07x04 - Letterkenny vs Penny

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Letterkenny". Aired: February 7, 2016 –; present.*
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Comedy series showcases the antics of the residents of Letterkenny, a small rural community in Canada.
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07x04 - Letterkenny vs Penny

Post by bunniefuu »

‐ How come youse aren't
Crackin' an Ag this week?

‐ Oh, there's some nut sacks in there
trying to remake Wayne's World.

‐ Wayne's World or Noah's Arcade
Presents: Wayne's World?

‐ Well, the f*ckin' former, I hope.

‐ You guys seens the remakes
of Hawaii Five‐0's?

‐ Hawaii Five‐no.

‐ I've seen it.

Hawaii Five‐‐
Oh, look what else is on. Click.

‐ Yeah, it's about time they simmer down
with all those remakes in LA.

‐ Reboots, if we're splittin' hairs in LA.

‐ Yeah, whatever you wanna call it.
Just leave it be, f*ck.

‐ Yeah, just leave it be, f*ck.
‐ Hawaii Five‐Ugh.

‐ Yeah, maybe James Caan but Scott Caan't.

‐ [Wayne chuckles]
‐ You know what show they should remake?

Who's The Boss?
‐ Now that was a show.

‐ That's a show.
‐ Maybe the best show.

‐ You guys know I do a pretty good
Tony Danza, right?

ALL: Yes.

‐ [imitating Tony Danza]
Ay‐oh, ay‐oh.

‐ Well, to be fair...

‐ [in posh accent] To be fair...
‐ [in posh accent] To be fair...

‐ [in posh accent] Uh, to be fair...
‐ [in posh accent] To be fair...

[in normal voice] Everybody does
a pretty good Tony Danza, Dary.

‐ [in normal voice] No, they don't.
‐ [imitating Tony Danza] Angela!

‐ [imitating Tony Danza] Jonathan.
‐ [imitating Tony Danza] Mona!

‐ [in normal voice] Yeah, it's kind of
like Christopher Walken.

Like, even Christopher Walken
does a pretty good Christopher Walken.

‐ I've seen better.

‐ [imitating Christopher Walken]
I wanted to know what it would be like...

to be a crocodile.

‐ Attaboy.

‐ [in normal voice]
Here's my takes on the whole things.

If you're gonna be
remakesing Who's The Boss?

or any shows for that matter,
you gotta shakes it up a little bit.

You know, it's not enough
to just get some new actors

to play the same old parts.

‐ Could summit
Mount Whatsyerpoint any time now.

‐ Here's my elevator's pitch.

Now we've established
everyone loves Who's The Boss?

‐ [in normal voice] We have.
‐ Everyone also else loves Doctor Whos.

‐ Mm, it's true. They do.

‐ So why not take two tried and true ideas
and make one new one.

Doctor Who's The Boss?

‐ Now, see, I'd watch that.

‐ That's a one‐inch putt.
‐ Yeah, that's a two‐fer.

‐ That's a tap‐ins.
‐ That's a tap‐in for eagle.

‐That's an empty‐netter.
‐ That's a mash‐ups, if you wills.

‐ A lay‐up, if you will.

‐ Doctor Who's The Boss?
Now that's a show.

‐ [imitating Tony Danza]
Samantha, the universe,

it's a vast and ridiculous place,

full of, uh, lots of unexplained things
that we call miracles.

Now go get Jonathan
'cause dinner's almost ready.

ALL [imitating Tony Danza]:
Ay‐oh, ay‐oh.

‐ Oh.
‐ [in normal voice]
Now, so wait a second.

So you just take any two shows
and you jam 'em together?

DAN [in normal voice]:
Not any two shows.

The second show has to begin
with the last word of the first show

in order for it to be
a seamless portmanteaus.

‐ Like Roseanne...
‐ Of Green Gables.

‐ [in normal voice] Modern Family...
‐ Feud.

‐ See, I would've gone
with Modern Family Matters,

just 'cause I'm a big Urkel fan.

‐ [normal voice]
Maybe the biggest Urkel fan here.

‐ Yeah, Stefan Urquelle's
a pretty good guy, too. Great dancer.

‐ Happy Days...
‐ Of our Lives.

‐ Game Of Thrones?
‐ See I'd go Dating Game of Thrones.

The world's first medieval
fantasy dating realities game show.

That's your hooks.

‐ Full House.
‐ Hunters International.

Blended families
looking for new homes all over the worlds.

That's a walk with bases loaded.

‐ Magnum PI...
‐ Dreams of Jeannies.

‐ South Parks & Recreation.

‐ Orphan is the New Black.

‐ Speakers Corner Gas.
‐ Beverly Hillbillies 90210s.

‐ Perfect Stranger Things.

‐ The Mindy Project Runway.

‐ Larry King of Queens.

‐ Larry King of the Hill.

‐ Larry Brea‐King Bads.

‐ Sesame Street Legal.

‐ Ooh! Puppets take on
difficult court cases.

I'm telling you, that's like having a
hammer in the eighth with an empty house.

‐ Wait, I think I got a doozie here.

The Golden Gilmore Gossip Girls.

ALL [imitating Tony Danza]:
Oh‐ay, ay‐oh.

‐ Yeah?
‐ [in normal voice] Yeah.

‐ Yeah.
DAN [in normal voice]:
In figure skating terms,

you just landed a br*wnings.
That's a trifecta.

That's like, uh, The Good Doctor
Whose Line Is It Anyways?

‐ [in normal voice] Or perhaps if
you're going to reboot Who's The Boss?

you gotta make
Bruce Springsteen the Boss.

‐ Oh, yeah, I would watch that for sure.

‐ [imitating Tony Danza]
Born in the U‐S‐Ay‐oh, whoa!

ALL [imitating Tony Danza]:
Ay‐oh, ay‐oh.

‐ Remember when I was on Taxi?

Oh, I was also named Tony.

ALL [imitating Tony Danza]:
Ay‐oh, ay‐oh.

‐ And I tried really hard
with that talk show.
DARYL: Oh!

♪ theme music playing ♪

♪ spaghetti Western music playing ♪

[Dan clears throat]

‐ [in normal voice]
Welcome to this year's

sister versus
brother fundraising challenge

in supports of Don Cherry's
Pet Rescue Foundations.

‐ [in normal voice]
Weren't youse gonna come up

with a catchier name this year?

‐ [in normal voice]
Yeah, we were,

but the only word
that rhymes with sibling is "nibbling,"

and that gets real weird real fast.

WAYNE and KATY: Fair.

‐ We were tossing around the ideas
of calling it "Wayne, Lose or Draw,"

which, despite being fun to say,

turns out it actually doesn't
explains what the hells we're doing here.

BOTH: True story.

‐ Now, Wayne, as you are awares,

Katy won last year's
Doggie Dinner Theater challenge.

‐ Gotta hand it to you, sister.

"Bone Alone" was choice.

DAN:
Deftly‐crafted and oddly poignant.

I can see why audiences raved.

‐ [in normal voice]
And to you, Big Brother.

"Fiddler on the Ruff" was...

also choice.

‐ High‐concept and gamely delivered,

but maybe a smidge too hips for the room.

DARYL:
Katy also won the year before

with the Hick or Treat
Halloween Challenge.

The judges ruled in her favor
for her "Katy Lang" costume

over your Waynes, Trains and Automobiles.

‐ Oh, yeah, you kicked my caboose.

‐ In fact, Katy is undefeated
in the five‐year histories,

or should we says,
"herstories" of this heres events.

‐ What's the theme this year, boys?

‐ Letterkenny versus Penny.
And the rules are quite simple:

Whoever can fill the most paint cans
with pennies, wins.

‐ Technically, the animals wins,
because every cent goes to them,

but, you know, one of youse
gets bragging rights.

‐ And the loser has to roll
every single cent.

‐ Ah, bugger.
‐ Oh, bother.

‐ Shotguns start at noon.

Paint cans loaded by midnight.

And if all goes according to plan,
Dan and I will be loaded by mid‐aft.

‐ Dary and I's are on the night shift,
much like The Commodores.

We'll be counting every red cents
until the sun rises.

‐ Youse could be rollin 'em
while you're countin' 'em.

‐ Yeah, what are we even doing here?

‐ What's a competition without stakes?

‐ What's a couple of Puppers
without steaks?
‐ Mm‐hmm.

‐ Oh, bugger.
‐ Oh, bother.

‐ The official tally will be counted
and the winner determined by first light.

Questions?

All right, then. We're good, then.

‐ Dary, that was redundant, Dary.

‐ Okay, Katy. Katy, okay.
Good luck.

I look forward to being the bark‐itecht
of your demise.

‐ And to you, Big Brother.

Who's a good boy?

[Wayne growls softly]

‐ May the best sibling win.



‐ Didn't peg you for a first‐in‐line
Saturday mati‐nooner.

‐ I'm not. [sighs]

Wayne and I are competing
in a fundraising challenge

for Don Cherry's Pet Rescue Foundation,

and I have to collect more pennies.

I need your help b*ating him.

‐ Oh, I'd love to help you b*at him off.

‐ Unnecessary preposition
at the end there, Gail.

‐ 'Kay.
‐ 'Kay.

‐ Anyways, in for a penny.

‐ In for a pound.



‐ You're giving her quite a head start,
good buddy.

You haven't even left the house yet.

‐ f*ck, when are the Obvious Awards
this year, Dary? You're a shoo‐in.

‐ He's gonna do the reds carpets?

‐ I hear Ryan Seacrest
can't wait to talk to you.

‐ Who's you wearings?

‐ I hear Ben Mulroney
can't wait to talk to you.

‐ They'll probably puts you up
between Cardi Bs and Sacha Barons Cohens.

‐ Oh, look at Cardi B over there
sporting a baby bump.

f*ck, she brave, eh?

‐ Well, what's your plan, Stan?
‐ I dunno. What's the plan, Dan?

‐ I believes this forecast calls
for a brainstorms.

‐ Well, Dary, what say
you found yourself in this competition.

What g*dd*mn would a Dary do?

‐ I'd have a dogwash,
and folks could watch movies

when their pups are having a bath.

Then I'd call it "Hair Bud."

‐ Hard no. Squirrelly D?

‐ I supposes you could have
an event called In The Dogshouse,

where wives pay good money for their
husbands to literally sleeps in doghouses.

I know a few gals who'd pays
a pretty pennies for that one.

‐ f*ck, you priced lumber lately?

What we'd spend on materials
to build the cocksuckers

would put us six feet under.

Plus time is of the essence.

Only got till midnight, so...

‐ Petting zoo for the kids?

‐ Heavy petting zoo for the adults.
‐ In.

‐ What do we want people to do?

‐ Gives you money.
‐ Bingo.

‐ That's a good idea.
People love bingo.

‐ Don't f*cking piss me off, Dary.

‐ You looks like
you've got a plans, good buddy.

‐ I got a plan, good buddy.
Wanna know what the plan is, good buddy?

Here's what the plan is, good buddy.

I'll tell you what the plan is,
good buddy.

Door‐to‐door, less is more.

‐ I don't knows about that.

Door knockings could be
all sorts of awkwards.

‐ No, it's a great opportunity to catch up
on your small town banter as well.

You ever notice you never get
a straight answer out of anybody

in a small town
when you ask 'em how they're doing?

I like that.

‐ Door knocking can become
hostile as well.

Like if it's suppertime,
or folks are busy getting busy. [chuckles]

‐ That's why there needs to be
a strategy in place, Dary.

‐ Go on.

‐ Urgency.
‐ I'm listening.

‐ Dary, give me your wallet real quick.

‐ See?
‐ See what?

‐ Take it back.

Dary, give me your wallet.

‐ But you just gave it back to me.

‐ Dary, give me your wallet real quick.

‐ See?
‐ I believes I do.

‐ By adding "real quick"
to the interaction, it creates urgency.

So people are less prone to think.

They just do.

‐ That is incredible. Wow.

I mean, the urgency was right there.

‐ And I just gotta get‐‐
‐ Dary, shut the f*ck up real quick.

Point and proof.

Well...

Hick‐talk, start the clock.

‐ Penny for your thoughts, Jim?

‐ I was just thinking I ought to change
the runner on my skid steer.

‐ Sorry, no. I meant,
can you spare a penny or two?

‐ I can spare one, two, three,
looking at four dollars...

[auctioneer calling]

Sold! But it don't come free.
What for?

‐ I'm collecting for Don Cherry's
Pet Rescue Foundation.

‐ I give annually to Noah's Bark.

‐ Get off your wallet, Dickskin.
‐ It's Dickins!

‐ What's in your jeans, Dickskin?

‐ It's a good thing this Dickskin's
got thick skin, Gail.

What's the damage?

‐ Two‐dollar highballs.

But for you, call it a buck 99.

‐ Keep the change.
Your tip.

Tip's my favorite part.

‐ That's insane.

GAIL:
I'd like to Aaron Taylor his Johnson.

‐ What?

‐ I'd like to Dwayne "The Rock"
his Johnson.

‐ [sighs] Well, at least you got a penny
for his thoughts.

‐ This'll get the rig rolling.

Listen up, y'all!

Buck 99 highballs till midnight.

Bonnie!

‐ Grab your friends, buy a round!

‐ That's one strategy, Katy‐Kat.

‐ That's a drop in the bucket, though.

Pun intended.

‐ You okay with a little white lie,
Miss Katy?

‐ A little white lie never hurt anyone.

GAIL: Here's the scoop.

Most people like to give

'cause it makes them, mm, feel good.

So we gotta be penny‐wise,

make it easy for 'em.

‐ 'Kay.

‐ Not everyone one gives a sh*t
about animal rescue.

You got the Thibodeaus and their kind
dragging sick cows around the yard

by a loader and chain, for f*ck's sakes.

‐ f*ck you, Thibodeau.

‐ Believe it or not,

some folks aren't too warm
to that fella Don Cherry either.

‐ He's a national treasure.

‐ So, you got to make up a new charity

that pulls, mm, on their heartstrings,

and it'll open up... [pops lips]

...their purse strings.

‐ That's a tad bit scheisty, Gailer.

‐ Who you doing this for?
‐ The animals.

‐ They won't tell.
‐ That's true.

‐ And, this just in: it's f*cking pennies.

‐ A little white lie never hurt anyone.

‐ Hey, get off your wallets,
you sousy fucks!

‐ Yeah, you sousy fucks!

‐ f*ck!
‐ f*ck!

GAIL: f*ck!
‐ f*ck!

‐ Hey, you want a drink?

‐ Hello.

‐ I should say.

‐ Good morning to you.
‐ And to you.

‐ It's my chest, isn't it?

‐ Sorry?
‐ My chest?

Just picked it up from a garage sale.
Real conversation piece.

‐ Mm‐hmm.

‐ Same with my jugs.
‐ What's that?

‐ My grandpa makes moonshine,
which those are perfect for.

Can you imagine my grandpa and his buddies
sucking on these jugs?

ALL: No.

‐ How are you now?
ALL: Goods, and youse?

‐ Are you two staring at my girls?

‐ No.
‐ No. Oh, look at you, ceiling.

What's up? You is.

‐ Look, I got some questions for you.

‐ I got some answers.

‐ You ever seen
any of those Naked g*n movies?

‐ No.
‐ No? Okay.

‐ Hot sh*ts?
‐ Strike deux.

‐ Is that right? Okay.

Well, how do you feel about pet rescue?

WOMAN: How do you feel
about these puppies?

Just rescued these tits a few weeks ago.
‐ [puppies whimper]

Give 'em a little kiss.

‐ The tits?
‐ What else?

WAYNE:
I better not.

Say, I'm collecting so that more...
tits get homes.

‐ What's the charity called?

‐ You ever hear of the United Wayne?

‐ Cute.
‐ Well, I'm just kidding around.

It's actually Don Cherry's
Pet Rescue Foundation.

‐ Good guy, that Don Cherry.
‐ Oh, he's a great guy.

‐ My papa loves him.
Same last name actually.

‐ So, you would call him...?
‐ Papa Cherry.

‐ Yes.

Never seen Airplane!?
Airplane 2?

‐ Strike three.
‐ Oh, that's something.

All right, well,
before I head back to the dugout,

can I grab your spare pennies real quick?

‐ Yeah, I've got a couple of big cans.

A couple big cans that I use for bookends,
but you can have 'em.

‐ Okay.
‐ Here.

You know you'd have these tits
in your hands sooner than later.

‐ No, I didn't, but here they are.

WOMAN: Just wait here,
and I'll bring out my big cans.

‐ That is... incredible.

‐ What, the whole "real quicks" thing?

‐ Well, among other things.

‐ In wrestling terms, that's what we call
a pins in under a minutes.

Or in pro wrestling terms,
what we'ds call a squash match.

‐ She's never seen Airplane!

‐ And one.
WOMAN: Come here.

Hello. Hi.
‐ And two.

[Wayne mutters]

‐ Before you go,
let me get my girls out for you.

Would have been rude of them
not to say goodbye.

Have a great day.

‐ You also have a great day.

[whistles]

‐ That was like taking penny candies
from a babies.

‐ It was kind of...

kind of something, eh?

‐ Dary, give me your beer real quick.

‐ [sighs]
Thanks for supporting the YMCHay.

Word Vision puts books in the hands
of people that need them most.

Thank you.

I'm collecting for Uniself,
to send myself to University,

'cause I need it.

[mouths]
Thank you.

Ladies, hey. Spare your pennies?

Help send kids to Camp Whatchamacallit.

‐ How's it going, pretty kitty?

‐ Well, the dudes are giving steady,

but all the girls are giving me
is stink eye.

‐ Maybe you should arrange
a little something for the ladies.

‐ Gail force strikes again.
Good thinking.

Boys, MoDean's.

'Cause I need backup.

Stat.

[knocking]

‐ Well, well, well,
look at what the cat dragged in.


‐ That's better than
what the cat coughed up.

‐ Right before curiosity k*lled it.
‐ [both laugh]

Your toesies must be frozies.

‐ Just like my nosies.
How are you now?

‐ Well, I'm about two points
above average.

‐ Well, two is better than one,
last time I checked.

‐ It's a beautiful day out.
Too nice.

‐ Well, I'd complain,
but who would listen? [chuckling]

‐ My wife, Barb, would.

She was an amazing listener.

‐ Tell you what, I'm collecting
pennies for the United Wayne real quick.

‐ Give me a sec.

‐ Tell you what, I'll give you two.
‐Two's better than one.

Here you go.

I was collecting these for Noah's Bark,

but you can have 'em for,
uh, what's it called?

‐ Well, call it the United Wayne.

‐ The United Wayne, of course.

‐ Well, can't thank you enough,
so I'm not gonna try.

‐ Wouldn't even ask you to.
‐ Well, I do take requests.

‐ Well, you could turn up the heat
a couple notches for us.

[both laugh]

‐ Too much fun.

[sighs]

‐ "United Wayne."

He's so full of sh*t his eyes are brown.

WAYNE:
Your toesies must be frozies.

‐ Just like our nosies.

‐ Let's gosies.
‐ Can confirm.

‐ What's that, Barb?
‐ [car door closes]

Oh, it's no one.

I'll draw you a bath.

‐ Hey, Katy‐Kat.
‐ Came as fast as we could.

‐ If I had a penny
for every time I heard that...

KATY:
Boys, I need you to go table to table,

collecting all the pennies
from all the ladies.

‐ What?
‐ Why?

‐ What is this, W‐f*cking‐5?
Do as you're told.

Work those women.

Make up a charity
that tugs on their heartstrings

and loosens up their purse strings.

‐ I don't know.
That sounds a bit scheisty, boys.

‐ It's Mennonite scheisty, bro.

‐ This just in: it's f*cking pennies.

KATY: And a little white lie
never hurt anyone.

‐ Yeah, still, we...

Mm... mm.

We'll go talk to girls, boys.

‐ Pennies only.

‐ I'm looking at dimes.

BOTH: Yes, we can.

‐ Is anyone interested in contributing

to the Dollar Bill
and Melinda Gates Foundation?

‐ McMurray.
‐ Wayne.

‐ Wayne.
‐ McMurr‐‐ Let's...

Let's just slow this down okay?
I'm gonna start.

‐ And what, say nothing?

‐ McMurray.
‐ Present.

‐ Oh, there he is.
‐ Here I am.

‐ How are you now?

‐ If I was any better, Wayne,
they'd take me off OHIP.

‐ That's a good way to be.
‐ Good being's the way.

‐ Yeah? See, I knew you had it in you.

‐ And I knew that you were.

‐ I'm not gonna do this.

Say, you familiar with Don Cherry's
Pet Rescue Foundation?

McMURRAY: Oh, am I?

Man stands for our m*llitary.

‐ Oh, he's an animal lover, too.

‐ Wow. As Mrs. McMurray would say,

there's a special place in Heaven
for them cocksuckin' animal lovers.

Cocksuckin' servicemen, too.

‐ Yep. Say, let me grab
your spare pennies real quick.

‐ I happen to have me a whack‐load
of them little devils.

I started collecting them,
then they started collecting dust.

[all laugh]

Give me a second, all right?

‐ If it were any more all right,
it'll be all left.

‐ If I was any more right,
I would've left already.

Give me half a second.
‐ Okay, time's up.

[all laughing]

‐ Wayne, you old co*n hound.

You're tricky.

‐ That's likes a quarterback sneaks
for a two‐points conversion.

‐ Yeah, in lawn bowling terms,
he parked one right next to the jack.

‐ Got all these pennies, and yet the wife
still says I ain't got any sense.

[all laughing]

‐ Thank you, sir.
Say, do me a favor, all right?

‐ Literally anything.
‐ You take care.

‐ On one condition.

‐ Uh‐oh, what's that?
‐ You do the same.

‐ Your terms are acceptable.

‐ Say, my sperms are, too.

[cackles]

‐ Too much fun.

‐ Hi. We're hoping you can help.

‐ Yeah, we are collecting pennies

for a charity that is
very close to our hearts.

‐ Oh, yeah?
What's it called?

‐ [stammering] It's called
Doctors Without Board...

‐ Doctors Without Boards.

‐ Yes.
‐ Uh, did you know

that doctors are so busy saving lives

that they can't afford ice time?

‐ Uh‐huh, and, uh, Doctors Without Boards

aims to change that
because we believe that every doctor

should have the chance
to play hockey, boys.

‐ Take your tarps off, boys.
I'll donate to that.

‐ Tarps off, boys.
‐Take them off.

‐ Can you hold my hat for a second?
Thanks, bro.

WOMAN: Oh, yeah.

‐ Shouldn't... tarp.

‐ Good boys.

[pennies clattering]

‐ It's okay.

‐ Real quick!





‐ Thanks so much for supporting
the Rad Cross.

‐ Real quick.

‐ Well, I've been saving these up
in the hopes that one day

I'd have enough
to go on a pilgrimage to Bethlehem,

so that I could see the actual spot where
the Virgin M gave birth to the Baby J.

I call this my Virgin Mother Lode.

And now I would like you to take this load

in front of God and all his angels.

Take my load, Wayne.

Wayne?
Take my load in the church.

‐ Too much fun.











‐ Well...

‐ Well, she's filling up fasters
than an old persons at a buffets.

‐ Yeah, I don't want
to underestimate Katy.

She's smarter than a smart car.

‐ And they's pretty darn smarts.
‐ Yep.

Many folks in the city
as well as internationally,

believe smart cars to be quite smart.

So best keep our foots on the gas here.

[scoffs]

‐ Pennies for Don Cherry? [scoffs]
‐ [scoffs]

‐ He's a barbarian.

‐ He's been called worse,

by better.

‐ Stewart.
‐ Roald.

‐ I've been collecting pennies
my whole life.

BOTH: Have you really?

‐ Jinx. You owe me a Coke.

‐ Speaking of coke.
I'd have a snooter.

[snaps fingers]

‐ Here.
‐ [snorts loudly]

[hissing]

‐ That's the mother lode of pennies.

‐ Oh, I'd be happy
to give you my load, Wayne.

You'd have to earn it, of course.

Uh, coax it out of me.

‐ Tell you what, I need a few things done
around my place.

That would be a fair trade.

For this load.
‐ Like what?

‐ My tub needs to be recaulked.

One of the cabinet doors
in my kitchen is making this noise,

like... [sucking]

...every time you open it.

The mosquito netting
around my canopy bed has a tear in it.

The handles on my vanity are jiggly.

[high‐pitched] Jiggly.

[moaning] And my bone china...
‐ 'Kay.

‐ [in normal voice] Stewart.
‐ Roald.

‐ I hadn't finished yet.

‐ Yes, you did. I can smell it.



‐ Thanks, Gail.

And good job, boys.

Now, tarps on.

Pennies and I need a lift home.

Solid haul, Big Brother.
‐ Yep.

Well, yours is nothing to scoff at,
either. They're half‐full.

‐ Ever the optimist.

But this is clearly your year.

‐ Mm‐hmm.
‐ I'm really happy for you, Big Brother.

BOTH: How are you now?
‐ Jinx. You owe me a coke.

‐ I'll have a snooter.

‐ What's your f*cking name again?
‐ Roald.

‐ What needs recaulked?

‐ What needs re‐cocked?
‐ Caulk‐ed.

f*ck. Caulked?

ROALD: Say it again.

‐ Caulked.
‐ Say it again.

‐ f*ck's sake.

‐ Let me show you to my bathtub.

‐ How much does he have?

DARYL:
Don't know yet. Still counting.

‐ Where did these come from?
DARYL: I don't know, Katy.

Impressive works, Miss Katys.

‐ Wayne?
‐ Katy.

‐ Do you know anything
about these pennies?

‐ f*ck a duck.

Looks like you hit the mother lode.

‐ Let's keep countings.

‐ No, no. I think
we're done here. She wins.

‐ What?
‐ Are you counterfeiting?

‐ I'd counter with forfeiting, yes.
‐ Are you calling it, Waynes?

‐ Well, look at the size of her pile.

It's way bigger.
I mean, it just makes... cents.

‐ [imitating Tony Danza]
Ooh‐wee, yoo‐wee‐yooh.

‐ Well, then, it's official.

Katy wins.

‐ Big Brother,
I don't know what you did,

but you definitely did something.

‐ Well, I don't know what
you're talking about,

but I do know that
you won fair and square, again.

‐ You're a good boy.

‐ And most importantly,
more good boys and good girls

get homes as a result,

so if you'll excuse me,
I should get rolling.

‐ More hands make less work.

‐ [in normal voice] In for a penny.
‐ In for a pounds.



[A Flower In The Ending
by The Hunches plays]
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