03x12 - The Ex Factor

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Andi Mack". Aired: March 10, 2017 - July 26, 2019.*
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Life goes from normal to a roller-coaster ride overnight for artistic teenager Andi on the eve of her 13th birthday.
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03x12 - The Ex Factor

Post by bunniefuu »

ANDI: Previously on Andi Mack...

You seem to know Bowie.

You could say that.

Do you know if he's seeing anyone?

- I don't think so...
- 'Cause I was thinking I'd like to...

ask him out.

BOWIE: So Morgan did
steal the prayer box.


And you knew she stole it?

You made it look like
it was all Andi's fault.

BEX: So, um,

you and Miranda?

She's out of my life forever.

Andi, Libby.

Libby, Andi.

(SIGNING AND SPEAKING) I...

like... you.

Okay, everybody!

Write down a wish you want
to send up in your lantern.

(ALL CHEERING)

♪ ♪

Whoa...

♪♪

♪ I walk in like how do you do ♪

♪ And I don't mean to be
rude, or even act a fool ♪


♪ I just do a little better
with an attitude ♪


♪ So riki tiki tiki tum tum ♪

♪ Sticky icky icky
like it's Bubble Yum ♪


♪ Getting some, going dumb ♪

♪ Maybe we shut it down
when trouble gets loud ♪


♪ It's on the tip of your tongue ♪

♪ Turn the bass up ♪

♪ Girl pick your face up ♪

♪ I wanna see you move ♪

♪ Turn the lights down ♪

CYRUS: Hey!

♪ It's gonna get loud ♪

(MUSIC STOPS)

It's looking good!

You like it?

- BUFFY: We love it!
- CYRUS: Like it?

I can't believe you made
it look like a barn.

It's got everything but a weather-vane.

- (CYRUS EXHALES)
- (CHUCKLES)

Anything we can do to help?

Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

It's basically done.

(MUSIC STARTS AGAIN)

♪ All day looking like you're 'Yonce ♪

♪ Sippin on some... ♪

I love group projects.

So fun.

(THEME MUSIC PLAYS)

♪ I'm standin' on the edge ♪

♪ And everything I know-oh-oh
is blown away ♪


♪ Life is upside down ♪

♪ But any way it goes I'll work it out ♪

♪ Oh oh oh oh oh ♪

♪ Here we go ♪

- ♪ One, two, three ♪
- ♪ I'm ready for tomorrow ♪


♪ Tomorrow starts today ♪

♪ There ain't a map to follow ♪

♪ But I'm with you all the way ♪

♪ I'm ready for tomorrow ♪

- ♪ Tomorrow starts today ♪
- ♪ Hey ♪


♪ There ain't a map to follow ♪

- ♪ But I'm with you all the way ♪
- ♪ Hey ♪


♪ All the way ♪

Oh...

Huh...

this is a surprise.

Hi, Bowie.

Hi, Bowie.

Hi...

so...

I'm trying to come up
with some small talk,

but I can't.

What are you doing here?

Hey, Morgie, look, they have drums.

Well, at least I know she can't walk off

with one of those.

Sorry, that was funnier in my head.

I just wanted you to know...

what you said the last time I saw you...

I really took it to heart.

You were right, about everything.

Oh...

It meant facing some pretty
hard truths about my parenting.

But I'm a much better mom because of it,

and Morgan is definitely a happier kid.

MIRANDA: No more acting out.

I'm really proud of her,

and proud of you, too.

So it's okay that we
stopped by to see you?

She asks about you all the time.

My mom has a new boyfriend.

Oh, does she?

What's his name?

I call him "Not Bowie."

Well, that's a weird name.

She misses you.

And we heard that you're giving
guitar lessons these days.

Guess who wants to learn how to play?

- I do!
- Uh...

Would you be willing to...?

I'd love to,

but...

my schedule's kind of
booked up right now.

You don't want to because you hate me.

Morgan!

Look, I do not hate you.

Not even a little bit.

All right, you know what?
I have some time right now.

Are you ready to do this?

I was born ready.

Yeah.

Go check out some guitars.

See if there's one you like.

You are the most amazing person.

(BOTH CHUCKLE)

Hey, she's not the only
one who's missing you.

But... you have a boyfriend.

He really is...

not you.

Well... I'm engaged.

Oh.

Oh!

Wow.

- That's wonderful!
- BOWIE: Yeah.

You're getting married!

I am!

Congratulations.

To who?

♪ ♪

AMBER: Okay, so Andi has
the breakfast sandwich,

Buffy has the fiesta scramble,

and Cyrus has the berry smoothie.

Actually, that was blueberry pancakes.

- Fine, if you're gonna be picky.
- ANDI: Wait.

- Jonah hasn't ordered.
- JONAH: Oh!

No worries.

I'm good, thanks.

You're not hungry?

(CHUCKLES) Then why did
you come to breakfast?

Yeah, you could have slept in.

I'm fine.
I'm just here to enjoy your company.

That's sweet!

And weird...

This guy claims this
isn't what he ordered.

Stupid, right?

- CYRUS: Totally.
- JONAH: So dumb.

You're a great waitress.

Anyway, I'm supposed to toss this.

Do you want it?

Oh, well, if it's just going
to go to waste, sure.

- Enjoy.
- Thanks.

(QUIETLY): Oh, man.

What? Should I wait?

No, no, go ahead.

That was pretty nice of her, huh?

Amber's a nice person.

Not that nice.

♪ ♪

(GASPS)

Guess what I just finished addressing!

Congress.

No, silly,

your wedding invitations.

They're all ready for you to mail.

Look how beautiful.

Ooh, I didn't realize I was
having a royal wedding.

Well, it won't be a junkyard
hootenanny, if that's what you mean.

They're very beautiful, Mom.

Thank you. (CHUCKLES)

I was going to mail them myself,

since I designed them, and ordered them,

and addressed them,

and stamped them,

and pick the date that's on them.

But you should do it.

It's your special day.

Hi, Bex...

Hey...

Well, if it isn't Melinda.

Here to accuse us of losing
something your daughter stole?

Actually, Bowie just
told me the good news.

I came to congratulate
you on your engagement.

Thank you...?

(SCOFFS) Sure.

It's all sweetness and light until
someone loses a Tibetan prayer box.

Oh, that's right.
You're the grandmother.

Oh, and she's also headed to
the back office, right, Mom?

Where I will be watching this entire
exchange on the security cameras.

Just FYI.

She is fun.

We enjoy her.

I really did just come to
give you my best wishes.

I get that I blew my chance to be
friends with you a long time ago,

but I truly am happy for you.

Well, thank you.

- If you really mean it.
- I do.

You and Bowie make
such a perfect couple.

I just wish my relationship
with Morgan's father

was more like yours.

Instead of, well... (IMITATES expl*si*n)

Oh...

Can I ask what caused the...
(IMITATES expl*si*n)

Honestly?

I never saw it coming.

For six years, we had
a pretty perfect relationship.

And then...?

And then, we got married.

Really?

Well, what happened?

Suddenly it felt like we were
together because we had to be,

and not because we wanted to be.

We started spending
more time apart, and then,

eventually it felt like we were living
two completely different lives...

until we couldn't remember

why we were together in the first place.

Oh... sounds awful.

Oh, don't worry!

That's not gonna happen
to you and Bowie.

You guys have what it takes
to make a marriage work.

♪ ♪

- So... Morgan.
- Present.

Your mom says I can trust you.

I know I was bad.

But I promise, I'm on my best behavior.

Cross your heart?

I'll keep my hands
where you can see them.

Good.

Now, let's choose you a guitar.

Like in Harry Potter?
When they choose you a wand?

Yeah, kind of.

Do you have mahogany
and dragon heartstring?

(SUCKS TEETH) No, but
I'm sure I can find you

a mahogany and...

mahogany.

Sure!

One sec.

Let's see...

you'll need something
on the small side...

Yeah.

How 'bout this?

♪ ♪

Morgan?

I can't see your hands!

♪ ♪

Morgan!

Morgan!

Did anyone see a little girl
with long blond hair?

Uh, no...

It's fine, she's just one of those kids

that likes to play games. It's...

Morgan!

You win! You can come out now!

Trust me, she's fine.

Morgan!

♪ ♪

BUFFY: We could go to a movie.

It's too nice a day to go to the movies.

Let's do something outside.

Okay, Mom.

Hey! Sometimes, they are right.

Not hiking.

I don't want to get another tick.

That wasn't a tick, that was a pen mark.

We don't know that for sure.

It was on your shirt.

And it was blue.

If it looks like a tick, and if it sends
you down a fear spiral like a tick,

then it may as well be a tick!

This is exactly what I wanted to do,

talk about ticks all day.

- (SCOFFS)
- Unless you have a better idea.

Let's go to Adrenaline City.

We haven't been there in forever!

BUFFY: And they have a
new roller coaster!

I have motion sickness patches,
we're good to go!

Sounds fun.

Um, but I think I'm gonna
sit this one out.

Seriously?

Yeah, I'm just not really
feeling Adrenaline City today.

Well, we could do something else.

No, I... have some weekend homework

I should probably start anyway.

Homework? On a Saturday morning?

Jeez, what's the opposite
of Adrenaline City?

Snooze Town.

Okay, guys, cool it.

He doesn't have to come
if he doesn't want to.

- Did I hear someone say Adrenaline City?
- Yeah!

I heard their new roller coaster makes
one out of three people throw up.

Odds are one of us could be
re-tasting our breakfast.

Doesn't that make you
want to come, Jonah?

Jonah's not coming?

Are you sure?

Because I happen
to have two free tickets,

and one of them could be yours.

Yeah, why not?

You guys are right. What'd they say?

"You can... do homework
when you're dead?"

Actually, I think it's "sleep,"

but who cares? You're coming!

Unexpected twist.

Okay, I'll just go change real quick.

Hold up for a minute.

- Hey, thanks for that.
- I'm glad you're coming.

You know what's going
on here, don't you?

There's something going on?

Tell us.

♪ ♪

Jonah and Amber
are getting back together.

♪ ♪

(INDISTINCT CONVERSATION)

(INDISTINCT THEME PARK CHATTER)

♪♪

- (SCREAMING)
- ♪ I hear sugar on the radio ♪


♪ I'm all oh la la honey here we go ♪

♪ So if you have a minute

And feel like you can give it ♪

♪ I'm down for trouble
with ya any time ♪


♪ Na na na na na na na na na ♪

♪ Na na na na na na na na na
You got me feeling like ♪


Thank you!

♪ Na na na na na na na na na ♪

♪ So baby whatcha waiting for ♪

♪ You better not mistake me for ♪

♪ Someone wasting time

♪ Cause that's something
that I can't afford ♪


♪ I'm honest, when I
say you're flawless ♪


♪ Move me like the comets ♪

♪ Rocket ship and put me on it ♪

♪ Na na na na na na na na na ♪

♪ Na na na na na na na Ooh-ooh ♪

♪ Na na na na na na na na na Ooh ♪

♪ Na na na na na ♪

- (SCREAMING)
- ♪ I'm a woman, I'm gonna own it ♪


♪ So baby build a rocket
ship and put me on it ♪


(VOCALIZING)

♪ Like a woman, and I want it ♪

♪ So baby build a rocket
ship and put me on it ♪


See? They're a couple.

No, they're not.

Jonah is dating Libby.

Andi.

They're sharing a pretzel.

That's basically middle school marriage.

Guys, I really don't think that
that's what's going on here.

And yet, we have the evidence
right in front of us.

Dipped in mustard.

Jonah didn't even want to come
today until Amber invited him.

And what about his new free
food privileges at the Spoon?

She's still not convinced.

(SCOFFS) How could you not be?

Unless...

she knows something we don't.

Like what?

Like what?

♪ ♪

Morgan!

Morgan!

Morgan!

Morgan?

Morgan?

Bowie!

(SIGHS) Miranda...

What's wrong? Where's Morgan?

Look, I am so sorry.

For what? You're scaring me.

I just took my eyes
off her for a second...

- (SIGHS) she disappeared.
- Disappeared?

You lost her?!

Look, I don't know what to do, I've
been looking everywhere for her.

I think we should call the police.

- Boo!
- (MIRANDA LAUGHS)

Did you see his face?

I did, Morgie! He was so worried!

Wait... did you know where
she was this whole time?

Yeah.

She does this with me, too.

Once in an airport!

What can I do? It's her favorite game.


- It's fun!
- Not for me.

Oh, come on. Don't be mad.

(SIGHS)

Ugh, what's the point?

No! Please, tell me.

What were you gonna say?

Why?

So you can show up in a few weeks,

thank me for my honesty, and
tell me how much I helped you?

♪ ♪

Find someone else to play games with.

I'm out.

Are we getting Bowie back?

No, sweetie.

♪ ♪

This is the first time I'm
showing this to anyone.

What is it?

It's the wish Jonah made
at the Moon Festival.

It fell off his lantern.

Jonah's never really
mastered the glue stick.

I didn't ask him about it at the time

because we'd just invented
the "no break up" break up.

And then I thought I should
wait for him to bring it up,

but he never did.

- And then all this time passed...
- Just show it to us already!

"I wish my family could be happy again."

What's going on with Jonah's family?

I think they might be
having money problems.

How do you get that?

Well, he hasn't been ordering
anything when we're at the Spoon...

And he didn't want to go
to Adrenaline City

until Amber offered up a free ticket.

That's why Amber's been
hooking him up with stuff.

She must know.

He probably confided in her

because her family went
through something similar.

That's why they've
seemed so close lately.

Not because they're dating.

Gosh, and I was so judge-y!

I feel horrible.

I wish there was something
we could do for him.

Well, we can respect his privacy.

And not jump to conclusions.

But...

right now, that's about it.

Yeah...

Yeah.

Or...

♪ ♪

And it turns out,

Morgan was with Miranda the whole time.

What?!

Those two are like the bad seed,

and the bad tree it came from.

I can't believe I ever dated her.
(GROANS)

You know, she came to see me, too?

- She did?
- Yeah.

And she... said some
things that were scary.

Like what?

Just things.

I don't remember,

all I know is that they scared me.

You gotta get her out of your head.

♪ ♪

You should, too.

Yeah.

(MOANS SOFTLY)

This is nice.

We should do this more often.

BOWIE: I'm so lucky.

To have this family.

To have you back in my life.

To think that I ever
stepped away from it,

- even just for a minute...
- Hey...

You're here.

I'm here.

Our giant hole in the wall is here.

BOWIE: It's true.

I love our life together.

- ♪ There's a hole in the world ♪
- Hope it never changes.

♪ In the shape of you ♪

- Me, too.
- ♪ And it doesn't matter ♪


♪ What I do ♪

♪ I'll always be ♪

♪ Half of two ♪

Hey, guys.

Dad, we need to talk to you.

Ooh, opening with "Dad."

This must be serious.

It is!

- So be serious.
- Okay.

Can you please give Jonah a job here?

Whoa... why?

I... can't tell you.

Yes, you can.

I'm "Dad."

(SIGHS)

Look, I'm really sorry, guys.

But this is a small business.

We can barely afford
the staff we have now.

So much for that idea.

Hey!

Hey, I'm really sorry, dude.

For what?

Not being able to give you the job

they said you needed.

(SCOFFS) Why would you say that?

We just... really wanted to help.

Help?

Help with what?

♪♪

How did you find out?

The night of the Moon Festival,

your wish fell off your lantern.

Well, that explains why it
didn't come true. (SCOFFS)

What does it mean?

You don't have to talk about
it if you don't want to.

It's just... embarrassing.

Dude, you've seen me on a carousel.

After which,
I proceeded to vomit into my shoe.

Sometime last year, my...

my dad made an investment...

which I guess went extremely bad.

I didn't know anything about it
until a couple months ago,

when my parents told me we...

had to declare bankruptcy.

I think of that as a board game word...

not a real life word.

It's kind of the same,

except you don't lose your game piece.

You, uh, you lose your actual house.

Where are you living?

We're staying with relatives.

- Jonah...
- I'm fine!

Really. (SIGHS)

We have a place to stay.

We're still all together.

It's just hard.

Listen,

people declare bankruptcy

all the time.

They get through it,

they come out the other side.

You will, too.

That felt good telling you.

It's like I just took off
a really heavy backpack.

- (JONAH CHUCKLES)
- CYRUS: Dude,

you can always lean on us.

We want you to.

It makes us feel useful.

You don't have to keep secrets.

You can tell us the stuff
you think you can't.

Got it?

Got it...

No more secrets.

♪♪

Hi! Can I just give these to you?

You sure can. Hand them over!

Ooh.

- Are these wedding invitations?
- Yeah.

These are nice!

Professional-grade calligraphy,

limited edition flourishing love stamps.

Silver foil embellishments.

Oh, it was all my mom.

You know, this is my
favorite part of the job,

getting to be a part of this
important moment

when someone's life
is gonna change forever.

- Um...
- Hey! What?!

I don't think I'm gonna mail
these out today after all.

- I'm not... they're not ready.
- But...

I-I just want to spell check them again.

Don't want people having
to choose between

"tricken" and..."boof."

♪♪

Days like these,

I wonder why I even
put on my short shorts.

Wait, stop, we gotta go back.

- I can't find my phone.
- It's in your hand.

Great, it's happening.

I'm gonna be one of those old people

looking for the glasses that
are already on their face.

I think you already are that old person.

I'd like to argue with you, but I found

a piece of hard candy in my pocket.

(BUFFY GIGGLES)

Is that Jonah?

CYRUS: He's with Amber.

I'm really glad he's had
Amber to confide in.

She's been through it, so she knows.

I can't believe I thought they
were actually back together.

They were a toxic couple.

I'm sure neither one of
them wants to revisit that.

But they really work as friends.

They really do.

♪♪

Any one else feel like
their eyes are burning?

ANDI: Next, on Andi Mack.

Metcalf just announced costume day.

That's too soon!

Guys, hello! We know
what we're gonna be!

Mount Rushmore!

What you got goin' on for costume day?

Costume day?

You don't strike me
as a costume day guy.

Do you think Andi'll still be my friend

if I bail on Mount Rushmore?

Quick answer, no.

- I need a sheet!
- BEX: Huh?

For a costume!

Wait, let me help you!

Are these your wedding invitations?
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