08x17 - Death Wish

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Castle". Aired: March 9, 2009 –; May 16, 2016.*
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Bored with his success, celebrated mystery novelist Rick Castle teams with NYPD Detective Kate Beckett to solve the case of a copycat k*ller who re-creates m*rder scenes from Rick's novels.
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08x17 - Death Wish

Post by bunniefuu »

[ Breathing shakily ]

This is what you wanted.

[ Whimpers ]

Now, please, let me go.

Whoops.

Beckett: You know,
once you clean that up,

maybe we could go for
a, um, round...

Three?

Whoa.

You do not have to tell me
twice, or should I say thrice?

Good morning, my darlings!



Mother, I really wish you would
call before you came over.

Well, I don't want to risk
interrupting you two love birds

in the middle of you know what,
and it looks like I have

interrupted you
in the middle of you know...

What and with a melon.

My, my. Not judging,
but room temperature.

Mother.
I...

What...
What is it you want?

I want for my son to Grant me
a very simple wish.

Now, it seems
that my publisher says

that for my self-help book
to make the best-seller list,

I need a celebrity endorsement

and not just
any celebrity endorsement...

The endorsement of endorsements.

Mother, I would be happy to
write something for your book.

Oprah.

I need Oprah.

Uh, do you even know Oprah?

No, I do not.

Well, you must know someone
who knows Oprah, but...

If I promise to try,
will you leave?

Poof.
I am gone.

Oh, you know,
it's so funny, darling,

'cause I have
that same negligee,

but, of course,
it's in a little tiger print,

so it's [Laughs]

Well, resume
your lovemaking, darling.

Mwah!

[ Door opens ]
[ Cellphone ringing ]

Uh...

[ Door closes ]
[ Beep ]

Beckett.

Oh!

Hey, Ryan and Espo
have caught a homicide.

You want to join them?

Why?
Got a crime scene right here.

My mother just k*lled the mood.

[ Camera shutter clicking ]

Uh-huh. Yeah, okay, baby.
I'll call you later.

Reception's terrible in here.

Hey.

[ Yawns ]

Early morning or late night?

Oh!
[ Sniffs ] Both.

Jenny can't sleep,
which, in her crazy,

nine-month-pregnant logic,
means... out of solidarity...

I'm not allowed
to sleep, either.

Oh, well, could be worse.

You could be granted
the eternal sleep

like our victim, whose name is?

Lars cross.

He's a sonar technician
for an oil exploration company.

Yeah, Chesapeake energy.

Apparently, he was doing an
overseas job for them in Turkey,

but he got fired
for missing too much work.

According to his passport,

he only got back to the states
three days ago.

If he was just fired,
how could he afford

all those wonderful, new toys?

That's nothing.

Got a brand-new
Porsche 911 downstairs

that he apparently
paid cash for,

and he just leased
a safe-deposit box

at a bank down the street.

Well, detectives,
I deduce that our victim's

sudden influx of cash
had something to do

with the fact that...
He has no head!

[ Gags ] Dudes, seriously,
give a guy a heads up.

Lanie: Make way, Castle!
Oh!

[ Sighs ]

Time of death...
Between 10:00 p.m. and midnight.

Lars was strapped to that chair
with duct tape.

Perimortem bruising
indicates that he was tortured

before the k*ller
decapitated him with...

Sword!
[ Gasps ]

A Turkish scimitar?!

Ah!
I checked... no fingerprints.

It's from
the victim's collection.

Apparently, Lars is really into
the middle east.

Oh, a region known for
its sordid history of beheading.

And yet...

Lars was beheaded
here in Manhattan.

Hmm.

Perhaps Lars made the mistake

of telling the king
the ending of the story.

Am I right?

"1001 Arabian nights."

Truly, I am shocked.

How is it that none of you
know the story

of "1001 Arabian nights"?

We weren't nerds in high school.

Fair enough. Lucky for you,
class is now in session.

In the story
"1001 Arabian nights,"

a jealous king would sleep with
a new young maiden every night,

then have her beheaded
so no other men could have her.

So, it's a story about
a misogynistic serial k*ller?

No.
Well, yes, but no.

In the story,
to stop the bloodshed,

a young maiden
by the name of Scheherazade

wove a fascinating tale
for the king,

but she refused
to tell him the ending,

forcing him to keep her alive
till the next night

so she could finish the story.

She told him a new story
every night for 1001 nights

till finally,
the king married her,

which really says a lot about
the power of a good storyteller.

Yet tells us nothing about
why our victim was k*lled.

Or does it?

Our victim was tortured

because like the k*ller,
like the king, wanted something.

Well, our victim's sister
is meeting me in the precinct.

Maybe she can shed some light
on what that thing was.

I'll pull a warrant for
Lars' new safe-deposit box,

see if there's a clue
as to what our k*ller was after.

[ Cellphone ringing ]
Oh.

This is Oprah's assistant.

Um, I'll take this.

Uh, you guys...

Head out without me.

♪♪

I'll...

Be heading to the precinct
in just a little while.

Guys, these are comedy gold.

Seriously.
Hello?

Not funny.
I know.

Are you getting reception?

Thank you. Hello?

[ Camera shutter clicking ]
Yes.

Well, actually, it's not about
one of my books.

It's about my mother's.

[ Chuckles ]
No, I-i only wish I was joking.

Are you a cop?
Geez!

I don't recognize you,

and I've lived
in this building for years.

I'm actually with the cops.

I can send you the manuscript?

I know who the k*ller is.

Can you... uh, can you h-hold...
Hold one moment?

It was Lars' ex-boyfriend,
mark.

Last night around 9:00,
mark was banging on Lars' door,

said Lars owed him money and
that he better pay up or else.

H-h-hang on.

Uh, c-can I call
you right...

[ Dial tone ]
Hello?

Hello?

[ Beep ]
sh**t.

All right, where were...

We?

Where'd she go?

Ms. cross, your brother
appears to have come into

a great deal of money
upon his return to the country,

but we checked his financials,

and there's no record
where it came from.

Do you have any idea?

None.

I know for a fact he was broke
when he left for Turkey.

Did he have any enemies
at home or abroad?

No.

He got along with everyone.

Ever his ex-boyfriend,
mark?

According to Castle,
a neighbor overheard

Lars' ex yelling outside
of his apartment last night.

Did your brother owe him money?

Mark helped pay for
Lars' tuition at Columbia.

Lars never paid him back,
did he?

No.
They broke up.

In fact, getting away from mark
was the main reason

he took that job in Turkey.

[ Door opens ]

So, mark, you used to date Lars.

[ Door closes ]
Well, according to these reports,

he called the cops on you

over a dozen times
in the past year.

I sometimes get overly dramatic.

Ah.
What can I do?

I am a Pisces, but I am over
Lars, and I moved on.

[ Sighs ] Not according
to a witness

who saw you threatening him
last night.

Oh. Yes.

I threatened him...
A lot.

All right, I gave him
20 grand to get his degree,

and what thanks do I get?

He dumps me
and leaves the country.

And now he's back
two months later,

rolling around
in a Porsche, so, yeah.

I went a little mental.

Sure, if by
going "a little mental,"

you mean torturing
and k*lling your ex.

What?

Lars is... is dead?!

Oh, my...

Y-you think I did it?

Oh, g...

Lars was the love of my life.

I-I could never just...

Look, Lars was alive
when I left him.

I swear to you.

What time was that?

9:30?

I Ubered up town.

I-I met some friends at a bar

and drank away my sorrows
till 2:00 a.m.

All right, let's just,
uh, suppose

that you are telling the truth.

What happened at Lars'?

He let me in,
apologized for everything,

and said he just needed a day
to get the cash to pay me b...

[ Sighs ] Wait.
He was telling the truth?

The truth about what?

He was acting all paranoid.

He had smuggled something
back from Turkey,

and his partner thought
he had double-crossed him.

Whoa, whoa. Hold on.
What partner?

I don't know.
I don't know.

Honestly, I just thought he was
making it all up

so th-that he wouldn't
have to pay me.

I bet that pissed you off, huh?

Well, no.

I... well, yeah, I-it did,
but I didn't k*ll him!

All right, I just took
his laptop as collateral.

Is that why he was k*lled?

We're gonna need that laptop.

Mark's alibi checks out here.
He was telling the truth.

So, what do you think
Lars was smuggling?

Well, he was in Turkey,

which is the heroin pipeline
from Afghanistan.

Hmm. No.
Wasn't dr*gs.

Why not?

Because Lars was beheaded
by a scimitar.

Well, the storyteller inside me

craves an explanation
for more...

Farfetched?
Yeah.

Pirate's booty?
Cold fusion?

Alien cadavers?
No.

Those are all
ridiculous theories.

Did you say
"alien cadavers," though?

Because I saw
a documentary once...

Hey, Castle,
um, what was the name

of that woman that you
interviewed... Lars' neighbor?

I didn't get her name.

I think my unis forgot to put
her statement in this file.

I swear, most of my time

is spent
checking people's paperwork.

You're suffering from
a little buyer's remorse.

Yeah, it's one of
life's cruel jokes.

You get exactly
what you wished for,

only to find that it wasn't
what you wanted at all.

No, I love being a captain.

It's just,
sometimes it feels like

I'm more of
a kindergarten teacher.

Esposito: I'm a sergeant.
Get out of my way.

I just broke this case
wide open.

Actually, I did,
so I'll go first.

No, I think I'll go first.

Mine's bigger than yours.

[ Chuckles ]
You wish, pal.

Guys...

Play nice... indoor voices.

Espo goes first.

See, she knows.

So, I opened
Lars' safe-deposit box

and found 400 G's in cash.

Gots to be drug money.
b*at that.

Easy... got Lars'
encrypted laptop from mark,

found out what he was smuggling,

and it wasn't dr*gs.

What?

No.
Lars wasn't a drug dealer.

He was a tomb raider.

R-Ryan, can you zoom in
on that, please?

I've seen that symbol.

Yes, uh [Fingers snap]
at Lars' apartment.

You remember there was all those
books on "1001 Arabian nights."

I think that symbol...

[ Keyboard keys clacking ]
...Was on one of the books.

Yes.
Here it is.

The seal of Solomon.

"The seal of Solomon
was believed to be imbued

with mystical powers,

including the ability
to seal genies into lamps.

In the tale of
'Aladdin and the magic lamp, '

Aladdin finds a lamp
containing a genie in a cave.

Many people believe this cave

was actually
king Solomon's tomb,

which is most likely located

near the border
of Syria and Turkey."

You guys,
you know what this means?

Oh, please, no.

Come on.
The money, the Porsche.

Lars wished for them,
and his wishes were granted...

And here we go.

...by a genie!

Lars found Aladdin's lamp!

♪♪

Perfect!
Thank you, Diane.

Guys?
Ryan: Yeah?

Look at this.

These books from Lars' apartment
on "1001 Arabian nights,"

they all have
handwritten notes in them.

This one has...
Maps drawn in it.

This one has his theories of
where king Solomon is buried.

These books were his research
that he used

in conjunction with
his skills as a sonar engineer

to unearth
king Solomon's tomb...

Yeah, we're with you on that.

...and find the magical lamp
with the genie in it.

That's where you lose us,
Castle.

The only thing magical
about that lamp

is the millions of dollars
that private collectors

are willing to pay for it.

Come on, Castle.

You don't really believe
in genies, do you?

I believe that until
I hear a more viable theory

as to where Lars got
all that money

that this is the best theory
I've got.

So, a genie
is your best explanation?

Not that Lars sold
one of the items in Turkey

before smuggling
the rest back here?

Okay, it's a...
Pretty good theory.

Or that Lars
double-crossed his partner,

and that's probably where
all the cash came from.

Fine.
That's a good theory, too.

No, no, no. That's...
That's better than good.

It explains
why the k*ller tortured him.

If it was his partner,
then he would've wanted

to find out what happened
to the antiquities.

We'll look into
Lars' time in Turkey,

see if we can dig up
a connection to his partner.

Okay.

My money... it's whoever
took those pictures.

Yeah.

What do you got there?

The woman who wrote this book,
Dr. Marion Baker,

she's a professor
of middle eastern literature

at Hudson university.

We should go talk to her.

Knowing more about the lamp

will help us figure out
why Lars was k*lled for it.

You just want to find out
more about genies and wishes.

Well, yeah.

Fine, go ahead.
Meet with Dr. Baker.

Maybe she can talk
some sense into you.

Your wish is my command.

Smoke!

And he's gone.

Okay, now I'm gone.

Oh... my...

King Solomon's tomb.
Remarkable.

It's arguably the greatest
discovery in the last 50 years.

Now, this, Dr. Baker, is what
I need your expertise with.

Certainly.

Oh, you see these grooves.

They indicate it was
a wheel-made lamp

versus the mold-based ones that
became so popular in the '40s...

Uh, fascinating, doctor,
but can you skip ahead

to the part where king Solomon
seals a genie inside of it?

Ah.

Did Sidney put you up to this?

Who's Sidney?

The schmuck I b*at out
for tenure.

Dr. Baker,
I do not know Sidney.

This is not a joke.
I am very serious.

But you're acting as if
you believe in genies.

Doctor, it's not an act.

Well, the story of
"Aladdin and the magic lamp"

is a romantic metaphor,
nothing more.

Of course, but what if...
And I... and I'm only saying

what if the legend of genies
were based in fact?

Well, I certainly hope it isn't.
Genies are frightful creatures.

You're saying they're not
cheery '60s housewives

or singing blue cartoons?

I'll put it to you like this.

In Arabic, they use
the same word for "demon"

as they do for "genie."

They're dangerous,
capricious tricksters

who appear and disappear
in gentle breezes

or a whirlwind of dust.

Now, what if the master
of the lamp is k*lled

before the wishes are granted?

Well, then the masterless genie

would be separated
from its lamp.

Like a Japanese ronin samurai?

Exactly,
but the genie would be forced

to wander the earth until
a new master rubs the lamp.

Tell me more, Dr. Baker.

Oh, sure... for
the low, low price of $19.95.

Buy my book.

You don't give your stories away
for free, Mr. Castle,

and neither do I.

So, if, uh, you'll excuse me,
I have a class to teach.

- Thank you.
- Thank you.

[ Sighs ]

[ Door opens, closes ]

Dad, what are you thinking?

Lars found the lamp,

and, clearly, he rubbed it,

but that makes him
the genie's master, right?

But if no one
has rubbed the lamp since

and I were to discover it...

Then that would make me
the genie's new master.

Okay.

Let's just pretend
that all this is real.

You do realize that if
Lars was the genie's master,

it didn't work out so well
for him in the end.

What are you saying?

Be careful what you wish for.

It just might come true.

And in this case,
it might just get you k*lled.

I could really use
a genie right now.

[ Clears throat ] I would wish
that my kid was already born

and sleeping through the night.

Bro, fatherhood has made you
so damn boring.

If I had a wish,

I'd use it to become
the top MMA fighter in the world

and take home a different
hot chick every single night.

Okay, now that
I think about it...

I would wish...

That I could be a Broadway star.

Play Jean Valjean
in front of sold-out crowds,

win a bunch of Tonys.

You'd wish to wear tights

and sing show tunes
for a living?

You'd wish to wear speedos

and grapple sweaty men
for a living?

And hook up with a different
hot chick every night.

Don't forget that part.
Beckett: You know what I wish?

That my detectives would actually
get some work done for a living.

While the two of you
were on fantasy island,

I found a lead.
[ Sniffs ]

Mike Harlin.

He's a surface driller
for Chesapeake energy.

That is the same company
that Lars worked for.

He was also on the same plane
as Lars from Turkey to New York.

He's got to be Lars' partner.

I pinged his cellphone.
It's disconnected.

He's making a run for it.

And if he tortured
the location of the antiquities

out of Lars...

Then there's a good chance

that he's gonna grab them
and try to disappear for good.

Alexis?

[ Door closes ]

You.

Hey.

You broke into my office?

No, the redhead let me in.

Said I could wait inside.

You went through my desk.

To look for a pen
to write you a note.

Wow, you are
a very distrusting person.

Yes, I get that way
when I'm lied to.

Now, I don't know who you are,

but you sure as hell are
not Lars' neighbor.

I'm calling the police.

If you do, I'm out that door.

And you'll never know how
powerful of an ally I can be.

All right, you got one minute
to convince me. Go.

My name is Lindsay Dillon.

I'm a journalist
researching a story

about looted antiquities.

A source in Turkey hinted

that Lars may have discovered
king Solomon's tomb,

so I decided
to keep tabs on him.

That's when I overheard
the fight he had

with his ex-boyfriend.

So, why not tell the police?
Why lie?

Because when you've got
a dead body,

a story about stolen relics
turns from a back-page snoozer

to a front-page lead
[Fingers snap] just like that.

And though I wanted
to be helpful

to your m*rder investigation...

If you made
an official statement,

every reporter
would hear about your story,

and you'd lose your exclusive.

See?
I knew you'd get it.

That doesn't explain why
you broke into my office un...

Unless you have another lead.

We're both writers.

Let's help each other out.

Only you've got to keep me
as your anonymous source.

Deal?
Deal.

What do you got?

Lars was working with a guy
named Mike Harlin.

Yeah, we know about him already,
but he's missing,

unless you know
where he's been hiding?

No. But I do know that Harlin
used an alias while in Turkey.

Al Aiden.

This is great.

I'm gonna call this in.

Al Aiden.

Aladdin!

Yeah, that's cute.

Beckett.

Hey, I have a lead for you.

It's the... uh...

Hang on a second.

Stop that woman.

What woman?

T-the blonde woman.
The woman who just...

♪♪

How did she get past you?

Yeah, cap, front desk confirmed
an Al Aiden

checked into room 57
this morning.

We're on our way
to the room now.

[ Door closes ]

- Mike Harlin?
- Oh!

NYPD!

Hey, away from the window now!

- Okay! Okay!
- Get on your knees right now!

Okay!
Okay. Chill, man.

Interlace your fingers
behind your head.

All right.

[ Breathing heavily ]

I knew she'd lead you to me.

Who?
What are you talking about?

The genie, man!

[ Handcuffs click ]
She's out to get me.

Genies are evil.

And their wishes bring about
nothing but misery.

Uh-huh.
I see what's happening here.

The, uh, wandering ronin genie
is angry with Harlin

for k*lling her master.

That's why she prevented him
from finding the lamp.

Yeah, Castle,
the man is either delusional

or he's laying the groundwork
for some BS insanity plea.

What's your excuse?

Let's talk about Lars

and how you chopped
his head off with a sword.

No, no, no, no, no.
I didn't k*ll him.

Okay, I was at my mom's birthday
party when he got m*rder*d.

Man, check it out!

I'm sure whoever took Lars' head
off is coming for mine next.

Really?
Why is that?

I know too much.

Me and Lars,
we met on the job in Turkey.

Okay?

And then one day...

After a sonar search for
oil pockets, Lars came to me.

He was all excited.

Because he found the location
of king Solomon's tomb,

and you use your skills as an
excavator to help him dig it out.

No, no, it wasn't that easy.

We needed money
to do it safely, okay?

So Lars, he found some guy.

He offered us 250ks each in cash
to do the dig.

The catch was,
if we found something,

well, Lars had to ship it to
the guy who's here in New York.

Okay, so, who is this financier?

I don't know.

Look, the money was too good,
so I didn't ask any questions.

I-I-i wish I did, though,
'cause opening that tomb

was the worst thing
that had happened to us.

I mean [Chuckles]
the moment we took that lamp,

that genie unleashed
its vengeance, man.

You can't honestly be trying
to tell us that you saw a genie.

No, but genies can choose to appear
or not to appear to anyone they want.

That's true.

Professor Baker told me that,

and she's a doctor, so...

Look, guys, I didn't believe
in genies, either, okay?

Until my life fell apart.

I found my girlfriend
in bed with my roommate,

and then I stayed with my mom,

and my mom accidentally
threw out the duffel bag

with my 250 G's!

You know, and when I think
that things,

they... they can't get
any worse,

I found out that Lars
got his head lopped off,

and now that genie...
That crazy, evil genie...

Is after me, man!
I know it!

Okay, Harlin, I'm gonna have to
get you off the crazy train

that you're riding on right now.

Yeah, we know that the shipment
got screwed up

and... and you suspected
that Lars double-crossed you.

What? No.

No, Lars did not
double-cross me.

He got double-crossed
by the shipper.

Okay, well,
really, the smuggler.

You can't just walk past customs
with priceless relics

and expect
no one to notice, right?

So, Lars hired a guy back in
Turkey to ship the items back?

What was his name?
I don't know.

I do know. Hold on.

[ Sighs ]
I do... I do know

that he lied
to the shipper, okay?

He told him it was just
mining equipment.

The only thing was
that one from his crew

jimmied the crate
and, uh, found the artifacts.

Let me guess. The shipper
started seeing dollar signs?

Yeah, and then he demanded
400 grand... in cash...

Just to release the shipment.

That explains the cash that we
found in Lars' safe-deposit box.

Right, but how the hell
did Lars get his hands on

400,000 bucks?

Uh, don't... don't say
that he wished for it.

He probably got the money
from the financier.

But... but the one thing
that doesn't make sense is,

if Lars already had
the extortion money,

then why did
the shipper k*ll him?

Uh, don't...

Do not say that it was to gain
control of the genie.

I wasn't gonna.

Okay, I was.

But there is
another possibility.

Maybe the shipper kept
the treasure for himself.

Well, then why t*rture Lars?

I mean, what information
could he possibly want

if he already had the artifacts?

Hey, guys, any leads
on who the financier is?

No. Whoever paid for Lars'
and Harlin's tomb raiding

made sure to cover their tracks.

Well,
Harlin's alibi checked out.

Which means
that this mystery shipper

is our prime suspect.

If he was extorting Lars,

he'd have plenty of motive
for m*rder.

Okay, check in with customs.

Let's get a list
of all of the ships

that have come in from Turkey
in the last week.

If we can track down
those antiquities,

that should lead us
to the k*ller.

[ Soft music plays ]
[ Footsteps approaching ]

Hey, are you okay?

No. I've been doing some digging
into that mystery blonde.

Uh... you mean
the reporter?

She is no more a reporter
than she was Lars' neighbor.

What?
She lied to you again?

This is the real Lindsay Dillon,

a 65-year-old black woman
living in Tallahassee.

Oh. So, what's
this blonde's angle?

I wish I knew.

She lies out of one side
of her mouth,

helps with the investigation
out of the other.

It just doesn't make any sense.

Well, I mean, for all we know,

she could be
working with the k*ller,

trying to steer us
in the wrong direction.

Twice, she just vanished on me.

Vanished on me.

Castle?

Appearing and disappearing
at will,

being both deceptive
and helpful?

The mystery blonde
is Lars' ronin genie,

wandering the earth, waiting for
someone to find her lamp.

She's chosen to appear to me.

That's it.
I'm cutting you off.

No, no, no, no, no. She's...
She's given me clues, Beckett.

She wants me to find the lamp.

I think she wants me
to be her new master.

And you know what I think?

You need to call me the next time
you see her so I can question her.

I got to come up with
a wish list.

Oh, my god.
I have so many!

How am I gonna
whittle it down to three?!

That's funny.
I just have one.

What's that?

That my man
would stop talking about

being some
skeezy blonde's master

and would start talking about
taking...

[ Sets glass down ]
...His wife to bed.

Oh, well...

I don't need a genie...

To Grant that wish.

[ Chuckles ]

[ Elevator bell dings ]

Yo, hey, cap, so, we
cross-checked customs' records

with the date that harlin said
Lars shipped the antiquities.

One ship left port that day
in Istanbul,

and the only cargo
that it dropped off in New York

was a shipment to this man,
Yuruk Sezen.

He runs a rug-import business
with a storefront in Soho.

So, obviously, he's our shipper.

Yeah, we're headed there now.

Hopefully,
he still has the antiquities.

Including the, uh, magic lamp.

Uh, guys, guys?

If you find that lamp
and Castle's not there,

I'm never gonna
hear the end of it.

We'll have him meet us there.

Okay, great.
Ooh, can you just...

Can you make sure that he gets
dibs on the first rub, please?

Hm.
Mm-hmm.

Good. Thanks.
I owe you.

[ Groans ]
Can't believe I said that.

NYPD!

NYPD!
[ Door closes ]

Are you in here?!


Clear.

I'm clear.

Clear.

Looks like Yuruk skipped town.

Why are you
playing with the carpets?

I'm checking if they're magic.
Think about it.

Guys?

This carpet's bleeding.

Déjà vu.

♪♪

Check out these bruises.
Just like Lars.

Ryan: Duct tape on his
chest, wrists, and ankles.

Someone must have
tied him up, too.

So, apart from
the fully detached head,

the M.O's identical to Lars...
Tortured, then k*lled.

Well, clearly,
Yuruk's not our k*ller.

Well, the true k*ller must have
tortured Lars to get to Yuruk.

Then tortured Yuruk to get to
those stolen antiquities.

This body's still warm.
The k*ller was just here.

Castle, go call for backup.

- Wait for them out front.
- Right.

[ Dialing ]

Hey, Beckett. Yeah.

No, right now,
they're securing the back.

All right.
We'll be here.

[ Beep ]

The genie.

It's the genie.

♪♪

[ Laughs ]
I knew it was you!

You... you are not
who I thought you were.

I'm so sorry.
Have a lovely day.

[ Inhales sharply ]

[ Grunts, coughs ]

[ Winces ] Ah, my back.

♪♪

[ g*n cocks ]
Phoebe: I'm gonna need that back.

Sure.
Let me just dust it off.

Uh, ah-ah, hands!

Travis, hurry it up!
We've got company!

Who the hell are you?
- Nobody.

- What are you doing here?
- Nothing.

So you're nobody doing nothing?

Pleased to meet you.
I...

Would love to chat,
but, uh, you are obviously busy

in whatever clearly legal
endeavor you're engaged in.

Are you a cop?
[ Laughing ] No, no, not a cop.

Good.
[ Stammering ]

Whoa, whoa, whoa.
What if... what if I was a cop?

Either way, I'm gonna k*ll you.

You sh**t me, I drop this,

and it breaks
into a million pieces.

It's okay.
I've got a dozen more.

But do they have a genie?

What are you, 5 years old?

I'm sorry, pal.
I got to do what I got to do.

I really wish you wouldn't!

You are a genie!

[ Sighs ]

Come on.

I... the lamp!

But your lamp!
It's yours!

Leave it!

Couldn't you have just flown us
out of there on a carpet?

What are you talking about?

You can't make carpets fly?

Can you?

I'm not a genie.

Neither am I.

Yeah, something
a genie would say

because they're liars
and tricksters.

By that logic,

any liar could be a genie.

Well, we've caught you now,
and you're not going anywhere.

The cops are right over there.

And you're gonna tell us
everything you know.

Come on!

By the time we put a net
over the neighborhood,

the truck
and the treasure were gone,

and because you didn't
get a license plate,

we have little chance
of finding them.

It all happened so fast.

Oh, right,
and yet you did have time

to "creep over to the lamp,
examine it,

get held at gunpoint,
rub the lamp,

make a wish upon the lamp,
and have a genie appear

in a puff of smoke
and knock the 'woman thug'

over the head with a 2x4."

You forgot the part where
it was dark and super dusty.

Castle, you're just lucky

that Lanie was able to pull DNA
off Yuruk's body.

Did she manage to get a match?

No, but she was able

to determine that the k*ller
was a female.

Most likely the woman
holding me at gunpoint.

Or your magical, blond genie.

The one only Castle's seen.

Mm.
Wait a minute.

So, neither of you believe me?

Oh, no, bro,
I-i do believe you.

I actually... I was able
to ID the genie

based on your description.

Good work.

♪♪

[ Both laugh ]

Laugh it up, you guys.
I still have two wishes left.

I'm not above using them
for evil.

- Dad?
- Ah, Alexis.

Good, great.

Tell these guys am I not crazy
for believing in a genie.

And before you answer,
remember, I spent six months

making an extra lunch
for your imaginary friend.

Really?
Guys, I was 7, but you're not crazy.

The mystery blonde is real.

Thank you!

But she's not a genie.

Her name is Genevieve Sutton.

She has an office
on second Avenue.

She's listed
as a security consultant.

A fixer by the sound of it.

Now, how did you get
this info, Alexis?

Well, after dad left,
I dusted his desk for prints.

Got a little help from Hayley,

who ran them through
the DMV database, and voilà.

So she's not a genie?

Sorry.

Genevieve is short
for "genie."

I-I mean, seriously,
if she can Grant wishes,

a-a-a driver's license,
that would be a piece of cake.

Mm-hmm, but why would
a genie want to do that?

Oh, seriously, who cares?

Make-believe time with Castle
is over.

We're gonna bring in Genevieve
and find out the real story.

[ Sighs ]

Someone need some ice cream?

Me.
Yeah.

Beckett: Castle, what...
[ Door closes ]

You may have everyone else
fooled, but not me.

Castle, let me in.

I am your master.

I command you
to tell me the truth.

Castle!
Are you a genie or not?

Can you let her in?

Because you're seriously
weirding me out.

I'm gonna take that as a maybe.

I would apologize,

but his behavior
is the least of your worries.

You are accused of two homicides

and connected to
the theft and trafficking

of millions of dollars
in antiquities,

so your best bet
is to start talking.

Look, I didn't k*ll anyone,
and I was trying

to keep the relics from
falling into the wrong hands.

And I would've, too,
if I hadn't had to save your...

Reality-challenged husband.

I prefer fantasy-augmented.

Uh, what do you mean
by "wrong hands"?

Lars was hired to excavate
the antiquities

in order to protect them.

Hired by who?

An anonymous benefactor.
Let's call him Mr. X.

With the Syrian conflict threatening
to spill over into Turkey,

Mr. X became concerned that
Solomon's tomb would be destroyed

or worse, looted and the relics
sold to fund terrorism.

And you know all of this how?

Mr. X retained my services
in order to ensure

Lars recovered
the artifacts from Yuruk.

But instead, Lars ended up dead.

Unfortunately.

The night
that Lars was m*rder*d,

I was pulled away
on a false lead.

When I got back,
the cops were everywhere.

So I targeted Mr. Castle

as a way to learn
what the police knew.

I don't suppose you got
the license plate of that truck

as you were... saving me?

No.

But I did before I saved you.

State police
just found the truck.

We're tapped into a live feed
from a rest stop outside of rye.

Man ♪1:
We've got eyes on the truck.

Man ♪2: Do you have
confirmation of passengers?

Affirmative. Two passengers...
Male and female,

fitting the descriptions
of the suspects.

[ Cellphone rings ]
[ Beep ]

Oh, hey, babe. Sorry, it's not
really a good time right now.

What?

Uh, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah,
I-i will be right there.

Um, hey, guys...

Jenny's having the baby.

Oh!
That's awesome, man.

Yeah, that's great!
Go, go!

Call me, bro.
Yeah!

Hold on.
Suspects are exiting the truck.

Do we have a green light?

Affirmative.

NYPD! Get down!
g*ns, g*ns!

[ g*nshots ]

Woman:
Captain, what's your status?

Male suspect is down.
Medic is treating him now.

We have the female suspect
in custody.

This is Captain Beckett.
Is there anything in that truck?

Affirmative.
I count 11 crates.

Genevieve said
that there would be 12.

I bet I know
which crate is missing.

Where's the lamp, Phoebe?

You've got one chance
to help yourself here.

Now, we know
you didn't k*ll Yuruk.

Traffic cams put you
and the truck

on the other side of the city
when he was m*rder*d.

And that makes you and Travis
little more than the hired help.

So I'd do myself a favor
and start talking,

beginning with
who you delivered the lamp to.

I might be hired help,
but I ain't no rat.

I want a lawyer.

I know my rights.

DNA confirms
that our k*ller's a woman

but someone with resources
and connections,

not this flunky.

A k*ller who knew Lars,
a woman who...

Would risk losing
the entire shipment

for the ultimate prize...
The lamp.

And I know just the person
to lead us to it.

Dr. Baker, thank you again
for coming to see us.

Well, how could I resist

when you told me you found
the genie from Aladdin's lamp?

[ Chuckles ] That was
a little bit of a white lie.

Yeah, see, we were looking back

over Lars' school records
from Columbia.

It turns out he actually
audited a class of yours

at Hudson university
a few years back.

I have hundreds of students
every year.

I'm afraid I can't
remember all of them.

That's strange. Your TA
remembers that you and Lars

would meet regularly
during your office hours.

In fact, he said that
you guys met the morning

that Lars returned from Turkey.

Now, Lars, I'm sure,
shared the discovery

of the lamp with you,
knowing that you

of all people
would appreciate its value,

but what he wasn't counting on
was your professional jealousy.

[ Scoffs ]
Why on earth would I be jealous?

You've been searching
for king Solomon's tomb

for over 15 years.

We talked to the dean
of your department.

He told us about your obsession.

How it ruined your marriage
and nearly destroyed you.

That is not true.

Because you never found
that tomb.

Now, that must have been
a bitter pill to swallow,

knowing that Lars used all
of your hard-earned research

to find something
you never could.

And now he was gonna get
all the fame and fortune

that you never would.

Mr. Castle, you really do have
an overactive imagination.

You could no more prove
that story you just spun

than you could prove
that genies come out of lamps

and Grant three wishes.

Actually, that's not true.

Uniforms searched your home.

They found the lamp.

I guess you're as good
at hiding treasure

as you are at finding it.

Dr. Baker, you're under arrest
for the m*rder of Lars cross

and Yuruk Sezen.

[ Handcuffs rattling ]

You better watch out, Castle.

I may have to steal your blonde.

I still have two wishes left.

All the rubbing in the world's
not gonna do you any good.

[ Elevator bell dings ]
Can I get a "that's what she said"?

[ Laughs ]

Oh, who's that?

Beckett: Prince Khalid Hasheim
of the Jordanian royal family.

He's here to bail out Genevieve.

Methinks we've found
our mysterious Mr. X.

Beckett: Prince Hasheim,
I'm Captain Beckett.

This is Mr. Castle.

Or perhaps we should call you
Mr. X?

Mr. X is my employer.

He paid me to protect
the contents of Solomon's tomb.

Right, well, I don't know
this gentleman,

but anyone who helps protect
the history of my region

is to be applauded.

Of course.

So, what's gonna happen

to the antiquities
and the lamp now?

Well, I'm no expert,
but given the way

that they entered the country

and their connection
to a m*rder trial,

they'll be tied up
in legal battles for years.

Oh.
I'm sorry to hear that.

I'm sure that Mr. X
will be very disappointed

considering he worked so hard
to procure them.

I don't know about that,
Captain.

If one wished to keep
priceless history safe

from looters and t*rrorists,

there is no better place for
them to wait out the conflict

than in the basement
of the Smithsonian.

It was a pleasure
meeting you both.

Come along, genie.

Here we go again.

That...
She was... that...

So, I just got off the phone
with Ryan.

There's been some complications
with Jenny's labor.

Hey.

Everything was normal, uh...

Until Jenny started
hyperventilating.

She lost consciousness.
[ Sighs ]

Doctors think it might be
a, uh, amniotic fluid embolism.

But they're... they're trying
to stabilize her now...

So that, uh...
They can deliver the baby.

We're here, bro,
whatever you need.

Thanks.

Thanks.

I should get back in there.

Let's settle in.

Hey, so, um [Chuckles]
obviously, I don't believe

in genies or wishes,
but just in case,

I was wondering if you could
one of your wishes

for Jenny and the baby.

I already did.

Both of them.

Okay.

[ Door opens ]

Hey.

Hey.

Uh, doctors... they stabilized
Jenny, and...

...she delivered
a healthy baby boy.

- Yes!
- Whoo!

[ Laughs ]

What's his name?

Oh.
His name is Nicholas...

Javier Ryan.

Aww.

[ Laughter ]

Tell me you spelled it right
on the birth certificate.

Aww, I want one, too.

[ Laughs ]

So, if you see that,
uh, genie again,

you mind telling her
I said thank you?

Oh, I think I'm all done
with genies.

What?

Why the change of heart?

Well, because of you, of course.

Oh, really?

So, after eight years,
some of my common sense

has finally rubbed off on you?

No. No, no, no,
nothing like that.

Um...

I have no need for genies
simply because

I already have everything
I could ever wish for.

I...

Right back at ya, handsome.

Oh, wait, um, so,
you wouldn't even wish for

a working lightsaber?

[ Inhales sharply ]

Nope.

Okay. Transporter,
like the ones in "Star Trek"?

You would never
have to fly again.

I like flying.

Huh.

Time machine?

Only to go back and fall in love
with you all over again.

Wow, that was a good answer.

I know, right?
[ Laughs ]

Make way, daddy.

[ Laughs ]

How's Jenny?

Oh, she's exhausted.

[ Laughter ]
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