down authority, then get crazy.

Yeah, I'm in.

(BOTH LAUGHING)

(CAMERA CLICKS)

-(LAUGHS)
-I don't know, guys.

Shouldn't we give Zoe a chance?

I mean, what if she's actually cool?

Ah, good ol' Danny,
always seeing the best in people.

-It's just some harmless pranks, man.
-Yeah.

You with us or against us?

Harmless prank...

Oh, I got it.

I'm in!
This is gonna be hilarious!

Check it out!

-Time disk!
-(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

-Hey, guys! I'm Zoe.
-Think fast!

How's it...

-(BOTH SCREAMING)
-Whoa!

Uh, what did you do, dude?

I was just trying
to send her to the future.

-(CHUCKLES)
-Harsh prank, man.

What? (SIGHS)

The time disk was supposed to send

all of her to the future,
not just her head!

FUTURE-WORM: Not seeing any difference.

I gotta fix this!

-(STATIC BUZZING)
-(GRUNTING)

Almost got it...

-Don't mess up!
-(BEEPS)

(SCREECHES)

(ALL SCREAMING)

-(SCREECHES)
-(ALL SCREAMING)

-(SCREECHES)
-(ALL SCREAMING)

(BUG LAUGHS)

-This is terrible!
-This is awesome!

Gotta agree with Danny on this one.

-(SCREECHES)
-(BUG LAUGHING)

(GROANS) Judging from the ugly
and, uh, squirmy state of her face...

(LAUGHING)

...I'd guess Zoe's head
is stuck somewhere in ,

a time period inhabited
by Calambrians, aka...

Land squid!

Oh, man, the only way
to zap her head back

is to go there
and track it down ourselves.

Are you guys crazy?

Just leave it!
It's a total improvement!

Besides, now we can do whatever we want!

Oh, man!

My Dad's Folk Singers of the ' s
Commemorative Plates Collection!

(SCREECHES)

(GRUNTS)

(SCREECHING)

When our parents get back,
we'll be grounded for life!

Fine!

We'll put her back.

We gotta hurry...

Bug, hang here and make sure that
Squid-Face thing doesn't wreck my house!

You want me to babysit?

That goes against
everything I stand for!

Just deal with it, Bug.

(SCREECHES)

Oh, come on, I wanted to break that.

(BOTH GRUNTING)

(SNIFFING) Yikes!

Place smells like -day old tuna.

(SNIFFING) Nope, that's me.

Where is that head at?

(BEEPING)

Zoe!

Good thing you got a head start, ho-ho.

-Yeah, we're headed in your direction.
-(BOTH LAUGHING)

(GRUNTS)

Whoa! Squid dodgeball!
Could we get in on this?

Okay, Squid-Face, listen up!

I've got big plans for tonight.

So keep your butt on that couch,

till Danny and Fyootch get back.

-(SLURPS)
-Ugh!

Aw, heck no!

(SCREECHES)

Ooh, get back here,
you stinky squid-squirt!

-(ALARM BLARING)
-Ahhh!

Ugh!

-Oh, man.
-(FAN WHIRRING)

(GROANING)

(SCREECHES)

(CAMERA CLICKING)

No!

Wait, wait, wait, I got another one.

-We're making real headway!
-(LAUGHING)

Yeah. You're on a roll, Fyootch.

ZOE: Hey, guys.

Over here.

-It's Zoe!
-Yo, heads up, Zoe.

We're looking for ya. (LAUGHING)

Check me out.

(BOTH SCREAMING)

-I know. Ha. Cool, right?
-What?

You aren't, like, mad?

You kidding me?
I show up for a yawn-fest babysitting gig,

and end up in heck-knows-where
with a tight squid body.

This is sick!

Oh, in that case, sweet.

So, uh,
we should probably get back to Bug.

Come and get it, Squid-Face.

-(SCREECHING)
-(LAUGHING)

(GRUNTS) Gotcha!

Oh, it's quiet time.

So go to sleep!

(SCREECHES)

(WHINING)

Now that that's taken care of,

it's time for
a no-holds-barred Bug-rage-a-thon!

(CELL PHONE RINGING)

(BEEPS)

-What's up?
-Uh, yeah...

Good news is, we found Zoe.

Uh, bad news is,

she's got a squid-body,
and wants to hang out here and try it out.

(SQUID-FACE WHINING)

-Don't make me come down there!
-(WHIMPERS)

Uh, we could always
head back to earlier...

Nope, nope, nope...

I'm good.
Get your squid on, take your time.

Whoo-hoo!

We're good to go, guys!

Let's hang out with,
uh, some squid-peeps.

-Whoo-hoo! Ha-ha!
-Let's do it!

(BEEPS)

(SQUID-FACE SCREECHING)

(GROANS)

How am I supposed to focus
with all this racket!

Yo, Squid-Face!

It's quiet time.

So quit bein' a complainy-pants and...

(WHINING)

(WHIMPERS)

Aw, man...

You're all bored and sad, huh?

Kind of reminds me of when
my babysitters would make me sit and...

(GASPS)

Oh, no!
I've become that which I hate most!

I'm an evil babysitter!

Okay, Squid-Face.

I'm sacrificing my freedom for this,

but I'm babysitting you right!

Are you ready
for some quality Bug time?

(WARBLING)

Let's babysit!

(SINGING We can work in the dark

And watch the clock tick away

Or we can walk in the park

And reach for clouds all day

Best friends forever

Chasing the sky
and feeling free

We can help one another
you and me

And together we'll be

(LAUGHING)

(BELL RINGING)

DANNY: Hey! Where y'all goin'?

Yeah! Don't just quit
because I'm ahead! Get it?

'Cause I'm winning
and, you know, the head thing?

-(CHUCKLES)
-Yeah, nice.

(EXCLAIMING)

Uh-oh. Dude's got "authority figure"
written all over him.

You're right, Fyootch.

I'd know that
disapproving tone anywhere...

It's a ticked-off teacher!

(SPEAKING IN ALIEN LANGUAGE)

Big talk coming from a sea spider.

School's out, sucker!

(SCREECHES)

(LAUGHS) Look at him.

(ALL LAUGHING)

(ROARS)

Uh, that ain't good.

-(SCREECHES)
-(ALL SCREAMING)

-Now, let's bounce.
-(BEEPS)

(ALL SCREAMING)

(GROANS)

"After the piston hits
the bottom of its stroke,

"the exhaust valve opens,
and the exhaust exits

"the cylinder through the tailpipe."

-Bye-bye, exhaust!
-(SNORING)

(ALL SCREAMING)

(GASPS)

(WAILING)

Oh, come on, guys!
I just got her to sleep.

Now it's noisy again!

I got this!

-Thanks, Danny!
-(GASPS)

(WAILING)

Ugh! Still noisy.

(BEEPING)

Yes.

There! She's back in Calambria,

and now none of us
will get in trouble!

Think again, dude.

I tried keeping Squid-Face
from wrecking everything,

but she was unstoppable!

(SIGHS) I had no idea
babysitting was so tough.

Yeah, taking care of a kid
is a ton of work.

It's why we get paid, girl!

I got you.

I guess I should've
given you a chance, Zoe.

Sorry we pranked you.

Don't be.
Tonight was amazing!

I mean,
transporting my head to Calambria?

Best prank ever!

How do you work these things, anyway?

Oh, you just toss 'em
at whatever you wanna transport.

-But they're kind of janky though.
-Like this?

ALL: Whoa!

Uh-oh.

Well, that was
enough adventure to last me...

-(ALL GASPING)
-Oops!

(CAR ALARM BLARING)

(ALL LAUGHING)

NARRATOR: Future-Worm!

-(ENGINES REVVING)
-(SQUEAKING)

(ENGINE POWERING UP)

DOUG: Help! Help me!

(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) Hiya, mister.

So, my head got swapped
with your door,

because my son zapped
me and my wife

with a head-swap invention and...

(BEEPING)

(ENGINES REVVING)

(DOUG SCREAMING)

(SCREAMING CONTINUES)

(SCREAMING IN SLOW-MOTION)

-(ENGINE REVVING)
-TAKESHI: Thrash Cutthroat!

I'd recognize that body any day.

MEGAN: Body, yes...

Head, not so much.

-Hi, honey!
-Megan!

You swapped heads
with a biker hunk?

How come I'm a door?

I don't know!

How are you breathing
without lungs?

Just sit tight,
and don't get dented!

-(GRUNTING)
-Ow, my nose!

Ow, my mouth!

Ow, my face!

Hmm.

Now that I have a peaceful moment
to think about it,

this head-swap thing
is kind of your fault.

My fault?

Lamp post!

Ooh, thanks, honey.

All I'm saying is,
Danny's head-swappy,

-goofball, inventor side comes from you!
-(GASPS)

(MEGAN SCREAMING)

(THUDDING)

I'm not a goofball inventor!

-You sort of are!
-I'm not!

Kind of scatterbrained though!

-I'm not!
-Not in a bad way!

(YELPS)

(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)

That was my fault.
I distracted her.

Oh, Doug,
why do you have to be such a bully?

You're not a bully.

You're actually kind of wimpy,

but you're my wimp.

Oh, I love you,
my goofball inventor.

I'm kissing a door.
It's weird.

Sorry, I know.
I'm sorry, so sorry.

(GRUNTS)

DOUG: Get him, honey!

-Wait, I can't see!
-(GRUNTING)

What's happening up there?
Did we win?

(GROANS)

(SCREAMING)

(CAMERAS CLICKING)

(CHEERING)

(BELL DINGING)

-Honey, look out!
-(EXCLAIMS)

(YELLING)

(BOARD CHIMING)

Nice one, partner.

DOUG: Well, time to go home,

and have Danny
swap our heads back where they belong.

I don't know, sweetie.

I could get used to this.

(PAN SIZZLING)

Dang, Thrash! Your blueberry pancakes
are the pan-cakiest!

-Thanks. I could get used to this.
-(GULPS)

(CAR ALARM BLARING)

-(ALL LAUGHING)
-Fyootch!

(MUTTERING IN CONFUSION)

Look at this one!

FUTURE-WORM: Right.
Old Man Orangutan.

-Cool.
-No, man, Amazing Ape. Remember?

Yes, but when I first met him

he was enslaved by a circus

and went by a different name.

RINGMASTER: Accounting Ape!

These funds were meant
for the grantor-retained annuity trust,

you simian half-wit!

Get it right! (GASPS)

You there!
Unhand that poor, genius ape!

(WHIMPERING)

Uh, what kind of "genius"
only talks in grunts?

(GRUNTING)

Look out, Fyootch!

Whoa, what's this?
Some kind of map?

Oh, that?

It just leads to
the Panama Bananama Treasure.

-Treasure?
-Bananama?

Amazing Ape and I found the other half
of that map years ago.

But he kept it,
and by the time I found this half,

we'd already gone
our separate ways.

You see, he wanted
the TGI Falafel...

Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay.

So, if I took this half back in time,

I could team up with you and Amazing Ape
for an awesome treasure hunt?

I suppose.

Except,
I wasn't much of a team player...

Sweet! Me and Fyootch are gonna
go hunt treas' with your past-self.

-BRB, Aunt Bits!
-Yeah!

Cool! I like treasure.

Don't know about
the math baboon, though...

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

I hate to cut and run, Frau Brau,

but Amazing Ape's
topographical triangulations

traced the treasure to
this treacherous turf, so ta-ta!

You still only have half the map, Bitsy!

We will find the other half first,
und we will...

Wah-wah-wah.
Well, good luck with that.

(GRUNTING)

-We need the other half of that map!
-(GRUNTS)

(BOTH GASPING)

Looking for this?

The other half! Who are you?
Where did you get this?

I got it from you in the future!

Jumpin' Jehoshaphat!

I'm your Great Nephew, Danny,

-and this is my best bud, Future-Worm!
-Yep.

Great Gout!

-Cool!
-Yeah, seen it before.

This is the ticket
to tracking down the treasure!

Let's roll, Amazing Ape.
See ya, kid!

Tell myself, I said hi.

Wait!
I thought we'd search for it together!

A little team-up action,
since you're all peppy pants in the past?

Sorry, but we don't need a little kid,
and whatever you are,

throwing hokum in our juju.

What! Well, we don't need you,

and your grunt monkey doin', whatever,
you know, your stuff is!

(SCREECHES)

You're blowin' it.
Why are you throwing hokum around?

I don't even know what that is!

Me either!

But you must be flip-flapping it

all over the place
to get her all spiced up about it.

Fine, fine,
I'll straighten this out.

Give me the map!

(BOTH GRUNTING)

Let go!

This calls for...

Robo-Carp!

Robo-Carp, break up that fight!

Silencing the v*olence!

Silencing the v*olence!

-(GRUNTS)
-(GROANING)

Weak.

I got it!

(SCREAMING)

(SINGING)
The ladies love Lucky Lindy 'cause...

Ahhh! Pelican!

(SNAKES HISSING)

Ha! Fate has smiled upon us.

The treasure will be ours!

Ah, perfect! This is my punishment

for permitting a pushy,
pre-teen pipsqueak

and his pink, provocateur pal

to propel a parcel into the past!

(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)

Ugh!
What's mush-mouth mewling about?

Look! The map is b*rned
onto Fyootch's tongue!

(GASPS) The map!

(SIGHS) Okay, trouble twins,

that torched tongue's
your ticket to tagging along.

(EXCLAIMS)

The booty's buried behind a...
ba... ba... ba...

Argh! Temple.

Well, they can't all be winners.
Let's move!

Boom!
Temple at twelve o'clock. (LAUGHING)

We're owning this team up!

(SPEAKING GIBBERISH) Ow!

-Let's go!
-Not so fast!

-Throw them into the quicksand.
-(FUTURE-WORM GRUNTING)

Let me go!

(ALL GRUNTING)

I've waited a long time
to watch you perish, Bitsy!

I'm sinking, I think.

Uh, really slowly.

(DANNY GROANING)

But this is kind of boring,
so I'm gonna go find the treasure!

Why's she hate you so much, anyway?

(SCOFFS) I'm the one
who sh*t her eyebrow off.

So, any swift solutions
to save us from sinking in sand?

Uh, Fyootch, grab onto that branch.

(MUFFLED) No! No way, man.

But you can pull us all out!

My tongue is k*lling me!

But, Fyootch!

No way! (CONTINUES IN GIBBERISH)

(GRUNTING)

Yeah, that's it, Fyootch.

You're doin' it!

(GRUNTING)

I was wrong about you, boys.

You two tots
tout a true talent for team-ups!

(GRUNTING)

(MUFFLED) You know it.

He said... (SPITS) "You know it!"

ALL: Let's do this!

(GRUNTING)

(NARRATOR READING)

-(GRUNTING)
-You're not so bad yourself.

There's typically a test or a trial
to take the treasure.

You have failed the trial!

Ha! You missed!

(SCREAMS)

(SINGING)
The ladies love Lucky Lindy...

-(GRUNTS)
-(YELLING) Oh, seriously?

Ooh, harsh, man.

Don't worry. We got this!

Okay, dude. Hit us with a trial!

You must do my taxes!

Taxes? Argh.

-We don't got this.
-Uh-uh-uh.

(GRUNTS)

Mortgage interest is deductible?

-(GRUNTING)
-(DINGS)

No, no dependents.

You have...

-(STONES CREAKING)
-(CHAINS RATTLING)

Oh, no!

Passed the trial! (LAUGHS)

(ALL WHOOPING)

We're rich!

Actually, it's not worth a dime.

-What?
-(MUFFLED) Oh, man.

But you can use it to call any banana
anywhere, past, present, or future!

Connect me to, Frau Brau!

-(PHONE RINGING)
-(GROANING)

Guten Tag.

Hello, Frau.

This is your brow calling.

I wasn't sh*t off,
I've been hiding from yo face, sucker!

(SCREAMING)

-(ALL LAUGHING)
-Oh, good one, kid!

(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)

-(ALL LAUGHING)
-It's funny 'cause it's true!

NARRATOR: Future-Worm!

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)