03x10 - The Quacks

[bunniefuu]

Previously on Andi Mack...

I'm failing, and I have
a GPA to think about.

There... is another option.

Good. Strong arms!

Five, six, seven and one.

I've made a huge mistake.

Andi, Libby.

Libby, Andi.

We didn't really break up.

We just agreed we
were better as friends.

You can't break up with him.

But that's a whole other story!

Look, he is a really great guy.

Please, do not break up with
him because of what I said

Will you? Will you? Will you...

Will I what?!

Will you... go to fall formal with me?

No.

You guys really thought I'd say yes?

I never liked all that
Secret Society stuff.

- And those robes.
- And the chanting?

Points for creativity!

But kind of a sick way
to ask someone to a dance.

Not to mention:

I don't like surprises...

I don't like being put on the spot...

and the last thing I ever
wanna be is predictable.

I feel bad for the guy.

His heart was in the right place.

And you still really like him, right?

Ehh...

- Hold up!
- Excuse me?

- You don't like him?
- Since when?

Now I really feel bad for the guy.

- What happened?
- I don't want to say.

We are well past
the point of not saying.

He made me shoes.

What's that? Speak up.

He made me shoes!

He did?

Like he made me shoes?

That is so wrong.

- It is?
- It's a signature move!

Imagine if you'd worn
those shoes to the dance.

And there were all these other
girls wearing his shoes?

- Ughh!
- Blechh!

So, you're breaking up
with him, obviously.

Yeah. We're done. It's over.

I haven't been answering his
texts, or taking his calls.

Ghosting is unreliable.

If you really want this
relationship to end,

you need to tell him in person.

Come on. He knows!

I'm sure he knows.

How can he not know?

He's a guy.

Ahem.

What are you doing here?

I reserved the studio for this hour.

What are you doing here?

Rehearsing.

What? Being electrocuted?

I'm supposed to come up with an original
dance for my choreography final

and perform it in front of the class.

Well...

you have the "original" part down.

I don't know why I'm even trying.

I can't come up with any count
of eight that doesn't start

with jazz hands and end
with me twisting my ankle.

- You need a tutor.
- I know, but it's too late.

Nobody's gonna want to take
this on at the last minute.

What about me?

Yeesh, fine. "How are you, Amber?"

Sorry for talking about my
problems for, like, five minutes.

No, I mean I'll be your tutor.

Really? You'd do that?

Why not? I mean...

I still owe you for all
those counseling sessions.

That really wasn't
professional-level counseling.

Well, it looks like this won't really
be professional-level dancing.

True dat.

Okay...

I have a surprise for you guys.

Ooh!

Wait. This is it, isn't it?

The surprise puppy!

Ohh, the dream.

Am I ready? I'm not ready.

I want the cuddles,
but not the clean-up.

- It's not a puppy.
- Oh...

Well, now I do feel ready.

Ta-da!

- Wow...
- I like it!

Who are the Quinns?

We're the Quinns!

Or, at least, we will be pretty soon.

So I'll be Andi Quinn.

Andi Quinn...

I like the sound of that!

Well, it's your choice.

If you want your name to be that,

then that's what it will be.

Don't we all want the same last name?

I do.

Well, you're not the one losing yours.

I mean, does it really matter?

A lot of families don't
have the same last name.

Like us! We don't have the
same last name right now.

It's just...

We're making it official.

I thought, when we do,

that we'd be The Quinns.

Is that important to you?

Well...

yeah.

I just... I can't believe
I didn't know this.

Then it's our family name.

And it's a sign... hence, the sign...

that we're a unit, we're a tribe.

Together, the way that we
were always meant to be.

And I think it's important we
get to choose our own identity.

Including our name.

I like being a Mack.

It rhymes with a lot of stuff.

It's stitched on my bowling shirt.

It's who I am.

How do you feel?

Well...

what if we did a mash-up?

I mean, combine Quinn and Mack,

and come up with our
very own custom-made name!

You mean like the Quacks?

Yeah, that's not gonna work.

Okay! Let's warm up.

Touch your toes.

Yeah,

I can't do that.

The closest I can get...

is my knees.

Seriously?

My grandpa can touch his toes.

Your grandpa is from a
generation that played outside.

This body was built watching internet
videos on a memory foam mattress.

Okay, put your arms in first position.

You mean "beach ball."

Excuse me?

That's how I memorized
the arm positions.

"Fat man,"

"beach ball,"

"full moon,"

"big fish."

You're kidding.

Right now you're doing
"disappointed teacher."

Okay...

five, six, seven, eight.

Step-touch, right step,

pivot-turn, and hip hip.

No way.

That's too hard!

Oh, really?

Then how 'bout this?

Okay, show me the other one again.

Okay.

Wow.

We are going to lose so bad.

We know.

You've been saying it all week.

But I hoped we'd just lose kinda bad.

This is going to be humiliating.

Aren't you supposed to say something

captain-y, like, um...

"All we can do is our best!"

Yeah, probably.

Hello,

sorry I'm late!

I brought orange slices.

Hey, Coach.

Oh, please, call me Deborah.

"Coach" is so formal,

and anyhow, I don't know
a thing about basketball.

Although, I was quite the superstar
of my school's badminton team,

the Shuttle-chicks.

Thanks for agreeing to do this.

Oh. Let's be honest,
I was your last hope.

But I want to support the
first girls' basketball team

ever in the history of the school!

It's an important milestone!

Which will forever
be recorded as a bloodbath.

Well...

If there's anything
I can do to help, just

let me know.

And please keep in mind:
I am a guidance counselor first,

and a basketball coach not at all.

Well, look on the bright side.

I would love to.

- What is it?
- Yeah...

probably won't have enough
girls to play at all.

What do you mean?

Isn't anyone else coming?

I don't think so.

- Why not?
- Well, maybe

because you told them we were
going to lose no matter what?

And that it was going
to be really embarrassing?

Yeah, okay, that would
have been embarrassing.

But now we're going to have to
forfeit, which is way worse!

I can fix this.

I'll just call them.

I think something's up.

Buffy doesn't look too happy.

Are you still thinking
about breaking up with Jonah?

Why?

Are you guys talking about me?

No!

I'm going to get a drink.

Do you want anything?

Do you want something to drink?

I feel bad...

talking behind his back.

We're not talking behind his back.

We are talking in front of his face.

I know...

I can't believe it!

No one's coming!

Not "no one."

Four of us showed up.

Four would be great
if we were bobsledding,

but we need five to play basketball!

We only need one more player.

Just one...

Found her.

Come on. You're playing.

What? I don't know
how to play basketball!

Then you'll fit right in.

- What's going on there?
- No idea.

Nice to see you.

You've gotten really good at that.

I really like talking with my hands.

Turns out, this hand will
give it to you straight.

But this hand is a silver-tongued devil.

Will you ask Libby if she's mad at me?

Sure.

Are you mad at Jonah?

What did she say?

You should really learn sign language.

I know, I know, but what did she say?

That is what she said.

You. Should. Learn. Sign language.

Oh...

I'm sorry...

Can you tell her "I'm sorry"?

He's sorry.

I don't get it.

I thought texting was working fine.

It was "fine."

Fine to start with, but you two
have been going out for awhile.

She's probably wondering
why you haven't leveled up,

so that you can talk face to face.

So, why didn't she just say that?

She has been saying that.

You just haven't bothered to
learn enough sign to get it.

I know.

You're right.

She's right.

Why haven't you tried to learn?

I don't know.

Yes, you do.

You just haven't asked
yourself the question.

Professionally, my stepmom
calls it "avoidance."

At home, she calls it "that
thing Dad does when he golfs."

I guess I'm afraid I'll be bad at it.

What if I say something
wrong and look stupid?

You won't look stupid.

And even if you do...

you'll look like you care enough to try.

- Hey.
- Hey.

So, I thought we should
talk after yesterday's...

"Quinn-cident."

"Quinn-cident."

- Nice.
- Yeah, yeah.

But seriously.

It made me think there might be
other things we should talk about

before the wedding, just to make sure

we're both in agreement
on the important stuff.

I'm down.

What are these for?

Well, I thought we could
take turns asking questions,

and we both write down an answer.

We won't read them until we're done,

that way we'll know they're honest.

Cool. I'm ready.

Okay.

You ask first.

Anything?

Anything.

Calzones...

a genius invention,

or just a good way to burn your mouth?

Bowie! Be serious!

You know I hate calzones.

The cheese is always
the temperature of the sun.

Okay, okay, um...

Do you want to live
in Shadyside forever?

Ohh.

- Good one.
- Thanks.

Hey!

- No peeking!
- Sorry.

Okay, fine. My turn.

Would you ever want to have...

more kids?

Whoa!

Coming in hot!

Like a calzone, baby.

This is just a yes
or no question, right?

Remind me again why I'm doing this?

Because you're a good friend.

I know. Question is, are you?

Ugh!

All right, you called it.
This is a bloodbath.

Time out!

I only have one thing to say.

Look, Buffy, we're really try...

Thank you.

For what?

For showing up.

I haven't been a great captain.

Scratch that...
I've been a terrible captain.

I was so afraid to lose, and I thought
losing was the worst thing ever.

But it's not.

Today, we almost didn't get to play.

Look at that!

Knew it was bad.

Didn't know it was that bad.

The score doesn't matter!

What matters is that
we are on that scoreboard!

We are here, and we are on the court,
and we are playing basketball!

Because you showed up.

That's what matters.

That's all that matters!

Now... let's go out there and lose!

Buffy! Buffy! Buffy...

That was my first huddle!

I didn't know they were so fun!

sh**t! You got this!

Yes!

Whoa!

Ow...

All right, go get 'em!

I can't believe Andi scored!

Wait, why is the other
team cheering for her, too?

Because it was their basket.

Oh...

Still!

Wooo!

- Can I be honest?
- Yes.

You're quite good at it.

I'm really surprised.

- Same here.
- We are...

shockingly compatible.

I mean, there's still some
stuff we need to work on.

But most of the big things,
we got those right.

It's so nice we both
want the same things.

I know.

But how are we going to get them? Nope!

Don't answer.

That's for another day,

for another pad of paper.

No more rounds of the
Not-Yet-Newlyweds game.

I have one more question.

What did I just say-ay-ay-ay!

- Hey! Who wants pizza?
- We both do!

That is correct!

Oh, no, no...

Will... you... teach... me...

sign language?

Yes!

I... like... you.

I... like... you...

too?

...too.

Too.

- You got this.
- Definitely.

If "this" is a big case
of the noodle knees.

- Just remember what I told you.
- Right.

You worked too hard for me to blow this.

Exactly.

Also, you'll be great.

Showtime!

♪ I used to worry
'bout the little things ♪

♪ But little things mean a lot ♪

♪ Every night starin'
at the same walls ♪

♪ Wonderin' if it's all I got ♪

♪ I just need a helping hand ♪

♪ It seems to end before it has begun ♪

♪ When yesterday used to be so good ♪

♪ But now I've come a little undone ♪

♪ But then she said... ♪

♪ Everything's gonna be alright ♪

♪ The sun's gonna shine real bright ♪

♪ You gotta dance
like you just don't care ♪

♪ Ohh ♪

♪ It'll never get you anywhere ♪

- Another surprise?
- Trust me, you'll like this one.

What did we learn about assuming things?

Okay, I, uh, hope

that you'll like it.

Oh, yay, a new sign.

"The Macks"?

What'd you think?

I like it...

but now, your name won't be on the door.

Yes, it will.

Because I'm gonna change it.

You're looking

at the future Mr. Bowie Mack.

- Really?
- Yeah!

Come on, we're a tribe.

Yeah we are!

What do you think?

You're really sure you
want to be one of us?

Only if it's forever.

Hey, it's me.

Um, but look, so,

the last time I saw you...

I don't think I handled
things very well.

Listen,

this is really hard for
me to say over the phone.

Can we please meet up?

Sure, we can do that.

Next on Andi Mack...

Shiva's about friends and
family being together to...

comfort one another and share stories.

That sounds like a really nice thing
to do when you've just lost someone.

Sorry.

- Who was that?
- Nobody!

I'll be right back.

I read that people
bring food to a Shiva.

- Bowie made a kugel.
- It's a shanda.

It's delicious!

- No! A shanda is a disgrace.
- Wow...

Hey, you're okay.

You know what this is,
it's a panic att*ck.

It will end... yes, it will!