Ludo (2020)

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Random Movies that just don't fit anywhere else yet. Miscellaneous Movie Collection.
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Ludo (2020)

Post by bunniefuu »

What time is the program?

At sharp 8:30, sir.
It will be wiped clean. Burnt to ashes.

Again before time?

I'm punctual, sir. Always before time.

The issue with arriving before time is
there's nobody around to appreciate you.

-Let's play a round of Ludo.
-You seem addicted to Ludo.

I'm addicted to life, bro.
Ludo is life and life is Ludo.

And there you go again…

What are human beings?

Just different colored tokens
on the board of life.

And who holds the dice of their fate?

-Him.
-Exactly.

He decides which way the wind blows.

Oh, my dear

Oh, my dear

Oh, hello, mister

There are good days and bad days

Now it's good, now it's bad

Hello? Okay, then come upstairs.

assh*le. Who are you going with?

Sambhavi?

Oh, my dear

Look, Bhinder,

I am not k*lling you.
I am setting your soul free.

Leave this body
and be reincarnated in a new body.

Enjoy milk and cookies again.

Make a fresh start.

Oh…

My dear

Oh, my dear

Oh, hello, mister

There are good days and bad days

Now it's good, now it's bad

Good and bad, good and bad

Oh, my dear

Sing, guys.

There are good days and bad days

Now it's good, now it's bad

Good and bad, good and bad

Oh, my dear

Hey, this is our house.

Where are you taking him?

-What are you doing?
-When will you return the money?

-Move.
-Hey! You've forgotten, but I haven't.

I'm a bit hard up.
I'll pay you in a week or two.

Well, do you have a choice?

-Put him in the car.
-Please, don't.

Give him a good seat. Hello, Asha.

I heard Bittu got out of jail and met you.

Tell him that I miss him a lot.

He must come see me. For old gold days.

Bye. Hey, come on. Let's go.

Asha, don't worry.

The world is a circus
Filled with many wonders

One struggles to get a bite of food

While others overindulge

Yes, while others overindulge

Oh, my dear

The brew of life can be hot or cold

Now it's hot
Now it's cold

Hot and cold
Hot and cold

Oh, my dear

Oh, hello, mister

There are good days and bad days

Now it's good, now it's bad

Good and bad, good and bad

Oh, my dear

I fail to understand how karma works, sir.

Poor Bhinder got m*rder*d
for a handful of diamonds.

And this m*rder*r, dacoit, don,
is leading a royal life.

Please explain this to me, sir.
In a few words.

What is this game of sin and virtue?

Okay, tell me this.
Many lives were lost because of Corona.

Do you think they were all sinners?

-I don't think so, sir.
-So?

You want a straight answer
for a tricky question?

There goes my yellow token.

Who is this guy?

Him? His kind is very rare nowadays.

What do you mean?

It's like sending a love letter
hidden in a book, in the era of Tinder.

Hi, guys. So, I'm Akash

and this is Aks, my alter ego.

Not alter, falter ego.

Basically, when
he's scared to say something,

he makes me say it.

He is the government
and I am his puppet, the media.

The nation wants to know!

The nation wants to…

-Excuse me.
-Hi.

-Where are you from?
-New Zealand.

The land of the Jersey cow!

In their country, a cow only gives milk.

But in our country, besides milk,

it gives votes, too.

Life is going to screw you anyway.

Whether you want to be screwed
with a grin or with a scowl is up to you.

And if grinning is an art,
then this guy is a true artist.

I could not conceive,

then my friend suggested Apple Slippers.

And see the results,
two kids in nine months.

Twins.

Thank you, Apple Slippers.

What are you waiting for?

Set the remote aside, pick up your phone,
and order Apple Slippers.

Go on.

Dude, who buys these items?

-Okay?
-Yeah, okay.

Dude, if you are done…

Okay, I'm taking a break, too.

Should I show it to him?

-I love you! Come on!
-Show him. It's a hard piece…

-with background music.
-I'm coming.

No way! You're gonna wait for me!

-Come fast!
-Which website is this?

Why do you need the website?
I will WhatsApp it.

-I'm coming!
-Send it to me.

Wait a second, my phone.

Hello. Yes, Mom. Yeah, I'm at the temple.

-Brother, I want to talk to you.
-Go on.

No, in private.

Well, there's no crowd here.

Please, brother, it's personal.

She is your sister-in-law.
What's so personal?

Actually, I want to…

show you something.

Is this you?

-I love you! Come on!
-Yes.

-Yeah, I'm coming!
-Can't see your face here.

-The scar on my butt.
-No way! You're gonna wait for me!

This one, on the butt?

Yes, where you'd hit me
with a belt when we were little.

Thank God, you are straight.

Well, you only hang out with boys.

We were worried that you are gay.
My wife was really worried about you.

Since when
have you been… into horse-riding?

Sir, it's been about five or six months.

What a horse!

Really, Mr. Sinha?

It's really no big deal nowadays.

-Oh, my…
-Sir…

What?

No, it's good. You are doing good.

Next time, just turn off the lights. Okay?

-You can go.
-Sir, please register the FIR.

Why are you asking for trouble?
Is your face visible?

It isn't. Only the girl is seen.

She's getting married in five days.

Look, the views are skyrocketing.
It was 13,000 last evening.

Now, it's touching one lakh.

It will ruin her life
if it comes to light.

Well, that's her problem, right?

You're a lawyer.
You know the law. Explain it to him.

FIR can't be registered
unless the girl comes here.

Got it? Okay, goodbye.

Now the moment's gone

Could not make my feelings known

God's will be done

I forsake your memory

And carry on

I left behind my oldest love

I forget your reflection and carry on

I left behind my oldest love

-Hi.
-Hi.

When's the wedding?

In five days.

Italy. Destination wedding.
All of us are going.

So, did you get what you wanted?

Yes. In fact, much more than that.

Have you heard of R.K. Jalani?

That's his son, Shekhar. My fiancé.

Holy Incense Sticks.
Temples all over India use them.

They have a turnover
of 20,000 crore rupees.

He's so nice, so sweet.

He visits
Vaishno Devi Temple twice a year.

-Does he visit p*rn sites?
-What?

No! No…

Shruti.

-Yes.
-Let's go.

I'm coming. Give me two minutes.

Actually, I wanted to show you something.
Can we go somewhere else?

Show me. You can show it here.

Please use earphones.

I'm coming!

No way! You're gonna wait for me!

-Shruti!
-Yeah?

-Shruti!
-Yeah!

You assh*le!

Found out about my wedding
on Facebook and decided to blackmail me?

I didn't upload it.

My face is not seen in the clip either.

Exactly!

Your face isn't visible but mine is!

How long have you been planning this?

I haven't planned anything.
I am here to help you.

The police won't register
the complaint unless you go there.

You are here to help me!

You are here to help me?

Name your price! Come on.

Just 320 rupees, for the taxi ride.

Congratulations on your wedding.

And here's your phone.

Where have you brought me?

The epicenter of local crime.

Sattu bhaiya's den.

Only he can solve your problem.

Where police
and administration's jurisdiction ends,

his jurisdiction begins.

There have been
six m*rder attempts on him.

b*ll*ts, grenades,
cannons, nothing worked.

I don't know what kind of deal
he has with the God of Death,

but he just doesn't die.

Every game has a token
which may be worthless to itself

but helps others succeed.

Oh, my God!

Oh, charming man,

I am in love with you.

You are my Romeo,

and I am your Juliet.

Oh, made-in-China Juliet,

I will put an end to your gall.

You won't be able to show your face again,

for I will cut your nose once and for all!

Brother!

You m*therf*cker!

Patwari, you fool.
You really cut my nose.

The scene demanded it.

You're being overly realistic.

How dare he hit me!

Alok Kumar Gupta, aka Aalu.

Be it a snack or a main course,
potato is always a part of it.

In the same way,
this man fits into every role.

He was a small-time fraudster.

Now he runs a small diner
with those same g*ons.

Items delicious as pie.
If in a hurry, goodbye.

We have it all. Punjabi, Italian,
Bengali, Thai, or Mexican.

Lentils that are heavenly,
chickpeas that are tangy.

Cheese kebabs, curry, stir fry.
Chicken kebabs, curry, stir fry.

Lollipop, Szechuan, 65, Manchurian.

All kinds of Indian breads,
salad and pickle free.

Hyderabadi, Lucknowi,
Mumbai, and Delhi-style biryani.

Falooda, carrot pudding for dessert.

Pepsi, Cola, soda, juice,
or enjoy a sorbet and let loose!

Today's special, Amrish curry,
Aishwarya pie, Juhi Chawla chow mein.

Mithun special. Jallaad Jellyroll,
Gunda Granita, Maa Kasam muffins.

-Any doubt?
-He has only two weaknesses.

One is Mithun. The other?

Pinky. The one-sided love in Aalu's life.

You are my blockbuster hit

My heart is a picture hall

Pinky, you are mine

You are my The End, too

-Aalu!
-Yes?

-Rahul teased me.
-He teased you?

Some people are destined to be used.

Not because they are stupid.

Yes, sir, some people
just want to get f*cked in love.

The one who inspired Aalu to leave crime

left to start a new life.

Three years ago, Aalu's Pinky
became Mrs. Pinky Manohar Jain.

But even today,
Aalu's day is not complete…

unless he catches a glimpse of Pinky.

Mannu.

-Mannu, what is your password?
-Why? What happened?

-I need to make a call.
-Use your own phone.

I'm running late. Give it to me.

-What's the secret?
-There's no secret between us.

My friends created a WhatsApp group,
and they send obscene videos.

You want to see that? I think not.
What's this fuss about?

He stays cooped up in the bathroom
with his phone for half an hour.

The PM's security is nothing
compared to his phone's.

Move aside, please.

WhatsApp to Facebook, everything's locked.

Really?

He used to use talcum powder,
but now he uses perfume.

Do you know how he used to enjoy sweets?

Now, he has green tea
with a sugar substitute.

I'm not trying to rile you,
but I think he is having an affair.

-What now?
-Believe me.

Keep an eye on him. Follow him.

In such a case,
it's a wife's right to doubt her husband.

And it is right, too.

-You look handsome today.
-Yes.

Where are you going?

Where do I go every week?
To Bhinder's place.

-Shouldn't I?
-No, no. Tell his wife I said hello.

Okay.

Listen, lock the door.

Okay, darling? Bye-bye.

-Here. Take him.
-Hurry up.

Oh, hello, mister

There are good days…

-Hello?
-Hello.

Bro, I have parked my car at your place.
You are my alibi.

Listen, if Pinky calls you,
tell her that I am with you.

Okay?

I am off to enjoy my life.

Sambhavi?

Sattu bhai.

He's a lawyer.

Take a seat.

Bhaiyaji, Bittu is on his way.

And there goes my red token.

-He seems furious.
-Yes, sir.

Red is the color of blood.

And that of love.

Batukeshwar Tiwari.

Aka Bittu bhaiya.

He served six years in jail.

What was his crime?

He was Sattu bhaiya's right-hand man.

-His job was to clean up after him.
-And then?

Then? Then he fell in love.

WEDDING - BITTU WEDS ASHA
SATTU BHAIYA

He bid goodbye
to crime and criminal

and moved into his little world.

And, obviously, Sattu bhaiya
was not very happy about it.

But as they say,

past sins and past love
often catch up with you.

-And when they do, they mess you up.
-Bittu!

You may want to quit,
but crime won't let you go.

Section 307, attempt to m*rder.

And Bittu went behind bars
for six long years.

Where is Ruhi?

Where is Ruhi?

Hey, Sana, shampoo…
Put your hand under it.

Shampoo is not in this.
I'll get it tomorrow.

There is a comb missing.
Go and get one later.

This is for Ruhi.

Ruhi is at school.

-I'll come back in the evening.
-Bittu, she's… in a hostel.

She…

doesn't know about you.

She…

thinks…

Bhanu is her dad.

I thought you will never come back.

So, for a few days, I sent--

Hey, Bittu!

-Bittu, no! Listen to me! Look…
-Bittu!

What are you doing? Let him go!

No!

Some people are lonely.

With no one to call their own, sir.

And then there are some
who are lonely amidst their own.

Mini's parents are always busy.

Sometimes parents get so busy
securing their child's future,

they ignore their present.

And to get their attention,
the child can go to any extent.

What do you mean?

Wait and watch, sir,

to what extent Mini goes.

Oh, my God.

-This is a kidnapping case.
-What?

-I think your daughter has been kidnapped.
-Please save my daughter.

-Please, sir, save our daughter.
-Only you can save my daughter.

My daughter…

Break the glass.

-Why are you destroying my shop?
-Take him away.

Where are you taking him?

Hello, Asha.

I heard Bittu got out of jail and met you.

Tell him that I miss him a lot.
He must come see me.

Bye. Hey, come on. Let's go.

Asha, don't worry.

They…

took away Bhanu.

Go complain to the police.

You are the cause for all of this, Bittu.

Sattu is using us to get back at you.

We had taken a loan of 50 lakhs.
Now, somehow with interest, it's 90 lakhs.

Today, they forcibly took Bhanu away.

What was his fault?

He did what he did for his family,

for our parlor,
and for Ruhi's boarding school fees.

Today, they took away Bhanu. If…

If they kidnap Ruhi someday,
only then you'll be happy.

I don't know why I married you.
I curse myself for it.

Make sure Bittu
isn't carrying any weapons.

-Hello, sir.
-Come on, have a seat.

Who the f*ck is going to make the tea?

Who? Should I?

Move!

Rahul Avasthi.

An average, ordinary young man
from a small town.

And unless you change
from ordinary to extraordinary,

society is not worried about you.

You can lead a peaceful life
being a part of the crowd.

You dumbfuck!

Who do you think you are?

Straight to work?
Thought I wouldn't notice.

Sir, the train was late.
There was a protest going on.

Train? What about
the room you rent here?

Sir, they threw me out
because three months' rent was due.

-Do I look stupid to you?
-No, sir.

You useless bum.

-Move aside, please.
-Yes, sorry.

What are you staring at?

You want to hit me?
You want to hit me? Hit me!

-Come on. Hit me.
-Sorry, sir.

If you are ever late again…

Focus on your work.

Sheeja Thomas. She is from Kerala.

Can barely speak
a word of Hindi or English.

So in this new city,
she often finds herself lonely.

She takes a break
from her world every evening

and loses herself
in the lights of the mall.

Her dreams are big, but pockets are empty.

Aspirations.

Even if you get a one
each time you roll the dice,

you won't quit the game.
The game must go on, right?

-Exactly.
-End the call.

I warned you not to use
the hospital phone for personal calls.

-There's no balance--
-So should I recharge it?

Hey, listen. What's your sun sign?

-Sun…
-Date of birth!

November 30, 1990.

So you are a Sagittarian.

Hey, Sheeja, can you say this?

Peter Piper picked
a peck of pickled peppers.

-Come on.
-Peter…

What's going on here?
Started troubling her again?

And my magazine, give it to me!

What about
the stool samples from number 12?

Sheeja, come.

Screaming won't ease your pain.

Are you a Sagittarian?

You will meet someone.

He will light up your life.

He will cover you…

with showers of love.

He will bring a balance into your life.

Why can't you believe?

What the f*ck, assh*le? Is this your home?

-Get the hell out of here.
-sh*t…

I'll castrate you
if I ever see you here again. Out!

…tell her that I am with you. Okay?

I am off to enjoy my life.

Oh, my dear

Oh, my dear

Oh, hello, mister

There are good days and bad days

Now it's good, now it's bad

Good and bad, good and bad

Oh, my dear

There are good days and bad days
Now it's good…

Sir…

Rahul.

Rahul.

Have you had breakfast?

Want to eat something?

Would you eat a b*llet?

-Sir--
-Come on.

-Come on. Put him in the car.
-Sir.

-Make room for him.
-Please, sir.

What are you looking at?
Go and make that tea.

Make two more videos like this,

and you'll become
this city's tourist attraction.

Who says our city is backward?
Look at this.

He's a voice artist.

I love artists.

Sir, please solve our problem.

Tell me your problem in Amitabh's voice.

Sir, his Deewaar impersonation
or Baghban?

Deewaar.

-You--
-Stand up.

You must be happy today.

The man who never
bowed his head in front of anyone

is asking you today
to delete this clip from the internet.

Fantastic! You m*rder*d it, bro. Bravo!

Tell me something. Did you go towards
Bhilai, Dhamtari, with this madam?

-Yes, sir.
-Yes, this hotel is from that area.

Mark Zuckerberg Mishra.

Hey, Mishra!

Boss is calling you. Come.

What are you doing here?
Come with me.

He handles my IT department.

He will get it off the internet
and help you nab that guy, too. Okay?

Bye.

And listen.

Next time do it with better lighting.

At least we will get to see your faces.

How will you find this number?
Can you nab him?

Go on your horse. Don't walk.

We'll get it, but I'll have to trace it.

What did you see there?

The dead body fell. Then you came.

I'll pry your eyes out.

Think it over.
I'll ask you again in five minutes.

It's been a while, Bittu. Give me a hug.

-Let him go.
-No, I won't let him go.

In fact, I will sell his kidney.
The deal's fixed for 12 lakhs.

You are still a sly son of a bitch.

Look, Bittu, you are my weakness,

your weakness is your wife and daughter,
and he is their new weakness.

So, he's my Tr*mp card.

Listen, come back and join me.
We will mint money together.

You will earn in millions
and I'll earn in billions.

Take his kidney. I don't give a sh*t.

-Hey, Bittu!
-Wait!

You do give a sh*t.

And till you and your family give a sh*t,

I will keep pestering you.

Go on.

You know what I do
to the ones who walk away.

And listen,
I forgot to tell you something.

Your six years in jail was thanks
to a tip I shared with the police.

Now you know the level.

Let's get started.

-Take his kidney out.
-So, assholes?

-Who's making the tea?
-Let me go, Sattu bhaiya.

-Bittu, help me. Bittu!
-Go.

It's time, sir.

Bittu! Help me, Bittu!

Bittu, they will k*ll me.

Bittu, help me. Bittu!

Two down.

-Three.
-Look over there.

Yes, it's five now.

And now, it's nine.

-What's the total?
-Nine.

-Nine?
-Yes.

The police has been tracking

this notorious g*ng for a while now.

According to reports,

nine were k*lled
and 17 injured in this expl*si*n.

…that though the state borders
have been sealed,

Sattu bhaiya is a dreaded
criminal mastermind…

As you can see,

we're in front of
Sattu bhaiya's alleged den.

Ranchi police
had been keeping an eye on them…

Can you help, please? Hold it.

expl*sives and weapons
were stored here in a large numbers.

They are believed
to be the reason behind this.

Latest reports say
that nine people d*ed…

-Give me a cup of hot water.
-Okay. Anything else?

-Papa.
-Yes, darling?

Remove one matchstick
to convert two triangles into four.

From this?

Sir, please check the spam folder.

-Yes. Trust me.
-I came here as Mini's governess.

Now I have to
clean this dog's sh*t too.

It's not easy to handle Chiku.

-We have to do something.
-He bit me.

You are lying. You hit Chiku.

What's this fuss about?
He's been vaccinated. Everyone is safe.

Listen to me, madam.
You have to choose between me and Chiku.

Please decide.

Let me go! Chiku won't go anywhere!

Chiku won't go anywhere!
No! Let me go!

Chiku won't go anywhere!

-Is Manohar Jain at home?
-Yes, sir.

Sir, what happened?

-I underwent a surgery recently.
-Come on.

-Liar!
-Where are you taking him? Mannu!

Let him at least put on some clothes.
Mannu!

Please let him go.

Mannu!

Madam, please come.
Sir, this is Manohar Jain's wife.

The MG Road case.

That's her.

Sir, why did you arrest Mannu?

Relax. Please sit, ma'am.

-Why did you arrest Mannu?
-Don't worry.

We just have some questions for you.

Where was your husband last night?

Sir, he was at his friend's place.

-Friend? Which friend?
-Mr. Bhinder. He's a builder.

-Confirm?
-Yes. In fact, I saw him go there, sir.

-Were you with him?
-Sir, what happened?

-Why did you arrest him?
-Were you at Bhinder's house?

I did go there.

I was not with him,
but I saw him there, sir.

I thought he is having an affair.
So I followed him.

But I was wrong, sir.
He's not having an affair.

-He's a good man.
-He's charged with double m*rder.

Bhinder and his wife's m*rder.

We already have
the CCTV footage and call details.

Your statement confirmed it.

Case closed.

-Thank you.
-No…

Ganesh, what's the status on Sattu?

His ambulance
never reached the hospital.

-Sir!
-What? Wait a minute.

-Want to get us all fired? Find him.
-Yes, sir.

Sir, there's been some misunderstanding.

My husband can never
do something like this.

He can. Your gut feeling
was 100% right, madam.

He's a bloody criminal-minded man.

No, sir.

-Hey…
-Sir, please, let me meet him just once.

-Ganesh.
-Yes, sir.

Come here.

-Take her to him.
-Please come.

What's the charge?

Charge is that
you were released yesterday,

and today this blast happened.

And the most important point is
your rift with Sattu is known to all.

Then arrest me.

I will. I will arrest you
if I find the evidence.

Till then, do not leave
the city without my permission.

Got it? You can leave now.

-Pinky!
-Mannu!

-Mannu!
-Pavan, keep an eye on her.

What's going on?
They're charging you with m*rder.

-Is Bhinder dead?
-Dead or not, he f*cked me up.

-f*cked you up?
-Listen.

Go and meet Mr. Chaube.
He's a criminal lawyer.

Tell him what happened.
Ask him to save me. Okay?

Note down this name. Your phone?
Note down this name.

S-A-M-B-H-I.

Sambhavi. I was
with this girl last night, darling.

I'm having an affair. I was with her.
She lives at Supela Junction.

-She runs a women's welfare organization.
-Time to go.

-She loves me. Get her statement.
-Come on.

-Talk to her.
-Come on.

Sambhavi!

Help me.

My full name, Rahul Satyendra Tripathi.

Your name is Rahul,
that's why I spared you.

You do good,

good do you.

No.

-It's a plain face--
-Look at it carefully.

-I said no.
-I won't tell anyone. Please look again.

You are weird. I'm being respectful
and you are giving me attitude.

I'm not giving you attitude. I know
you were with my husband last night.

Look, come along
and give your statement to the police.

Leave respectfully before--

Women like you
should not talk about respect.

Get out of here. Go!

-How dare you touch me?
-Bitch!

How dare you touch me?
Aren't you ashamed?

…doughnut, mother of meringue,
what would you like?

-Grilled chicken.
-Grilled chicken.

Bachkaane, clean table number three.

Get the check for table number five…

He…

What is his name?

Babu.

Babu.

What…

brings you here?

I always knew it.

One who doesn't wash his hands
after peeing can never be a good man.

Did you ask him, "Where did I fall short?"

You?

-You.
-Me?

Yes, did you ask him,
"Where did I fall short?" I mean, you.

Where did I fall short?

Exactly. You are the best.

Listen.

Leave him.

How can I leave him?

He is my husband.

He's Babu's daddy.

How can I leave him?

I hate p*rn.

I'm glad they banned it.

What ban?

My phone is full of it.

I love p*rn.

They work so hard.

And if you start the clip midway,
you can still get the story.

-But there is a practical problem, dude.
-What?

p*rn sets wrong expectations.

People start having false expectations.

-Nonsense.
-Hey…

Look, Johnny and Mia keep it going
nonstop for two hours in the clip.

But our Mr. Gupta here,
he is done in two minutes flat.

But no kidding, bro,
it has ruined many lives.

I had a friend, Chandan.

In school, when asked what
your goal in life is, what do you say?

Doctor, engineer.

Yes! But do you know what Chandu said?

"I want to be a pizza delivery boy."

In the hope that while delivering pizza,
one day some chick might say,

"I am so lonely, Chandu."

"Would you like to share my cheese burst?"

Hey, move your hand!

Hey, looks like my bro can relate to it.

My boy, don't go down that path.

His idea is better. He visits
matrimonial websites for blind dates.

Can't you keep a secret?

Tell them.

But it's been three years.

But it's still fresh in my mind.

So, he met a girl
on a matrimonial website.

The girl asked him to wait

at so-and-so coffee shop
with a packet of so-and-so chips.

But I forgot to ask her

if I should only hold it
or if I am allowed to eat a few, too.

And then she came.

She looked exactly the way

the groom's family always imagines…

their future daughter-in-law.

-Hi.
-Hi.

You are…

not photogenic at all.

I mean, you look better in person.

Thanks.

-Shruti Choksi.
-Akash Chauhan.

Dr. Akash Chauhan, right?
What kind of doctor are you?

I have a doctorate in Arts.

I did my PhD in
Mongolian Art in Mughal Architecture.

But don't judge me,
I failed three times in school.

-Ma'am, order please.
-Yeah.

One cappuccino…

and a cucumber sandwich.

And you?

Do you have ginger tea?

-Sure.
-I'll have that.

What brings you here? You are from Bhilai.

I am here
for six months on an internship.

-Okay.
-So on weekends…

-You meet prospective grooms?
-Yes.

And…

-what do you do?
-I'm actually a sales executive.

-Where?
-Kaamdhenu Electronics.

Hope you don't mind,

but what's you annual CTC?

Well, I can't save much,
but I don't need to take loans either.

And your family?

An expert interviewer can gauge
a candidate's worth within five minutes.

I mean, the girl wanted a Ferrari

and I was just a nobody.

And she understood that well

by the time we crossed the road
to go to the bar from the cafe.

After two drinks, Jagjit Singh
had transformed into Honey Singh.

His teeth were like this.

Yuck!

Bunny teeth!

Bunny!

The uncles dance at the parties.

You are straight, aren't you?

What do you mean?

Straight? Like, I'm as straight as…

I'm as straight as this.

I don't know.

I just know that I lose interest easily.

So I keep trying different things.

Like, now I am studying
to be a ventriloquist.

"Ventro" what?

Congratulations, the girl is with you
in your pad on the first date.

Reading glasses, curly hair. I like her.

Even I like her.

I'm sure she's not here
at this hour to play Ludo with you.

So, loser, who will make the first move?

What do you mean? I don't know
who will make the first move.

With you, it's always,
"I don't know." All right then.

-I don't know--
-Shut up!

It's not your cup of tea.

She's coming. She's come.

Should I look away?

Either destroy me

Or light up my world

Either destroy me

Even if you are not Juliet

Let me be your Romeo

Just do me a favor

Can I ask you something?

There were two other guys at the café
with chips packets.

Did you call them there?

Yeah.

You looked richer than them.

Imagine.

Looks can be deceptive.

You are fun when you're drunk.

I know.

Yes, I have an elder brother.

I hope you don't mind,
but what is your annual CTC?

Just do me a favor

Fulfill this desire of mine

That was wrong, this is right

Let me believe this lie

Every breath of mine

Is yours now, just say it

Make it easy for me

Make it easy for me

Either destroy me

Either destroy me

Was it this guy?

Two d*ed, one missing.

You safe, how?

That man…

Rubbish!

I will drink this

Sweet poison for you

You may not be God

But I'll keep worshipping you

I will drink this

Sweet poison for you

You may not be God

But I'll keep worshipping you

I want to live with my head held high

Take my life if you want to

Bye.

Why live like a caged bird?

Set me free now

Do me this favor

Make it easy for me

Either destroy me

Or light up my world

Either destroy me

Chiku.

Chiku.

Chiku.

Chiku.

Chiku.

Chiku.

Chiku.

Chiku.

-What is your name?
-Mini.

And you are?

Bittu.

Should we go get Chiku?

Where are your parents?

Some g*ons came home and b*at up Papa.

Here is the note. Our maid found it.

YOUR DAUGHTER IS WITH US. DON'T GO
TO THE COPS IF YOU WANT HER ALIVE.

Mummy was crying for help,
so they took her away in a black van.

I hid under the bed.

And I am very brave.

So I jumped out of the window.

How did you get hurt?

It's nothing.

Look, I got hurt, too.

Should we bandage it?

Who is this?

My daughter.

Where is she?

-In a hostel.
-Oh, my!

She's just a baby
and you sent her to a hostel?

It's an old photograph.

Now she must be just like you.

Which class are you in?

2B.

She, too.

Don't you have her recent photos?

Are you very busy, as well?

Then why did you send her to a hostel?

Where is her mom?

HOLY INCENSE STICKS

His floating Taj Mahal
has turned to ashes.

So much for acting so high-and-mighty.

Sattu bhaiya's orphans
are on the streets now.

Happy Diwali, bhaiya.

Hey, hey…

I want to go home.

I want to go home quickly.

But aren't there g*ons at home?

Sorry, I was lying.

Look, even if you bring the CM along,
my answer will remain the same.

-I don't know her husband.
-Really? Show it to her.

Here.

And what about the 1,700 calls

you made to her husband
in the last two months?

-We have the records.
-And what does it prove?

If you continue to harass me,
I'll call the police.

You call the police and we'll tell
your husband about it. What then?

When your husband gets to know
that his darling wife, Sambhavi,

is having an affair with Pinky's husband,
maybe then you'll give your statement.

-Mr. Kamal Nath? Hello.
-Hello.

She will give her statement.

It'll cost you 20 lakhs.

-To give the statement?
-To save her husband.

Then ask for 40 lakhs.

Forty. Let's finalize the deal at 40.

-Done. See you.
-Forty…

This society is disrespecting women.

Here's one who cheats on his lovely wife
to have an affair with a witch.

And the witch's husband
is pimping her out.

What do I say?

-Good women or bad, no one is safe.
-What will we do now?

What can we do?

Your father organized a lavish wedding

and got you married
to this rich, respectful guy.

-Am sure he can manage 40 lakhs.
-Four…

-Four…
-Why couldn't he think of me?

Now?

Even kingdoms have been destroyed
for women, and he's merely a manager.

What will become of Babu now?

He'll have to grow up as an orphan.

No! I'm with you.
He won't be orphaned. I…

I'll take care of him, Pinky.
I'm Aalu, after all. I…

I'll take care of everything.
Nothing is impossible for me. Come on.

Just don't cry in front of me.

After that, "I, Shruti Choksi,

had sex with my boyfriend, Akash Chauhan,

in an unknown hotel room."

When you enter the hotel room,

this device will immediately alert you
to the cameras' exact locations.

Please call me when you find them.

-Won't you come with us?
-What will I do there?

One second. What do you mean by,
"What will I do there?"

It just means, what will I do there?

I am getting married in four days,
and I am not here to visit hotels.

We won't do this. It's your duty.

Duty! Are you going
to teach me my duty?

There were blasts in the city!
Nine people are dead!

Two corpses with missing heads.
Three with missing limbs!

We still can't identify the gender
of two corpses.

Sattu is still missing!

A girl has been kidnapped,
and a builder has been m*rder*d!

And, ma'am, my darling wife says,
"Divorce me before you go!"

And I am-- What is it?

Hello?

Yes, one minute.

Where's the girl's room?

Did you search the entire house?

Any threatening phone calls?

We found some newspaper bits.
Letters were cut out of it for the note.

Sir, this way.

Here. Only those letters
have been cut out.

-What is this?
-We don't know.

-Who comes in this house?
-Sir, besides us, it's only--

Only our maid. That's all.

-Maid, driver, gardener, call them all.
-Come on.

How will I pay you
if I don't have a business?

What's the use of v*olence?
I did tell Sattu bhaiya…

Listen to me… Hey! Spare my shop…

It's her old certificate.

We got her admitted
in Saint Thomas last year.

You can go meet her.

Tell her, "I am your father."

"I am a criminal."

"I went to jail when you were little."

"I might go again."

"Any day."

You are confused.

You are confused between ego and love.

Your ego is hurt
that Ruhi is away from you now.

Bittu, this is not love.

If you loved her,
you would help us out of this problem.

When we were together,
I lived in fear. Now…

Once again…

I can't do it anymore.

Hello.

-Is that Bittu?
-Yes.

Bittu.

I'm in trouble.

They have taken over my parlor.

And if I don't pay them back
on time, they will k*ll me.

It's final. Please help me.

Please help me, I will…

I will go away from Asha and Ruhi.

With interest,
I have to pay them 90 lakhs.

assh*le, you missed work yesterday
and decided to turn up today?

You thought I wouldn't know.

Do I look stupid?

No, sir, I met with an accident…

Accident?

Does it hurt?

What are you staring at?
You want to hit me? Then hit me.

Hit me.

Hit me. Hit me.

Hey, where were you all this time?

Sheeja, say, "Peter Piper picked--"

Peter, f*ck you.

Bittu.

MISSING - MINI SHRIVASTAV
PRIZE MONEY 50,000

I need a place to hide.

Why?

The police is looking for me.

-What's his pulse?
-70, sir.

-Okay, and blood pressure.
-151…

Oh, my dear

Oh, my dear

Oh, hello, mister

There are good days and bad days
Now it's good…

Was he with you in the ambulance?

It's a strange case.

The accident happened on the road,

the ambulance
was found on the railway tracks,

and we found him on the river bank.

Mr. Sattu, you escaped death once again.
Amazing.

Hello?

Bittu is with that girl?

I am coming soon.

Oh, dear

Oh, dear

You're the wind
You're a tigress

You're the wind
You're a tigress

You're the wind
You're a tigress, oh, dear

You're the wind
You're a tigress, oh, dear

You're the wind
You're a tigress, oh, dear

You go, oh, dear

You go, girl
Oh, dear

You're the wind
You're a tigress

-Greetings.
-Greetings, Sattu bhaiya.

He wants to write something. Pen.

-Paper.
-Paper.

There. It's there.

Why are so many people here? Go outside.

-We are going to the temple, Sattu bhaiya.
-Come on.

To pray for you. You will be fine, bhaiya.

Why doesn't this assh*le die?

Water, air, fire,
nothing works on this guy.

He will die this time.
Just wait and watch.

How much money was in that bag?

Maybe one, one and a half crores.

-Where's ma'am?
-She must be around. Check.

-Madam, give me some medicine, too.
-What's going on?

-What's wrong with you guys? Out!
-My heart is going crazy.

-Give me an injection.
-Punks!

Stop, please.

-Why are the police looking for you?
-Because I have been kidnapped.

Who kidnapped you?

-The police suspect me.
-Why do they suspect you?

Because the police think
that I wrote that kidnapper's letter.

Who wrote it?

I did.

I think your daughter has been kidnapped.

Please save my daughter.

-Please, sir, save our daughter.
-Only you can save…

Why?

To make Mumma and Papa cry.

And once I go back home,
they will never leave me alone.

So what next?

What else? I'll have to go to jail.

I have an idea.

You can get out of trouble.

We will call them
and say that I kidnapped you.

Yes, you look like a goon, too.

Hey, open the door.

Lady luck's not on your side

But you always take it in stride

True love's a total no-go

Search the house.

And life's become a bad game of Ludo

Loyalty, that's a screen of smoke

You break your piggy bank
But you're still broke

Everything around you is in shambles

And life's become a bad game of Ludo

Come on.

Come fast!

Are you sure there's no CCTV there?

Costumes! Two stars or three?

-See what suits you.
-Three stars!

-Like Salman's Dabangg.
-Check the g*ns.

I hope we won't land in trouble.

All you can do is whine, eat, and sh*t.

His brother-in-law said
there are three officers

and a lot of corruption money… How much?

-Seven lakhs.
-That's all we need. And it's easy.

Make an entry in style in our uniforms,
catch them with the girl,

and ask them to pay up.

-It's Murphy's Law.
-What's wrong?

-Rosy got married.
-Oh, man! Okay, check with Kamala.

Can Kamala really wear this?
What are you talking about?

What did you tell him?

Mom and Dad had a fight.

They are thinking of a divorce.
I'm going to settle it.

What if he calls your mom and dad?

He won't.

And even if he does,
my mom knows everything.

-She'll handle it.
-Everything?

Listen, my phone is ringing.

Yes, baby?

No, it's all messed up here.

They are just not ready to listen.
They are fighting like kids.


-It's hopeless.
-Only complaints for the last 30 years.

I am sick of you.

So? I told my family
not to call you for my funeral.

-Wait a second. Hold.
-All right. You're not invited to mine.

-I mean…
-I'll marry someone else tomorrow.

-Oh, God!
-Who will marry you? You are useless now.

This is too much. It's below the belt.

Listen, I think they are fighting again.
Don't call me, I'll call you. Okay?

Okay, bye.

Thank you.

So where are we going?

Sunshine.

See, I told you. I remember.

Red and white building.

And the bed was tilted, too.

My eyes have sworn, my love

They will only dream of you

Always, every day

Every moment, every night
Forever, my love

My eyes have sworn, my love

They will only dream of you

Always, every day, every moment
Every night, forever, my love

My eyes have…

Why would Shekhar be here?

No, Mummy. No!

How can I come, Mumma? I can't!

No, I'm having fun here.

I'm really having fun here.
Why are you taking his calls?

I have gone on three dates
with that guy from Hyderabad,

but I haven't seen him smile yet.

I mean, he never smiles.

Now I have one last hope.
That guy from Delhi.

Your timing is perfect.

Every time, right after sex,
your dating audition results pour in.

So I don't get serious about us?

Smart boy.

What if I do?

Why should you? Isn't it going well?

That's what I am saying. It's going well.

What's the problem?

There's no problem.

It's just that you… You know…

That I am not rich?

The problem is not that
you are not rich today.

The problem is you will never be rich.

Good point.

But, actually, I agree.

It's difficult to be happy with less,

but it's impossible with too much.

This… This is the problem.
Your attitude is wrong.

The attitude is right, madam,
but the times are not.

Nothing.

Let's go.

You don't have to do it.
If you're not comfortable, just say so.

My wrong could be your right
and your right could be my wrong.

But, you see,
there is a whore in every woman

and a good woman in every whore.

-So just focus on the whore in you--
-What are you blabbering about?

It's just acting, Pinky.

How do I tell you

How much I love you?

Even if I see your shadow

I'd kiss it right away

When I meet you

My heart prays to Him

May this day never end

May the sun never set

I just want to be with you

Just be with you

I will hold you close

Always, every moment, every day
Every night, forever, my love

My eyes have…

-Where is Sheeja? Did she call?
-No, ma'am.

-I have been calling her--
-Bed number four is an assh*le.

-He doesn't listen. Please handle him.
-Why? What happened?

He says, "There's a fly on your nose."

"Swat it away or I'll sh**t you."

Why are you laughing?

Hello. How are you today?
How are you feeling?

You can say whatever you like,
I don't care. I'm quite thick-skinned.

Take this off.
There is no need for it now.

I want a cigarette.

If you have a cigarette,
smoke will come out of your stiches.

Just take off these doodads.
Take them off.

It's these doodads…

that are keeping you alive.
If not for them, you'd have d*ed.

Then let me die.
Who cares if I live or die?

I want to f*cking leave.

Shut the f*ck up! I care.

We're working day and night
to keep you alive.

If you want to die, do it outside.
I won't let you die here.

Sorry.

I was a little loud.

I am sorry, too.

I was foul-mouthed.

You have been wetting
the bed for two days. Pee in this now.

No. Don't you dare. I'll sh**t you.

-Don't!
-You call me Mom.

Why should you be embarrassed?

Do it.

A little more.

Yes, do it.

-Are you done?
-Yes.

Hey!

I'll make so many holes…

I'll make so many holes…

Wait a minute!

I'll make so many holes,
you'd look like a water filter. Slap him.

How dare you do this in my city?

Let's go to the police station.

Unless you
want to settle it under the table.

You…

How dare you touch her? How dare you?

-You look innocent but act like a rascal.
-Don't touch me.

-Drop the g*n.
-You drop it.

-You do it!
-You do it!

-You do it!
-You do it!

Who is it?

-You do it!
-You do it!

Let's go!

696,000. 698,000.

-Seven lakhs.
-Hey, it's just seven lakhs.

-How much did you say?
-Seven lakhs.

You mean, 60?

I mean, seven. Seven.

But you had said 60.

Not 60, I said 7. And it is 7 lakhs.

Your tobacco-filled mouth
turned 60 into 7.

Bro, I had said seven! Total…

-Wait a second. Where are you going?
-I'm leaving.

Everything is a mess now.

It's your oversmartness
that messed it all up.

No, not my oversmartness.
My stupidity messed up my life.

Did I ask you to do it?

Of course not!
It's my husband who's in jail.

-I came to you for help.
-You could have said no.

Both of us know very well
that I can't say no to you.

Have I ever since childhood?

When your 12th grade exams were going on,

I was hanging from the third floor,
dictating the answers word-to-word.

I failed the exam,
but I helped you clear it.

I love Amitabh Bachchan,
but I dress up like Mithun for you.

I've been rattling off
his dialogues forever.

I know people call me
second-hand Mithun and laugh at me.

But I don't care.

Because you like Mithun.

You never spoke like this before.

Because I have never been so f*cked up.

No one dared
to look at you in a wrong way.

I made sure no one did.

When your grandma had piles,

who went to Haridwar
to get her medicine? I did.

I see.
So it wasn't friendship, just favors.

I'm not counting favors.

You don't talk about friendship.

You didn't even call me once
after getting married.

That's the problem with you.
You are an emotional fool.

-You don't think logically.
-You are right. I am an emotional fool.

You sh*t them, you k*lled them,
and who is standing by you?

Emotional fool.

I will do it again.
I will bring your husband out.

I have some savings.
I'll give it to you.

Go and bail him out.

And how do I matter?

I am happy running my diner. Right?

But I hope you are happy, Pinky.

I will give you everything I have.

Thank you.

Anil Shrivastav?

Your daughter is with me.

-If you want to see her--
-Papa, help me! Help me!

I hope you heard that.

Now listen to me.

If you try to go to the police,

-I'll--
-Cut her hands off.

-I'll cut her hands off--
-Break her legs.

-Break her legs--
-Pry her eyes out.

Pry…

And I'll send them home.
Did you get that?

Ask for 100,000 lakhs.

If you want to see her alive,
arrange for 90 lakh rupees.

-When and where--
-Show a little anger.

I will tell you the drop point and time.

This is your first kidnapping?

Hello?

I am arranging the money.
It will take two days.

Bring Ruhi back from the hostel.

Nurse, administer the medicine
to the patient on bed nine.

Nurse, this machine
is not working. Please check.

Move your hand.

Just move your hand.

When I met you, my lonely life

Has come alive again

You are mine

You were lost and I wondered

Why did it happen?

You are mine

I found hope

Where I never expected it to be

What was never mine

Is what my heart seeks now

How the story has changed!

You are mine

A new melody is in the air

Like spring is in the air

How did my dream come true?

I'm falling for you

Just for you

You are mine

My heart is reaching out to you

You are mine…

True love is when you'll die for it.

I know that she loves me, too.

But she can't say it.

It's my fault.

How can she say it to a criminal…

Especially a girl with two dimples,
how can she say…

"I love you."

Once her husband is out,
she won't even look at me.

I know it well.

But I'll still help her.

Thank you.

I'll destroy myself for her.

Because, my friend…

some relationships
don't have any logic.

They only have magic.

Magic.

You are mine

It's 1,853,000 rupees.

I'll pay the rest after your statement.

-Shall we go?
-Like this? In my nightie?

To the police station.

You want to change.

She will change and come back.

Sambhu! Where are you going?

But my treatment is going on.

What's going on here? What's the fuss?

Hey… Wait up, Sambhu.

My money!

Hey, stop.

Hey, stop! Hey, my money!

Hey, stop! Stop! My money!

Enough!

I have done more than enough.
I can't do it anymore.

Rickshaw. Stop.

Drop her at home.

This is all I have now.
I'm giving you this as well.

Babu…

Go on.

Pinky! Pinky, wait!

-Hello?
-Where are you?

-Who is it?
-Your big daddy.

Sattu bhaiya, hello.

What are the updates?
Where are they? Found them yet?

That's what we are doing. Get them!

-Get them!
-Follow them!

-Get them!
-Don't let them get away!

Throw them on the ground…

Hello?

When luck suck, everyone f*ck.

When luck suck, everyone…

f*ck.

Look, who is here.

Hey, get that assh*le!

Hey, stop!

Get them.

-Stop! Get them!
-Get in. Come on.

Ma'am, please help us out.

Go quickly. Go quickly.

Go quickly or else they will k*ll us.

Please save me. Let's go. Go quickly.

-Go quickly.
-Start the car.

Hey, stop!

This car…

Who the f*ck
is going to fix this car? Stop!

Stop!

Hey, stop.

Darling! My wife is here.

Darling, they b*at me up.

Did you meet Sambhavi?

Please go and meet her. They will k*ll me.

Look how they have beaten him up.
He's badly hurt.

He won't get bail.
I can give it to you in writing.

-There must be some way. Anything at all?
-I wish there was some way.

Some big names
are involved in this, ma'am.

The law is helpless here.

Maybe he can break out of jail.
That's the only way.

I need a small favor.

Tell me.

Who else could I have gone to?

Tell me.

I want you
to help Babu's daddy escape from jail.

Jail…

All right.

Thank you.

Purnia Express. Coach number S7.

I'll call you at 7:00 a.m., tomorrow.

Weaving delicate dreams
My weaver heart

Oh, my weaver heart

Tearing apart and stitching together
My weaver heart

Oh, my weaver heart

Weaving a scarf of honor

Or a muffler of hatred

Or it weaves a stole of love

Sometimes a duvet of love
Or a sweater of gloom

Weaving delicate dreams
My weaver heart

Pandey, listen.

Call this guy from Holy Incense Sticks.

Big room! TV, fridge, AC.

No problem, ma'am.
I will give you the biggest room.

Charges. Twenty thousand
plus GST plus EST.

Thank you, ma'am.

-Thank you.
-No!

The music of love is in the air

It has blown me away

Everything seems…

Come here.

So colorful

In this colorless world

Giddy at times or blooming away
A happy twirl or it may lose it all

Sometimes my heart dances
Like no one is watching

Silky at times or like muslin
Prickly cotton or it may be velvety

Weaving delicate dreams
My weaver heart

Wow!

You are self-obsessed, right?

Me? Really? How?

This… Use these dialogues on stage.
Why in the bedroom?

It's to delay the climax.

Do you understand? So we can go on and on.

I'm a test match player, baby.
I'm a Dravid, not Afridi.

In fact, try it with your husband.

Holy Incense Stick will turn into a torch.

-f*ck you.
-Hey, it works.

What to tell you?

Shall we drink?

-Hindi?
-Yes.

I can't read Hindi.

Read. You read!

Okay.

Nobody can do what you did.

You know, my grandma used to say…

"If someone helps you selflessly,
keep them close for eternity."

Right?

Someone once told me
that I am fun when I am drunk.

Dude.

Didn't you ever want to meet me?

I wanted to, but then I changed my mind.

I imagined you as a trophy wife.

Your foreign vacation pictures
on Insta with #Wanderlust.

And you waiting for likes.

Attending high-society parties
with a fake accent and a fake smile.

I imagined you this way.

That made it easy to move on.

You are taunting me, right, assh*le?

It's not what you think.

Shekhar is my--

-Phone.
-What?

Phone.

Baby! Talk of the devil.

Devil?

I WANT TO SPEND MY LIFE WITH YOU

With you…

Are you from Kerala?

-Are you a Malayali?
-Yes, I am.

-Me too.
-Yeah, I figured.

Who's that?
Boyfriend, husband, or brother?

It depends on how much I drink.

You are funny. Come, let's dance.

Sure. Why not? Play our song.

Let me show you my wedding venue.

Villa at Lake Como.

And Shekhar has booked two entire flights.

Why are you giving me
this sarcastic smile?

You don't even have a passport.

That's true.

Cheers!

-Bottoms up!
-Bottoms up!

What kind of song is this?

Let's go. Come on.

My hand is hurting. Slow down. Leave me!

My hand is hurting. Let go.

What's wrong with you?

Are you my husband? No, right?

Boyfriend? No!

How does it matter to you if I dance?

What happened?

Are you missing Mummy and Papa?

A little. They must be crying for me.

When we get the money tomorrow,
you will be with them,

and I will be with Ruhi.

But what will we do with the money?

Well, we need that money to bring Ruhi…

Let me explain.

So, you love Chiku, don't you?

But Chiku is with that boy now.

So if you had enough money,
won't you pay them and bring Chiku back?

No.

Why?

Because Chiku is happy
with that boy. I saw that.

And if Chiku is happy, I am happy.

What is it?

Scratch my back.

Why were you in jail?

-m*rder.
-What?

-It's a m*rder case.
-Whose?

You know that builder, Bhinder?

Why are you laughing?

What?

Get lost, you m*rder*r.

What a nutcase!

Couldn't you find any other way?

Maniac!

-What's going on?
-Who are these people?

-Let's go.
-Where are you climbing on to?

-His intentions are not good.
-Let go or I'll kick you, bastard!

Who is that?

Mannu, watch it!

I'll k*ll you. Shut up.

-Are you ready?
-Yes, I've just passed through S6.

No, not now. Keep going, I'll tell you.

Aalu, be careful!

Why are you taking me so high?
You're trying to save me or k*ll me?

Get lost!

Mini!

Mini!

What time is it?

It's almost 6:30 a.m.

Don't look here.

Okay.

What… How foolish can I be?

Why did I get drunk last night?

I don't remember anything.

I don't remember anything. Total blackout.

-What did you eat last night?
-Chili chicken.

You remember everything.

How long are you going to deny it?

Deny what?

As if you don't know.

Don't do this, Akash.

My flight is in three hours,
and I am getting married in two days.

Let people watch that clip.

I am leaving,
even if we don't find the camera.

Yeah, you are a master at it.
The art of leaving.

Who are you running away from?

From yourself?

-Both of us know that--
-Don't! Don't do this, Akash.

Please! Please not right now.

I have been taught
only one thing since I was little.

If you want a good life,
if you want to be happy,

you need a good husband,
from a well-to-do family.

That's it.

I learned to sing, to cook,
good etiquettes, good English, for what?

Make-up, fashion, for what?

Just so that one day,

I would get married
to a rich, handsome Mr. Perfect.

And guess what? It's happening.
And I am very happy, Akash.

Can't you see?

No!

I know where I am going.

Don't distract me from it.

I LOVE YOU. I WANT TO SPEND
THE REST OF MY LIFE WITH YOU.

Hello, ma'am.

Hello, Sheeja. Where have you been?
I called you so many times.

It was an emergency. I am fine, ma'am.

I am okay.

Where are you?

I am staying in Hotel Paradise.

Hotel? Alone?

No, I am with Rahul.

Rahul? Who is Rahul?

Rahul is a friend. A special friend.

I want you to meet him. Please come.

I'll try to.

Call your mother.

Yes, I will.

Let me look for a shop.

Rahul, help!

Help! Rahul!

Give me a packet of cigarettes.

-Hello?
-Welcome to Hotel Paradise.

-Hotel Paradise?
-Yes, sir.

Hey! No! I'm here. Bastard!

You thief! Son of a bitch!

Thief!

You will come to meet me, right?

-Yes.
-Bring Ruhi along.

Sure.

A bull and a bullock cart!

Carrying a tiny tot!

A bull and a bullock cart!

Carrying a…

Hey, stop.

Bittu!

Stop!

Hey…

What are you doing, assh*le? Just stop!
assh*le!

sh*t, he locked it! What's the password?

Paradise. It's close to the bypass.

Okay. I'll share it via WhatsApp.

Mr. Sukumar is coming with the force.
They'll be here in 15 minutes.

Shruti, you can leave. I'll handle it.

No, I'll stay.

assh*le! Take us to your room. Come on.

How does it open?

You assh*le! Trying to pull
a fast one on us! Bloody traitor!

Rock him for a while.

Here is some money. Keep it.

There is a man in Sitapur.

Call him.
He will help you cross the Nepal border.

Take care of yourself.

Bloody assh*le!

Go on.

Its gear gets stuck sometimes.

Bye, Babu.

Let's go?

No… No cry! No.

I won't cry.

I won't cry.

Pinky…

Papa, the mobile has stopped working.

-Is this the climax?
-Yes, sir.

They'll be here soon.

-How much time do we have?
-Enough to play a game of Ludo.

Bro.

Always before time.
Were you a premature baby?

Let's play Ludo.

Well, it's fun talking
to you while playing Ludo.

Coming straight to the point.
The good old question.

-How do you define sin and virtue?
-And you're back to square one.

Okay, tell me this.

-Were the Kauravas heroes or villains?
-Villains.

-And who were the heroes?
-Pandavas, obviously.

So when Yudhisthira d*ed
and reached heaven,

he noticed that Duryodhana
is having fun with the fairies.

And he asked,
"Where are my brothers and Draupadi?"

The reply he got was, "In hell."

-Sir, this can be explained.
-Forget the explanation.

Didn't you just say
the Kauravas were the villains?

Then why is Duryodhana in heaven?

So what does it mean?

That you can never give a straight answer.

It takes a lifetime
to understand sin and virtue.

And you want a straight answer?

Hi, baby.

Why? I can come on my own.

No, not now.

Yes, I have given up.

Can't you keep your ego aside
for your daughter's sake?

Yes, Papa, exactly.

-That is not fair.
-Not fair?

Okay. Then you can go.
And take your mommy with you!

She loves to attend lavish weddings.

In fact, she's very proud of you
that you did what she couldn't.

Marrying a rich and successful man.

I thought we shared everything.

But you kept such a big secret from me.

Your clip is on the internet.

Did you watch it?

Baby, you are famous.
50 lakh people have watched it.

He's the guy, right?

You should have just come to me.
I would have made it go away.

You met with an accident?
The police called me. I was so worried.

Thank God you used my credit card or
I couldn't have tracked this hotel down.

I can't imagine what you've gone through.

It's okay. Stop crying.
It's okay. Don't worry about it.

-Did you find him?
-Yes.

Okay.

Which way is room 104?

My orthopedic doctor is here.

-Shekhar.
-Akash.

What? What's so funny?

Sorry. Not for you, man. I'm very sorry.
I don't know what's going on.

I'm getting a call.

Police.

Hello?

Hit it.

-Hey, go get the car.
-Okay.

Control room. Come in, control room…

Sattu bhaiya
has been spotted at Paradise Hotel.

At least five armed gangsters are here.

Please send backup immediately.

What a rotten day!
Pee on me and sh*t on me, too!

Police.

Turn right!

I said, turn right!

There, we are stuck.
We'll be running all our lives now.

It's your fault.

If you hadn't followed me,
I wouldn't be in this mess.

I'm talking to you!

Listen, stop overreacting.
I'm not the only man to do it.

Everyone does it. All my friends do it.

Even your uncle did it,
but he never got caught.

And, listen, you are no saint, either.
I know everything.

Your lover boy, Aalu,
f*cking moved mountains to save me.

I know the deal.
You must have rewarded him well.

The truth is
there is a devil inside each one of us.

Just like the bubbles in a bottle of soda.

All it takes is opening the bottle.

-There was a time
-There was a time

-When I lived with the faith
-With the faith

-In this world
-In this world

-I'd built my heaven
-My heaven

This is how I fell in love

And what came of it, love?

And what came of it, love?

One.

Two.

Even the movie is coming to an end.
Please explain sin and virtue now.

Be independent. Find it yourself.

Okay, tell me this. What about Bittu?

-Heaven or hell?
-Heaven.

Whatever his past might be,
he sacrificed himself for his family.

-And what about Sattu?
-Hell. Without a doubt.

Not that simple.
He still has something to do.

-Not fair, sir.
-Life is not fair, bro.

-Life is just like--
-A game of Ludo.

Exactly.

Whether you win or lose,
ultimately the tokens have to reach home.

Death is the only truth in life.

Everything else is just a smokescreen.

-What do you mean?
-I mean, what you call six,

might look like nine to me.

What?

Sin and virtue,
good and bad, heaven and hell

are just points of view, Chitragupta.

God and devil, heaven and hell,

they are just means people came up with
to control this out-of-control world.

Yamraj, you are confusing me.

So are we just a figment of imagination?

Our kids…

and their kids…

will lead…

a lavish life.

Come on.

-There was a time
-There was a time

-When I lived with the faith
-With the faith

-In this world
-In this world

-I'd built my heaven
-My heaven

I need one last favor.

Tell me.

Who else could I have gone to?

Tell me.

That's how I fell in love

And what came of it, love?

-Hello?
-Hi.

Flight?

I missed it.

-Your wedding?
-I broke it off.

I have some conditions.
I want an AC. A fan won't do.

Proper bathroom, with a door.
No jokes when I snore.

Brush before bed and shower before sex.
And why do you have so many plants--

I love you.

My eyes have

Sworn, my love

They will only dream of you

Always, every day, every moment
Every night, forever, my love

My eyes have

Sworn, my love

They will only dream of you

Always, every day, every moment
Every night, forever, my love

My eyes have…

How do I tell you

How much I love you?

Even if I see your shadow

I'd kiss it right away

When I meet you

My heart prays to Him

May this day never end

May the sun never set

I just want to be with you

Just be with you

I will hold you close

Always, every day, every moment
Every night, forever, my love

My eyes have

How do I tell you

How much I love you?

Even if I see your shadow

I'd kiss it right away

When I meet you

My heart prays to Him

May this day never end

May the sun never set

I just want to be with you

Just be with you

I will hold you close

Always, every day, every moment
Every night, forever, my love

My eyes have…
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