04x05 - Fonzie the Father

[bunniefuu]

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday,
happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ The weekend
comes, my cycle hums ♪

♪ Ready to race to you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

♪ Happy and free ♪
♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

♪ Share them with me ♪
♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ Good-bye, gray
sky, hello, blue ♪

♪ There's nothing can
hold me when I hold you ♪

♪ It feels so right
it can't be wrong ♪

♪ Rocking and
rolling all week long ♪

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday,
happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ Saturday, what a day ♪

♪ Groovin' all week with you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

♪ Share them with me ♪
♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

♪ Happy and free ♪
♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ These happy days ♪

♪ Are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are yours ♪

♪ And mine, Happy Days! ♪

♪ Take out the papers
and the trash... ♪

Happy Days is filmed
before a studio audience.

♪ If you don't scrub
that kitchen floor ♪

♪ You ain't gonna rock... ♪

Come on, Al,
let's see you smile.

You know, you're
cute when you smile.

Oh, yeah. Come on, Al,
let's give a little twinkle.

Come on, Al, a little smile.

Oh, hey, Al.

What am I doing?

I paid $65 for
those baseball caps

and those T-shirts, and
the team gets clobbered.

Well, it's not like you lost.

Oh, is that right?

What's the newspaper
going to say?

"Potsie Loses"?

No. They're going to say

"Arnold's Drive-In Slaughtered
by Sally's Knit and Yarn Shop."

We had an off day.

Richie, four to
three is an off day.

24 to three is... slaughtered.

I'm really aggravated.

Hey, Al? Huh?

Heard your team got clobbered.

Look, they had an off day.

It could happen to anybody.

It's a great bunch of guys here.

They're all coming back.

Win a game, will you?

It's embarrassing.

I seem to get the feeling
Al's sorry he's sponsoring us.

Ah, forget Al. What time are
your folks leaving on vacation?

They're leaving at 4:00,
and at 4:01, the party begins.

All right. All right.

I'm going to bring my bongos.

♪ Day, ee-dah-day,
ee-dah-day, ee-dah-day ♪

♪ Oh, daylight comes and
they want to go home... ♪ Oh!

Ralph, my parents are leaving,
but the neighbors are staying.

Don't worry. Don't
worry. I'll keep

the noise down.

Oh, sure, just like you
did at Potsie's party?

That was different.

Our neighbors hated
us before the party.

Uh, excuse me?

Which one of you is Richie?

Two against one.

I... I guess I'm Richie.

Hello.

My name is Louisa Corrigan,
and I'm looking for Fonzie.

Does he know that?

No.

Haven't seen him in a long time.

At least nine months.

Oh, come on.

Now don't kid an
expectant mother.

Well-Well, listen, uh,

Fonzie usually comes
in here after work.

He should be here pretty soon.

Oh, thank you very much.

You're sweet.

Well, I guess I'll wait for him.

It's important.

Yeah, I'll bet you
it's important, yeah.

Pretty important stuff.

Boy, Fonz is gonna have to
get a new address and fast.

I better go tell him. No, wait.

Hey, will you cool it, Ralph?

Why?

This is not kid stuff.

Fonzie's going to have
to do right by this girl.

Well, guys, if he
won't marry her, I will.

Oh, sit on it!

♪ Who's sorry now? ♪

How are you, my
lads? How are you?

We're okay, Fonz,
but you know, uh,

there's this girl, and
she's looking for you.

Just one, Ralph, huh? Hey.

Fonz? Yeah?

I think you'd
better sit down here

and let us talk to
you for a minute.

No, I don't have
time. I don't have time.

I got a date tonight.

I've got to limber up my
fingers on the pinball machine.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!

I need some quiet.
I got to concentrate.

All right, my little
ball, do your stuff.

Whoa!

Fonz, about this girl, uh,

she looks like that
she's, uh... very nice.

Uh, her name is Louisa.

Hey, Louisa, Marie... I
can't keep track, huh?

Well, this girl's
different, Fonz.

This girl could shake you up.

I usually shake them up.

Don't I, Malph? I
usually shake 'em up.

The ball... stay up.

Uh, did he come in yet?

Um, excuse me?

Hi. I'm Louisa.

Hi. I'm Potsie Weber.

♪ ♪

Oh. Oh, Joanie, you've
got too much in this suitcase.

Your father gets upset when
you take too much on trips.

But I need everything.

I have many moods now.

I'm a mysterious woman.

You're a strange girl.

Now help me close this suitcase.

Oh, let's face it.

We need an elephant
to get this closed.

Hey, Marion?

I can't find my golf bag.

Oh, you need
some help with that?

Yes, dear. Yes.

Here, let me give you a hand.

All right, let me
know when you got it.

Okay?

No. Wait.

Okay. Okay?

Got it. Okay.

Right. Oh, see?

It didn't really take an ele...

Uh, go upstairs, dear, and
find your father's golf bag.

Dad, don't bend your left elbow.

Hey, the door's stuck.

Oh, for...

Is that still broken?

Now you should fix that, Howard.

You're in hardware.

It's not broken, Marion.

It's the dampness. It-It swells.

Well, let's use the back
door before it swells.

Okay.

Oh, hey, Mr. C.

Uh, we were just wondering

if I could have a house guest
while you go on vacation.

Well, of course you can, Fonzie.

I mean, it's your apartment.

You can have
anybody there you want.

Now, if you'll excuse me...

Well, Dad, now the thing is...

It's all right, Louisa.
Come on in. Thank you.

Oh. Hello, hello.

Hi. Hi.

Oh, hi...

She?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

See, uh, this is
Louisa, the house guest,

and this is, uh, the
Cunningham Family,

your average American family.

How do you do?

How do you do? How do you do?

I thought that she
should stay here

instead of Fonzie's room,

because, uh, well,
I'm responsible.

What?

You, Richard?!

You get such good grades.

Dad?

Dad? Dad,

I found your baby?

Uh, Joanie...

All right, now, time
out here, time out.

I made the same mistake myself.

This is Mrs... Dig it?

Mrs. Corrigan.

Yeah, her husband is a
very good friend of mine.

Oh.

Oh, Richard, I love you.

Yeah, I-I know, Mom.

I know. FONZIE: Yeah, right.

You see, uh, I'm responsible

because I invited her
to stay in Joanie's room.

Yeah, her, uh... her husband,

Danny Corrigan is
an old buddy of mine.

Danny's on a cross-country race.

He sent me to stay with Fonzie

till he gets back.

And-And the baby's not due

for two weeks yet.

You're certainly
welcome in our house.

I mean, anyone with a husband
can sleep in Joanie's room.

Well, good luck to you.

We have to go.

Good luck to you, too.

Now, Richard will
show you Joanie's room,

and if there's any trouble,
now, Richard has our number.

Okay. Thank you.

Come on, Marion.
Well, wait a minute.

Wait a minute, wait a minute.
Don't take the long way.

What about the front
door? Oh, forget it.

It swells. Oh, Dad, let him try.

It doesn't work, Fonzie.

Hey.

Now, remember, if
anything happens to Louisa,

boil water and tear sheets.

Thank you, Florence
Shortcake Nightingale.

Are they gone? FONZIE: Yeah.

All right, it's party time!

Uh, Cunningham, what
do you mean, party time?

Oh, I got a biggie
planned, Fonz.

I got potato chips.

I got three different
kinds of pretzels.

I got six different
kinds of soda.

Uh, Cunningham, you want
to get back where you were?

Three kinds of pretzels?

I understand that, but
you can't have a party here

with an expectant mother.

Why not? She said she
didn't want to be any trouble.

Because the party's gonna
keep her up all night, that's why.

You know that Danny
is my oldest friend.

He was on the back of my
bike when I got my first ticket.

Okay.

I'm gonna go over to
Arnold's and stay out real late.

Cunningham? Ooh!

Listen, I don't think
you understand.

You've got to stay
here with Louisa.

You mean, in case
of an emergency?

No, in case she wants to mambo.

I knew that, but I thought
you were gonna stay with her.

Me? Yeah, Fonz.

You remember?

You know, you and
Danny, best friends,

ticket on the motorcycle.

All that's true.
All that's true.

But let me tell you something.

The thing is, I got one of
my A plus evenings planned.

Oh. Well, I-I don't know
how to say this, Fonz, but, uh,

I don't think that's very fair.

Not fair, huh?

Well, don't let it be said
that I am not a man of justice.

Great, I'll see you later, Fonz.

Cunningham, you want

to get back right
here where you were?

This is what we're
gonna do, Red.

We're gonna tell each
other about our evenings,

and the one with the more
interesting evening leaves.

I have a date with
the Aloha Pussycats.

They're that-that dancing
group at the Hawaiian Room,

aren't they? That's right.

Which one are
you going out with?

All of 'em.

Well, that's not a bad evening.

Hey, for a Monday, for a Monday.

And you, sir?

Well, see, uh,

I was thinking that I'd
go over to Arnold's...

Oh, yeah.

And I'd-I'd meet
Ralph and Potsie there.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And, uh, we'd look around

for some chicks, you
know what I mean?

Right, right.

And Potsie'd talk
about his appendix scar.

He still does that, huh? Yeah.

And, uh... And-And
Ralph would tell some

of his moron jokes.

And we'd order some French
fries or something, you know...

I guess I'll stay.

See ya.

Look out, girls.

Put on your grass skirts.

The Fonz is coming
along with a lawnmower.

♪ La, la-la, la ♪

♪ La, la-la, la ♪

♪ La, la-la, la ♪

♪ La, la-la, la. ♪

Well, I think it's getting late.

I should get the baby to bed.

Oh, uh, here, let me help you.

No, that's all right, I got it.

Uh, there. Thank you.

Listen, um, how come you
get stuck with me every night?

Oh, well, it's not stuck, no.

It's lots of fun.

Oh. Three nights in a row?

Come on.

I thought Fonzie was
supposed to stay with me.

Well, normally, he would,
he would, except that,

well, he's entertaining some
special friends from Hawaii.

He'll probably be in late.

Oh. Well, thank you
for staying with me.

Oh, that's all right.

You know, Richie,
you really are very nice.

Good night.

Nice.

Mr. Nice.

I'll probably be voted
the nicest kid in my class.

I'll wind up on the
All-Star Nice Team.

Pat Boone, Kate Smith,
Captain Kangaroo and me.

I'm talking to a stuffed doll.

Man, I got to get off that team.

Open up, Rich, quick!

Well, it's stuck.
You got to push!

Okay. One, two.

Don't push me, Ralph!

Three!

Good work, Pots.

A guy can get k*lled
coming into this place.

I didn't invite you.

Maybe so, but boy, are you
going to be glad we're here.

Rich, we just picked up

some chicks at Arnold's.

It was easy.

They didn't know us.

Look, I'm stuck here,

so I don't want to hear
anything about chicks.

I'm not listening, you see?

What's with you?

They were on their way home
from the Lake Gamefish Contest.

♪ Oh, d-doo-dah-day. ♪

Rich, there's one
for you out in the car.

A girl for me?

Yeah. ♪ Doo-dah. ♪

Wait,

a, a nice girl for me?

Oh, she's much better than nice.

Friendly.

All right, now, you
guys set me up.

What's wrong with her?

What's wrong with her?

Yeah.

Bring her in, Pots.

Right, Ralph.

Come on in, Brenda.

Wait till you see the name
she had in competition.

Show him.

Miss Trout.

What beautiful gills.

We'll be right out, Brenda.

Huh...?

Oh, Miss Trout, here I come.

♪ Miss Trout, me and you... ♪
Yeah, boy.

♪ Let's go, Rich,
let's go, come on. ♪

I can't go.

What are you talking about?

I can't leave her alone.

Bring it along; we'll
hang it from the mirror.

Not the doll.

Louisa.

Oh, no, no, don't bring Louisa.

She'll spoil all the fun.

Okay, okay, they're
waiting for us.

Now, are you going
to come... Yes or no?

I can't. Let's go, Pots.

I can't figure him out.

Yeah.

What are we going
to do with Miss Trout?

I don't know, she's
too good to throw back.

Miss Trout.

Boy, would I like to
swim upstream with her.

That Fonzie.

I'm going to smack him!

♪ Aaayyh! ♪

I'm fed up, Fonz.

Let's have it out right now.

Is it the way I'm dressed?

Cunningham, I can't talk
to you when you're like this.

Will you just put 'em up,
Fonz, huh? Just put 'em up.

Now, let me ask you a question.

Is this a bad joke
or just a good sh*t

at su1c1de?

You made me spend the whole
night with an expecting mother

when I could have
had a date with a trout.

Just defend yourself, huh?

Wait a minute,
not until you tell me

why you want to
go out with a fish.

Potsie and Ralph
picked up on some chicks.

They probably didn't
know 'em. They didn't.

Aaayyh!

All right, all right, you
know, you used to be

such a nice kid.

Oh, nice kid, huh? Yeah.

All right, Fonz, that's it.

Put 'em up, you, you nerd.

Nerd?

Aaayyh.

Ah, come on, I
didn't even hit you.

I didn't say that, Fonz.

Oh, all right.

Get ready, boys!

It's time!

Fonz. Yeah?

I think she's going
to have her baby.

All right, all right.

We're just going to be cool.

Right, right, I'm cool.

We're going to stay cool. Yeah.

All right, this is
a time for cool.

Right. We're going to
listen to our instincts.

Listen to your instincts, Fonz.

I'm listening to my instincts.

All right, all right.

All right, now just
tear this into strips.

I'm going to boil water.

Right, Fonz.

Oh, Fonz? Yeah?

Why are we doing this?
Because someone told me...

Uh, uh, Shortcake... just
before she started her vacation.

Shortcake? The kid.

Bad idea.

We need some medical books.

Medical books. Yeah.

Aaayyh, medical
books, all right.

Here we go... hardware,
hardware, hardware.

Where are your
father's medical books?

He's in hardware. I forgot.

Yeah, all right.

Oh, Mom likes these over here.

Boys... I could
use a little help.

Yeah, artificial respiration.

Uh, no, that's for drowning.

Well, let's put
her in some water.

Yeah right... no, no,
let's get her a doctor.

I-I already called the doctor.

The doctor's going to
meet me at the hospital.

So would somebody
please go get my bag?

Good idea. Richie, get her bag.

You see how easy
this is going to be?

We just have to get her
from here to the hospital.

I'm going to start my bike.

Fonz, why are you
starting your bike?

No reason. I'm
gonna go get the bag.

Good.

You know, this
is unfair, Louisa.

You said two weeks,
you said two weeks.

Well, tell him.

You said two weeks,
you said two weeks.

Whoop! Aah!

Richie.

Oh, that door's stuck, Fonz.

Aaayyh.

Richie, Richie, it's stuck!

Yeah, right.

Yeah, the window... we'll
shove her through the window.

Let's go through
the window, right.

Fonz. Yeah.

The kitchen door
works. I knew that.

Let's go.

Calm, very calm.

It opened. It worked.

It opened. Yeah.

It opened.

You got to keep up.

Will you keep up?

You got to keep up!

This way, this way.

One step at a time,
you're doing fine.

You see that? You're doing fine.

Hey, Fonz, maybe one
of us should have driven.

Don't you understand?

Don't you understand

she needed that
for confidence, huh?

Hey, listen, Richie,
put her in this.

Right. I'll take care of this.

Nurse, we need a nurse!

Nurse, we need a nurse!

Shh...

I almost forgot, I forgot we
were in a hospital, I forgot.

Yeah, so shh.

Here, now put this on.

Are we in a loony bin
or the emergency room?

No, this is the emergency room.

Oh, good. Hey, don't you work

at Spic 'N Span Cleaners?

Yeah, I'm Kitty, I do
volunteer work here.

Listen, we're here because
we got a baby that's about...

I mean, we got a lady
that's about to have a baby.

Oh, you picked a bad night.

Yeah, see, Nurse Millie
Nash is retiring tonight...

40 years on the job.

She's such a sweet person.

Yeah, well, I got to tell you...

We got a sweet person here

that in a minute is going to
become two sweet people.

How far apart are
the contractions?

Five minutes. Five minutes.

Five minutes? You
got a lot of time.

Relax, join the
fun... Have a horn.

Look, you don't
understand, ma'am.

Will you give me that?

Oh, I'm sorry.

She said there was no rush.

I don't normally
do things like that.

It's time, it's time.

But you just said
there was a lot of time.

No, it's time for the
party. Quiet down.

Here, here, you
should have a hat.

You definitely
got to have a hat.

Take one, give them
out, give them out.

Get ready, duck.

Hide, everybody,
hide, hide, hide, hide.

Get down, get down.

Okay, okay, okay.

Ready, ready?

Here she comes.

Why is it so dark?

You can't have a
hospital in the dark.

Surprise!

♪ For she's a
jolly good fellow ♪

♪ For she's a
jolly good fellow ♪

♪ For she's a
jolly good fellow ♪

♪ Which nobody can deny. ♪

Yay!

Oh, Millie, we all chipped in
and we bought you a present.

What did you get me?

Something really terrific.

Thank you, I love it.

Hey, hey, hey, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa.

No, no, Millie.

No, we got you a watch.

Oh, who needs a watch?

I need new teeth.

Oh, it's time.

Hey, hey, hey, time
out, time out here!

Hold it, hold it.

All right, you take care of her.

You get her room.

The doctors... Will
you take off your hats

and be like a hospital?

Will you come on? Let's move it.

Everybody, move it. There
is a baby coming here.

There is a baby coming here.

The man's right,
the man's right.

Go back to work.

All right, listen, the
party will continue...

The party will continue
when the baby is delivered.

Now, that is the way a
hospital should be run.

Well, here we are.

Since we're waiting for
this blessed event to occur,

I figure we could
discuss your behavior

earlier this evening,
Cunningham.

You were pretty feisty.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, I was pretty tough, huh?

Well, you'd be a lot
tougher without the hat,

let me tell you.

I believe the word
you used was "nerd."

Right.

Right, that was pretty rotten.

Calling the Fonz
a nerd is not nice.

You see, Fonz,
I'm trying not to be

such a nice guy all the time.

You know what I mean?

It's my new image.

Oh, I forgot to put
money in the meter.

Oh, don't worry, I'll get it.

Hey, you see that? I
fooled you, I fooled you.

You're a nice guy.

You're stuck with it.

I guess so. Yeah.

Why do you think I let
you hang around with me?

Well, I-I didn't mean
to call you a nerd, Fonz.

Hey, I know that, I know that.

Just don't let it
happen again, all right?

Listen, you know, I
shouldn't have made you

stay around with
Louisa all the time either.

A guy's got a right to do
whatever he wants to do,

even if it is dull.

Hi, boys.

This is Louisa's baby.

Oh... what is it?

It's a fine healthy boy.

Aaayyh, look at that.

Yeah, what else do you
think Danny would have?

I was just on my
way to the nursery

and I thought you might
like to have a little peek.

Oh.

Oh, cute little shrimp.

How are you?

You look pink.

I tell you something.

Listen, your father
would have been here,

you understand,
but he's on the road.

He's going to be
so proud of you.

Oh, whoa.

Listen, you know, if he was
here, he'd give you advice.

What?

Oh, uh, well, you know,
he'd kind of go like, um,

"It's a tough world.

"You want to be cool,

"you don't do nothing to nobody

that you don't want
them to do to you, huh?"

Can you dig that?

Aaayyh!

♪ La, la, la, la, la, la, la ♪

♪ La, la, la, la, la, la, la ♪

♪ La, la, la, la. ♪

Malph... Malph.

Hey, hey, all right, you
don't have to babysit.

Yeah, I talked to Cunningham.

He's got a date with a fish.

Yeah, all right, will
you stop blubbering?

Yeah, I'm still your
best palsy-walsy.

Right.

Will you get out of here?

Maybe I should
stay home tonight.

Hey, not on your life.

Your husband drove 800 miles

so we could be with him when
he's crowned Mr. Kickstand.

♪ Oh, you beautiful fish ♪

♪ You great big,
beautiful fish ♪

♪ Oh, you beautiful fish ♪

♪ You great big,
beautiful fish. ♪

Well, nothing's
going to interfere

with Miss Trout tonight.

I got it, I got it.

Well, now, it's got to
be someone I can trust.

Hey, who I got, you can trust.

Laverne and Shirley.

Do they babysit?

Do they babysit?

Danny couldn't get
better than L. and S.

Are you kidding? Come
on, let's go, let's go.

Well, uh,

d-don't you think we
ought to phone them first?

Are you kidding?

We'll just pop in.

I just forgot my keys.

Here, let me hold him.

Now, be careful.

What are you talking
about... be careful?

I'm the godfather.

It's all right. We're going

to take him over to babysit
at, uh, Laverne and Shirley.

Oh.

Kitchy-kitchy-koo.

Don't you tell
anybody I just said that.

Laverne and Shirley
with the baby?

Ha, ha, ha.

♪ Good-bye, gray
sky, hello, blue ♪

♪ There's nothing can
hold me when I hold you ♪

♪ It feels so right,
it can't be wrong ♪

♪ Rockin' and
rollin' all week long ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

♪ Happy and free ♪
♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

♪ Share them with me ♪
♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ These happy days
are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are
yours and mine, Happy Days! ♪