02x11 - Miniature Gulf

[bunniefuu]

BEX: Previously, on Andi Mack...

I don't think we were ever introduced.

Buffy, the new sh**ting guard.

Funny, you look like
the new benchwarmer.

I have a favor. There's a
student who needs tutoring.

- No way!
- I'm out.

You don't have an option.

You get my friend Cyrus here,

a chocolate chocolate chip
muffin, then we have a deal.

I'll need at least a C-plus.

- You seem to know Bowie.
- You could say that.

'Cause I was thinking
I'd like to ask him out.

Unless, are you interested in him?

We're throwing him a surprise party!

- Is this about my birthday?
- Surprise!

ALL: Bowie! Bowie! Bowie! Bowie!

- Hey, I love you.
- I love you, too, Dad.

- What if there's a cow in there?
- Oh.

Bex, go! I wanna take my turn.

I just don't like thinking
I might hit a cow.

- BOWIE: Moo!
- (ANDI GIGGLES)

Step aside.
Let me show you how it's done.

- (BALL CLATTERS IN HOLE)
- ALL: Oh!

What?

Did I really just do that?

I guess I did.

- (CROWING)
- (CELEBRATORY MUSIC PLAYING)

- (expl*si*n)
- (MUSIC SLOWS, DISTORTS)

What does that mean?

You get a hole-in-one in the last
hole, and you win a free game.

- (LAUGHS)
- Hey, who wants pizza?

Uh-oh. What's wrong?

Oh. Nothing.

Sometimes a pizza is just a pizza.

(CHUCKLES)

(THEME SONG PLAYING)

♪ I'm standing on the edge ♪

♪ And everything I kno-o-ow ♪

♪ Has blown away ♪

♪ Life is upside down ♪

♪ But any way it go-o-oes ♪

♪ I'll work it out ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ Here we go ♪

♪ One, two, three! ♪

♪ I'm ready for tomorrow ♪

♪ Tomorrow starts today ♪

♪ There ain't no map to follow ♪

♪ But I'm with you all the way ♪

♪ I'm ready for tomorrow ♪

- ♪ Tomorrow starts today ♪
- ♪ Hey ♪

♪ There ain't no map to follow ♪

♪ But I'm with you all the way ♪

♪ Hey ♪

♪ All the way ♪

"Just a pizza" tastes different.

Better.

But it could just be
that everything tastes better

when you're a winner.

Don't gloat with your mouth full.

- (BOWIE CHUCKLES)
- Let's see, who am I going to treat

to a free game at Hank's Putt-Putt Farm?

(GROANS) Not it.

(PHONE BUZZING)

Oh. I gotta get this.

I'll be right back.

Hey!

"Hey!"

- What was that?
- It's none of our business.

So there's business.

I didn't say that.

Well, do you know who it is
he's talking to?

- No...
- So you do know.

How did you get that from "no"?

Because I can read you.

That's creepy.

You'd have to be closer
to hear what he's saying.

But I could use some Parmesan.

Why did you yawn?

I don't know. I was
trying to act casual.

- Sorry about that.
- Oh, no problem.

You're allowed to get a phone call.

Thanks?

And you don't have
to tell us who it was.

Okay.

But you can.

But you don't have to.

Hey! Who wants ice cream?

(BOWIE CHUCKLES)

♪ Na-na-na-na-na-na na-na-na now ♪

♪ We're all smiles, we're all smiles ♪

♪ We're all smiles ♪

Is he seeing somebody or not?

I don't know.

Maybe.

Maybe? Who?

I don't know.

You do know.

Stop reading me!

I just need a name.

Give me a name.

There's this plant doctor.

A name.

Miranda.

Miranda.

Miranda the plant doctor.

I don't like it.

It's okay for Bowie to move on.

No, it isn't.

And I can tell
that you don't think so, either.

So, what are we going to do about it?

We're not gonna do anything about it.

Okay, so what am I going to do about it?

Respect his privacy.

No.

I didn't know Cyrus ever got called
into the principal's office.

This is a first.

- What happened?
- Cyrus?

I've been discovered.

- By who?
- Dr. Metcalf. He wants me to star

in some video thing
for the school website.

Some how-to clips to help new kids

navigate their way around the school.

Dude, that's awesome!

I'm so proud of you, Cyrus.
We have to celebrate later.

Where are you going?

Oh, I'm supposed to meet up with Bowie.

Now that you're a star, are you
gonna forget about your friends?

- Of course not. I'll need an entourage.
- Absolutely.

I'll do anything to help.

Actually, I could use a cinematographer.

When do we start?

Is now too soon?

Actually, it is for me. I gotta make

sure this and this are camera ready.

Okay. BRB, JB! (LAUGHS)

(SIGHS) Actors.

- Finally.
- Sorry. Forgot the room number.

And the time we were supposed to meet.

- I'm bad with numbers.
- Stop with the lame excuses.

This isn't gonna work if you're
not gonna take this seriously.

Please don't waste my time, T.J.

Are you going to take this seriously?

Yeah.

Then let's get started.

Okay, first we're gonna work on how to

evaluate an expression with variables.

♪ ♪

So what do you wanna talk about?

Oh, anything! You decide.

But you said that you had something

that you wanted to talk to me about.

Oh! Did I? Right.

Are you seeing someone?

What gave you that idea?

Oh! I don't know, maybe the way you said

"Hey!" into your phone.

You're not gonna tell me you were
just talking to your dentist.

- He's a very good dentist.
- Oh, yeah.

And how does he compare
to, say, your plant doctor?

(SIGHS) Okay. So you know.

What do I know?

I was gonna talk to you guys.

But it's... still really early.

So there's not a lot to talk about.

Well, there's "yes" and there's "no."

So, are you seeing someone?

Yes?

Yeah.

Oh.

So, Miranda, right?

That's her name?

Yes, that's her name.

Well, keep going. What else?

I've only seen her a couple times.

Well, I want to meet her.

I don't want you to meet her
unless it's serious.

Aha. So you think it might get serious,

which means serious is on the table.

I don't follow that logic.

(ANDI SCOFFS)

I should meet her before you decide
if it's going to be serious.

You make an interesting point.

(SIGHS)

So this is what I'm gonna do.

Since this is all new territory,

I'm gonna leave it up to me.

Are you okay with that?

Fine.

Well, can I at least meet your dentist?

Cyrus, how much longer?

Lookin' good!

Okay, then it's showtime!

♪ ♪

Action!

If you're thinking that middle
school is a scary place,

you're not alone.
Hi, Guyrus Goodman here...

- Cut!
- What'd I do?

You said "Guyrus."

Oh. I did?

Weird. Let's just... Let's go again.

And... action!

Hi, Cyrus Goodman here.

I'm in seventh grade at Jesterton...
I mean, Jefferson Middle Shul...

I mean, school!

Sorry. I've got bar
mitzvah on the brain.

Do you need a minute?

Oh, no, it's all good.
Let's just keep rolling.

I've got all afternoon
and percent battery.

Action!

Here's where you're gonna be
spending most of your time

in middle school, your locker.

Some of you are gonna be
seeing it from the inside,

but don't worry about that now.

With just five minutes between classes,

speed is key.

Like so.

Ta-da!

Now that's what you wanna avoid.

Now that we've covered the "don'ts"...

Sometimes you just
gotta put some muscle into it.

(GRUNTING)

Jonah, you think you could help
me find someone with some muscle?

Wait. Is that even your locker?

No, it is not.

Cut.

Dude, you're startin'
to sweat a little.

Oh, I am?

You missed some.

Really?

Okay. So, X equals in this equation.

So, what is Y?

Okay. Y is .

Just give me the sum total.

I don't know.

I really am trying to help you, T.J.,

but I can't if you won't
even answer basic questions.

I don't know the answer, okay?

Okay. Let's try some pre-algebra.

Mr. Brown went grocery shopping...

How come someone's always
shopping in these problems?

Come up here and work it out.

Nah. I can do it from here.

(SIGHS)

Twenty-five.

How did you arrive at that answer?

Is it right?

- No.
- Then who cares how I got it?

Because it helps
to know your thought process.

I guessed.

Does that help?

T.J., if you don't know
the answer, that's fine.

But you have to be honest with me.

Do any of these types of problems
even look familiar to you?

Sure. I've seen 'em before.

Couldn't do them then,
and I can't do them now.

Maybe you need to do
some warm-up exercises?

Like with basketball! You have a

better chance of making a tough basket

if you're warmed up.

Seriously? You're gonna
use basketball analogies?

Like, do you think that's the
only thing I'll understand?

Hey, you know what really helps me?

The multiplication tables!

And you gotta try this board.

It's super fun!

Pass.

Fine. Use paper if you want.

You do know the
multiplication tables, right?

You think I'm stupid?

I never said that.

Well... I am.

You know, I'm starting to think
that I don't wanna meet Miranda.

Because if I do,
that means it's serious,

and I can't handle another parent

or parent equivalent.

Hey... no matter what happens,

we're his family,
and you're his daughter.

Nothing's gonna change that.

Yeah. I know. You're right.

Besides, we both know that this
story ends with Bex and Bowie

living happily ever after.

Andi...

You live in your world,
I'll live in mine.

Action!

This is where you go to
get a hall pass. I think.

There's so much sweat in my eyes.

Cut.

(EXHALES) My winning personality's
leaking out of my pores.

Let's take a break.

Yeah, yeah, good idea.

It's gonna be okay, Cyrus,
you just need to calm down.

Yeah, sure, yeah. I'll go do that.

♪ Legs go up, legs go down ♪

♪ That's how we make
the swing go 'round ♪

♪ Drag your feet, you go slow ♪

♪ The more you drag, the less you go ♪

- ♪ Legs go up... ♪
- Nice song.

What do you sing
when you're on the slide?

♪ We go down, we say "yay" ♪

♪ We don't climb up,
that's the wrong way ♪

Huh. Did not expect you'd
have a song for that.

Chocolate chocolate chip muffin, right?

Scary basketball guy.

Actually, T.J.

I know. Cyrus.

So, do you hang out here a lot?

Only when I'm feeling bad about myself.

So... fairly often.

Hm.

- Does it help?
- It helps me.

Go on, you look like you need it.

(SIGHS)

Wow, this does
kinda make me feel better.

What do you need to feel better about?

You're the captain
of the basketball team.

You don't know me. I got stuff.

Bet you I got more stuff.

Yeah? Bet you I can swing higher.

I'm afraid to swing high.
That's part of my stuff.

(CHUCKLES) Woo!

I don't know why
I ever stopped swingin'!

(LAUGHS) Come on, get up here!

This is as up as I go.

Woo! (CHUCKLES)

Waah! Aah!

Aah!

- Underdog!
- Aah! Whoa.

That was exhilarating!

- You want another one?
- No, thank you.

Hm, too bad.

Um... Aah!

(SCREAMS) Whoa!

(BOTH LAUGHING)

(SCREAMS) Woohoo!

Cyrus! You okay?

I... I gotta go.

T.J.?

No. T.J. You don't have to.

- Buffy, she's really cool...
- Yeah, no.

But thanks for reminding me
about swinging.

That helped.

I'm out.

Hold up a sec!

Did you get my text?

Yeah.

Cyrus, can you give us the playground?

Yeah, um... you know where to find me.

And so do you.

(SIGHS)

So, what's the big news
you just had to tell me?

So I did some research,
and I think I found something.

You may have a problem with numbers.

You had to research that?

No, I mean, I think
you have a learning disability.

It's like dyslexia, but with numbers.

I know it sounds bad,
but this is actually good news.

What's good about it?

You can learn math.

You're just wired differently.

The first step is to get you tested.

We have to talk to Mr. Coleman.

No, we don't have to do anything.

And stop web-diagnosing my issues.

I'm sorry, I'm trying to help you.

Well, you're not.

And don't tell people
I have a learning disability.

I'd rather they just think I'm stupid.

♪ ♪

You okay?

I think so. Drier, at least.

So, what's the plan, Good-man?

I'm ready to give it another go, but

I wanna try a different approach.

I'm game.

Come on.

See, guys? Not so hard once
you get the hang of it.

And you will get the hang of it.

And... cut.

That was perfect. You're a natural.

I don't know, Cyrus. Metcalf
wants you to do this, not me.

Listen, don't worry about Metcalf.

I can handle him.

Sure, he was set on me,
but he's gonna love you.

Everyone does.

Meanwhile, I like it back here,
where I call all the sh*ts.

Okay, Mr. Director. what's next?

All right, slow down
there, Sparky, listen.

I got a couple of notes for you.

This time, I wanna believe
you're having fun

opening your locker.

♪ La-la-la-la-la-la-la la-la-la-la ♪

♪ La-la-la-la-la-la-la la-la-la-la ♪

Follow the club through the swing.

End with the putter
pointing towards the hole.

- (LAUGHS)
- Maybe this isn't my game.

Oh, maybe.

I know what you're thinking: this

would be more fun if Bowie were here.

It's not too late to call him.

I don't wanna call him. You call him.

I don't wanna call him.
This is your issue.

Can we just golf?

Or whatever it is I'm doing?

(LAUGHS)

Wait! You did call him!

No, I didn't.
What are you talking about?

♪ ♪

- Is that...?
- Miranda.

- I'm gonna go say hi.
- No, don't do that to Bowie.

I'm not allowed to talk to him?

He's my dad.

All right. You're gonna hit it

right through those doors, all right?

It wasn't that Bowie didn't want
me to meet Miranda.

- Wow!
- Yeah!

Yeah!

He didn't want me to meet Miranda...

and her daughter.

All right, hold on.

♪ Buildings crumble ♪

♪ The walls come tumblin' down ♪

♪ Where we meet ♪

ANDI: Next, on Andi Mack...

Picking the right look can make

- or break a bar mitzvah.
- Happy to help.

I need to talk to you
about my math thing.

I'm happy you wanna deal with this.

But in the meantime, I need someone

- to do my math homework.
- Me?

Remember you promised
to pass me the ball?

- Yeah.
- Time out!

You just say what you need to say

to get what you want,
but you don't mean any of it.

I kinda think I'm not really
a bracelet guy.

You asked me to make it for you.

Now when I wear this, it feels like

a girlfriend-y, boyfriend-y thing.

And that's bad because...?