01x13 - Fry and the Slurm Factory

[bunniefuu]

Honey unit, I'm home.

Monique!

Calculon!

Oh, how I wish I could believe that.

You may be my evil half brother...

but there's no law against
murdering the other half.

All my circuits...

will be right back
after this word from...

It's highly addictive.

Look. It's Slurms McKenzie.

He's the original party worm.

Ooh.

Whimmy wham-wham wozzle!

Let's party!

Look at that worm go.

Who says there are no more heroes?

Hey, dudes, you could win a chance...

to party with me, Slurms McKenzie...

at the Slurm bottling plant
on planet Wormula.

Just look
for the golden bottle cap...

inside specially marked
cans of Slurm.

I won.

No purchase necessary
unless you wish to enter.

Odds of winning
mathematically insignificant.

I like those odds.

Rats.

Just another tooth.

Ah...

Aw...

I got to find that golden bottle cap.

I've never seen anyone
so addicted to Slurm.

This is nothing. Back
in high school...

I used to drink a hundred cans
of cola a week.

Right up until my third heart att*ck.

Bender, what's wrong?

I'm sick.

You poor baby.
Let me check if you have a fever.

Ow!

According to Bender's
temperature gauge...

which I suggest
you use next time, Leela...

he's running a fever of...

degrees.

Bender, mon, lie yourself down.

You're paying for that.

I'll have a look but I remind you...

I'm an expert on humans, not robots.

I'm not Bender. I'm Fry.

Really? I thought you were the robot.

Nope, human.

All right, all right,
spare me your life story.

Now, what seems to be the trouble?

My tummy hurts and
I've been having...

this burning electrical discharge.

Mmm. Don't worry, you'll be fine.

Oh, boy...

I didn't have the heart
to tell him it's fin fungus.

He'll be floating upside down
by morning. Tsk-tsk-tsk.

You should try
homeopathic medicine, Bender.

Take some zinc.

I'm % zinc.

Then take some echinacea
or St. John's wort.

Or a big, fat placebo.

It's all the same crap.

Hey, what's rattling around in there?

It may well be
the cause of Bender's illness...

but more importantly,

it's a flimsy pretext to try
out my latest invention.

To the laboratory.

I call this the F-ray.

It's like an X-ray,
only it allows you...

to see through anything...
even metal.

Now, the neutrino beam it emits
is a tad dangerous...

so you'll need protective goggles.

Huh?

You may feel a slight
stinging sensation.

All of you.

Aha!

There's the cause of your illness.

Hey, that's my watch.

I was wondering where I put that.

Hey! Now I feel much better.

Thanks, Professor...

and, Amy... Sorry I took your watch.

Well, I've got to go
take this suit...

to the decontaminators.

You two lock up the F-ray,
and for the love of God...

don't let it fall
into the wrong hands.

What shall we point it at first?

I don't know. Try it on me.

Ow! My sperm.

Wow, neat.

Mind if I try that again?

Huh! Didn't hurt that time.

Oh, mama.

Hold still, sexy lady.

What's wrong?

That's no lady.

Damn, chico.

One more upgrade and I'll be
more lady than you can handle.

Why you so stupid, stupid?

Hey, bite my shiny metal ass.

You couldn't afford it, honey.

Man, all this
prolonged exposure to radiation...

is making me thirsty.

Ah! If only there
was some way of knowing...

which can had the winning
bottle cap inside.

W-Wha-What? I didn't hear you.

I was too busy using this F-ray
to look inside of things.

Wait a second.

I'm getting an idea.

No. False alarm.

No, yeah, no, yeah, no. Wait.

No, yeah, yeah. No. No. Yes!

Uh-oh. Sorry.

Ah, this thing stinks.

We checked , cans of Slurm...

and all we won was this junk.

I never want to see...

another can of Slurm again.
Man, am I thirsty.

Fry, are you all right?

You did it, Fry!

You found the winning bottle cap.

We won!

Hey.

Ooh. Wow.

Welcome to the planet Wormulon.

I'm Glermo your gollyrific guide...

to the splentacular Slurm factory.

Uh-huh. Can we have
our free Slurm now?

You'll have all the Slurm
you can drink later on...

when you're partying with my
good friend Slurms McKenzie!

All right!
Whimmy wham-wham wozzle.

Lay some skin on me, dudes.

Wow. The original party worm.

Are you ready to get down,
get funky with us?

He'd better be. That's what
we pay him for, right, Slurms?

Right!

In fact, Slurms has to party
all night, every night...

or he's fired.

Rock on.

But before the party...

you're all in for a funderful treat.

A VI P tour of the Slurm factory.

Enjoy the tour, dudes.

I'm going to go lie down.

Welcome, my friends...

to the wondrous world of whimsy
that we like to call...

Slurm Centralized
Industrial Fabrication Unit.

Oh, my.

Look, flowers, and a boat.

Who are those horrible
orange creatures over there?

Why, those are the grunka-lunkas.

They work here in
the Slurm factory.

Tell them I hate them.

As we sail down
the river of Slurm...

you'll see our mixologists at work.

They take
of the finest ingredients...

add a touch of childlike delight...

and mix it all
with glacial spring water...

from our glacial
spring water generator.

Then, last of all,
we add the secret ingredient...

that makes Slurm
so deliciously addictive.

So what's the
secret ingredient?

It's whatever
your imagination wants it to be.

Oh. But what is it, really?

That's not for you to know.

Now, over here, the grunka-lunkas...

are inducing wumpus berries
to release their flavor...

using sensual massage.

Pst. Those berries. Those are
the secret ingredient, right?

No.

- You positive?
- Yes.

I'm just asking 'cause they look
kind of secret.

Enough!

There will be no further questions.

- Why?
- Hey, look.

The disgusting little men
are starting to sing.

♪ Grunka lunka dunkity doo ♪

♪ We've got a friendly
warning for you ♪

♪ Grunka lunka dunkity dasis ♪

♪ The secret of Slurm's
on a need-to-know basis ♪

♪ Asking questions in school ♪

♪ Is a great way to learn ♪

♪ If you try that stuff here
you might get your legs broke ♪

♪ We once found a dead guy
face-down in the Slurm ♪

♪ It could easily happen
again to you folks ♪

♪ So keep your head down
and keep your mouth shut ♪

♪ Grunka lunka lunka dunkity dutt! ♪

Hey! I don't pay you to sing.

You just used up
today's bathroom break.

Hardass.

I heard that.

Now, on your right...

you'll see the Slurm master...

checking the Slurm
for color and bouquet.

So thirsty...

then he tastes it.

He tastes it and tastes it,
then tastes it some more.

Uh, could I have some Slurm, please?

No food or drink allowed on the tour.

You'll have to wait till you're
partying with Slurms McKenzie.

- When will that be?
- Soon enough.

That's not soon enough.

Hey, what's behind that door?

- Nothing.
- Is it the secret ingredient?

♪ Grunka lunka dunkity dingredient ♪

♪ You should not ask
about the secret ingredient. ♪

Okay, okay, we get the point.

I was just curious...

because of the armed guards.

♪ Grunka lunka dunkity
darmed-guards... ♪

Shut the hell up!

So you're telling me
I could fire my whole staff...

and hire grunka-lunkas
at half the cost?

That's right.

They think they have
a good union, but they don't.

They're basically slaves.

What are you doing?

I'm dying of thirst.

Grab my feet and dunk
my head in so I can drink.

No. That's moronic.

Fine. I'll let go
and swim around in the Slurm...

and drink as much as I want.

Help! I can't swim!

Oh...

Bender, why did you jump in?

Everybody was doing it.

I just wanted to be popular.

Ow!

Where are we?

And why is the Slurm
pouring into this sewer?

This isn't Slurm at all.

Something's rotten
on the planet Wormulan.

Look at this.

This all must have something to do...

with the secret ingredient.

My God!

What if the secret
ingredient is people?

No. There's already a soda like that.
Soylent Cola.

Oh. How is it?

It varies from person to person.

Ooh! Hmm.

Do you have any that aren't
so tight around the thorax?

Yes. Over in...

say, weren't there
more people in your group...

at the start of the tour?

Hey, yeah. Fry, Leela
and Bender are missing.

If you'll excuse me.

Quick!

Whoo!

Look. Slurm!

Finally.

Oh, yeah.

I'm never going minutes
without a Slurm again.

It's the end of the line.

This must be where they put in
the secret ingredient.

Whatever it is, it's
even better fresh.

Mmm. Still warm.

- Ohh!
- Yack!

Aw! Lordy!

Fry!

Whew!

Fry!

That's the secret
ingredient of Slurm?

That's the only ingredient of Slurm.

Eww-hoo-hoo!

Whoa!

Aw!

I'll save us!

Yah!

Oh, that feels good.

Yep.

Whew! Thanks, Bender.

The exit. We made it!

Uh, Your Majesty...

I brought the prisoners.

Well, my curious friends,
you learned the secret of Slurm.

That concludes
the portion of the tour...

where you stay alive.

You wish, you slimy worm.

Hi-yah!

Oh!

Good work, Glermo.

You have pleased your queen.

- Thank you, Your Majesty.
- Thanks, ma'am.

How can you trick people
into drinking something

that comes out of your behind?

It's disgusting.

Is it? Honey comes
from a bee's behind.

Milk comes from a cow's behind.

And have you ever used toothpaste?

Whose behind does that come from?

You don't want to know.

Look, we just came to party
with Slurms McKenzie.

By the way, when is that scheduled?

- Never!
- Oh!

To the t*rture cave!

You, my metal friend,
will have the honor...

of becoming Slurm cans.

Ah, this trip
is turning into a big letdown.

As for you, you will be submerged...

in royal Slurm, which,
in a matter of minutes...

will transform you into
a Slurm queen like myself.

But, Your Highness, she's a commoner.

Her Slurm will taste foul.

Yes! Which is why
we'll market it as "new Slurm."

Then, when everyone hates it,
we'll bring back Slurm classic...

and make billions.

Oh... oh.

What about me?

You are free to go.

Yes!

If you can resist this
concentrated super Slurm.

Whoa!

It's so delicious...

you'll eat until you explode.

Oh, which reminds me
put a top over that sofa, would you?

Bon appetit.

Mmm...

farewell.

Oh. And congratulations again
on winning the contest.

Fry, untie us. Quick.

Here I come.

Let me just...
one more taste.

Mmm.

You pig.

Stop stuffing your craw and save us.

I can't see what's happening.

Are we boned?

Yeah, we're boned.

I can't stop eating
this delicious ooze...

but I'm not going to let you die.

Hurry.

What's happening?

Oh.

Whew!

Whoa-ho-ho! Just in time.

No!

I could fit if I didn't have
these damn arms.

We're close to the exit.
I can smell those filthy orange guys.

Stop right there!

Slurms McKenzie!

Shh! I want you to take me with you.

Say what?

I'm partied out.

All I want is to stay home
and rent videos...

and watch them with a few friends.

Is that so much to ask?

Forget it, pal.

It says on this bottle cap
you have to party with us.

All right, when we get to earth.

But please, don't invite
too many people.

I want to keep it small.

No can do, Slurms.

This way!

Oh! Oh!

She's gaining on us.

Go on without me. I'll hold her off.

But she'll crush you like a worm...

crushing a smaller worm.

It's all right.

I'm so tired of partying,
so very tired.

I'll save you the only way
I know how. By partying!

Babes?

Yes, Mr. McKenzie?

You've served me well...

these years, but this time,
I've got to party alone.

But...

there'll be other parties for you.

Now go. Go.

♪ Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! ♪

♪ Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! ♪

Party on, Slurms.

Party on, contest winners.

Party on.

No! We're ruined!

They know our disgusting secret!

Oh, no!

Commissioner, my crew
has made a horrific discovery.

It seems that Slurm is produced
in a colossal worm heinie.

Hmm. "Heinie," you say?

Why, with your testimony...

we'll finally be able
to outlaw this insidious Slurm.

Outlaw Slurm?!

Uh, don't pay any
attention to him, sir.

Grandpa's making up
crazy stories again.

I'm not your grandpa.

You're my uncle. From the year !

Okay, grandpa, we'll
take care of the bad worms.

Don't you worry.

Ah, I just wish Slurms McKenzie...

were here to enjoy this with me.

Yeah, that Slurms
sure loved to party.

What do you say we all party
one last time for him?

For Slurms.

For Slurms.

Whammy wozzle.

Hey, that's not that bad.

Mmm!