11x02 - Blood Wedding

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Midsomer Murders". Aired: March 23, 1997 to present.*
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Based on the crime-novel series by author Caroline Graham, `Midsomer Murders' follows the efforts of Detective Chief Inspector John Barnaby to solve crimes that occur in the wealthy, isolated English county of Midsomer.
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11x02 - Blood Wedding

Post by bunniefuu »

WOMAN SCREAMS

(GROANS)

Bear down.

Push.

Push down.

(GROANS)

BABY CRIES

BABY CONTINUES CRYING

g*nsh*t

BABY GRIZZLES

(SOBS)

Don't worry.
I'll take care of things.

It was a difficult birth.

The child came close to death.

Not close enough.

Everything all right?

Everything totally wonderful.

Got the ring?

Lost it in a poker game. Sorry.

She's late.
Probably decided not to come.

Who can blame her?

ORGAN INTRO

♪ WAGNER:
Wedding March From Lohengrin

MUSIC STOPS

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here
today in the sight of God...

(SIGHS) I can't see a bloody thing.

What?
There's far too much net.

I'm gonna fall on my face
as I walk down the aisle.

I sincerely hope you don't.
You'll be holding on to me.

What are you doing down there?

Just unpicking a couple of stitches.

You sew them back in
on the wedding morning.

(GROANS)

"To do when weather turns nasty
by the backs."

What?
It's a crossword clue, love,

and it is holding me up.
Yes, well,

you have to have a certain
sort of mind to like crosswords.

Intellectual press-ups, eh?
Cully, I need to talk to you.

No!
No! No!

Did he see?
No. In, out - you were a blur.

I hope not. Oh,
it's terrible bad luck if he did.

CHEERING

Pretty girl, Fitzroy male,
a roll in the hay -

all part of
the natural order of things.

CHATTER

CHATTER STOPS

Thank you.

Now, I know I'm supposed to make
a terribly witty speech,

but I think I'll have to leave
the jokes to Randall,

because all I can think about

is how disgracefully happy I am...

..and how lucky,

and how thankful that Beth agreed
to become my wife.

So there stands before you
a very happy, lucky, thankful

and hopelessly tongue-tied man.

To Beth.
ALL: To Beth.

LAUGHTER

Are you having a good time, Mary?

Yes, I am, thank you, Master Harry.
Very.

You enjoyed the wedding breakfast?

Never ask a cook
what she thinks of the food.

All a bit overdone, I expect.

WOMAN: Oh, you naughty thing!

(GIGGLES)

I've put my passport somewhere.

Downstairs, I think.
Don't worry, I'll find it.

Why Venice?
Why not?

I wouldn't have thought
it was Ned's sort of thing, really.

Churches, paintings,
streets full of water.

It was my choice.

And he said,
"Heaven is where you are."

Something like that.

You took your time.

He must have proposed over times.

It wasn't Ned, it was just
the whole business of being married.

Marina,
this can't have been easy for you.

It's all in the past, Beth, really.

Look, thanks for helping.

Do you mind if I...
I'd like a moment or two to myself.

No, of course. Sorry.

No, wait.

Something borrowed, something blue -

in this case, the same thing.

Keep it. Honeymoon present
from the maid of honour.

Oh, can't.
Wouldn't be borrowed then, would it?

Marina. Are you all right?

Fine. Yes, I'm fine.

And Beth?
Oh, seventh heaven.

♪ LIVELY ROMANTIC
STRING QUARTET MOVEMENT

Bastard.

Open your mail this morning,
Mr Colquhoun?

This isn't the time.

Yes it damn well is.

It's been taken care of.
I told you that.

Yeah, you did, repeatedly.

I stopped believing you
six months ago.

These things take time.
Do they?

Well, your time just ran out.

You're the estate manager, Lawson.

An employee.

Are you telling me to know my place?

That's exactly what I'm telling you.

CREAKING

MUSIC AND CHATTER

Harry, have you seen Beth?

You haven't lost her already,
have you?

Is he still...
Don't worry, I can handle it.

Look, Randall, those IT shares.

I know they don't look too smart
just now, but they'll recover.

You just have to hold on...
I am holding on, Randall.

Fingertips. Skin of teeth.

CHEERING

Right, we're leaving now,
but you don't have to.

CHEERING

WOMAN: Bye!

Have a great day.
All the best!

Bye!

What if somebody sees us?

We'll say we got lost.

No.

(SCREAMS)

(SCREAMS) Oh, no!

New Zealand. Southern Lakes.

Horse riding, jeep safaris,

bungee jumping. I don't think so.

Rock climbing...

Your father and I went bush walking.

Aren't there snakes?

No, no. No snakes in New Zealand.

Spiders?
No spiders in New Zealand.

Cully...
You didn't tell me that.

Tell you what?
No snakes, no spiders.

I spent the whole time
looking for them.

That explains why you weren't
admiring the scenery.

Apparently, there are glow-worm
caves in Te Anau. I forgot.

Someone's gonna have to pick up the
Order of Service from the printers.

I'll do that.
Really? What about work?

Joyce, my only daughter
is getting married.

Naturally, I want to be involved.
Anyway, it's very quiet.

The godless of Midsomer
seem to be taking a break. Cully!

About the honeymoon.
MOBILE PHONE RINGS

Bit of a snag.

Hello, Jones.
What kind of a snag?

Right. Er...sorry.

Well...

..it's good news and bad news.

It's just bad news, isn't it?

When?

I'll meet you there.

And you're telling me this now?!
I'm really, really sorry.

Done a head count?
I've asked for a guest list.

At least , though.
Oh, only suspects (?)

That's good.

I'm sorry, sir,
I have to ask you to clear the area.

Damn it, I won't be told where
and where not to go in my own house!

Is there a problem?
I tried to tell him, sir.

Who the hell are you?
Detective Chief Inspector Barnaby

from Causton CID, sir,
and this is Detective Sergeant Jones.

And you, sir, are?

What? Harry Fitzroy.

And are you the owner?
The owner?

The Fitzroy family has owned
the house for nearly years,

so I suppose I'm the owner (!)

Well, you don't own this bit of it,
sir. Not at present, anyway,

because it is now a crime scene.

So I'd be very grateful if you would
er...leave the area, please.

Myself and Detective Sergeant Jones
will need to talk to you later on.

Thank you, sir.

I've been getting a lot of this
upstairs-downstairs stuff, sir.

George.
Hello, Tom.

Old families have a lot of weaponry
around the place, don't they?

Very handy.

The Kn*fe went in...
just below the sternum,

missed the spinal column

and skewered her
to the wooden panelling.

No fingerprints.
Absolutely nothing from forensics

except...

What's that?

It's a feather.
From a goose quill.

But look, the edge is rounded,
cut to shape.

And there's a touch of grey,
which isn't natural colour.

Fletching, Tom.

Oh, it's the flight from an arrow.

Ah, Sally. Did you call Ned?
They're on their way back.

Good. Now get rid of
those pesky policemen.

How?

I don't know! You're the
housekeeper, keep house! (GROANS)

Randall,
what in God's name happened?

It was an accident, surely.

Sir Edward Fitzroy?
Yes.

Sir, I'm Detective Chief Inspector
Barnaby from Causton CID.

Just wait, would you?

Sir Edward...a m*rder
has been committed in your house.

I am the senior investigating
officer, I need to talk to you.

Slowly! Easy, easy.

Slow down.

(WHIMPERS)

Marcus.

Now...I gather my guests
are being interrogated.

That's unacceptable!

They're not being interrogated,
they're being interviewed,

and it is necessary.
Is it? Why?

I don't number murderers
among my friends.

Sir, a woman has been m*rder*d
in your house.

Therefore it follows
there must be a m*rder*r.

Someone masquerading as a guest.
A... An opportunist thief.

Marina...surprised him,
he k*lled her.

Well er...I'm glad to have
your theory, sir, thank you for it.

But er...you won't be offended
if I keep an open mind, will you?

Well, you just do
what you have to do, Barnaby.

Just try to be unobtrusive,
and leave the family to itself,

if you wouldn't mind.

If I could start with you,
Mr. Coll-kee-hown.

Mr Coll-kee-hown?

(SCOFFS)

It's pronounced Cuhoon.

You're the best man, I gather.

I was.
A friend of the family, then.

No, sworn enemy (!)
What do you think?

Look, we have family matters
to discuss.

Do we really have to do this now?
Yes.

And I'll also need to talk
to the vicar who was just here.

Who, Uncle Marcus?

But I'm happy to start with you
and Mr Corky-hown.

Why didn't you tell me before?

I suppose...
I needed to think it through.

(SCOFFS) Yeah, sure.

Well, thank God you're telling me
now and not after the wedding.

I thought it best
to be honest about things. Yeah.

And?
Cully, I'm sorry.

Yeah...so am I.

If there's anything I can do.
What?

As far as I can gather,
the victim was well liked

and had an unblemished past.

What about the guests?
No leads so far.

Not very talkative, are they,
the Fitzroys?

Old families, Jones.

In a house this size,
there are many cupboards...

..and many skeletons.

Have you spoken to the staff?

There's a housekeeper,
there's a cook,

and apparently, there's
an estate manager - Robin Lawson.

Right, you talk to the staff,
I'll take the Fitzroys.

Oh, yeah, I know my place.
Good.

Mm!

Nightcap.
Diet buster.

What was it, then?

Simon's snag.

The band have got a gig.

Headlining at some massive stadium
in Germany.

He wants us to stop off
in Dusseldorf

on the way to New Zealand.
What, a couple of days?

A week.
A week? Mm.

Well...it is the band.

He's thinking of the future.

So am I.

BIRDSONG

Good sh**ting!

It comes with practice.
I'm sure.

I see you're using the er...
traditional English longbow there.

We fought at Agincourt and Crecy.
The longbow won us those battles.

By us, you mean the Fitzroys?

By us, I mean the English.

And you're a Fitzroy yourself now,
aren't you?

I've known the family a long time.

I sh**t with the Men of Crecy.

Pardon?
My husband's longbow club.

Oh. Can anyone join?

Actually, I was looking for
Mr Robin Lawson, the estate manager.

Oh, he's got a cottage
annexed to the east wing.

He'll be out on the estate
somewhere.

Thank you. Er...

Marina Fellowes,

she was your maid of honour,
wasn't she?

You would know her as well as anyone.

And?

And you'd know
if she had any secrets.

Secrets?

Well, everyone has secrets.

By the way,
I'm going up to London later today.

I'm going to be staying the night.

I hope that's allowed.
I'd like to see Marina's parents.

Weren't they at the wedding?

Her father's an invalid.
Her mother's his carer.

I spoke to them on the telephone,
but...

OK. Fine.

Please.
Oh.

My last words to her, cross words,
and all over nothing at all!

You're right, it was nothing at all,
so you mustn't upset yourself.

Oh. Sorry.

Er...
I'm Detective Sergeant Jones...

(SOBS)
..Causton CID. Can I have a wo...?

(SOBS)

Marina thought the lamb
was underdone,

Mary got defensive, they had a row.

She seems to have taken it to heart.

It was a week ago,
something and nothing,

but Mary couldn't seem to let it go.

So, Detective Sergeant Jones,
how can I help?

Well, I need to ask you questions.

Wedding, followed by reception -

I was busy all day,
mostly with the caterers

or checking the flight to Venice
was on time.

I didn't see Marina
after the wedding breakfast,

apart from the occasional glimpse
in passing.

I assume it was an opportunist thief
and she just caught him at it.

You believe that?
I don't know quite what to believe.

Would you like a coffee?

Er... Yeah.

Yeah, me too.

MAN: They got it in the post
this morning.

Yes, I spoke to Colquhoun.
He's rattled, they all are.

Look, I've got to go,
there's someone at the door.

Mr Lawson? Mr Robin Lawson?
Who are you?

I'm Detective Chief Inspector Barnaby
from...Causton CID.

With or without the search warrant?

I'm sorry,
you must have heard me knock.

Did you hear me say come in?

What do you want?
It's about Marina Fellowes, sir.

I want to know about your movements
yesterday, please.

Er... Where were you?

I went to a wedding.

I wonder if there was anything
that you saw, you heard,

that might shed some light
on the m*rder of Marina Fellowes.

Can't help you. Sorry.

(SIGHS) I wish I could.

Did you know her well?

I knew her.

She was a lovely girl.

Oh, I see you're one of those.

I mean er...

one of the Men of Crecy.

I'm their fletcher.

They let me sh**t with them
sometimes.

What, the Fitzroys?
There's an honour for you (!)

Um...

A piece of feather...was found
by Marina's body.

Same pattern as this.
Yeah?

There's broken feathers
all over the place.

How long have you been
estate manager here?

Too long.

And what is your relationship
with the Fitzroys?

We're not required
to tug our forelocks any more,

if that's what you mean.

How long have you worked
for the family?

Just over a year.

It was good pay,
good working conditions.

Good employers?

Demanding, but I expected that.

Was there any friction between
Marina Fellowes and the Fitzroys?

No, she was Beth's closest friend.

There was...

Well, there was something between
Marina and Marcus.

The vicar?!
Sort of.

Marcus has had the living here
since he was ordained.

The Fitzroys priest
is always a Fitzroy.

And he and Marina...

Well, it was before I came here.

They were an item for a time,
Marina broke it off.

It seems Marcus was very bitter.

LAUGHTER

The Men of Crecy.

They like playing lords and serfs,
don't they?

What makes you think it's a game?

Tom, where are you?

It's the rehearsal
and you're not here.

'Simon's not here.'
Joyce, this is a m*rder enquiry.

minutes, at the most,

just to make sure you know
what you're doing on the day.

It'll have to be minutes.
You say Simon's not there?

Do you know where he is?
'No-one seems to know.

And Tom, that's not all.'

I felt the wind of that.

Bodkin point,
grey and white barred fletching.

Yours, Robin.
Sorry.

That yours, was it? You were
a long way off target, weren't you?

Looks like the nock's uneven.
It's caused me to release early.

I thought you people were experts.

The arrow's badly finished.
It happens.

Yes, well, no harm done.

Amazingly effective, longbows.

th century, w*r against the er...
Welsh, actually.

Report of a man at arms
being struck by an arrow,

went straight through his iron
leg armour, through his leg,

through his leather tunic, through
his saddle, k*lled his horse.

LAUGHTER

BETH: Bloody good story.

Imagine how lucky I feel.

Some accident!
That was way off target.

Robin Lawson's arrow...
had a barred flight.

Just like this.

It's just like the fragment
we found.

TYRES SCREECH

You're in trouble, mister!
She'll understand.

You don't know my daughter
as well as you think.

DOOR OPENS

Where the hell have you been?
Sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry. I forgot.

I was at a meeting in London
about the German gig.

As soon as I remembered... It was
a really important meeting, Cully.

More important than our wedding?

No, of course not.

I called your mobile times.

Oh, yeah, I...forgot to charge it.

Battery's dead.

Cully, I really am...
MOBILE PHONE RINGS

(SCOFFS)

Cully!

I seem to recall,
when you spoke to me earlier...

..you said "that's not all."

The caterers rang. It seems
they've gone out of business.

They've done what?
They're broke. Bust. Down the drain.

I blame you.
Me? What did I do?

You just booked the cheapest caters
you could find.

Typical.

Unless you can come up with
a small miracle,

we're gonna have guests
sitting down to an empty table.

Detective Sergeant...
I know.

It's a terrible business.

Poor girl.

I'm told you had a row with her.

I don't like to think about it.

What was the row about?

It was silly.

I suppose I don't take kindly
to being told my job.

Lamb should be pink.
Bloody, she called it.

I got a bit high and mighty.

Wish I hadn't.

I'm also told that the
Reverend Marcus Fitzroy and Marina

were romantically involved.

You mean they had an affair?

People will gossip.

Is it true?

True enough. True as it was
for her and Sir Edward.

Sir Edward the bridegroom?
It was a while ago now.

Marina was always staying here
at the hall.

Then he put an end to it.
Devastated, she was.

I reckon she took up with
the reverend on the rebound.

Why? Why did Sir Edward
put an end to the affair?

She loved him,

he loved Beth Porteous.

Love hurts.

So I'm told.

Well, thank you.

RABBIT SQUEALS

For the pot!

They're married now. Next thing,
there'll be another heir.

You've got to claim what's yours.

Good timing, though.

Solicitor's letter on the day of the
wedding making mention of the will.

Cat among the pigeons.

You should have done it long ago.

It's your right.

Your birthright!

What are we gonna do about Lawson,
Randall?

The man seems determined
to make trouble.

He only wants money, doesn't he?
Only money?

We made him an offer,
he turned it down.

Tell him to go to hell!
Oh, do shut up, Harry!

If it wasn't for your stock market
adventures, we could buy him off.

Something's got to be done.

It's a family matter,
I will not have it made public.

Ned, leave it to me,
I'll find a way.

Yes, do that. Whatever it takes.

It's bad enough having the police
poking their noses into everything.

Whoever k*lled Marina chose
a seriously inconvenient time.

He was always keen on her,
wasn't he? Lawson.

Always mooning around her.

Well, she was something of
a family favourite.

Did you get anything useful
from the servants' quarters?

It seems Marina Fellowes
had a fling with Sir Edward

before taking up
with Marcus Fitzroy.

The vicar?!
The vicar.

It's typical of the upper classes.

If it's not fox hunting or polo,
it's sex.

Oh, by the way,
me being an usher and so on -

what time do I need to be
at the church?

You must ask Lady Barnaby that.
Everything going smoothly?

Oh, bride and groom not speaking,
catering non-existent,

general air of panic.
(LAUGHS) Yeah?

Yes!

We have a Kn*fe wound
to the abdominal wall.

The blade driving through,

glancing off the lumbar vertebrae

and into the wooden panelling
behind her.

First indications are that
she d*ed of hypovolaemic shock.

No surprise there.

It would take a good deal of strength
to do that, wouldn't it?

Are you thinking her attacker
was male?

Yes.
Not necessarily.

Adrenalin rush is a powerful thing.

Hell hath no fury...

..like a woman scorned.

He won't be pleased.
The honeymoon's on hold,

so he's taking the opportunity
to sit for his portrait.

It'll take its place
in the Great Hall.

We just put photos on the sideboard.

I specified no visitors.

They're not exactly visiting, Ned.

Must there be two of them?

Well er...I need to clear
a few things up with Miss Fielding.

OK.

I'm busy, as you can probably see.
Yeah, I'm sorry.

It's actually your brother
I want to speak to.

Well, I've no idea where Harry is,
or if he'd speak to you.

You're having a bit of a problem with
the procedure, aren't you, sir?

It is not optional.

And the same goes for all of you.

My family and friends have already
given you a good deal of their time.

Time, a little.

Information, hardly any at all.

For example, no-one told me
that Marina Fellowes

once had a relationship with you,

and then later on
with your uncle Marcus.

These are family matters, Barnaby.
It's none of your damn business.

Sir, this is a m*rder investigation.

Everything is my business.

That arrow that narrowly missed me
this morning

belonged to your estate manager. Yes?

It was Lawson's fletching, yes.

Anybody else use that fletching?
No!

We each have our own, all different.

Anything else?
Yes.

When you next see your brother,
you tell him to call me.

I'll try to remember.

Tell him!

Er... Now, I'd very much like to see
your Uncle Marcus,

if somebody would deign to tell me
where he is.

(SIGHS)

Mea culpa!

Mea culpa!

(SOBS) Mea culpa!

Mea maxima culpa.

Mea culpa!

Mea culpa.

(SOBS) Mea culpa.

Mea maxima culpa!

Argh! (SOBS)

(SOBS) I loved Marina so much.

We were engaged.

As good as, anyway.

And I thought...
perhaps she'd get over Ned.

And then...I could make her happy.

But...but then she ended things.

She said she couldn't pretend.

It was the worst thing
that's ever happened to me.

And if I couldn't have her...

..why should anyone else?

And then...

..I did a terrible thing.

Marcus,

are you telling me
that you k*lled her?

Of course not!

How could you think such a thing?

How long has this been going on?
A while.

Where does she take the stuff?
No idea.

And you haven't reported her?

Well,
it's an upstairs-downstairs world.

And where do you stand?

On the landing.

Do you think the row really was
about how the lamb should be cooked?

What, do you think that Marina
found out that Mary was stealing?

She could have lost her job.

People have k*lled for less.

But she was in tears over Marina,
you saw her.

Good subterfuge, perhaps.

You've got a very suspicious mind.

I'm a police officer.
Suspicious mind is on my CV.

I'll see you soon.

(GASPS) Oh, how wonderful!

Yes, that's Peggy Benson's cottage.

She was cook here at the Hall
before Mary.

So why would Mary steal food
for Peggy Benson?

Well, they were friends
for one thing.

And the Fitzroys weren't generous
to Peggy when she retired.

So, you said you had some things
to clear up with me.

Oh, no... Well, we were...hoping
to have a word with Harry Fitzroy.

Harry?

I haven't seen Harry all day.

He might have gone to see his bank.

Problems, I think.

Harry's been investing rashly.

I think the tips came from Randall.

Tell me about Mr Coll-kew-hown.

He and Ned
were at St Malley's together.

I think Ned came to rely on
his financial advice

when his parents d*ed.
Mm.

So, Randall and the Fitzroys
are close.

He's almost a member of the family.
Very protective.

Mm...

You know, there was something
between him and Robin Lawson

on the morning of the wedding.
What?

A solicitor's letter came.

Normally I'd open anything
not marked "personal",

but Randall swooped on it.

Later, I saw him and Robin arguing.

You think the two events
are connected? Who knows?

So...any more questions,
Detective Sergeant Jones?

Yes.

What time do you get off work?

In about an hour.
Pub in the village?

Yeah. Lovely.

They got your letter all right.

It doesn't seem to have made
any difference.

You've got to push 'em,
push 'em hard.

Well, you're the solicitor,
you tell me.

ENDS CALL

Er...no, this coming Wednesday,
actually.

Mm, I thought you might say that.

OK, thanks. Bye.

It's going to be fish and chips
at this rate.

Very nice.

"To do when weather turns nasty
by the backs."

What?
It's driving me...

Tom! We have a wedding
on the brink of disaster!

This is by way of a sedative, Joyce.

I'm every bit as concerned as you are
about Cully, Simon and the catering.

We could try Porter's.
They look after us at the station.

Divisional parties,
leaving dinners...

It's police catering!

Steak and chips, black forest gateau
and a stripper.

We don't have strippers. Please
yourself, I'm just trying to help.

Are you sure
I can't give you a lift home?

No, that's my taxi.
Oh, OK.

Do me a favour.

Call me when Harry Fitzroy gets back
from wherever he's gone.

Oh, so, I'm a police spy now.

Is the pay good?
No, it's terrible.

I might have guessed.

MOBILE PHONE RINGS

Hello?

Oh, hi.

Er... I was at the pub.
I was just leav...

OK, sure. Yeah, I'll get you one in.

Not now, Lawson.
I want to see Sir Edward.

Unavailable. Sorry.

This is the last time of asking.
Yes?

Oh, that's a relief.

Everybody gets nervy
before their wedding day.

It's tradition.

It's like...black cats
and drunk uncles.

Yes, well,

how traditional is it for the groom
to make a mess of the honeymoon?

Not uncommon, I should think.

You know what I mean.

I can see it's disappointing,
and I can see you're upset

because he seems to be putting
business before you,

but maybe he IS thinking about you,
your future.

Yeah, you see,
now you sound like my dad.

Ah.

Sorry about that.

Look, you wouldn't have got this far

if you didn't really care
about each other.

People do.

Not you, Cully.

Yeah.

Yeah, you're right.

So...do you know anything about
Dusseldorf?

Happening place, definitely.

Ben!

Ben!

Ben!

Come!

BARKS

Ben!
BARKS

(GROANS)

SIREN

Time of death?

Early morning. Around : am.

Whoever k*lled him
was a brilliant sh*t.

The arrow went between
the third and fourth rib

and pierced the heart.

He was dead
before he hit the ground.

Sir Edward.
Wait!

Beth, it's me.
I don't know where the hell you are.

Something dreadful's happened.
Call me when you get this, will you?

This is an appalling state of
affairs! What steps are you taking?

Step one is to ask everyone
staying at the Hall

to remain available for questioning.

That includes your immediate family,
Sir Edward.

Shouldn't I be talking to
your superior?

I gather that the body was found
by your under-gardener,

who came immediately to you.
Yes.

You went to the scene,
you saw the body. Yes.

The arrow that k*lled Mr Lawson...
It's a swallowtail broadhead.

It's a hunting arrow, used for big
game mostly, deer and the like.

Remind me, what is your rank?

And the...fletchling, is it?

Fletching. It's called parabolic.

Red and yellow.

Is there a member of the Men of
Crecy who uses that fletching?

My wife, actually.

So...a top table,

and then individual tables

with six guests.

Did you remember to order
the vegetarian option?

Oh, yes, all taken care of.
Are you sure? There's quite a lot...

Oh...my...God!

Family Barnaby, I presume?
Yes.

It's frightfully drab
and utilitarian.

(GROANS)

Fill the place with white roses.

Since we're in
a geographical black spot,

I had hoped for
a little rustic charm.

Excuse me, would you mind telling us,
who are you?

I am Maurice.

Your wedding organiser.

Wedding organiser?

Didn't you think I could cope?
Don't look at me.

Simon asked me
to come to the rescue.

I have a certain reputation
in show business circles.

The thrones
at the Beckhams' wedding.

DIALS NUMBER

Well, will you tell him
or shall I?

Don't you be too hasty.
We've got the catering problem.

Simon?

I can't get a signal in here.

Maurice, there is something
you might be able to help us with.

We've got a little problem
with our caterer.

I only ever use Clarke & Butler
of St James.

They feed all my people.
We are working to a budget.

(WHIMPERS)

Well, all right, I can beg them
to keep it down to ã a plate,

but I mean...
ã ?!

I'm sorry,
visions only come in silence.

Unless, of course,
you wish to say something.

Well, actually, Maurice, I do.

I'll speak to you later. Bye.

I'm sorry, Joyce. I just wanted to
make things less stressful for you.

Less stressful?
Have you met Maurice?

Cully told me.

Well, I'm glad the two of you
are talking.

(SIGHS DEEPLY) Weddings!

Nothing but headaches and anxiety
right up to the day.

No, I haven't told anyone.
'Well, it's a big decision.'

Of course it's a big decision!
Do you think I don't know that?

I just...

I don't want to make a mistake
I'll regret for the rest of my life.

'I've got to make a decision
by tomorrow.

What am I gonna do?'

Well, you're gonna have to
say something.

I know.

I know. I have to tell him.

CREAKING

I have to go.
ENDS CALL

What the bloody hell
are you doing here?

Investigating a m*rder.

And since this is
the victim's house,

I'm inclined to ask you
the same question!

That would be my affair.

Mine too, and I'd like an answer.

Oh, for God's sake. Look, Lawson
was an employee of the family.

He has no living relatives and we're
acting as executors to the will.

That's what I was looking for.
Find it?

No. He d*ed intestate,
which means further complications.

Where have you been for the last day
or so, Mr Fitzroy?

Away on business.

Private business.

Look, are you allowed
to interrogate me like this?

I'm allowed to question you, yes!

I'm also allowed to note the fact

that you seem very reluctant
to answer.

Oh, I see.

Well, I went to London
to see my accountant.

Stayed at the Savoy, as I always do.
All right?


Mr Fitzroy,

don't go missing again.

Please!

Sorry (!)

I'm sorry, Jones, I couldn't
get any signal where I was.

Georgie Bullard gave me the details.
Right, now,

get everyone to stay on site.
I've done that, sir.

Good.
Try and establish whose arrow...

Lady Fitzroy's.
Lady Fitzroy's?

Find out where she is.
Still in London,

not answering her phone. At least
that's what we're led to believe.

But Harry Fitzroy's turned up,
hasn't he?

Where had he been hiding?
Good question.

I thought I was here alone.

I heard a noise.

Came to look, and there he was.

What reason did Harry Fitzroy give
for being here?

He said he was looking
for Lawson's will.

What do you make of this?

Look. There's something on the back.

Nice looking woman.
Yeah.

"Cast no sin here."

What's that supposed to mean?
I've no idea.

It's not a recent photo, is it?

Look at the way she's dressed.
And the hairstyle is...

What are you doing?

The Fitzroys were a Catholic family.

There was a time in this country

when the saying of mass
was punishable by death.

They used to hunt down the Catholics.

Are you looking for a priest-hole?
Yeah.

How did Harry Fitzroy manage
to pop up out of nowhere, eh?

CLICK

That's how.

CREAKING

Sometimes priest-holes
weren't just hiding places,

they were connected to a tunnel.

An escape route.

Which is exactly what we've got here.

So would the tunnel
go back to the house?

Yeah.
MOBILE PHONE RINGS

Hello.

Oh, hi.

Jones, I would prefer it if your
relationship with Miss Fielding

were on a professional basis.

Yes, sir.

I'll have to call you back.

Right.
KNOCK ON DOOR

OK, I'll um...
I'll speak to you later.

ENDS CALL

What are you doing up here?

Oh...you know. My room.

Childhood memories.

New life.

Cully,

I do love you.

I love you, too.

(GROANS)

Can you manage?
Yes!

Thank you.

Hard going.
People were smaller in those days.

That explains how the k*ller
could clean up the room

and then leave without being seen.

Lawson - the fragment of feather.

How very careless of him.

Yeah, it was planted
to incriminate him.

Could be.
Nobody mentioned the priest-hole,

but someone must have
known about it, surely.

Yeah. A priest, for example.

TYRES SCREECH

RAPID HOOTING

Oh! M'lady returns.

If she ever went away.

Yeah, it is a rather obvious arrival.

Now, Jones, you stay with them.
Hey...use the short cut.

BETH: I told everyone
I was visiting Marina's parents.

What if he calls them?
Well, I DID visit them.

For about five minutes.

Ned's been going crazy.

LENS CLICKS

No. No, of course I understand.

Yes. Bye-bye.

I'm at my wits' end.
Why?

The wedding is tomorrow,
we've got guests and no food.

Tom, what are we going to do?

Porter's.
What?

Porter's.

I told them to be on standby. All
you've got to do is give them a ring

and they will go ahead.

Oh, thank heaven.
No stripper,

but there is...there is...

cream of stilton and broccoli soup,

roasted peppers... Oh, well.

The poached Scottish salmon,
the ballotine of chicken

and wild cherry
and honeycomb parfait.

What we planned - the original menu.
And they'll do a deal on the wine.

You are a genius.
That is true.

MOBILE PHONE RINGS

VOICEMAIL

SIMON: 'Cully, I've been trying
to get hold of you. Are you OK?

Give me a call when you get this.'

I phoned Tom. There's no answer,
so I left a message.

Me too.

Time of death?
Recent.

About half an hour.

Improvised w*apon.

Who found the body?

The housekeeper from Bledlow Hall,
sarge.

Sally? Where is she?

In the back garden.

Sally!

Sally.

I was told you found the body.

I thought she was asleep.

And then I saw the blood and the...

Why did you come here?

To tell Peggy there wouldn't be
any more deliveries.

I mean, I didn't mind really,

but since Mary's pilfering
had been noticed...

Ben, as I was arriving,
someone else was leaving.

Go on.

A car going down the lane away from
me. I couldn't see who was driving,

but it was a black Porsche.

Randall's car.

I'll be back, OK?

Randall Colquhoun's car
observed leaving the scene, sir.

Arrest him.
On my way.

Old families...

..old secrets.

What do you want, you oik?

Yeah, that's me all right.

No class, no breeding,
no coat of arms.

Definitely no old money.

SLAMS CAR DOOR

An oik.

But I'm a police officer...

..and I'm arresting you
on suspicion of m*rder,

Mr Coll-kew-hown.

(SIGHS)
MOBILE PHONE RINGS

Is he talking?
Only to ask for his solicitor.

Hey, look at this.

This is the one we found
at Robin Lawson's place.

And this is the one
Peggy was looking at

just before she was m*rder*d.

It's the same woman.
It is indeed.

"Cast no sin here."

Was she the sinner, I wonder?

DIALS NUMBER

Hi, Joyce!

I've been trying to get you
on your mobile.

Yeah, I'm sorry, I was driving.
Ssh!

Why, what's up?
Cully.

She's on the sofa.

Simon's been trying to call her
on and off since she got back.

She won't speak to him.

I don't know if there's gonna be
a wedding tomorrow.

Can you talk to her?

Hiya, Cully.

It's late.

Almost your wedding day.

I'm in trouble.

Well, it's a very, very big step,
Cully.

And if you've got any doubts,
any doubts at all...

No, no, it's not him, it's not
Simon. It's not any of that.

Well, what is it?

The Three Sisters.

At the National.

My agent called to say
I was up to play Natasha

and they wanted me to audition.

When was this?
This afternoon. Did you get it?

Well, hooray!

Rehearsals start in a week.

Ah.
Exactly.

And you haven't told Simon.
No.

Oh, I've been trying
to scrape up the courage, but...

OK, Cully, love,

you might not get to New Zealand,
but this is a marriage...

..not a holiday.

Maybe it's just as well
this happened now, not later on.

Your career, his career -

you'll know where you stand
from the word go.

You both have your careers

and you're both determined
to pursue them. Well, that's great.

No-one is fooling anyone.

And that sounds to me
like a good start to married life.

(LAUGHS)

Oh, Dad, we've just been
getting at each other recently.

Getting married
can really mess things up.

Has it?

No.

I love him.

I really do.

Perhaps you should tell him.

You're right. I will.

In person.

It's past midnight.

Wedding day.

I finished your crossword.
Did you?

Oh.

"To do when weather turns nasty
by the backs."

It's "wear the mac."

The word "turns"...
Ah, yes, it's an anagram.

I should have got that.

Anagram of "weather" is "wear the"...

The Backs is that stretch of river
behind the Cambridge colleges.

River Cam.
Turn "cam" around, you get "mac",

and what do you do?
Wear the mac.

Oh, very, very clever.

No-one would believe
you were once a blonde.

SMACK WITH PAPER

Oh, for crying out loud!

"Cast no sin here."

What?

"Cast no sin here."

That too, blondie, is an anagram.

(No! No!)

You're supposed to be...
At home, yes.

Look at this.

The Lady Catherine Fitzroy.

The woman in the photographs.

This is a history
of the Fitzroy family.

And in the Fitzroy family...

..the first son
is always called Edward,

shortened to Ned. And the second son

is always, always Henry,

shortened to Harry.

In the present generation, there is
no third son, but if there were,

he would be a Robert,

shortened to Robin.

Do you remember the writing on the
photograph at Robin Lawson's place?

"Cast no sin here."

"Cast no sin here"

is an anagram for "Catherine's son."

Robin Lawson.
Yeah.

That was an inscription,
a coded inscription

from a mother...to her love child.

So he was k*lled...

Why?

It's got to be for...for inheritance,
property.

There's a lot more questions we've
got to ask the Fitzroy family.

MOBILE PHONE RINGS

WOMAN: Really!

And you're absolutely positive
about that?

That's great. Thank you.

Sir, when I was up at Bledlow Hall,

I saw Harry Fitzroy and Beth
kissing.

Wasn't just a hello kiss, was it?
No.

So I took a picture of them.
I took several, in fact,

and sent a couple to the Savoy.

Why didn't you tell me all this?

I used my initiative, sir.

I also wrote a report,
it's on your desk.

But perhaps you were busy
with the wedding.

What was the phone call?
The manager of the Savoy.

The girl that was staying there
with Harry Fitzroy was...

his brand-new sister-in-law.

Oh!

Pay a visit, Jones.

Drop a heavy hint
that you know all about the Savoy.

Spread a little panic,
you're good at that.

What time is it?
After .

You slept late.

I was up till the small hours
talking to lawyers.

God knows why
Barnaby had Randall arrested.

He was seen
driving away from Peggy's cottage.

A car like his was seen, that's all.

God! Marina, Lawson, now Peggy -

what the hell's going on?

Ned, I'd like to get away
for a while.

We will. Just as soon as this
wretched business is cleared up

we'll pick up where we left off.

On our honeymoon.

In the meantime...

..come back to bed.

So Simon doesn't mind
about the honeymoon?

Oh, no. Open ticket,
so New Zealand will always be there.

Short and sweet.
Hm?

Short and sweet - my speech.

(CLEARS THROAT)

Cully - a: beautiful,

b: best daughter a man ever had...

Are you doing the love,
honour and obey stuff?

Have you heard of feminism?
I stack the dishwasher.

I have agreed to "with all
my worldly goods I thee endow."

Chances are, I'll come out ahead.

All your worldly goods.

Now there's a thought.

DIALS NUMBER

Jones, where are you?

On my way to the Hall.
'I'll meet you there.'

'Yes, sir.

ENDS CALL

DOOR CLOSES

Did you expect to get away with it?

You think I didn't know
what you were doing?

None of that matters any more.
Time for a simpler solution.

Stop this, for God's sake!
Get away from me, you whore!

No!

CLANGING

Stay!

Henry Fitzroy, I'm arresting you...

Sir Edward Fitzroy, I'm arresting you
for the murders of Marina Fellowes,

Robin Lawson and Peggy Benson.

Eh?

When did it begin, then, your affair?

Look, are you going to charge me
with something?

Attempted m*rder, probably.

And the as*ault of a police officer.

It wasn't an affair.
We loved one another.

Beth! (GROANS)

You married his brother.

He proposed to me a dozen times
or more, and in the end...

In the end,
you decided to accept him.

And the motive was money. Am I right?

Cos you were flat broke -
made very bad investments.

A marriage of convenience.

The old families specialise in that.

And after a while,
the marriage would break down.

Well, you'd make sure it broke down.

And then you would get
a very handsome divorce settlement.

And then, after a suitable
interval of time had elapsed,

you and Harry would suddenly discover
your true feelings for each other.

But Ned found out about your
relationship, didn't he? Yes.

God knows how.

He wouldn't let her go.
Divorce isn't done in our family.

So you decided
you'd have to k*ll him.

What would you have said?
That it was self-defence?

That IS what I'm saying.

Well...there it is.

Family.

Family honour.

You k*lled Marina Fellowes
because she found out

that your brother and the woman
who'd just become your wife

were lovers.

JONES: Marina was in love with you,
wasn't she?

She saw them.

She went back to take Beth
her passport and they were...

making love.

Beth and I had been married
for precisely three hours.

Marina asked me
what I planned to do.

And you said?
Nothing.

I said I would do nothing.
It would have been a scandal.

And anyway...
You were in love with Beth.

Had been for years.

She was married to me.

And she would stay married to me.

But then Marina decided
to force the issue, yes?

I persuaded her that we should
find somewhere...private to talk.

I saw them, Ned!

I went back with her passport
and I saw them!

They were screwing.

Your new bride and your brother.

She's a whore. She doesn't love you.

But I do.

I always have, you know that.

Marina,
you must tell nobody about this.

Nobody, you understand?
This is family business.

Really? Soon it'll be everyone's
business because I'll tell them.

You mustn't do that.
Why?

You fool!

She only wants your money!

All I want is your love.

I knew that if I simply did nothing,
went away on honeymoon,

she would...tell people
what she'd seen.

I pretended...

And then you left by the passage
from the priest-hole.

Is that when it first occurred to you

to try to implicate
your half-brother?

How did you know that?

Your mum d*ed tragically
and prematurely, didn't she?

But I imagine she left a will.

Was Robin Lawson named
as a beneficiary in that will?

No-one has any recollection
of such a will.

No, they haven't.

Even so, Robin Lawson wanted
a piece of the estate, didn't he?

And he was getting quite insistent
about that because...

he had found the will.

I thought leaving the feather
was rather a...clever stroke.

There's broken feathers
all over the place.

He realised one of the family
had set him up.

It made him even more vengeful.

That settles it. It's time...

..time for the truth to come out.

He was threatening to reveal
he was my mother's bastard son.

Ben! Ben!

Come!
BARKING

Ben!

JONES: And then, of course,
Peggy Benson had to die.

She was the village midwife -

the only person outside the family
who knew about the child.

Don't worry.

I'll take care of things.

They both lived on the estate.
She brought him up, really.

Loved him like a mother.

She knew he was pushing his claim,

and encouraged him
to take it further.

It's your right. Your birthright!

'Another heir would have put him
even further out in the cold.'

BARNABY: Canny old girl, Peggy.

She would have guessed that
Lawson was k*lled to shut him up.

So you decided
she had to be silenced, too.

I just couldn't take the risk.

So, you k*lled her...

..simply to protect the family.

The family.

Yes, of course.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

You did take some of the netting
out of this, didn't you?

Quite a lot.
If you say so.

Cheers, everyone.
ALL: Cheers!

Good luck.

Sir.

Police bail.

Sir Edward Fitzroy's greatest friend.

The confidante. One of the elect.

You knew... You have no proof
of anything, Barnaby,

which is why I'm being released.

Your car was seen
leaving Peggy Benson's house.

You'd hoped to get there in time
to stop Sir Edward k*lling again.

You knew he was the k*ller,
didn't you?

You knew the truth
about Robin Lawson.

You knew why Peggy had to die.

You, sir,
knew everything about everything.

But you said nothing.

You really believe, don't you,

that the normal rules of society
don't apply to people like you.

We are the old families of England.

We own most of the country's land
and its wealth,

and have done for generations.

And we make up our own rules.

But not the rule of law, sir,

which you're gonna find out.

Sign just here, please.

BARNABY: 'Joyce, I'm on my way now.'
Well, I should hope so.

The cars will be here
in half an hour.

'Tom, we can't find the Orders of
Service. Where did you put them?'

Er... I've got them with me.

Oh, he's got them.

The flaming Orders of Service.
I've forgotten the Orders of Service.

To the printers, quick!

(GROANS)

Well, that's just perfect, isn't it?

What now?

Desktop publishing
would have been my choice.

Oh, thank you! Thank you very much
for your insight, Jones (!)

They're there! Look! I can see them!
They're in that package. Barnaby.

The wedding car will be at my house
in minutes.

We could break in.
Break in (!)

Could you?
Got a credit card?

Yeah.
Snick-snick, take the package,

close the door behind us.

I'm not watching.

(GROANS)

Er... Sir.

I don't know
whether to be sad or glad.

Go away!
Go away, I'll call the police!

We ARE the police!

DIALS NUMBER

RINGING TONE

Can you be given away
by your mother?

MOBILE PHONE RINGS

Oh!
Aren't you going to answer it?

I'm damned if I do,
damned if I don't.

I've got minutes.
I'll see you at the church.

No! I need the car.
What do you mean?

I'm an usher,
I'm supposed to be there before you.

SIRENS

Hello, sir!

Troy!

You were on the wrong side
of the road!

Well, only for a moment or two.

Nothing changes, does it, Troy?
Sorry, sir.

Bit of luck running into you,
though.

Thought I was gonna be late
for the wedding.

See you at the church, Troy.

DOOR SLAMS

Tom! Jones has taken
the rest of those down to the church.

Where on earth have you been?
We're gonna be so late!

I know. Don't worry, Cully, they
can't start without us, can they?

CHATTERING

Cold hands.

See you later.

Right, are you all OK?

Detective Inspector,
it's nice to meet you.

Yeah, and you.
Dr Bullard.

He's good.

MOUTHS: Thank you.

OK, if you'd like to go through.

You sure about this?
Yes.

Absolutely sure about this?
Yes, I'm sure.

Beth! Beth, for God's sake, wait!

You were going to k*ll him,
and I was going to betray him.

All in the name of love.
What about Ned? He DID k*ll.

For you.
Not really.

It was to save the family honour.
What a joke!

Look, Beth, he's going to go
to prison for m*rder.

It's the perfect grounds
for divorce.

Divorce?! Are you serious?

I'm Lady Fitzroy now.
I'm a rich woman.

Families are great, aren't they?

Some are. Some are not.

Help me with this.
Oh, yes.

Just the first one.

♪ WAGNER:
Wedding March From Lohengrin

You OK?
I can't see a bloody thing.
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