04x04 - A Mind of His Own

[bunniefuu]

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♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ Good-bye, gray
sky, hello, blue ♪

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it can't be wrong ♪

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♪ Hey, bird dog, you're
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Happy Days is filmed
before a live audience.

♪ Leave my lovely dove alone ♪

Hey, there's Lori Glass.

Have you got something
going with Lori Glass?

Well, I helped her in
biology, and she loves me.

Who are you
trying to kid, Potsie?

He drew a chart of the
digestive system for her,

and she said, "Thank you."

No, she's hot for me.

We looked at medical
books together.

Hey, cool it, cool it.

Here she comes.

Potsie.

Yeah?

Mr. Higgins really
liked the chart.

He especially liked the
way you followed the jujube

all the way through
the large intestine.

It was nothing.

Say, how are you

at drawing the
reproductive system?

Can't you get arrested for that?

I know you'll do it

just terrific.

Yeah.

Are you kissing my girl?

Oh, no.

Uh, she was just thanking
me for helping her.

Right guys? RICHIE: Yeah, right.

Oh, yeah, yeah, he was
helping her with reproduction.

Well, I-I meant biology.

You're dead. Careful,
this is my lucky shirt.

Bernie.

Hey, will you tell him
that he's innocent?

I don't want to get involved.

All right, come on, listen,
it's-it's no problem, really.

He's just...

I just hope for your sake that
you're helping my good friend

up to his feet here.

Who are you?

Hey, what are you,
from out of town?

I'm taking him outside
to bust his head in,

unless you want to go
in his place, big mouth.

Big mouth?

All right, look, look, it's
all a misunderstanding.

He was just trying
to help your girl

with homework, and that's all.

Is that true?

Yes.

Why didn't you say so?

I tried.

What's the matter
with your voice?

I'm scared.

Hey, uh, Bernard.

Bernie.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Bernard, I thought that we
had a rendezvous outside.

It's settled, Fonz.

Hey, I'll tell you
when it's settled.

Let's go, Bernie.

Hey, what are we fighting for?

We don't even know each other.

Hey, you know me.

I'm big mouth!

But it's a mistake.

Hey, I heard "big
mouth" loud and clear,

and now, Mr. Tourist, I am gonna

show you the parking
lot upside down!

Come on, everybody,
we're gonna see a fight!

Come on, come on!

Come on, Fonz!

Where'd everybody go?

Was the place condemned?

There's a fight outside.

Oh, no.

Are they b*ating
up my cook again?

No, it's Fonzie again.

Oh, Fonzie again.

Way to go, Fonz! That was great!

All right!

Fonz, that fight was so short,

it was hardly
worth going outside.

Yeah, that's 'cause
I save my energy

for the better things in life.

Plant one right there.
You, too, right here.

All right.

We'll continue this frivolity
some other time, girls.

Later.

Cunningham, you
missed a spectacular fight.

Oh, yeah?

I was just looking for
a good college to go to.

Yeah, it was one of my
more economical fights.

Short and sweet, dig it?

Purdue is a nice
campus, tree-lined.

Why do they call
themselves Boilermakers?

What are you talking about?

I just saved Potso's life.

I am a hero.

Hero?

Yeah.

Don't ha-ha-ha-ha me.

Now, come on, there's
something bugging you.

What are you not saying here?

Fonz.

Yeah?

You didn't have
to have that fight,

because Bernie backed down.

Are you saying the
Fonz provokes fights?

You did the same thing
this morning in the bakery.

He fights in bakeries?

All right, come on,
a guy knocked over

my bag of sweet rolls.

He apologized.

He even offered to
buy you jelly doughnuts.

Then you tried to stuff
the guy in the bread slicer.

The bread slicer?

I just tried to scare him.

It wasn't even plugged in.

Okay, all right, be funny,
do what you want to do.

Ohio State Buckeyes.

All right, will you stop
with the Ohio State?

Now, are you saying there
is something wrong with me?

Well, no, I'm just...

I think that you've been
getting in a lot of fights, Fonz.

Yeah? And I just
think that you...

Yeah, I think there's
something wrong with you.

All right, now look
what you're doing, Fonz.

You're hurting my nose.

I'm very disappointed
in you, Fonzie.

You're disappointed?

Well, let me ask you
one small question.

What?

Who cares?

I care.

Are you still sulking
about your allowance?

Now, look, I told you, we
got to start saving money.

Your brother's gonna
be going to college soon.

You know it's gonna
cost me $700 a year?

Dad, I'm 14 years old.

I can't live off 50 cents
a week allowance.

You should see
what I have to sit with

just to get a free Coke.

I wonder what she
does for a milkshake.

Look what Arthur

brought us this morning.

Jelly doughnuts for dessert.

Oh, yeah, I don't want any.

Why is he angry?

He gets a dollar a week.

You know, Fonzie b*at up
a guy for those doughnuts.

That's what I'm
gonna have to do soon.

You be quiet, Joanie.

Arthur got in another fight?

Two today.

Well, now, I can't enjoy
these doughnuts anymore.

I can.

All right, just ignore
me, just ignore me.

Cunningham, I got to
talk to you in private, huh?

You gonna grab my nose?

No, I'm not gonna, I'm
not gonna grab your nose.

I want to talk to you about
my little problem, all right?

Is it about the two
fights you had today?

Hey, Cunningham, what
are you, a town crier?

No, Arthur.

Uh, now, if this fighting
thing is a problem,

you can tell us about it.

I mean, we're family.

Well, if he's family,
what's his allowance?

Joanie.

Now, never mind, Arthur.

Come and tell us your problem.

Go right ahead, Fonz.

It-it, look, it's a very simple,
it's just that, you know,

I'm-I'm walking down the street,
and, uh, so, tha... oh, uh, uh,

so I'm coming down the street
and-and, you know, and I-I...

So I have to go around the
corner or something like that,

you know, and...

So are-are you following
me so far? You know.

Do you understand
what I'm saying to you?

You didn't say anything.

That's 'cause I can't.

I can't talk in front
of certain people.

Let's go.

Now I'm standing here alone!

I didn't mean that.

Guys, come back here.

I'm talking about the ladies,

I can't talk in
front of the ladies.

I mean, the thing is
that I'm getting tense.

I mean, I-I don't know
what's happening to me.

I just want to hit
all of a sudden.

That's not me, that's not
the Fonz, the Fonz don't hit.

What am I supposed to do?

Dad, what should he do?

Oh, well, it's, uh, it's
perfectly clear, Fonzie.

I mean, you just can't go
around picking fights with people

and b*ating them up.

v*olence is dangerous!

There's only one
thing you can do.

Yeah?

You got to snap out of it.

Snap out of it?

That's it?

Snap out of it?

No, no. See, that was
just the first part of it.

He's gonna tell you more.

You're gonna tell him
more, aren't you, Dad?

No, that was it.

Well, Dad, come on, "Snap
out of it" is a little weak.

Well, that's what they
used to tell us in the Army,

"Snap out of it, soldier."

Howard, tell him
about your problem.

That was a family
matter, Marion.

Well, you just made
him spill his guts.

Go ahead, Howard.

Well, okay.

I'll tell you something,
Fonzie, a long time ago,

I-I had this, this
terrible problem

where I, I just couldn't
get enough to eat.

No matter what I did, I
could not get enough food.

And then, one day, I met
the man who helped me.

A farmer.

I'm not gonna tell this story.

Howard, now, Howard.

Howard went to a psychologist,

and he helped
him to stop eating.

He did, huh?

Yes, you should have
seen Howard then.

He w... I've got pictures.

Do you want to see them?

He was such a jumbo!

Marion!

Well, they're-they're
packed away upstairs.

Nobody will ever see them.

I'll burn them.

Is Fonzie really going
to a psychologist?

You know, he's the first person
I ever knew that went to one.

Well, it's a good thing
to do if you need help.

Are they gonna put
him in a straitjacket?

Aaayyh! Aaayyh! Aaayyh! Aaayyh!

Hey, she's just a
child, Fonz, just a child.

All right, yeah, yeah, yeah,
just a child, just a child.

Now, listen,

I think you should
give this guy a try.

I mean, if you go to him,

and he doesn't help
you, what have you lost?

But you've had
eight fights this week.

All right, all right, I'll tell
you what we're gonna do.

You're gonna go see this
doctor, you're gonna tell him

it's your problem,
and you're gonna come

and tell me what he says to do.

You really believe I can
go in there with this face

and tell somebody
I b*at people up?

No. No.

All right, I'm going, I'm going.

You make an
appointment, all right?

I'll let this guy, uh, mess
around with my temper.

But just remember,
I ain't gonna let him

mess around with the good stuff!

Whoa!

Come on, Doc,
speed this up, will you?

My friend Richie is
waiting for me outside.

Fonzie.

Would you like to, uh,
lie down on the couch?

Oh.

Uh, now, Richie
told me on the phone

that lately you've
been having trouble

with, uh, street fighting.

Lately, there's been a
lot of v*olence in your life.

Yeah, that's right,
so just give me

a pill, I'll be on
my way, right?

I'm afraid it's not that simple.

Hey, I know that;
that was just a joke!

There was a smile on
my face when I said it!

Are you gonna hit me?

No, I'm not gonna hit you.

Good.

Now, look, Fonzie,
what's the problem?

I'm a psychologist; you
can say anything to me.

I don't like your suit.

Well, that's a start.

Do you have a girlfriend? No.

No girlfriend.

I see.

Uh, don't touch that, please.

Uh, you know, I
like to spread myself

kind of out, you know how it is?

I don't like to... I see.

Uh, don't water that, please.

So you go out with
more than one girlfriend?

Yeah.

No peeking, please.

Well, you're a picky
little fellow, aren't you?

You know, it always used
to confuse me to go out

with, uh, two or
three girls at one time.

You ought to try juggling 150.

What?

150 girlfriends?

Yeah, that's what
I just said, isn't it?

And you believe that?

Yeah, I believe that.

You just asked me a
question, I gave you an answer.

Why don't you lie
down on the couch?

Hey, now, wait a minute.

You asked me a question,
I told you the truth.

All right, all right, all right.

Maybe 200... I didn't
take inventory this week.

I see.

And what is the reason

for this marvelous
success with women?

I'm the Fonz.

That's it, you're the Fonz?

That's right, I snap my
fingers, girls come running.

You know... whoa!

That's very interesting.

Fonzie, would you step
outside for a moment?

I'd like to talk to
Richie, and, uh,

if you don't mind,
don't touch anything.

Hey, Cunningham,
front and center.

This guy wants to talk to you,

and, uh, watch the
couch, very strange.

You know, uh, you got
your friend here just in time.

He's a loony bird.

Well, it's all that fighting.

Fighting nothing, it's girls.

Do you know he thinks

that he's got 150 girlfriends?

150?

Yeah, well, that's about right.

And you believe it?

You're caught up in his fantasy.

You think, when he snaps
his fingers, girls come running?

Well, yeah, he can do that.

You're not helping at all.

Miss Franklin...
get off that desk!

Control yourself,
what are you doing?

Hey now, Doc, take it easy.

Take it easy, huh?

She's a very friendly chick.

How did you do that?

Well, I just tried to tell you.

But I've never been able
to get anywhere with her.

I've wined her, I've
dined her, I gave her a job.

She can't type, file
or answer the phone.

You know, I've even...

I've even tried to be
a father figure to her.

Can... can you teach me to...

I thought we came here
to talk about my problem.

Problems? What problems?

If you can get Miss Franklin

to do that... No,
look, we came here

to talk about Fonzie's fighting.

Fighting? That's no
problem, I'll give you a pill.

Oh, come on, Fonz, let's go.
Now, look, all we have to do

is find an outlet
for your hostility.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

It won't take any time at all.

Now, look, about my bill...

Hey, now, go easy on
me, I'm a working man.

Uh, I'll work something out.

I'll help you, and
you'll teach me to...

Well, first of all,
it ain't like this,

and second of all, it
only works for me, huh?

Whoa!

Yes? I was just
practicing... later.

♪ 'Cause you've got ♪
♪ Personality ♪

♪ Walk ♪
♪ With personality ♪

♪ Talk ♪
♪ With personality ♪

♪ Smile ♪
♪ With personality ♪

♪ Charm ♪
♪ With personality ♪

♪ Love ♪
♪ With personality ♪

Okay, Rich, go ahead, now,
what else did the doc say?

Well, he told him to,
uh, to build birdhouses.

What are you talking about?

Why would he tell the
Fonz to build birdhouses?

He's supposed to get out his...

his pent up
hostilities that way.

You see, he used
to get out his tension

by doing a lot of body
work at the garage,

but business has
been slow lately,

so the doctor told
him that he's gonna

have to find
something else to hit.

He's gonna catch
birds and b*at them up?

No, hammering, hammering!

He hammers when
he builds birdhouses.

It's psychology.

You guys will learn about it

when you go to college.

Hi, guys. Joanie.

Joanie, what are you
doing with Fonzie's jacket?

He gave it to me.

You look really cute,

like Leo Gorcey with freckles.

Sit on it, Ralph.

Gosh, the Fonz
gave away his jacket.

He must be in pretty bad shape.

All right, let's go, girls.

Let's go, very
gently, very gently.

I should be in
that bad of shape.

What are you girls
hanging around for?

We got more birdhouses
to deliver, let's go.

A little dignity, let's
walk it out here,

Walk it out.

Hey Fonz, that... that's...

that's a nice shirt you got on.

Oh, yeah, blue, see, very
peaceful, very peaceful.

There he is.

The guy with the
funny blue shirt on.

That's the guy who
b*at you up? Yeah.

The guy playing
with the dollhouse?

He looked a lot tougher
with his leather jacket on.

Uh, they couldn't possibly
be talking about me.

Well, I think they are,
but just remember: control.

Hey, hey, hey, hey,
the Fonz is in control.

Yeah, you.

I'm Butch.

Hi, Butch.

Bernie's brother.

I've come to settle the score.

Oh, no, no, I don't
think that's necessary.

You see, look, I apologize
for busting up Bernie here.

I lost a little control there.

How about if I make
you a birdhouse, huh?

What color do you want?

This is what I think
of your birdhouse.

Fonz.

Oh, oh, it's all right.

I just got a pinched nerve.

I am in control.

No, I don't think we're
gonna discuss this right now

since we seem to be a
little hot under the collar.

And besides that, I got a
date with the Polaski twins.

I made them a set of
matching birdhouses.

Mr. C,

I got this down to a science.

I can build a birdhouse
in five minutes.

I want to talk to
you. Watch this.

You can talk to me while
I'm hammering, all right?

Wait! Not on my table. Marion...

Keep going, I can't
hear you. No, no,

I want to talk to you
about these bird things.

Talk it up, talk it
up. Wait a minute!

I want to talk to you about
these blasted birdhouses!

Why is he yelling at me?

Oh, Howard, you're just upset

about all the hammering.

Would you like to go upstairs?

I'm not in the mood, Marion.

I'm going out and get a paper.

But, Howard, I have
a chicken in the oven.

Let him get his own paper.

Now, what's up with big H?

Oh, it's just that Howard and I

are very worried
about you. Why is that?

Well, it-it's not like you to...

stay up in your room
for a whole week.

I've done that before.

Not alone.

Hey, true, huh?

Hey, what is Alfred's
birdhouse doing here?

Oh, he sent it over to be fixed.

You see that, I told
you he'd like it, huh?

'Cause he knew you
were afraid to his place.

Afraid? Is that what
everybody's saying... afraid?

Yeah, 'cause those guys
chased you out last week.

Chased? Well, I'll
just go right down there

and fix it in front of him.

Hey, Fonz, you gonna
pound those guys?

Hey, hey, hey, Shortcake,

there is no reason to fight.

You can talk your
way out of any fight.

You know what
the key is? Control.

You know, Joanie, you
look really cute in my jacket,

but there is a, uh,
spot on my sleeve

which I'm sure
that you will clean.

There is a spot on
the sleeve of my jacket.

I am in control.

Everything is in control.

There's a spot on my jacket.

Okay, now, that's gonna
hold it right there, see that?

Great.

You know, I think
I'm making a lot

of people uncomfortable
here today.

Well, you just got to understand

that people aren't
used to seeing the Fonz

under complete control.

Hey, I can dig that.

Yeah. Hey, okay.

Hey, look who's here.

Oh, hi, Butch, hi, Bernie.

Huh, huh, huh?

Building any dollhouses lately?

Uh... I'm going up, Cunningham.

Come on down, Fonz.
Okay, I'm coming down.

I'm coming down.
You're doing good.

I never thought
I'd see him again.

They must have
given him the day off

at the chicken coop.

Aw...

Look at his little dollhouse.

Aw.

Show us how you play.

Cunningham?

It's just talk, Fonz.

It's just talk, it's
just talk. Yeah.

Hey, dollhouse man,
while you're sitting there,

why don't you shine my shoes?

Fonz!

I-I-I'm just going for a walk.

I'm just going
for a walk, Richie.

I'll tell you when
you can leave.

Uh, Richie, uh...?

Get him.

Yeah.

Shortcake!

Whoa, am I sorry you touched me!

'Cause, you know,
when I get touched,

I feel like pounding,

I feel like... like hitting,

I feel like ripping,
you know, like...

Now, that could have
been your head, gentlemen.

Now, that's the guy
I was talking about.

What are you
getting so hot about?

You apologized.

Yeah, yeah, I apologized.

Get over here, get over here.

We apologized.

You apologized.

We were only kidding.

Oh, yeah, well,
I wasn't kidding.

Just hold your ground.

I am not going to hurt them.

I am not hurting
them, I am in control.

Just kidding, just kidding, huh?

All right, all right, what?

Can we go now?

Yeah, you can go now.

Hey.

Why don't you run?

I want to talk to you for
a minute, Cunningham.

I was in perfect control.

You know, that was your fault.

You went bananas over there

with "Get him," you understand?

Well, yeah, but I wouldn't want

people to push you around.

I'm not too crazy about that,

either, let me tell you.

I mean, the guy
got physical, right?

And you had to draw the line.

I drew it pretty well, huh?

Yeah. Yeah.

And then, you let
them off the hook.

You proved that talking
is better than punching.

That's 'cause I'm ahead
of my time, Cunningham.

Right.

And Fonz? Yeah?

That's why I was proud of you.

Oh, you're proud now.

Well, that's different
than disappointed, ain't it?

All right, I'm okay
now, right? Yeah.

No more shrinks,

no more birdhouses.

Well, maybe I'll just
fix this one, you know?

Oh, yeah, I'll help
you carry it home.

What has she got
in my pockets here?

Lipstick, compact, what is this?

Oh.

She put taffy in
your pocket, too.

Cunningham, the taffy is mine.

Hey, Shortcake!

All right, everybody out.

We're closing, closing up.

Hey, Alfred, Alfred,
what is the rush?

Oh, hey, Fonz, stick
around a little bit, will you?

I want to talk to you.

Okay, good night.

Hey, uh, come on Fonz,
the girls are in a hurry.

Yeah, right, I'll
be right there.

Wait for me, right?

Look, Fonz,

listen, I... I want to thank you

for setting me up
with Choo Choo.

It was my pleasure... I figured

you'd like her better
than a birdhouse.

Well, no, the
birdhouse was nice.

Yeah, wasn't it?

Not as nice as...

Hey, I can dig it.

I can dig it. Hey, Fonz,

would you give me a few tips?

Oh, yeah, come here, Alfred.

To start off, start
dancing with her.

It gets her blood up,
you know what I mean?

All right, yeah.

Hey, Fonz, would
you mind hurrying up?

She's blowing in my ear,

and we're not
even to the car yet.

Control, Cunningham, control.

Let me tell you, this
is no time for control.

Look at that.

My teacher is in a rush, huh?

All right, hey, hey, hey.

Come on, man,
this dance is on me.

♪ I'm walkin', yes, indeed ♪
All right.

♪ I'm a-talkin'
about you and me ♪

♪ And I'm hopin' that
you'll come back to me ♪

♪ I'm lonely as I can be ♪

♪ I'm waitin' for your company ♪

♪ I'm hopin' that you'll
come back to me ♪

♪ Whatcha gonna do
when the well runs dry? ♪

♪ You're gonna
run away and hide ♪

Oh, boy, I hope you're Italian!

♪ I'm walkin', yes, indeed... ♪

♪ These happy days
are yours and mine ♪

♪ These are such happy days ♪

♪ Good-bye, gray
sky, hello, blue ♪

♪ There's nothing can
hold me when I hold you ♪

♪ It feels so right,
it can't be wrong ♪

♪ Rockin' and
rollin' all week long ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

♪ Happy and free ♪
♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

♪ Share them with me ♪
♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ These happy days
are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are
yours and mine, Happy Days! ♪