07x20 - Lightning Man

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Laverne & Shirley". Aired: January 27, 1976 - May 10, 1983.*
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Best friends, roommates and polar opposites Laverne and Shirley work together at the Shotz Brewery.
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07x20 - Lightning Man

Post by bunniefuu »

♪ One, two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight ♪

♪ Schlemiel, Schlimazel,
Hasenpfeffer Incorporated. ♪

(trumpeting)

♪ We're gonna do it! ♪

♪ Give us any
chance, we'll take it ♪

♪ Read us any
rule, we'll break it ♪

♪ We're gonna make
our dreams come true ♪

♪ Doin' it our way ♪

♪ Nothin's gonna
turn us back now ♪

♪ Straight ahead
and on the track now ♪

♪ We're gonna make
our dreams come true ♪

♪ Doin' it our way ♪

♪ There is nothing
we won't try ♪

♪ Never heard the
word "impossible" ♪

♪ This time there's
no stopping us ♪

♪ We're gonna do it ♪

♪ On your mark,
get set and go now ♪

♪ Got a dream and
we just know now ♪

♪ We're gonna make
that dream come true ♪

♪ And we'll do it our
way, yes, our way ♪

♪ Make all our
dreams come true ♪

♪ And we'll do it our way ♪

♪ Yes, our way ♪

♪ Make all our
dreams come true ♪

♪ For me and you. ♪

(rain pattering,
thunder rumbling)

(muttering)

(thunder crashes)

Look at all the pretty birdies.

Grandma Ragusa.

Oh, it's so good to see you.

Oh, look, you grew your
mustache. You know,

everybody used to make
fun of that, but not me.

I liked it, especially
when you kissed me.

Kiss me.

Come on! Come on!

Carmine, come on!
It's Frank DeFazio!

Come on!

Mr. DeFazio.

Yeah.

Oh, wow.

You're not gonna believe this,

but the strangest thing
just happened to me.

Sure, you made me
your grandmother,

you wanted to give me a kiss.

Are you on something?

No, no, I was walking home

from delivering a
singing telegram when,

all of a sudden, my
body started to tingle.

Next thing I knew, I
moved two whole blocks

without my feet
touching the sidewalk.

(chuckles)

I think I was
struck by lightning.

- There's a leak in the kitchen.
- That's a terrible one, too.

You know that?

Oh, Shirl, look,
there's that poor guy

who goes through our
garbage every week.

Here you go. Here's some corn.

Oh, no! Carmine!

- Carmine! It's Carmine!
- Carmine?

What happened to you?
Carmine, oh, you look awful.

You look terrible.
You look hideous.

- How do you feel?
- Medium well.

- (Shirley gasps)
- LAVERNE: Medium well?

Hey, this guy's been
hit with lightning.

- (Shirley gasps)
- I'm gonna go in the back

and fix him up something,
like a Mogul Google.

- That's what I'm going to do.
- (Shirley gasps)

- Struck by lightning?
- Oh, Carmine!

Oh, my poor dear,
struck by lightning.

Oh, we've got to get you
home, get you into bed,

get your clothes off of you...

(shrieks) They are off!

Did it hurt?

No, it...

No? Well, how does it feel?

Well, it... it sort
of tingled a lot.

- Yeah?
- Yeah, and then...

then my body sort of
shook and... and vibrated.

Tingled, shook and vibrated?

(thunder crashes)

What else happened?

- Laverne, must you? Please!
- Well, I want to know.

It's scientific research.

Well, then, go read the
Kinsey Report, all right?

Okay, then I want to
ask you one more thing...

This tingling and
vibrating feeling,

I mean, you still got it now?

- SHIRLEY: Laverne... must you?
- No, but...

Must you? The man is
standing here in his underwear,

- and you have to...
- Here! Here, here. Drink this here.

- Take my food!
- Come on, drink this down there.

I give that to Edna
every time she gets

that strange look in her eye.

Cools her off.

Good, huh?

That's wonderful.

You girls got to catch
a bus or something?

Oh, no, no, no. Laverne, you're
gonna have to go without me.

I'm gonna stay
here with Carmine.

Okay, give me your lunch.

No, Shirl, go, go.
Really, I'm fine.

- Go ahead.
- SHIRLEY: Oh, Carmine.

How can I be sure
of that, though?

I mean, look at you.

- Kiss me.
- What?

(Shirley exhales)

Carmine, you, uh...

you ought to get struck
by lightning every day.

Good-bye, my darling.

What do you think you're doing?

I couldn't help it.

Static electricity...
I was drawn to him.

Yeah, well, static electricity

is going to draw
my fist to your nose.

- Oh, come on.
- You understand what I'm talking about?

- Come here, Laverne.
- Shirl, this is scientific.

Scientific? Don't give me that.

You know, Mr. DeFazio,
I got all this energy.

I feel like I should be doing
something important today.

Why don't you go in
back and clean up?

- Good idea.
- There he is.

He's walking,
he's talking, and...

- you are there.
- Hey, hey, hey.

Hey, who are you?

What are you doing here?

Del Diamond, Channel 12 News,
coming to you live from Burbank.

Is that television?

Yes, you're on right now.

- I'll be right back!
- Take your time.

- Hi, Del.
- Hi.

I watch you all the time.

What discerning taste.

This gentleman was
just struck by lightning.

It was incredible, kid.
I was down the block,

and I saw you
from our mobile unit.

Now, how do you feel?

- Medium well.
- Medium well.

A little lightning humor.
Lightning humor. (chuckles)

Man struck by lightning,
lives to joke about it.

Any feeling of
superhum-human strength?

Any sudden rush of power?

Uh, well...

- Well, I can't fly yet.
- "Yet."

"Yet"... That's the
important word here.

Who knows what he'll be
when he awakes tomorrow?

Will he be a
superhero? A wizard?

- Or a human lightning bug?
- Hey. Hey. Hey!

No pants. You got no pants.

Go in the back and
put on some pants.

Hey.

Where's he going? Who are you?

Uh, uh, uh, I'm-I'm
Frank DeFazio.

- I own this place. This is Cowboy Bill's.
- Great.

- Get us a couple of menus.
- Well, we-we cater,

- we cater a lot, and...
- To recap this story,

ladies and gentlemen, a
man was struck by lightning

and not given the opportunity...

All right, everybody,
this is a holdup.

- FRANK: I'll be with you in a minute.
- Stick 'em up!

I said, "Stick 'em up!"

This isn't easy,
ladies and gentlemen.

We're in the middle of
a real-life crisis situation.

You, too, loudmouth...
Get 'em up.

Keep rolling, Ollie!

I'm standing here holding
my hands above my head.

ROBBER: I said shut up.

I've been ordered to shut up.

- Open that cash drawer.
- There's nothing in there!

- I got the drawer open.
- Come on.

- Look at this here.
- Open it, or I'll blow your

- mustache right over the wall.
- There's nothing there.

FRANK: Here, take
a look. It's open.

Where? Did you hide it
underneath? Come on.

FRANK: Come on,
there's nothing...!

All right, drop it, pal!

- Yeah...
- CARMINE: Come on!

- Face on the floor now!
- FRANK: What are you,

- a wiseguy or something?
- Come on, it's filthy.

- Shut up!
- Lay down! Lay down!

I'm going to call the police.

This-this is amazing,
ladies and gentlemen.

The robbery was
foiled by the man

who was just
struck by lightning.

This whole incident
is stranger than truth.

Ladies and gentlemen,

someone has sent
us a smoldering ally

to strike fear into the hearts of
those who would commit crime.

I give you... Lightning Man.

Lightning Man?

I kind of like that. It's
got a nice ring to it.

RHONDA: Oh!

Mrs. Fern, you and Rhonda
have so much in common.

We love lying in the sun,

but we hate it when
our roots show.

(chuckles)

Is it safe? Anybody here?

Just Rhonda,
babysitting the fern family.

Oh, yeah, real funny, Rhonda.

Listen, Lightning Man is
too tired to laugh right now.

I tell you, ever since
I've been on the news,

my whole life has
been upside down.

I go outside, I get mobbed.

I come inside, and Squiggy's

selling tours through
my apartment.

I think you need an
able-bodied assistant

for your personal appearances.

And now, who has
a more able body...

than Rhonda?

Nah, you know how
jealous Shirley gets.

Shirley shouldn't worry.

She knows you're
not Rhonda's type.

Thanks a lot.

- Oh, no, no, no, no, no!
- Ah...

You're a very good type.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

It's just that my
type is tall. (chuckles)

And handsome
and rich, with an air

of continental sophistication.

Hello.

Carmine, Carmine, there you
are. I've been looking everywhere.

Two members of your
mouthwatering public

are outside right now
watering their mouths.

You wouldn't believe it.

- It's a little boy...
- (Rhonda gasps)

and his desperate mother.

The little boy, all he wants
is to spend five minutes

with his new superhero,
Lightning Man.

RHONDA (gasps): Oh!

Rhonda, I think
you better leave.

I mean, the kid's only ten.

One look at you, and
he might start to pubicize.

Oh! (laughs)

He wouldn't be the first.

- (laughs)
- I bet he wouldn't.

Hey, Squiggy, this
is supposed to be

my 15-minute break.
You promised me.

Come on, give me
a break, will you?

All right, Carmine, all
right, don't jump on me.

Take your lousy 15-minute break.

Take your lousy 15-minute break.

But let it be on your head

that you made little
Kevin Swisher drop out,

get hooked on cheap wine

and die in the gutter at age 12.

All because you, Lightning Man,

wouldn't take five
lousy minutes out

to talk the little wino
from quitting school.

Come on, Squigg, I'm
no good at that stuff.

Of course you're no good at it,
but Lightning Man's great at it.

Lightning Man says,
"Stay in school,"

and the little kid will listen.

- Yeah?
- Sure.

Yeah, maybe you're right.
Maybe I'm just being selfish.

I'll talk to the kid.

All right. It's my duty, right?

Yeah, it is your
duty. All right.

Why don't we set you up here?

I'll bring the little
brat in, all right?

- What's the kid's name?
- Kevin. Kevin.

- Kevin?
- Kevin Swisher. Yeah.

- Kevin Swisher, yeah.
- Kevin.

Come on in, Mrs. Swisher,
and bring little Kevin with you.

It's a fake!

Ooh!

Lightning Man doesn't
live in a dump like this.

SQUIGGY: Isn't
he... isn't he cute?

Well, don't keep your
superhero waiting.

Get in there, would you?

Hey, kid, come on.

I'm Lightning Man.

Whoa.

It is Lightning Man.

Yes, I am, Kevin, and listen.

I just want to tell you
that it's very important

for you to stay in school

and eat all your
vegetables so you can

grow up to be big and strong...
like Lightning Man, huh?

Sounds keen.

Oh, thank you,
Mr. Lightning Man.

Please, don't touch
him. He's bonded.

All right, come
on, little Kevin.

Why don't we get moving now?

You go back to school
and become a hall monitor

or whatever you people do.

Excuse me, Mrs., uh, Swisher,
may I speak to you for a moment?

Isn't it wonderful about Kevin?

He'll now stay in school
and become a doctor.

He'll heal the sick.

And all for a mere ten dollars.

Ten?

I don't have anything
smaller than a 20.

Neither do I. Thank
you very much.

So long, Kevin. Have
a good time in school.

Be a good little... All right.

I don't believe you took
20 bucks from that lady.

You think I could have got more?

You're cold-blooded,
Squigg, you know that?

- You are cold-blooded.
- Ah, cold-blooded.

Yeah, this is no time
for false compliments.

Let's talk Turkish.

Ever since the word got out

that Squignoski Talent
handles Lightning Man,

why, I've been flooded
with three offers.

Yeah? What kind of three offers?

Well, the first one was from
the Pealy Mattress Company.

They want to give you $1,000

to go down Niagara
Falls in a bedspread.

- Uh...
- Not crazy about it myself.

The second one comes
from Fish Country Safari.

They're willing to
give you 2,500 bucks

if you kiss an electric eel.

- But I insist that you meet the eel first.
- Good idea.

- Good idea.
- Yeah, yeah, that's what I was thinking.

And the third one is from the
Drugco Pharmaceutical firm.

It's a great offer,

but I don't know, it's
just too dangerous.

- What? What?
- Too dangerous, Carmine.

Well, I don't even know if
I want to tell you about it.

It's just... well, it's just too
dangerous for you, that's all.

No, you're the
manager. You know best.

Yeah, I probably
do. I probably...

Well, why don't
I just throw it out

and see if it sticks
to the wall, huh?

Drugco Pharmaceutical...

wants you to walk a
tightrope for $20,000.

Well, I... I can walk a
tightrope for $20,000.

Uh, yeah, but you haven't
heard the hard part yet.

You see, the tightrope is
made out of dental floss.

And the net is made
out of Sunset Boulevard.

Now, I myself
would never attempt

such a harebrained scheme.

But then again, I'm
not charmed, like you.

I said, "like you."

Yeah, you're right,
I am charmed.

- Yeah.
- No reason why I shouldn't get paid for it.

Oh, good, I like a
man who thinks hasty.

Now, I've already
taken the liberty

to take a life insurance
out against your life,

naming Squignoski Talent
as your full beneficiary.

Just sign right here,

and your life won't
be worth anything...

(quiet, indistinct chatter)

(Squiggy clears throat)

Need any help, darling, in
those hard-to-reach areas?

- Mr. Squiggman?
- Mr. Henshaw!

- Where's our star?
- Where's our check?

Uh, well, I thought
we'd give it to you

a little bit later
during publicity stills.

Ah-ah. No cash, no flash.

Eh... all right.

Louise?

SQUIGGY: Louise.

- Get the check.
- Get the check.

- (Henshaw chuckling)
- SQUIGGY: Ooh, ooh, ooh.

Oh, uh, uh, Louise?

Keep it warm for me,
won't you, darling?

Mr. Henshaw, I can't tell
you what a privilege it is

working with a dentist
turned film director.

I saw your last epic,
A World Without Gums.

It was biting. It
had a certain flair.

- Come on out, Carmine.
- Oh, Squigg.

- Come on. Your public awaits you.
- Oh, Squigg.

- Squigg, no.
- Lightning Man is here.

- Come on. Come on. Don't be shy.
- No, Squigg.

- Don't be shy. Come on, now.
- No, Squigg, Squigg,

I feel a little
stupid in this outfit.

Well, of course you feel stupid.

You're dressed like a superhero.

What do you expect
to be wearing?

Uh... Bermuda shorts and a tie?

Look, Squigg, I'm
gonna be on television.

I don't want to look stupid.

Look Carmine, I
got news for you.

You always look stupid,

only now that
you're on television,

they're giving
you $20,000 for it.

This outfit does
show off my legs.

It certainly does, doesn't it?

HENSHAW: Mr. Lightning
Man, here is your check.

Thanks for keeping it
warm, my little hot plate.

Maybe someday I could
do the... same for you, huh?

Honey, there's nothing
you can do for me.

Ooh, a request.

All right, please, somebody
please take a picture

of me handing
Mr. Lightning Man a check.

Well, I guess I'm into
the big money now, huh?

- (chuckling): Huh?
- (Henshaw laughing)

All right, now, you
know what you're doing?

Sure. I got it down pat.

I just step up to
the rope like this.

This is it, ladies
and gentlemen.

We're 20 stories up,
and Lightning Man

is about to step out there

on those braided strands
of waxed dental floss

to attempt something that
has never been done before,

and with good reason.

Ladies and
gentlemen, he's ready.

I see him up...

- No, no, no, on me.
- FRANK: Hey! No! Get off there!

- What are you doing?
- There's some commotion.

- Something's going on.
- Hey! What are you doing?

- What, are you crazy?
- What are you doing?

- Come on, get out of here.
- What are you doing

- up here, Mr. DeFazio? -Cut!
- FRANK: What are you doing?

- What's the matter with you?
- What are you both doing?

- Who is that man?
- Who is that man?

Come on, Mr. DeFazio.

- You out of your mind?
- What'd you do that for?

You can't go through with this.

Sure, I can. I'm charmed.

Charmed? What good
is charmed when you'll be

laying splattered all over
the sidewalk downstairs?

Uh, Mr. DeFazio, you
seem to be forgetting

that the newspaper said
that I was Lightning Man, huh?

The newspapers also said
that Dewey b*at Truman.

Hey, open up!

Open up! I want
my Lightning Man!

- (pounding at door)
- He's busy! He's busy!

He'll be out in
a minute! (yells)

Look, Mr. DeFazio, you
don't understand, see?

I can't get hurt. I'm charmed.

I don't even know the
meaning of the word pain.

- No kidding? You don't know the meaning of the word pain?
- No.

- How about this?
- Ow!

- And how about that?
- Ow! Okay.

All right, I know the
meaning of the word pain.

But I'm still charmed.

And I was struck by lightning,
Mr. DeFazio, and that's a fact.


You can't argue with facts.

No, I can't argue with facts.

I'm going to give
you another fact.

Last year, over 18,000
people... Other people...

Got struck by lightning.

That's a fact.

- 18,000?
- Yeah.

- Yeah, but I survived.
- So did they.

Except they still
got their brains.

- 18,000?
- Yeah.

You trying to tell me that,
uh, I'm not really charmed?

- Bingo!
- Ow.

Now, come on, save
that suit for Halloween

and let's get out of here.

Wait a minute.
Hold it, Mr. DeFa...

Wait a minute. Hold it. Wait.

Look, it's not that easy.

It's a little too late for that.

You see, a lot of people
are counting on me.

I can't let them down.

I mean, if it wasn't
for Lightning Man,

the Swisher kid would
have dropped out of school.

Come on, what
are you telling me,

that you did it for them?

- Yeah.
- I know why you did it.

- Why?
- You're greedy.

I'm not greedy.

$20,000.

A little greedy.

Listen to me,
Carmine. Listen to me.

It's not worth
risking your life for.

20,000 bucks, though.

Listen to what you're saying!

Don't you hear
what you're saying?

I don't want to see you die.

HENSHAW: Aha!

Oh, what are you
doing back here, huh?

Oh, never mind.

All right, Lightning Man,
everybody's waiting out there.

Yeah... yeah, I'm
ready, Mr. Henshaw.

My... my friend was just
giving me a little pep talk here.

Good, good. (chuckles)

Get the old guy off the roof.

Get out of here.

Just think of
what I said to you.

Who is that crazy guy?

Hey, he's not
crazy, pal, all right?

Maybe I'm the one that's crazy.

It now appears,
ladies and gentlemen,

that Lightning Man
is ready to strike.

HENSHAW: Okay, kid, are you set?

Well, what are you waiting for?

Did you know that
the newspapers said

that Dewey was
elected president?

And he made a
darn good one, too.

SQUIGGY: Certainly did.

Now, get out there.

(horn honks)

HENSHAW: Now what?

CARMINE: Uh,
Mr. Henshaw, excuse me.

Uh, did you know that,
uh, 18,000 other people

were struck by lightning
and survived, too?

(frustrated chuckle)

SQUIGGY: Isn't it
amazing? Isn't it amazing?

He's an encyclopedia
of useless knowledge.

Maybe we could
work that into the film.

- Mr. Squiggman?
- Yes.

- That's your man up there.
- I know it is.

- I want you to talk to him.
- All right.

Just don't worry, sir.

I-I don't understand,
but believe me,

we can correct this instantly.

Carmine, what are you doing?

You're embarrassing
me in front of

a respected dental
hygiene director.

Listen, Squigg.

Listen, Squigg, this
is a dangerous stunt.

I could get k*lled doing this.

I got to tell you
something, Squigg...

- I'm not really charmed.
- Oh...

- I can't do this.
- Come on, Carmine.

What are you talking about?

Anyone could this.
Don't split hairs.

- All you do is you just get up on this rope like so.
- Squigg.

And then you start
to move like this,

and then you start walking

backwards, just like
so, see? Like this.

It's really quite easy
when you think about it.

You get the hang of it,
you know, this ain't bad.

I probably could make
some money at this.

And then you just sort of
do your little... little dance.

I mean, you just sort
of... you just sort of...

- you just sort of stay...
- Squigg, hold on, Squigg!

Squigg, don't look down!

SQUIGGY: Hey, hey, help...!

Squigg! Squigg!

Squigg, hold on, Squigg!

Squigg, don't look down, Squigg!

Squigg, hold on.
I'm coming, Squigg.

- Carmine!
- I'm coming, Squigg.

- Oh, Carmine. Oh, Carmine.
- Hold on, now. Hold on, Squigg.

- Oh, please.
- Come on, talk to me, Squigg. Hold on.

- I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die.
- No, you're not.

- No, I'm gonna die.
- Hold on, now. Hold on.

- Don't tell me. I know when I...
- Hold on. Hold on.

I see... I see my Maker.

- I see my Maker.
- Hold on, Squigg.

- I'm coming.
- Oh, Carmine!

I get carsick!

Carmine, please.

(Squiggy groaning)

(Squiggy sighs)

What took you so long?

Oh, gee.

(Squiggy sighing)

Boy, am I glad to see you.

Squigg, Squigg,
hold on, will you?

Oh, I'm sorry, I'm
sorry, I'm sorry.

All right, what do we do?

Boy, they could fall.

CARMINE: Don't look down,
Squigg! Don't look down!

Hold on to me, Squigg.
Hold on to the rope, Squigg.

I knew I should have
had a camera in the street.

All right, what do we do?
All right, what do we do?

What do we do? What
do we do, Carmine?

(Carmine muttering)

SQUIGGY: This is
no time to get, uh...

- get a little tongue-tied, you know.
- Okay, Squigg. Okay.

All right, shut up,
Squiggy, will you?

All right, all right, Carmine.

Now, do exactly what I tell you
and we'll make it back, okay?

- All right. All right.
- Shut up!

Now, if we make it back,
all the money is yours.

- Really? All of it?
- Because... Shut up!

Ladies and gentlemen, I've
never seen so much drama.

Lightning Man is
trying to save the life

of his friend and manager,
Andrew Squiggman.

CARMINE: You ready now?

- I'm ready.
- Okay, right hand.

- All right.
- Left hand.

All right.

- Legs.
- (Squiggy groans)

- Right hand.
- Right hand.

- Left hand.
- Left hand.

- Legs.
- (Squiggy groans)

- Okay, right hand.
- Right hand.

- Left hand.
- Left hand.

- Legs.
- (Squiggy groans)

Right hand.

- Left hand.
- Left hand.

- Legs.
- (Squiggy groans)

- Right hand.
- Right hand.

- Left hand.
- Left hand.

- Legs.
- (both grunting)

- Right hand.
- Right hand.

- Left hand.
- Left hand.

- Legs.
- (Squiggy groans)

We're not going to
make it, Carmine.

We're gonna make it, Squigg.

- We're not going to make it, Carmine.
- Hold on.

- I've got you. I've got you, Squigg.
- No, you...!

Put your arm around me.

Okay, come on.

SQUIGGY: We're
not going to make it.

We're... we're here.

Oh, boy.

- SQUIGGY: Let's rest.
- Maybe I should have put

the purple suit on the dumb one.

He did it again.

Lightning Man defied
death to save his friend.

He's a man who knows no fear.

Just a second, pal.
You got it all wrong.

Listen, I'm nothing
special, okay?

My friend Squiggy here was
in trouble, and I helped him out.

That's all I could do, okay?

Your humility is very
becoming, Lightning Man, but...

I'm not Lightning Man.

There is no Lightning Man.

That's something you made up
so you could become anchorman.

I'm not really charmed.

I'm just lucky, that's all.

And one of these days,
my luck is going to run out.

Okay, if that's the
way you feel about it.

Come on, Ollie. I'm sure we can
chase an ambulance by airtime.

SQUIGGY: We made it, Carmine.

We're rich.

We got $20,000!

- No, you got $20,000, Squigg.
- Huh?

What do you mean?

I told you, if you made
it back, it's all yours.

I couldn't possibly take
the whole thing, Carm...

I'm sorry, boys.

You didn't do the stunt,
and you don't get the dough.

(grunts)

Well, sorry I let
you down, Squigg.

Ah, how could you let me down?

You saved my life.

Gee, Carmine, it was my fault.

All I kept seeing
was them dollar signs.

I didn't care about you,
just them dollar signs.

I should have known that
you're not charmed or nothing.

You're just an ordinary
everyday Joe going no place.

Thanks for the understanding.

If I was any more
understanding, I'd be a woman.

Well, come on.

Let's get moving.

I got a friend at the
Capitol Building who thinks

we could, uh, parachute
from the top of the roof.

I'm gonna give him
a call in the morning.

- What do you say, kid?
- Hey! Hey!

Squigg! Squigg! Hey, Squigg!

Squigg! Squigg, help!

Squigg!

(sighing)

Lenny, will you
please come down?

I mean, come on!

Fame and fortune await us.

LENNY: Can't they wait
till I get my pants on?

Well, fame can,
but fortune can't.

Come on down, would you?

(gasps) Oh, my goodness.

It's the new, improved
Lightning Man.

(Lenny chuckles)

Hey, I wonder where
superheroes keep their wallets.

Well, it doesn't really matter.

You look just perfect.
You look delightful.

- Yeah?
- Oh, my goodness, it's you, it's you.

All right, now, let's see

if we can do this
properly, all right?

Nah, I don't know. See, I-I...

the only thing I
was ever struck by

was a bus when I was 12.

Well, it doesn't matter...
You're still charmed.

- You lived through it, didn't you?
- Yeah.

- Come on, let's try it, all right?
- What are we trying?

All right, like we rehearsed
it. Like we rehearsed it.

- One more time before the first kids comes in.
- Oh, okay.

- Okay, okay, okay.
- Now remember, Len,

you're going to be
saving little children

- from dropping out of school.
- Yeah, yeah.

All right, I'll bring in
the first kid, all right?

- All right, fine.
- All right, ready?

- Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I'm good.
- Feel good?

Feel good? All right. All right.

(clears throat)

Come on in, little Herschel.

Let's go. Come on.

Isn't that amazing?

Little Herschel is
thinking of dropping out

of med school at Kent State.

LENNY and SQUIGGY: Do it.

♪ We're gonna do it ♪

♪ On your mark,
get set and go now ♪

♪ Got a dream, and
we just know now ♪

♪ We're gonna make ♪

♪ That dream come true ♪

♪ And we'll do it our way ♪

♪ Yes, our way ♪

♪ Make all our dreams ♪

♪ Come true ♪

♪ For me and you. ♪
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