01x16 - Danny Swap: The Musical/The World According to Larp/Mecha-Muck Wars 2

[bunniefuu]

(BOTH LAUGHING)

Whoo!

All right, yeah. Pretty fun. Future-Worm.

(GASPS) The cast list
for tomorrow's musical's up!

-(ALL CHEERING)
-BOY: Step aside. Step aside.

Ooh, ooh! I hope I get to be
the lighting guy again!

Ugh, I don't.

You ruined my performance
as Hamlet last season.

No one can tell
how sullied my flesh was.

(SCOFFS) Yeah right.

The play would've d*ed without
the disco ball and strobes.

Yeah, can it, Chadd.

Congrats, Danny, you're the lead!

BOTH: What!

BOTH: That's impossible!

Nothing's impossible...
For the prophesied leader

of the Gem Force Five!

Oh boy, here we go...

Aw, come on, Mr. Zarlid!

I already told you I'm not down
with your stupid gem quest, man!

Uh, excuse me,

what happened to Ms. Singh?

And since when do you run the theater?

Do you think I agreed
to be her housekeeper

in exchange for control
of the play or something?

(LAUGHS) That's...

That's weirdly specific, Chadd.

(CELL PHONE RINGING)

Oh, dear. I have to go!

It's an emergency!

That has nothing to do with
Ms. Singh's laundry, Chadd.

Can't wait to hear you sing
the Gem Quest Fight Song, Danny!

Yip yip!

Look, man,
I hate singing.

-We could just trade parts.
-(DOOR OPENS)

And no trading parts!

Danny, if you don't sing
in this play, you'll be...

Uh, expelled!

That's a thing, right?

Yeah. So you better sing!

(BOTH GROANING)

(VIDEO GAME BEEPING)

This is bogus, Fyootch!

Why does Zarlid keep doing this to me?

Lizard people, man.

Always dressing up as teachers,

tryin' to recruit you
into some gem quests.

Hey, you wanna go to
the vapor planet, ?

It's not great, but, musicals are illegal.

-Perfect!
-Great, great, great, let's go.

'Cause I'm never singing again.

Not after last time...

(SINGING) Teapot, teapot, teapot!

-(SHRIEKING)
-(BOTH GASP)

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

(AUDIO DISTORTING)

(SOBBING) No!

At least you broke some stuff.
That's pretty cool, right?

BOTH: Whoa!

(GROANS)

-Future Danny?
-Future you?

I forgot how bad of a driver
I was at your age.

All right, just pay for the damages
and we'll call it a day.

Wait, wait, you think this is my fault?

No way!
You were probably napping again, oldie.

Ha! You think I have time for naps?

Maybe in your cakewalk of a childhood,

you've got time for siestas,

but I sure don't.

Dude, Future Danny can sing like an angel.

We gotta trick him
into taking my place in the show!

Good call.

What, you think
your life is harder than mine?

Yeah, right!
You wouldn't last a day in my world.

What? What's that got to do with
you crashing into my lunch box?

I'm saying, we trade places.

If being a kid is such a cakewalk,

then go to my school
and sing in my musical.

I'll bet you the repair costs,
you can't do it.

Ha! Are you kidding?

With my pipes?

You just lost yourself a bet, kid.

Er, lost a bet to yourself.

Look, just don't make
any trouble at school, okay?

You'll quit so fast,
I won't even have time to get in trouble.

Peace out, sucka!

Boom. Tricked!

That's how it's done, son!
No singing for this guy.

(SNIFFS) Woof. Wow! Oh.

But you might wanna
consider some laundry...

Saw you, saw her, don't care,
saw her, don't care...

Chadd, you spell your name with two D's?

VOICE: Yeah. The second one is for "Dork!"

(LAUGHS) That was a good one,
who said that?

VOICE: Yo!

MR. ZARLID: Danny?

Yo.

Why is your hair white?

A man gave me a fright!

Oh, okay. And why do you have a beard?

Got scared.

Hmm... I don't recall
seeing that in the prophecy.

What makes you think
you can diss the C, H, A, Double-D?

(MOCKING CHADD)

'Cause the only Double-D in this theater

is this here Danny Douglas,
AKA star of the play.

Ain't that right, Zarlid?

Oh! You're in?

He's in! (LAUGHS)

It's finally happening!

It's all true!

(SNAPS FINGERS)

Claude, would you kindly
remind Mr. Douglas

where he sits in
the pecking order at school?

Spoiler alert, very low.

Oh! (GROANS)

(MOANS)

Future pressure point!

(ALL APPLAUDING)

Bravo, Daniel, bravo!

But, gah... (STAMMERS)

You're just gonna let him do that?

Actually, he looks really comfy.

Claude's flying...

Yeah, Chadd, he's flying.

Now, get under the stage
and work the lights.

Rehearsal's up in five.

(BLOWS RASPBERRY)

Oh, mock away,
Danny, mock away,

but know that no one,
and I mean no one,

gets the better of
Chadd Dollar Sign Gold.

No one.

(FYOOTCH AND DANNY LAUGHING)

Okay, all right, nothing like trickin'

an old fool into doing your dirty work,

I always say. (SIGHS)

Or I've said a couple times.

Speakin' of dirty, you, uh...
Ugh! (SNIFFING)

Mmm, do I need to say it?

Ugh, fine, fine.

Excuse me, do you know where
there's a laundromat nearby?

Whoa, wait a second,
you're Future Danny.

Sure am.

What can I do ya for?

Gosh, fella. Uh-uh.

The Hammerhead g*ng's
been lookin' for you all over town.

I'd scram if I was you.

(SNIFFING) Oh, come on.
Take a shower, will ya?

Hammerhead g*ng? Do you think he's right?

Definitely.
That shower can't come fast enough.

(GROANS) It's the clothes, man!

Hey, whoa, don't take off without me!

I'm seafood bait down here!

Wow, this is a real driver's license!

Hmm? Wait, why does it say
you were born in...

Okay, show's over.

-(ALL GASP)
-Attention, class. Attention.

Claude.

Thank you.

Mr. Zarlid won't be able to make it today,

and since Gurus of Gold,
my father's cash for gold business,

is financing the play,

I shall be taking over as director.

What did you do with Zarlid,
Captain Country Club?

(GASPS) Me?

Why, nothing, nothing at all! (LAUGHING)

No! You can't do this to me!

I have a play to direct!

(GROANS) And Ms. Singh needs
her floors polished by : !

She's having company over!

I don't like this.

Oh, but I do, little Danny boy.

Now, get your costume on.

(ALL LAUGH)

Rehearsal begins now!

(LAUGHING) Delight, delight indeed.

Oh!

(SIGHS)

Musical starts in five minutes, cha-ching!

It's been a chill couple days here,

but you know what
the icing on the cake is?

That I found a gas mask on day two.

(SCREAMING)

What the... (YELLS)

-(GRUNTING)
-Uh-oh!

Revenge is upon you, Future Danny!

-(SCREAMS)
-I'm not Future Danny!

(ALL GRUNTING)

(INHALES) Ah, yes, yes, yes. Excellent.

(CHUCKLING) Yes.

Oh! Nuts to this, I'm callin' it.

(GRUNTS)

You win! I give up!

There was these shark dudes,
and they were mad.

Ha! I knew you couldn't handle it.

Uh, they didn't follow you, did they?

Uh, no, no. Uh-uh.

Good.

Meanwhile, being a kid
has been a piece a o' cake.

Hey, Danny, I saw you crying earlier

and thought this rose quartz
might help heal your sad... (GASPS)

What?

Curtains in five.

Come on, I'll teach you the lines.

What? How did it go from a musical
about gems to a one-man show called

"Humiliation Nation, Population Danny"?

Well, I might have
made a few, uh,

er, enemies here and there.

-What?
-(ALL YELL)

-Ah!
-Future Danny,

we tracked your foul stench
across space and time

and now you will reap ruination!

(ROARS)

And now, ladies and gentlemen,
without further ado,

I, Chadd Dollar Sign Gold,
director and producer,

present to you a study in humilia...

-(DANNY YELLS)
-(ALL GRUNTING)

(ALL GASP)

(GRUNTING)

You sing, I'll take care of the sharks.

I'm not singing the teapot song.

Then just make something up!

-Hi-ya!
-(GRUNTS)

(MIC SQUEALING)

Come on, you gonna sing or what?

(AUDIENCE JEERING, BOOING)

Get off the stage!

MAN : Oh, man.

MAN : You call this theater?

Uh, sorry.

Look, kid, what they think
of you, and all that,

doesn't matter. Just own it.

MAN : You call this theater?

Okay...

(SINGING) I'm singin' some stuff
Just singin' some stuff

What a curious feeling

I'm just makin' up stuff

Put some soul into it, man!

Dancing on stage
Not a care in my way

Old me's fightin' sharks
while I star in a play

So glad you're havin' fun

But I think the sharks have won

Oh, no! My greatest fear is...

Forget the stupid song,
just hit your high note.

Shark ears can't handle it.

Oh, right, right.

Teapot

(SHRIEKING)

(BOTH GASP)

(SHARKS GROANING)

Retreat!

(ALL CHEERING)

Whoo-hoo, we did it!

Bravo! Oh, bravo.

We have a hit on our hands, boys!

That was brilliant, brilliant.
I'm brilliant!

This is gonna make me rich...er!

(GASPS) I underestimated you, Danny boy.

You aren't as stupid as you look.

Thanks, Chadd.
I guess I underestimated me, too.

Guess who just fulfilled a prophecy!

NARRATOR: Future-Worm.

All right, I think we're getting
close to the sorcerer's lair.

I was ready to give up.

The journey is the reward, Paco.

I thought gold was the reward.

-You're being too literal.
-You're being too literal!

Hey! Stay positive.

If we work as a team,
there's no way we can fail.

Exactly. Thanks, Fyootch.

Uh-huh. Yup.

-See ya then.
-(BEEP)

My tennis partner, solid dude.

So, uh, what ya got goin' on here?

We're playing
"heroic heroes vs. the sinister sorcerer!"

Remember?

Uh-huh, yeah, the whole
fantasy roleplay thing, yeah.

Is that the, uh, evil dude
over there chilin' out?

(SIGHS) Is it my turn yet?

Dude, stay in character!

(YELPS)

Your evil tricks have never stopped us
and they never will!

I cast a fireball!

(ALL WHISPERING)

We catch it.

What? You can't catch a fireball.

I have magic gloves made of water.

All right, let's see if you can defeat

this unstoppable, vicious monster rabbit!

Kazaam!

(ALL WHISPERING)

I tame him.

Fine. I blast you with...

a million magic arrows made
of unstoppable magic energy

that explode when they hit you!

(ALL WHISPERING)

We have millions of shields
made of anti-magic energy

that stop explosions when they're hit.

(SCREAMING) That's not even possible!

I saw it happen once.

You've lost, sorcerer.

Defeated by the heroic heroes.

Your evil has proven no match for...

I get it, I get it.
I lose and you guys win.

-Again.
-Not till we destroy the wand!

No, don't!

No! I just bought that.

(GRUNTS) Evil is dumb and I owned it.

(GASPING)

That's it! I quit!

And I am never playing again!

(GRUNTING)

Stop it. I'm fine.

-(SQUEAKING)
-(GRUMBLES)

Okay, okay, I got it.

(YELLS)

Wow. Kid must be really
upset about that wand.

(GASPS) Brain-icane, Fyootch!

Let's get Presto a new
super cool future wand

that'll make him wanna play again!

We could stop over in the year

and get him a real magic wand.

Magic is real in the future?

Totally!

Or, you know, it's made of, uh,
big science and nanobots,

or... I don't know.

Cool, I love science!

Let's go!

"Presto, be the bad guy.

"Presto, we'll hide and you seek.

"Presto, you're still
playing hide and seek?

"We all went out for pizza."

Presto, wait up!

I told you, I am not playing.

I know. I know.

I just wanted to give you this new wand.

No big deal, it's just from the future.

Whoo!

Thanks, man!

But I'm still mad.

And even if this wand makes
rainbow zebras fall out of the sky, I'm...

(NEIGHING)

Still...

not...

Playing?

Well, I guess one more round can't hurt.

Alacaz-ba!

(SCREAMS)

Pow!

(YELLS)

(LAUGHS)

-Duh-dow!
-(GASPS)

(BOTH GROWLING)

Kazaam!

-(SCREAMS) Snakes!
-(YELPS)

Abraca-awesome! I finally won!

Kaboom, dah, za-pow!

See? Way more fun
with a sick future-wand, right?

Yeah! You guys wanna play again?

Nah, losing is kinda boring.

Maybe we should play...

Vampire Hunters.

ALL: I call not vampire!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, uh-uh,
no, we are not...

Go hide so we can slay you, evil vampire!

So, I never get to be the good guy?

-Nope.
-And you always get to win?

Yeah, obviously.

You want me to be
the evil one in every game?

Yes! Evil, evil, evil, let's go!

I gotta a tennis match I gotta get to.

Have it your way, heroes!

(LAUGHING EVILLY)

(ALL GASPING)

I'll be the villain,
but I don't think you're gonna win.

Evil is dumb... (SQUEALS)

(SNORTS)

(LAUGHS)

(ALL GASP)

(ROARS)

(ALL SCREAMING)

I warned you this would happen.

(SCOFFS) No, you didn't!

I didn't?

Well, I definitely meant to.

Anyway, Abracadabra's gone full baddie.

We're gonna have to
take him out for realsies.

We can't hurt him!

Presto's our friend. He's just upset.

Friend? I thought
you didn't like that guy.

You're always ganging up on him,
making him play the bad guy.

Seems like he's the punching bag, right?

Oh, no!
Do you think he thinks we think that?

Duh! I think you think that.

Hey, heroes, where you hiding?

DANNY: But that's not really
why he plays the bad guy.

Presto's the only one
who can make the game fun!

None of us has the guts
to take on everyone at once.

There's no way I could.

He's a brave soul.

(OINKING)

Yeah, just a fantastic competitor.

Anyway, I'll be over in five,

-it seems like it's wrapping up here.
-(BEEPS)

Man, we're a bunch
of grade-A chump machines.

-Hmm?
-It's his turn to win!

-Come on, guys. (GASPS)
-(GROWLING)

(ALL SCREAMING)

(ALL SCREAMING)

Stop! You've done well, my evil pet.

But I want to do this myself.

Get ready, heroes, because
I'm about to destroy you...

Oops!

I dropped my evil wand.

If it gets broken,
I'll lose the game and all my power.

(HESITATES) Uh, okay.

Then you better pick it up, I guess.

Presto, I'm sorry, we're all sorry.

We're past apologies!

And a bunch of grade-A chump machines

could never defeat the sinister sorcerer!

Oh...

-(GRUNTING)
-No...

Thing's really strong.

No. Come... You know what?
Just let me see it.

Curses! Defeated again!

Also, sorry.

No way, man. That was awesome!

-Let's play again!
-I call Presto's team.

No way, I'm with Presto.

And now the real battle begins.

-(BEEPS)
-Catch you later. (HUMS)

NARRATOR: Future-Worm!

FUTURE-WORM: Previously,
on Mecha Muck Wars ...

What the ding are you?

Future-Worm, he's a reprogrammed half-man,
half-mecha muck,

his name's Tom, and he's on our side.

I don't trust him.

Back to that brilliant plan of mine.

Nuts to the plan! (YELLS)

FUTURE-WORM: What? Cregger, no!

(YELLING)

(ALL GASP)

No, no, no!

Cregger!

Help me! Help me, Future-Worm!

FUTURE-WORM:
These are the Mecha Muck Wars !

Eww!

Listen up!

Our mission is to save
Private Lew Cregger!

So... Anybody got any ideas? I'm open.

I can break us in through the back door.

(ALL CHEERING)

Any other better ideas
from someone that's not half the enemy?

Or named Tom?

I'm not full-trusting no half-Mecha Muck.
No way, never!

Come on, Fyootch.

Tom would take a Mecha Muck blast for you!

He's the one that got us
the palace blueprints!

All right, all right!

What's your great plan, Tom?

Ah, well...

(MECHA MUCKS WHIRRING)

(IMITATING WHIRRING)

Oh, hey, I'm sorry, sorry.
I just like making the sounds.

-Whoops!
-(GRUNTS)

Oh!

Look out, Fyootch!

-(ALL GASP)
-Tom!

(SOBBING) I should have trusted you, Tom.

I'm sorry.

That's what friends are for, Future-Worm.

-Whoa.
-All right!

-(POWERING UP)
-Now, let's go save Lew!

(ALL CHEERING)

(BEEPING)

(ALL GASP)

-Cregger!
-It's you!

Guys! Aw, you came back for me!

Of course we did, kid!

And it's all because
of my new best friend, Tom.

Yeah, he's the one
that got us the palace blueprints!

Ah, it was a team effort.

Now, let's beard-butt ya outta here!

VOICE: Dr. Tyson?

Future-Worm?

Bill?

Nye, the Science Guy? Whoa.

What in Orion's Belt are you doing here?

I was captured during my quest
to disable the Mecha Muck hive brain.

Cool, we're, uh, totes
trying to do that same thing.

Guys?

We could really use
your super scientific brain power,

am I right, NDT?

Like I always say, the more
super scientific brain power, the merrier!

(HUMMING)

Guys? Guys!

-Wow!
-Whoo!

Now, let's go disable
that evil hive brain together!

TOM: Or not!

See! I called it!

Never should've trusted this robo-clown.

But you're the one that got us the...

Shut up! Nothing can stop me now, Worm!

Oh, yeah? You and what army?

Okay, that one. Good.

Destroy them!

Run!

Always knew I'd go out battlin' a traitor
half-man, half-Mecha Muck monster

with NDT and BNTSG,

and... Couple of other guys.

Not today, Future-Worm!

(VOCALIZING)

(expl*si*n)

FUTURE-WORM: Go, go, go!

Uh, guys?

Guys?

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)