01x07 - Chapter 07: Stop Dragon My Heart Around

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Peacemaker". Aired: January 13, 2022 to present.*
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Based on the DC comics is A man who fights for peace at any cost, no matter how many people he has to k*ll.
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01x07 - Chapter 07: Stop Dragon My Heart Around

Post by bunniefuu »

♪ ("HOME SWEET HOME"
BY MÖTLEY CRÜE PLAYING) ♪

♪ My heart's like an open book
for the whole world to read ♪


♪ Sometime nothing keeps me
together at the seams ♪


♪ I'm on my way, I'm on my way ♪

♪ Home sweet home... ♪

It's a bitch song, but it still rocks.

- So cool.
- Do this.

- Is that white power?
- f*ck white power.

It's the devil. It means
rock and roll forever,

and tongue kiss hot babes,
and smoke pot all day!

- Yeah!
- Yeah!

♪ Home sweet home... ♪

Your old man's ready
for you two maggots.

- (GROWLS)
- (KEITH GROWLS)

All right, m*therf*ckers. Let's go.

Bets right here. Let's go.
Let your money talk. Come on.

- What you got? All right...
- (CROWD CLAMORING, LAUGHING)

(CHEERING)

Keep going. Keep going.
Keep going, Keith...

No kicking, no biting,
no grabbing, no...

Ah, f*ck that! No holds barred!

- (CROWD CHEERS)
- Hit it.

(BUCKET CLANGS)

Come on. Let's go. What do you want?

Don't be a f*gg*t.
Get in there and hit him!

- (CROWD CHEERING)
- (DOG BARKING)

- (CHRIS GRUNTS)
- Go, one more sh*t!

AUGGIE SMITH: Come on,
Chris! You hit like a girl!

CAPTAIN LOCKE: (ON TV) ... the
Glan Tai Bottling Plant m*ssacre.


REPORTER: Any leads on
where the Peacemaker might be?


AUGGIE: Come on, Chris,
don't be a p*ssy!

- (KEITH GRUNTS)
- (CROWD CHEERS)

- (CHUCKLES) Yeah.
- (DOG BARKING)

- SPECTATOR : Whoa! Wait a second. Hey!
- SPECTATOR : What's goin' on?

- SPECTATOR : Somethin' ain't right.
- (CHEERING FADES)

(CHUCKLES) He's doing the worm.

- (CROWD MUTTERING)
- SPECTATOR : Yeah, there's some kind of seizure.

- ♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
- (DOG BARKING)

AUGGIE: Keith?

Keith.

Keith! Keith!

Keith!

LOCKE: We have a few leads.
We have every cop


in the country out looking for him.

- AUGGIE: Keith!
- (DOG BARKING)

Keith! Keith!

You dumb f*ck. You k*lled your brother!

You k*lled your brother,
you piece of sh*t!

You dumbfuck! You k*lled your brother!

- (SNIFFLES)
- (KNOCKING ON DOOR)

AUGGIE: You k*lled him, you dumbfuck!

- (KNOCKING CONTINUES)
- VIGILANTE: You okay in there?

(BANGING)

♪ Do ya really wanna
do ya really wanna taste it? ♪


♪ ("DO YA WANNA TASTE IT"
BY WIG WAM PLAYING) ♪

- ♪ Get it on ♪
- ♪ Get on top ♪


- ♪ Make a move extreme ♪
- ♪ Make a pose ♪


♪ Take a shortcut to your dreams ♪

♪ I float straight to the stars
on that flying thing ♪


- ♪ Getting high ♪
- ♪ Getting brave ♪


♪ Getting snow blind ♪

- ♪ Game ♪
- ♪ Set, go ♪


♪ Pick a tune, chick harpoon
in a world beyond ♪


♪ Got a b*at, got a heat
on a phony string ♪


- ♪ Tear your world apart ♪
- ♪ Once the magic starts ♪


♪ Do ya really wanna
do ya really wanna taste it? ♪


♪ What's going up must come down ♪

♪ Do ya really wanna
do ya really wanna taste it? ♪


♪ Baby, you're losing ground ♪

♪ Blind to what you'll soon become ♪

♪ The mirror lies
the whole world's wrong ♪


- (g*nsh*t)
- ♪ But you ♪

♪ Dancing with your blinkers on ♪

♪ Throw your dog the invisible bone ♪

♪ Do ya really wanna
do ya really wanna taste it? ♪


♪ What's going up must come down ♪

♪ Do ya really wanna
do ya really wanna taste it? ♪


♪ Baby, you're losing ground ♪

♪ Blind to what you'll soon become ♪

♪ The mirror lies ♪

♪ The whole world's wrong but you ♪

♪ Dancing with your blinkers on ♪

♪ Throw your dog the invisible bone ♪

- ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
- (EAGLY SCREECHES)

(WATER TRICKLING)

- (KNOCKING ON DOOR)
- VIGILANTE: Dude?

Dude?

(KNOCKING CONTINUES)

- Dude?
- (INDISTINCT CHATTER ON TV)

- (KNOCKING ON DOOR)
- Hey, you okay in there?

f*ck.

We gotta get the f*ck
out of here. That guy on TV,

he's supposed to be the guy
watching our backs.

Every police station
in the country has one mandate


this morning.

Find and stop the Peacemaker
by whatever means necessary.


- You think he's a bird?
- A bird?

- Like Goff.
- Butterfly.

Dude, a butterfly is a type of bird.

A butterfly's not a bird,
it's a f*cking bug!

- f*cking Adebayo! She f*cked me.
- VIGILANTE: What?

She probably planted
that diary in my trailer.

I knew I couldn't trust these people.

- ♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
- Where the f*ck's Judomaster?

Judomaster was supposed to be there?

f*ck it. Can't worry about it now.

- Move.
- All right.

AUGGIE: I've got all the Peacemaker
helmets programmed in.

These ones at the police station,

they must've been confiscated yesterday.

But these ones... that's
gotta be Christopher.

WHITE HOOD: That's him.

- The diary is fake?
- Of course it's a fake.

If I was gonna write a diary,
it wouldn't be a diary,

it'd be a f*cking journal.

Well, I would read
anything you wrote, dude.

I bet you could do some b*mb poetry.

Dude, I thought you said
you didn't write a diary.

PEACEMAKER: I didn't!
Did you see that thing?

It looked like it fell out
of my f*cking vag*na.

Do I look like the type of guy
to stay up all night

collaging Jupiters and aliens and sh*t

to put on the front of my f*cking diary?

On first impressions,
I'd have said, "No".

But after getting to know you
a little bit, I gotta admit,

it's definitely something
I can see you doing.

You know what? Fine. f*ck it.

If I enjoyed it, I wouldn't let
people's judgments hold me back.

I'd collage all sorts of sh*t.

- Yeah, that's cool of you.
- Yeah. It is f*cking cool of me.

I'd make a collage of the three of us

f*cking some chicks with
a bunch of dolphins around us

doing beer bongs in a Corvette.

I don't want a dolphin watching me f*ck.

- Where are you going?
- Vigilante and me might as well

get this done before they find us.

- What done?
- (g*n COCKS)

- k*ll this f*cking cow.
- We are? Cool!

- ♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
- You coming?

No.

- Eagly.
- (EAGLY SQUAWKS)

f*ck! Goddammit!

LOCKE: (ON TV) Among the many
items found in the search


of Christopher Smith's home

was a diary written by the suspect.

- (KNOCKING ON DOOR)
- LOCKE: The diary links Smith

not only to the m*rder...

You did it, didn't you?

Waller sent you here
for this express purpose.

- Did what?
- Planted a diary

in Peacemaker's trailer.

Yes.

That's why Peacemaker
was chosen in the first place.

You're gonna lone-sh**t
the poor bastard?

He has a history of instability
and conspiratorial beliefs.

Couple that with violent outbursts,

- he was the perfect pawn.
- He was your f*cking friend.

- Maybe you should back off.
- Oh yeah?

Yeah. Because you've been
f*cking with me

- from the first day I got here!
- Well, maybe I could sense

- your interior assh*le.
- My what?

Like, inside of all this
nice person stuff,

you're really just a f*cking assh*le!

I thought you were bringing up
some weird medical condition.

Why would I bring up
a medical condition?

I don't know! Maybe because
you seem like the kind of bitch

who would pick on
someone's health issues

in the middle of an argument.

Well, I'm not the one who just
betrayed one of our own!

Oh, okay! So it's okay
to sh**t an innocent man

begging for his life,
but this you have an issue with?

He is a fellow soldier!

Pretty random rule, that
the only lives that matter

are the lives of the ones
who fight beside us?

- Yes!
- Well...

that is an incredibly clever way
of shutting yourself off

from the rest of the world's problems,

but for me, it doesn't work.
I'm not made for this sh*t.

I don't wanna be here
no more. (SNIFFLES)

So I'm leaving.

Well, then why the f*ck
did you even come?

Because I lost my job,

and my mother offered me this one!

Your mother?

Yes. But I didn't know
that I was gonna get...

caught up in Mars att*cks.

Holy f*ck! Your mother is Amanda Waller?

Hey. We need to get out of here.

EMILIA HARCOURT:
She is Waller's daughter.

Yeah, I know. You think
I wouldn't do a background check

on anyone coming to work with us?

I don't know how your weird
butterfly brain works.

- She also planted...
- Planted the diary. I figured.

She probably shouldn't have done that.

And if she did, she should've waited

until after we'd completed the mission.

But that guy on TV,
he's our man on the inside,

which means he's compromised.

And since our weird butterfly brains

inherit human memories,
he'll know we're here.

So drop whatever differences
you two are having,

pack up what you need,
and meet me in the lot.

- I f*cking trusted you!
- f*ck.

What are you talking
about? I feel like...

Man, every time we drink,
you talk about TV shows.

- I'm sick of it.
- Bro... (SIGHS)

How have you not seen
Boondock Saints? It's a classic.

Vigilante... Jesus! Man!
(BREATHES HEAVILY)

(LAUGHING) Dude scared
the sh*t out of me.

- It's a f*cking leprechaun, man.
- A little dude.

- Oh my God. He's hilarious-looking.
- Oh, he's getting mad!

They're always after me Lucky Charms!

(LAUGHS) I love it!

(BOTH LAUGHING)

PEACEMAKER: (ON PHONE) If you
have a message for Chris or Eagly,


- please leave it at the tone.
- (CELLPHONE BEEPS)

Chris, I just wanna
make sure you're okay.

Let's try to figure this thing out.

(SIGHS) Call me.

f*ck!

♪ ("IN MY DREAMS"
BY WIG WAM PLAYING ON RADIO) ♪

- ♪ Come on, come on, come on ♪
- (SINGING ALONG) ♪ Come on ♪

- ♪ Love is all over me ♪
- ♪ Love is all over me ♪


- ♪ Over me ♪
- ♪ Over me, yeah ♪


♪ You are the only one
living in my fantasy... ♪


Aren't you guys being a little
nonchalant about all this?

PEACEMAKER: Economos,
are you insinuating

there is a wrong time
and a right time to rock?

♪ (MUSIC CONTINUES) ♪

♪ Face the truth
and I'll be all alone... ♪


(g*ns CLICKING)

They're on North,

about to pass the exit
to Contorinis Road.


I've got eyes.

♪ Come on, come on come on... ♪

AUGGIE: Got it.

♪ Love is all over me over me ♪

♪ You are the only one
living in my fantasy ♪


♪ In my dreams come on,
come on, come on ♪


♪ (MUSIC STOPS ABRUPTLY) ♪

(SQUEALS)

JOHN ECONOMOS: What the f*ck was that?

(GROANING)

- (CAR APPROACHING)
- (TIRES SCREECH)

(VEHICLE THUDS)

- ♪ (OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
- (METAL CLANGING)

- Dad?
- VIGILANTE: Oh, f*ck.

What are you doing?

AUGGIE: What I should've done long ago.

- (PEACEMAKER GROANS)
- (EAGLY SQUEALS)

(g*nshots)

(EAGLY SQUEALS)

That's it, man. We gotta go.
Come on, get up.

(g*nshots)

- (GRUNTS)
- WHITE HOOD: Go, go, go!

VIGILANTE: There's
no wrong time to rock!

- (expl*si*n)
- Vij! (GRUNTS)

- No!
- No, no, no.

Peacemaker, we gotta go.

(AUGGIE GROANS)

Get the f*ck away from me!

(GROANS) Well...

(BREATHES HEAVILY)

(TABLET BEEPING)

SKINHEAD GIRL:
Your son went into the woods.

AUGGIE: Lead the way.

♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

(VIGILANTE BREATHES HEAVILY)

How the f*ck did he find you?

- (PANTS)
- (BIRDS CHIRPING)

What?

f*ck!

(TRACKER BEEPING)

(EAGLY SCREECHES)

- SKINHEAD GIRL: He's fast.
- (CAR DOOR SLAMS)

r*cist THUG: You left
your keys in the car?

WHITE HOOD w*nk*r: What? I was rushing.

- (TIRES SCREECH)
- AUGGIE: Ignore it. Let's go.

(BOTH LAUGHING)

I'm not kidding.

There was at least girls to one guy.

You're an assh*le, man.
You're an assh*le.

So, what do you wanna do tonight?

- You wanna go to the club or...
- (JUDOMASTER YELLS)

- ♪ (INTENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
- Mother... (GROANS)

- (JUDOMASTER GRUNTS)
- (GROANS, CHOKES)

JUDOMASTER: Kiai!

- (MUNCHES)
- ♪ (INTENSE MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪

(CAR ENGINE REVS)

♪ (OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

(TIRES SCREECHING)

(OFFICERS CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY)

(TIRES SCREECHING)

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

Open up! Police!

(KNOCKING)

Hey! I know you're pissed, but...

(WHISPERING) Get down, get
down, get down, get down.

(BREATHES HEAVILY)

SKINHEAD GIRL: He's right down there.

(r*cist THUG GROANS)

He's running like a spaz.

AUGGIE: Let's go.

(WHITE HOODS MUTTERING INDISTINCTLY)

(RACCOON CHITTERING)

(WHITE HOODS CLAMORING)

AUGGIE: Hit, my ass.
Breathing down my neck.

(SIGHS)

f*cking raccoons are hardcore, man.

Wasn't exactly inconsistent with
what I imagined would happen

if a man just walked up
and grabbed a wild raccoon.

- (EAGLY SQUAWKS)
- ♪ (OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

- Let's go.
- (EAGLY SQUAWKS)

♪ ("DON'T CLOSE YOUR EYES"
BY KIX PLAYING ON RADIO) ♪

(PANTING)

♪ Don't close your eyes ♪

♪ Don't sing your last lullaby ♪

♪ There's no one there to hold... ♪

- ♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
- (RADIO STATIC)

- (KNOCKING ON DOOR)
- SOPHIE SONG: Open up! Police!

- (KNOCKING CONTINUES)
- SONG: Police! Open up!

- Leota, Harcourt, go now.
- (g*n COCKS)

Do you hear me?

- (OVER RADIO) You can do it.
- (KNOCKING ON DOOR)

SONG: Police! (GRUNTS)

I'm proud to have had you on my team.

Finish the job!

- k*ll the f*cking cow!
- (g*nshots)

(POLICE OFFICER GROANS)

- (OFFICERS GRUNTING)
- (MURN GROANS)

How do you know about the cow?

Nothing you can do will make me...

- (SCOFFS)
- (g*nshots)

(GASPS)

SONG: (OVER RADIO)
Now we really need to hurry.

We need to get the teleportation
equipment to the ranch.


LARRY FITZGIBBON: Hey.

(BUTTERFLY CHITTERS)

(SCREECHES)

- Ik Nobe Llok?
- (SQUEALS)

You could've just joined us.

- (SQUEALS)
- (CRACKING)

You m*rder*d him.

The alternative was what?

He was a warrior.

Without him, his outfit
will have no chance

of stopping us.

Two clowns in costumes
and a couple of rejects.

We need to go.

(BREATHES DEEPLY)

(GASPS)

♪ (SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

(SIGHS) Fu... No.

(BUTTERFLY SQUEALS)

(SQUEALS QUIETLY)

(SQUEAKING)

- (SQUEAKS)
- (HARCOURT SOBS)

♪ (SOMBER MUSIC CONTINUES) ♪

How the f*ck are we gonna
do this without him?

- ♪ (MUSIC ENDS) ♪
- JUDOMASTER: Kiai!

Ding-dong, b*tches!

Oh, you gotta be f*cking
kidding me right now.

(LEOTA ADEBAYO GROANS)

(BREATHES HEAVILY)

That's your last sucker
punch, assh*le. (GRUNTS)

(GRUNTING)

(JUDOMASTER YELLS)

(HARCOURT GRUNTING)

- (GRUNTS)
- (JUDOMASTER GROANS)

- (GRUNTS)
- (BREATHES HEAVILY)

(GROANS)

(HARCOURT LAUGHS)

- Rope a dope, dumbshit.
- JUDOMASTER: What?

- (ELECTRICITY CRACKLES)
- (SCREAMS)

- (ELECTRICITY CRACKLES)
- (JUDOMASTER GROANING)

You down now, m*therf*cker?

I think you got him.

- (TRACKER BEEPING)
- (WHITE HOODS MUTTERING)

SKINHEAD GIRL: He's right there.

(RACCOON SCREECHES)

- AUGGIE: f*ck me.
- (WHITE HOODS GROAN)

AUGGIE: Fan out! Find him.

SKINHEAD GIRL: Wait. I got something.

♪ ("HOT CHERIE" BY HARDLINE
PLAYING ON RADIO) ♪

The door!

- Come on!
- Hey, dude, what are you doing?

Right, the dash!

Scoot.

- (EAGLY SQUAWKING)
- Ow, ow! Hey, hey!

Ow! My assh*le!

- What the f*ck, dude?
- (EAGLY SQUAWKS)

What the f*ck's wrong with your bird?

- Bad Eagly, stop it.
- (EAGLY SCREECHES)

- (GROANS)
- (EAGLY SQUEALS)

(CAR ENGINE REVVING)

- ♪ (MUSIC VOLUME INCREASES) ♪
- What are you doing, man?

There's no wrong time
to rock, m*therf*cker.

Now is. This is the wrong time to rock.

♪ You're gettin' me hot Cherie ♪

♪ And I want what you got all over me ♪

Isn't my love strong enough? ♪

♪ I'm ready to rock you... ♪

- (EAGLY SCREECHING)
- (WHIMPERS) Stop!

How did they find you guys anyway?

He put a GPS tracking device
in Peacemaker's helmet.

♪ I want what you got all over me ♪

♪ I'm going crazy... ♪

What?

- (BRAKES SCREECH)
- ♪ (MUSIC STOPS) ♪

- PEACEMAKER: Damn it.
- I didn't know!

- I thought they were expensive.
- PEACEMAKER: f*ck!

Oh, I gotta pee so f*cking bad.

No, Eagly, get back in the car.

John, can you get him in the car?

Sure. I f*cking babysit birds.

- Eagly, please get in the car.
- (EAGLY SQUAWKS)

He's not listening.

Get back in the car and
crinkle a bag or something.

He'll think you have chips.

You gotta be f*cking kidding me.

Who the f*ck feeds their bird chips?

(HELMETS CLATTERING)

- (GRUNTS)
- (BAG THUDS)

(PANTS)

♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

- (WHITE HOODS CLAMORING)
- (SCREAMS)

You want some chips, huh? Yum, yum!

(WHITE HOODS SHOUTING)

(SCREAMS)

f*ck no.

(WHITE HOODS CLAMOR)

(ALL SHOUTING)

(GRUNTS)

(GROANS, GRUNTS)

(PEE TRICKLING)

- What are you doing?
- Shh! They're here.

Why the f*ck are your
pants all the way down?

Well, I can't pee when clothes
are touching my butt.

♪ (INTENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

- (EAGLY SCREECHES)
- (r*cist THUG GROANS)

- (GRUNTS)
- (WHITE HOODS GROAN)

(g*nshots)

- (EAGLY SCREECHES)
- (WHITE HOOD SCREAMS)

- (SCREECHES)
- (AUGGIE GRUNTS)

Eagly!

(GRUNTING)

(AUGGIE GROWLS)

(GROANS)

(GRUNTS)

- I'll k*ll you, m*therf*cker!
- AUGGIE: You think so?

(MACHINERY WHIRRING)

(GROANS)

AUGGIE: Forty years ago,
God challenged me

as he did Abraham.

But I was too weak to listen.


- But not no more!
- (GROANS)

- r*cist THUG: k*ll that piece of sh*t, Dragon!
- WHITE HOOD: Yeah!

- (WHITE HOODS CHEERING)
- AUGGIE: I knew you was unclean

when you were born!

And even more so when
you k*lled your brother.

- That was you! (SCREAMS)
- (BONES cr*ck)

SKINHEAD GIRL: Do it,
White Dragon! Do it!

AUGGIE: I knew when you listened
to that devil music.

I knew when you shaved
your body like a woman.

I knew when you slept with
the whores of polluted blood!

- And men!
- (WHITE HOODS CHEER)

AUGGIE: And even more so
when you conspired

with the forces of Baphomet

against the United States of America!

(CHEERING)

AUGGIE: And now, boy, I give your life

to Go... (SCREAMS)

There are gaps in the armor, man.

- (AUGGIE GROANS)
- (ELECTRICITY CRACKLES)

(AUGGIE YELLS)

- (SCREAMS)
- (g*nshots)

- (GRUNTS)
- (ARMOR WHIRRING)

(WEAPONS POWER DOWN)

(MACHINERY SPLUTTERING)

(GRUNTS)

You k*lled my brother!

- (AUGGIE GROANS)
- You k*lled Keith!

And you're only right about one thing,

I am a piece of sh*t!

I'm a piece of sh*t for listening to you

for all those years!

I'm a piece of sh*t for not
k*lling you in your sleep!

(LAUGHS) You hit like a girl.

♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

Well, go ahead and do it,
you f*cking p*ssy.

I knew you couldn't do it, you f*gg*t.

'Cause I control you.

Whether or not I k*ll you,
you'll never be able

- to get the f*ck away from m...
- (g*nsh*t)

♪ (MELANCHOLIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

(SOBS)

(CRYING)

Dude, this is a really weird
time to do your face exercises.

I mean, I guess you don't get
a totally sick, jacked face

like yours without dedication, but...

He's crying, assh*le.

Oh.

(CRYING CONTINUES)

Tender, nice touching.

- Hey, dude, that's creepy.
- Okay.

♪ (MELANCHOLIC MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪

No, no, nothing serious.
Just some... forms and stuff

I have to fill out before I leave.

Yeah. I love you too.

Let me.

♪ (MOODY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

(INHALES SHARPLY)

(GROANS)

What was your job before this?

I ran a dog shelter.

- Oh, Jesus.
- ADEBAYO: Yeah.

We lost funding. I think my mother saw

an opportunity in my moment of weakness.

She always wanted me to do this sh*t,

so she asked me, again,
to come work for her.

Said she needed someone on the inside

of a group of people she didn't trust.

- She doesn't trust anyone.
- Hell, I know.

Did you tell her about Murn?

I couldn't decide if I was going to.

I guess it doesn't matter now.

I could tell you were hiding something.

(SCOFFS) I could tell you could tell.

sh*t made me agitated.

Anyways... like I said,
I'm not made for this sh*t.

I'm not supposed to be here.
That's why I was packing up.

I just wanna do whatever job I need to

where telling right from wrong
ain't advanced calculus.

Well, that would be a shame.

Shame, why?

Because you're good at the job.

And because we need every hand on deck

to try to go k*ll this cow.

How? It's impossible.

We couldn't even get there in time.

- (CELLPHONE BUZZES)
- (GROANS)

(GROANS)

Hey, John.

♪ (HEAVY METAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

- Thank God you guys are here.
- What's going on?

Dr. Hurwitz kindly stitched up Eagly,

and Vigilante's being a total freak.

Dude, they saw us.
Peacemaker and I are wanted.

What other choice
do we have besides k*lling

this veterinarian, this nurse,
and this male nurse?

You can just say two nurses, man.

If I just say "nurse", I think people
will imagine it as a woman.

He's standing right there.

We don't have to imagine anything.

It must be weird waking up every day

- and being a male nurse.
- You're a f*cking busboy.

Oh, great! Now we definitely
have to k*ll them,

because you're giving away stuff
about my secret identity.

Do we really have to k*ll these people?

(GROANS SOFTLY)

No. We'll tie them up,

and by the time
the morning staff comes in,

- we'll be long gone.
- They've seen our faces.

If we can't stop the butterflies today,

- it won't matter.
- (CELLPHONE BUZZES)

VIGILANTE: Okay.

But we can't use duct tape.
That'll hurt their skin

- when they try to pull it off.
- HARCOURT: Where are you going?

Just to call my wife, tell
her I'm on my way back.

So, you're compassionate about tape

but not brutally murdering people?

Yes.

(PEACEMAKER SNIFFLES)

God, please bring back
my best pal, Eagly. (SNIFFLES)

♪ (SOFT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

And I never should've left him
in my father's garage

for four years when I went to prison.

(SNIFFLES) I should've found
somebody better

to take care of him.

Like an ugly girl
who was desperate for love,

who would've done anything
I wanted when I was locked up.

And, you know, I could've just
broke up with her

the moment I got out.

I probably wouldn't even
had to have sex with her, right?

Yeah, you know...

probably just once,
you know, to be nice.

And probably 'cause I was
getting out of prison,

I'd want to anyway, it wouldn't
have even been a chore.

(VOICE BREAKING) But I was selfish.

And I was a bad friend to Eagly.

The only one besides Keith
that ever loved me for real.

(SNIFFLES) Oh, f*ck.

(BREATHES DEEPLY)

Please, God...

I'll do anything you want. (SNIFFLES)

Just please, please...

keep Eagly alive.

- (SNIFFLES)
- (EAGLY CHIRPS)

(SCREECHES)

(CRIES) Buddy?

(EAGLY SQUAWKS)

♪ (TRIUMPHANT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

PEACEMAKER: You know,
he was so happy to see me today,


he wrapped his wings
around me to hug me.


- An eagle hugged you?
- Oh yeah.

Yeah, I call bullshit on that.

You don't want to believe
in miracles, that's on you.

(EAGLY PEEPING)

(CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS)

- KEEYA ADEBAYO: Lee, where are you?
- (SIGHS)

KEEYA: You said you were gonna
be here two hours ago.


Uh, babe, I just saw
an eagle hug a human.

KEEYA: With everything going on, what?

- Yeah.
- KEEYA: f*ck.

Maybe... maybe it's a sign.

KEEYA: A sign of what?

Hey, we should get a move
on k*lling this cow.

What about your wife?

Well, she's upset.
But she gets it... sort of.

Cool.

Okay, how do we do this without Murn?

Well, we have someone else
that we can trust to lead us.

- Me?
- No. f*ck, no.

♪ ("BY THE GRACE OF GOD"
BY THE HELLACOPTERS PLAYING) ♪

The butterflies breathe our air
and drink our water,

but our food sources
don't keep them alive.

So they had to transport
a creature from their planet

across the galaxy.

And now we know
they keep it in the cavern


below the barn on Coverdale ranch.

♪ Hey girl, you'll land it ♪

♪ You've got supplies
if they demand it... ♪


HARCOURT: There, they milk
the beast for the amber fluid.


To stop the butterflies,
all we have to do


is k*ll the cow. Without it,
they won't be able


to stay alive for more
than a couple of weeks.


However, they almost certainly
know that we're on our way

to do that now. Which means
they'll do what they can

to move the cow out before we get there.

How?

According to what Ads and
I overheard, teleportation.

♪ Yeah, they get by... ♪

HARCOURT: I'm guessing
they can move it to


one of their other enclaves
around the country,


which means, to us,
they will be lost forever,


and all of our work goes to waste.

Hopefully, we can make it there
before they make their move.

And then we go in there, and we kick ass

like Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.

ECONOMOS: They get slaughtered
at the end of that film.

Bro, there's a freeze-frame
and we hear a bunch of b*ll*ts.

- That doesn't mean they d*ed.
- ECONOMOS: Yes, it does.

I don't think so. I think
they jumped over those b*ll*ts

right after that freeze-frame.

Well, that's an exceedingly
optimistic interpretation.

Both things are equally possible.

ECONOMOS: No, they're not.

Well, whichever one you believe
says a lot about your character.

Yeah, about how insane you are.

(LAUGHS) Economos,

I love this back-and-forth
thing we have going.

It's not as deep as, like,
what Peacemaker and I have,

but it's f*cking cool.

(SCOFFS) Whatever the case... I'm in.

♪ ("BY THE GRACE OF GOD"
BY THE HELLACOPTERS CONTINUES) ♪

Hashtag MeToo.

I guess.

Yeah.

- f*ck, yeah.
- Let's do this sh*t.

- (g*n COCKS)
- No.

- I think you need to calm down.
- You can't come with us.

You sure you don't need the help?

- No, you'd just die.
- But we are gonna have to

sequester your vehicle out there.

♪ (MUSIC CONTINUES) ♪

♪ Yeah, they get by... ♪

♪ Oh ♪

Surprisingly nice people, considering.

Except for the guy in the blue.

Yeah, that dude's a f*cking mess.

♪ They need, they yearn
they lust with cheeks unturned ♪


- (SQUAWKS)
- Here you go, buddy.

♪ Hands will shake and heads will nod ♪

♪ They'll get by
by the grace of God... ♪


Chris...

I just wanted to say...

I know what I did.

And I'm sorry.

- I shouldn't have...
- Forget it. I don't give a f*ck.

You said we were a team.
That's obviously not the case.

I just can't wait till this is all over,

so I never have to see your
stupid, dumb face ever again.

♪ Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! ♪

♪ (MUSIC VOLUME INCREASES) ♪

(GROANS)

♪ Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! ♪

There's no wrong time to rock.

♪ Hey! Hey! Hey! ♪

♪ (SONG CONCLUDES) ♪

♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

(COW GROANING)

(GROANING)

(MACHINE WHIRRING)

(COW GROANING)

♪ ("SET THE NIGHT ON FIRE"
BY PRETTY BOY FLOYD PLAYING) ♪

♪ One, two, three, let's go ♪

♪ Rock and roll ♪

♪ It's Friday night
we're gonna hit the lights ♪


♪ It's you and me
we're gonna rock and roll ♪


♪ All night ♪

♪ It's Saturday and
there's just no way ♪


♪ We're gonna sit home alone ♪

♪ Well, oh, no ♪

♪ Let me take you one step higher ♪

♪ Rock and roll
is gonna set the night on fire ♪


♪ Rock and roll
is gonna set the night on fire ♪


♪ Yeah ♪

♪ We're the burning flames
too wild to tame ♪


♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah
we're gonna shock the world ♪


♪ All right ♪

♪ In Hollywood
wake up the neighborhood ♪


♪ All the boys and girls
they're gonna scream and shout ♪


♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪

♪ Let me take you one step higher ♪

♪ (SONG CONCLUDES) ♪

Cleanliness is next to godliness.

And God knows I'm close to Him.

- (CAMERA SHUTTERS CLICKING)
- Blood.

That's what you wanna see.

If you're not seeing any blood,

you're not scrubbing hard enough.

Clean your toes. Start at the bottom.

Work your way up.

Linger in the middle.

Keep going a little higher.

(AUDIENCE WHISPERING)

Swing the hips.

When you're drying, especially,

it's important to swing the hips.

And we're finished now.
Thank you very much.

Thank you for attending.
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