04x08 - They sh**t Fonzies, Don't They?

[bunniefuu]

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday,
happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ The weekend
comes, my cycle hums ♪

♪ Ready to race to you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

♪ Happy and free ♪
♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

♪ Share them with me ♪
♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ Good-bye, gray
sky, hello, blue ♪

♪ There's nothing can
hold me when I hold you ♪

♪ It feels so right
it can't be wrong ♪

♪ Rocking and
rolling all week long ♪

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday,
happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ Saturday, what a day ♪

♪ Groovin' all week with you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

♪ Share them with me ♪
♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

♪ Happy and free ♪
♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ These happy days ♪

♪ Are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are yours ♪

♪ And mine, Happy Days! ♪

♪ Take out the papers
and the trash... ♪

Now if you want us to play
for the Marathon Dance,

it's going to cost you $200.

$200?

We're a three-piece band,
Al, playing six instruments.

All right now, listen to this.

Before you make an offer, I just
want you to picture something.

It's 6:00, Saturday night.

Milwaukee is especially boring,

but the word is out.

There's a marathon
dance at Arnold's.

Not just measly
records on the jukebox,

no, we've got a
live band here, Al,

and the place is packed.

The kids... the
kids are very hungry

because the music is so good,

and they want
cheeseburgers at this table.

Over here, they
want to have pizza.

At this table, they
want fish sandwiches.

Oh...

the fish is selling?

Of course it's selling.

Look at this, Al, you
have no room on your grill.

Your freezers are empty.

They're buying the fish?

They're buying everything, Al.

And by the end of
the marathon dance,

you are completely sold out.

The biggest day
in Arnold's history!

I love it! I love it!

Okay, I'll pay the band $25.

$25?

Oh, forget it, forget it.

$35 plus a meal.

Will you eat the fish?

No. You got a deal, Al.

Good bargaining,
Ralph, good bargaining!

Okay, I've got to order
some fish; I'll rent a freezer!

Hey, Chang, they're
buying the fish!

Well, do I drive a hard bargain

or do I drive a hard bargain?

He used to be such a nice guy.

What's wrong?

You're upset because
I closed the deal?

I was trying for $200.

$200?

I heard, I heard.

What do you mean?

How could he ask for $200?

You just signed us up for
a marathon dance, Ralph.

We could be
working for 15 hours.

15 hours?

That's terrible!

That's 15 times
three, into 35...

78 cents an hour.

Look, you can't blame me.

I got us good money,
it's the hours that are bad.

Let's get something
to drink, Pots.

You got money?

No, we'll sip
other people's. Oh.

I'll buy you a malt, Joanie,
you'll forget about them.

Forget?

Forget being cut from
the pom-pom girls?

Oh, you didn't make it, huh?

Do you see pom-poms
in my hand? Well, relax.

Look, it's the first
time you tried out.

Maybe you just
weren't good enough.

Not good enough?
Show him your cheer.

Yeah, watch this.

Hit them high, hit them low,

come on, Jefferson, go, go, go!

Pretty good, huh?

Not bad.

Jill Higgins is the captain.

She's the one who cut me.

Aw, don't you think you're
taking it too seriously?

Big deal. So you didn't
make the pom-poms.

Yeah, Joanie, it's no big deal.

Well, it is to me.

She's always flaunting
her pom-poms.

Excuse me, Cunningham.

Sure, Higgins.

Jimmy, could I talk to you?

Sure.

Come on, we'll have a malt.

Jimmy, where are you going?

With Jill.

She's a pom-pom.

I can't take it
anymore, I can't take it.

She beats me at everything.

When we did our science project,

her snake swallowed
my white mouse.

I always wondered whatever
happened to Herbert.

♪ La, la, la, la, la, la, la ♪

♪ La, la, la. ♪

Joanie, I know you can b*at that
pom-pom at the marathon dance.

Well, not only am I not
entering the dance marathon,

I'm not even going.

What do you mean,
you're not going?

We're all going.

I'm going to be a judge,

Mother's going to
be the first aid lady,

and Richie's
playing in the band.

It's almost a family outing.

I wouldn't have a chance
against her in the dance marathon.

Her partner is her
brother, Bubba.

Well, a Bubba doesn't
sound so hard to b*at.

This Bubba lifts
weights, cars, trains...

I gotta tell you,
I gotta tell you,

I'm very sorry that I'm late.

Hey, look at this, huh?

Asparagus... all right.

Corn, huh?

I'll tell you something, I
love being well-balanced.

Heyyy...

Why is everybody staring?

Did I do something wrong?

Is there a hair out of place?

Arthur? Yeah.

How would you like to
enter a dance marathon?

Well, I'll tell you
something, Mrs. C.,

there's a marathon
I want to enter,

but it's got nothing
to do with dancing.

I was talking about
being Joanie's partner.

Oh, hey, no offense,
no offense, but I can't.

See, I promised Eddie Milkis

I'd be his mechanic in a
stock car race in Chicago.

But that's on Friday night.

And you could make it
back in plenty of time.

Oh, listen, Fonzie

doesn't have to help us.

I mean, it's not as if

he's one of the family.

Hey.

Why are you putting
your food back?

Because the Fonz
does nothing out of guilt.

I happen to be a free spirit,

happily motoring
down the road of life.

I want to b*at Jill Higgins.

Jill Higgins, you mean
that little pom pop turnip?

Is she still bugging you?

Yeah, more than ever.

Yeah, and you're Joanie's
only chance of b*ating her.

I'll tell you, the Fonz's
work is never done.

So, Fonz, are you going to
enter the dance marathon?

Only if this chick
shows me her dimples.

All right.

Okay, let's eat.

Yeah, now I can
get back my veggies.

You are going to be the
handsomest judge at the dance.

And you are going to be
the prettiest first aid lady.

Thank you, dear.

You know, I haven't
dressed like this

since World w*r II.

Yeah, I know.

I remember when I came home
on furlough, you were so cute.

That's when we had Joanie. Yeah.

Oh, boy,

every Saturday
it's the same thing.

When is that kid
going to college?

Joanie will be down in a minute.

Have you heard
anything from Fonzie?

No, not a word.

Yeah, but you know,
he's always late;

likes to make the grand entrance

just in the nick of time.

Well, I gotta get going.

Al wants us to get
there a half hour early

to help defrost the fish.

He's so excited.

I'm not very excited.

39 cents an hour and I have
to split it with a girl drummer.

There's Arthur.

Yeah, what did I tell you?

Ready for the grand entrance,

all spruced up and
ready to go, huh?

Uh, like they say,
better late than never.

So I'm coming back from Chicago,

and all of a sudden
I'm making this turn...

and my handlebars
fell right off the bike.

Oh, my goodness!

Yeah, it makes it a
little rough on the curves.

Well, how did you get here?

Well, I pushed my bike 12 miles.

The last three on my knees.

I can't walk one more step.

No. Well, it's all right.
Joanie will understand.

Yeah, sure.

There'll be other marathons.

She can enter next year.

Oh, Fonzie, I'm so glad you...

Well, what happened?

You're not even ready.

Yeah, look, Shortcake,

I was coming around this turn...

You're not going to the dance?

Well, sweetheart, he tried to...

No, no, no, whoa, whoa, whoa...

whoa...

Would I give up
a date with a chick

that is cuter than
a button, huh?

No.

I'll take a freshen-up shower,

put on my dancing moccasins,
and I'll be fit as a fiddle.

I saw it, I saw
it. I'm in control.

♪ Zippity do-dah,
zippity eh... ♪

Is he all right?

Oh, he's fit as a fiddle,

and he's a little
zippity do-dah, too.

♪ Venus, Goddess
of love that you are ♪

♪ Surely the things I ask ♪

♪ Won't be too great a task ♪

♪ Venus, if you do ♪

♪ I promise that I
always will be true ♪

♪ I'll give her all the
love I have to give ♪

♪ As long as we
both shall live ♪

♪ Hey, Venus ♪

♪ Oh, Venus ♪

♪ Make my wish come true ♪

♪ Make my wish come true ♪

♪ Make my wish come true. ♪

Yowza, yowza, yowza,
that was Potsie Webber.

Now everybody keep dancing, as
we approach the seven-hour mark.

Seven full... Uh-oh, uh-oh.

There's another couple
out of the marathon.

Our judges Howard and Marion
Cunningham will assist them off.

Who knows?

Who will be the last
couple still dancing?

Who can answer this question?

Folks, we have more fish.

Plenty of fish.

Right, Al.

Who will be able to stand
the grueling, painful hours,

and win for themselves
this wonderful trophy

donated by Crepnicks
Foot Pad Company?

Hey, Red, I'm growing tired
from listening to your voice.

Uh, right, Bubba.

Getting ready to
give up, Joanie?

Let me tell you
something, little girl.

This lady just asked me
to take her roller-skating

when we win this
marathon, and we will.

So I see we got a little
competition this year, huh?

Very little.

Do you know what
I think is terrific?

That an elephant
learned how to talk.

Well, then maybe you'd like
to make a little wager, huh?

Say five bucks, ducktail?

Oh, no, come on, let's
make it ten, you creep.

And, oh, oh, oh,

just so that you
don't get confused,

that's one dollar for
every finger on both hands,

Bubble Brain.

You're on!

I want a challenge dance!

Yowza, yowza, yowza.

We got the first challenge
dance of the evening.

Jill picks the dance and
challenges the other contestants

to keep up or get disqualified.

Name your dance, Jill.

The jitterbug!

Oh, a k*ller, a
real k*ller dance.

I'm glad we only have to play.

Let's hit it, boys.

♪ Rock in the
treetop all day long ♪

♪ Rockin' and a-boppin'
and a-singing his song ♪

♪ All the little birds
on Jaybird Street ♪

♪ Love to hear the robin
go tweet, tweet, tweet ♪

♪ Rockin' robin ♪

♪ Rockin' robin ♪

♪ See the rockin' robin ♪

♪ 'Cause you're really
gonna rock tonight, yeah ♪

One more time.

♪ Rock in the
treetop all day long ♪

♪ Rockin' and a-boppin'
and a singing his song ♪

♪ All the little birds
on Jaybird Street ♪

♪ Love to hear the robin
go tweet, tweet, tweet ♪

♪ Rockin' robin ♪
Yeah.

♪ Rockin' robin ♪
Blow it, Rich!

♪ Hey, rockin' robin ♪

♪ 'Cause you're really
gonna rock tonight. ♪

Hey, little bird, do it right;

all your rockin' all night long.

That a way, bird. Yeah.

Yowza, yowza, yowza,

and Jill's challenge
jitterbug really took its toll.

Four more couples
have dropped out.

Well, we're gonna take a
two-minute break right now.

Now everybody remember,

they got to be back
on the dance floor

when we start the next number.

I feel great, don't you, Fonz?

Superb.

Well, I'm gonna go get a drink.

Just rest a minute, okay?

Hey, Fonz, you're
doing great. Fonz?

Fonz! Yeah?

Oh, good. There's
only six couples left.

Oh, that's terrific. Cunningham?

Hmm?

What are those two words
you start every sentence with?

Yowza, yow...

You're giving me a headache!

Oh, I'm sorry about that.

That's all right.

Listen, why don't
you just tell Joanie

about having to push
your bike all the way?

She'll understand that.

Hey, are you kidding me?

This marathon means
so much to her, huh?

I can make it. I'm making it.

All right, Fonz, good luck.

And you're looking terrific.

Hey, Rich, I can't sing anymore.

I've sung the whole
Top 40 and three hymns.

Oh. Okay, you'd
better sing one, Ralph.

I'll play the piano.

Okay.

Yowza, yowza.

I mean, yes, sir.

It's time to end the
two-minute break.

All contestants
out on the floor.

We know how much
you love to do the twist.

So, for our next
number, we're gonna...

Cunningham?

I think it's about time
that we do a waltz.

A waltz?

Oh, come on, Rich,
I don't want to do...

♪ Oh, how we danced
on the night we were wed ♪

♪ We vowed our true love,
though a word wasn't said ♪

♪ The world was in bloom ♪

♪ There were stars in the sky ♪

♪ Except for the few that
were there in your eyes ♪

♪ Dearly I held you
close in my arms ♪

♪ Angels were singing
a hymn to your charms ♪

♪ Two hearts gently
b*ating and murmuring low ♪

♪ My darling, I love you so. ♪

Getting tired, Fonzie?

You can stop.

Let me tell you something.

Even if I wanted
to stop, I can't.

This body don't quit. Huh.

Well, then, maybe you'd
like to up our little bet.

Up it where?

Forget money.

If we win, you get a crewcut.

Crewcut? Let me tell you...

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, whoa!

Keep dancing.

Yeah, you're
right. You're right.

All right, all right, I'm
dancing, I'm dancing.

Listen, if we lose, I'll get a
crewcut, but we won't, see?

And when we win, then Miss
Cunningham here becomes

a cheerleader like she should
have been in the first place.

It's a bet.

It's a bet.

Thanks, Fonz.
You're the greatest.

Heyyy...

Hold me up, will
you? Hold me up.

Okay. Listen, listen. If
you have to get a crewcut,

I'll knit you a cap.

You'll knit me a Spanish accent

'cause I'm going to Peru!

Fish...

Yowza, yowza...

Yowza, yowza, yowza.

Here we are in the 14th hour.

There are still three
couples dancing.

There are still two
couples dancing.

We're dedicating this
next cha-cha challenge

to those stubborn, wonderful,
rotten, dancing fools.

I can't sing anymore, Rich.

Me, neither.

Show-off.

Where do girls
get all that energy?

I don't know.

I hear girls have extra-large
adrenaline glands.

You have to hear that?

You couldn't see for yourself?

We're gonna take a
two-minute break now.

Let's take a break.

Oh, Fonz, no, don't lie
down; it'll be harder to get up.

Don't you ever get tired?

No, it's not a school night.

Arthur,

are you all right, dear?

Hey, it's like taking candy
from a baby, Mrs. Whoever.

Howard...

Huh?

Arthur, he's had too much.

You've got to disqualify him.

No, I, I'm not going
to do that, Marion,

but I'll talk to Joanie.

It's better for her if
she makes the decision.

Now, don't worry about it.

She's a sweet and
sympathetic girl.

What do you mean,
you want to quit?!

You can't quit!

You're all talk, no action!

It worked!

You're standing up, Fonz.
I knew you could do it.

Hey, that was a trick?

That was a good one, Shortcake.

Joanie, come here.
I gotta talk to you.

Oh, I got Fonzie going again.

Boy, he tires easy.

Yeah, but there's
a reason for it.

Now, enough is enough.

Oh, but I feel great!

Joanie, it is not you!
Would you look at Fonzie?

He's fine. I keep tricking him.

Oh, gotta go, Dad.

Wait a minute.

Now, Fonzie didn't
want you to know this,

but he pushed his
motorcycle 12 miles

just to get to this
dance on time,

for you.

Now, do you still want
to go on tricking him?

I'm up, right?

I'm up. My feet are
moving like a bandit.

You're in la-la land, Fonz.

Oh, yeah?

Let me tell you something,
it's a lot of fun in la-la land.

It might not look it,

but inside, I'm doing the mambo.

Oh, Fonz, the dance is over.

Did we win, huh? We won, huh?

Hey, we won.

Whoa, I knew we could make it.

That's it.

He really wanted to go on.

It's me, I quit.

That's it! Fonzie's
finished. We win!

Hey, Fonz, I know a barber
who gives great crewcuts!

Crewcut!

Crewcut?

Hey, you're talking
about my hair here.

Let me tell you something.

I have a challenge
dance request.

No.

Yowza, yowza...

No yowza, just a challenge.

This challenge
dance is called...

the kazatski!

We'll fake it.

Yeah, one, two, one, two, three!

Wow!

The winners are
Cunningham and Fonzarelli!

I would just like to thank
someone, uh, here tonight

without whom this whole thing
would not have been possible.

Of course, I am
talking about myself.

Also, uh, thanks very
much for my foot. Hmm.

I would also like to say
that Joanie Cunningham,

our newest pom-pom girl
at Jefferson High School

is not bad, either.

Thanks, Fonz.

Don't tell Mom we lost.

Oh, Bubba.

Girls?

Home, James. Heyyy...

You know something, Joanie?

You were fantastic.

You kissed me!

Oh, well, it-it's
late. I lost my head.

Did you see that?

She kissed her brother.

It's been a day of miracles.

Yeah.

Can I walk you home?

Sure you can walk
me home, Jimmy.

♪ These happy days are
yours and mine, Happy Days. ♪

♪ Good-bye gray
sky, hello, blue ♪

♪ There's nothing can
hold me when I hold you ♪

♪ It feels so right,
it can't be wrong ♪

♪ Rockin' and
rollin' all week long ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

♪ Happy and free ♪
♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

♪ Share them with me ♪

♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ These happy days
are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are
yours and mine, Happy Days! ♪