04x12 - Fonzie's Old Lady

[bunniefuu]

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday,
happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ The weekend comes,
my cycle hums ♪

♪ Ready to race to you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

♪ Good-bye, gray sky,
hello, blue ♪

♪ There's nothing can hold me
when I hold you ♪

♪ It feels so right
it can't be wrong ♪

♪ Rocking and rolling
all week long ♪

(organ solo plays
over rhythmic handclaps)

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday,
happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ Saturday, what a day ♪

♪ Groovin' all week with you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

♪ These happy days ♪

♪ Are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are yours ♪

♪ And mine , Happy Days! ♪

Happy Days is filmed
before a studio audience.

♪ And plus she's got
a great big heart... ♪

All right, listen, Al,

you gotta-gotta do me
a favor, all right?
Sure.

There's a lady gonna come
looking for me a little later.

They're all
looking for you.

No, no, no,

this ain't a Fonzie chick,
all right?

This is your basic
little old lady, huh?

She gonna stay
for dinner?

I could heat up
something nice...

She is not staying
for dinner, Al.

I fixed her car,
she's picking it up, huh?

You'll let her
know I'm here?

Hey, hey, Fonz,

you're just
in time.

Want to go with us and see
a college recruiting film?

Now why would I want to go see
a college recruiting film?

Oh hey, Fonz, it's the
University of Hawaii.

When I want Hawaii,

I take out the Aloha
Pussycats.

That's good
Hawaii, yeah.
That's Hawaii.
Very good Hawaii.

Aloha.
Yeah.
All right, Fonz,
see ya.

All right,
let's make it fast.

I want to get
front row seats.

Ralph, I'm not sitting
next to you

if you're gonna make the bunny
shadows on the screen.

They're not bunnies,
they're ducks.

Oh, excuse me,
pardon me,
Oh.

I'm sorry...
No, I'm sorry.

It's my fault,
I was, uh,

carried away by that
delicious aroma.

Oh, that's
parmigiana.
Oh.

It's my mother's
own recipe.

Bellissima.

Oh, grazie.

Could you help me?

I'm looking for, um,
an Arthur Fonzarelli.

He told me to
watch for you.

This way.
Thank you.

I'm Al.

Hi, Al.

Uh, this is
my restaurant.

Very nice place.

I own it.

Oh, this is
Mr. Fonzarelli.

I have to get back
to my kitchen now.

Little old lady,
huh?

Little old lady?

Oh yeah, yeah,
see look,

I told Al that I was
waiting for this lady

that dropped
off the car.

You're not
a little old lady.

I would remember you.

That was my Aunt Grace.

Yeah, cranky little
old lady, huh?

Yeah.

I'm Adriana Prescott.

Fonzie.

Hi, Fonzie.
Hey.

Uh, were you able to fix my car?

Hey, I can fix anything that
starts with a key and goes...

(growls)

Ah, well, good.

Uh, may I sit down?

Oh, yeah,
plant yourself.

Thank you.

I'm exhausted.

It's just been an
incredible day.

First my car
breaks down,

and my tennis
racket splits...

No kidding.

No kidding,

and then my poodle gets
a tick in the park.

Do you believe it? Have you
ever had a day like that?

No, my poodle hates the park,

loves the opera, though.

That's funny.

Thank you.
Excuse me,

I thought you might want

to try just a small taste
of my parmigiana.

A small taste, Al?

It's an Italian
taste.
Oh.

Mmm.

Mmm, it's delicioso!

Grazie.

(speaking Italian)

Prego.

FONZIE:
Hey, Al?

Scramola.

Mmm.

My father liked cars, too.

Yeah, he's a man
after my own heart.

In fact, in ,

he had a car
in the Indianapolis .

Your father had a car
in Indianapolis ?

Mm-hmm, I mean, it blew
an engine after four laps.

Well, what difference
does it make?

At least he was there!

I mean, I remember
that race, you know?

Who-who won
that race?

Oh.

Hey, girls, knock
yourselves out,

I'm really sorry, it was
a slip of the fingers,

slip of
the fingers.
Aw.

I love you,
I love you.

I'll call you a little
later, all right?

Aaayyh!

You just...

you just do that and they...

Hey, say, that's
a nice trick.

Oh, it ain't no trick,
it's a gift.

Well, don't ever give it back.

Oh, I won't.

You're fascinating.

Yeah?
Yeah.

Tell me about yourself.

Well, there's not much to tell,

I am the best mechanic
in a large, Midwestern city.

You must have other interests.

Aaayyh!

Well, uh, I think
I better be going.

Thank you for
fixing my car.

Oh, yeah.

Listen, you have any more
problems with that car,

you just let me know,
I'll give it the magic touch.

I'll do that.

Yeah, you do that.

Ah, if you're ever
by the, uh,

Valley Vista
Tennis Club,

why don't you stop
in and say hello?

The Valley Vista
Tennis Club...

I sure will.

Good.

You do play tennis,
don't you?

Hey, like a pro.

How about tomorrow
afternoon, doubles?

Doubles, triples,
whatever you want.

You're cute.

See you tomorrow.

MARION:
Don't worry, Arthur.

No, it's gonna
be all right,

'cause Richard is gonna go
to the club with you.

Yeah, I know, but just
for moral support.

Now look, Mrs. C.,
I got minutes.

Will you teach me
everything I can
know here?

Arthur, the first thing
to remember about tennis

is it's a game of patience
and politeness.

Yeah, right.

Now, uh, Richard will
be down in a minute,

and remember...
patience...

and politeness.

I remember.
Yes.

Now, what would you like
to learn first?

You want to learn
the forehand,

or the backhand...

Mrs. C, I don't
care...
I'll teach you
to serve...

Yeah, that's good,
I got it.

Look, I-I don't know if
I can do this Mrs. C.

Oh, yes, you can do it.

Now the way to learn
something is to do it.

Mrs. C., I learned some of
my best stuff that way.

Okay, Fonz, ready to go.

Oh, Richard, good,
you and Joanie,

I need you to help me
in this demonstration

of the teamwork
of doubles.

Here are your rackets,
dear.

No.

No, I-I can't play
with this.

I can't play
with a flyswatter.

I'm better
with a spatula.

This is silly.
Oh, you want
the spatula?

JOANIE:
No.

I'm losing my
patience.

Children, get into
your positions,

Arthur, you will serve.

All right.
Here?

No, no, Arthur,

that's-that's
ping-pong.

It's...

I know that.

All right, all right, all right,
you look very silly.

All right, all right,
all right.

You ready for this?
Right.
Right.

All right,
watch yourself here.

Rush to the net!

What net?
The sofa.

The sofa.
Oh, oh, yeah,

all right.
Right,
and I return it!

Now, let's
go back!
I was just
back there.

Move it!

What happened
to your politeness?

Oh, I'm sorry.

Yes, polite, polite.

Now, forehand.

RICHIE:
Backhand.

MARION:
And backhand.
JOANIE:
And volley it.

And lob.

Oh, it's a lob,
it's a lob!

I got it, I got!
Can...

can I smash it, Mom?

Don't hit the lamp.

Okay, all right,
I'm gonna smash it!

All right, watch this!

JOANIE:
Oh.

Not even gonna try
and return it, huh, Fonz?

Why should I?
It was out.

How could he possibly
call that?

It was on the line.

I don't argue
with children.
See?

You really got it,
that was wonderful.

Thank you.

I saw it,
it was out.

Well, Howard,

we were just playing a
make-believe point here.

Oh really, Marion?

That's funny, I thought you were
ganging up on a fly.

Yeah.

Good one, Dad.

Look, the game is
over, folks.

This tired, working man
is gonna sit down

right in the middle
of your court.

I'm sorry.
Excuse me.

We're gonna have
to get going, Fonz.

Yeah, you're right.
Oh, you're gonna
do just fine.

I bet you win the
set six-love.

Love?
Oh, that's right,

I forgot to teach
you about love.

Whoa, Mrs. C!

Fonzie, love is a term
of scoring in tennis.

Oh, yeah?

Scoring... love.

I think I'm gonna
like this game.

Ho, Richard.

Oh.

How do you think
he'll do, Richard?

He's in big trouble
if they use a real ball.

Okay, Fonz,
we can eat in here.

Why didn't you tell me

that you get so tired
playing this game?

I mean, how come I do
all the running?

Well, you would've
run a lot less

if you let her hit the ball
occasionally.

I was being polite, like
your mother told me,

I was being
polite.
Right.

Hey, hey, hey, let me
ask you a question.

Is it all right
if we sit here?

Thank you so much
for all your warmth.

Look at this, they
don't even clean up.

I hope I didn't hurt
that Douglas guy.

Well, uh,

he seems like he's still
a little upset.

I should have told you
about that custom.

Yeah, I think you should, right.

When he was coming
over that net,

I thought he was on the att*ck.

Yeah.

You practically
slugged him over

to the other side again.

I didn't mean to do that.

Hey Richie?
Guess what?

In spite of old Sexy Legs,

they still want
to fix you up

with their daughter,
Millicent.

Oh, blind date,
huh?

Yeah, I-I'm not too good
on blind dates.

Okay.

I'll just make up
some excuse.

Hi, Millicent.

(singing):
♪ I found my thrill... ♪

Fonzie, tell me,
really the truth.

This was the first time
you played tennis, right?

Could you tell?

Not really.

No, you did
real good.

Yeah, listen, uh,

there is one thing
I gotta know.

Did we win?

We lost, six-love.

Were we the love?

(hitting piano keys)

Oh, oh, hello, hello,

just asking for
requests here.

You play the piano?

Yeah, like I
play tennis.

You play the piano?

Well, I've had a lot
of piano lessons,

a lot of singing lessons,
and I'm still tone deaf.

Well, why don't you
give me the, uh,

fruits of your
training here.

(singing):
♪ Are the stars
out tonight... ♪

Hey, you're good.

♪ I don't know
if it's cloudy or bright... ♪

Me neither.

♪ 'Cause I only
have eyes ♪

♪ For you... dear ♪

Can you believe that?

Well, don't get upset.

One for you,
one for me.

♪ La, la-la,
la, la, la-la ♪

♪ La-la, la-la, la-la-la. ♪

All right,
come on, tell me.

What's the real reason
you want to go

to the University of Hawaii?

They have a terrific
Journalism Department.

Oh, yes!

They have terrific weather,

and they have terrific girls
on terrific beaches,

and you'll probably
end up majoring

in a terrific course of surfing.

Do you think I could make
a living at it?

Hey, guys,
I saw your lights on.

I figured I'd pop in.
Fonzie.

Oh, hi, Fonz.
Hey, the last time
I saw you, you were, uh,

♪ Finding your thrill
on Blueberry Hill. ♪

I hear your tennis
went very well.

All right, look,
just because she's
an older woman,

you don't have to make
such a big deal out
of this, Mr. C.

What?

Oh, I know you were
talking about me.

No, we weren't, Fonz.

We were talking about
the University of Hawaii.

You can't kid me, Red.

My ears were burning.

You know what they say.

Fonzie, I think maybe you and I
ought to have a little talk.

I'll tell you something.

Look, I don't care how
old she is, I don't care.

She is a groovy chick.

Period, end of convo.

Look, I'm not talking about age.

It's just that the two of you

come from such completely
different worlds.

Look, tell him.

I did fine today
at the club, right?

I played some tennis,

played a little piano...

Decked a man.
You told him.

Oh, it, it
made him laugh.

It made me laugh.

But that's not funny.

Look, you can get
along in any set.

Yeah, true.

But how do you know
that that lady

can get along in your world?

All right, all right--
why don't you try

taking her to the
spring dance?

At Arnold's?

Why not? Then at least
you'd find out

whether she's comfortable
or not.

I'll take her to this dance

just to show you guys
that she is incredible.

All right,
just do me a favor.

Stop talking about me.

My ears can't take it
any longer.

So what do
you think, Dad?

Aaayyh!

(wolf whistles)

Wow, look at that
beautiful lady

in the grass skirt.

Yeah. And she's the dean.

♪ ♪

♪ Could have left home
at a quarter to : ♪

♪ Would have had fun
and plenty of time ♪

♪ But we got started
just a little bit late ♪

♪ I hope this won't be
our last date, look up ♪

♪ Looks like the sun to me,
well, it's late ♪

♪ I know he's gonna be mad ♪

♪ We got to get on home,
it's late ♪

♪ Too long. ♪

(applause)

We are really hot tonight.
Let's keep cooking!

Hey, uh, just before
you start cooking,

let me introduce you
to Adriana Prescott here.

Oh, it's an honor
to meet you, ma'am.

It's nice to meet you.

Oh, hey, Adriana,
we already met.

My name's Potsie.

You get gas in my
father's station. Hi.

Hi. I didn't know
Mr. Weber had a son.

He doesn't tell anyone.

Guys, guys, listen.

Where's the music?

You got to keep
them dancing,

and they get thirsty,
and they-- Adriana.

Oh, Alfredo, buono sera.

You came to try my
veal cutlets, right?

Si, ma pui tardo.

She means later.

That's right, Al.

She must be Italian.

(cymbals crash)
All right,
let's dance here.

My feet feel
like a little motion.

Yeah, right, Fonz.

Rich, I've got to talk
to you about something.

You'll go later.

Maybe we should
play something she
can keep up with.

Yeah.
Yeah.

I got it, I got it.

Uh, how about
"Clementine"?

"Clementine"?
Yeah.

Oh, don't you know
anything more hip?

How about uh,
"Splish Splash"?

Do we know
"Splish Splash"?

One, two,
one, two, three.

♪ Splish splash
I was taking a bath ♪

♪ Along about
a Saturday night ♪

♪ Rub a dub
just relaxing in the tub ♪

♪ Thinking everything
was all right ♪

♪ Well, I stepped out the tub ♪

♪ Put my feet on the floor ♪

♪ Wrapped my towel
around me ♪

♪ And I opened the door ♪

♪ I was a-movin'
and a-groovin', yay ♪

♪ I was a-splishing
and a-splashing ♪

♪ I was a-rollin'
and a-strollin' ♪

♪ Movin' and a-groovin' ♪

♪ Splish, splash, yeah. ♪

(applause)

Great!
Yeah.

You are really
the coolest.

ADRIANA:
Thank you.

And now I'm going
to powder my nose.

That was great, the way you
moved and danced...

Rich, I've got to talk
to you a second, okay?

What?
Uh...

Adriana's married.

Did you fall off
your bicycle again?

Yeah, but that has
nothing to do with it.

My father sends all her
bills to a Mr. Prescott.

Oh.

Well, just don't say
anything to anybody.

Okay.

Hi, Fonz.

Hey, she was
pretty good, huh?

Oh, yeah.
Yeah, didn't I tell you?

S-she's something else.

Fonz, uh, while we're
on the subject of Adriana,

uh... did you know that...

there's a Mr. Prescott?

Oh, there's probably several.

She comes
from a very large family.

Well, uh, this Mr. Prescott...

pays her gas bills.

Could be her father.

Could be her husband.

Hey, hey--
let me ask you a question.

Did you ever see
a ring on her finger?
No.

All right,
what does that mean to you?

She, uh...

She lost it?

Wrong.

It means she ain't married.

Okay, Fonz, if you say so.

That's right, I say so.

Hi.
Hi.

That was really good,
the way you danced.

Thank you.

I'm going to get back
to the band.

Yeah, you better do that.

Want to dance?

No, I feel like
sitting here and talking

for just a minute,
all right?

Okay.
Yeah.

What do you want
to talk about?

Well, let's start
with Mr. Prescott.

What would you
like to know?

I'd like to know
if he's your father.

No, Mr. Prescott
is my husband.

Well, then, I'd like to know
if he is your late husband.

No, Mr. Prescott
is very much alive.

Well, then I'd like to know

if he is your
divorced husband.

No.

This is my last sh*t.

Separated?

Yes.

Yeah.
(chuckles)

I'll tell you something.

You had me going there
for a minute, you know?

Well, my husband
is , miles away

trying to buy some
oil field or something.

You see, Fonzie,
we have, um...

we have an understanding.

He doesn't tell
and I don't tell.

I call that separated,
wouldn't you?

Whoa, I call that apart.

Well, don't let it bother you.

You're making too much
out of it.

Hey, let me tell you something.

You know, I really like you.

I mean, you're different

from any woman
I've ever known.

For one, you don't giggle.

But, uh...

I got some rules that I live by,
you understand?

And one of them is that I don't
take what ain't mine,

especially wives.

You're serious?

Oh, yeah, I'm serious.

I'd like to talk about it.

I don't see anything
to talk about.

And dig it:
I ain't judging you.

You understand?

But I got my rules, and that's
the way I live my life.

Well, I understand that, and I
also had a similar set of rules,

but as I got older,
I sort of bent them a little.

Whatever.

Why didn't you tell me
that you were married?

You didn't ask.

All right, I didn't ask.

Is that all that's
bothering you?

Fonzie, I...

I think I'm a little different,

and I thought you
were a little different, too.

That's why I never

thought it mattered.

It matters.

I can see that.

I'm sorry,
because I really like you.

I like you, too.

Uh...

I'll just see
myself out.

You're an interesting man.

Yeah?
Yeah.

Promise me you'll
still fix my car?

Oh, yeah, as long
as Aunt Grace picks it up.

I'm glad we met.

I'm very glad we met, too.

Veal Cutlets
Parmigiana for two.

For one.

Bye, Al.

Al, he'll eat
this later.

Women...

Oh, she's married.

She don't wear a ring.

They got an understanding.

We're done.

I... I'm sorry.

Not as much as me, Red.

But listen, you know
what they always say.

It is always darkest
in the middle of the night.

Yeah, I'm going
to remember that.

Yeah, I hope you do.

Are you leaving now, Fonz?

Hey, what are you, crazy?

Look around this place.

Don't crowd,
don't crowd.

Come here.

Oh, just wait
your turn girls,

just wait your turn;
it's all coming.

("Splish Splash" resumes)

♪ Yeah, I was a-movin'
and a-groovin' ♪

♪ I was a-reelin'
with a feelin' ♪

♪ I was a-rollin'
and a-strollin', yeah ♪

♪ I was a-splishin'
and a-splashin' ♪

♪ I was a-rollin'
and a-strollin' ♪

♪ Movin' and a-groovin' ♪

♪ Splish, splash, yeah. ♪

I can't believe how
you messed up my game!

Well, you should've stayed
on your side of the court.

What do you think
those white lines are for?

Parking spaces?

(Fonzie and Richie chuckle)

Top that one.

Boy, what a game!

We really b*at you two.

Boy, did we skunk
you guys, huh?

Now we know who the athletes
in this family are.

Well, we just had
an off day, that's all.

Oh, sure, sure.
FONZIE:
Now, wait a minute.

Wait a minute,
let's be honest here.

You all played very fair.

I believe you were
outclassed by yours truly.

You didn't even play.

Well, I guess you missed me

up in the bleachers
with Loretta.

Is that what all that
cheering was about?

Hey, you bet, Red.

Let me tell you something.

That is still one of America's
favorite pastimes... whoa.

Well, I feel like
I could play another set.

How about you, Howard?

At least,
maybe even a couple.

I don't believe it.

I'm going upstairs and pass out.

Yeah, well don't
do it on the stairs.

I don't think
I can step over you.

Have they gone?
Yeah.

Oh, God, oh...

I can't get the racket
off my shoulder.

♪ These days are ours ♪

♪ These happy days are yours
and mine , Happy Days. ♪

♪ Good-bye, gray sky,
hello, blue ♪

♪ There's nothing can hold me
when I hold you ♪

♪ It feels so right,
it can't be wrong ♪

♪ Rockin' and rollin'
all week long ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

♪ These happy days
are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are
yours and mine , Happy Days! ♪