01x10 - Lads and Ladies and Us

[bunniefuu]

Adult Dean: One of the
great things about my mom

was how much she invested
in us when we were little.

♪ Imagine me and you, I do ♪

She was like that for all of us.

♪ I think about you day and night ♪

But she and Kim had things in common

that she didn't have with
me and my brother Bruce.

A few years later, Bruce and I destroyed

that tea set wrestling
around in the family room.

Kim adored mama.

She wanted to be just like her.

And mama loved the
special bond they shared.

Then the teen years hit.

You think I'm gonna wear this?

- Am I moving to a convent?
- No.

ADULT DEAN: It started out
as fights about clothes.

Then makeup, then curfew.

Pretty soon it felt like they
were fighting about everything.

My dad understood this
was a typical pattern

for girls and their moms.

Unfortunately, I didn't.

This is so crazy.

They argue so much
'cause they're just alike.

♪♪

[Sighs]

♪♪

ADULT DEAN: Like my dad, I
eventually learned to stay out of it.

That's just the way things were.

KIM: So what? I missed one meeting.

I was tired.

Stop making a big deal about this.

It is a big deal. You
can't just miss a meeting

with a college recruiter
because you felt tired.

When I was applying, I met
with every recruiter I could,

whether I felt like it or not.

I know. And your
applications were perfect,

and your interviews were
perfect, and your GPA...

Was not perfect.

I made a "B." Once.

I've told you a million times,

I'm not sure I even
want to go to college.

Bill, you'd better get your daughter.

ADULT DEAN: Kim and I both knew
that if mom referred to us

as our father's children,

we needed to be out of range

of anything she could throw.

College is my decision, not yours.

[Door slams]

[Sighs]

♪♪

Go ahead.

Slam another door.

♪♪

[Sighs]

[Laughter]

BILL: Ah, there you go.

Dean! Come get a couple
cokes for me and Mr. Long.

ADULT DEAN: In the south,
everything was called a "coke,"

but I knew what my dad actually
wanted was a ginger ale.

And Cory knew his dad
was asking for a grape soda.

But, dad, you're closer
to the fridge than we are.

Boy, go get us some cokes
and don't talk back.

What? I didn't even say nothing.

Can you believe that?

When I was coming up,
you'd never question an adult.

And if you did, you'd wake up
in the middle of next week.

Mm. Well, he's not half as bad as Kim.

Jesus, keep me near the cross.

Ooh, yeah. I heard about
your little door-slamming fix.

Yeah, we're, uh,
remodeling our sun porch,

so if you want to come rip
some more doors off,

come right on over.

- [Laughter]
- I'm serious.

I don't know what to do with that girl.

I mean, she's talking
back and... [sighs]

Headed off at all hours
of the night to god knows where,

and don't get me started about
that boy she's seeing again.

- Kwame.
- Albert.

Then she had the nerve to say
she may not go to college.

I think she's getting it from that crowd

she's been hanging out with.

They're putting things in her head.

I hear you. That's why we're thinking

about putting our Cory
into lads and ladies.

Yeah, we want to get him
around some children

with some good families that
share the same values that we do.

We talked about joining

when they were starting
that local chapter

a few years back. Remember, Bill?

Yeah, but I'm not sure we're
lads and ladies-type people.

We do all right, but we're
not fancy like they are.

You mean like us?

Now, we can get up and get
into our brand-new Cadillac

out front and leave.

Don't get your 'fro
all bent out of shape,

Mr. Rockefeller. You're
not going anywhere

with us sitting on ten books over here.

Yeah, you right about that.

[Laughter]

VIVIAN: Now, fancy or not,
you should think about it.

Dean and Kim would be around
the right kind of kids.

And you wouldn't have to worry so much

about the "kwames" of the world.

Maybe we should give them another look.

- What do you say?
- I say anything

that keeps that girl on
the straight and narrow

and off my last nerve is a good thing.

Well, while y'all think
about the lads and ladies,

I'mma go ahead and cut
this with a lad of my own.

Ha-hey! Ha-ha! Whoo!

♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ And I know ♪

♪ Ohh ♪

♪ Through the highs and the lows ♪

LILLIAN: You know how important
first impressions are.

I want everyone at lads and ladies

to know how special you are.

Roll those eyes again,

and I'll make sure they
get stuck that way.

Now, act smart,

well-spoken, well-mannered
in front of the adults.

Be respectful and remember to show

that you're up on current events.

ADULT DEAN: Current events? I was .

I thought a Dixiecrat was a new
kind of sundae at dairy queen.

What's the point of this
lads and ladies thing?

I mean, I already have friends,

and I don't have to
dress up to go see them.

It's an organization made up of
prominent families

who do really good
work in our community.

These are the type of successful
people I want you to be around,

so I need you two to be
on your best behavior.

ADULT DEAN: Mama was always
giving us speeches

about being on our
best behavior in public

and representing our family well.

What was she afraid we were gonna do?

[Sneezes, belches]

Black! Blackness! Vietnam!

[r*fle cocks]

Lil, there's nothing
left to fix on the boy.

- Let's go.
- Dad, it's a Saturday.

It's the only day I
get to watch cartoons.

Why can't I stay home while you guys go?

You know this is a family event.

- Now get in the car.
- But why?

The only reason we're going
is because you're afraid

that Kim's gonna fall
into the wrong crowd

and not go to college.

Is that why we've gotten
so bourgeois all of a sudden?

'Cause you're trying to run my life?

Young lady, as long as
you're in this house,

you'll do as your mother and I say.

And I say lads and ladies
is a classist organization

that only exists to
reinforce the patriarchy.

Those are some mighty good sat words

for someone who don't want
to go to college.

Ugh. The point is it's my decision.

Didn't your father just tell you

who makes the decisions in this house?

And you better come on...

ADULT DEAN: Yeah, this was a fight.

But just like other families,

we knew how to turn
it on when it counted.

[Indistinct conversations]

VIVIAN: I'll be back for that recipe.

Oh, ooh!

You all look wonderful!

- Mwah. Mwah.
- [Vivian and Lillian giggle]

Oh, now, I've almost met everybody here,

so I can introduce you.

Now, right over there,
that's Dorothy Payton.

This is her home, and she is the head

of the selection committee,

so you'll want to be nice to her.

Oh, I'm nice to everybody.

- Hmph.
- Don't you start.

So you ready to go over to meet Dorothy?

Um...

ADULT DEAN: I didn't
understand why at the time,

but mama looked nervous.

Dad noticed too, but him
being a man in the s,

he didn't know exactly
what to say either,

so he went with his old standby.

Uh, you look very pretty, sweetie.

[Chuckles softly] Thank you, Bill.

Oh, my.

This is like sorority
rush all over again.

[Inhales deeply]

Okay, let's go.

Dorothy! [Chuckles]

I would like to introduce you

to my dear friend Lillian Williams.

Oh, hello.

And these are her
children, Dean and Kim.

Such a pleasure to
meet you, Mrs. Payton.

ADULT DEAN: Kim was gonna be on
her best behavior like mama asked,

but she was still gonna do it
in a way that embarrassed her.

Thank you, Kim. Please get up.

[Laughter]

I am so surprised

that our paths haven't
crossed before now.

You know, Vivian and I know
a lot of the same people.

Would I have seen you

at one of the fundraising
luncheons for the NAACP?

No, I don't think so.

Oh, well, do you do anything

with the women's auxiliary group
at the boys & girls club?

Wait, I know.

Bridge club.

[Both chuckle]

I'm afraid not.

I-I work during the day,

so I don't get to attend many
luncheons and club meetings.

[Chuckles]

I'm an accountant at the state's
department of treasury.

Interesting!

Lillian here went to
grad school for her M.S.

Now, I just stopped at my M-R-S.

- [Laughs]
- Didn't we all?

- Oh!
- [Laughter]

Now, tell me about that recipe.

♪♪

ADULT DEAN: Thankfully, I saw Cory.

I'd just do whatever he did,

like I do in school
when I didn't fit in.

And on the baseball team.

And in church...

[Chuckling] Man, pretty soon,

I'm gonna have to pay Cory a retainer.

I am so happy to see you, man.

I don't know what to say to these cats.

They're... They're different.

NELSON: Uh, no.

They're gonna have to scrap the Apollo

with all the problems with the Apollo .

That's not what "time"
magazine said, Nelson.

ADULT DEAN: A bunch of black kids

talking about space missions?

This felt unfamiliar yet familiar.

Could I be... In my element?

You know, my man Dean knows
everything about science.

Tell them about your new chemistry set.

Yeah, well, I did get the
new skilcraft chem-master set

- for my birthday.
- What?

I thought that was for kids and over.

The government makes
them put it on the box.

Yeah, it does have
some serious chemicals,

but, uh...

I can make a stink b*mb.

Stink bombs are so cool.
How do you make one?

ADULT DEAN: I found my tribe!

I had a feeling I'd never had before...

Confidence!

And so I said,

"then, do you pee outside?"

[Laughter]

You were right, Dean.

It was a thinker.

Hey, Dean, are you coming to the
planetarium with us next week?

Uh, I hope so. I mean,
I love the planetarium.

Dean can name all eight planets.

ADULT DEAN: Cory was wrong then,

but he turned out to be right

thanks to an absolutely fascinating

string of discoveries.

Yeah, still a nerd.

ADULT DEAN: Now that I was all in
with these lads and ladies kids,

I didn't want Kim's funky attitude

to mess it all up for me.

- What?
- Okay, I need a favor.

I'll do all your chores for a week

if you tell mom you want to come
to every lads and ladies event.

Okay.

ADULT DEAN: Man, that was easy!

Too easy.

It is so cool that Howard has a major
in afro-American studies.

It's not just a major anymore.

They started a whole new department.

There was a bit of a student
takeover, if you will.

If I do decide to go to college,

I got to go someplace

with a progressive curriculum, you dig?

[Chuckles] Right on, sister!

You know, you should really come
to our college information meeting.

You'd definitely dig that.

ADULT DEAN: What? Kim
was having a good time?

Man, I played myself.

I was gonna have to do a week
of Kim's chores for nothing.

Dammit.

Wait, you're talking
about Nat king Cole?

- The Nat King Cole?
- The one and only.

- Ooh.
- [Laughter]

Now, I'm not saying Nat's band
was into wild stuff,

but let's just say this cocktail
waitress and her friends...

Hey, Bill. Bill.

Oh. Hey, Dean.

ADULT DEAN: I can't
tell you how many times

I heard my dad almost finish that story.

Mom says it's time to go.

Hey, it was really
good meeting you, Bill.

And I'll be listening for
your song on the radio.

Hey, give me a call about
the club in Birmingham.

The owner, he's always
looking for a good band.

I definitely will. I
really appreciate it.

Yeah. Hey, us lads and ladies folk,

we take care of each other.

Dean, tell your mama
I'll be there in a minute.

It was so nice meeting you, Lillian.

We really look forward
to seeing you and your children

at the rest of our events
for prospective families.

Well, we really look forward to
being involved.

- See you next time.
- All right. Bye, Vivian.

Bye. [Giggling]

Did you hear what
she said about "good hair"?

Like anybody's hair could stay good

out in this type of humidity for hours.

I did. It was right after she said,

"we only take a certain type
of family into lads and ladies."

I see a whole lot of
milk chocolate out here

and not a lot of dark chocolate.

- Hm.
- [Sighs]

Well, there go my boys.

[Giggles] See you later, girl.

This wasn't as bad as I thought.

I actually met some guys who
had excellent taste in music.

[Chuckles] Meaning
they heard your record?

Yep. Real good taste.

Yeah, well, we'll see how it goes.

You don't sound happy.

I'm afraid they might be
living up to their reputation,

if you know what I mean.

Somebody say something?

Well, it's not like they
pulled out a brown paper bag

or anything, but it was
just a lot of comments

about looking for lads
and ladies type of people.

Well, you let me know
what you want to do.

As long as it's good for Dean and Kim,

we'll stick with the process.

ADULT DEAN: That was great news because

I'd promised a stink b*mb,

and I'm a man of my word!

Bill: Dean! Kim! Let's go!

♪♪

- Ooh!
- Hey, Dean, come on.

Oh, well, looks like we were
wrong about the whole... thing.

[Both chuckle]

Looks like we're still
in the running, girl.

So what you gonna wear
to Dorothy's luncheon tomorrow?

What luncheon?

You know, the one for all the moms.

Oh.

Lil, I'm so sorry. I...

Don't worry about it.
I'm glad they invited you.

At least now we know
it's not about complexion.

Well, it probably was just an oversight.

I'll talk to Dorothy.

No, don't worry about it.

And feel free to go without me.

[Chuckles] Girl, now, you...

You know I was still going.

[Chuckles]

I'm not gonna have no fun, though.

minutes. Come on.

[Sighs]

[Indistinct conversations, laughter]

♪♪

Hey, I'm not gonna lie.

I felt a little left out last time,

so I spent all night
studying up on the planets.

Did you know that Pluto is so
far out there that from there,

the sun just looks like a regular star?

Also, did you know that we have
a library by where we live?

ADULT DEAN: Wait a minute, Cory's
an astronomer all of a sudden?

Hey, you know how sports is your thing?

Mm-hmm.

Maybe leave the planets to me.

Okay. Unless there's
a cute girl out there.

Then the Pluto thing's coming back out.

ADULT DEAN: Cory was probably
the only kid in the world

who could make a pick-up line
about Pluto work.

Man: Let's begin this trip
by looking at the solar system

with the largest object
in our solar system, our sun.

The Sun is a star...

When we get back outside,

I'll set it off in the parking lot.

Ooh-hoo-hoo, this is gonna be great.

Let me see it.

No.

MAN: ... In February of
by Clyde Tombaugh.

Did you know that Pluto was so far...

- [Sniffing]
- Ew.

[People coughing]

[Indistinct chatter]

♪♪

♪♪

[Car door opens, closes]

What happened?

A stink b*mb went off

but Dean had nothing to do with it.

Yeah, we, uh, had to miss
the rest of the exhibition.

Uh, do you think we could
come back next weekend?

We'll see.

ADULT DEAN: Something about
that look on my mom's face

made me worried that
she wasn't buying it.

But soon I would realize

what she had on her
mind wasn't about me.

Dorothy. [Chuckles]

Do you mind if I ask you a question?

Vivian was telling me about a luncheon,

and I hadn't heard anything about it.

Is it an official event?

Because if so, I'd hate to miss it.

Oh. It's on a weekday

and I didn't think
you'd be able to attend.

I imagine you have so much on your plate

with all your numbers
and meetings and things.

Thank you for your concern,

but I would find the time.

Oh, I would never ask you to do that!

But a lot of our meetings
and get-togethers

do happen during the afternoon,

and I'd imagine that participating

would be difficult for
someone with a career.

Well, I would find a way to contribute.

Just like the other working
mothers of lads and ladies.

We don't...

Haven't had many like
you in our chapter.

Well, I hope this won't affect

your decision on membership.

When it comes to doing
what's good for my family,

I always find a way to work things out.

I'm sure you do your best.

We won't decide about membership
until after the spring gala.

It's at night, so I'm sure
you'll be able to make it.

ADULT DEAN: It would be a few decades

before I learned the name for it,

but outside that planetarium

was the first time I witnessed

the phenomenon known as "shade."

ADULT DEAN: Something
about my mom's silence

on that ride home
made me feel that my reign

as the king of the lads and
ladies kids was in peril.

Since this whole thing was about Kim,

I decided it was up to her to fix it.

KIM: No, the other kids
are actually pretty cool,

and my dress for their party is boss.

Look, I got to go.

There's a pest in my room.

- [Sighs] What?
- So you know how mom

was worried that we would do
something to blow our chances

into getting into lads and ladies?

Well, I think the real
problem might be her.

- What are you talking about?
- She didn't get invited

to the lunches with the other moms,

and when she asked
miss Dorothy about it,

they got into this big fight,

which wasn't really a
fight, but it kinda was.

Hm.

If they have issue with you
being a working mom,

maybe they're not the
right group for us.

Tell them to kick rocks.
You have plenty of friends.

This is not about me.

It's like we said, it's about this being

a good thing for the kids.

So it is true? We're not getting in?

Great. I found this
dress and got excited

about this gala for nothing.

Well, I'm honestly not sure
about our chances.

It'll be their loss, Lil.

Those women ain't got nothing on you.

A bunch of jealous hens, you ask me.

Can't you just do
what you always tell me to do

when people don't like me?

Show them why you're special.

Ask them about themselves.

Tell a joke.

I got some good ones you can use.

I just hate the idea
of you guys missing out

- because of my choices.
- What?

The only thing they missed out on

is a smaller house and only one car.

Dean, I'm sure there are times

that you wish I was doing things

like volunteering more at your school.

Yeah, but that was only
because when miss Vivian did it,

she would give Cory extra cookies

and he'd get to go home early.

Well, Kim, Lord knows I miss the times

when I wasn't working as much
and we did everything together.

Well, that wasn't your fault.

We don't want you to
quit your job, mama.

Oh, I'm not quitting.

We are going to that spring gala,

and we're gonna do what we always do.

Be who we are and hope for the best.

That's right.

Nobody else is gonna talk about
how Kim's dress is cut too low?

I can see the girl's heart b*ating.

Daddy! Ugh!

You better be walking off
to get another dress.

[Indistinct conversations]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

Welcome to the Montgomery chapter

of Lads and Ladies'
bi-annual spring gala.

[Applause]

Now it's time to meet
the fine young people

eligible to be presented

at next year's debutante cotillion.

These groups are both
current and prospective

lads and ladies members.

First, miss Sandra Diane Henderson...

[Applause]

... a senior at...

Bill, do you see Kim?

She's probably in the
bathroom hogging the mirror.

She can do that for hours.

DOROTHY: Thank you, Catherine.

Isn't she so lovely?

[Applause]

And next we have miss
Kimberly Lanette Williams.

Kim is a junior at...

[People gasp]

ADULT DEAN: While everyone else
wore their formal gowns,

Kim busted out one of
mama's business suits

and strutted her stuff
like when they played dress-up

back in the day.

She made a real statement that night.

At first, we didn't know how to react,

but the look on mom's face

made everything we'd gone
through worthwhile.

[Light applause]

♪♪

Unfortunately, Nelson also
wanted to make a statement.

He copied my stink b*mb formula.

[People coughing]

But I felt heartened

knowing that my influence would live on.

DOROTHY: Everyone,
everyone, please, remain...

♪♪

Why you wearing a Tuskegee sweater

when we're going to visit Howard?

Howard is not the only school around.

Besides, Tuskegee's on the way.

Fine. But I'm driving.

[Scoffs] No!

But you can pick the music, though.

[Engine starts]

[Horn honks]

♪ Ooh, I don't care if the
whole, wide world knows ♪

♪ I want to tell them just what I feel ♪

They're gonna have a good time?

Yes, they will.

With just a little bit of bloodshed.

♪ I wanna tell it like a feel ♪