09x29 - The Bottle Fighter

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[CLATTERING]

[CLATTERING]

[CRASH]

[CLATTERING,
SCUFFLING CONTINUES]

- [DING]
- I'll be with you in a minute.

- MAN: Cartwright, no!
- Room 14, Sheriff.

Open up! The law, open up!

Hey, what's a man have to do
to get a little sleep around here?

- Hoss?
- Candy.

- What are you doing here?
- Hoss, what happened?

- I don't know.
- Hoss.

- Hoss, what happened?
- I don't know.

Nobody asked you in
here. Get out. Get out!

- I'm trying to help.
- In the hall!

You, too.

I knew Edwards well. I just
sold him 1,000 head of cattle.

There's a room key,
Sheriff, on the floor.

SHERIFF: I guess
it fell off the table.

All right, mister,
why'd you do it?

Do what? What’s going on?

I'll tell you what's going
on. You're going to jail.

You're gonna stand trial
for first-degree m*rder,

and then you'll hang.

Terrible thing, just terrible.

How long are we
supposed to sit here?

I didn't get but two hours'
sleep before that fight started.

I'm going up to my room.

Sheriff Purcell said that no one
was to go upstairs until he said so.

I wouldn't get him
annoyed, if I were you.

[DOOR OPENS]

- Where do you think you're going?
- MAN: Upstairs, to bed.

- Not till I say so.
- I've already told him that.

Come on with me.

- Oh, Sheriff?
- Yeah?

Any objection if I go
over to the livery stable

and bed down on
some nice clean straw?

Why no. Not if you can fight
your way past my deputy outside.

[ROARS WITH LAUGHTER]

[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]

Well, this key works the door.

What I want to know is how
many others will do the same thing?

- Well, just one, the master key.
- The master key, where is that kept?

It's kept downstairs in
the desk drawer, locked.

- Was it there tonight?
- Yes. I looked.

Are you sure? Sure enough
to swear to it under oath?

You bet I will, Sheriff.

- Nate.
- Sheriff.

Mr. Ogleby, this is terrible.

I mean, sh**ting a man's one
thing, but a Kn*fe in the back?

Big man like Hoss Cartwright
using a Kn*fe, I just can't get over it.

The body was lying
here face down.

This is the Kn*fe
that was in his back.

Hoss Cartwright
was standing there.

The rest of the room
the way you found it?

Pretty much so. That table was knocked
over when I busted through the door.

Mm-hm.

Window locks a mouse could bust.
How come these door locks are so good?

Well, when the hotel was building,
a hardware drummer came by.

Didn't have any money, but
he had a trunk full of fine locks,

and old man McGregor
bought them all.

All right. All
right, you can go.

What were you
saying about locks?

The room clerk said there's
only two keys'll open that door,

the one I found here in the room,
and one that was locked up downstairs.

Well, looks like
the clerk was right.

Yes, and I'll be interested in
Cartwright's explanation of this.

This is Mr. Ogleby, gents,
the county prosecutor.

OGLEBY: Ever see it before?

- Yeah, in Edwards' back.
- What about you?

It's Hoss Cartwright's.
Or one just like it.

Did Cartwright have a Kn*fe
when you searched him at the jail?

No, sir, he sure didn't.

I've got all I need, Sheriff.

- When will I see Hoss?
- Well, tomorrow or the next day, maybe.

- Whenever Mr. Ogleby says you can.
- [MAN LAUGHS]

[DOOR CLOSES]

I need a room.

The court finds the evidence
presented by the prosecutor

more than sufficient to
substantiate the charge.

The defendant, Hoss
Cartwright, is hereby bound over.

The court directs Sheriff Purcell to
produce that defendant in this courtroom

three days from today

to stand trial on the charge
of m*rder in the first degree.

Court's adjourned.

I'm sorry, Cartwright,
that's all I can do for you.

Hoss, it was only a hearing.
It doesn't mean a thing.

Nobody talks to the defendant
except his lawyer and his kin.

- I was only...
- I told you that before.

Prosecutor Ogleby's ruling. It applies
to the courtroom as well as the jail.

[HORSES GALLOPING]

Never been so glad to see
anybody in my whole life.

How's Hoss?

He's not hurt or anything, but things
are about as bad as they can get.

- Where’s the jailhouse?
- This way.

- Have you seen him?
- Sheriff wouldn't let me in.

He won't let anybody in
except his family and that lawyer.

What lawyer?

- Court appointed. He quit.
- What?

It's good riddance. He didn't spend more
than three minutes in the jail with Hoss.

At the hearing, he didn't
even open his mouth.

I tried to get him another one.

There's not a lawyer in this town
wants anything to do with the case.

I'll put these with the
one I took from Candy.

Won't none of you need
them till after the trial.

- Can pick them up on your way out of town.
- Why just us?

There's other people
in town wearing g*ns.

OGLEBY: Because I say so.

Nathan Ogleby,
county prosecutor.

Salt Spring is a quiet town,

Mr. Cartwright. We
want to keep it that way.

You Ponderosa people come equipped
with expl*sive tempers and short fuses.

We already have one
m*rder to prove that.

BEN: Just a moment.

Are you the
prosecutor or the judge?

As a father, Mr. Cartwright,
I sympathize with you.

As a prosecutor, I must tell you

your son stands accused
of a most heinous crime.

And I'm sworn to see that he pays the
full price the law exacts for that crime.

- I want to see my son.
- Of course. Take them in, Sheriff.

- We got here as soon as we could.
- Changed horses three times.

The way Pa rode you'd think
he worked for the Pony Express.

Hoss, tell us what happened.

I wish I knew. I mean...
I don't really know.

You see, it all started, Pa,

when I sold this fella
Edwards 1,000 head of steers,

all on a handshake deal, just
a plain handshake guarantee,

while you were in San Francisco.

Well, I got to
worrying about it, see,

and Candy and me, we
rode out here to check on him

and we got here and sure
enough, he backed out on the deal.

He decided to buy from Mort
Becker at a dollar a head cheaper.

So I went to him and tried to get him
to pay me the $2,000 earnest money

that he'd guaranteed me on
a handshake to start the drive.

He wouldn't do it. Tried to throw me
out of his room and we got into a scuffle.

Sometime during the scuffle, he
or somebody hit me over the head

and I don't remember
what happened after that.

Dad burn it, I just don't know.

[SIGHS] Well,
Mr. Van Buren regrets

that it's impossible to take
another case at this particular time.

We’re doing about as good as you
did. Three tries and three turndowns.

I didn't get the pretty
speech. Just plain "no."

Candy, did you say there
were four lawyers in Salt Spring?

Oh, more like three and a
drunk named Barney Sturgess.

Sturgess? Wait a minute, now.

There was a great trial lawyer in
Sacramento some years ago by that name.

Wonder if it's the same
one. Where’s his office?

Around the corner,
up the stairs.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

- [KNOCK ON DOOR]
- Door's open. Come in.

Hello. Mr. Sturgess?

- Yeah.
- My name is Ben Cartwright.

How do you do?

- My son, Joseph.
- [SLURRED] How do, how do you do?

- Mr. Sturgess.
- And this is Candy.

Yes. I've been seeing
you around on the street.

- How do you do?
- Sorry this place is so cluttered.

I'm not much of a housekeeper.

Sit down. There you are!

Oh. [CHUCKLES]

Ooh, it's a little
friend of mine.

Good soldier. I was
with him when he d*ed.

- Come on, let's get out of here.
- Sit down. Come on. Sit down.

You're Ben Cartwright. Your son
Hoss is in jail. He's in big trouble.

Mr. Sturgess, my son is charged
with m*rder. There's no doubt...

Wait a minute.

I want to show this young man
I'm not as far gone as he thinks.

I value my privacy.

And I sit in saloons
alone, but I listen.

I hear what's going on. You're trying
to hire a lawyer, but they're all too busy.

Truth is, nobody wants
to buck Nate Ogleby.

It ain't smart,

not if you want to make a living
in the law business in this town.

Is that how you feel about it?

Oh, it doesn't make
any difference how I feel.

I'm not fool enough to think I
could defend a m*rder charge,

and sure you're not fool
enough to want to hire me.

Even if you had a good
lawyer it wouldn't help much.

What you need is a miracle.

A miracle or not, my
brother didn't do it.

Your opinion.

Unfortunately, the good
people of Salt Springs

have already tried
and convicted him.

Mr. Sturgess...

We need legal help and
you're the only man available.

At least you could
get a postponement.

Won’t do you any good.

- Even a clerk could get a postponement.
- Find a clerk. Leave me alone.

You used to have a
reputation as a fighter.

I remember you when a m*rder
case, any case, would be a challenge.

Before this.

Now, nobody would trust me to witness
a signature, let alone go into a court.

And I like it that way.

Mr. Sturgess, my son needs your help
and you're going to have to help him.

I could never make it. No,
go away, leave me alone.

BEN: You'll make it.

We’ll see to it
that you'll make it.

We’ll walk you around
until you're stone sober,

and you'll walk into that courtroom
and you'll get that postponement.

- You don't know what you're asking.
- Yes, I do.

There's got to be a
shred of guts left in you.

We need your help.

All right, I'll try.

What was the fight about?

HOSS: I've told you three
times already, Mr. Sturgess.

Well, I didn't hear you. Wait.

You did tell me something about
money, but I want to hear it again.

Now, you and Candy rode in.

Then Candy took the
horses to the livery stable

and you went into the hotel.

That's right. I went in the
hotel. I went straight to the clerk.

I was just about to register when he
told me that Mr. Edwards was in room 14.

- So I went right on up there.
- Were you mad at him?

- You hunting for trouble?
- I told you already, Mr. Sturgess.

Mr. Edwards owed me
$2,000 earnest money

that he was
supposed to have paid

when we went on the trail
with the cattle, he didn't show.

- You went on up to 14?
- That's right.

I got up there and
the door was open.

He was in there having
a drink with Mort Becker.

I went in and I told
Mr. Edwards I wanted the $2,000,

and I wanted a contract
for the rest of the money,

to be paid when we delivered the
cattle, and he told me the deal was off.

- Is that why you k*lled Becker?
- I didn't k*ll him, confound it.

How long are you gonna
let this drunk keep it up?

He's doing better than he was.

What are we gonna do? He's
the only lawyer we can get.

Some lawyer! He has trouble
remembering what he just heard.

I don't know how he finds
his way to the courthouse.

Well, there are
times when he can't.

You know, most times I feel sorry
for people who hire old Bottle Barney.

This time it don't
make no difference.

In over 20 years of law work, I never
seen a more open-and-shut case.

What made Becker mad?

Well, I told Mr. Edwards that Becker
didn't have 1,000 head of cattle.

Didn't even have 500,
unless they were stolen.

How do you know that?

Well, less than a week ago he was
bumming meal money around Virginia City.

Hey, you know, it's a good thing
Ogleby didn't hear you say that.

How could Edwards give
you $2,000 if he was broke?

Dad burn it, it wasn't Edwards
that was broke, it was Becker!

I didn't hear it
right. Yes. Becker.

- It was Becker who left room 14, hm?
- That's right.

Can you tell me how much
money Edwards had in his pocket?

Be glad to, Mr. Cartwright.

He had a $104 and a gold watch.

So, if you're thinking
of robbery, forget it.

He came at me with a
chair. He missed, hit a table.

I took it away from him,
or what was left of it.

About that time I remember this
shadow coming over my shoulder and...

somebody hit me over the head
and the next thing I knew I woke up,

and I was looking at
Candy and the sheriff.

Hit you on the head? Let me see.

It was the day before
yesterday. It's already gone.

No. And it was your Kn*fe
that they found in there?

[SIGHS] Yeah.

And you haven't any idea
how it got into Edwards' back?

I told you I didn't know!

BEN: All right, Barney.

That'll be enough. Let's go.

No, Pa, he was a little mixed up
at first, but he's doing all right now.

Somebody's gonna have to
ask them questions anyhow.

- I'll see you in court.
- Yeah.

[COUGHING]

- You all right?
- Yeah.

I'll be able to get to my
office before I fall down.

Tomorrow, if I'm lucky, I'll be
able to walk into the courthouse.

I'll get your postponement.

I'd sure hate to have to
take it all the way through.

I'm not saying he's
guilty. I don't think he did it.

Why, that moose could have slapped
that Edwards right through the wall.

- He's not one to use a Kn*fe.
- Of course he's not.

That makes four of us,

but that jury will find him
guilty without leaving the box.

Well, I got to get to my office. See,
before I go for that postponement,

- I got some reading to do.
- I'll walk along with you.

- Don't bother.
- No bother at all.

All right.

Oh. There's nothing up there
but a lot of old law books and dust.

On the corner's a saloon.
You can get a beer.

I'll meet you there as soon as I track
down those precedents I'm looking for.

We gotta nail this down tight.

That old Judge Simpson,
he's a mean old goat.

All right. See you
in a little while.

[SMASHES]

JOE: Put it down.

- I said put it down!
- [SMASH]

I just want a little nip to
nail me back together again.

Oh, you're gonna drink. You're
gonna drink all right. Black coffee.

I'm gonna fill you full of it
while you do that book work.

Then after that, we're
gonna walk again.

- I've done all the walking I'm gonna do.
- No, you're gonna walk!

We're gonna go to the hotel
so we can keep an eye on you.

When you walk in that
courtroom tomorrow

you're gonna be the
soberest man in Salt Springs.

Why don't you go away and leave
me alone? I don't want this job.

We don’t want you either,
but we're stuck with you!

After you get that postponement
tomorrow, you can do anything you want,

but until then you're
gonna do what I say.

I don't like delays,
Mr. Sturgess.

We've never had to call in outside
help to solve our legal problems before.

And since the defendant has a
"lawyer", I see no reason to start now.

Motion to postpone denied.

If the court please, we haven't had
time to prepare an adequate defense.

I'll give you time.

It's, uh... ten o'clock now.

This court is in
recess until 1pm.

[BANGS GAVEL]

When the judge denied that
postponement, he dang near fell down.

JOE: Hoss, there isn't anybody
else. We’re stuck with him.

There's gotta be
somebody somewhere, Joe.

We telegraphed Charlie
Haskell in Virginia City

- and Pa's over talking to Van Buren now.
- [FOOTSTEPS]

I... I was hoping that Van Buren could
help out Barney until Charlie gets here.

I offered him triple fee, but
he's... Well, he's just too busy.

Yeah.

- So that leaves Charlie, don't it?
- He'll get here as quick as he can.

Yeah, it's a three-day ride
and he ain't the best horseman.

He'd better not stop
to pick many daisies.

If it's a three-day ride,
your trial may be over.

What worries me about Barney
is that shaking this morning.

Ain't no telling what he'll
be doing this afternoon.

Hoss, don't worry about
Barney, he'll make it.

I'll see to it that he makes
it, hour by hour, if necessary,

but I promise
you, he'll make it.

- Just till Charlie gets here.
- Yeah, if Charlie gets here.

Oh, God.

I need a drink bad.

Coffee only. Keep
trying. You're doing fine.

The sheriff went into the m*rder
room first? Then you, then Becker?

That's right.

What was Hoss doing when
the sheriff broke through the door?

He was hanging on the end of the
bed, and he asked me what was going on.

Did he say anything about being
slugged over the head from behind?

No, but he looked dazed,
like a man just waking up.

He was out on his feet cold for
three or four minutes, lying on the floor.

- That's why he couldn't remember.
- Yeah, but he can't prove it.

The bruise has gone, his
eye's clear as a summer day.

BEN: I don't know about you,

but the three of us know that
there was another man in that room,

the one that slugged
Hoss and k*lled Edwards.

I'm inclined to believe that.

I keep asking myself who
and why, and mostly how.

It takes a key
to work that lock,

and the key was inside
with Hoss and the corpse.

Ogleby's sitting
there waiting for us.

Any mention of a blow on
the head or another man,

we'd get laughed out of court.

[BELL RINGS]

The courthouse bell.

The court will
convene in five minutes.

Hm. Haven't been
able to do that in years.

Now, if I get my head working,

maybe we'll give Mr. Nathan Ogleby
a fight that'll be worth the trouble.

Barney.

You gotta win this
one. It's my son's life.

Sheriff, will you describe to
the court what you first saw

when you stepped into room 14?

Well, the room was a mess.
It had been all broken up.

There was a body lying
there beside the bed.

- And who was that?
- It was Mr. Edwards. He'd been stabbed.

- The Kn*fe was still in his back.
- Where was the defendant?

He was standing at the foot of the
bed, about four feet from the body.

Have you seen this Kn*fe before?

I sure have. It was
sticking in the body.

If the court please.

To save the court time,
the defense stipulates

that the Kn*fe is the m*rder w*apon
and the property of Hoss Cartwright.

Your witness.

You say Hoss Cartwright was
standing at the foot of the bed.

Where were his hands?

At the end of his arms,
where they are now.

[LAUGHTER]

[GAVEL BANGING]

Was the defendant
standing unsupported

or was he hanging on
to the foot of the bed?

He was holding on
to the foot of the bed.

Yeah. Were there any
marks or bruises on him?

Not that I seen.

A man is in a terrible fight,
that we've been hearing about,

yet there are no
cuts or bruises.

Isn't that remarkable, Sheriff?

Well, maybe his knuckles were
swollen up a little bit. He's a big man.

Big hands like
that, it's hard to tell.

Did you examine the
defendant for cuts or bruises?

I sure did, in jail,

in the same cell I usually put you
when you're too drunk to get home.

[LAUGHTER]

- [GAVEL BANGING]
- JUDGE: That's enough, Mr. Purcell.

You'll testify properly

or you'll be occupying that cell
for 60 days yourself for contempt.

JUDGE: This is not a saloon
or a theatre, it's a court of law.

Any more levity and I'll clear
the room. Proceed, Mr. Sturgess.

If the court please.

I have no objection to
the sheriff telling the truth.

I know the cell
in question well,

and I'm sure the
voters are all impressed

by the zeal with which
the sheriff does his job.

- [MURMURING]
- [GAVEL BANGING]

Beginning to sound like the old
Barney Sturgess from Sacramento.

When you examined the
defendant, what did you find?

Not a mark, not a scratch.

OGLEBY: Will any
key other than these two

- unlock the door of room 14?
- HOTEL CLERK: No, sir.

Is a key necessary to lock
the door from the inside?

Yes, it is, from either side.

This one was found inside
the room. Where was this one?

That one was locked in the
drawer of the desk in the lobby.

Nobody was near
that desk but me.

I was downstairs all the
time the fight was going on.

[MURMURING]

OGLEBY: Your witness.

We've heard a lot about
the fine locks in your hotel.

What happens if one of your
guests wanders off with a key?

I send the handyman after him.

And suppose he manages
to elude that handyman?

That hasn't happened except once in
ten years, and we just replaced the lock.

We have a dozen or
so left in the basement.

[MURMURING]

[GAVEL BANGING]

You heard Mr. Edwards
shout, "Cartwright, no!"

- How would you describe that shout?
- Scared.

Made chills run up my spine.
That’s why I got up and dressed.

Thank you.

Mr. Sturgess, your witness.

Remember, I told
you about this fella.

Just a few days ago, he was in Virginia
City bumming meals, and he's a thief.

Thanks. That may be
the very club I need.

Now...

You were doing business
with Mr. Edwards, Mr. Becker?

I sold him 1,000 head of cattle.

So that when he was k*lled, you lost
not only a friend, but the sale of a herd?

That's right.

How many head of cattle
do you own, Mr. Becker?

Well, I sold 1,000 head...

I didn't ask you how many you
sold. How many cattle do you own?

How many steers wear your brand?

I don't have a ranch. I'm
a dealer. I buy and sell.

We know what you
sold. Where do you buy?

Small ranches, where I
can make a profitable deal.

Small ranches?
Would you name a few?

Um... A spread up Cold
Creek. The brand slips my mind.

- Another one over...
- You don't remember, huh?

Is that because you deal
in stolen cattle, Mr. Becker?

Or because you were here to
promote some earnest money

for a fast trip to
another state?

Your Honor, I object. The
witness is not on trial here.

- [GAVEL BANGING]
- The defendant is.

JUDGE: Order.
Silence in the courtroom.

Wish I could have
gone further with Becker.

You got under the
prosecutor's skin pretty good.

Yeah, well, at least the
jury heard that much.

Yeah, but will they remember?

That’s the question.

[MUMBLES]

I'm missing something.

It keeps nibbling at the back of
my mind and then sliding away.

I know... I know in my bones
that we're in the right area, but...

Oh, no. No! When is that Charlie
Haskell coming to take over this case?

He'll be along as soon as he can
get here, but you're doing real good.

You're doing a real good job.
You got to keep on fighting.

Yeah. Well, there must be a...
must be an answer somewhere.

You get a good night's rest.
I'll see you in the morning.

Oh.

- Here's your key.
- Oh.

- Goodnight, Barney.
- Goodnight.

[SIGHS DEEPLY]

[GROANING]

- [KNOCKING ON DOOR]
- Yeah?

- What is it?
- [KNOCKING CONTINUES]

Who is it? Huh?

Get up.

Just a minute.

Ben! Ben Cartwright,
wake up! Come in here!

BARNEY: Come in.

Were you knocking on the
wall? I thought I heard you calling.

Yes, I was knocking. Look, a
present from an unknown admirer.

Or an elf, or a banshee.

There was a knock on
the door. Nobody there.

Just the bottle at
the foot of the door.

The rest of it's in
that glass there.

It got sloshed out when I
pounded on the wall for you.

Now, if you're not gonna
put that out of my sight,

at least put it where
I can't reach it.

I really want to
start grabbing for it.

You know, somebody
wants me drunk.

Falling down drunk, so I make a
jackass out of myself tomorrow in court.

And that somebody's
beginning to sweat.

[PUTS BOTTLE DOWN]

[HOLLOW THUDS]

- I want you to do something for me.
- Might as well, I'm on your payroll.

- Go down to the lobby.
- Yeah?

Stay there for... a count
of 50, then come back.

- Yeah.
- No, you don't have time.

I want you to go right now. Never
mind the boots, just go. Quickly.

Okay.

[ROOM DOOR CLOSES]

[MUTTERING]

49, 50.

It was... It was nothing.

- What did you hear?
- Nothing.

- When you were down in the lobby.
- No.

Nothing, just the
people in the lobby.

- You didn't hear me shouting?
- No.

While you were down in the lobby I
was shouting, here, "Cartwright, no!"

- You didn't hear that?
- Not a word.

What does that mean to you?

It means this place must
be as solid as a blockhouse.

It also means that it couldn't have been
Edwards who shouted, "Cartwright, no!"

Whoever did that shouting
couldn't have been inside room 14.

- They'd never have heard him.
- He had to be out in the hall.

- Then disappear.
- That's right.

And Mr. Becker's room is
just down the hall, isn't it?

- Yes, sir.
- Yes, sir.

It would take him about as much
time to shout and go back to his room

as it did to put a bottle at the
foot of the door and disappear.

Now, maybe we know the who.

We still have the
problem of why.

It's pretty hard
to prove robbery

when the deceased has over
$100 and a gold watch on him.

And we still haven't got Becker
inside behind that locked door.

Wait a minute. I think I may be able to
help you establish that robbery motive.

If the telegraph office is still
open I'll be able to do it tonight.

Yeah. Wait a minute.

That glimmering in
the back of my mind

is beginning to take
shape and substance.

I think I may be able to
put Becker inside room 14.

Don't forget this.

Done it! Yeah!

Yeah!

[INDISTINCT WHISPERING]

Give it to Barney.

BAILIFF: All rise.

JUDGE: Court's in session.

Mr. Ogleby?

Your Honor, I have other
witnesses I could call,

however, I feel strongly that
the evidence already heard

proves beyond any
shadow of a doubt

that the defendant, Hoss Cartwright,
did Kn*fe and k*ll Warren Edwards.

The prosecution rests.

Mr. Sturgess, you may
proceed with the defense.

You know me, "Bottle Barney."

The man the sheriff puts in the jail
when he's too drunk to walk home.

And knowing me,

you'd kind of have to feel sorry for
anybody who had me as a lawyer...

if the case was anything much.

You know, Mr. Ogleby

has been waiting for me to
make a howling idiot out of myself.

But I don't think I'm going
to oblige him, not today.

He's been having a fine time
building a scaffold for my client.

Why, enough to
scare a man silly,

if he couldn't see that
it was built of cobwebs.

Now, what happened was

a man walked into room
14 in the middle of a fight,

hit Hoss Cartwright
over the head,

k*lled and robbed Warren
Edwards, and went.

Now, Mr. Ogleby has 100 facts
to prove that it couldn't happen.

But I know better.

Any man who's
been a bottle-fighter

for all the years that I
have can't be very smart.

But I was able to figure it out.

So the rest of you must have
been able to figure it out, too.

Now, in case that there's one
or two of you have some doubts,

I'm going to ask his honor

to allow us to adjourn to room
14 and show you how it was done.

Objection. Your Honor, how long is
the court going to allow this old charlatan

- to continue this nonsense?
- What’s the matter, Mr. Counsel?

- Are you afraid I'm right?
- I know you're wrong.

- Then why the objection?
- JUDGE: Fair question, Mr. Ogleby.

So fair that I'm going to indulge
Mr. Sturgess in his request.

[GAVEL BANGS]

Court will reconvene in room
14 of the Salt Spring Hotel.

Your Honor, if you
will come over here,

and Mr. Ogleby, right here.

Yeah. Comfortable?

Fine. Mr. Becker, you were the first
one in, so will you come in here, please?

We need a corpse, and
you're just about the right size,

and you know how the body was.

So, if you would lie down on
the floor there as the body was,

it would be very helpful.

[SIGHS]

That’s fine. Now, Sheriff, if
you will bring in the defendant.

Put him where you found him.

Now, if you would
give me the key, please.

Thank you. Oh, the
table was turned over.

And I don't think we need to
bother with the broken chairs.

Is everything the way it was
when you found it, Mr. Ogleby?

Yes, Counselor.

Now, can we get this silly
game over and go back to court?

Very quickly, Mr. Ogleby. Now,
Sheriff, you come with me out in the hall.

Now, then, if you'll
simulate breaking in the door.

- The key's out here.
- Yes, I know the key's out here.

But you go on, break in.

Come along.

Since Mr. Becker has
agreed to be the corpse,

I'll go through the motions
that Mr. Becker made.

So you two gentlemen do
now exactly as you did then.

I went over to look at the body.

Becker straightened
up the table.

Then I ordered Candy
and Becker out of the room.

Exactly as it happened then.

How did Becker say it?

"There's the room key,
Sheriff, on the floor."

- You made a monkey out of me.
- No, sir.

I really found that
key on the floor.

That walking whiskey
vat's tricking you, Sheriff.

He's trying to get me into trouble so
he can get that Hoss Cartwright out.

[CHUCKLES] Your Honor,

I have a telegraph here addressed to
Ben Cartwright from Edwards' partner.

It was delivered before
court opened this morning.

As you see, it states that Mr. Edwards
was carrying $10,000 in cash.

Now, since Mr. Edwards
never paid Mr. Becker

for that hypothetical
1,000 head of cattle,

that money should still have
been in Mr. Edwards' possession...

along with that $104 and
gold watch, but it was not.

So, if the money is
not on Mr. Becker,

I recommend that you
search his room and baggage.

[JURY MURMURING]

Thank you, Mr. Sturgess.

Sheriff, I want this
man jailed immediately.

Court will reconvene in the
courtroom in five minutes.

JUDGE: Mr. Cartwright, all charges
against you are herewith dismissed.

And the court tenders an apology
for the people, and the prosecution.

Thank you, Your Honor.

Mr. Sturgess, it
appears I misjudged you.

Now, if you can learn
some courtroom manners,

you just might turn out
to be a fine trial lawyer.

[GAVEL BANGS]

- Court's adjourned.
- Barney.

[EXCITED CHATTER]

Oh...

Congratulations Barney.
Barney, you did it.

Not without your help.

I'm afraid your attorney,
Haskell, from Virginia City,

is gonna have a
long ride for nothing.

- I guarantee he won't mind a bit.
- Don't you worry about Haskell now!

He's gonna be awfully happy
to find out how you made out.

Mr. Sturgess, I'd like to buy
you the biggest drink in town.

Oh, that will be fine.

But you'd better make it black coffee.
I've, uh... developed a taste for it.

[ALL LAUGH]

- Come on.
- HOSS: I'll take that drink!

Okay!