06x12 - The Mutants Are Revolting

[bunniefuu]

Good news, everyone!

We've been hired
to make our 100th delivery.

One hundred!

- That's almost 10 per year.
- This calls for a party, baby.

I'm ordering 100 kegs, 100 hookers
and 100 Elvis impersonators

who aren't above a little hooking,
should the occasion arise.

Be very gentle, folks.

This is the soufflé
you're delivering to Mrs. Astor.

Oh, my God, it's Elzar!
Hi, Elzar! Great soufflé, Elzar!

Whatever you do, don't drop it.

See, Mrs. Astor takes
nitroglycerine for her heart,

and being a class act,
she prefers it in soufflé form.

Bam!

To prevent the soufflé from exploding,
Bender will carry it.

He's gyroscopically stable.

Look! Mrs. Astor's mansion,
just across that rickety rope bridge.

Wow, it's ricketier than it looks.
You better try to jump it, Bender.

Okay, let me back up for a running start.

Here I go!

I shall inform Mrs. Astor
that the circus is in town.

- Your soufflé, madam.
- I shall take it here, under my fork.

- Where's the exploding?
- One does not explode in Mrs. Astor's face.

I couldn't eat another bite. Hobsie?

- Well done, sir. Have you a name?
- Hubert Farnsworth, at your service.

A Farnsworth, you say?
Well, if I'm not mistaken,

the Farnsworths have been
in New New York for almost 200 years.

- Yes, I have.
- And I'm his uncle.

How charmingly unconventional.

I can eat a hot dog underwater.

Say, would you Farnsworths
care to be my guests tomorrow

at the Astor Endowment Fundraiser?

- All the best families will be there.
- We can take them.

On April 10, 2912, my late husband and I

set off down Fifth A venue
aboard the Land Titanic,

the largest street-going vessel ever built.

Just four days into her maiden voyage,
as we approached 32nd Street,

the land liner struck a mailbox
and went down.

2,000 souls were lost that day,
including my dear husband.

In loving memory,
I established the Mr. Astor Endowment,

which this year supports
the United Mutant Scholarship Fund.

Mutants? That's the kind of thing you are.

Shh. You know mutants aren't allowed
on the surface.

If anyone asks, say I'm an alien, remember?

- Right. You gonna finish that roll?
- Shh.

Now, a short film about those
pitiable creatures so in need of our charity.

Far beneath the everyday
rumble of limousines and poodle feet,

there toil a downtrodden people even
less well off than the upper middle class.

The noble sewer mutants.

For, you see,
generations of exposure to toxic sewage

mutated them into horrific monsters!

Shut up.

These industrious, uh, people, I guess,

maintain the various pipes and poop chutes

that keep decent,
above-ground society functioning.

And where do these proud toileteers
learn their menial skills?

At Brown University, the nation's
premiere institution of lower learning.

So please, give generously,

knowing some poor helpless mutant
will thank you.

Not in person, thank God.

- Well, that was disturbing.
- I understand, dear. They are hideous.

Look, I guess you mean well,
but isn't that university

just a tax-deductible
sewer-cleaning service?

My dear, that school
is about much more than sewer pipes.

Really?

It's also about
keeping those filthy things busy.

There are thousands of them down there,
breeding like rats.

My great uncle once saw a rat.

If we don't keep them busy,

they'll start jabbering about equal rights
in their ill-bred manner.

Let's go. If I say one more thing,
I might say it with my evening boot.

Well! Rarely have I never!

Please, don't blame Leela.
She's just a little ill-bred.

You know how mutants are.

Your companion is a mutant?

But if anyone asks,
say she's an alien.

Help! Police!

You may have eluded the authorities,
but don't nothing get past Mrs. Astor.

- What's going to happen to me?
- Permanent deportation, you mutant.

You going downtown, baby. Way down.

Incoming!

- Thanks, Colonel.
- Just doing my job, ma'am.

Mom, Dad, I can't believe I have to
spend the rest of my life in this hellhole.

- I'm sorry.
- It's okay, sweetie.

Now that you're here, this hellhole
feels more like a nice, regular hole.

What do you say
we go get some sewer coffee,

sewer cake and Safeway ice cream.

Well, the bottom's all stocked
with cheap stuff.

Who's in the mood to party?

Whoo!

- Poor Leela. I feel like I ruined her life.
- You did ruin her life.

- You might be right, Hermes.
- I am right.

I almost feel like we should do something
to help her.

We should do something!

I don't care what you say, Hermes.
Let's go.

Oh, mighty Mayor,
we're here about Turanga Leela.

- You mean Leela?
- Right.

I mean, sure, she's a mutant,
we've known that for years,

but we kept it secret
'cause she's a fine, upstanding...

Wait. You knowingly
attempted to harbor a mutant?

We did harbor a mutant! Uh-oh.

Look, Leela, there's Old Filthful.

- Urgh!
- And there's the West Side Pipeway.

If those guys slack off for even a second,
it could explode.

Hey, guys! This is my daughter, Leela.

- Hey.
- How you doing?

Well, they're with the chuds now.

These conditions are deplorable.

I swear,
I hate every single person on the surface

for making us live like this.

- Leela!
- What are you doing here?

We were sentenced to two weeks
in the sewer for harboring a mutant.

$3 at the drugstore.

I'm so sorry I ratted you out,
but, you know, after two weeks down here,

I'll truly understand
the plight of the mutant people.

How dare you.

You want to understand something?
Look at that lake.

One dip in that toxic muck

and your DNA will be
permanently mutated.

You'll grow a camel hump
or a Zoidberg face.

Urgh!

You want to know what it's like
to be a mutant?

Jump in and go for a swim.

I would,
but I ate a bunch of potato salad, so...

Yeah, that's what I thought.
You are all surface.

Yeah.

Hmm.

Fry! Hermes! Where my humans at?

Ah, who cares? It is on.

Hey, hey, hey.

I trust the orgy pit
has been scraped and buttered?

You know it.
And there's mini quiches, too.

It's getting cold and smelly.
My Odor-Eaters are going critical.

Maybe we could plotz in that giant cockle.

Shmeepers, it's the Land Titanic,

the biggest and onlyest land boat
ever constructed.

This was one hell of a bus.

Well, everyone debone a bunk
and get some shut-eye.

Zoidberg, show some respect.

This is a sacred shrine
to the thousands who lost their lives.

Hey, I found a safe.

It's coming loose.

Hand me some more of that cruise director.

The original passenger manifest.

Spreadsheets were so elegant back then.

Just one other item.

It's jewelry. Jewelry! It's jewelry, people!

It's a priceless quantum-force gemerald.

What's that enscribbled on it?

"My dear Mrs. Astor.

"My love for you
is as unsinkable as this land ship

"and as brilliant as this stone.

"Dictated but not read, Mr. Astor."

Aw. That's so valuable.

Yeah, I'll never have love like that.
Leela hates me now.

Did you guys know I have a crush on Leela?

What's the matter, Leela?
You've hardly touched your toilet clams.

Maybe I was too harsh on Fry.
He didn't ruin my life on purpose.

Things will work out, honey. Now, here.

Have some more
of what looks like lemonade.

We can dip left slide right all night

It's time to be wild

Freestyle

It's on and poppin'

Ain't no stoppin' us from rockin'

From tonight to ten o'clock

Bender, I've been to wang dang doodles
all up and down the galaxy,

but this is the dangest wang I ever doodled.

Oh, yeah! Come on, baby, let's do it!
Shake your booty, baby. Come on! Yeah!

This b*at bangs, here's my chance

Come on, girl, let's go, I can't...

Get out! Get out! It's not fun anymore!
I want to be alone!

- Alone with me?
- I said scram, grapey!

- Fry? What are you doing?
- You were right.

I don't know what it's like to be a mutant.
But I want to know.

Wait. I never meant for you to...

Oh, no!

Fry! Fry!

No! No!

Any effect?

Sorry. I tried to scream but I barfed.

I think I'm knowing
what it's like to be a mutant.

So what's with all the screaming?

Hey, guys.

Fry, this is the stupidest, sweetest thing
you've ever done.

And you know, maybe now, together,
we can be an inspiration to other mutants.

I hope so, Leela.

Aw. Come here. Let me give you a kiss.

Hug.

Handshake.

I'll text you.

My fellow mutants,
until recently, I dwelt on the surface,

where a man
can gaze up at the sky in wonder

without a wet clump falling in his mouth.

We can do that, too.

Who's ready to fight for equality?

The devolution revolution has begun!

Beautiful mutants, please welcome Devo!

Hello, Sewer City.

As longtime mutants ourselves,
we support your righteous struggle,

and we'll do anything we can for you!

- Play Whip lt!
- No.

Play the other one.

It's a beautiful world we live in

A sweet romantic place

Beautiful people everywhere

The way they show they care

Makes me want to say

It's a beautiful world

Ooh!

It's a beautiful world

It's a beautiful world

For you

For you

For you

Now that we've got their attention,
it's time to hit them where they sit

by bending the West Side Pipeway
to return all sewage to the surface.

But who could possibly bend
such a huge pipe?

So Ionely. Poor, sad Bender.

Hey, buddy.

What the heck?

Bend it! Bend it! Bend it!

What goes down must back up.

Yucks. I picked the wrong day
to wear my new Crocses.

Prepare to storm the surface
for the Million Mutant March!

Move out, Fry.

We need our most disgusting mutant
leading the charge.

I'll meet you up there.
I need to check out something first.

- Okay. Vyolet, you're up front.
- Hey!

Mayor, this sewer debacle
has gone on long enough.

As your largest campaign contributor,
I demand action!

Very well. $80 worth of action it is.

Voilà .

We simply pump the fruits of our excretion
into Madison Cube Garden.

Well, it seems everything is under...

- Two!
- Four!

- Six eyes!
- The mutant people will arise!

The segregation of the mutant people
ends today.

We demand equal rights,
equal access to the surface,

and the blood of your first-born children.

That's so we have something
to give up in the negotiations.

I've never been so moved,
and I see no reason to begin now.

Hobsie, flush those creatures
back down the hole they crawled out of.

Madam's sewage-seeking m*ssile.

Let my people stay!

Neat.

Mrs. Astor, deep in the sewer,

we discovered the wreck
of the Land Titanic,

on which your husband land-drowned.

Inside was something
that might interest you.

The gemerald ring my husband
was to give me in lieu of children.

So what? I have a chandelier
in my car made of those.

Not the gem. This passenger manifest.

It turns out
there were mutants on that ship

working below deck in the sewage galley.

Ma'am?

I was just a young girl.

Drain angels, they called us.

When the ship started going down,

my mother grabbed me
and made for the nearest life-car.

But the places were all taken
by surface passengers.

As my mother held me tight,

I suddenly felt the gentle tap of a cane
on my face.

I turned to see
the kindly smile of Mr. Astor.

Thanks to your husband's humanity,

I lived to raise my own daughter,
and she, a daughter in turn.

- Mom, why have I never heard this?
- My mother's nuts.

I beg you, Mrs. Astor,

if you truly want to
honor your husband's memory,

treat these people with dignity, as he did.

Oh, he was a dear man, Mr. Astor.

Randall, let's grant
these mutants their freedom.

Okay.

- Are we not men now?
- I'm 40% potato, but close enough.

Thank you, Fry.

I think maybe I can stomach that kiss now.

- What the...
- Good afternoon. I am Mr. Astor.

I did not perish that fateful day,
but rather plummeted into the toxic lake,

where I mutated and lived in solitude

until this ruddy lad here
stepped into my mouth and lodged there.

Mister? Is that really you?

Hooray! A happy ending for the rich people!

Mom, Dad, Grandma, this is where I work.

Oh!

Was there a fire?

- So, Bender, how was the party?
- Only the greatest party ever!

I don't need to have another party
in my whole life.

I am partied out!

Dang. Sorry we missed it.

We could have another one,
if it would make you guys feel better.

- Really? No, that's not necessary.
- Hit it, Bender!

Bend it, bend it

Just a little bit

And take it easy

Show you're likin'it

And, lover, you know that we're gonna hit

The heights 'cause
I'm sure that we're made to fit

Together, just like pieces of a

Jigsaw puzzle

What's the hustle?