02x04 - Three

Episode transcripts for the TV show "PEN15". Aired: February 8, 2019 –; December 3, 2021*
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Comedy series that depicts middle school as it really is.
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02x04 - Three

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[calming music]

♪ ♪

YUKI:

Maya?

Maya.

‐ Hmm.

‐ Mm‐hmm.

‐ How's Anna?

‐ Okay.

YUKI: How is she dealing
with her parents?

‐ Okay.

You normally talk more.

What's wrong?

‐ Everyone hates me at school.

♪ ♪

I don't wanna talk about it.

‐ You care always about
what the others are thinking.

Who cares
what the others think?

Neh?

‐ Okay.

♪ ♪

‐ So we're just‐‐we're waiting.

The court has to decide
who's gonna get the house.

[sighs]

Fingers crossed.

Let's hope that, uh, the judge
does the right thing.

Is that too much information?

Oh.

You have a lot of heart energy
in there.

Anna?

You need to open up.

ANNA:
Okay, sorry.

♪ ♪

KATHY:
Hey.

How 'bout‐‐

how 'bout we do, um...

a mother‐daughter day?

We get our nails done,

and we go shopping.

‐ Can I please be excused?

‐ Yeah.

♪ ♪

‐ Please put the incense out.

It's weird.

♪ ♪

[students chatting]

[bell rings]

ANNA:
Tweedledee and Tweedledum.

Wonder what those idiots
are talking about.

‐ [laughs]

ANNA: Kinda miss 'em.

MAYA: Yeah.

STUDENT: Due Friday.

‐ Oh, shite.
Superlatives.

‐ Oh, my God.

Not now.

[sighs]

‐ sh*t, Best Duo?

Connie's tits.
[laughter]

‐ Shut up.
She's right beside you.

‐ Shut up.

HEATHER: That was, like,
the worst joke.

‐ It's just a joke, chill.
‐ What's up, Brandt?

‐ What's up?

BRANDT: What's up, bro?

‐ Dustin, Best Couple?

Me and your mom.

[laughter]
ALL: Oh!

‐ For real, though.
‐ 'Scuse you.

‐ Brandt, what about you
and BSB for Best Couple?

‐ sh*t.
HEATHER: Okay, okay.

What about Miss Lackey
when she gets her braces off?

‐ Yeah.

For sure.
Man, that's f*cked up.

ALEX: Biggest gossip.

HEATHER: Oh, definitely Ian.
CONNIE: Definitely.

HEATHER: Yes.

BRANDT:
Yeah, Connie's mom, bro.

DUSTIN: Oh!
CONNIE: Shut up!

Shut up!
‐ Yo, she got a MILF!

[laughter]

‐ She definitely has a MILF.
‐ No, stop.

‐ 'Sup?

‐ Is that your new table?

‐ Nah, that's just‐‐

Brandt was just saying
that he's gonna vote

for Connie M.'s tits
for Best Duo

and then Ian for Class Gossip.

‐ Why would that go to Ian?

‐ I don't know.
They said he was gay, so...

[indistinct chatter]

GABE:
So are you, like, resigning

as editorial manager
of Weasels?

‐ You guys still doing that?

‐ [scoffs]
Damn.

‐ What?

‐ You're kinda different.

DUSTIN:
What?

Jafeer, come on.

Don't be so f*cking sensitive.

[reflective music]

♪ ♪

‐ [speaking indistinctly]

♪ ♪

ANNA:
Ugh, I hate this question.

Like, what is success,
you know?

So stupid.

‐ Okay, well, obviously,
you and me

for Best Best Friends.

[laughing]
Obviously.

‐ Hey, quick question.

I'm struggling here.
‐ Oh, sure.

‐ Would you wanna be put down
as "psycho bitch"

or "puss‐nasty"?

[quickly]
Big smelly bush say what?

‐ What?
‐ [laughs]

‐ Oh, "big smelly bush"?

How 'bout you get Smallest d*ck

Most Likely to Have
the Saggiest Balls

In His Dad's Mouth?

Fool.

Bye!

‐ Hey.

‐ Hi.
‐ Hi.

‐ Oh, my God!
‐ Oh, Ring Pops.

‐ Maura.
‐ Hi.

MAURA:
Hi!

That's funny,
I put that one too.

That one's wrong.
That should be Spencer.

‐ Oh, I know.
‐ Yeah.

That's what‐‐
‐ Maya said Spencer.

‐ I said Spencer earlier.
‐ [laughs]

ANNA:
I love your pants.

I love them.

‐ Thanks.
They're 7 Jeans.

I hate knockoffs.

‐ I hate knockoffs too.
‐ Me too.

‐ I wish that they had
a category for Best Pants.

It's, like, so annoying
that they don't.
‐ I know.

‐ I'm gonna write it in.

‐ For who?
‐ For her.

‐ Oh, obviously.
‐ [laughs]

Thanks.

Wanna come over to my house
after school?

[refined music]

ANNA:
Oh, my God.

MAURA:
You should take this one.

It would be perfect on you.
ANNA: Oh, yeah.

MAYA:
Wait, are these car keys real?

ANNA:
This is incredible.

‐ Take what you want.
It's all for pretend.

ANNA: Where'd you get
that cell phone?

MAYA: Oh, my God.
ANNA: Is this real diamonds?

MAURA:
I think so.

ANNA: [gasps]
I love this.

‐ So, I'm Alison Canning,

and my husband is a banker,

and this is my son Danny.

‐ [laughing]
Okay.

And I'm Isabel,
and this is my daughter Kate,

and her father's been missing.

‐ Oh, no.

‐ Okay, and I'm Bonnie,

and this is Robert,

and I have to go to Blockbuster

because my other son,
Ascrit, is there

and he's just been there alone
for hours,

so I gotta pick him up.

‐ Oh, my God.
‐ Now, yeah.

‐ Maya.
‐ I know.

‐ Guys, let's eat lunch
at Cazzio's.

BOTH: Okay.
‐ What's Cazzio's?

‐ Uh, it's, like, a restaurant.
MAYA: Cazzio's!

‐ Maya and I play pretend too,
but not everybody does.

BOTH: Yeah.

MAURA: Hang on.
MAYA: Okay.

‐ Mom, turn the AC on.
I'm hot.

All right.

ANNA: That's an intercom?
MAURA: Yeah.

‐ That's cool.
MAURA: Yeah.

‐ You guys.
‐ Hmm?

‐ Um...I'm just having
the hardest time with Bernard.

‐ [gasps]
No.

MAURA:
Aww.

‐ Listen, do you want me
to get Wade to talk to him?

Because honestly, like,
I need a break from him

'cause he just keeps wanting

to have so much sex
all the time.

‐ Oh, my gosh.
‐ It's, like, so much,
you guys.

‐ It's, like, the same
with my husband.

‐ Mine too.
‐ Mine's more, though.

A lot.
‐ Mm.

ANNA: Mm.
MAURA: Mm.

MAYA:
Mm.

‐ Are you guys hungry?

‐ No, I've got
my chicken cacciatore.

[both laugh]

‐ No, I mean,
like, in real life.

Like, actually hungry.

‐ Yeah.
‐ Yeah.

[hip‐hop music]

♪ ♪

‐ I know.
[both laugh]

MAYA: It's kinda crazy
that we've just met,

like, ten minutes ago

and now we're just
in your house

like it's been forever.

‐ So random.
MAURA: So random.

ANNA: So random.
‐ [laughs]

‐ Fools.
‐ Yeah, fools.

‐ Fool.
Fool.

‐ So who's even in
your group of friends?

Like...
‐ Yeah.

‐ I kinda have, like, a lot.

‐ That makes sense.
‐ Like who?

Like, who's in your group?

‐ Well, I have this ultimate,
ultimate best friend,

but she's in Arizona,

but, like, she's a doctor.

‐ Shut up!

MAURA:
Yeah, and she's, like, our age.

She's, like, the youngest
in the country.

‐ You're lying.
MAURA: No, I'm not!

‐ How is she a doctor?

ANNA: Is she a genius?
‐ Yeah.

‐ That's, like, crazy.
MAURA: Right?

‐ Can I, like, see a picture?

‐ Yeah.
ANNA: That is incredible.

MAYA:
[laughs]

MAURA: That's her.
‐ Oh...

ANNA: Oh, my God.
MAYA: My God.

MAURA: That's Tanya.
MAYA: She's so pretty.

‐ I know, right?
ANNA: Beautiful.

MAYA: Oh, my God.
‐ She has, like,
three mansions too.

MAYA: Wow.
‐ How'd she get those?

LEANNE:
Hi, girls.

ANNA: Oh, hey!
MAYA: Hi.

‐ Hey.
I'm Leanne.

I'm Maura's mom.

‐ Oh, hi.
I'm Anna.

‐ Anna.
So nice to meet you.

ANNA: Nice to meet you.
‐ I'm Maya.

‐ Hi, Maya.
So glad you're here.

Can I get you girls a drink?

I have...

Powerade, ginger ale,
Capri Sun‐‐

MAYA:
Yes.

Powerade, please?

‐ Of course.
How many?

‐ Three.
‐ Maya.

‐ What?
‐ No.

MAYA: It's fine.
‐ Anna?

‐ Okay, yeah.
‐ Come on.

‐ Yes, please.
‐ Did you hear what she said?

‐ Of course.
ANNA: Three.

‐ Anna.

‐ [whispering]
What?

‐ You just said‐‐
LEANNE: Okay.

MAYA: Yeah.
‐ Okay, sorry.

Here we go.
‐ Thank you.

MAYA: Thank you.
‐ Mom, leave.

‐ I will.

I just wanna see
if your friends would like

something to eat.

Frozen pizza, chicken nuggets,
mozzarella sticks...

‐ Mom.

LEANNE: Or I can make you guys
a quesadilla.

Honey, quesadilla.

‐ I don't want
a f*cking quesadilla, you c**t.

‐ Sweetie, um...

you're being such a bad fairy.

‐ Shwoo!

‐ Okay.
Okay!

Um, I will, uh,
get out of your way,

but please help yourself
to whatever.

I buy in bulk, so...

ANNA:
Oh, thank you.

‐ Thank you.

‐ I'm so sorry about that.

She just really misses Tonia.

‐ Oh, no.
Who's Tonia?

‐ My best friend.

‐ The doctor.
MAURA: Yeah.

‐ That she just showed us.

ANNA: Yes.
‐ From Arizona.

‐ Yes.
MAURA: Yeah.

‐ Like...
‐ [laughs]

Doy.

‐ Wait.

Are those jawbreakers?

MAURA:
Yeah, fool.

You want some?

[Alexia's "Happy"]

ALEXIA:
♪ Happy ♪

♪ Sha‐la‐la ♪

♪ It's so nice to be happy ♪

♪ Sha‐la‐la ♪

♪ Everybody should be happy ♪

♪ Sha‐la‐la ♪

♪ It's so nice to be happy ♪

♪ Sha‐la‐la ♪

‐ Hey, fool.

MAYA: [laughs]
‐ What you looking at, fool?

[laughter]

[laughing]
Oh, my gosh, Maya!

‐ [moaning]
‐ Hey, fools.

[laughs]

ALEXIA:
♪ Everybody should be happy ♪

[shady music]

♪ ♪

‐ Oh, hey.

Do you know
who you're gonna vote for

for Best Best Friends?

‐ Um, I don't know.

I haven't thought about it.

‐ Well, me, Maya, and Anna
have been best friends

since we were, like, two,

and I think
it'd be pretty f*cked up

to not vote for what's real.

‐ Mm‐hmm.

‐ You want a Ring Pop?

‐ Um, sure.

MAURA:
Just think about it.

♪ ♪

Oh, hey.

Do you know
who you're gonna vote for

for Best Best Friends?

♪ ♪

‐ Hi!
‐ Hi!

MAURA:
Hi!

Oh, are you Anna's mom?

Oh, my God, you are so pretty!

Where are you guys going?
Can I come?

‐ [gasps]
Yes. Please?

‐ Uh, you're very sweet,
but not today.

I have the massage table.
Car's full.

‐ Oh, that's totally fine.

I can just sit on their laps!

KATHY: No.
‐ Yes, she can sit on our laps.

Please? Oh, my God.
‐ Anna, Anna, no.

‐ Mom!
‐ I'm attached to them.

‐ Yeah.
KATHY: No.

Anna, no.

‐ Mom, stop being such a fool.

KATHY: Anna Kone!

BOTH: Ooh.
‐ Who's a fool now, fool?

‐ Yeah, fool.
‐ Fool.

‐ I'm a fool, fool?
MAYA: Yeah, you're a fool.

‐ I'm a fool, fool?
MAYA: You're a fool.

BOTH: Foo‐fool‐foo‐foo‐fool.
‐ [laughs]

‐ Okay, you guys, can you just
stop saying "fool"?
MAURA: You're all fools.

‐ Mom, it's just a stupid word,
you c**t.

‐ What?

What did you just call me?

Do you even know
what that means?

That's the worst thing
you can call a woman.

‐ I thought it was
a type of fool.

‐ Who's teaching you
these words?

‐ I can't remember.

‐ [in English accent]
I c**t remember.

‐ [laughs]

MAYA:
It's an English accent!

‐ Okay, you know what?

Um, you really need
to get out of the car

'cause we're gonna go.

‐ No, no.
‐ Aww, no!

‐ Please?
Mm?

‐ I love you guys.

ANNA: Love you.
‐ Love you more!

MAURA: Bye.
MAYA: Bye.

‐ Love you.
BOTH: Love you.

‐ I miss you already.

‐ I'm gonna miss you.
‐ Miss you.

MAURA: No!
‐ No!

‐ [screams]
‐ No!

MAURA: Love you guys!
MAYA: Love you!

MAURA:
You're my world!

KATHY:
I'm just kinda concerned.

She's been using new words,

and I don't think
she really knows

what they mean.

Um, I thought maybe
it might be a good time

to do a mother‐daughter
shopping day,

and I thought if Maya came,
she'd be more open?

‐ We really don't need
anything, but...

‐ Fool, fool, fool, fool, fool,
fool, fool, fool, fool, fool...

‐ Okay.

ANNA:
Maura would hate this store.

‐ Okay, not loaded.

‐ Not loaded.

That is loaded, though.

‐ Not loaded.
‐ Not loaded.

I agree.
‐ We don't like it.

‐ Yeah, I don't like it.

Ew.
Anna.

‐ Ew, is that made of hay?

MAYA: [laughing]
Ew!

ANNA: Wow.
MAYA: Ew.

ANNA:
This place.

KATHY:
Anna.

Is there anyone
you have a crush on at school?

‐ No.

Oh, my God.

‐ What?
‐ This is butt ugly.

‐ [laughing]
Oh, no!

‐ Oh, that's nice.

‐ Mom, it's so ugly.

Like...ew.

‐ It's here if you want it.

MAYA:
So not loaded.

Stupid.

‐ Not loaded.

‐ So when are we going to meet
this Maura girl?

‐ Mom, like, don't ask us that.

‐ It seems you three
are really close very fast.

‐ Yeah, that's what happens
when they're your best friend.

It's, like, yeah, fast.

That's how best friendships
happen.

‐ [gasps]
Oh, my God.

‐ [gasps]

‐ Tommy Hilfiger.

‐ Wait.
It's fake.

‐ No, I don't think so.

ANNA:
This is fake Tommy Hil.

‐ This is real.
Look.

It's real.

‐ It's big, though, no?

‐ I don't think so.

I kind of think it's perfect.

‐ That's loaded.
‐ That's loaded.

‐ ♪ That's loaded,
loaded, loaded ♪
‐ That's not loaded, loaded.

♪ That's loaded ♪
‐ ♪ Loaded ♪

♪ It's loaded ♪
MAYA: ♪ Everybody get down ♪

BOTH:
♪ It's loaded, loaded, loaded ♪

MAYA: I really like
how this looks on me.

I wanna get it.

YUKI: Maya.
‐ Mom, stop.

Someone is gonna see my boobs.

YUKI: Ah, it's‐‐it's okay.
‐ Like, knock.

Oh, my God.

YUKI: [speaks Japanese]

‐ I love it.

‐ No, it's not nice.
It's a T‐shirt.

It's men's T‐shirt.

‐ Mom, that you wear
as a dress.

Wore it as a‐‐
‐ As a dress?

‐ Yeah, wore it as a‐‐
all the time.

‐ [speaking Japanese]
‐ Okay, fine.

You don't have to like it.
‐ [speaking Japanese]

I'm buying it for you, so no.
‐ Okay, but Mom, I want it.

[whispering]
I like it.
‐ No.

Maybe you can give it to Anna
because she's taller.

‐ Mom, stop.
I don't wanna give it to Anna.

Let me wear it.
‐ I'm not buying it.

‐ Mom, stop.
‐ No, I'm not.

‐ Stop it, stop it.
‐ Maya, stop.

Maya, stop‐‐take it off.
MAYA: Mom, please.

‐ Take it off.
MAYA: Stop touching it!

‐ Take it off.
‐ Mom, stop it!

‐ It looks so good on you.
You should get it.

For Easter.

‐ No, it's just not me.

I don't like it.
It's more you.

‐ What's wrong with me?

ANNA:
Nothing.

It's just not me.

It's kinda slutty.

‐ What did you say?

YUKI: Anna?

‐ [whispering]
Nothing.
I'm just saying I don't‐‐

[knocks]
YUKI: Anna.

This is for you.

KATHY: Oh, thank you.
ANNA: Thank you.

KATHY:
What did you just call me?

‐ [whispering]
I didn't call you anything.

Can you stop yelling?
My best friend is‐‐

‐ Why are you talking to me
like that?

Why?
‐ Shh!

Lower your voice.

‐ I'm not yelling.

I'm whispering.

Why are you telling me
to be quiet?

Why are you shh‐ing me?

Did you learn that
from your dad?

‐ I'd rather be like Dad
than like you.

MAYA: Are you ready, Na?
ANNA: Coming!

MAYA:
I'm trying to look at it.

ANNA:
Ready.

[Muzak playing]

♪ ♪

‐ I hate it.

‐ But you look so beautiful,
Maya.

You look like your mother.

‐ No, I don't...

...look anything like her.

She's ugly.

KATHY:
Don't say that.

That's really not a nice thing
to say.

Your mother
is a beautiful woman.

‐ Thank you.

‐ And you are very lucky
to look like her.

‐ I don't look like her,
and I don't like this dress.

I never wanted to wear it,
and I want to take it off.

‐ Stop, Maya.

You're being rude.

‐ No, I don't like it.
You don't know my taste, Mom.

‐ Stop.
Stop.

Maya, stop.
‐ Mom, I don't wanna buy it!

I wanted to buy
the other thing.
YUKI: Stop it.

Stop acting
like a little spoiled bitch.

♪ ♪

‐ Thank you for saying that,
Yuki.

‐ Okay.
‐ Anna's doing the same thing.

‐ Oh, my God, Mom.
Mature much?

‐ Mom.
Are you serious?

You just called your daughter
a bitch,

in a store,
in front of my friend.

Do you know
how embarrassing that is?

‐ I don't care.

You know,
you are acting like one.

‐ Well, I hate you, you bitch!

‐ [gasps]

‐ I'm sorry.

I didn't mean it.
No, stop!

‐ I'm gonna stop...
[speaking Japanese]
‐ Mommy, stop it!

‐ [whispering]
Mom, look what you're causing.

‐ Oh.
Oh, right.

Everything's my fault.
‐ Yeah, it's your fault.

‐ Okay, you need to stop.
‐ Leave me alone!

MAYA: Mom!
YUKI: Maya.

‐ Okay, I'm calling 9‐1‐1
and Daddy!

‐ Like, this is what you do
to Daddy.

Blame him for everything
and then you're just like‐‐

you're such a...

‐ What?


‐ You're‐‐
KATHY: Just say it.

‐ A c**t.

MAYA:
Stop, stop, stop!

Stop!

YUKI:
[speaking Japanese]

‐ Mom, you're embarrassing me!

You're embarrassing me!
‐ You too, okay?

‐ [sobbing]

‐ I mean,
I think it looks stupid

with jeans, but...

ANNA:
I think it looks really good.

I don't know why
you didn't wear it as a dress,

but it still looks good.

‐ Thanks for getting it for me.

ANNA:
Of course.

‐ Are you okay?

ANNA: No.
My mom's, like, so pissed.

All night.
She's so pissed.

TERRA:
Maura.

It's great.
Thank you.

[laughs]
ANNA: What about you?

Is your mom, like‐‐
did you guys make up?

‐ I mean, no.
You saw what my mom did.

Like, that was so crazy.

‐ What did she do?

MAYA:
Don't.

[whispering]
Tell her.
ANNA: I'm not.

It was...

a shopping trip gone bad.

‐ So now you didn't invite me
and you don't tell me stuff.

Cool.

‐ I‐‐sorry.
I'm sorry.

That's not what I meant.

Maura.

‐ Maura, are you serious?

Are you joking?
‐ Maura, come on!

PRINCIPAL: Teachers,

please don't park
in the bus turnaround.

Seems obvious.

But apparently, it's not.

And the results
we've all been waiting for‐‐

here are
the superlative winners.

[clears throat]

Most Likely to Succeed...

ANNA: Maura.
PRINCIPAL: Ashley Stewart.

‐ Maura.
ANNA: Maura.

[operatically]
♪ Maura, Maura, Maura ♪

‐ ♪ Maur, Maur, Maur‐Maur ♪

‐ ♪ Maura ♪
‐ ♪ Maur, Maur, Maur ♪

[laughs]
Stop.

PRINCIPAL: Most Athletic Boy
goes to Joey Roberts.

Best Couple: Heather Taylor
and Alex Nolan.

‐ You guys,
they actually just broke up.

‐ [sighs]
I can't keep up.

PRINCIPAL:
For Class Gossip, Ian Walsh.

And Best Best Friends
goes to Anna Kone

and Maya Ishii‐Peters‐‐

MAYA: Oh!
PRINCIPAL: And Maura Hall.

Most Musical goes to...
‐ [gasps]

BOTH: Oh, my God!
Maura!

‐ Three best friends!

There's the smile.
MAYA: There she is.

There's the happy smile.

‐ I knew we were gonna get it.

‐ Wait, how did we get
three best friends?

That's crazy.
‐ Dude, people just know.

ANNA: We are.
BOTH: Yeah.

‐ Guess we'll have to take
pictures.

‐ I mean, you guys!

‐ Bow down, fools.

[laughter]
MAYA: Fools.

ANNA: Yeah, fools.

[laughter]
Oh, my God.

MAYA: Wait, that's cute.
That blue one.

MAURA: Mm, nah.
MAYA: Nah.

‐ I'm just gonna say,

if we're gonna match
for the superlatives picture,

we don't have a lot of options.

‐ My good stuff's
somewhere else, I feel like.

‐ Wait, is this Limited Too?

ANNA: Oh.
‐ That's so loaded.

‐ Maya, I didn't know
you have Limited Too.

‐ No, it's‐‐it's The Rave.

BOTH:
Oh.

‐ Try to get it.
We have arms.

[laughter]

MAYA: Wait.
MAURA: Try to get it.

Try to get it.
‐ Okay, I have an arm too.

BOTH:
Try to get it.

‐ No, Maya,
you don't have an arm.

‐ No, Maya,
you don't have arms.

‐ Okay, you guys, stop.
You're stretching out my shirt.

Stop.
‐ What else do you have
in here?

‐ It's my favorite shirt.

‐ Dude, you have,
like, nothing here, Maya.

Like, I swear.

ANNA:
Oh, what about this one?

‐ No, fool!
‐ This...

‐ Okay, can I have an arm?

‐ No.
You're in the middle.

‐ [sighs]

This isn't funny, you guys.
Stop.

This is actually, like,
not fun right now.

‐ Chillax, Maya.
God.

‐ Maya, chill.
MAURA: Stop being so sensitive.

‐ I'm not being sensitive.

I just want an arm.

You guys are being
really annoying.

MAURA:
Whatever.

‐ Okay, have fun with arms.

MAURA: What is this?
Like, a fishing net?

[both laugh]

YUKI:
What?

What's wrong?

‐ Mom.

YUKI:
What?

‐ What?

‐ Is it Maura?

‐ No.

I love her.

MAYA:
Stop!

Stop looking at me!

‐ Are they being nice to you?
‐ Mom, yes!

They're being nice to me!
They're my best friends!

You don't know anything!

Why are you freaking like this?

‐ Maya?

‐ [laughs]

‐ Nothing is working in here.

‐ It's faulty!

‐ [sighs]
‐ You okay?

‐ Can you not use my gum,
please?

‐ Okay!
‐ Sorry.

I'm trying to save that
for my birthday.

‐ Why?
It's just gum.

‐ Mom, go.
Please.

Go!

‐ Mom, stop.
Can you go?

‐ Mom, please, go.
It's fine.

‐ Then tell her to clean it up.

MAYA: Okay.
YUKI: I don't like it.

‐ Okay, okay, okay!
Go.

MAYA: Mom, it's fine.
Leave.

ANNA: We'll clean it up.
Sorry.

Oh, my gosh.
[laughs]

‐ Maya, your mom has, like...

[laughing]
A scary accent.

‐ My mom doesn't have
an accent.

‐ [laughing]
Are you kidding me?

She has, like,
the thickest accent

I've ever heard.

‐ No, she doesn't.

ANNA: I just don't think
you hear it

because she's your mom.

MAYA: Anna.
‐ But I like it.

‐ You guys, my mom
doesn't have an accent.

That's, like, a really
mean thing of you to say.

Like, you guys are being
really rude.

‐ Dude, I'm not trying
to be rude.
I'm just saying, she has an‐‐

‐ Well, can you please,
like, clean up the clothes?

'Cause you're making
a really big mess.

‐ Okay, but, I mean,
you were doing it too.

‐ Not as much as you, Maura.
Like‐‐

ANNA: Guys, don't‐‐
‐ Yeah, you were.

‐ Don't fight!
Please, please.

Just remember, like,
we are three best friends.

‐ You're so right, Anna.
I'm sorry.

ANNA:
Remember that.

‐ You guys are my number ones.

Maya.
ANNA: Maya.

‐ Love you fools.
‐ Love you fools.

[laughs]

‐ Love you.

[bell rings]

‐ I had a really weird dream
last night about Maura.

I was like‐‐

it felt like I had something
stuck in my throat

and I was, like, pulling
and pulling and pulling

and it was, like, Maura's hair
stuck in my lungs.

Like, it kept coming out.

‐ Ew.

You have an amazing brain.

MAURA:
Hi!

BOTH:
Hi!

MAURA: Hi, fools.
How you doing?

‐ Good.
MAURA: [laughs]

Best Best Friends!

‐ Whoo!
‐ Yes!

‐ Yes.
‐ Yes!

‐ I'm really excited.
‐ I'm really excited.

ANNA: I'm really proud.
‐ [hacks]

MAURA:
So excited.

So, my mom went ahead
and got us a little something.

ANNA:
What?

MAYA:
[gasps]

Shut up.
‐ [gasps]

I was gonna say,
I love your hat.

We were supposed to be matching
and you're not matching.

Oh, my God.
‐ Oh, my God.

You got this?
‐ Is this felt?

MAURA: No, it's Angora.
ANNA: Oh, no, I know.

I love Angora.

‐ They look so good
on you guys.

Do you like it, Maya?

‐ Yeah, it just doesn't fit.

Can you‐‐

MAURA:
It looks really good like that.

MAYA: Oh, okay.
‐ Let's just‐‐yeah.

‐ Thank you.
‐ How?

‐ We need to look good.

We're gonna be looking at this
when we're 40.

PHOTOGRAPHER:
All right, Best Best Friends?

MAURA: That's us.
‐ Get ready.

‐ Oh, wait.
Hang on.

There's something else.

‐ What?
‐ Maura!

You're so nice.

‐ No, no, open it.

Open it.
‐ Oh.

‐ [gasps]

MAURA:
They're friendship necklaces.

ANNA:
Oh, my God.

‐ It's three
and it makes a heart.

I have the middle piece.

‐ Oh, my God.
‐ [gasps]

MAURA: I know!
‐ Incredible.

MAYA:
It says "best friends forever."

‐ Yeah.
Put it on.

It'll look really good
for the picture.

[laughs]

ANNA: I like them together.
MAYA: Yeah, I like it.

‐ Actually,
that might be kinda weird.

With two.

‐ Oh, right.
Sorry.

Yeah, stupid.
MAURA: Yeah.

Just the one.
ANNA: Oh, yeah.

Okay, JK.

Just put it safely there.

‐ Kay.
[laughs]

Let's go.

[Vitamin C's "Smile"]

♪ ♪

Oh, uh, Maya,
I might wanna go in the middle

'cause, like, I have
the middle piece.

‐ Oh.
‐ Yeah.

‐ Well, I‐‐okay.
‐ Okay.

First pose!
‐ Oh.

‐ Okay.
Hold on.

‐ Charlie's Angels!

‐ Okay, wait.
‐ Oh, wait.

‐ Look hot, guys.

SINGER: ♪ The way that
you want it to ♪

‐ Um‐‐
‐ Necklaces!

‐ Okay.
‐ Yeah.

‐ Kay.
‐ Oh, my God.

Okay.
‐ Won't fit without mine!

Best friends forever!

SINGER: ♪ Put a smile
on your face ♪

♪ Make the world
a better place ♪

♪ Put a smile on your face ♪

♪ Whatcha gonna do, say,
whatcha gonna do ♪

♪ Put a smile on your face ♪

KATHY: I'm telling you,
a new Anna.

[line beeps]
Like she's possessed.

‐ Hold on.
Call waiting.

[line beeps]
[clicks]

Hello?

KATHY:
Still Kathy.

‐ Oh.

[clicks]

Hello?
Yuki.

LEANNE:
Hey, it's Leanne.

Just wanna say thanks
for being so good to Maura.

‐ Oh, Maura's mom.

I'm just talking
with Anna's mom, Kathy.

Maybe let's all talk.

Uh, hold on.

I'll get‐‐

Let's see.
[clicks]

Kathy?
LEANNE: No.

It's just Leanne.
‐ Oh, sh*t.

[clicks]
[line beeping]

[sighs]

SINGER:
♪ [indistinct lyrics] ♪

♪ Love it when you smile ♪

♪ You look beautiful
like that ♪

♪ [indistinct lyrics] ♪

♪ Your dimples are so cute ♪
[laughs]

♪ ♪

♪ I love the happiness and...
smile ♪
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