[somber music]
[metallic squeaking]
[thunder rumbling]
CHILD: [giggling]
[cracking sound]
‐ Huh!
‐ Anna, stop!
[laughing]
I'm not scared.
[eerie music]
CHORUS:
♪ Ooh ♪
♪ Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ♪
‐ Hey, guys.
‐ Hey.
‐ Hey, there.
KRISTEN: Hey,
what's the rush, slick?
[muffled arguing]
DANIEL:
Betty Ann's up tonight!
CURTIS: You're not gonna
characterize me that way.
It's not gonna happen.
GARY: I told him Betty Ann
does really weird stories...
And he's been looking forward
to it ever since.
KRISTEN: Ooh, pressure's on.
This better be good.
BETTY ANN:
I'll see what I can do.
[arguing continues]
‐ They, like, do this
sometimes, it's like...
‐ Oh, my God, no, I'm‐‐
love this show.
I'm watching it.
[show continues in background[
It's so good.
‐ Okay.
DANIEL: Siesta time, man.
Ahh...
MAYA: So scary.
[arguing continues]
BETTY ANN: Most people think
dolls are just toys,
but they're really like
perfect little people.
And it's almost as if
the dollmaker took a person
and shank him down
to doll size.
[object shatters]
But that's not how dolls
are really made.
‐ [whispering]
Anna, should I come?
ANNA: [whispering] No.
It's okay, you can stay.
‐ No, do you want me‐‐
BETTY ANN:
Submitted for the approval
of the Midnight Society...
[shouting continues]
KATHY: Talk to me like
you aren't some jealous d*ck.
CURTIS: The point
I was trying to make is
you don't bring in a paycheck
by doing "riee‐kay," okay?
KATHY: [shouting]
It's reiki, assh*le!
There you go!
You know, you're an assh*le.
I married‐‐
CURTIS: We both know that
people are getting laid off
at my job, and you said
you wanted to help...
KATHY: You make me so mad!
CURTIS: And you're not helping!
You're the one that wanted
a divorce.
KATHY: No!
CURTIS: Yes!
KATHY: [quietly]
We agreed that we didn't
want to be together.
‐ [normal voice] No, no, no,
no, no, no, no.
We said it was a separation.
We said it was a separation!
KATHY: You're not going to
put this on me!
CURTIS: And you're making it
impossible for me
to live with you!
KATHY: No, you don't
get to do that!
CURTIS: I'm talking!
[bang, thud]
You broke my
dead mother's teacup!
What is wrong with you?
KATHY: [screaming]
Shut up!
Shut up!
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
[both laughing]
[both exclaiming, laughing]
‐ Oh!
Are you okay?
‐ Yeah, yeah.
‐ Are you okay?
‐ Oh, yeah, are you okay?
‐ [laughing] I'm okay.
MAYA: Ha...ha...
ahh...
[both panting]
‐ [exhales heavily]
‐ Oh, my God, Anna.
Wait.
‐ What?
‐ There were five leaves here
a second ago.
Now there's only three.
[rustling through leaves]
‐ Maya, stop.
You did that.
‐ No, I didn't do that.
Literally, a leprechaun
came in here‐‐
I'm not even kidding you‐‐
and took two leaves away.
‐ Maya, stop!
‐ Anna!
Swear on my life
I'm not doing anything.
Have we never talked about
the little green man
that lives in the forest?
Swear!
Look...
five twigs‐‐
one, two, three, four, five.
He's gonna come by
and take it.
‐ Where is he?
‐ You have to close your eyes.
You have to close your eyes.
‐ Don't touch it.
‐ I'm‐‐
Hands are behind my back.
Hands are behind my back.
My eyes are closed.
[gasps]
Oh...
my God!
Anna!
‐ Maya...
‐ I did not do anything!
‐ I heard you...move...them.
‐ The little pitter‐patters?
That was his feet.
That was the green man's feet.
Swear on my life
he lives here.
I'm not even kidding.
Is this magic?
Like are we freaking
in magic right now?
[gasps]
‐ Stop!
‐ Did you not see the smoke
that came out of my mouth?
I'm a freakin' dragon!
‐ Go again.
Maya, stop!
‐ Get away from it.
‐ It almost caught me.
‐ It won't touch you.
I have a magic shield
covering your face.
‐ And when I do it,
it doesn't work‐‐look.
‐ I'm sorry, I have that pow‐‐
‐ So your‐‐your powers are
stronger than mine right now.
‐ It's a natural skill.
‐ Bring me to it.
[intoning]
Bring me to it!
[chanting]
Bring me to it!
Haa‐aa‐aa‐aa‐aah!
Haa‐aaa‐aaaa‐aaaa‐‐
SINGER: ♪ I ♪
♪ I am hiding ♪
♪ The you I show to you ♪
♪ Is just a lie ♪
♪ You take what you want ♪
♪ You get what you take ♪
[vocalizing]
ANNA: Maya.
MAYA: What?
‐ I'm stuck.
‐ Hold on.
‐ I'm stuck.
‐ I'm gonna send you powers
so the jeans that trap
your ass fly off!
‐ Oh, my God, Maya!
‐ Stop!
‐ Maya, Maya, Maya.
‐ Stop, Anna, Anna.
‐ Don't do that
without telling me.
‐ I sent too many powers
to your ass.
‐ Yeah, but you have to
tell me next time.
‐ I know, I didn't want to
surge too much power
in your ass.
‐ I could get k*lled
by this tree.
‐ [laughing]
‐ Seriously...seriously.
‐ No, I know.
‐ I know it's crazy and new,
but I'm dead serious.
MAYA: I know!
[Anna sighs]
You think your parents
are gonna keep splitting
the house in half?
‐ Um...
[sighs]
Maybe.
Probably.
We're, like,
still a family, so...
ANNA: Aah!
‐ Aah! Stop it!
JK, JK.
‐ No‐‐Anna, no.
‐ [gasps]
‐ Anna, no, no.
‐ [softly] Oh, my God!
‐ No, stop it, Anna!
‐ I was joking, but look!
‐ Stop it!
‐ This is in the tree.
MAYA: Stop!
ANNA: Oh, my God!
MAYA: Don't let it get away.
ANNA: Get it Seriously.
‐ Okay.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Stop, stop, stop!
‐ What? Stop?
‐ Why is there fricking
paper in the tree?
‐ Paper comes from trees,
you nut.
‐ Or, what if it's...
‐ [whispers] What?
[gasps]
What if it's‐‐
‐ Yeah.
What if it's‐‐
‐ It's Wendy Rochelle Vicanny.
[wondrous music]
Wiccany.
Knock, knock, anybody home?
‐ What?
‐ It's Mother Witch.
It's Mother Witch.
‐ No, I know, but Anna,
that's a V, not a W.
‐ Maya, are you out‐‐
‐ That's a‐‐
‐ Are you serious?
‐ Yeah!
‐ Come on!
In Germany,
they pronounce Vs as Ws.
Viccany is an alias
[whispers] for Wiccany.
She has to just have that...
‐ Oh, my God!
‐ To protect herself
with signs and codes.
‐ And‐‐and things like this...
‐ Yes.
‐ Like Vs...
‐ And she left this
for us to know
that this is all real,
and this is a sign.
‐ Oh, my God.
‐ Hi.
[laughs]
‐ [softly]
Hi, Mother Witch.
‐ With her power
and her guidance,
we can ask for all the shite
we want in the world.
Anything we want!
[wood cracks]
Aah!
‐ Oh, my God!
‐ Anna, Anna‐‐
‐ Did you do that?
‐ Stop‐‐I swear
I didn't do that!
I didn't do that.
Did you do that?
‐ No.
‐ Anna, you did that!
‐ I didn't‐‐oh, my God.
It's Mother Witch.
She did that.
‐ Anna, stop, stop, stop.
‐ Oh, Maya, Maya, Maya.
‐ So that means she's here
and she wants us to do this.
‐ And she wants us to get
anything that we want.
‐ Whatever we want.
‐ [whispers] Whatever we want.
Oh, my God.
‐ [laughing] Oh, my God, stop!
‐ Oh, my God‐‐okay.
‐ [humming]
‐ What do we wish...
BOTH: [chanting] For?
What do we wish for?
Rah, rah, rah.
What do we wish for?
Rah, rah, ree.
ANNA: Go Maya.
‐ Go, go, Anna, go!
‐ Go, Maya.
‐ I wish for blonde hair!
‐ Go, Maya.
‐ I wish for more money!
‐ I wish for my dad
to be home!
‐ I wish I wasn't a problem!
‐ I wish for a bigger house
and no body hair!
‐ Only one at a time.
I wish for white jeans.
And that the closet
never happened with Brandt.
‐ You just said one at a time.
For our omikochan
to smell better!
‐ I wish I had my period.
‐ I wish for a group
of friends that love us!
‐ I wish for peace everywhere!
[birds chirping]
‐ Wah, wah, wah, wah‐‐
YUKI: [speaking Japanese]
Maya.
BOTH: [speaking Japanese]
‐ Mom.
‐ Hmm?
‐ If you were
in Sophie's Choice
and you had to pick
one of us to die,
who would you pick,
me or Shuji?
You have to pick.
‐ I'll pick myself.
‐ No, that's not the point.
You have to pick a kid.
That's like...what it is.
‐ Well, she'd obviously
pick you to die,
'cause she loves me more.
She's loved me a year longer
because I'm a year older.
Dill hole.
‐ "Dill hole"?
Mom, is that true?
‐ Shuji...
[speaking Japanese]
‐ Okay, I knew it.
So you do love Shuji
more than me.
You'd pick me to die.
Is that what you'd do?
You'd pick your only
daughter to die?
Guys.
It's okay.
I don't really care,
'cause I have powers now, so...
I can reverse that easily.
[rhythmic moaning]
[moaning, gibberish]
[spouting gibberish]
Mom, look at me!
You clearly love Shuji more
if you're not gonna even
look at your own daughter
in the face.
‐ [mouthing word]
‐ [laughs] Mommy!
Stop!
You guys, stop ignoring me.
[clattering]
‐ Hello?
MAN: Hello!
‐ Daddy!
Oh, my God!
Daddy!
‐ [laughing]
‐ They were ignoring me!
‐ Ah, oh, my tour ended early.
YUKI: You didn't even tell me.
FRED: [stammering] It's noth‐‐
I'll tell ya later.
YUKI: Are you sure?
‐ Oh, yeah, yeah, we're good.
I should leave home more often.
‐ My powers...
[chatter continues]
I'm a witch.
YUKI: Everything okay?
FRED: No, I'm good, I'm good.
YUKI: Okay.
‐ [laughs]
[soft, dramatic music]
♪ ♪
[phone rings]
[ringing]
‐ Can I get it?
[ringing]
[beep]
Hi, you've reached
the Kones'.
This Anna.
Who'd you like to
speak to, please?
MAYA: Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Anna, it's Maya.
Anna, oh, my God, it worked.
My dad is home.
ANNA: What?
‐ Yeah, he just came home.
‐ Wait, wait, what?
‐ And my hair is more blonde
on one side.
It's crazy, like...
has anything you wished for
happened?
‐ [whispering]
Oh, my God!
Um....
‐ Think about it, 'Na.
This is really serious.
'Na.
‐ Um...
‐ Swear to God, wish again.
Wish again.
‐ Okay. [small laugh]
Oh, my God.
‐ Oh, my God.
[utensils clattering]
[whispering]
Hold on.
I wish my parents
were back together.
‐ Can you pass the salt,
please, Kathy?
‐ [annoyed]
It's right next to you.
[heavy music]
MAYA: Anna?
Anna.
[Maya uttering gibberish]
‐ Sorry, no, I'm here.
Um...it didn't work.
‐ Oh, my God, okay,
I just did a spell
for you to hear me.
That's freaking crazy.
Okay, on my end, it's working.
You probably just, like,
need to strengthen your powers
or whatever,
and then, like, we can get
anything we want.
'Na, we're witches.
‐ Okay, last night
I made a spell book.
‐ Oh, my God.
‐ We can get anything we want.
‐ Okay, okay.
So with this book...
‐ Yes.
‐ My power...
who should we cast
the spell upon to?
‐ Big smelly bush.
‐ Okay, weakling.
‐ [speaking gibberish]
‐ No!
‐ Anna!
‐ Maya, what are you doing?
You might only have
a limited amount of energy.
You have to choose carefully.
Think about it.
‐ Yeah, but what
are you thinking
catching it
with your bare hands?
‐ I have a invisible
energy glove that repelled it.
And it can also pull
your farts out of your butt.
‐ Anna, no, I don't wanna
fart in class!
‐ Okay, sorry.
‐ Okay, let's get serious,
though.
‐ Okay.
‐ If we have a limited
amount of magic...
‐ Right.
‐ What do we want?
Think about it.
‐ Oh, my God.
‐ Oh, my God, don't look up,
though
[muttering]
SINGER: ♪ La la la la la la ♪
♪ La la la ♪
♪ La la la la la la la la ♪
♪ La la la ♪
‐ I really, really, really
wish that I never loved Alex.
‐ Really?
‐ We're on and off
all the time,
and I‐‐just like
my biggest nightmare
is ending up like my parents,
so...
‐ Yeah.
‐ I'm gonna do
"I never loved him" spell.
‐ Okay.
‐ Oh, my God!
And then you could also do
a "hex the assh*le" spell
for Brandt.
‐ Oh, 'cause Brandt's
an assh*le for me.
Or...
I could do a love spell
for me and Brandt.
Because think about it.
If he was my boyfriend,
then no one would be saying
the stuff they're saying to us.
‐ Mmm.
Got it.
You're insane.
‐ [sarcastically]
I'm inthane?
Okay, fine.
I'm doing a love spell
for me and B.
‐ Okay. You have your spell,
I have mine.
[Veruca Salt's Seether]
ANNA:
Okay, we'll need lovage,
rosemary, rose petal,
violet, and yarrow.
♪ ♪
SINGER: ♪ Seether is neither ♪
MAYA: Pluck hairs from
your head and hairs
from your lover.
Twist them together.
SINGER: ♪ Seether is neither ♪
ANNA: Melt your ex‐lover's
cloth.
SINGER: ♪ Black or white ♪
♪ I try to keep her
on a short leash ♪
MAYA: A lover's lace
tied in a devil's knot.
[hisses]
SINGER:
♪ To ram her into the ♪
♪ Ground ♪
ANNA: The fingernails
of a weak virgin.
Psst!
[whispers]
Can I clip your nails?
‐ [whispering]
No.
SINGERS:
♪ Can't fight the seether ♪
♪ Can't fight
the seether ♪
‐ Does Vendy Wiccany
say anything
about needing a Brandt doll?
ANNA: A what‐‐
Uh...no.
♪ ♪
[end chords]
‐ [softly]
Yes, of course.
Just a touch.
Brandt, stop!
[laughing]
Stop!
Ugh.
We haven't had friends
over in a while.
Isn't this nice?
You couldn't help
but come over, could you?
♪ You're a wriggly boy ♪
♪ Wriggle into my heart ♪
♪ I love you ♪
[objects clattering]
♪ I love you ♪
[light clattering]
[whispering]
Vichaliani potroachi
louder‐o‐‐
KATHY: Mm...I don't know.
Is this crazy?
CURTIS: Probably.
It's not like I've fallen
out of love with you
in just a couple of weeks.
We fight, you know?
We're fiery.
‐ [chuckles]
[whispers]
Yes.
[softly]
Yeeeessss!
[unsettling music]
ANNE: Maya, the sun
is at 176 degrees north.
‐ Okay, it's almost high noon.
It won't work
if we don't do it now.
‐ Yeah, I know what it means.
‐ We gotta go.
‐ I know.
[claps]
[rhythmically]
Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm.
Hmm.
Get ready, she's here.
‐ Okay.
She is?
‐ She's here.
BOTH: [whispering]
Vendy Rochelle Wiccany.
[continue whispering]
Vendy Rochelle Wiccany.
[louder]
Vendy Rochelle Wiccany.
Vendy Rochelle
Wiccany.
[girls hooting]
ANNA: She's here.
MAYA: She's here, she's here.
BOTH: Brethren of all energy,
heaven and hellions,
Mother Witch.
Bring us Mortimo in reality
which all of us revel in.
‐ Alex, love‐o, anti.
BOTH: Bendicular‐ano.
Bingo.
Macho nacho wilacho freakano
table‐dora,
bring my love Brandt
and his fedora.
Bring my love
Brandt and his fedora,
for my lover's soul cloth.
For the lover who betrayed you,
his cloth for the lover
who betrayed you.
ANNA: [humming]
MAYA: His cloth for the lover
who betrayed you,
his cloth for the lover
who betrayed you...
KIDS: Shh...shh!
His cloth.
[Anna stops humming]
MAYA: Stay out, weaklings.
ANNA: Just keep going.
MAYA: Stay out!
‐ What are you doing?
‐ You're not allowed in there.
‐ I'm gonna hex you.
‐ Tattletale bitch.
‐ Like honestly,
I have to if you don't‐‐
[deep voice]
We're trying to do a thing!
‐ Aah!
BOTH: [overlapping gibberish]
‐ Gah, shilaylay pumpano!
‐ Go back, be bald,
shilaylay pumpano!
BOTH: Shilaylay pumpano!
ANNA: Shilaylay pumpano!
‐ Ah‐ah‐ah‐ah‐ah‐ah‐ah‐‐
NEWTON: Someone's getting
the principal.
ANNA: All of you, leave!
‐ Aah! Aah!
Gah‐gah‐gah‐gah‐gah‐gah!
‐ Ah‐ah‐ah‐ah‐ah‐ah‐ah‐‐
[shouting gibberish]
MAYA: Ohh!
[both chortling wildly]
Aah!
Shilaylay pumpano,
shilaylay pumpano,
shilaylay pumpano,
shilaylay pumpano‐‐
I can't stop!
I'm gonna die!
I'm gonna die!
Shilaylay pumpano!
[Maya sobs]
‐ [whispers] It's okay.
‐ [sighs]
Girls.
My office.
Anna, you can show Maya
the way.
‐ Right now, or...
[laughs]
[kids chatter in background]
‐ Oh, my God, 'Na,
don't look up.
Look.
Did the anti‐love spell work?
SINGERS: ♪ La la la la ♪
♪ La la la ♪
[singing fades, stops]
‐ [whispering]
Oh, my God.
It worked a little.
‐ Really?
‐ I love him less.
‐ Really?
MAYA: Oh...
‐ It still hurts.
[chuckles]
[Maya sighs]
What?
Stop.
‐ [whispers]
Brandt is behind you.
‐ No, he isn't.
No, he isn't.
‐ He is.
[whispering] I could feel him.
‐ Well, then I have to turn
so he can't see.
It worked.
He's following me.
Oh, my God, it worked.
‐ Yeah, yeah, yeah.
‐ [yelling gibberish]
Okay.
‐ Cuckoo, cuckoo!
‐ Shalaylay pumpano.
‐ Shalaylay pumpano.
Good‐bye.
‐ I'm gonna go‐‐stop.
‐ Oh...
‐ Hey, whazzup?
I like your hair.
‐ Are you serious?
Look, just get away from me,
okay?
I don't like you.
You're ugly.
[huffs]
Stop putting your hair
in my locker.
And stop talking to me.
I don't f*cking like you.
ANNA: I know,
but it was just pretend.
It's like...
it's not a big deal.
‐ Your principal said that
Maya was putting her hair
in Brandt's locker,
and you knew about it,
and that doesn't sound like
pretend to me.
‐ Was it doll hair, hmm?
What's goin' on with you?
‐ I really don't think
this sharing of the house
is working.
I think it's making it worse.
I mean, I know we're trying
to be a family...
CURTIS: That's not what
we're talking about.
KATHY: No‐‐don't tell me
what we're talking about.
I wanna know what you think.
Tell us what you think.
‐ Um, I think that you guys
should just stay married.
KATHY: See?
She's confused.
What we're doing, this whole
thing is just too hard on her.
I told you, one of us
should have moved out.
I told you this.
CURTIS: We weren't
gonna do that.
‐ But you just slept with him.
‐ Excuse me?
‐ Anna.
‐ Last night, like didn't you‐‐
I heard you go into her room.
Didn't you not‐‐
I mean, do you just
sleep with anybody?
Are you in love with‐‐
are you in love with my dad?
Are you just a Monica?
‐ A Monica?
‐ [sniffles]
Lewinsky.
‐ Spying...is not okay.
Curtis, this is not working.
Someone's moving out.
‐ I'm sorry, Mom.
‐ She's right.
It's not working.
‐ Dad.
No!
You guys, I'm fine!
I'm sorry, I'm just hormonal!
You guys.
Fine!
FRED: No slamming doors
in this house!
‐ I'm sorry!
[Yuki speaking indistinctly]
‐ The f*ck is your problem?
‐ Oh...nothing,
it's just like
everyone's ruining
my life right now.
Even Brandt doesn't love me.
‐ I don't wanna hear
about Brandt.
f*cking burning hair?
You're such a brat.
‐ Well, it's hard for me too.
‐ Shut up.
‐ You don't know.
It's hard for me too!
‐ Shut up, you idiot.
You should just go away.
‐ [whimpering]
[whines]
[sniffling]
ANNA: Hello?
Maya?
‐ Anna...I think that
everyone hates me right now.
ANNA: Me too.
That's why I found a spell
to disappear.
Meet me at our spot, kay?
‐ What do you mean, disappear?
ANNA: Someone's gonna move out
and it's my fault.
[whispering]
We'll do it together.
I'll see you soon.
Bye.
[dial tone drones]
‐ Anna?
Anna?
[mysterious music]
♪ ♪
[softly]
Bye.
‐ Sss...
‐ Hey, 'Na.
‐ Hey.
‐ I think someone
was following me.
‐ Oh, I sent an owl
to make sure that you
got here safe.
‐ Oh, thanks.
Are you okay?
‐ Join me.
I'm just in the middle
of spelling.
The Kn*fe's right there.
[whispering]
Very slowly.
‐ C‐c‐cut my hand.
Cut a finger or my‐‐
‐ [whispering chant words]
‐ I cut it.
‐ Shh...
[inhales]
[exhales]
Okay, I'm ready.
Are you ready?
‐ Mm.
‐ [inhales]
Anaminimatu.
‐ Anaminimatu.
‐ Presence is too much
for those around...
‐ Presence is too much for
those around...
‐ Or those around too much.
‐ Or those around too much.
‐ Surely pretend we are gone...
‐ Surely pretend
we are gone...
‐ And never did exist.
Okay. Ha.
[exhales]
What?
‐ Oh, my God.
Oh, my God, it's starting
to, um...
[gasps]
Oh, my God,
it's starting to work.
[sniffles]
Oh, my God,
I feel it in my arms.
‐ Anna, stop.
‐ It's happening right now.
‐ Stop it, Anna,
you're scaring me.
‐ I'm not trying to.
‐ Stop!
‐ It's happening.
Do you see my fingers?
They're like leaving me.
But the pain's going away,
too, actually.
‐ No, Anna, stop.
Stop it, Anna.
‐ Where am I?
‐ Anna, you're right here.
Look at me, okay?
You're not disappearing.
You're staying here.
I love you.
‐ I'm sorry.
‐ No, stop, look at me!
Do you see me?
You're not going anywhere.
Stay! Stop!
Can you stop, please?
'Cause I need you.
I'm your family.
[sniffles]
Let's be together forever,
please.
[crying]
You're here.
I love you.
[insects chirping]
[Sophie B. Hawkins'
As I Lay Me Down]
♪ ♪
SINGER:
♪ It felt like springtime ♪
♪ On this February mornin' ♪
♪ In the courtyard birds
were singin' your praise ♪
♪ ♪
♪ I'm still recalling
things you said ♪
♪ To make me feel ♪
♪ All right,
I carried them with me today ♪
♪ Now as I lay me down
to sleep ♪
♪ This I pray ♪
♪ That you will hold me dear ♪
♪ Though I'm far away.
‐ Awoooooo!
[dogs barking, howling]
[Anna, dogs howling]
SINGER:
♪ I wonder why ♪
♪ I feel so high ♪
♪ Though I am not above
the sorrow ♪
♪ Heavy‐hearted
till you call my name ♪