02x06 - I Wanna Hold Your Wristband

[bunniefuu]

CYRUS: Previously, on Andi Mack...

We gotta get this place
in shape. We're selling it.

You're selling the house?

What about AndiShack?

CELIA: We gotta clean that up, too.

BEX: Andi's gonna be devastated.

That's why you should be
prepared when you tell her.

There's something I have to tell you.

What?

We also have vanilla wafers.

Yay!

Excuse me. Just wanted to introduce
myself. I'm the new principal,

Dr. Metcalf. I want you to know,
I'm not a scary principal,

I'm an approachable one. I don't see
any reason why we can't be friends.

Andi, I like being around you
more than anyone else.

Oh.

So I was wondering... maybe you
could think about being around me?

Jonah asked me the simplest
question, "What's your next class?"

Which is English, but guess what I said?

Dimples.

Buffy, what's happening to me?

I'm all nervous and tongue-tied like I
was the first time I ever talked to him.

- ANDI: Question...
- Lay it on us.

Should Jonah and I
be holding hands by now?

I better take this one.
I'm the only one of us

with hands-on hand-holding experience.

May I see your hand, please?

Mm-hm... healthy nail beds, no calluses,

good-sized knuckles.

I don't see any reason
not to be holding this hand.

And yet, he isn't holding it.

Hm. Perhaps you suffer
from hyperhidrosis.

Sweaty palms.

They don't look sweaty,
they don't feel sweaty...

You're not nervous when
you're holding your own hand.

So if I'm holding Jonah's hand,
it can just happen?

Hyperhidrosis is a cruel mistress.

If you wanna hold Jonah's hand,
hold Jonah's hand.

Don't wait for him to instigate.

Just go for it.

Here he comes now.

♪

Andi! We're tryin'
somethin' different today.

Please step over
to the table marked "A."

Jonah, you're over there
at the "B" table.

Can I be at the "B" table, too?

No, you cannot.

Buffy, you go to "B."
Cyrus, you're at the "A" table.

Everybody, come on.
Denise, "B", Aaron, "A",

Farrah, "B"...

Wristbands. Are we going somewhere?

Why can't be in the same group?

Maybe someone in your group will switch.

(CLEARS THROAT) Andi, these
groups are not random.

They were chosen according
to very specific guidelines.

Which are...?

Uh... Uh, let em see...
see... oh! There they are.

None of your business.

Everybody, stay with your group.

No intermingling, very important.

Stay with your group.

♪

♪ I'm standin' on the edge ♪

♪ And everything I know-oh-oh
is blown away ♪

♪ Life is upside down ♪

♪ But any way it goes I'll work it out ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ Here we go ♪

- ♪ One, two, three ♪
- ♪ I'm ready for tomorrow ♪

♪ Tomorrow starts today ♪

♪ There ain't a map to follow ♪

♪ But I'm with you all the way ♪

♪ I'm ready for tomorrow ♪

- ♪ Tomorrow starts today ♪
- ♪ Hey ♪

♪ There ain't a map to follow ♪

- ♪ But I'm with you all the way ♪
- ♪ Hey ♪

♪ All the way ♪

Pop quiz.

When you're finished...

you're free to go.

- (BUFFY SIGHS)
- This is our pop quiz?

A connect-the-dots puzzle?

Apparently.

Wait... I didn't get
a connect-the-dots puzzle.

What'd you get?

A -page booklet of math proofs.

And this is English!

Why'd we get different tests?

I am seven years away from retirement.

Just do the work.

I guess we're the smarter group.

Uh... It's a baby giraffe!

Look...

Group "A" 's finest.

Buffy, your GPA isn't that much
higher than Andi's and mine.

Your baby giraffe has five legs.

♪ Hello, goodbye hello, goodbye ♪

♪ Hello, goodbye hello, goodbye ♪

♪ You keep hearing doorbells
in your head ♪

Wow.

You like it?

I didn't know if I should go with
the pine bark or spruce bark.

Well, I have no idea what bark I'm
looking at, but, excellent choice.

Spruce bark!

It felt right.

This is a good sign.

- What is?
- You're fixin' up the yard.

That means you're not selling the house.

That's why we're fixing up the yard.

The open house is Thursday.

The what?

Why do you sound so shocked? I
told you were selling the house.

I know what you said. I never thought
you were actually gonna do it.

Right. Because if there's one quality
I'm typically associated with,

it's lack of follow-through.

(LAUGHS)

How can you be so casual
about selling our house?

Our house? You moved out
of this house, remember?

Twice! What do you care
if we're sellin' it?

'Cause when Andi finds out, she's go...

Wait. Why haven't you told her?

Because I'm in denial
that it's happening!

This is a dangerous game
of chicken we're playing.

If you continue, you might
actually end up selling the house.

You really do need to tell Andi.

Are you kidding? She's gonna be crushed!

She's tougher than you know.
She'll be fine.

She's losing AndiShack!
She's not going to be fine!

AndiShack is wherever Andi is.

Take the sign and make a new one.

It's not gonna be that easy
and you know it!

Hey, can we all just take a breath?

And you! I can't believe
you're helping her!

I mean, your work is exquisite!

But you're on the side of evil!

Evil!

(SIGHING) Aye...

(ENGINE STARTS UP)

I'm on the side of the market

that's up five percent.

(BLOWING WHISTLE)

All right, who wants to play
some dodgeball?

(CHEERING AND CLAPPING)

Cheers the bloodthirsty mob.

Group "B"... you'll be wearing these.

- (STUDENTS GROANING)
- Blindfolds?

Ooh, twist.

Go on, pass 'em out.

Come on.

There's no crying in dodgeball.

♪ Something to show,
show me that you love me ♪

♪ I want something sweeter you see ♪

♪ Something to show,
show me that you love me ♪

Jonah! What's... goin' on?

Art class.

Although I'm not sure how
painting a wall the same color

teaches us anything about art.

What are you doin' out here?

Oh, I have a -minute hall pass,

so I'm just k*lling time
before my foot massage.

Group "A" gets foot massages?

- Your smoothie.
- Thank you.

This is wrong.

I know. Why is your group
getting special treatment?

I meant the smoothie.
I ordered strawberry banana.

Thank you.

But, this too.

Also wrong.

Aahh!

(GRUNTS)

Buffy, I wish you could see this.

I have great hand-eye coordination!

So do I! And I'm blindfolded!

Actually, Buffy, I'm the one
who's been blindfolded,

metaphorically. My whole life I
thought I couldn't play sports!

Well, you were right.

Silence, "B"!

(TAPPING ON WINDOW)

Oh, I think you have
the wrong apartment.

I didn't order any betrayal.

I brought fudge.

Fine, come in.

She doesn't even care that she's
gonna break Andi's heart.

Of course she cares.

A lot. That's why she
wants you to tell her.

She can't bear to do it herself.

Well, if it's so hard,
why sell the house at all?

Because they don't need all that space.

It's just the two of them.

If they move out, then they
can live their own lives.

And they can travel,
and have their own adventures.

Like we did.

I know I didn't live there for long,
but I still thought of it as home.

And it's Andi's home.

If I'd never moved her out,
they wouldn't have to sell it.

Huh. Ironic, isn't it?

If I'm using that word right.

I'm never sure.

You are.

I think.

But if you aren't using it correctly
and I just said you were,

that would be ironic.

Mm-hm.

- I think.
- Mm-hm...

(LAUGHS) I don't know.

I think I know what's going on.

What?

I bet this is some social justice
thing that Metcalf dreamed up.

We're supposed to learn how unfair it is

that some people get things,
and some people don't.

Cool. Can you pass the cocktail sauce?

Cyrus, we should do something.

Like what?

Like, we all stand together,
and we go over to the "B" side,

and we share our stuff with them.

Who's with me?

Nobody's with me!

What is this?

It's docious-atrocious.

Could be soup.

Could be stew.

It smells like socks.

Hey, think Andi wants to talk to you.

I'm coming to your side.

No. It's too dangerous.

There's teachers everywhere.

I don't care.

How are you gonna get past the barrier?

What are you doing?

I'm not accepting the rules
of this community.

I'm with you guys now.

You didn't bring any food?

No. I left so quickly I had
to leave everything behind.

(STUDENTS GROANING)

Geez. Group "B" is kinda judge-y.

Cyrus is at the gate.

Cyrus!

GROUP "B" STUDENTS: Cyrus! Cyrus! Cyrus!

Cyrus! Cyrus! Cyrus!

I don't need a cheer. It was
enough that I blazed the trail.

(LAUGHS)

I smell something.

Cookies.

BUFFY: Freshly baked cookies.

We won't be able to get any. They're
going straight to Group "A."

No! We can't let that happen!

Or maybe... we can.

Cyrus, I need you.

Come on, go.

Hi, we're from Group "A."
The smell is driving us crazy.

We're just gonna take these out for you.

Group "A" forever!

Run!

Oh, right, I'm an athlete now.

(SCREAMS)

(SCREAMING AND YELLING)

- I'm "A".
- (SCREAMS)

It's cocktail sauce!

Five second rule!

(SCREAMING AND YELLING)

(BLOWING WHISTLE)

Today's exercise is over.

There's no more group "A",
there is no more group "B."

And we're not eating cookies
off the floor, Denise.

Can anyone tell me
the point of today's exercise?

It's about privilege.

It's about one group thinking that
they deserve more than another.

Just because of the color
of their wristband.

But the people in group "A" were better.

Better at what?

Good question.

How did I decide
who got to be in group "A"?

It was completely random.

Wrong.

I don't know.
You just said, "Andi, group 'A',

Buffy, group 'B'..."

Keep going.

Keep going? Going where?

Cyrus, group "A," Denise,
group "B," Aaron, group "A",

Farrah, group "B"...

You used the first letter of our
names, and just went back and forth.

Right.

So, it was every other letter.

"A," "C," "E," were in the "A" group,

"B", "D," "F" were in the "B" group.

And so on.

Nobody here is better than anyone else.

Nobody anywhere
is better than anywhere else.

A lot of problems
wouldn't even be problems

if we all just accepted
that simple fact.

I hope you all learned that today.

Because the school board
has hired a social

sensitivity consultant, and she's asked

for all your feedback. (LAUGHS)

(STUDENTS ALL TALKING)

Later. Later. In writing.

DR. METCALF: And we need people
to clean up. I choose all of you.

(LAUGHTER)

These aren't trash.

They are a carbon-neutral crafts project

waiting to happen.

So, what are you gonna make?

Not sure. Sometimes I
go in without a plan,

feel it out, and improvise.

Like jazz. But way less boring.

And... with more washi tape.

What?

You're so creative and...
you're so smart.

I can't believe you figured
out Metcalf's code.

That was by accident.

Ah... you're even smart by accident.

- Sorry, sometimes my palms get sweaty.
- (LAUGHS)

Hey!

BEX/BOWIE: Hey!

- How was your day?
- Good.

You wanna tell us
what was so good about it?

No.

Andi, sit down for a sec.

We have somethin' we need to tell you.

What's going on?

(QUIETLY) Just rip off the bandage.

Pops and CeCe are selling the house.

What? Why? Where are they going?

Someplace smaller. And they
don't need all that space.

But, what about AndiShack,
what happens to AndiShack?

Don't worry, we'll find room
for your crafts supplies.

AndiShack is not just the place
that I keep my glue g*n.

- We know that.
- No. You don't.

You guys just showed up. AndiShack
has been there for my whole life!

We'll figure somethin' else out.

No! We won't.

There's nothing else like it.

I wish we'd never left home.

(DOOR OPENS)

(DOOR CLOSES)

♪ Breezy as the summer sand ♪

♪ And you are like the winter blue ♪

♪ So maybe you can understand
why this is my call to you ♪

♪ Falling, falling ♪

♪ Feel the weight of the world
pulling down again ♪

♪ And I know it's true ♪

♪ It's true ♪

♪ Now I awaken with a broken smile ♪

♪ And stare out at the pouring rain ♪

♪ And maybe you can understand
why this is just for me ♪

♪ Falling, falling ♪

♪ Feel the weight of the world
pulling down again ♪

♪ And I know it's true ♪

♪ It's true ♪

BUFFY: Next, on Andi Mack...

I'll take you to the arcade
this weekend.

That sounds good.

Cool. It's a date.

I need a plus-one
for the virtual reality thingy.

- Wanna come?
- Yeah, cool.

I'm so glad you invited me. Why did you?

Because I don't wanna be a third wheel.

BEX: He hurt himself, you laughed,

and now you think he's mad at you?

I don't think it, I know it.

But he's denying it.

We're great together.

Because we're not a couple.

I don't want it to be fake.

I want it to be real.

Is that a possibility?

(drum beats, Ty, group B...

I feel so small.

Since we're friends,
you get to have one.

- Syke!
- What?

( LAUGHING )