05x09 - One, Maybe Two, Ways Out

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Psych". Aired: July 7, 2006 – March 26, 2014.*

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Follows Shawn who works for the police department which allows him to convince people that he solves cases with psychic abilities.
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05x09 - One, Maybe Two, Ways Out

Post by bunniefuu »

You know, Gus...
I'm gonna wanna open

an old-fashioned ice cream
shoppe at some point.

This is because
of Juliet, isn't it?

Every time you launch
into this dream

about opening
an ice cream store...

- Shoppe.
- Shoppe.

It's because there's
some issue with Juliet.

Psychiatrists call it
diversion coding.

This is because
she's dating Declan now.

I wouldn't call it dating.

- What would you call it?
- Dating.

I just don't wanna say it.
Come on, Gus.

The guy lies his ass off
about everything in his life,

then he just apologizes

and that gets him
right off the hook.

Shawn, she
really likes this guy.

Why are you
trying to poke a hole

into something
that's working for her?

You know, you're right.

You're absolutely right.

If she wants
to be in a relationship

with a filthy rich guy
who adores her...

So be it.

But not this guy.
No, sir.

My spirit has
to remain unchained, Gus.

Like my melodies.
Wow.

Be available
for any opportunity.

- Opportunity?
- Yes, Gus, opportunity.

With a woman like that.

She's making eyes with me.

She has eyes, yes.

But they're looking at me.
Gus, don't be absurd.

She's looking directly at me.

She's piercing
my mediumly defined chest

with her stark bedroom peepers.

That lady is trying to
undress me with her eyes, Shawn.

Maybe she's dressing you.
You ever think of that?

Cover up your ankles?
Please.

I have the ankles
of a stallion.

And that woman wants them.

That woman has a g*n.

She's all yours.
I'm outta here.

Drop your cone!

- I'm not dropping my cone.
- When are you gonna eat that?

I don't wanna die
on an empty stomach, Barry.

- Who is Barry?
- I don't know.

What do we do when
we get to the end of the pier?

Why don't you ask Barry?

Don't k*ll us.
Please.

I'm not here to k*ll you.

In fact, I need your help.

- Who are you?
- My name is Nadia.

I work with Ewan O'Hara.

You know Juliet's brother?

We were operatives together.

I've been set up
and I'm on the run.

Ewan told me about you.

He was impressed
with your skills.

You're not kidding?
You're really a spy?

This... this is for real?

Yeah, this is for real.

So you weren't undressing
him with your eyes earlier?

See, I told you.

Listen,
I have very little time.

I need to be erased.
To disappear.

Uh...

How do you expect us
to help you do that?

My mentor
and most trusted ally...

Code name: Strabinsky...

was the only one who
successfully erased himself.

He has the tools.

O'Hara said
if someone doesn't exist,

you'd be
the person to find him.

Will you help me?

Well, I can
only speak for myself,

but a few seconds ago,
I thought we were

gonna have to
jump off this pier, so.

Yeah.
We can help you.

Okay.

Well, we don't have
a lot of time.

They're following me.

They could be here any minute.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, there's
no reason to be so dramatic.

- I mean, come on.
- We get it, you're a spy.

And things are
heightened for you people.

But come on, we're a little more
laid-back in Santa Barbara.

This is a beach community.

Ah.

Ah!

I know you know

that I'm not telling
the truth

I know you know

they just don't have
any proof

embrace the deception

learn how to bend

your worst inhibitions

tend to psych you out
in the end

I know you know

How are those
stallion ankles now, buddy?

Where is she, Shawn?

Get over here.

Get out of the line of sight.

Come on.

Where the hell did she go?

Underneath the pier, sir.

How the hell did we lose her?

Come around the other side.

Okay, great.

What's your genius plan
to get us out of here now?

Listen, you two...

From now on, you're
gonna do exactly what I say.

Who are those guys she's with?

I have no idea.

Put this thing down.

We gotta get to her
from the ground.

- Lassie, what's up?
- Spencer.

I just got a call about
a white guy and a black guy

running down the boardwalk,
wreaking havoc,

and I immediately thought
of you guys.

Are you involved?

Don't know anything
about said havoc.

What about the report
of a black ops helicopter

circling the bay,
f*ring off sh*ts?

Helicopter in
Santa Barbara, f*ring sh*ts?

Lassie, please.
Go to the men's bathroom.

Behind the condom machine
is a vial of sanity serum.

cr*ck it, digest,
call me in half an hour.

But don't...

This is a women's bathroom.

I don't think
we should be in here.

Get down, away from the window.

Dude...

Purple octopus,
12:00.

Shawn, you need to focus.

Okay, this is the deal.

I was in Kiev several years ago
with Strabinsky.

- It was an N.Q.K. mission.
- N.Q.K.?

No questions k*ll mission.

Any more questions?

He told me the day would come

that we would need
to cut ties and go dark.

Next morning,
he had erased himself

and dropped off the grid.

I found this in my backpack.

He left it there.

I believe it was a clue
for me to find him

if I ever needed his help.
Nadia, this is blank.

- Touch it.
- What is it, braille?

I don't think it's braille.

Hello? Ugh.

Why's it locked during the day?

These impressions
are in a formation, Shawn.

I think this has something
to do with celestial patterns.

Stars.
I got something.

Something
helpful and impressive.

I see Strabinsky in the sky.

Possibly with diamonds.

Please make some sense soon.

Do you still have that
giant astronomy coloring book

back in the psych office?

It's not a coloring book.

Uh-oh.

He's gonna be so mad at me.

Remember, we have t-minus six minutes

before a team of black ops
close in and t*rture to k*ll.

t*rture to k*ll?

Is that pretty cut and dry,

or is there
some wiggle room there?

Uh, Nadia, I have floor pads

as to avoid the scratching
of hardwood floors.

You're kidding, right?

Yes, I am.

Nadia, that's gonna
cost us $438 plus tax...

Never mind.

Boom!

Phoenix constellation.

Damn it, that means
Strabinsky's in Alabama.

- You mean Arizona?
- No.

He always talked
about retiring here.

This much I know for sure.

Another reason why
O'Hara thought you could help.

Wait a second.
Wait a second.

This has nothing
to do with constellations.

Get down.

It's just a clue
to get us to the location.

F-e-n-i-x,
the Fenix Valley path.

It's in the Los Padres forest,
just outside of Santa Barbara.

Gus, you can't just
make up stuff

that doesn't exist.
It does exist, Shawn.

It's just
not in any guidebooks.

It's named after
a hiker who got lost there.

Oh.
Well, that's it, then.

That's where
we'll find Strabinsky.

That's what I just said.

But the Los Padres forest
is too big.

You can't just walk through
there and find Strabinsky.

We have to fly over.

Do you know anybody
who owns a chopper?

99.6% of the time,

the answer
to that question is nobody.

But there's one guy.

I should be concerned, right?

Concerned and excited.

Really bad timing.

Declan, we're being tracked.

Which means
in about seven-ish minutes,

dudes in capes
are gonna storm your dope pad

and start sniping us.
They will not be

wearing capes,
but they will be sniping us.

Declan, this is Nadia,
she is a spy.

The case we're
working on is a matter of

national, international,
and gubernational security.

Okay, okay,
but you can't stay long.

Da, da, da... No need to worry
about being tracked, Nadia.

Why's that?

I own the air rights
for the whole block.

I can scramble
the strongest of signals.

Now unfortunately, whatever
you guys are involved in,

I don't think I can
assist you on this one.

- Listen, just hear us out.
- No, no, no.

- We need you to sponsor us.
- Sorry, guys.

But ever since
I admitted to Juliet

that I'm not
a real criminal profiler,

I promised I wouldn't
assist on any police cases

whatsoever.
Who's Juliet?

- That's my girlfriend.
- Wow.

Just dropping the g-b*mb
with reckless abandon, huh?

You know what?

You are missing
a huge opportunity here.

An opportunity to jump
right into a Bourne film.

This is not a movie.

This is reality, and
it's happening right now.

Look, guys, between you and me,

I'd k*ll to get myself
kneecap deep in this thing.

But I'm trying to play
the honesty card,

so no lies, period.
Dec, I'm sorry,

but I think I just
used the last of your shampoo.

Shawn. Gus.
Sorry, bunny,

they just stopped by.
But they're leaving now.

I see what happened here.

Juliet was driving in the area,

she spilled
something on herself,

she dropped by and asked
if she could use the facilities.

No, Shawn.
I slept here.

And then I woke up here.

And then I took a shower.
Yes.

The old crashing in
the guest room routine.

I am sorry, what is your name?

Nadia.
Her name is Nadia.

And we have chemistry.

Okay, Shawn, Gus,
woman in leather...

Enjoy the rest of your weekend.

Can we please
get down to business?

Yes, of course.

Declan, can we
borrow your chopper or what?

Yeah, well, that depends.

I need it back tonight.
Tonight?

What do you mean,
like, this coming night?

Yeah, I'm driving Juliet
to Napa for dinner,

and surprising her
with a vacation plan...

- The Amalfi coast.
- Amalfi coast? Ooh, bro.

I'd pull back.

Step on the brakes
if I was you, man.

If I know one thing
about Jules,

is that she likes
to rough it on her vacays.

Hmm, yeah,
I wouldn't have guessed that.

Really?

It's true, she's a hunter,
gatherer, woodswoman.

Tents, beans, and bugs,
that's how she does it.

We can have the chopper back
in two, three hours, tops.

Well, I guess that should work.

I mean, technically,
I'm just loaning you a chopper

to fly from
point "A" to point "B."

And loaning us your pilot too.

Oh, I am the pilot.

Damn, this is good fun.

It's so much more satisfying
than the remote control version.

We have
to find Strabinsky soon.

Just a matter of time
before they figure out

we're airborne and
send an F-14 to sh**t us down.

What?
We're gonna get sh*t down?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

We're in the right spot.

This is it.
Bring this birdie down, Declan.

You got it, you got it.

But hold on tight.
Landing's dicey at best for me.

Haven't you been
flying your whole life?

Uh, no, that's a negative.

No, I just got my pilot's
license three days ago.

What?

Knock, knock.

- Who's there?
- Is it a knock-knock joke?

Must be some kind of spy code.

Nadia.

I guess not.

- Nadia.
- Strabinsky.

It's been a while.
Last time I saw you,

you were four clicks
outside of Mozambique.

Mm, Mozambique.
Tortured by pygmies.

Well, get in here.

Come on inside.

Well...

Welcome to my hidden abode.

Would you like a quick tour?

I joke.

It's a joke.

Get it?

Sorry about the heat in here,

but the super
hydra drives are like ovens.

Suck up power
like nobody's business.

Hey, can I ask
you all a quick favor

before we
get this party started?

You want us
to take our shoes off?

No, I want you
to tell me why you're here

in the next ten seconds,
or else I'm gonna k*ll you all.

Wait, wait,
calm down, Strabinsky.

I found you using the card
you left in my backpack.

It's time for me to cut ties.

Nadia, you are being tracked.

You put me in jeopardy.

You know how long it
took me to find this place?

To set it up?

That door you came through?
That's custom.

Translation:
It's not from home depot.

- I'm sorry, but...
- But nothing.

It took me a week
to put in that door.

And then you
bring in two civvies here,

and there's a jack snapper
out there in a chopper.

I'm a psychic detective,
so that technically means

I'm no longer
a civvy, if you will.

I will snuff you out
without even touching you.

Harsh.
Intimidating.

Intriguing how you would
actually snuff without touching.

But also fair.

You're right,
I am being tracked.

So will you erase me or not?

Nadia, you have
been a busy, busy bee.

I'm just about done here
deleting all your mission fil...

Wait, wait, wait.

Don't delete
operation Mitlu-Bolivia.

Open that one.

Can't open that file,
that's got special security.

Seriously, open it.

Okay, maybe I was unclear,
or I spoke super-duper fast,

or switched languages,
or something.

But I can't open this file.

I know you can open the file.

Open it!

This feels like
an old school spy tiff

that deserves some privacy.
You know that's right.

Don't move a muscle.

What is operation Mitlu?

Open it!

Oh, yeah, wait a second.
Bolivia.

I remember hearing something

over the agency wire
about that.

The embassy was broken into.

A couple of diplomats
were k*lled

and someone made off
with a suitcase of GCCs.

- What are GCCs?
- Global currency certificates.

You can cash them in for
any currency around the world.

It's like literally
having a money printing press.

So that's what this
is about, huh, Nadia?

You used my incredible gifts
to get yourself erased

so that you could go
retire somewhere exotic

in the world
with a bunch of GCCs?

You have one minute
to open the file, Strabinsky.

Go ahead, sh**t me.
I can't open this file.

You of all people should know.

The only way
to open a file this secure

is on a level three computer
in a government building.

Who did we just help erase?

A very capable k*ller.

Shawn, it's my day off.

I had a cold beer in my hand,
I'm on my boat,

and literally had
my fishing line in the water

when I got this call.
Dad, does chief Vick know

that you're sitting in her chair
while she's on holiday?

- I am in no mood.
- I'm just saying

your naked thighs
are touching the fabric there.

Don't you think she'd
be a little weirded out?

Sorry, guys.
No choice.

I made a promise to Juliet

so I had to come clean,
and I told them everything.

- Everything?
- Everything.

Yes, Shawn,
I know he was with you.

And you guys
got in over your heads

in an international case you had
no business being a part of.

But on my part,
mostly as a pilot.

- You're a pilot?
- Oh, did I leave that part out?

It's only been three days.

Now the guy decides
to have a crisis of conscience.

Is there anything
else you'd like to confess?

Yes. This morning,
when you found that

fresh-sliced grapefruit
on your bedside table,

and you asked me
who put it there,

and I said,
"the grapefruit fairy,"

I was lying.

It was me.
Oh, my God, that's so cute.

- Pretty cute.
- All right, everyone, Shawn.

Where is this Nadia woman?

I mean...

Lassie, grab them!

Grab those... grab those men.

These are the guys
that were in the helicopter.

They're the ones
that tried to k*ll us

on the pier this morning.
I knew you were on that pier.

Shawn, calm down.
These are the good guys.

Agent Camden Driggs,
special division.

Department of clandestine
human source intelligence.

This is Tom.

You get that whole swanky intro

and all he gets is,
"this is Tom?"

Senior communications analyst

in charge of operative
in-call status objectives.

Subdivision supervisor,
Tom Fong.

I get it.
I get "this is Tom."

- You guys are CIA?
- When was the last time

you were in Washington, hmm...
your eighth grade field trip?

Everyone in a suit isn't CIA.

We're special m*llitary ops.
Mr. Spencer,

you are aware
that you helped aid and abet

one of the world's most
dangerous government operatives?

Well, when you say it like that

it makes it sound
way worse than it is.

And how would
you prefer I say it?

Inflection is everything.
Try it again.

Maybe a little singsongy.
Shawn.

You will cooperate
with these men.

I wanna know everything
that Nadia said to you.

I want you to retrace every step
you took since she made contact.

And we know about Strabinsky.

Where is he?
Oh, come on, you guys.

That man just
wants to live in peace.

He gave 12 years
of his life to you all.

I'll give you my flight logs.

God, that felt good.

Being open and honest.

Good job, Spencer.

You led Nadia
right to Strabinsky

and now she took him out.

She was cleaning up her tracks,

eliminating witnesses.
Well, if that's the case,

then why are Gus and I
still alive?

Because you two
aren't worth eliminating.

Oh, we're worth eliminating.

Agent Fong,
call in for air support.

I want the rest of you
to fan out on the mountainside.

We've got hours, not days.
Correct me if I'm wrong,

but industry standard
is 18 hours.

Otherwise we can
kiss her ass good-bye.

That's right, Detective.

Well, I can find
that spy in 19 hours.

This is not a negotiation,
and you went up.

Fine, I can find
that spy in 13 hours.

- Shawn.
- You know, if you shut up

and let me do my job, I'll
find that spy in eight hours.

Okay.

Find that spy.

You know what, get out of here.

Both of you.

Go sit in the chopper, I'm
tired of looking at your face.

Hey, Tom Fong.
You coming with?

Listen, Shawn.

If this woman has
any connection to my brother...

- Come on, Jules.
- No, Shawn.

I know that
you were taken by him

and you guys shared
some sort of bond or something.

But let's not forget,
he eluded authorities

and exists in
more than a gray world.

- How much more?
- These people can't be trusted.

Watch yourself, Shawn.

This is not a case
you should fool with.

- It's bigger than us.
- Us?

The department.

Oh, I'm sorry, aren't you two

supposed to be
waiting in the chopper?

Lassie,
what are you doing here?

You know every time those
Washington guys come to town,

you turn into a 14th wheel.
Look at Tom Fong.

- Got it?
- Patch me through...

He's wearing two watches.
How you gonna hang with that?

Spencer, you know
nothing of these people.

He does that
so he can tell the time

at two places
in the world simultaneously.

Gus likes to know the time
in Santa Barbara and Pasadena.

Only needs one watch.

You, Lassiter.

You're running point on this.
What?

I've been doing this
long enough to know

that the guy with no life
will get the job done.

Not to mention,
you know the landscape.

Do I ever.
O'Hara.

I can't believe Driggs b*at me

in the first round
of "find that spy."

Shawn, this isn't funny.

Nadia is gonna
find us and k*ll us.

Gus, don't be
a fine young cannibals cover

of Suspicious Minds.

We're gonna find her.

But we do need a plan.
Oh, I have a plan.

I'm gonna pack me
a medium-sized suitcase

and move to Mexico.

You, of all people, should know

that a file this secure
can only be opened

on a level three computer
in a government building.

I got it.

I know where she is.

Does anyone know where the
closest government building is

with a level three computer?

Don't forget it next time.

Yes!

Yes, I am sensing she is here.

She's here in this building.

Let's split up and cover
all high security floors.

Wait, can we just walk
into a government building

like this without clearance?

You can if you're with me.

We're looking for somebody.

Well, can I
take a look at that?

Does it have
a presidential seal on it?

- Let's move, people!
- Go, go, go!

Go, go!
Somehow I think she'll

be found somewhere
a little less obvious.

Computer problems?

I hate it when that happens.

Where's an easy button
when you need one?

Oh, Shawn,
you do have a skill set.

Do you have any other talents?

You used us, you lied to us.

- And you k*lled Strabinsky.
- Oh, come on.

I didn't k*ll Strabinsky.
Maybe no one did.

Plus, if I
had these certificates,

why am I still here?
Why?

Okay, fine.
So if you really were set up,

let us help you.

You have no idea
what you're involved in.

They made me
take the certificates.

Who?
Who was it?

If I knew who it was,
I wouldn't be here.

He was in disguise.
But it's someone on the inside.

I don't know who,
and I don't have time

to give you
spy 101 lessons right now.

Oh, really? Because Gus

recently saw
half of Spies Like Us.

- Doctor.
- Doctor.

- Doctor.
- Doctor.

And you don't have a choice.

Uh, she has choices,
and she just made one.

I'm about to make one too.

I can either dial up Driggs,

or you can tell us
what happened in Bolivia

during operation Mitlu.

By the way, who gets
to name those operations?

'Cause that seems fun.
Hand me the phone

before I have
to resort to hurting you.

Yeah, right.
Without touching me, hmm?

No.

I am going to touch you.

Fan out, people.

What the hell is that?

Okay, people, listen up.

No one is to
leave this building.

I'll be
questioning each of you.

Separately.
One at a time.

This is gonna take a while
so I hope you packed a snack.

I'll handle it from here.

I want this unit sent
to headquarters to be washed.

She was definitely
looking for something,

there's just
no way of knowing what.

You know, I think
I can help you with this.

I'm probably gonna need
some sort of clearance level.

It doesn't
have to be the highest,

just enough to
give me one of those badges

that beeps when you scan it.

Detective, I'm
not at liberty to disclose

any information regarding
classified documents.

Perhaps if you
wanna go back in time,

make a couple of different
life decisions,

join the academy, train
with some real investigators,

then we can talk.
But until then...

Nadia said she was set up
by someone on the inside.

You get the feeling that Driggs
is hiding more than he has to?

No, no, no, Shawn.
Don't do this.

Nadia is crazy and dangerous.

Driggs may be
an unpleasant man,

but that doesn't
make him the bad guy.

I don't trust him.

What are you doing?

Whatever's on this file
has the secret

to what happened in Bolivia

and will prove
that Driggs is behind it.

That thing is half-melted, Shawn.

There's no way we can retrieve
any information off of it.

Yeah, but Strabinsky can.

Oh, come on,
I didn't k*ll Strabinsky.

Maybe no one did.

Sorry about the heat in here,

but the super hydra drives
are like ovens.

Suck up power
like nobody's business.

Oh, my gosh.

Yeah, the Santa Barbara
power grid would show hot spots

for areas that are using
crazy amounts of electricity.

Like hospitals or power plants.

And giant mansions like mine.

I hear that.
See, that's what we need, Shawn.

Our very own computer guy
for the office, nice.

Oh, that's not a computer guy,
he's my pastry chef.

That's my snack.
Thank you, Chuy.

- Creme brulee, guys?
- Yes.

Oh.

What's that one?
The white one.

Right there.

White means hot.

Huh, a small
apartment building.

Yeah, unless this person has
85 microwaves in his kitchen,

that's gotta be Strabinsky.

Declan, I must say
you've once again

delivered in the clutch.

I also have to ask you
one more teeny, weeny favor.

I believe
I'm fresh out of favors.

Please, please, wait 30 minutes

before you call Juliet
and tell her we were here.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

- Shawn.
- And Gus.

Man.
Are you kidding me?

Again?
How did you guys find me?


You know what, normally,
I'd be hot under the collar.

But I have to admit,

I'm a sucker for
a couple of familiar faces.

Go on, get in here.
Come on.

Thanks, man.

Oh, look, it's very earthy.
Huh.

It's creamy.

Hey, I hate to ask
this of guests, you know.

But could you guys
do me a huge favor?

I think so, probably.

Could you take your shoes off?

It's a new place.
Oh.

Berber carpets.

They say it's stain-resistant,
but I don't trust them.

I don't trust them at all.

And while you're at it,
in the next ten seconds,

why don't you
tell me why you're here

or else I'm gonna
set you both on fire

without even striking a match.

Whoa, Strabs.
Easy, buddy.

Hey...I just
moved in here, come on.

I mean, they've got a laundry.
They've got an awesome pool.

Look at that.

Huh?

Well, it's not awesome.
But it's circular.

You can't even swim laps in it,
but it's a pool.

You guys have any idea
how hard it is

to find
a body decoy that works?

This one's too fat,
this one's too skinny.

This guy's just right,
but he's an eskimo.

Strabinsky, if you
help us this one last time,

you have my word that we
will not find you a third time.

Unless we need
your expertise a third time.

Or we wanna
go swimming in circles.

What do you want?

Nadia was trying to download
something on this thing.

Ah, it looks like
a still photo from an embassy.

It's a surveillance picture.

At the embassy in Bolivia.

That must be the suitcase
with the certificates.

So she did take it.

How did I fall for this again?

Please tell me you have a plan.

I can see her
running from a building.

It's a government building.

There is a red,
yellow, and green flag.

The flag is on fire, though.

Something went...

There was an expl*si*n.
That's right.

That's the Bolivian embassy.
How do you know this?

- She has a suitcase.
- What's in the suitcase?

Give me a second,
let me try to X-ray through it.

I'm sensing, I'm getting,
I'm seeing...

Certificates of some kind.

Crate and barrel.
No.

Bed, bath, and beyond?
That seems unlikely.

Global current affairs...
Something.

GCCs,
global currency certificates.

Where do you see them?
I see them in my mind, Tom.

I'm a psychic, you see.

A psychic spy.
Maybe the only one.

Probably the only one.

Definitely
the only non-Russian one.

Unless you count
Men Who Stare at Goats.

You're gonna take a phone call
in the middle of this?

Life doesn't stop
for the psychic world.

How do you think
I get any errands done,

or knock kinky boots
at nighttime?

Just get it going, would you?

Stop milking it.

I know what
you're up to, Shawn.

Will... will you all
excuse me for a moment?

Could somebody tell me
what the hell's going on?

What do you want?

You're poking around
where you don't belong.

You have all your facts wrong.
Okay, listen.

I saw the picture
of you in Bolivia.

You lied to me again.

You're making me question
my own judgment here.

An hour ago,
I accused Gus of trying

to rope me
into a pyramid scheme.

A little cry?
You need a shoulder to cry on,

go buy a goldfish.

You have something that's mine.

I want it back.

Okay, look,
look, look, look, look.

I will give
you the picture, okay?

You have to agree
to meet me now.

Can I reach you on this phone?

Maybe another ten seconds?
I find you.

No, hold...
Look, Gus and I are busy.

I'm not sure
where we'll be later.

Maybe, uh... maybe
we should find you.

Not gonna happen.

I'm gonna give you a location
where you can meet me.

Don't change your clothes.
Why?

Do you like this outfit?
No.

So I can spot you in a crowd.

Who were you just talking to?

Nadia. She was
in the police station.

- Are you kidding me?
- So risky, so sexy!

She's really
starting to like me.

- She wants to k*ll you, Shawn.
- Oh, really?

Then why did she
just make a date with me

for tonight?
A date to k*ll you.

You need to go
back up in the room

and tell the feds
everything she just said.

No, Gus, this is
our chance to Bourne it up.

I'm Matt Damon,

you're adewale
akinnuoye-ag...Bajnan.

That's not
how you say his name.

- That's who you are, though.
- Oh, no, I'm not.

I'm not gonna be that.
It's too late to recast.

The part is yours.
Let's go take down a spy.

Shawn.

- Shawn.
- Nadia.

My code name is Dabney Wilhelm.

Please call me that.

I will not.

Why?

Because I know
your name is Shawn Spencer.

I know you.
Code names are for anonymity.

What it this?
It's a newspaper.

Yes, but why do you have it?

It's a spy thing.

It looks like I'm sitting here
reading ads about puppies,

but really...
I'm scoping the perimeter.

It's totally idiotic.

It's nighttime.
It's idiotic.

Like this silly coat
you're wearing.

You are so harsh.

Gus, lose the paper.

What the hell's
he doing in there?

Unfortunately,
nothing out of the ordinary.

Seriously, how long are
we gonna let this go on for?

Just relax, I wanna
see if she'll hang herself.

We might get a confession.

Sir, we don't need
a confession.

We've got enough
on her going AWOL.

With the break-in,
we can nail her right now.

All right, let's cut
to the chase, shall we?

I want you to trust me, Shawn.

Because we have a connection.

What is it about Spencer
that people see that I don't?

She's conning him.

Let's cut to the real chase.

This is about you and me.

From the moment
we leapt from that pier,

we had something.

Tell me you believe
that I'm innocent,

and maybe we could spend
some time off the grid.

A guy with your abilities
and a girl like me,

we could do some damage.

Yeah.

Come on, you don't
have to be shy with me.

Stop it, stop it.

You've been playing
with me this whole time.

I don't believe
anything you say.

Prepare to mobilize.
We're going in.

Repeat, we're about to move in.

So what if I did this?

I can't.
I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, Nadia.
I can't.

It's just, I'd like
to be the Swiss to your ham

in one of those croissants
at Au Bon Pain,

but that just
wouldn't be fair to you.

Why is that?

Because I trust
the croissant more than you.

Fine.
Why did you even come here?

To hear me say that
I k*lled those two Bolivians

that stole the certificates?

That I used my skills
to steal enough money

to live out my days
at the Amalfi coast?

What is it with everyone
and the Amalfi coast?

Mobilize all tactile units.

Get in there and
take the subject down now.

- Stay with the van.
- What?

Ah!

Good job, men.

Agent Fong,
take her through processing.

I'm sorry, Nadia.

I love my country too much.

My country is America.

I told you that newspaper
thing was a dumb idea.

Are you at all serious?

We just captured
a dangerous international spy.

You're hung up
on the newspaper bit?

No, I'm hung up on
the fact that

you've been obsessed with
this woman this whole time,

she makes
the ultimate move on you,

and you shut her down...
What's wrong with you?

That makes no sense.
Are you crazy?

I know,
it doesn't make any sense.

Maybe I am crazy.

All I can tell you is
that just now, in that moment,

all I could
think about was Jules.

I just can't wrap myself

around the fact
that she's dating Declan.

It's actually...
It's actually k*lling me.

- Shawn, that is not fair.
- I know.

I know it's not fair.
And you're right.

If she likes this guy,
who am I to stand in the way?

Exactly.

You think I don't
want her to be happy?

I want her to be happy.

But...

Serious Shawn moment here.

I wanna be happy too.

And for some reason,
I can't imagine

that happening without Juliet.

How crazy is that?

On a scale of one to ten?

Eh.

What?
I was gonna say four.

Now I know you all
were wondering...

Was it dangerous out there?

It was a little touch and go.

- Mostly go.
- With plenty of touch.

- Mm-hmm.
- And to quote

an unlikely source,
Mr. William Ocean...

- Mm.
- When the going gets tough,

the tough get going.

- Are we finished?
- I believe so, feels good.

Gus, we good?
I'm great.

Great.
I'm outta here.

Whoa, whoa, hold up.

This is Nadia's phone.

She must've slipped it
in my pocket

while she was feeling me
up at the park.

Something's downloading.

Oh, my God.
She was set up.

How come the guy with the g*n

didn't show up in
the security camera photos

we saw at Strabinsky's?
'Cause it wasn't taken

with that camera, Gus.
It was taken from the sky.

Like from an airplane,
or a hot air balloon.

Or a satellite?

Don't make up crap
from the future.

He's right.

These are the kind of
photographs usually taken

over occupied territories
or foreign embassies.

That's why she had to break
into the government office.

She needed
a level three computer

so she could access
the satellite photos.

It's the only photo
that could vindicate her.

Who's this?
The guy with the g*n.

Two watches?

Agent Tom Fong.

Patch me through
to air strike command.

Crap.

It's Tom Fong.

Lassiter,
this thing isn't over.

Assemble the team,
get ahold of Driggs.

We have to find Fong.

Driggs has to have
a way of tracking him.

Eh, you got away
from me in Bolivia, Nadia.

But that's over.

Now tell me where
you hid the certificates.

I'll tell you.

Wait.

No, I won't!

I guess
it's gonna get ugly then.

Freeze!
Drop the w*apon, Tom!

Freeze, Tom!

How did you find me?

I found Strabinsky
twice in one day.

You're asking me
how I tracked you down,

Jack...Fong?

You're a disgrace
to the suit, Tom.

Get him outta here.

Oh.
Oh, Nadia.

You wanted to get
caught in that park.

You knew you would,
you needed to.

You knew you'd been betrayed,

but without
knowing who the bad guy was,

who could you trust?
Me.

Because you knew
I would figure it out

and lead everyone here
to see it with their own eyes.

And you dig me.

And you look
almost as good upside down

as you do right side up.

And that can only
be said about you, me,

and maybe Javier Bardem.

- No, not Javier Bardem.
- No, you don't think so?

- Jon Stewart.
- Jon Stewart, really?

- I wouldn't...
- We didn't find Fong.

Driggs did.
It's all semantics, Gus.

It's not semantics at all.

Note to self,
look up the word "semantics."

Uh, guys, excuse me.

- Oh, right.
- Oh, of course.

- What do we, uh...
- Oh, wow.

Oh, that looks complicated.

Do you know what he did

to your feet
to get you up there?

Hey, Shawn, Gus.

I buzzed you up,
like, half an hour ago.

Well, we would've
been here sooner

but we got lost
in your topiary maze.

We just wanted
to thank you one more time

for sponsoring our case.
All right.

Well, it all worked out
so I'm happy to have helped.

Well, listen, I was in the
middle of bidding on something

when you guys rang the bell.

It's up to 30 million,
so it's getting slightly heated.

They're waiting for me
upstairs on the phone.

You're making a phone bid
of $30 million U.S.?

Yeah, I wish.
Euros.

May I?

Shawn.

- Hey.
- Hi.

Why are you standing in
Declan's foyer all by yourself?

- Creepy?
- Sort of.

- Yeah.
- Shawn,

you have solved a lot of cases
for the S.B.P.D.

but this one was
particularly impressive.

I mean, Bolivian embassies
and international espionage.

How did you and Gus do it
all by yourself?

Well, I'm not
gonna lie to you, Jules.

It was difficult.

But now that it's over, I'm
ready to put "freelance spy"

on my list of special skills.

Well, here's a mystery
you can solve for me.

Yesterday, I came here
after work

and I found three creme brulee
dishes by Declan's computer.

Any idea who could've
eaten all of those?

Mm...

I would say that Declan
has an enormous sweet tooth.

And that shouldn't be
ignored, Jules.

Sugar is a gateway drug.

Hmm.

Well, I guess then
it will remain an open case.

I guess so.

Well, I was
just about to head out

and do some shopping
for the trip.

Right.
The trip, of course.

Uh, have a... Yeah, have
a great four days off, Jules.

- It's two weeks, Shawn.
- Wow, that's lengthy.

That's significant.
That's a real long vacation time.

Have an amazing trip.

Okay?

Promise me.

'Cause you know,
they say, that...

Yes.

And that they're even better
when you have someone

you care about
to share them with.

And...

You do.

Take lots of pictures.

Not of sights.

Don't take
pictures of buildings.

Take pictures of moments.

That's what matters.

Capture them here...

And hold on to them here.

At least,
that's what I would do.

I don't know,
you might take blurry photos

of your espresso
at some random cafe.

Hey, bunny!

Bunny, hey!

Aw, we're not gonna have
to worry any more

about that hotel in Amalfi
being all booked up.

Oh, yeah?
Why's that?

Because I just bought it.
Oh, yeah!

Well, good luck with that, man.

If Gus and I ever
make it out that way,

we'll look forward
to stealing some towels.

I'm gonna
have them monogrammed.

Amalfi.
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