04x22 - Fonz-How, Inc.

[bunniefuu]

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday,
happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ The weekend comes,
my cycle hums ♪

♪ Ready to race to you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

♪ Good-bye, gray sky,
hello, blue ♪

♪ There's nothing can hold me
when I hold you ♪

♪ It feels so right
it can't be wrong ♪

♪ Rocking and rolling
all week long ♪

(organ solo plays
over rhythmic handclaps)

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday,
happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ Saturday, what a day ♪

♪ Groovin' all week with you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

♪ These happy days ♪

♪ Are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are yours ♪

♪ And mine , Happy Days! ♪

♪ You ain't gonna
rock and roll no more ♪

Happy Days is filmed
before a studio audience.

♪ Let's see that dust fly
with that broom ♪

♪ Get all that garbage
out of sight ♪

♪ Or you don't go out
Friday night ♪

♪ Yakety yak, yakety yak ♪

♪ Yakety yak,
yakety yak ♪

♪ Yakety yak, yakety yak ♪

(engine revving)

♪ Yakety yak, yakety yak ♪

♪ Yak! ♪

(all laugh)

Can we open our
eyes now, Dad?

You got to keep them closed
until Fonzie gets here.

(sighing):
Oh.

Hey, greet-amundo!

Fonzie,
cover your eyes.

Cover my eyes, all right.

Sit down.

How can I sit down if I
can't see where I'm going?

Come on.
Easy does it.

There you are.
Thanks.

Okay, everybody
can open your eyes.

Well, why did we have
our eyes closed?

Look.

On the counter,
there is a bag of garbage.

How did that
get there?

That's a good trick, Dad.

Oh, yeah, listen, next
time tell me in advance,

I'll bring all my friends over;
we'll laugh hysterically.

All right, will everybody
just calm down please?
All right.

Marion, would you bring
the garbage over here please?

Howard, I'm not
having fun.

Who is?

That's it?

That's-that's what we
all closed our eyes for?

Look, will you just calm down
for a minute please?

Marion, I want you to bring
the garbage over here.

Right over here.

Good!

(laughter)

Dad, I think maybe you better
go upstairs and take a rest.

(laughter)

It's not funny.

Now look at this rug, and
I've got to pick it up.

No, no, no, no, no!
Leave it alone,

That's clean garbage.

I just picked it fresh.

Picked it fresh?

Maybe I better go upstairs
and take a little rest.

(laughs)

I've been breaking
myself up all week.

(laughter)

All right, everybody come
over here and gather around.

I want to show you
some plans.
Oh, come on, Dad.

Come on,
right over here.

Now then, it has always been

my secret ambition
to be an inventor.

You never told me that.

It was a secret.

Oh.

Oh, I'm gonna
clean up that garbage.

Now, just sit down,
Marion, please.

Now, exactly two weeks ago,
the same thing happened to me

that just happened to Mother.

Is this your idea
of revenge?

And I suddenly thought
to myself, I mean,

in this day and age,
here we are in the ' s,

that a person should not
have to carry the garbage out

times a week.

Hey, you know,
I totally agree.

That's why I never
have the same chick

pick up garbage, take
it out twice in a row.

Oh, that's good, good.

Thank you,
thank you.

Well, anyway, I thought
that there should be

some way to sort of keep it
in the kitchen, you know?

Sort of push it
all together.

And maybe only take it out
once or twice a week.

You know what I mean?

Sure.

It's called piling
it up in the corner.

(laughs)

No, I mean putting it in
some kind of a special container

and-and squeezing it
all together.

Oh, yuck, Dad!

I can't believe we're having
this conversation.

I can't stand it.

I've got to clean up
that garbage.

Hey, I'll tell you
something, Mrs. C.,

I think the Big H. here's
got the right idea.

I think what you're
talking about, if I get it,

is that you want to
squeeze it all together

like they do with old cars
when they put them to rest.

Exact-amundo!

Whoa!

Hey, hey, Dad, you know,
it's too bad you don't have

some, uh, big corporation
behind this idea, you know?

Why do I need a big corporation?

Listen, all of the great
inventions in life

have been by the little man.

You know the Wright Brothers?

They invented the airplane
in their own bicycle shop.

Yeah, but they were
just trying to build

a very wide bicycle
and it took off.

And Jenny Piccolo,

she invented the first
see-through nightie.

Marion.

I don't wear a
see-through nightie.

Will you talk
to Joanie, please?

Dear, I'm sure
you're wrong.

It was a man named
Frederick in Hollywood.

Well, Fonzie, what do
you think of the plans?

Uh, I'll tell you, see,

I think they're very good
for a start, Mr. C.

What do you mean "for a start"?

I'm all ready to build it.

Oh, well,
you can build this, you know,

but it ain't going
to work.

What? Why
won't it work?

Well, right here,
the spring action

ain't going to make it,
you know?

Well, what else
am I going to use?

Hydraulic lifts.

Really?

Oh, yeah,
the cylinders right in there.

You know, um, uh,
on, on a garage floor,

you got
the hydraulic lift, right?

You press a button,
it kind of raises the car up?

Yeah.
Well, with garbage,
instead of raise, push.

Hey, Dad, I think that's
your solution right there.

Oh, boy, hydraulics-- I
don't know much about that.

I'm not very good
with my hands.

Oh, I wouldn't say that.
Marion.

He's, uh, great at card tricks.

Dad, why don't you just
get, uh, Fonzie to help you?

He's great
with his hands.

He's a mechanical genius.

Heyyy.

(Fonzie and Richie chuckle)

Well, how about
it, Fonzie?

You want to work
on this together?

Look, gentlemen,
I am very busy.

I don't think I
have the time, huh?

Oh, Fonz?
Yeah?

Uh, you know, you, you really
should go in on it with Dad.

Why?

Why, Dad?

Talk.
Oh.

Well, golly,
gee, Fonz.
Oh, for...

I mean,

it's the, uh, the thrill
of... of invention,

the, the excitement of it, and,
uh, and you'd be great at it.

Yeah.
Really...

Really good.
...you could help Howard,

work with him.

How can I turn a
face like that down?

All right, I'll see
what I can do, huh?

All right, Fonz!

You know
you got my steam up?

Come on, let's go
out to the garage.

I want to show you
all the parts I got so far.

Come on, partner.

♪ ♪

One question.

Who said "Stop the music?"

POTSIE & RALPH:
Him.

There are people
trying to dance here.

Oh, well, Fonz, you see,

this isn't really
a formal dance.

This is just a rehearsal
for us, and, uh,

there's nobody dancing here,
it's not really a dance.

Red, I am
dancing.

Why don't we just
play something, guys?

(playing bluesy tune)

Fonzie, Fonzie, I've been
looking all over for you.

Yeah?

Well, I've been
here all the time.

Yeah, but... you,
you were supposed

to be at my place at
: this morning.

Well, Doris came by.

You know how things are, Mr. C.

Oh, well, look, Doris...

I'm terribly sorry,
but Fonzie is helping me.

Uh, Mr. C., this ain't Doris.

She had to go to work at : .

This is Eileen.

Oh.

Well, Eileen,
would you please excuse us?

I have to talk
to you, Fonzie.

All right, all right, all right.

Just keep
your motors running, huh?

(groans)
I got to put this down,
it's getting heavy.

Over here.

Excuse me, guys.

Sorry, but it's very heavy.

Fellas, fellas,
people are trying to eat here.

Now, what is
this contraption?

Oh, this is a
Garbage Gulper.

Howard.

We got a little rule
in the restaurant business.

We never say "garbage"

in front
of the customers.

What's that, Al, what's that?

Garbage!

Ugh.
Oh!

You see what you did?

Boys...

Mr. C., this looks
perfect to me.

Now what's
the problem?

Now, listen, Fonzie.

In just two days we've
got an appointment

to demonstrate
this machine,

and this part here that's
supposed to move,

it doesn't move.

Well, I see the problem--
it's not connected.

I'll fix it for you.

When?
When? I don't know.

I got a date right now,
soon, huh?

Send her home.

Here, sweetheart,
you run along,

Fonzie's gonna be
very busy now.

Ho, ho, ho,
ho, ho.

Hey! Now, excuse me,

Mr. C., all right,
for one minute?

(snaps fingers)
Richie... my office.

Uh, do yourself a favor,
have a malted, okay?

I don't want
a malted.

Eileen, dance with him.

I don't want to dance.

♪ ♪

♪ Dream ♪

♪ Dream, dream, dream ♪

♪ Dream... ♪

Is it safe to leave
your chick alone with
my dad out there?

Let me tell you
something, Red.

I am not safe
with your father.

He is going berserko
with his Garbage Gulper.

Can you dig it?
Yeah, I know.

He means well,
but he's really starting to,

starting
to drive me crazy.

Yeah, I gotta tell
you something,

I don't care what he's
doing for you.

You're the one that
got me into

this mess, huh?

(imitating Richie):
"Oh, golly gee, Fonz.

"Oh come on,
be an inventor.

"Oh golly, gee, Fonz.

Oh, come on,
just-just be a partner."

I only said one
"Golly, gee."

Do you know that
he sent Eileen home?

That's nothing.
That's nothing?

He's got all kinds
of crazy ideas.

He wants to start
a corporation.

Can you believe that?
A corporation.

And he wants me
to be the accountant.

Wants me to wear
a green eyeshade.

Now, you know how lousy
I look in hats.

Hey, let me tell
you something,
that's nothing.

I have to have lunch with
him every single day,

and I have to have the
businessman's special.

That's nothing--
he's sending Joanie

to welding school.

Hey, Red,
that is nothing.

Do you know
that he meets girls

at the bottom
of my stairway,

and I have to--
and he sends them home

I don't even get a chance
to look at 'em?

Now, that's something.

You're telling me,
that is something.

(phone rings)

I am busy!

All right.

Now, now get this, Fonz,
because this is serious.

Yeah.

He wants to set up factories
all over the world.
Factories.

He's even got a name
for the corporation.

Yeah, well, I want to
tell you something.

You better do something
about your dad.

Yeah.

He wants to call it

"Fonz-How,
Incorporated."

Yeah.

He wants to go
public with it,

put it on the New York
Stock Exchange
and everything.

Fonz-How, Inc.?

Well, yeah.

Yeah, well, you see, it's
Arthur Fonzarelli

and Howard Cunningham.

Oh, yeah, I got that in very,
very large lights.

Fonz-How, Inc.

I don't know what we're
gonna do about him.

I do.
Good.

You get a blimp.

With very,
very large lights

blinking all
over the world...

Fonz-How, Inc.

A blimp.

Fonz-How...

Whoa!

Can we fix it?
Of course we can fix it.

Let me see it.

All right, now, I'll bet you

that it is this arm right here
is too tight, you got--

Let me have that Kn*fe, right
here, just for a minute,

just for a minute.
All right, now look,

if we take-- if we take this
lever right here, you see?

Yeah.
All right,

and we just tighten it.
Just...

one couple...
right, just--

All right,
I'll bet you now

all we have to do is, uh--
There you go.

You-you bent my Kn*fe.

Oh, it's going to be
a very famous Kn*fe, Al.

We'll just take this right
into the kitchen, right?

My kitchen? You're going to take
that thing into my nice kitchen?

Al, I don't think
you understand.

This is a very important day
at Arnold's, you understand?

Makes history here.

This could be the start
of everything.

You mean,
this could really be big?

Sure, bigger than
hamburgers, Al.

We're talking about
factories, franchises,

New York
Stock Exchange.

Blimps!

What blimps?
We'll talk later.

Could I ride in the blimp?

Yeah, you can ride
in the blimp.

Let me take this.

Clarence, I'm going
to ride in a blimp!

Come on, partner.

RICHIE:
Okay, all right,
I got a solution.

Now, obviously,
we're never going

to be able to play
this song right.

Yeah.
So, we got to gloss
over it with movement.

Yeah? Well, I was made
for movement.

Bo Diddly!

(band playing bluesy melody)

HOWARD:
All right,
put the garbage in, Fonz.

FONZIE:
Hey, you got it, partner.

AL:
That's my cucumber salad!

HOWARD:
Okay, let it go, Fonz.

(expl*sive rumbling)

We must really be off.

Yeah.

That's the first time
people threw food at us.

(melody resumes)

Okay, so it's got
a few kinks in it.

We'll work it out.

HOWARD:
We did it!

We did it!

Marion, Richie, Joanie,
come on down here!

HOWARD (laughing):
It works! It works!

We did it.
MARION:
Howard.

Howard,
why the yelling?
It works.

It's :
in the morning.

Come on, come
on, it works!
Really?

Oh, this is exciting.

Oh, now, this is fun.
Congratulations.

Oh, that's
great, Dad.
That's great, Dad.

Start it up.
Start it up.

Well, all right, I'll
just, uh, press the button.

Wait!
Are you going
to hug me again?

You just can't
turn on a switch like this.

Don't you realize that
this is an historical moment?

I mean, the minute
that switch goes on,

the world is never going
to be the same again.

We're going to have
whatever we want.

Can I drop out of
welding school, Dad?

We'll see.

Fonzie...

Whoa.

It's your honor.

In the name of
Fonz-How, Inc.

(machine hums)

(machine clatters and stops)

That was exciting.

Doesn't work.

It doesn't work!

What happened?
It doesn't work!

Oh, no!
That's all right,
all right.

Mr. C, please!
Oh, Dad.

Oh, gosh,
everyone go to bed.

Oh, Howard, now it's going
to be all right.

Come to bed, and you'll see.

It'll be... It'll be all right
tomorrow, dear.

Well, why don't you fix it
like you always do?

Give it the old
Fonzie bang.

That's an idea.

Wait a minute. It's not an idea.

See, this is not a simple toy.

This is heavy machinery.

We're talking
about hydraulics here.

Oh, Fonzie's right.
It's useless.

Go to bed, everyone.

Oh, Howard, why don't you just
give it one...

Marion, please!

Yes, dear, we'll all
go to bed.

Well, it was good
while it worked, Dad.

Hey, uh, yeah, don't worry,
Dad, because, uh,

first time out,

Alexander Graham Bell
got a wrong number.

Hey, Mr. C., don't
worry about it.

We can have it
fixed in a jiffy.

No, Fonzie, I am through.

Finished.

This Garbage Gulper
was a crazy idea.

I quit.
Now, wait a minute.

Wait a minute.
That is not right.

This Garbage Gulper
was a great idea,

and you can't just
quit like that.

I just did.

Well, what about

if all the great men
in history quit, right?

What about Edison
and the light bulb?

Then I'd be quitting
in the dark.

And what about Macaroni
and the radio?

Marconi.
Whatever.

Fonzie, I give up!

All right. All right,
you can just sit there.

If you want to let
the American housewife down,

that's up to you.

But this is one man
that would never let women down.

Now, would you be so kind as
to hand me a screwdriver?

Yeah, maybe if we just
adjust this lever, huh?

All right, maybe
it's too tight.

That's it.

We're going to have
this fixed, Mr. C.,

and then we can
show them, you know?

Well, you just don't show it,
Fonzie, you got to sell it.

You got to make a presentation.

You know, I remember
when they sold the rake,

they had a -minute film.

Oh, it was so boring.

We're gon... We're
gonna make a film?

Maybe we can
use the blimp.

We won't have time
for that,

but we'll give them
a presentation

they'll never forget.

Gentlemen, this is
a Garbage Gulper.

A catchy name, huh? Huh?

Richard?

Now, what this does is
take a week's garbage

and compact it into one
small, tiny package.

You're very dynamic,
Howard.

Thank you.

So what we have here is garbage,

and the great need
for the How-Fonz Garbage Gulper.

Oh, hey,
hey, hey.

Oh, excuse me.
The Fonz-How Garbage Gulper.

And now, I would like
to introduce you

to the gentleman
who's in charge of
our marketing survey.

And accounting.

As you know, a housewife
has many responsibilities--

raising the children,
shopping for food

and taking care of her
family's many needs.

Now I'd like
to introduce

to you a typical
American housewife

who will give you her
unbiased opinion of garbage.

(Richie, Potsie and Ralph hum
"Stars and Stripes Forever")

My many, numerous,
happy chores

are interrupted
many times a day

by taking out
the garbage.

How many times
have I said

to myself, "Golly, gee,
I wish I had a machine

"that could compress
the garbage,

and then I would just have
to make one trip a week?"

Thank you, typical
American housewife.

You know,

I just realized that garbage
is a plague on this earth.

It's... I just
spend time

constantly taking
out the garbage.

I mean, who would think
that a family of four

could make so
much garbage?

Uh, uh, thank you, Marion.

This is my son.

I have a
daughter, also.

Well, I'm sorry your daughter
couldn't make it.

They could use a soprano.

She went to the movies
with Jenny Piccolo.

Marion, can we get on... Boys!

(one final hum)

And now, Mr. Fonzarelli
will demonstrate the machine.

All right. Potsie, let's-let's
put the garbage right in here.

Right, uh, garbage in, Fonz.

All right.

I've just got
to turn this on.

(whirring)

Oh. Oh, my, my.

That-That really seems
to be working.

Oh, my, this is fun.

Oh, give me all the garbage.

Oh.
Especially
the liverwurst.

Get the liverwurst in here.

Oh, wow, look at all the garbage
going in there.

Here we go.

Oh, more trash,
come on, more trash.

That's it.
Right in here.

(clanks)

(machine stops)
What happened?

Uh, no sweat, no
sweat. Just overload.

Just overload. Hey, any
of you guys in here got a broom?

Uh, your walking
stick will do.

No, no, no, that's
a very expensive walking stick.

Leave that alone.

Well, so is the Garbage Gulper.

That is a solid silver tip.

It's a beautiful
thing.

Yeah, really.

All right, here we go,
here we go.

(crunching)
Oh, hold it,
hold it.

Hold it. Big fella!
Hold it, big fella!

(whirring)
This is... Hey,
Hold it! Hold it!

Big fella,
wait a minute, hold it.

Whoa!

Whoa!

Hey.
(machine whirring)

Easy, easy does it.

Well, at least I saved you
the most expensive part.

What am I supposed
to do with that?

Are you kidding?
It still works. I...

I just suggest that you walk
very close to tables,

that's all.

Will you take that
out of here, all of you?

I don't want to
see this knock-off.

♪ La, la, la, la,
la, la, la, la ♪

(overlapping shouting)

♪ La, la, la, la,
la, la, la, la ♪

♪ La-la, la-la,
la-la, la. ♪

MARION:
Oh, Howard,

they didn't
like it.

No, they said
that America wasn't ready yet

for the Garbage
Gulper.

However...

they did like
our hydraulic system.

Yeah, as a
matter of fact,

they paid us $ for
our hydraulic system.

(all talking at once)

$ ?

Yeah, dig
this, dig this.

We got our names
on a patent pending.

That's pretty good, huh?

(all talking
at once)
That's great!

That's great.
That's great.

I'm so
proud of you.

Thank you,
sweetheart.

You're-You're a man
ahead of your time, Dad.

Yeah, well, I couldn't have
done it without you, Fonzie.

I don't know how
to thank you.

Well, you know, you
can give me the $ .

Oh, I don't want
to do that.

But I'll give you
a little hug.

Yeah. Once.
Hmm?

Okay, that's enough.

Yeah, that's enough.

Partner, huh?

All right,
partner.

Congratulations.

All right,
look at this.

My best friend and my dad.

I want to just
give you something as a memento

of this moment.

Oh. Isn't that nice?

Well, how come
you're giving me my own camera?

Oh, no. No.

I'm going to take a picture
of Fonzie and you.

Oh.

And your dream blimp.

That's terrific, huh?

Hey, let me ask
you a question.

Does this blink?

No, no, it's just a blimp.

Oh.
Well, my partner and I
will fix that right away.

Yeah.
Okay.

Okay, get ready.

Yeah, I'm-I'm ready.

(clears throat)

Hey, I'm just
kidding, partner.

I'm just kidding.

♪ La, la-la, la ♪

RICHIE:
I got it!
♪ La, la-la, la ♪

♪ La, la-la, la,
la, la-la, la. ♪

Right, $ .
I'll tell him.

Yeah, well, no, I'm not...

I'll ask him, dear.

All right, bye-bye, dear.

I just talked to Joanie,

and she said
she's so happy for you.

Oh, and she said
she wanted to know

if she could quit
welding school.

Well, we'll see.

I guess maybe I got
carried away too much, huh?

Oh, Arthur.

I'm just so sorry
that you and Howard

didn't become rich and famous.

You know, Fonzie,

you're amazing;
you never get depressed.

Oh, that's only on the outside,

but deep, deep, deep,
way deep down, I get depressed.

But I got my own way
of, uh, drowning my sorrows.

Excuse me.

Whoa.

(band plays bluesy melody)

♪ These days are ours ♪

♪ These happy days are yours
and mine , Happy Days. ♪

♪ Good-bye, gray sky,
hello, blue ♪

♪ There's nothing can hold me
when I hold you ♪

♪ It feels so right,
it can't be wrong ♪

♪ Rockin' and rollin'
all week long ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

♪ These happy days
are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are
yours and mine , Happy Days! ♪