01x07 - Art Teacher

[bunniefuu]

And that's why Abbott
will always stay in my heart.

[CHUCKLES] Alright, I'll wrap this up.

You know how I can carry on. Right, Ava?

[LAUGHTER]

I know you can, girl.

Oh. [LAUGHS]

Barbara, thank you
for all your kindness.

Mel, all that you've done for me.

- I don't know how...
- Who is she again?

I do not know that woman's name.

No, I know this. I
know this. It's, uh...

Is she a gym teacher?

I don't really mess with gym teachers.

Their voices never match their faces.

[APPLAUSE]

♪ Ca-a-a-a-a-thy! ♪

[SQUEALS, CHUCKLES]

I cannot believe this
is your last day with us.

I mean, you have been the greatest

volunteer art teacher
this school has ever seen.

And look.

Bermuda shorts, because your favorite

vacation spot is Bermuda!

Well, how sweet.

Mm-hmm. Thank you!

- You're so welcome.
- Aww.

[CHUCKLES]

[WHISPERING] Barbara,
what is her name again?

♪♪

[DOOR OPENS]

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

[DOOR CLOSES]

- Janine.
- Yeah?

What's wrong with you?

You psyching yourself
up to be yourself today?

[CHUCKLES] No.

Today, my friend Sahar is starting.

So, when I heard we needed
a new volunteer art teacher,

I called my friend Sahar.

She's a successful local
artist, and she's so cool.

Check it out.

This is us in college when we first met.

[LAUGHS]

She never got wine stains on her teeth.

Ugh, God. Man, believe it or not,

I had a hard time
making friends back then.

[CHUCKLING] No.

Yeah, yeah, I know.

But Sahar really took
me outside of my box,

and, you know, I'm sure
she's gonna do the same thing

for the kids, and I don't know.

- If you think I'm cool...
- I don't.

- Janine's cool.
- Yes, thank you, Jacob.

She does puzzles, she knits.

Just thank you, thank you.

She wears orthopedics,
and she eats plums.

What is wrong with plums?

- I mean...
- They're not exactly the coolest fruit.

- You know what's a cool fruit?
- Mm.

- Kiwi.
- Exactly.

Mm. Oh.

Janine! [GASPS]

Oh, my God, Sahar!

BOTH: Mwah, mwah.

Oh, she French?

Good morning, everyone. I'm Sahar.

So, you used to hang out with Janine?

Was it some kind of big sister thing

or some kind of Make-A-Wish for people

who are dying of embarrassment?

[LAUGHS]

That is Ava. She's funny.

Well, I'm so excited to be here.

I cannot wait to collaborate.

Okay, let me go show
you around. Come on.

Pulling off overalls? That's not easy.

I'm telling you, Twitch
is more popular than TV.

More people are actually
watching Twitch than...

Jacob, I am trying to
oversee nutrition here.

Oh, yeah, no, of course. Sorry.

What about you, Devin?
Who's your favorite streamer?

I'm busy, Caillou.

[CHUCKLES] Classic Devin.

I can't believe this is what
they're serving the children.

BOTH: Mm-mm-mm.

Budget cuts. And it
gets worse every year.

[EXHALES SHARPLY]

Are there even any
vegetables in these meals?

Yeah. We got sprouts flown in

from Brussels every morning.

No use getting frustrated with him.

They're just like us... doing
the best with what they got.

I saw a NowThis video
about some teachers in Kentucky

who built a vegetable
garden at their school.

We could do something
like that here, I bet.

- We?
- ♪ Jacob and Barbara ♪

♪ The ultimate dream team ♪

[LAUGHS] Jacob, stuff
like that won't work here.

But... But it's worked in other schools.

And... And the great part is
it would help the kids,

but also we'd get to be gardening,

which is like the best thing ever.

Now, that I will agree with.

Oh, my God, are we doing this?

I cannot believe that I'm
about ready to say this,

but, Jacob, let's do this.

[SCREAMS]

MELISSA: I know they're not assigned.

We all understand who parks where,

and you parked in my understood spot.

You understand?

Oh, um, she... she understands.

She got it.

Yeah, I totally... I... I'm really sorry.

It won't happen again. I'm just...

I'm still getting used to
the way the place works.

It's all good. That's in the past.

Not what I came to talk about anyway.

Well, it's what you started with.

I'm joking.

So, what I came to
talk about is this year's

Peter Rabbit project, which...

[GASPS] Oh, oh, oh, it's so great.

You know, every year, both
our classes read "Peter Rabbit,"

and then, with the art teacher,

the kids make their own versions
of Peter with paper plates.

It's the big art project
of the second grade.

It's great. And this year...

- Mm-hmm?
- ... there's a surprise.

[GASPS]

Oh, my goodness.

Are these new?!

You tell me.

Okay, um... No chocolate stains.

No mildew.

Look at this binding tension.

Oh!

How did you get these?

I bought them.

With your own money? No favors?

All me.

Oh, yeah, I've been doing
this project for years.

It's the first thing I did
that the kids really loved.

Um...

This one was from my first year.

It's Styrofoam.

I get they're bad for the environment,

but you try floating pigs in a blanket

across a hot tub on a paper plate.

- It's legendary.
- Yeah, you're gonna love it.

We can talk logistics later.

Awesome! Can't wait!

[SQUEALS] This project
is right up your alley.

Are we sure Peter
Rabbit is the way to go?

- Oop?
- I just wonder if there's maybe

a more relevant story?

Well, Melissa just got
all those new copies.

Sahar?

I've got it, and I love it.

- Oh.
- We're gonna elevate the story.

Delve deep beneath the
surface of "Peter Rabbit"

and uncover the metaphors
hidden in the story.

Oh. Yes. Totally.

Yes. I mean, most
people just think of it

as this story about a rabbit
who steals carrots.

But we're not like most people.
We see subtext.

It's a story about
domesticity and capitalism.

Exactly. That's what I've always said.

[CHUCKLES] Just wait for me

before you talk to Melissa.

Of course.

This is classic Janine and Sahar.

I mean, being her
friend is so exciting.

We are just doing a ton
of cool stuff all the time,

like going to a party
at Tierra Whack's house,

which she got to go.

I actually... I stood outside

and, um, I just listened
because I couldn't get in.

It all sounded so fun.

Everyone was having
a really good time.

[SIREN WAILS IN DISTANCE]

Jacob.

[LAUGHS]

Well, would you look at us?

Well, you have fine taste, Mr. Hill.

- As do you.
- Mm.

You know, the origin of sun hats
is an interesting...

Why don't we just put on some music?

- Absolutely.
- Mm-hmm.

[BOSSA NOVA JAZZ PLAYS]

Is that bossa nova?

Yeah. I can change it if you want.

No, no.

I love it.

Great.

There you are.

Thank you.

I, uh... I bought some
pre-sprouted plants

to expedite the process.

I thought we could
have a space for veggies

and one for fruits.

Well, you know, I thought
it might also be nice

if we had a section for flowers too.

Ah. One step ahead of ya.

Lilies!

Like my favorite movie,
"Lilies of the Field."

Ah! You know what?

They just don't make men
like Sidney Poitier anymore.

They... They don't.

They most certainly do not.

[BOTH LAUGH]

Hey, y'all. What's happening here?

Jacob and I are starting a garden

to grow some vegetables
for the students.

Oh, wow. That's really cool.

We got an extra pair
of gloves if you want in.

No, thanks, I'm good.
I mean, I appreciate it, though.

Just the opposite of
green thumbs over here.

In the ' s, my grandfather
started a landscaping business,

Eddie Lawn & Care.

Then, in the ' s,
my father took it over.

Then, for the first years of my life,

I spent every single summer "vacation"

planting, mowing, and raking.

I cannot stand gardening.

You don't want to over water that one.

From what I've heard.

Amaya, you are in Jupiter's group.

Stop hoarding Saturn's rings.

MELISSA: What do you
mean by old? Old how?

Like, I'm old or it's old-fashioned?

- What... What old?
- SAHAR: No, no.

The project is just a little elementary.

Of course it's elementary!

- This is an elementary school!
- Okay, I misspoke.

I shouldn't have said
"elementary." I'm sorry.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Whoa. What's going on?

Little miss MoMA over here

thinks a beloved tradition
is too "elementary"

for second graders, so she wants to do

some installation
in the library instead.

I don't not want to
do your project.

I just... You know, Janine
and I were talking earlier today.

Oh, oh, oh, you're in on this, too?

Mm-mm, let's all just take a deep breath

and ask ourselves...

We want to elevate the project.

Could you stop saying "we"?

Okay, we're doing the bunny plates

like we've always done,

and that's the end of the discussion.

Janine, get your girl
and tell her to watch out

because you don't know
who you're messing with.

[DOOR OPENS, SLAMS SHUT]

Okay, so, um, what I got from that

is you should watch out

and you don't know
who you're messing with.

Mm. Uh...

I am so sorry that got so intense,

but that's why I wanted
you to wait for me

to talk to Melissa with you.

No apology necessary.
At least she's passionate.

True, true.

But still, I'm sorry your
art-installation project

got shut down.

Oh, we're gonna do the installation.

Since when have we let one "no" stop us?

A "no" from Melissa

is like a thousand "no's"
from anybody else.

Melissa's gonna love the installation.

She just doesn't know it yet

'cause she doesn't think like us.

- We're wired different.
- Totally, totally.

I think it's "wired differently," but...

What happened to the
Janine who was hopping

over turnstiles last year
to protest minimum wage

- for transit workers?
- Actually, I did pay

'cause I couldn't get over the turnstile

and that's how they get paid,

so it wasn't making sense as a protest.

Let me ask you this question.

Did you take this job
so that you could be part

of the system

or because you wanted to inspire...

- What's your name?
- Bria.

... students like Bria and her friends

to be the next generation
of free thinkers?

You're good.

You know how to get me fired up.

Ha! But still, we can't use the library

without Melissa's co-sign.

I mean, it's her project.

What did we do in college when
the TAs gave us unfair grades?

- Cry and accept it?
- Flirt with the professor.

No, I-I... You did that?

All I'm saying is, we just got
to go over Melissa's head.

JANINE: She is so right.

Sometimes I forget
why I got into this job,

but Sahar reminded me in a way

where I didn't even
know it was happening.

Just like boom!

So cool. [CHUCKLES]

Actually, you know,
it was my grandmother

that fostered my love of gardening.

And mischief.

[LAUGHS]

I'm dead. I am dead.

- [BOTH CHUCKLE]
- Barbara. [GASPS]

Oh! Ooh!

Great work, buddy!

Aww!

Let's get this little guy inside.

[TRUNK CLOSES]

Crap.

Jacob and Barbara have no idea
what they're doing.

He was trying to plant a coconut
in West Philadelphia

in soil with a sub- . pH.

Bruh!

Devin, my guy, look at this.

What do you suits want? What's that for?

Eating. [CHUCKLES]

It's a zucchini.

I know what a zucchini is, man.

What do you want me to do with it?

We are growing vegetables
for the kids in our new garden.

We birthed this.

Oh, you birthed it?

Let me... Can I? Let me see.

Oh, look, you birthed it.

The baby!

[LAUGHTER]

Look at the little baby!

- Baby Sidney!
- The disrespect!

What am I supposed to do
with a twerp squash?

Feed half a kid? Come on, man.

Of course not. That was just
a sample of what's to come.

Once these plants start blooming,

we're gonna be swimming in squash.

And then what? We prepare them?

We do not have time.
We're barely getting by as is.

Y'all can make-believe on your own time.

So, not the reaction I was hoping for.

Devin's right.

- We're being foolish.
- Barbara!

I cannot believe that
I let myself get carried away.

Projects like this,

they do not work in public schools.

[GASPS]

I pulled a Janine.

I still think there's a way to make...

Mnh-mnh!

- Mnh!
- It... work.

There's gotta be a
solution here, you know?

[CHUCKLES] Because, you know,

if I have to go into that garden
without my girl Barbara...

Sorry. [CHUCKLES]

Hey, Ava.

What do you think of these?

Oh, wow, those are fun.

Not you, Carlton. I was asking Sahar.

I agree with Janine.
I think they're so fun.

You have really good taste.

So, Ava, we have a
little favor to ask you.

[KEYS CLACKING]

She not hear me?

You know, Ava...

When I was doing Ayahuasca in Peru,

I was visited by an Earth goddess

who had the exact same
energy profile as you.

It was beautiful.

Girl, don't you throw up
and poop your pants on that?

[LAUGHS]

You're funny. [LAUGHS]

Janine and I are wondering
if we could use the library

for a little installation
we're planning.

- Like an art show?
- Kind of.

- It's for the kids.
- Mm-hmm.

It's sort of an elevated
version of Melissa's idea.

Oh, elevated? Hell yeah,
you got my okay on that.

- Great.
- Darling!

[CHUCKLES] Well, have a great day, Ava.

Don't tell me what kind of day to have.

Getting all presumptuous and rude.

Hey, Ava.

I hope today shimmers for you.

You know what, Sahar? I think it will.

[CHUCKLES]

Oh, got a little schmutz there.

Oh, a, uh... a kid sneezed on me.

Morning, everyone! Barbara, look!

Zucchini!

Washed, grilled, ready to eat.

There's no way all that
zucchini came from your garden.

- I assume.
- Assume correctly you did, Gregory,

because I went to the farmers market.

I bought a ton of zucchini

and basically stayed up
all night preparing it.

Did you guys know
you're supposed to dilute

cold brew concentrate with water?

I didn't.

Can't really feel my toes.

So, you stayed up all
night preparing this?

I did. Devin said they didn't
have time to do it, so I did it.

Jacob.

I am really impressed.

Ooh!

You did a real...

BOTH: "Go, Man, Go!"

[LAUGHS] Yes!

What the hell is happening?

There's more in my car.

Melissa, I think you're going to love

what the kids and I have created.

There better be paper-plate bunnies.

Oh, there are definitely
paper-plate bunnies.

[WHISPERING] There are
paper-plate bunnies, right?

There are paper-plate bunnies.

And more than that, there's passion.

Let the experience begin.

[GASPS]

Wow!

Guys, this is just great work!

- Great work!
- Oh, my goodness!

Wow, these look so good.

[LAUGHS] Oh, my gosh.

We all worked very hard on our bunnies,

so we thought it was only
right to give them a home.

- Oh, wow, Sahar!
- Oh, my gosh.

I don't usually explain
my art to other people,

and I'm sure you already totally get it.

Yeah, no, couldn't be clearer.

Sahar, I got to hand it to you,
this is wonderful.

SAHAR: My thesis was
to break societal norms

by creating and destroying all at once,

using what held us back
to propel us forward.

Yeah, I mean, that's
how you got to do it.

[CHUCKLES]

Sahar. Mm- hmm?

What is this garden made of?

Oh, that's the best part.

It's made out of the
"Peter Rabbit" books.

Niecy.

- Yeah, it'll work.
- For what?

To brutally bludgeon your friend.

Why are you reacting this way?

The project was gorgeous.

Sahar, you ruined the books she bought.

- Mm-hmm.
- You all don't understand.

The whole project was
about pushing boundaries.

How about I push the boundaries
of your head with this book?!

No!

Alright.

[EXHALES SHARPLY]

Sahar, this project was about the kids

practicing their fine motor skills

in a creative way.

You took this way too far.

There's no such thing.

And we can just get
more books. It's not hard.

It is hard, actually.

Then I'll use some of my
money to create a personal grant

so that the school can
get more relevant books

than "Peter Rabbit."

What is your problem
with "Peter Rabbit"?

It's just been done.

It's done for a reason.

Are there even any
bunnies of color in it?

The kids like it, okay?

Just because a bunch
of people like something

doesn't make it bad.

Ehhh.

Sahar, we owe Melissa an apology.

Wow. I knew it.

- I knew you were one of them.
- One of who?

A conductor of
mediocrity and conformity.

You know, I thought
it was so cool

that you worked in an
underprivileged school,

but now I see that you don't even care

about inspiring the kids.

You know what? I hate to say it,

but I think you're a
conventional thinker.

You know what? You can get out.

[CHUCKLES]

Actually, Janine, I'm gonna go.

And, by the way, I lied.

You are swimming in that sweater.

Yeah, well,

your real name is Sarah!

I saw it in your birth
certificate collage!

- Just don't.
- Did the art show start?

Did I miss the step and repeat?

Melissa, I had no idea
she was gonna do that.

I am so s...

No, don't you dare apologize.
I'm proud of you.

You did the right thing
kicking that wannabe Zoe Kravitz

- out of here.
- You kicked Sahar out?!

Aw, man, Janine! What's her handle?

I have no idea why you were
friends with her to begin with.

Look, I mean, without Sahar,

college wouldn't have been fun for me.

She made me feel like I fit in
somewhere being myself.

She made being an outcast cool.

Being a real person is
more important than being cool.

And you're a real person.

Who owes me copies of "Peter
Rabbit" before next year.

Okay, if you guys are finished
with this very special episode,

Janine, can you sh**t me Sahar's number?

I'm tryin' to go out this weekend.

Just what I need...
a man who wears used pants

bringing me a tray of pickles.

Devin, Jacob stayed up all night long

preparing this zucchini
for the children's lunches.

We realize how difficult
your day must be.

- Mm.
- You work under stressful conditions

and you still provide
for hundreds of kids a day.

And I am sorry for insulting your food.

I am sure it's... great.

I appreciate that, and it is great.

- You should try some.
- Oh, I have.

No, not with this new microwave we got.

These things is piping
hot. Go ahead, give it a try.

Yeah.

[LAUGHS NERVOUSLY]

Yeah? Yeah.

Mmm. Tater tots.

Oh, that's a chicken nugget.

Oh.

Anyways, here it is, all ready to serve.

Oh, yep.

[GRUNTS] Ooh.

That's a health-code violation.

I can't be serving food
y'all made at home.

Go ahead, get some more nuggets.

How'd you get those?

I think the what is more
important than the how here.

I obviously could not afford
to buy the books myself,

so I had to get creative.

So, what you see here is a commentary

on both domesticity and capitalism.

Uh, as well as socialism and sexism.

If you think about it for a second,

carrot... or not,

it's up to the eye of the beholder

of the person who has the eye.

I reached out to some art collectors

who notoriously have money to burn.

I sold the art installation
and had enough money

to replace the books.

Pretty cool.

Oh, why would you put that together?

Power clashing.

Okay.

Okay, you are gonna flip
when you see. Go.

Oh!

It's breathtaking!

It's like our own little Pandora.

You know how like in "Avatar" when...

No.

It's okay. I guess we don't have to like

all the same things all the time.

[CLANK]

[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]

Oh. Oh, uh, let's go.

Yes!

[SIGHS]

[EXHALES SHARPLY]

Oh, they were absolutely
k*lling everything.

I don't think a single seed
would have survived.

I couldn't just sit there
and watch that.

It's like my dad always said.

"A real man doesn't
ignore the root of the problem.

Now pick that hoe up!"

I hate gardening so much.